October 2, 2008

Jax Teller sat up on the edge of his bed, grabbing a cigarette out of the pack to bring to his lips and light it. He stared down at the carpeted floor, taking slow drags from the cigarette as he looked at his phone, watching it light up with an incoming call. It wasn't her so he sat there, watching it, until it stopped vibrating on the end table and the light went away. Such a short amount of time since he'd last seen her but god was it killing him.

What they always said was true. Rip what you sow. Made your bed, lay in it. He just couldn't get over how different she was with it. He remembered the times he upset Tara all those years ago, she held the grudge for weeks on end. With Wendy, she was honest about her feelings but didn't speak about the dilemma anymore. With Vivian, she was hurt the most and he couldn't get her to even talk to him. She wouldn't even lash out at him. It was silence, forgiven but silent.

Jax sighed heavily, standing up to go to the bathroom. He started his shower and moved to the toilet to quickly relieve himself before he kicked his boxers toward the door and tossed the finished cigarette into the toilet. Quickly taking a shower, he then got dressed. White tee, jeans, his kutte. He grabbed a black baseball cap and put it on backwards before he grabbed his wallet, keys and phone to leave the room and lock it up.

She was on his mind every single step of the way. Wondering where she was, what she was doing. Was she at the hospital? Did she get her morning coffee? Does she have any patients today? Scheduled deliveries? What was she doing with her Thursday? Jax Teller sighed again, making his way through the clubhouse but stopping at the sound of his name being called from the Chapel.

"Didn't know you were back. If you're ready, we can call Church real quick and discuss this shit." Jax walked into the Chapel, taking his seat next to Clay Morrow. "You're going to be pissed though."

Clay waved his step-son off and shook his head. "Nah, it's all good. Do you know how long he's been in town?"

"I don't. I just saw him at the hospital the other day and he was questioning hospital staff so I don't know what his game is." Jax shook his head slowly. "He was definitely a Fed though. Probably ATF if I was a betting man."

Clay nodded his head. "Call for Church, let's discuss this shit. You been doing ok, son? You don't look so good at all."

"Yeah I'm good. My beauty masks aren't working anymore, you know how that can be." Jax faked a chuckle as he pulled his phone out of his pocket and started dialing the members' numbers."

.

.

"ATF is here. We don't know why or what for but they are here. It has to be them." Clay spoke to the table full of members. "We've taken every precaution to stay out of ATF's crosshairs. No busts, no investigations for five years. We don't know this guy is here for us."

Jax took a drag from his cigarette, his blue eyes on Clay. "Hale flagged Bluebird as our gun warehouse. He's pissed off we made Unser crush the case, and he called in the feds. I think it's gotta be about us."

"Be my guess." Bobby looked at Jax before training his gaze on Clay.

"And we've got a garage full of 25 to life." Tig looked at Clay.

Clay tensed up, turning to Tig. "Any legit place we store those guns is a straight line back to us."

"Can't Rosen get us some storage short term?" Bobby shrugged, turning sideways in his chair to face Clay again.

Clay shook his head. "He's killing Bluebird, man. I mean, he's setting up a dummy corp. It takes weeks."

The VP shrugged, taking another drag. "We did get that call from Jury last week. Mayans pressing the Devil's Tribe to pay a vig... to keep running book and pussy out of Nevada." Jax looked at Bobby and Juice. "Look, maybe I do head to Indian Hills. Offer Jury some advice. He offers our AKs a safe house."

"No." Clay sat back in his chair.

"No. That's a risky ride, brother. Northern Nevada is Mayan's territory. They're still looking to settle a score from our little raid." Juice sat up, leaning on the table slightly to look at Jax.

Bobby nodded his head. "Mayan's know the Tribe is a brother club. Part of asking for that vig is about shitting on us. They knew Jury would call, they're gonna be watching."

"That's what I'm saying. Just you and me go, under the radar. We bring the guns in the same way." Jax nodded, his blue eyes on the President.

Clay turned his chair to face Jax. "And you think you can bring Jury on board with this?"

"Shit. My dad saved his ass in Tay Ninh. He owes the Tellers a chit." Jax nodded, a smirk briefly appearing on his face as he saw Clay's facial expression. "Look man. We're not gonna go cowboy. I promise."

Bobby threw up his hands. "Promise." He drew an X over his chest with his finger.

"Low profile. I don't want no wetbacks knowing we crossed into N.V" Clay then turned to Tig. "They pull this off, I want you and Juice driving the barrels."

Tig nodded with a smile, looking at Juice briefly. "Done. We'll need something big though."

"I'll call Unser." Clay nodded with a sigh as Jax stood up from the table and shook Clay's hand before he left the room.

Mid-morning

Jax sat on a bench in the park, watching his ex-wife walk around the entire park, pushing a stroller that held their baby. He looked up, seeing someone walking towards him and he started to smile noticing it was Vivian. He stood up to hug her but she stopped walking, making Jax sit back down.

"Not here for you. I brought these for her, she wanted advice on proper healing. Maybe you could keep it in your pants long enough to see her through this after action process. She's in another new world, now she heals her body and gets it back on a normal track. Not the whole growing and housing her body out to another human phase." Vivian held out the pamphlets and a flash drive. "Let her know I'm still her doctor and I'm still her friend so I'm always here for her."

Jax nodded his head, taking the pamphlets and flash drive from the brunette. "I just want to let you know I'm going out of town for a few days but I'll be back. Ope's not going so if you need anything, give him a call."

"I don't need anything at all." Vivian shook her head.

He sighed as he closed his eyes for a second then regained his composure. "Just remember what I said. I have to run out of town errands, but I wanted to also tell you I love you. I know you're still angry with me and you should be, I did stupid shit but I do love you, Viv."

"Too bad your love wasn't enough to stop you from sleeping with the same person who fucked you over before." Vivian shrugged her shoulders. "Who even wanted you to abandon everything you love and know here to follow her some little lost lap dog. Hope you at least enjoyed yourself." She turned, leaving the man sitting there on the bench.

St. Thomas Hospital

Tara Knowles knocked on the open door, watching as Vivian looked up and waved the taller brunette into the office. Tara sighed as she entered the office, closed the door and sat down across from her lead doctor. "I wanted to talk to you, privately."

"What do you need to discuss?" Vivian finished her report, closing the file and pushing it to the side before looking up at Tara.

Tara cleared her throat nervously. "I just wanted to thank you for sending off to do checks so I didn't have to be near Josh." She looked down for a moment. "You should know it was a stupid mistake and he hasn't spoken to me since the other day when he brought you flowers."

"I'm going to be very clear with you, Dr. Knowles. This will only be said once." Vivian looked at the brunette. "This is a work setting, a professional setting. I don't bring personal matters here and I will not discuss my personal matters with my colleagues so it is suggested here today that you do not discuss my personal matters either. Your business, whatever it may be with Mr. Teller has nothing to do with me and I don't need to know about anything unless it starts to interfere with your work here."

Tara furrowed her brow. "Don't you love him? I know he loves you. How are you so cold about it?"

"That's not your concern. I'm not cold about anything. I don't bring my home life to work. My personal matters do not belong here." Vivian shook her head. "If there is nothing else to discuss, that is work related, you can go. I'll be handing a new patient over to you here shortly. I'm having her come in at two, it'd be excellent if you were here for that meeting."

Tara nodded her head slowly. "I'll be back here for the meeting then. Thank you."

Late afternoon - Early evening

Jax pulled up to the brunette's home, turning his motorcycle off and dismounting it before he made his way to the front door. He took note of the subtle fall decorations that had been put out and he smiled. Last year was a bigger deal, this was tame for Vivian Anderson. Fall was her favorite. He pushed the doorbell, listening to the chime before stepping back to await the beauty's response. He looked back to the street at the sound of a vehicle pulling the driveway. White BMW, it was her. He moved back down the sidewalk and toward the driveway where she pulled her sedan into the garage and left it open.

Jax walked into the garage and opened the door for the brunette. "I wanting to stop by before I left. I know, you don't want to see me bu-."

"So why do you keep showing up?" She stared up at the man. "What the fuck do you want from me, Jax?"

He sighed as he shrugged lazily. "Forgiveness, another chance, your trust, your phone calls telling me how your appointments went. Your friendship again. Viv, I love you, that doesn't just disappear."

"It disappeared the night you decided to throw all of what we were building out the fucking window. I forgave you, I'm not forgetting what you did though. I cannot look at you right now without seeing that stupid look on your stupid face when you showed up at my place of work just to tell me you fucked my colleague, your ex- who, let me remind you, was snooping around the files I have on Wendy. Who fucked you over years ago. Who tried to drag you from what you love just because she didn't want to be here but oddly enough, she came back. Why? Am I the only one who logically finds that stupid?" She pushed him away from her sedan and got out of it. "You want all of that back but you already had it! I willingly gave to you once already and you just threw it away. Why should I trust you again?"

He sighed again as he hung his head. "Because I know I fucked up and I am promising you that it will never happen again. I won't do it again, Viv. I just need you back, I need you in my life. I'm sorry I'm an idiot."

"Go on your trip, Jax." Vivian pointed outside of her garage. "Please, go on your trip and I'll consider the idea. Just go."

He nodded slowly, grabbing her hand for a moment and squeezing it. "I love you, Viv. I'll let you know when I get there, ok?" He let go of her hand then walked out of the garage, not missing the sound of the garage closing behind him.

AN: Here's another, I know three chapters in a day. I've been on a kick, I hope you guys are enjoying it!

With dumb decisions, sometimes lessons are learned. Just curious though, how many of you are hoping she truly forgives him and gives him another chance?

Let me know your thoughts, questions or concerns!