A/N: Thanks for the latest reviews. Someone did mention that it seemed only Ophelia was attacking Serenity without the rest of Boyd's crew, but it did clearly say that James and Adam walked in, each dragging a body behind them - the other guys had been outside the ship as Ophelia's back-up and a fight had ensued there. Just to clear that up ;) Now, time to get some memories back!

(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)

Chapter 10 - When Did All The Crazy Happen?

Kaylee woke to a shifting in the bed besides her, which gave her some cause for concern. The worry went away, to be replaced by confusion when she blinked her eyes open and realised who had now gotten as far as standing at the foot of the bed.

"Simon?" she checked. "What's goin' on?"

"Kaylee," he said breathlessly, looking like a startled animal in the headlights of an oncoming vehicle. "I, uh... I don't know what to say."

Kaylee sat up and tried to get a better look at him, amused to find he was half in and half out of his pants yet. She also noticed he was staring pretty hard at some place lower than her face, and then blushing profusely as he turned away. She glanced down then pulled the covers up over her naked chest and giggled.

It took a minute for her brain to unscramble everything. The first thing she recalled when she woke was sitting around the table in the galley, drinking some real strong moonshine that Captain Boyd gave them all after a job well done. Kaylee thought that was why she felt so tired, but this was like no hangover she ever had before. Now, looking at Simon, a whole bunch of new memories came rushing to the surface, jostling for space among all the others.

"Oh my... we got married," she said, looking down at the ring on her hand with a feeling of delight as well as shock.

"Yes, I know." Simon nodded, now fully in his pants but little else, arms folding awkwardly across his chest as he snuck a peek at Kaylee again.

He seemed to sigh with relief that she was now covered up, but on thinking about what they had been getting up to last night, not to mention much of today, she wondered how he could ever be so bashful. Besides, like they just agreed, they was married now. What harm did it do for him to see all she had?

"The only explanation I can come up with," Simon continued then, "is that the alcohol we consumed had some additional component, something that caused us all to lose our memories until..."

"Until?" Kaylee checked.

Simon cleared his throat and pushed his hair back from his forehead, holding it there.

"Until such time as our bodies metabolised the substance, which of course is something that varies from person to person, and is also dependent on the intake of further food and drink, as well as... as level of physical activity," he said, going beet red.

Kaylee put one hand over her mouth trying to hold in further laughter, though she found it virtually impossible. Seeing how uncomfortable she was making Simon certainly sobered her up fast, but there was no way she was feeling bad about anything that had happened here, not one bit.

"So, you're sayin'," she said as she hopped out of bed, holding the covers around her yet, for her new husband's sake, "that we sorta sweated out the booze?"

"In basic terms, I suppose, yes." Simon nodded, visibly swallowing hard as she stood before him. "Kaylee, you have to know that... that I wouldn't ever have... That is to say, you and I, what we did..."

"We got married," she repeated, showing him the ring. "I wanted to, and you wanted to, right?"

"I did," he agreed.

"Then what's the problem here?" she asked, putting on her best smile that just came so easy right now. "Simon, I know this happened in kind of a crazy way, but I got no regrets."

When he looked away, she felt her heart break a little.

"Oh, but you do. You wish you could take it back-"

"No," he told her fast, grabbing her arm when she moved to turn away from him. "Kaylee, no, I don't regret being with you," he said sincerely. "Not in any way, I promise. I just... It shouldn't have been like this, under the influence. It's not..."

"Proper?" she asked, smirking yet. "You're real attached to that word, Doctor Tam."

Simon smiled, pulling her close in his arms. "I'm actually very attached to you, Mrs Tam," he told her, unable to keep from grinning or resist the urge to kiss her any longer, so he didn't.

After all, they were married, and if neither of them had any regrets, despite the circumstances that brought them to this point, it seemed foolish not to enjoy it.

"Hmm," Kaylee hummed happily as she pulled out of Simon's arms a little. "I ain't sayin' this ain't fun and all," she admitted, biting her lip to keep from laughing when she noted her sheet had dropped by now and she was completely natural before her husband, "but don't you think we should put on some clothes and maybe check on everybody else? Last I saw, Cap'n and Zoe thought they was wed too."

"Ah, yes," said Simon as he recalled she was right, though it was awfully difficult to concentrate when she was standing so close in such a state of undress. "I suppose we should check in with everyone else."

Kaylee nodded that he was right then turned around to reach for her clothes to get dressed. She physically jumped, almost a mile in the air it seemed, when Simon suddenly cursed loudly.

"Simon, what's the matter?" she asked, spinning back to face him.

"M-My sister," he stammered out, "and... and Jayne?!"

"C'mon now, mei mei," the captain urged his supposed daughter. "Now, you wanted us all to come gather here and we did. Now I want that explanation on what is goin' on, if you got one to give."

"She does." River nodded dutifully as she stood before them. "Here in this room, the crime was perpetrated," she explained, hands resting on the end of the galley table, around which the others sat - Captain, Zoe, Wash, Inara, and Jayne.

Four were still confused yet, but the last of them was looking as shifty as anything. River had meant for him to be stood up with her to explain, but it wasn't his way to be brave in all situations. Gun battles, knife fights, anything with weapons or even hand-to-hand combat was Jayne Cobb's speciality. He struggled with feelings, with people.

"Brooke?"

She startled at the sound of her alternate name, sure she would miss it when it was gone, much as she missed so many other things that were long gone from her life and her muddled mind. Shaking herself from the daze brought on by thoughts of the man that had once been her enemy and was lately her lover, she looked back to the captain and took a deep breath.

"She knew," River confessed then. "Not when they woke all together, but she knew before," she tried to explain, knowing she was making a poor showing when several confused faces continued to stare back at her. "Fermented vegetable drinks, affects the brain," she tried again, one hand by her head, fingers wiggling in a gesture to represent the muddling of the mind.

Frowning hard, the captain looked to Zoe. "You remember bein' drunk?"

"No, sir," she replied immediately, then looked thoughtful. "Well, maybe a little," she admitted then.

"That gorram moonshine them hwun-dahns gave us after the poker game!" Jayne suddenly exclaimed, slamming his hand on the table. "They did all o' this, tried to take the gorram ship out from under us, Mal."

"Mal?" the captain echoed, shaking his head. "I'm not..."

"Yes, you are," River assured him, her hand on his shoulder. "Captain Malcolm Reynolds," she explained, nodding her head to confirm the truth of the words she spoke. "Head of the family, but not father," she added sadly.

"Not father?" he checked.

"Nor husband," Zoe added in. "Least, I'm pretty sure on that," she told him, eyes straying to the pilot who was holding a rag to the wound on his head yet.

"Zoe Washburne," River said, catching all their attention. "Marriage bands tie her to Hoban Washburne. Wash," she explained. "Captain was married once. She was a liar."

"Still is by all accounts," Jayne chipped in, finally getting off his pigu and coming to stand by River as he picked up her explanation. "She might be somethin' to look at, but the little guay toh guay nown ain't worth the trouble she brings, that's for sure. Knot on Wash's head oughta prove that."

"Ophelia?" he checked, shaking his head and immediately wishing he hadn't moved in such a way.

"Red as her hair once, as Mrs Reynolds," River told them all. "Saffron."

"Saffron?" Mal echoed, mind seeming to unscramble the more information was supplied to it. "Zoe and... Wash. Inara, and... Jayne?" he said, looking around the faces of his crew.

River giggled. "Adam was a good name, but yes, man is named Jayne," she said, looking up at him.

"And she ain't Brooke like you thought either," he said of her, refusing to meet her eyes but looking to Mal instead. "Real name's River. Course the doc is her brother and all, that part we got right."

"Did we at least guess his name correctly?" asked Inara curiously.

"We did," Simon told them all as he emerged from the corridor, pulling Kaylee along by her hand behind him. "I see we're not the only ones to have recovered some memories."

"Things are startin' to unravel a bit," Mal agreed, nodding his head. "Gao yang jong duh goo yang!" he exclaimed then at the sight of the young couples adjoined hands. "I married the two o' you to each other."

"Yes, Cap'n, you did that." Kaylee giggled. "And before you go on thinkin' you did wrong, don't," she insisted. "We got no regrets here."

"Got one or two myself," said Zoe, shifting her seat away from Mal's own and more towards her real husband.

Certainly, it showed on her face that she felt better about her actual marriage then her imagined one, which made Wash smile at the very least. River saw it all, inside of their minds, places she usually would never look on purpose, but now it seemed she might without a problem. Zoe and Wash had been craving the company of each other so much, now at least they were free to act on their feelings. The captain seemed equally relieved to know Zoe was only his crew-mate, not his mate for life. As for Inara, she was quiet and regal as ever, but she was relieved on the inside. Glad as Mal to know he was unattached, River was certain.

"The liquor we was dosed with," said the captain then, shaking his head some. "Why'd Boyd even-"

"For his wife," River explained. "Tried to take our home once before."

"Someone tried to take Serenity again?" asked Kaylee, scandalised by the very idea. "But we stopped 'em, right?"

"Same little jien huo who tried to take it before, just like the little woman said," Jayne explained, hiking his thumb in River's general direction. "Captain's wife went and made herself a bride all over again."

"Saffron?" Kaylee gasped, wide-eyed.

"She's aboard ship?" asked Simon, looking to Mal to explanation, but he didn't seem to have one to give.

River huffed out a tired sigh. As the only one that seemed to know everything, as usual, it seemed she was going to have to get everyone up to speed before she even got a chance to unravel what had happened between her and Jayne.

"Always so much to accomplish," she complained, before starting all over again from the top.

To Be Continued...