Michael bites the inside of his cheek to keep himself from saying something he shouldn't. He has to mind his words, he reminds himself. Right now, it isn't about only himself and Dean. There is Adam to think about. Michael can't cause any more harm to the young man than he already did though unintentionally.
"Adam's jacket was on the sofa. The rest of that suit was in the bedroom thrown over a chair. Adam was sleeping next to you wearing your clothes. I see that, think to look into the suit's pockets to find this card, find your bank bills in the joined email account we had just to see the steady money flow there and you expect me to believe the shit show you made this morning? Please, Michael. You were just afraid you would turn out to be as faulty as I am in what happened. You were calling for escorts months before you found out about Cas. And Adam, whatever bullshit the kid got involved in, he will have to clean it up too. He will explain this card. He will explain that old man. Whatever you two got going on behind my back will be out soon. And you know what Michael? I won't let you mess with that kid just because you hate me now."
Michael takes a slow breath and squeezes his fist not even caring his nails digging into his flesh. As he listens looking right into Dean's green eyes he once loved, he can't see the vibrant color of grass with spring dew that used to give him a fresh breath each time he drank in the sight of it. Instead now, he is chilled to the bone as if he is faced with a venomous snake. He is suddenly overcome with the urge to draw his hand back as far as it goes and deliver the strongest slap he can manage. Even with his phobia, his forgets to be surprised at himself with the anger he feels now.
Adam wakes up when the doorbell rings. He hears Benny's voice as the man instructs the delivery man on the door and asks if there's everything he wanted in the packages. The conversation ends shortly after having gone mostly one sided except of the few confirmations now and then.
Adam sits up and stretches on the bed when Benny softly shuts the door. The nap did him good, he older man asked Adam to rest as he called for dinner from his diner and cleared out the other bedroom for him. Now though, it must have been quite some time, Adam guesses looking at the darker shadows occupying the room. With a small yawn, he gets up and pulls on sweatpants under the oversize t-shirt borrowed from Benny's wardrobe then he walks into the ensuite bathroom to freshen up. Soon, he hears the door being slowly opened without so much of a knock in the familiarity between him and Benny. "I'm up. I'll be downstairs in a minute." He calls out and hears Benny chuckling at the yawn at the end of the sentence. Even after today and the last few before it, Adam smiles to himself at the happy sound. At this moment, he forgets about his troubles and finds he wants to enjoy this while it lasts. He will need lots of courage and strength later. He can't be grateful enough to Benny for making him feel safe.
Michael throws himself on the sofa with a can of beer from the fridge. Tonight, he probably will need this to calm down a little. He wants to punch something, break something, pull his own hair when he keeps thinking about how he had to stay silent as Dean spurted out all those ridiculous ideas of his.
He remembers his childhood. He remembers the highschool days when he and Dean would sit side by side at the classes and hold hands under the desk. He remembers their prom night when they were wearing matching suits and having the time of their lives. He remembers college. Dean had stayed at the state just because Michael too couldn't leave. They wanted to be together that much. He remembers their study sessions before finals week, their hours long strolls in the narrowest, most vintage streets looking for bookstores with second hand college course packs and their celebrations consisting of too much pie for their own good after they passed classes. He remembers the unbelieving look Dean had in his eyes right after Michael whispered in his ear under the starry sky. He remembers the happy tears, the way Dean hid his face in Michael's neck and pulled the coat they were sharing tighter around them. He had kissed each of those tears away that night. Neither of them had noticed the absence of a ring box. They had picked their rings out days later with their hearts about to burst from glee. Michael remembers how he would wake up at night, look at Dean's sleeping face and think this much happiness was unreal.
And in the end, it was. Unreal that is. With what happened just a few minutes prior, Michael is sure of that now. What they had was- Well, Michael was in love. He curses his own heart for still aching, still hurting him. Because he is now sure that Dean never loved him. At least he never loved Michael like he loved Dean. And that fact is the most insulting out of everything. He now notices how blind he was. Not only that but also how childish he was acting till just a few weeks ago… Always being optimistic, always coming up with explanations for every little thing before doubt could settle in him… He did this to himself.
Maybe they will have pets in the future. Maybe kids even. Whenever Michael tells him about these things, Dean always tilts his eyes down to his lap and bites his lip. Michael chuckles again. How pretty prettier Dean gets when he is embarrassed. How Dean couldn't face him when Michael talked about a future together...
"-not now. I can't, okay? Not yet-" Michael stops just inside the threshold of the living room. Dean is on the phone, whisper-shouting at someone. "-I will. We will. Look, I am hanging up." Michael walks forward after that. Probably work. Those men really, the car owners don't know any etiquette. Owning classic cars doesn't make them noblemen. Who would even call at this hour anyway? How Dean had to try hard to keep Michael from hearing it and getting stressed tonight when they are supposed to have fun together without any worries … How Dean was openly having those calls from that Castiel right in front of Michael…
In the end, Michael did this to himself. It was obvious. Everything was so obvious. Yet he was so alone, so hungry for love and a normal family life that he ignored everything telling him what was happening. He was like a child indeed. He kept his head down and simply played house. Some would say he even deserved what happened. He should have been more careful. He should have been more clever. He should have realised that Dean was going to hurt him. He should have saved himself. He should have-
Adam was trying to tell him that day.
Adam.
How is Michael even going to tell him what Dean said just now?
"The break was too short this time, huh cher?" Benny keeps laughing at the faces Adam makes reading all the emails from professeurs. Adam takes a second to scowl at him but can't keep the expression on his face for long. He never can stop himself from smiling when Benny is like this. Laughing all out and calling him cher. He only does that when he is cheerful, Adam knows. And it's so nice to hear that word. It makes him happy too.
"It was ten days. Ten freaking days. After all the shitty projects, assignments and exams they give us just ten days to recover. Like what am I? In the military, or something?" He too laughs and picks up carrots from his plate to pass to Benny's. The man gives him a scolding tilt of head as he always does whenever he sees Adam doing something like this.
"Honestly, what are you gonna do when you are a big doctor? Pick out carrots and onions in front of other doctors and nurses too? A doctor, surgeon maybe, afraid of carrots?-" Benny shakes his head just for dramatic effect but takes Adam's carrots and puts them into his own mouth anyway. Adam is probably giggling like a toddler now. The thought gives him another idea. And two seconds later, there is a huge stain of curry sauce from the spoon–that Adam certainly didn't tilt knowingly–spreads to the front of the t-shirt he chose for himself before his nap. "-That one was one of my favorites. I wore it to feel better. It looked so good on me." Benny has a somewhat mourning look on his face as he says the last part.
Adam doesn't even try to stop himself. He snorts. "From now on, it shall look good on the floor as it proudly serves in the position of a mop." Benny lifts his gaze up to Adam's eyes with a raised brow. Adam stops biting the inside of his cheek. Soon they are both laughing at nothing and trying to finish dinner.
Michael runs a hand through his hair. He just thought to notify Ellen about the session he already missed today. The woman asked if he was okay then simply gave him a new appointment.
To be honest, Michael doesn't know if he is okay or not. He keeps turning everything in his head. He glances at the coffee table to see the businesscard innocently resting there as if it isn't the cause of what Dean did.
And Dean, he probably jotted down everything on it. Michael can see him going there to look for Adam. He doesn't know his half brother quitted the job. Good. At least that's good. For a minute, he contemplates if he should call but then again, he is still technically banned. His numbers were blocked too. Yet he doesn't worry too much about it. Adam isn't at that penthouse. And the place has an excellent security system. It probably won't be a problem. After that, Dean will come back here to mess with him again if he doesn't lose interest till then.
Michael takes a small sip of beer and reaches for the remote. He should try to distract himself too. Nothing will happen. Dean won't find Adam. He won't hurt Adam. He can't do anything. Adam is safe with Benny now. They are probably sleeping in each other's warmth right now. Michael still doesn't understand the relationship there but doesn't question it too. Benny is good. In general and for Adam. And that's all that matters.
A breeze fills the living room through the window he opened an hour ago because the flat was suffocating him. He shivers a little. As the TV blanket finds its place around his shoulders, Michael asks himself if it will always be like this from now on. A chilly flat, a can of beer and TV. Is this his life now?
Well, at least he knows Adam is fine. As long as he is with Benny-
"To the agency? Adam are you thinking to-" Adam interrupts Benny before the man has a chance to finish. Because it really isn't like that. It isn't. He doesn't want to apply and start at the agency again. It's just, he was listening to what Benny and Michael did to find him once again and he found he owes his old boss and friends at the agency a thanks. He misses Kevin too. He will go talk to Crowley, thank him for what he did then maybe sit around to chat with Kevin and a few others. It's no doubt they have all seen the news. They all know Adam turned from a fatal mistake. They are the only people on Earth who wouldn't judge him, other than Benny and Michael that is.
"I want to see my friends, personally thank Crowley and just hang out for an hour, you know? Benny… everyone there has a past full of mistakes. They- Well, one was a drug addict before, another had a child taken by CPS, another was an alcoholic… You couldn't believe what stories I heard there everyday for the life of you. But they are all good people Benny. It's like- They will understand. They have gone through all kinds of shit. I- I need that, Benny. You are here and I appreciate everything you do for me. Hell, if it wasn't for you I would have given up a long time ago. Just-"
This time, it's Benny who interrupts. He puts a hand on Adam's and leans a little closer with the gentlest smile he can manage. "I understand. You know I do. Brother, it's the least you deserve, to see people who know what you have gone through and want to support you. We can pick up burgers on the way back, huh? A movie, late night food?"
Adam pulls Benny into a brief hug before rushing upstairs to change into something that actually fits him from the dresser drawer Benny reserved for stuff he left here. Benny watches him sprint up on the staircase before turning on his heels to look for his car keys.
Nearly forty-five minutes later, they make it to the agency.
In front of the door, just as they are about to enter, his phone vibrates in his pocket. Adam is actually surprised to see the new text from Kevin. He taps on the blurry picture on the screen.
He freezes where he stands and barely registers the next bubble that pops up under the picture.
Says he's your brother. Looking for you.