Welcome back guys! I hope the story is flowing well for you all. I do have a twist coming soon so stay tuned.
~Enjoy~
When I got up that next morning I decided to wear one of my blue sweaters and a pair of jeans with my tennis shoes. It was a little chilly outside but wasn't exactly cold so I thought a sweater was the best thing to wear. I was still a little unhappy about last night. Not really with the boys but rather just with Lei. I couldn't imagine how things not working out with Jing could have changed him so much. But then again, he had a reason for it. Lei didn't deal with disappointment well. I was starting to think that maybe he really needed to talk about it.
I walk to school that morning like I'm starting to do most mornings again. I forgot sometimes how great it feels to even walk when the weather is cool like this. I got there a little early so I could go to the roof to see if Lei happened to be there like he always was. I smiled when I saw him sitting on the edge of the wall. He was looking up at the sky when I walked up to him. He was definitely wearing his thinking face. The one that said there was just too much to handle yet he had to learn to handle it. The one that told me he was drowning.
[All right. I give up. What are you looking at?]
[A plane just flew by.]
He pointed at the sky. I, myself, didn't say anything. But, truth be told, he probably was really looking at a plane. One a little too far for me to see yet he could see it perfectly because he had been following it.
[Lei.]
[I thought you said you weren't dating Ah Si?]
I rolled my eyes.
[How many times do I have to tell you that I'm not? I've never agreed to such a thing. Dao has orchestrated this entire thing on his own.]
A slight millisecond of surprise showed upon his face. Then he smiled as he got down off of the wall. He stood in front of me as I got on the wall. I felt that being face-to-face with him during this conversation would be a little better suited to what we were about to talk about. To my surprise, he grinned.
[Good. Rosealine, be my girlfriend.]
I stared at him as he leaned his arms on either side of my legs, propping his hands on the wall as he did so.
[Am I not better than Ah Si?]
[Neither one of the two of you are better than the other right at this moment. So, tell me you're kidding.]
He chuckled slightly as he hung his head and then looked back up at me.
[I'm just kidding. Did you believe me? You're so cute sometimes.]
[I want you to cut it out.]
He looked away from me for a moment.
[I can't steal Ah Si's girlfriend.]
Then he looked back at me.
[He's my brother.]
I signed as I tilted my head. Something was definitely wrong.
[Lei...love bug...I can't believe you just said that to me.]
He smiled as he tilted his head in the same direction as mine.
[Are you disappointed?]
I rolled my eyes as he leaned in towards me, his nose pressed against mine as he pressed his forehead against mine as well.
[How about we secretly date behind Ah Si's back? Doesn't that sound exciting?]
My nose twitched in anger as he leaned away from me again. I was ready to twist his nose off of his face. He studied me for a minute before he spoke again.
[Did you believe it again?]
That does it.
I grabbed his nose between my pointer finger and my middle finger and squeezed as hard as I could. He whined as he pulled away from me. I crossed my arms when he finally got his nose free.
[First of all, the suggestion of a secret between any of us is absurd. Second of all, I cannot believe the way you are acting right now. I know sometimes you can be childish but this? This is beyond you. If things didn't work out the way you wanted them to with Jing, then fine. You could talk to me about that but instead you're acting out like a two-year-old. Do you want to tell me what's wrong or do I need to twist your nose off?]
He was still rubbing his nose as he looked at me.
[I think I'll pass.]
[Are you sure? Because I really think you need to talk about some things.]
The bell rang and I rolled my eyes.
[Saved by the bell. I guess I'd better go.]
I hopped down as I started to walk off. Lei called out to me when I reached the little hallway.
[Rose.]
I turned to him as I smiled.
[What Lei?]
[You're even prettier now.]
I could feel the heat rise to my cheeks as I grinned.
[Thank you, sugar cube. You look even more handsome now as well.]
It may have only lasted a millisecond but I saw the sadness come across this face. A look of regret, I think. He would eventually tell me what happened. But it would be in his own time when he was ready.
I turned back around and walked off. Hoping that if Lei was sad that he would at least find happiness until he could learn to speak to me. It was in the moment that I hit the stairs on my way down from the roof that I realized it may benefit him more than it would benefit me if I told him I remembered him.
As it turns out, Yaling was finally able to return to school. She all but pounced on me at the end of my last class.
[Rose!]
[Don't you mean, Xue?]
[Well, I figured if the boys want to call you Rose, then I should too. I am your sister after all. Or am I wrong about that?]
I giggled as we walked to lunch together.
[Okay, okay, touché. You can call me Rose. Just don't tell anybody why.]
She nodded as she grinned.
[So, is there any exciting news that I missed while I was gone, other than the crazy Yijun thing?]
I shook my head. I was definitely not going to tell her that I remembered everything. Do you know how much she would freak out right about now? Ha! Not going to happen.
[Oh, I meant to tell you yesterday. My father signed a contract with Evervine Tech. Did you have something to do with that, little Rose?]
I smiled as I looked at her as we gathered the food on our trays.
[Nope. Wasn't me. I don't own that company, remember?]
She nodded her head and she grinned.
[Okay. Fine. Don't tell me. It's your little secret.]
"Got a secret. Can you keep it? Swear this one you'll save. Better lock it in your pocket. Taking this one to the grave."
She giggled as I sang to myself.
[Okay, Missy. I understood those lyrics. Joke aside, even if it wasn't you, thank you. My father's never been this excited before. We had plans on creating self check-in login counters for hotels and businesses alike. Had the idea for the design concepts just no idea on how to program it. Evervine Tech is giving him the opportunity to develop his idea. It's an opportunity unlike any other. You're the greatest friend I've ever had.]
I shook my head as we sat down to eat.
[I love my friends differently. But you I love you like a sister. I would do absolutely anything to protect you.]
[Awe, you're doing this to protect me? How sweet of you. Too bad you're not the older sister, it'd make more sense.]
We laughed as we ate. I caught her up on some of the things that we're going on in my classes and some of the things that I genuinely wanted her to know. I told her I remembered a few things but not everything. I told her about the picture that I found in Ah Si's album, and I told her about Lei coming home. She almost didn't have time to process things before she had to bail for class. She was excited for me, though. She knew how much I loved being around Lei. Though, she did agree with me that he was acting really weird. But she reminded me that sometimes people just need time to process. That not everyone handles stress the same way and some of us are more emotional than others. Of how some people try to be strong for those around them. Even though the strength rarely lasts.
Yaling was apparently a really good person to talk to in times like this. She tends to think a little straighter than I do. She tends to be able to explain things that I simply can't. I envy her for that. Love her for it too. She was the sister I never knew I needed.
After she bailed for class, I started to head home. But to my dismay, Ah Si grabbed me as I came down the bridge and started to pull me along him.
[Can I help you, Dao?]
[Come with me.]
[For what reason?]
[Shut up.]
I raised a brow in question.
[Rude. What the hell do you want?]
[Just come on.]
He pulled me to his car and opened the passenger door, pushing me in as he did so. When he got in, I stared at him. I stared at him as he took off and I stared at him as he drove.
[Enjoying the view?]
[Not in the least.]
He looked at me and I shrugged.
[Why are you kidnapping me?]
[Why else?]
[You don't want me to answer that.]
[You're so bad sometimes. It's nothing like that. I just want to spend some time with you away from school. Is that okay with you?]
[I would have preferred to answer that question before you got to the airport.]
[Too bad.]
He parked the car and got out. He took out some luggage and opened my door.
[Are you getting out any time soon?]
[Do I have a choice?]
[No.]
I sighed as I crossed my arms and got out of the car. I then followed him into the airport. I was only worried about this sudden adventure when I noticed he picked up the pace.
[Wait a minute, Dao.]
He stopped as I grabbed a hold of the bottom of his jacket.
[You know I'm afraid of flying. Where are you taking me?]
[On a trip and you'll be fine.]
I was confused.
[A trip? Who said I wanted to go on a trip?]
He smiled as he tucked his hands into his pockets.
[You like traveling. You like adventures. You used to always love going on trips when you had free time. It's the weekend so don't have any classes any time soon. You don't have any homework as you have finished your projects early. I've brought everything you need, including your clothes and your passport.]
I tilted my head.
[I have a passport?]
He chuckled slightly.
[How easily you forget. Any other questions?]
I sighed.
[I guess not.]
[Then let's go. Everyone's waiting.]
[Everyone?]
Ah Si grabbed the luggage and started walking off again.
[Are you kidding me? Tell me you're kidding!]
I followed him as fast as I could. I knew these boys couldn't do anything by themselves but I would have thought at the very least it would have just been Dao, Meizuo, and me. But no. It was all of them and their dates. Oh, how I forgot they were old enough to have girls with them…
I tried to hide the fact that I was a nervous wreck when we got on the plane. I don't like flying. I don't quite know why either. I think the fact that I've got a fear of heights has something to do with it. So, then again, I have been told that having a fear of heights is actually more like having a fear of falling. I really don't care which one it is. I really don't want to be in this stupid plane.
I was staring out of the window with my nails grip to the armrests of the seat when Dao tapped my arm.
[Hey.]
I looked at him, brows raised in curiosity.
[I'm warning you. When we get to the island, don't run off on your own.]
I tilted my head in confusion as the tension in my hands started to loosen a little.
[Dao, I don't get it. Is where we're going really that dangerous?]
[Yes. You're a ticking time bomb. You might hurt someone.]
I rolled my eyes as I crossed my arms.
[I'm going to hurt you in a minute. Just because I'm a little angry at you doesn't mean I'll be angry at other people. Okay, so, I've hit two girls but that doesn't count.]
He smiled as he looked back at the TV in front of us.
The plane shook slightly and I returned my hands to the armrests of the seat.
[Passengers, we have come across some turbulence. For your safety, please stay in your seats and fasten your seatbelt. Thank you.]
The plane started shaking a little more and I dug my nails into the armrests.
[If you grip the armrests any harder we're going to have to pay to replace them.]
I glared at him as my voice dropped down to a harsh whisper.
[Do you have any better ideas? I don't like flying and I'm afraid of turbulence!]
I closed my eyes as I tried to pretend I was anywhere other than in a giant metal tin can, 10,000 feet in the sky. While I was trying not to have a panic attack, Dao decided to set his hand on top of mine. I looked at him as he smiled.
[It'll pass, just give it a minute.]
When the plane jolted, I grabbed a hold of his arm.
[We're all going to die.]
[Oh, come on, Rose. You know better than that. You're going to be fine.]
[When we land, I'm going to kill you.]
He chuckled as the turbulence passed. I shoved him away from me as I crossed my arms again. I didn't speak to him the rest of the plane ride.
When we got off the plane and finally got to the resort I couldn't have been happier. I was standing beside Ximen with one arm wrapped around my waist while the other one rubbed my forehead as Dao checked us in.
[Fun ride?]
[Do you have any idea how much I hate airplanes?]
[I know how much you hate heights.]
[You know what the difference between being in an airplane and being high off the ground is?]
[There really isn't much of a difference.]
[Being high off of the ground usually means I'm at least on something still stable. Being in an airplane? I'm kept in the sky by gasoline and rotating fan blades. When we go back home, somebody had better give me a Xanax.]
Ximen laughed as he took out his phone. He took his sunglasses off and leaned down towards me holding his phone up for a selfie.
[Give everybody a smile.]
I rolled my eyes as I smiled and he took the photo of us.
[Do me a favor Xi, send me all the photos you take. I'd like to have some more to hang on my walls with you guys in them.]
He nodded as he leaned down to my ear.
[Do you really remember everything?]
I looked at him as I rubbed my nose against his. He stood straight in shock and stared at me.
[Absolutely, Big Brother. Absolutely everything.]
He looked at Mezzie as he walked by laughing.
[Some things never change.]
Ximen turned to his date and Mezzie's date and told them to strike a pose so he could take a picture of them. He really only took a picture of his girl but you know, the concept was still the same.
I shook my head as I looked at Lei. His girl was already hanging all over him. I grit my teeth in anger as Dao leaned down towards me. I looked up at him.
[Can I help you?]
[Who said you can look at another man?]
[First of all, it's none of your business who I look at. Second of all, what are you, jealous again?]
[Of course, I am.]
[Then you're going to be jealous all weekend.]
I smiled as I patted his cheek and walked off. Dao followed and then led the way to our rooms. I couldn't help but grin as we walked in. It had been a long while since I'd been to a real resort. My adopted father would never let me go so the last time I'd been to a resort was the last time I went with the boys. Now that was a long time ago.
I felt like a little girl again as I ran up to the window that overlooked the sea.
[Wow. Would you look at that? It really does look like a real-life postcard. It's the most beautiful thing I've seen in a long time.]
Dao wrapped his arm around my shoulders as he looked down at me.
[You like it?]
[Oh, Dao, I love it. You know how much I love the beach.]
[This is the best room in the hotel.]
I looked up at him slightly confused.
[You really couldn't have spent more money could you have?]
[Too much?]
[You boys are so spoiled.]
I grinned as I shook my head.
[Rosie.]
[Hm?]
[This is our room.]
[Just ours?]
He smiled.
[Don't worry, we may be staying in the same room but we will be sleeping in separate beds.]
I squinted my eyes in suspicion at him.
[That's not what I was concerned with.]
[Then what are you concerned with?]
It was time to change the subject.
[Remember how I promised I'd kill you when we landed?]
[I was hoping you forgot.]
[Well, I didn't. I'd run if I were you.]
[Who's hungry?]
[Dao…]
He ran off and I chased after him. I grabbed a pillow and threw it at him before he ran out of the room. I missed but it made me feel better. I chased him all the way down to the patio. I jumped on to his back when I caught him. I waved to the other boys as he carried me to a chair and plopped me in it. I hadn't given it a thought until that moment that my boys might be stronger than me now.
I cringed slightly when my rib cage protested the plop.
[Oh, I am so sorry, Rose. I almost completely forgot about your ribs being sore.]
I smiled as I waved Dao off.
[It's fine. I'm okay. They're not as bad as they were. I just think I need to be careful.]
He nodded as he sat down beside me. We ordered drinks a short time later.
We all joked and laughed for a little while before Dao decided it would be fun to have Mezzie impress the girls.
[Meizuo.]
[Hm?]
He looked at Dao.
[Perform for us.]
He grinned as he looked at the rest of us.
[All right, listen up.]
He thought about it a moment before speaking again.
[3.1415926535897932384626]
I rolled my eyes as I looked at Mezzie.
[If quoting the entire decimal pointage of pi is what constitutes as a performance, I think I'd rather listen to a cat dying.]
Everybody kind of frowned at me pretty hard. Then Lei's date started acting cute in an obviously fake manner. She even had the balls to ask him to play the violin for her. Thank the stars he replied with how only special people got to hear him play the violin. The only thing that bothered me with that response is that he looked at me when he said it.
Mezzie nodded towards the harp in the corner.
[Give us a performance then if you think you can do better.]
I gave him a look, one that told him that that was not going to happen. But then the other girls started to chime in. They wanted to hear me play. They wanted to see what I could do. See what the infamous girl in F4 was really all about.
I sighed as I got up out of my chair and put my drink down.
[Well, I usually save these kinds of things for special occasions. But seeing as how this is a special occasion of a sort, I guess this qualifies.]
I walked over to the harp and sat on the stool behind it. I wasn't really sure I could handle the weight on my shoulder with my rib cage being tender but I hoped I could do so. I pulled the harp back and settled it on my shoulder. I was a little uncomfortable with the weight ever-so-slightly but it wasn't anything I couldn't handle. I looked at Lei for a moment. The last time the boys heard me play was on the same day we were kidnapped together. I've never really looked at my birthday the same. I've always known there was something wrong about celebrating my birthday so I never really did. Now that I remember everything, I remember why it felt wrong. I was supposed to celebrate it with this amazing group of people. The only people I think I ever really loved. Lei smiled sweetly for a change so I smiled ever-so-slightly as I looked at the rest of the boys. They were all excited and slightly nervous. If only they knew how I felt. I was so nervous that my hands were sweating. I had to rub them on my pants before putting them up to the strings. I chose Claude Debussy's Clair de Lune for tonight's song. It was one of the first pieces I learned to play on the piano so I thought it fitting when I was younger that it would be the first song I learned to play on the harp. Seeing as how this is my first performance in a long time, I kind of thought the first time for everything, kind of concept, was fitting.
I started playing and it felt like a weight had been lifted from my chest. I almost couldn't describe the light-headed feeling I had suddenly gotten. I was playing the song I was familiar with, with the people I was familiar with... and yet... I felt broken. I know it's kind of hard to understand. But I felt like I was playing for the wrong reason. I wanted to impress those around me...not play because I felt like it was the right moment. I didn't feel like I was borrowing the soul of the harp. I didn't feel like I was doing the instrument any Justice. I played half-heartedly and selfishly. I whispered an apology to the harp as I played. I only wanted to play this for the boys not for the other three. I was suddenly angry. Not at any one of them but with myself. I know better than to play the harp like this. There was no love behind it. No passion being put into it. The only reason the song sounded any good was because of the sound of the harp. It was in perfect tune yet it lacked feeling. I wasn't the only one who noticed this as the song came to an end and I tipped the harp back on its base. Everybody clapped and the boys knew something was missing. They didn't have to say it. They simply looked worried.
I wrapped an arm around my waist feigning pain as I walked over to the table.
[I'm going to go ahead and go lay down. It's been a long day and I need the rest. My ribs are starting to kill me. I'll see you guys tomorrow.]
They waved me off as the girls started to compliment me to the boys. That was the real reason I left. I didn't want to hear the fake appreciation for the poor performance I gave.
I got cleaned up and changed into a T-shirt and a pair of shorts. I had taken my contacts off and was reading a book with my glasses on as I was laying in bed when Dao came back in from taking a shower. He, himself, was in a T-shirt and a pair of shorts and he was drying his hair as he started to walk past the bed.
He stopped walking as he noticed I was staring at him. it had been a long time since I've seen his hair out of the stupid locks he was always wearing. He looked better with his hair down. But I wasn't sure if the phrase was cuter or more handsome, but I'll go with both this point. I was attracted to him...I guess that's all that really matters.
He grinned as he started walking around the bed to me.
[I know I'm attractive, but do you have to keep staring at me?]
I put my bookmark back in my book and set the book down as I looked at him.
[Who says you're attractive? You sound so full of yourself right now.]
I eased myself up to a sitting position as he sat down beside me. He didn't reply but he did smile at me, causing me to smile back at him.
[Or don't reply. Are you sleeping in the other bed over there or are you sleeping here? Because I definitely remember you saying you were sleeping in a different bed.]
He leaned closer to me as he leaned on his hand, resting it behind my back by my side.
[Can't I sit here awhile?]
I bit my lower lip as I felt the heat rising to my cheeks. His forehead rested against mine before he spoke again.
[Don't worry. I do like you, but before you like me back, I won't do anything to you. I'd never touch a woman without her consent.]
I suddenly began to regret my decision not to tell him that I remembered everything. I wasn't sure even in this moment that telling him was a good idea...but boy he was earning the regret in that decision. I don't remember Dao being so sweet. Maybe it was because I was always making him angry. I was always making him fight with his best friend after all. I'm not sure that I can keep them from doing it again. I don't know that I can choose. How can I? The four of them meant the world to me. I had long convinced myself that choosing just wasn't an option. Yet, here I am. In the same position I was in then. I am going to have to choose. But how do I do that without breaking them apart? How do I do that and not kill them all? But as I keep telling myself, one thing at a time.
Then that same feeling I had when we were back at his house when he wrapped my rib cage the first time, came bubbling up. I missed him. Wanted him. I wasn't sure I could hold back.
I placed my hand on his cheek and kissed his forehead.
[That's not something you ever have to ask for. I'll almost always give it to you.]
He scratched the back of his head as he smiled.
[You know...it's really good to have you back.]
I giggled a little.
[It's good to be back.]
He got up and walked over to the other bed and laid down. I looked at him for a moment before scratching my arm.
[Would you like to change beds? Your legs look like they dangle off the end of that one.]
[It's fine. Just say that you like me. I don't know how much longer I can wait.]
[Well, you've waited this long, what's a while longer?]
He laughed as I smiled.
[You could always sleep in this tiny bed with me.]
He patted the space beside him.
[Uh...let me think about it...no.]
He chuckled as I got comfortable again. I went back to reading my as he tucked his arms behind his head.
[Why is that we're the only two that can't stay in the same bed?]
I shrugged.
[If it makes you feel any better, Lei sleeps on the same side all night and Mezzie and Xi tend to sleep on the couch when or if they sleep.]
[You've slept with Lei?]
I sat my book down as I looked at the wall. There was no way to reply to that to make it sound like anything other than sex.
[Literally or physically?]
He sat up as he looked at me.
[Both.]
I laughed as I went back to reading.
[Rose?]
I kept quiet but continued to smile.
[Rosie.]
I was still quiet but I was smirking now.
[Rosealine!]
[For the love of pancakes, Dao.]
I put my book down again.
[LITERALLY. NOT PHYSICALLY. NOW GO TO SLEEP!]
I picked my book back up and sighed heavily. This man was getting on my nerves. We went to bed a short time later and I spent hours laying in bed awake. I finally couldn't take it anymore. If I was going to be awake, I was going to do it down by the beach. So, I got out of bed and changed into my red hoodie and my black sweatpants. For as hot as it got during the day, it sure got cold here at night. At least to me anyway.
I walked out of the room quietly and made my way down to the beach. I was surprised to see Lei sitting in the sand by the volleyball net. I liked the way this place put the lights on it. It was pretty.
I sighed as I walked over to him. Maybe now he would talk. I sat in the sand beside him as I tucked my hands into the pocket of my hoodie.
[Lei, hunny, are you about ready to talk to me?]
He leaned his head in my direction slightly. He wasn't quite ready to talk but he was listening.
[I know something is wrong. Ever since you came back from Paris, you've been completely different. I can see you're hurting, Lei. Even if you don't want to talk about it.]
I smiled as he looked at me.
[Are you worried about me?]
[When have I ever not been? Minus the time I wasn't here, but that's beside the point.]
I scratched the back of my head.
[I guess what I mean is, that I'm always worried about you. You're my best friend, it's a natural thing for me.]
He looked back at the water as I sighed.
[I'm so out of practice with this. I'm sorry, sweetie. I know things didn't work out with Jing. I can see it in your face. If you don't want to talk about it, you don't have to. I'm just trying to take things back to where they used to be where we talked about everything…]
I trailed off as he leaned against my side gently, leaning his head against my shoulder as he did so.
[LeiLei? You alright?]
He gulped slightly.
[Ten minutes. No, five minutes is enough.]
His voice was starting to tremble. He wanted to cry but for some reason wouldn't.
[I can handle it during the day, but I can't deal with it at night. Can you give me a hug, Rosie?]
I grinned as I turned to him and wrapped my arms around his neck as he rested his forehead against my neck.
[How come you haven't asked your date to hug you?]
[I don't want to be touched by a woman I don't know.]
I brought my hand to his cheek and stroked it with my thumb as closed his eyes and rested his face against my collar. I could feel his warmth through my hoodie. It was amazing how he radiated heat the way he did. It would explain how he was able to wear just a sweater out here like he was.
[I understand, Lei. Guess I'm lucky then. You know me like the back of your hand, huh?]
[Rosie.]
[Hm?]
[I found out that Jing doesn't need me.]
I placed my hand on the top of his head and stroked his hair.
[Don't force it, Lei. If you're not ready to talk, don't.]
He pulled away from me and looked at me as I sat my hands in my lap and then he nodded slightly before looking back at the water.
[Jing and I lived together in Paris for a while. I still remember the look on her face when she saw me that day. We stayed at home when we were free. We never got tired of it. It was our own little world. It was the best time of my life...except for that month you and I spent in Alaska.]
I smiled as I rubbed my hands together. I had almost forgotten about that trip. I swore it was the last time I'd go see my uncle Korven before writing to him. We were on our own that month. I was just glad that I knew how to survive that. It was the worst experience ever. I always thought Lei hated that trip. I mean, we almost froze to death. Looking back on it now though...it was kind of fun.
[But...much like that trip...it didn't last very long. She went to school during the day and interned at a law firm at night. I was alone all day without her. Eventually, she smiled less and less. She became more tired. She built a wall around her. Even if I had turned into air, I couldn't find a way in. You know how I was slightly autistic before? The first time I was falling, you took my hand and led me out of the shadows of autism. When I fell again because I thought you were dead, she was the one who led me out again. The both of you understood me like no one else. But as we got older, I never changed. I was still the child who hid in the corner. I couldn't do anything for the girl I loved, more than once. I've learned that loving someone out of habit, isn't really love at all. But it doesn't make it hurt any less.]
I smiled as he looked at me.
[I'm sorry, Rosie. It shouldn't have taken me so long to be able to talk to you about this...thank you for listening to me.]
I patted the back of his shoulder as I smiled.
[It's alright, Lei. You're welcome. Besides…]
I fiddled with the edges of my sleeves.
[I have something I need to tell you.]
He stared at me as I chewed the inside of my cheek.
[Mezzie kind of caught on instantly and then he told Xi and I haven't told Dao yet because I'm scared but I think...now's the right moment to tell you…]
I started to chew my bottom lip when Lei's hand rested on top of both of mine. I looked up at him as he smiled slightly.
[When you're ready.]
I laughed slightly as I grinned at him, and just like that, the nervousness and the fear dissipated.
[Lei…]
I placed one of my hands on top of his and held it between both of mine.
[I remember.]
He looked confused.
[Again, Dao doesn't know, but, I remember everything. I remember you boys like I never even left.]
He looked at me with surprise. He wanted to smile but couldn't. I shrugged as I sighed.
[I guess...once I have the courage to tell Dao...things can...go back to normal. Whatever normal might be for the lot of us.]
Lei continued to stare at me. I wasn't sure he could speak now.
[I guess I should go back inside now. I'm getting pretty cold.]
I shifted my legs under me so that I was sitting on my knees, but, before I could start to get up, Lei wrapped his hand around my neck and pulled my forehead to his. His eyes were closed and I could see a tear run down his cheek. I smiled slightly as I placed my hand on his cheek and wiped the tear away with my thumb. I closed my eyes for a moment and Lei moved so he could press his cheek against mine. I then moved the hand that was on that same cheek to his neck.
My voice was nothing but a whisper when next I spoke.
[I'm not going anywhere, love note of mine. It's okay. I'm right here.]
I felt him sigh. One of those deep, long, and slow kind of sighs. The one you do when you want to calm your heart from racing. One of those ones that you do when a weight has been lifted off of your chest. I wasn't even sure he knew he was doing it. I pulled away from him a little and kissed his cheek.
[Don't stay out here too long, Lei. You'll get sick.]
He nodded as I got up. I gave his shoulder a squeeze before I walked off. I was worried about him. He really didn't deal with things well. But my boys have grown up a lot since last I saw them. Maybe he really would be okay.
I was making my way to the sidewalk when an angry Dao walked up to me.
[Where did you go?]
I furrowed my brows in confusion.
[Excuse you?]
[Why weren't you picking up?]
He sounded frustrated and tired.
[I couldn't sleep so I went for a walk on the beach. Why are you yelling at me?]
I tucked my hands in the pocket of my hoodie as Meizuo and Ximen walked up to us. They looked relieved and tired.
I thought about it a moment then rolled my eyes.
[I guess I forgot my phone. I must have left on the nightstand.]
Dao shook his head.
[Idiot. You couldn't leave a note?]
I glared up at him.
[Would you like a leash to go with that collar?]
Ximen sighed.
[Alright. Don't worry. It's fine now. Don't start a fight.]
I stuck the tip of my tongue out at Ximen from between my teeth.
[If you do that again, I'll…]
[You'll what? Cuff our wrists together? Grow up.]
I walked past him and started to walk past Meizuo but he caught my wrist and spun me around. I looked up at him, slightly surprised.
[Rose...do you have any idea how worried we were? Ah Si dragged us out of bed because he thought something might have happened to you. We all did. Don't you understand why we act like this yet?]
I felt a slight pain in my chest. I knew why they were worried. Why Dao was upset with me. And I suddenly lost what strength I had. I suddenly felt like the little girl they saw me as. I looked at Ximen who, for the first time since I'd come back, looked sad. Then I looked back at Dao. He scratched the back of his head as he sighed.
[That's enough. Just forget it. Go to bed.]
Meizuo gave me a look before wrapping his arm around Ximen's neck and letting my wrist go.
[Fine. We all know who Ah Si loves more. We'll give you some privacy.]
I felt guilty as they smiled at me and walked off together. He knew I understood...but he also knew it was hard for me to accept. I don't like them thinking that I was weak and he knew that. They knew that. Yet, Dao seems to have forgotten that.
Dao walked over to me and nodded back towards the hotel.
[Why are you still standing there? Go to bed.]
I tilted my head in question as he hooked his arm around my neck and pulled me with him back to our room. He didn't say anything as he let me go and closed the door behind us. He pointed at my bed as he walked over to his. I scratched the back of my neck as I walked around and sat on the side of bed. I slid my shoes off and slid under the covers. I wasn't going to change again. I curled up in a fetal position as I closed my eyes. For the first time, in a long time, I felt small. I was short but this was a crippling feeling of guilt talking.
/\/\/\/\/\/\
We all got up late that next morning. I managed to beat the boys outside though. I was in a two piece swimsuit as I was afraid my one piece was going to hurt my ribs. Dao must have thought the same thing as he was the one who packed my clothes for me. At least he gave me the choice though and I was thankful the bottoms looked like a skirt. I think it's cuter.
I was laying on a lounge chair, eating a doughnut when they came out. Meizuo grabbed my hand as he walked past me, causing me to get up and follow him.
[Excuse you. Where do you think you're draggin me?]
[To the beach. You can tan there.]
[I'd rather not.]
[Too bad.]
[Where's Dao?]
[Getting his sunglasses and one of your sundresses.]
[Why do I need that?]
He grinned as we reached the beach and he stopped in front of the volleyball court.
[Not happening. My ribs are too sore for this.]
[You'll be fine. You're good at this, remember?]
I rolled my eyes as I shook my head.
[No. I don't.]
[Liar.]
He ruffled up my hair as he walked off. I turned around to see dao holding up a white dress with red flowers on it.
[Here.]
I took it from him and slipped it on.
[I'm going to hate you guys if I hurt myself.]
Dao smirked as he walked off. I looked at Lei as he smiled.
[Does everyone just choose to ignore the fact that my ribs are still sore.]
[Your performance was subpar last night. Now you have to make up for it.]
[You know very well that I don't like playing for other people.]
He nodded as he walked past me.
[Maybe you're just scared of being shown up by those of us who are taller.]
I turned around to him and playfully glared at him.
[You did not just insult my shortness.]
He shrugged as I crossed my arms.
[Alright. Fine. I'll play. But I'm telling you I'll be pissed if I get hurt.]
Ximen hooked his arm around my neck as he smiled.
[Don't worry little sister. We'll protect you.]
I smirked.
[We'll see about that.]
I pulled my hair up into a ponytail and walked past Lei as Ximen passed me the ball. The boys we were playing against whistled at me and flicked them off as I served.
We played until late in the evening. The boys were right though. It was fun and the only time got hurt was when I collided with Meizuo towards the end. Ouch. Let me tell you...he be boney.
We retired to the lounge chairs by the pool. I was laying between Meizuo and Lei with an arm wrapped around my waist, my hand resting on my now tender side. The other three girls joined us after shopping some time later. Dao brought us snacks and drinks as we laid there, chatting and enjoying the sun...what was left of it anyway.
[I'm still sorry about making your side sore, Rose.]
I chuckled as I sipped from my lemonade.
[I keep telling you I'm fine.]
[Somehow, I feel like you're lying to me.]
I shook my head as Dao walked over to sit beside Lei. Throwing him a bottled drink while he was at it. Lei caught it and drank from it as Dao started talking to him.
I was trying to listen when Ximen sat up randomly and started reading something on his phone.
[Teng Tangjing, exchange student in France expected to wed this year. Teng Tangjing fell in love with the son of the mayor of Paris. They are expected to get married by year-end.]
We all looked at Lei.
I scratched the back of my head when Dao spoke.
[Did you know about that?]
[Yes. It's big news in Paris.]
Ximen sat his phone down as Meizuo leaned on his arm.
[Is that why you came back?]
Lei just laid there. Staring into the distance. Meizuo leaned closer towards me in order to lean closer to Lei.
[Lei, do you not care? Jing's about to marry someone else.]
Lei shook his head as he smirked.
[Why should I care? Everything's over now.]
Dao started to say something and I cut him off.
[That's enough. Boys, drop it.]
I gave the three of them a warning look.
[I'm only going to say it once. Got it?]
Meizuo and Ximen nodded as I looked at Dao. He scratched the back of his neck and he nodded slightly.
[Good. I'm going to go eat if anyone wants to go too.]
I gave Lei a look and he nodded as he got up. The eating invite was only for Lei and the boys knew that. They wanted to talk about the Jing issue and he certainly did not. We told the girls we'd bring them something back if the others didn't come to join us soon so they stayed where they were sitting. I was thankful for that. It was bad enough that I even had to be around them. I honestly didn't want to eat with them either. I'm not much of a people person, can you tell?
Lei and I sat a small table out on the patio and ordered our drinks. We ordered our food a short time later.
[I do apologize about them, Lei. You know they're just worried about you.]
He nodded as he looked at me.
[I've been wrong about a lot. Jing helped clarify some of it while I was there and she's right. When Meizuo called and asked me to come back early to help you, she encouraged me to go. That day I called you, I was lonely. Your voice comforted me. I'm sorry that I didn't tell you things weren't going wrong then.]
I tilted my head in question as I sipped at my drink.
[Lei, listen.]
I set my drink down as I looked at him.
[Stop apologizing. It's fine. I understand. We've all changed over the last...what was it...seven years? I mean look at you guys. You're old enough and mature enough to be with a woman romantically and it not be a big deal. You guys are high enough on the social ladder to marry for convenience and it's not a big deal. Relationships come and go. We grew up together. It's only natural to gravitate between each other. You fell for Jing and it's fine. You're in pain from rejection and it's fine. What I'm not fine with, is what you're doing right now.]
He furrowed his brows in confusion.
[Lei...look me in the eye and tell me you're dealing with this.]
He leaned towards me and smirked.
[I'm dealing with this.]
I pressed my nose against his.
[Not very well.]
He looked down and hung his head so that his forehead was now leaning against mine.
[You know me too well.]
[It's my job.]
I placed my hand on his cheek and kissed his forehead as our food arrived. We talked for a while before everyone else joined us. We all laughed, drank, and chatted until we parted ways to go to our rooms. I was just about to open the door to my room when Lei placed his hand on top of mine.
I looked up at him as he took both of my hands in his.
[Do you remember our last Christmas together?]
The question caught me off guard. I remembered that Christmas day. Lei had come over early in the morning to help me cook dinner. We were dancing and having fun while we cooked. He took a moment and picked me up to set me on the island in the middle of the kitchen. I was surprised and had squealed a little which made us both laugh. He then took a necklace off his neck that I hadn't even seen because he was wearing a turtleneck and he was hiding it under it. He then slipped it over my head and he sat the object on it in my hand. I gasped as I realized it was his grandmother's ring. I started to cry. He then took my face in both of his hands as he kissed me. The only thing he said to me was to think about it. I knew what this meant. He didn't have to say it.
I smiled up at Lei as I squeezed his hands.
[I wish I did. There's still a few black spots in my memory. I'm sorry sweetie.]
I tried not to swallow real hard as I lied to him. I didn't tell Dao that I remembered Budapest so I wasn't telling Lei that I remembered that Christmas either.
He nodded slightly as he squeezed my hands back.
[It's okay, Rosie. I was just wondering.]
I nodded back at him as he walked off. Lying to him was a lot harder than I thought it would be. I went inside my room and shut the door. Dao was already asleep so I quietly showered and got ready for bed.
I wasn't sure if it was the guilt of lying to Lei or it was insomnia but I couldn't sleep again. So, once again, I put my hoodie and sweatpants on and went down to the beach. I had gone out a different direction this time so when I came up upon the volleyball court I was down by the water's edge. I wasn't surprised when I saw Lei sitting there again. My heart broke at the sight of him. His face was tucked into the crook of his elbow. I knew he was crying. I knew it was all too much for him. I scratched the back of my neck as I walked up to him. He never moved as I sat down in the sand beside him.
I leaned against him as he looked up at me.
[Are you alright?]
He nodded as a tear fell down his face.
[You don't look okay at all, sweetheart.]
I rubbed his back as he lifted his head slightly.
[I want to know too. Will I get better?]
I smiled as I looked at him.
[Of course you will.]
He looked at me again as I continued to rub his back.
[You're a very wonderful and talented person. If you were able to get better after having believed I was gone, how could you not be?]
I swallowed pretty hard as I started to cry. I'm an empath. If my boys are sad, so am I. Lei was crying, which automatically meant I was going to cry. Not to mention that it pained me to see him like this. Especially when we were supposed to be having a fun weekend. Being alone with your thoughts sucked. I knew that.
I wiped my face as I continued to cry.
[Why are you crying? I said I was okay.]
I nodded.
[You know as well as I do that this isn't voluntary. I would stop if I could.]
I smiled as I took a deep breath and tried to control myself.
[I totally forgot this was a thing.]
I sniffed as I wiped my face hard enough to qualify my hoodie as sandpaper. When I was able to stop the tears, Lei shook his head.
[Go back to your room. Don't worry about me.]
[Yeah, that's not going to happen. You know I'm not like that. I'm out here because I can't stop thinking about you. I can't help but wonder why you're so unhappy and now that I know, I can't help but feel like part of this is my fault. If I hadn't stuck my nose where it didn't belong, I never would have had to leave. I mean, Jing knows what we meant to each other and now that I'm back, she knows where this is going to go. If I had just stayed in the States none of this would have ever happened…]
I shook my head as Lei placed a hand behind me and leaned on it as placed his other hand on my cheek and rubbed his across it to wipe the tear or two away that were still falling. I looked at him and smiled.
[Rosie...This isn't your fault. Don't ever think that. We're glad you're back.]
[Are you? You've been unhappy most of the time I've been around you. I can't help but wonder why you can't be happier…]
[Rosie...There's just been a lot on my mind since you've come back. That's all. I'm very happy you're here. I thought you knew that.]
[I take it that last Christmas day is something you've been thinking about?]
He narrowed his eyes at me for a moment and then nodded.
I sighed as I closed my eyes.
[I remember part of it...it's probably the only part you care about...but I remember what happened in the kitchen…I haven't had enough time to think about it...I haven't even had time to think about what happened in Budapest let alone that…]
[You remember Budapest?]
I nodded.
[And yes, I remember the big fight with you and Dao too...You know, it's funny...I always thought that by not making a decision, things would eventually calm down. I'm only just now realizing that that was a decision in and of itself...and I guess it was the wrong one...I really don't know what to do about you boys...but I loved you even when I didn't know you. I've been wondering if that was…]
Lei cut me off by kissing my nose.
I looked at him as he smiled a little.
[I've been wondering if you really are the Rosie I love. I've been wondering if you weren't, why you couldn't be her...but now...I know. You really are my little Rose...all grown up. You have no idea how much I've missed you.]
[I highly doubt that. You guys thought I was dead.]
[You're not. How do I make you believe me?]
He kissed me and I melted. His kiss was just as warm as he was. I couldn't help but kiss him back. I missed him. Wanted him. Over and over again he started to kiss me a little bit harder and when he deepened the kiss, I realized that he tasted a lot like a sweet lemon candy. I was blushing when we parted ways. I wasn't embarrassed but I was now feeling a little flushed from the warmth.
When Lei turned to look behind him, I followed his gaze and was surprised to find Dao there, glaring at Lei. Lei stood suddenly like a deer caught in headlights.
[Ah Si.]
Dao walked towards us as I stood and before I could blink, he hooked Lei hard enough that Lei fell to the ground, lip split and bleeding.
I stared at Lei in shock for a moment and then turned to Dao who was already glaring at me.
[Are you crazy?! What'd you hit him for?!]
He rolled his eyes as he started to walk away. I grabbed his wrist and he stood there a moment.
[Dao, seriously, explain this.]
He scoffed.
[Everything's clear now. There's nothing to talk about.]
[Dao, please. I don't understand.]
[Nothing's changed. You can't decide now like you couldn't decide then. I'm done.]
[Dao, wait.]
I tried to keep him from walking away but yanked his wrist from me in one heartbreaking pull.
[Don't touch me!]
I felt a pain in my chest as he stared at me. Tears welling up in my eyes again.
[Evervine Rosealine, ever since we were little, from the very beginning, I've liked you and only you. I grieved you until the day I saw you again and I never moved on. And him? He did. He decided to leave your memory in the past where I couldn't let you go. Only you, Rose. And what about you?]
I knew where this was going. He was tired. He wanted to force my hand. Make me choose. But I couldn't. I never could. I still don't know how.
[Dao, please…]
I couldn't hold my tears back anymore.
[Don't say it. Don't shut me out. Not like this.]
[Let's pretend we don't know each other.]
I wrapped an arm around my waist as I covered my mouth so I wouldn't sob. He wasn't playing. He was serious. And it broke me.
Dao looked at Lei before he turned around and started to leave.
[Ah Si. This isn't fair to Rosie.]
Dao stopped and balled his hands into fists.
[You have no right to talk to me. None of this is fair.]
Dao left and broke down.
[I'm sorry, Rosie…]
I took a deep breath as I shook my head.
[I don't know why I keep thinking I can just go back to the way things were...it's so very clear that I can't…]
I sniffed as I tried to stop crying. I walked off as well and wound up sleeping on a lounge chair by the pool. Sleep came and went. I eventually went back to my room to find that Dao had already gone. I changed clothes when it was time to leave and I packed my stuff up and headed down to the lobby. I wore my sunglasses so the boys couldn't tell I had been crying. I was standing beside Lei when Meizuo sat on his luggage bag.
[I can't believe Ah Si left without us. Wasn't everything fine yesterday?]
Meizuo turned to Ximen.
[Something must have happened.]
He then turned to Lei.
[Lei, did you see Ah Si?]
[No.]
Ximen sighed.
[We'll ask him when we get back. Let's go.]
We left the resort and headed to the airport. Meizuo grabbed my wrist as I walked by him to go to my seat.
[Are you going to be okay by yourself?]
I nodded and he squeezed my wrist.
[Rose.]
[I'll be fine, Mezzie.]
I smiled as he sighed and let go. I lied. The plane ride sucked. I was terrified the whole ride back. I practically ran off of the plane when we landed. I went home without waiting on the boys. It was late and all I wanted to do was to go home. But this time, I went to my old house. It was surprisingly in Meizuo's name but it was my home nonetheless. I unlocked the door and stepped inside. Once the door was closed and locked, I headed up to my old room. I could tell that Mezzie had the place looked after. It was clean and spotless. Everything was where I had left it. I took the time to dye my hair red. The color wouldn't last long as blond hair doesn't hold color well. But it made me feel better.
Then I opened the box that was left on my bed. It held what Jing had said she would send me. It was her album and flash drive. I plugged the flash drive into my old computer once it was on. The only thing on it was a video, so I played it.
It was me.
[Hey there, Rose. If you're watching this, then my assumption of Mr. Lee is correct. He's sent you home and you've remembered everything, give or take. Listen. The choice you've made to leave and never come back has backfired if you're watching it. You've met Her. She knows you're alive and is using it against you. She will force your hand in order to take everything from you. The only way the Black Lotus would let my boys go was to leave. Mr. Lee chose to take my memory from me instead of my life. I'm the reason his daughter is dead. I wouldn't blame him if one day he decided his decision was a mistake. I have chosen to trade my life for theirs. If you're watching this, then you'll have to find a way to bury the Black Lotus. She runs them. Is them. They are everywhere. Our boys will do everything to protect us. So we have to cut them off. If you find a way to save them and do what needs to be done, then I applaud you. You're stronger than I am. I couldn't decide who I loved more when I needed them all. I am broken. I am nothing. But here's to hoping that you are nothing like me.]
She paused for a moment as she held up four folders with each of the boys names on them.
[These are the marriage contracts for each of them. All signed and ready to go. All they need is your signature. You are going to have to choose. You have to stop living in the past. They love you. If you choose one over the others the others will forgive you. I'll leave these in the place where it all began. I'm using the herb Mr. Lee will use on me later in order to hide the memory of the location of these for when you're ready. Each choice has a consequence. I'm a coward. I don't believe in love with a single person. I can't. I don't know how when I'm surrounded by everything I love. People change and I hope you've changed.]
She held up another flash drive.
[This holds everything you need to bring down the Black Lotus. You can thank Mr. Lee, Meizuo, and Ximen for this. I found it too late to do anything with it. But I'm hoping you can. I've taken the memory of who and what the Black Lotus is from the boys. They don't need that haunting them when they get told I've passed away. You know what you must do. Fight with and for our boys. They need us. They need you. My time here is up. I'm leaving this with Jing for just in case. Promise me you'll make them realize that fighting over you isn't worth it. You are who you are and that will never change. You love LeiLei and Dao, you're falling for Mezzie, and you adore Xi and don't know why. You love them all. You are just confused on who you might be in love with. Push them. Break them. They will show you their truth. You know who to choose. You just don't know that yet.]
She smiled as she set the folders in her lap.
[Please, Rosealine. No matter what happens. Don't let them fall apart. Don't let them push you away. This is my mistake. Don't make it again.]
With that she turned the camera off and the video ended. The old me was right. Dao could push me away if he wanted to but I would refuse to let him.
I changed clothes and called his butler.
[Where is he?]
A short time later I walked into the racquetball courts. Dao's butler was standing there watching Dao wear himself out. It was 3:00am would have thought he'd be tired by now. But he was angry and I understood.
[He's been here all day.]
I shook my head.
[Call his sister. She's the only one who can help me fix this mess I've gotten us into.]
He smiled.
[Just like old times, Ms. Evervine.]
[Rose, please.]
He bowed slightly as he pulled his phone out of his pocket. He stepped away as I knocked on the glass door. Dao looked at me and rolled his eyes.
[Go away.]
[You can be angry with me all you want, Dao. The fact is the other boys have been told and I was waiting on the right moment to tell you.]
He glared at me as I tucked my hands into my pants pockets.
[I remember everything. I do still have a few black spots here and there but I remember everything else. That includes Budapest, my last Christmas with you guys, the random trip with Meizuo to Paris, and that very unwanted trip to Beijing with Ximen.]
He glared at the floor.
[What's your point?]
[Are you serious? What's my point? Daoming Si, I have grown up and fallen in love with four of the most beautiful and wonderful men I have ever known. Each one of you completes me in ways I can't even explain. My point? How do you expect me to choose between the only people I've ever considered family. You want to force my choice now? Then I choose myself.]
He looked up at me a little less pissed then he was a moment ago.
[You have no right to be angry with me for indulging myself. You've no idea the hell I've been through to get here. And you want to just pretend we don't know each other...fine. No more past, no more present, no more future. Whatever that may have been. You want a fight, Daoming Si? You have a war.]
I walked off and I heard his racket hit the floor. Knowing him, he probably threw it. The only way to get through to him was to piss him off past his breaking point. And I knew how to do it.
~End of Episode 8~
And thus the destruction of The Black Lotus Group has been set in motion. But I wonder what happened on that trip to Beijing with Ximen...hmmmm...
Who do you think Rose should be with?
Why do you think Ah Si is so upset? What aren't they telling us?
~Leave some love~