June 27th, 1894
Robert still could not figure out why Elizabeth preferred Rosalind to him. He would not act as if Rosalind wasn't her primary caretaker but it was only that way because Elizabeth refused to let him comfort her.
Was it the fact that they'd shared a bed for so long? Maybe if it were he who Elizabeth saw every morning, she would like him more.
Or maybe he should just be content with the fact that she liked him at all. Would she remember that it was he who stole her away from her father? "Rosie!" Robert smiled and looked up from his work. Elizabeth could not speak when she first came to stay with them. Rosalind would say she could barely speak now but Robert understood most of what she said. She only needed to work on the pronunciation.
He watched as Elizabeth tried in vain to get Rosalind's attention. She was entirely focused on her notes and did not seem to notice Elizabeth pulling at her skirt.
"She's a little busy, my dear." Robert said, "Come sit with me." Elizabeth smiled and came over to him. She pointed at Rosalind and said a few words before looking up at him for an answer, "She's working." he said. He knew that he should be as well but they could not both lose themselves to their research. Rosalind seemed to be able to ignore Elizabeth's cries but he could not.
He looked at Rosalind again. She tapped her pencil against her chin. She always did that when she was deep in thought. It seemed as if something was confusing her and she was not sure how to work through it. Rosalind sighed and set her journal down on the table.
"How about we take a break for lunch?" he suggested.
"We've just had breakfast." she looked at him.
"That was 7 hours ago," he said, "It's almost 1 now and I'm sure Elizabeth is hungry as well."
Rosalind looked towards the clock and frowned, "You should have said something."
"I've been trying to get your attention for the last hour." he chuckled, "Did you figure anything out?"
"Perhaps." she nodded, "The only way to know for sure is to see her do it again."
Elizabeth had not opened a tear at all in the past week. Despite both he and Rosalind's attempts, she continued as if it never happened.
"Perhaps we were too hasty in deciding the tear was caused by her," Robert suggested. He didn't believe that theory at all. He had seen what she did to the teddy bear and it wasn't too absurd to say that she caused the tear to open as well.
"No one else would have conjured all of those toys," Rosalind said. They both looked over at the remainder of the toys. They had tried to give most of them away but there weren't that many children in Columbia at the moment.
"I think we need to recreate the events for that day." Robert said, "What did the two of you do? You were with her all day." Maybe Elizabeth had been happier than usual, she always enjoyed her days with Rosalind.
"But you weren't here." Rosalind pointed out, "She had no one to play with." Most of his time with Elizabeth was spent playing with her. He found that she had endless amounts of energy and it would take hours to tire her out.
"So perhaps if she's bored?" Robert suggested.
"I believe she's always bored when she spends the day with me," Rosalind said, "I do read to her but I'm starting to believe that reading the transcript of our book is not something that interests her."
Robert chuckled again, "She'd listen to you even if you read her our shopping list."
"Whatever the case," Rosalind finally focused on him, "She was most likely not as entertained as she would be if you were here. I think we should ignore her for a moment."
"What?" Robert looked down at Elizabeth.
"You'll put her down and I'll leave for 10 minutes. If she tries to get your attention, just ignore her." Rosalind said. Robert did not like the sound of that at all.
"Where are you going?" he asked. Rosalind stood up and Elizabeth wiggled until he let her off of his lap. The young girl walked over to Rosalind and waited patiently to be acknowledged.
"Just down to Harper's." Rosalind said, "We need more milk, I'll be quick."
"She's following you." Robert pointed out. Elizabeth seemed to think that she would go wherever Rosalind went. He wasn't sure why, Rosalind hardly ever took Elizabeth out.
"Tell her to stop." Rosalind walked towards the door, "Wouldn't you like to stay with Robert?"
"No," Elizabeth said.
"That's unfortunate because you aren't coming with me," Rosalind said. Elizabeth continued to follow Rosalind as she put her notes away, "Robert." Rosalind sighed and looked his way. She was annoyed and Robert found the sight to be funny.
"I don't think she understands," he said.
"She certainly acts as if she does," Rosalind said. It was true. Elizabeth responded to almost everything he or Rosalind said, whether she listened or not was another story.
"Elizabeth, come sit with me please," Robert said. Elizabeth turned to him and whined, "Stop that." he stood up and walked over to Rosalind.
"Do you need anything else while I'm out?" Rosalind asked. Robert picked up Elizabeth again and thought for a moment.
"No," he sighed, "You'll only be gone for 10 minutes, right?"
"Right." Rosalind nodded, "I believe that's all it will take. Just focus on your reading for at least 5 minutes and document any changes you notice in the room."
"Is it really necessary?" Robert asked. Experiments for children weren't his specialty, why couldn't she be the one to do it?
"It is," Rosalind said firmly.
"I don't believe this will work." They walked down into the kitchen and Rosalind looked at him.
"When you have a theory, we'll test that." she said, "If this doesn't work, we'll try something else."
"This is just to verify that she's the one doing this." Robert said, "What do we do once we confirm that?"
"Nothing."
"Nothing?"
"What are we meant to do about it?" Rosalind asked. He hadn't thought much about that. They could only wait until she was old enough to understand what was going on before doing anything else.
Rosalind left and Elizabeth cried like she always did. It didn't take him long to calm her down this time, "She'll be back soon."
He took her back to the study and placed her on the floor. She immediately went to her pile of teddy bears and Robert sat at the desk. He could focus for at least 5 minutes. If he read Rosalind's notes, he was sure the 5 minutes would go by quickly.
She had begun to theorize about the tears almost immediately after the first one appeared. He read the first few lines and noticed that Rosalind's handwriting was quite similar to his own. it made sense that it would be but he had never really read anything she wrote. Most of her notes ended up as recordings but now as he read over the paragraph, he realized that she even abbreviated the same way he did.
"Robbie?"
He didn't lookup. Instead, he focused on Rosalind's writing. He found himself reading the word porridge over and over again but he could not focus on the context. Why was she writing about food?
"Robbie!" Elizabeth stomped her feet and Robert clenched his jaw. Was she going to cry if he didn't look up at her? He'd have to help her then. Her tears would give him another headache if he didn't.
He felt Elizabeth pushing a teddy bear into his lap. He grabbed the bear and set it on the table.
They had gotten rid of over 20 teddy bears and had left her with only 4 total. So when he felt her place several more bears onto his lap, he knew Rosalind's theory was correct.
"For you," she said. He glanced up briefly and noticed how many she had.
"Okay, you need to stop now," he said.
"For you!" she giggled and another bear appeared. She bounced happily as she picked it up, "For Rosie!"
"She'll love it." he nodded, "But please, no more."
Elizabeth laughed and looked up at him, "Hi." she waved and he sighed in relief. The teddy bears stopped appearing and he picked her up.
"How do you do that?" he asked Elizabeth responded by pulling his tie. Maybe she would be able to tell them once she learned to speak properly. He wasn't even sure if she knew that she was the one causing all of the tears. Maybe she was just happy that toys appeared when she wanted them.
"Robbie?"
"Yes?" he asked.
Elizabeth took a deep breath and began to ramble on. He wished he knew what she was saying, he was sure that she was spinning a grand tale about something. Maybe she was explaining the tears to him.
He took a seat and looked down at Rosalind's notes. Would Elizabeth have been a quiet child if she'd stayed with the Comstock's? Did she only babble so much because Rosalind did so?
He wondered how much they influenced her development. It was probably too early to find out about that. Perhaps he would ask Rosalind what she thought. Maybe they should look for versions of themselves with the contraption. Or perhaps more versions of Elizabeth.
"Robbie?" Elizabeth paused her story and looked at him. All he did was smile and she nodded before continuing.
Elizabeth did not seem to like it when he lost himself in thought. Could she tell that he wasn't listening to her?
0.o.0.o.0
It had been far longer than 10 minutes when Rosalind arrived, "Did you forget that you were meant to get milk for her lunch?" he asked. Elizabeth had grown tired and hungry 15 minutes after Rosalind had left and he'd had a hard time calming her down. They had no food to give her and he cursed himself for allowing their stock to run low. He needed to remember that it wasn't just he and Rosalind. Elizabeth could not skip meals as they could.
"I saw a tear," she said.
She did not seem to be happy about that at all, "And?" he pressed.
"Other people saw it too." Rosalind said, "In the middle of Harper's grocery, one opened to a party. People were wearing masks and it closed fairly quickly. But I don't believe it's the first."
"Why not?"
"There were only a few people who witnessed it but they said it happened before. They hadn't believed it then but now…" She rubbed her temples.
Elizabeth's tears could open anywhere it seemed. How long before Comstock noticed them and came knocking? He would want to know more and Robert was afraid of what that meant for Elizabeth.
"How was she?" Rosalind asked.
"Your theory was correct, she summoned a horde of teddy bears," Robert said. And that was after only 2 minutes of ignoring her.
"I'll prepare dinner, did she eat anything?"
"No." Robert shook his head, "We don't have anything to give her." Rosalind looked guilty for a moment before sighing.
"Why don't we go out then," she suggested.
"What?"
"To a restaurant." she clarified, "There's a small eatery that just opened." They had not yet been seen outside together with Elizabeth yet and if he was excited.
"Let me clean up a bit." He handed Elizabeth to her and rushed up the stairs. He freshened up quickly before meeting Rosalind back in the kitchen. "Alright, let's go." It wasn't until they left the house that his excitement melted away.
Rosalind decided to carry Elizabeth to the restaurant. He wasn't sure why she had made the decision to take her out anyway. She had missed lunch and he hadn't been able to put her down for a nap yet.
"We haven't had a day out since she came to stay with us." Rosalind explained, "And people are just dying to see me out with her." Rosalind had barely taken her out in the past few months. If Robert thought about it, he was sure that Rosalind never took her out.
"It's all for appearances then?" he looked around and noticed that a few people were watching them.
"I wanted to try this place before it becomes popular." Rosalind said, "Is it wrong to want you to be here too?"
"Of course not." Robert said, "This is just unexpected." He was mostly worried that Elizabeth would throw a tantrum. She had been fussy since Rosalind left and that had yet to change.
"This is what families do," Rosalind said. It was not what their family did. Robert knew his mother had not wanted to take him along to the market with her and any nights in town were reserved for just his parents.
They arrived at the restaurant and Elizabeth began to grow restless in Rosalind's arms. She wanted to be put down so that she could explore the new scenery but Rosalind did not let her go. He knew she would start crying if she did not get her way. What would Rosalind do then? He usually let her have whatever she wanted to get her to stop but Rosalind always argued with her.
It would not look good to see Rosalind arguing with a child who could barely speak. She was always worried about what people thought about her, this was a bad idea.
"Robert," Rosalind sighed, "Stop it."
"I'm nervous."
"I can tell," Rosalind said. He wondered if she could feel his emotions in the same way he could feel hers. She seemed to always know what he was thinking.
The waiter sat them down and Rosalind placed Elizabeth on her lap. He could see from Elizabeth's displeased face that she was ready to scream. "You're making her nervous," Rosalind said, "Are you always like this?"
"What do you mean?"
"We've never actually gone to a restaurant together." Rosalind pointed out, "Since you arrived, we've been working almost nonstop. I assumed I was the only one nervous about what others might think of me." She was right, they had not sat down to eat together like this at all. Not only because of his illness but because of Elizabeth.
"I don't want either of you upset." he sighed, "If Elizabeth cries, you'll get upset too."
"She won't cry." Rosalind said, "She just needs something to eat, then she'll sleep." And somehow, she was right. The waiter made sure their food arrived quickly after they ordered and Rosalind fed Elizabeth. It wasn't long after that Elizabeth dozed off.
"We should have brought the pram along," Robert said.
"Are you enjoying your meal?" Rosalind changed the subject. Even with the child in her arms, she did not want to talk about her.
"I am." Robert nodded. He was glad Rosalind had suggested dinner. It was still unlike her but he had to admit that he did not know her as well as he thought he did. He had assumed that every aspect of her would be similar to the way he thought. It had become apparent only after Elizabeth's arrival how different they actually were. And he loved it.
Different or not, Rosalind was very intriguing to him. They were matched in intelligence as far as he could tell. They both lost themselves to research easily yet Rosalind was somehow worse than he was.
She spoke more than he did but he liked that as well. He'd spent most of his life keeping to himself but it was clear that Rosalind had not done so. He imagined that she had spent a lot of time making herself heard in the male-dominated career field. He had never thought to ask her how she'd done it. He had seen the way the women who attempted to make something of themselves were treated. There had been 3 girls in his class of 28 and of those 3, only 1 had graduated with him. Not because the others weren't smart, but because the men in his class had done everything in their power to get them to quit.
"Robert?" Rosalind cleared her throat.
"Yes?" he blinked.
"Lost in thought?" she asked.
"Just a bit," he said. He didn't think he could ever be as strong as Rosalind was.
"What about?" she seemed sleepy. She always absently rubbed Elizabeth's back when she was close to falling asleep herself.
"You," he admitted. Her face grew slightly concerned and he could see her struggling to mask her feelings. "It's nothing bad." he said quickly, "I was just thinking of how different we are. It's still strange since we are meant to be the same person."
Rosalind hummed in agreement, "One day we might get to look into that." she said, "I often wonder if every other Rosalind grew up the way I did. If everything was meant to be exactly the same or if only certain accomplishments match. We've only briefly talked about it but I think it warrants further research."
"Besides that," he looked at her food and saw that she had still not touched it, "How are you feeling?" She had not cried recently. Or maybe she had just made sure that he could no longer hear her cry. The dark circles under her eyes had not yet lightened but she did not seem as sad as she had when she opened the tear. Robert still had not figured out how to care for Elizabeth as well as she did but he would not give up. Rosalind did not want to talk about it anymore. She was intent on pretending that she did not need a break.
"I… It hasn't been any easier." Rosalind admitted, "It's only been a few weeks and nothing has changed. Not really." She seemed embarrassed by that. He knew that she had not expected a change immediately but he could tell she thought it was her own fault that this issue had not been resolved yet.
"That isn't your fault." Robert reminded, "I'm at fault too." Elizabeth and her tears had provided plenty of distraction but he could not forget that he had given her his word that he would be better.
"I visited the library today," Rosalind said quietly.
"And what did you find?" She was always quick to change the subject when she grew uncomfortable.
"I went to speak to the other parents there." Rosalind said, "To ask advice."
"And?" He had attempted to read books about it but none of it had been helpful. Perhaps he should have asked other parents.
"I managed to compile most of it into notes while I had lunch." She said, "I can show them to you tomorrow."
"You had lunch?" he asked.
"Yes." Rosalind rolled her eyes, "I didn't realize that we had no food at all." He couldn't fault her for it, he hadn't realized that they had run out either.
"Right, go on." he nodded.
"I think I know how to make this easier for the both of us." she said, "If she's going to stay with us, we need to do better. She needs more structure than we've given her. You can't keep allowing her to do whatever she wants."
"I don't-" he stopped himself, "Don't you think she deserves it?"
"Children do deserve to be happy." Rosalind agreed, "Elizabeth is not the exception, but she also needs to be healthy."
"She is healthy," he said.
"You give her too much candy, you let her stay up too long, you play with her all day." Rosalind said, "All of those things are fine in moderation, but you need to understand that you are the one in charge. She doesn't listen to you because she knows that you'll let her have her way in the end if she cries enough."
"She's been through so much." Robert said, "She's not yet 2 and we're her 3rd caretakers." It was not wrong for him to want her to be as happy as possible. It was their fault that she had experienced so much pain.
"This is not meant to be an argument." Rosalind said, "But starting tomorrow we'll have to change. She needs boundaries and you need to get back to work."
"Work?"
"Yes, work." Rosalind said, "We've an entire city to monitor and keep afloat. I need you to start attending the weekly meetings and checking on the reactors with me."
"And what will we do with Elizabeth while we're working?" he asked. One of them would have to stay with her. So far it had been him, this was Rosalind's world and it needed her more than it needed him.
"She can come along to the meetings." Rosalind said, "Which is another reason she needs to learn the rules."
"And who gets to make those rules?" he asked. He had a feeling Rosalind would be too strict with her. Overly strict parents would make her miserable. Rosalind had to remember that from their own childhood.
"We both will. We'll have a chat after we get groceries in the morning." Rosalind said. She picked up her fork and began to eat.
"I can hold her while you eat," Robert suggested. He had already finished his food. He stood and took the child from Rosalind. Elizabeth woke up but didn't complain.
"How long do you think it will take for things to be normal?" Rosalind asked.
"Things haven't been normal since I arrived," Robert said. And he was willing to bet that they never would be. Not as they were before. "I don't think we'll go back to what you had before." Even if he and Elizabeth were to disappear today, things would never be the same.
"So we need a new normal," Rosalind said. There could be no more working without a schedule. Rosalind was right when she said Elizabeth needed structure but he realized that they needed that as well. Long nights and late mornings were all too common. Hours spent researching and ignoring everything else could no longer happen. Not with Elizabeth here to stay.
"Is there anything else I can do for you?" The waiter asked.
"We'll pay now," Robert said. He could tell that Rosalind was ready to leave. She had done nothing but poke at her food and she had yawned several times.
"Was it not to your liking, Madame?" the waiter asked.
"It's fine. I'm just tired," she said quietly. She paid for their food and took Elizabeth from him. It was late now and he wanted to get to bed as well. They had a lot to do in the morning and even though it was still early, he didn't want to be tired.
"We have a lot of work to do, why don't we go to bed early tonight?" Robert said. Rosalind nodded as she followed him home. He was curious to read the notes she made but it could wait until the next morning. He helped Rosalind put Elizabeth to bed before retiring to his own room. He wondered if the exhaustion that came with spending all day with Elizabeth would ever fade away. Maybe once they figured out what they should be doing it would be better.
A part of him was still nervous. What if it never became easier for them? What if his headaches never stopped? What if Rosalind was finally driven over the edge by all of it? That was the last thing he wanted. She had been doing so much for both he and Elizabeth. If he was tired, then Rosalind was twice as tired. He knew there was nothing he could do at the moment. He would have to listen to what Rosalind would say in the morning and hope that whatever she had planned was the solution they needed.
Until then, he would rest.