Posting early so I don't have to worry about it on Christmas day. Wishing all my lovely readers happy holidays :)

Content Warning: The following chapter features a character exhibiting symptoms of Generalised Anxiety Disorder. This includes thought spirals, emotional outbursts, and panic attacks. Also please refer to the end author's note for additional content warnings about the rest of the story. (They will be clearly marked if you want to avoid spoilers.)

Updated 24 December 2020. Item added to the content warning list.

Updated 26 December 2020. Item added to the content warning list.

The Magic Awakens

Chapter 12

The Student Council Debate

"I can't do this, Link. I really can't. I'm going to make a fool of myself in front of the whole school!"

Zelda stood in the wings of the school stage. White-knuckled hands pressed a binder against her tight chest. Rapid breath. An endless spiral of anxieties exacerbated by insomnia. Not enough practice. Not enough preparation. Not enough effort put into making herself look presentable. She'd seen herself in the mirror that morning. It was horrid! Puffy panda eyes. Ghostly pale skin. Even a bad hair day. Who would vote to have a corpse look-a-like for student council president?

Link gripped her shoulders. "Zel, you need to breath. C'mon." He led her through the exercise. In, two, three, four. Out, two, three, four. After five cycles, Zelda had calmed down just enough to stop trembling. "You'll do fine, okay? There's a reason why you have the Triforce of Wisdom."

"Like that'll help me!" Zelda shrieked. "And even if it could, that would make me a fraud. Oh gods, what if I am a fraud? I'm nothing like what my election poster says. Maybe I should just quit-"

"Zelda!" He shook her firmly. "You're smart and driven. People like you. You'll do great."

She tried to heed his words, really tried, but her mind kept feeding her new anxieties. "I bet you want Midna to win," she mumbled.

He shook his head. "I'll always root for you before anyone else, okay?" No response. "Okay?"

"Okay," Zelda relented.

Link smiled. "Good."

"Mr Harkinian." Principal Rauru poked his head around curtain. "I appreciate the moral support, but it's high time you took your seat."

"Yes, sir." Link squeezed Zelda's shoulder one last time as he passed. "Good luck." Zelda smiled weakly as he slipped backstage and jogged towards the exit. Now it was just her and- Wait, where were Groose and Midna?

An unwelcome arm slumped around her shoulders. "Hey, sweetheart," said Groose, his breath nudging the hair around her ear. "Ready to see what a real leader looks like?"

She shrugged him away. "I really don't have the patience for bullshit today."

He did a double-take. "Bullshit? Since when did you cuss?"

She was about to say "I don't" when it dawned on her. The word had slipped out without her realising. Oh no, what other foul language could slip out while onstage? It would be terribly undignified! And just like that, she was swept away by another spiral.

Principal Rauru cleared his throat into the microphone and the chattering student body quelled. "Good morning, students. Welcome to the 2020 Student Council Debate. In just under three weeks, we will be voting for this year's president. To ensure that the voices of our voters are heard, our candidates will be having civil discussion about various topics posed by the student body."

Did Zelda even know what her peers wanted her to address? Sure, she had gone around the school, striking up conversations with them and jotting down their grievances, but Midna had a suggestion box. People were always more honest under anonymity, right? Right?

Hold on. Midna was still missing. It wasn't like her to be late for anything. Did something happen to her that Link didn't share?

"Let us welcome our esteemed candidates to the stage. Firstly, Groose Bardoe." Groose strutted onstage as if he had earned his position through accolades rather than his father's generous donations to the school. He took the podium in the middle, Zelda's podium, rather than the one furthest like he was assigned. Mr Rauru gave him an odd look but moved on. He garbled something into the microphone. Her spiral of woe drowned him out. Rauru glanced at her. "Ms Harkinian?"

Her head snapped up. "Hmm?"

"Would you please come to the stage?"

"Oh. My apologies." Zelda shuffled into the open. Thousands of eyes followed her. She tripped. Her binder smacked against the floor. Snickers echoed throughout the crowd. Zelda flushed, snatched up her binder, and slapped it against the nearest podium. Midna's podium. Oops. It reached her upper chest, comically large for her tiny frame.

Glancing between Groose and the empty podium, Zelda started to feel better about the debate ahead. With her strongest rival missing, she only needed to outperform Groose. An easy feat, for certain.

"Unfortunately, it appears as though Midna Ozul won't be-"

The door at the back of the hall burst open. Midna's heels clacked down the aisle, her dishevelled hair trailing behind her. Zelda thought she was about to crash into the stage, but then she flipped onto it. Did gymnasts ever pass up the opportunity to show off? Midna scrambled towards the final podium. Groose's podium. The debate might as well have started off with a game of musical chairs.

"Ms Ozul," Rauru said sternly. "That was a very colourful entrance, but-"

"Oops. I panicked." She ripped off her backpack, fished out her tablet, and placed it onto the podium. "Shall we begin?"

With a sigh, Rauru addressed the very perplexed, yet highly amused audience. "Here's the procedure for today. One-by-one, our candidates will share a one-minute speech about who they are and why they deserve your vote." He pressed a button on a small remote and a projector screen unfurled from above the stage. It lit up, displaying a timer. "Following that, representatives of the student body will take the mic," he gestured at a mic stand just to the side of the aisle, "and raise their concerns for debate. Each candidate will have forty seconds to pose their solution. After that, opponents are invited to share their rebuttal. Is everything clear?" The candidates nodded. "Good. I'll be moderating today's debate. Let's keep things civil, shall we?"

Of course Zelda could keep things civil. She always kept things civil. She was the civil one. There was no way Zelda could be anything but civil. Civil Zelda was a guarantee!

"And with that, I welcome our first candidate to speak," said Rauru. "Presenting Groose Bardoe."

The teenage boy puffed out his chest. "You should vote for me because I'm as slick as my do." A hand swept over his pompadour. It sprung upright. Zelda gripped fistfuls of her powder blue skirt, fighting back a deep sigh. Midna's head hit her podium with a groan. Groose continued to sing his praises with vague and outdated language like "radical" and "the cat's meow." Zelda tuned most of it out. The audience radiated a silent awkwardness punctuated by the odd cough. Groose didn't seem to notice. "So vote for Groose, or be a goose," he finished. Cawlin and Fledge honked, eliciting a brief chuckle from the crowd.

Rauru shot them a stern glance. "I request that the audience remains quiet and respectful during this event." Silence followed. His face furrowed as he gestured at Groose. "Aren't you going to clap for him?" The applause was slow, hesitant, but Groose's lackies whooped and clapped with fanatic gusto. Rauru looked up at the ceiling. "Good. I invite our next candidate to speak. Zelda Harkinian."

She opened her mouth, and then a realisation shook her. She had forgotten her speech. Every word. Her whole body seized up, aside from her eyes. They flitted towards the crowd. A thousand faces, all staring at her. She found Link's encouraging smile but was a little disappointed to find Ganondorf missing. Well, more than a little. He always knew how to praise her.

It took every ounce of courage Zelda had to lean towards the microphone. "I would be an excellent student council president because I am smart, charismatic, and strong-willed." She felt like none of those things, but that couldn't matter right now. Though her voice wavered and her posture stiffened, she forced herself to say whatever she could. "I can get along with people different from myself." That didn't feel true while Midna stood across from her. "I work well under pressure." That didn't feel true as she tottered close to a panic attack.

The timer had ten seconds left. She needed to wrap up her speech now! But what could she say to leave a final impact? "Oh, and most importantly, I am…" She met her rival's bemused look. "Punctual!" Midna's face soured, and the snickers of the audience twisted Zelda's gut further. The applause was decent, at least. Someone even whistled for Zelda's audacious finisher. She wanted to take back what she said and toss it into the gap between dimensions.

Surely Midna would destroy her for that.

"A gentle reminder to be civil," the principal said, slight wear in his tone. "Last, but certainly not least, I present Midna Ozul."

With a narrowed glance at Zelda, Midna ripped her mic from its hold. She sauntered to the middle of the stage, flipped her hair over her shoulder, and planted a hand on her hip. From the corner of Zelda's eye, Groose ogled her. Worst of all, a part of Zelda sympathised.

Midna brought the mic to her smudged lips, as if they were impeccably painted like always, and paced around the stage. "Most people imagine the picture-perfect candidate to be a well-behaved people pleaser." Was that a jab at Zelda? Surely it was! "But if I'm being perfectly honest, that doesn't make for a great leader. It might help to be organised, punctual, or," she glanced over her shoulder at Groose, "memorable." Zelda clenched her teeth. Did Midna just call her a bore? "But that's the bare minimum. A good leader has something more."

Midna halted her pace. "Grit."

The audience was silent, utterly captivated by her words. "I'm not afraid to question the system. I'm not afraid to be outspoken. I'm not afraid to look like the bad guy if it means doing the right thing." Those words cast Zelda back nine years.

"So, if you want a president unlike any you've had before, vote for me. Midna Ozul, the blade who cuts through the bullshit."

"Language!" Rauru barked.

"Bull crap," Midna corrected. "Slip of the tongue."

The applause thundered as Midna sashayed back to her podium. Zelda sought out Link. His clap was respectable, deliberately so, for his eyes marvelled at Zelda's rival. Gods damn you, Link. He was trying so hard to contain his enthusiasm for Zelda's sake, but she resented the fact that he had anything to contain at all.

To be fair, Midna's speech was as effective as it was inappropriate. Perhaps she won over the crowd at the cost of disqualification. Or at least a penalty.

"Remember, great leaders are civil," said Rauru. With each incident, Zelda swore he aged another year. "We will now move onto the debate portion of the event." The timer switched from 1 minute to 40 seconds. "Mr Bardoe will be the first to pose his argument, followed by Ms Harkinian and Ms Ozul." He gestured to a Zora sitting in the front row, right next to the aisle. "Ruto Roi. Please address our candidates."

A Zora sprang to her feet and hopped towards the mic. "Hi. Ruto here. Captain of the swimming team," she chirped. "Some Gorons recently said that they wanted to participate in our events but because they sink and their bodies create drag, none of our activities suit them. How can we make them feel included?"

"Mr Bardoe. You may present your argument…" Rauru started the timer, "now."

Groose gaped at Ruto. "What do Gorons wanna go swimming for?"

"They like the social atmosphere," Ruto said, "and enjoy splashing around like the rest of us."

He shook his head. "Sounds like you're gonna have to break their hearts, Ruta."

"Ruto."

"Right. If they throw themselves in the pool and sink, they'll drown."

"Actually, Gorons can hold their breath for a long time, and they can talk underwater, and they can use the ladders to get in and out-"

"Yeah, but they can't swim! Tell 'em to go back to their hot springs or something." The audience booed. Ruto's face scrunched into a frown.

The timer buzzed. Rauru glowered at Groose, then he turned to Zelda. "Ms Harkinian, your turn."

"Oh, um…" She had already lost five seconds. "First of all, I think your commitment to inclusivity is commandable- I mean commendable!" Another blank. "This is a tough problem to solve. I understand your struggle." 20 seconds left. For Din's sake, pose a solution! "Maybe figuring out how the Gorons should assimilate to regular pool activities is the wrong approach. We should devise new activities built around the strengths of Gorons and Zoras. Perhaps start by modifying water hockey?" The timer buzzed on her final word.

Murmurs of intrigue rippled through the hall. Ruto tapped her chin. "That could work." For the first time that day, Zelda was quite pleased with herself. Maybe she could win enough voters today.

"Ms Ozul." Rauru reset the timer. "Your turn."

"Gorons enjoy tests of strength. They'll want to celebrate their physical capabilities in any setting," Midna said. "Why not let them do it underwater?"

Ruto tilted her head. "What do you suggest?"

"If a Goron can lift 500 kilograms normally, how much can they lift with buoyancy on their side?"

A handful of Gorons murmured thoughtfully. Their excitement piqued Ruto's interest. "I guess it's worth looking into."

"I know it is."

The timer buzzed. "Ms Harkinian, do you have anything to say to Mr Bardoe's argument?"

What was his point, again? Oh right. Let the problem fester. "I think his words speak for himself." He puffed out his chest. That wasn't a compliment, you idiot.

"Ozul?"

"Same here."

"Then I suppose we will move onto Ms Harkinian. Mr Bardoe, your response?"

"Yeah. How many schools even play water polo?"

"Hockey," Zelda corrected.

Groose snorted. "You can't play hockey underwater. Everyone knows that." Some of the audience burst into laughter, probably directed at Groose, but his smug grin made her believe that it could possibly be for her. For Din's sake! Why was her mind entertaining these stupid notions?

"If we weren't onstage right now, I'd encourage you to look it up on your plate- Slate! I meant slate." Now the laughter was for her. At least Groose seemed frightened by the prospect of a ten-second search destroying his argument.

Rauru lowered his hand, settling the crowd. "Ms Ozul."

"Mr Bardoe almost made a point," Midna said. "No other schools in the area play water hockey, nor would they play any game we make up competitively. Your idea might work for recreation, but it would exclude Gorons from representing our school."

"As opposed to underwater weightlifting?"

"There are already rules for Goron-style weightlifting. It would just be underwater," Midna said. "And it would be easier to get other schools on board."

Zelda's nostrils flared. It's not a personal attack, she reminded herself. This is just part of the debate. Usually she was so good at separating herself from this kind of thing, but this was Midna, a self-proclaimed blade who cut through the bull crap.

Bull crap like Zelda. Dammit! I'm doing it again.

"Mr Bardoe, do you have anything to discuss regarding Ms Ozul's suggestion?"

"Uh huh," he drawled. "What if a human wants to do underwater weightlifting?" Groose had all but stolen Zelda's next weapon against Midna.

"I suppose we'd cover that when a human expresses interest in it," Midna said.

Groose raised a hand. "I'm interested."

"When multiple humans express interest."

Two hands shot up from the crowd. Cawlin and Fledge. Midna huffed. The corners of Zelda's mouth twitched.

"Ms Harkinian."

"I think Mr Bardoe was right to be concerned about inclusion, as that is the point of the discussion."

Midna crossed her arms. "And I think that humans should understand that not everything can include them."

"What I mean is that Ruta-"

"Ruto!" the Zora snapped.

"My apologies. Ruto mentioned that Gorons enjoy the social aspect of the swimming club, so activities should help Gorons socialise with everyone. Surely that's the priority over competition?"

"Gorons like competition," Midna said.

"No more than anyone else. Take us for example. Competing before a crowd. Neither of us are Gorons."

"I suppose we should invite the Gorons in question to raise their concerns with us directly," Midna gritted.

A tension hung between their locked stares. Zelda found this dynamic refreshing. Midna the defendant. Her the prosecutor. At least she knew how to treat the position with grace and tact.

"Saria March. Please address the candidates."

"Thank-you, sir." The green-haired girl skipped towards the microphone. "Representative of the Central High Eco Rights Initiative, or CHERI for short." Her smile brightened towards Zelda. "How can we make our campus greener?"

"Bardoe," Rauru called.

"Get some paint. Duh." Groose said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "Why green though? Why not red? It's much cooler."

Pain split through Zelda's forehead. She had slammed it against the podium. The school roared with laughter. Midna clutched her sides as she cackled. Rauru stared at the ceiling like he was begging for Farosh's thunder to strike him down.

"Settle down students," he said. "Let him finish."

Groose's head sank into his popped collar. "But I'm done…" Midna burst into another round of laughter, sprawled over her podium.

"Ozul, contain yourself!" Rauru snapped.

"H-how did he," she wheezed, "even become a c-candidate? He doesn't even know what green means."

"Ozul!"

"Okay, okay." Midna pursed her lips, but the giggles rattled inside her until she cracked. "I tried! I really tried!"

"Do I have to dismiss you?"

She thrust out her hand. "No, no. I think I have it out of my system now." A few soft chuckles coloured her voice. "Mostly."

Link was utterly enraptured by her laughter, failing to bite back his own. Two idiots who can't hold back a simple giggle, Zelda thought bitterly. They're perfect for each other.

Rauru let out a long sigh. "Ms Harkinian. Your turn."

Her spine shot straight. "Right! Um…" She timidly addressed Saria. "What were we discussing again?"

"How to make the campus more eco-friendly," the girl chirped.

"Ah, yes. Of course. Well, as founder of the Central High Eco Rights Initiative, I am most certainly the best equipped for this question." Her mind offered nothing. "Sustainability is very important to me, and it has been for years." Make a suggestion! Any suggestion! No, not that suggestion! "There is no Planet B." She laughed nervously. "We need to do something that really tells everyone how important our environment is. Something like-" The timer buzzed. Nothing. She had offered nothing aside from mediocre greenwashing!

"Ozul."

"I'd start by eliminating disposable cutlery from the cafeteria-"

"What about straws?" Zelda cut in. "Disabled students need those."

"Harkinian!" Rauru snapped.

Zelda shrank into her shoulders. "My apologies, sir."

Rauru reset the timer. "Ms Ozul, your do-over starts now."

"As I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted, I'd start by eliminating disposable cutlery as a default option. We'd still have some on hand for people with allergies and the like." Midna continued with compelling arguments that Zelda envied. If she wasn't so sleep-deprived, she'd be leagues ahead of Midna on this topic.

Unfortunately, Zelda's performance did not increase over the course of the debate. If anything, it weakened. So much focus was put into staying awake. Alert. All she wanted was to fall asleep and wake-up as herself again. She was bobbing in tumultuous waters with lead weights tied to her feet as she clawed to keep her head just above the surface. Midna was the waves that kept forcing her under, but Zelda refused to give up. She refused to drown.

"Paya Rokee."

The timid Sheikah girl approached the microphone. "Um… hello. Paya of the… uh… S-Sheikah Society. We were… um… wondering if the clubs could have an increase in… an increased b-budget this year?" She frantically waved her hands. "N-not that we aren't grateful for what we receive!" Paya buried her flushed face in her palms.

"Thank-you for being brave enough to speak, Miss Rokee," Rauru soothed. "Mr Bardoe?"

Groose slowly leaned towards the microphone. "Clubs get money?"

"Y-yes," Paya squeaked. "We f-fundraise most of it, b-but we do get a small… a small budget from the school."

"Why can't you just do more fundraisers?"

"W-well…" Paya fidgeted. "It's n-nice to have some events without the p-pressure."

Groose thought for a moment. He opened his mouth to inevitably spew more stupidity when the timer buzzed.

"Ms Harkinian."

"How much money is afforded to club activities is determined by the school's accountant, so there isn't much to be done about that without appealing to them directly." Useless. That answer is useless! "Perhaps we could arrange for the student council treasurer to give budgeting workshops, or we could help clubs collaborate to arrange larger fundraising events? Then they won't have to be as frequent." Finally, a sound idea!

"Those are v-very good suggest-suggestions," Paya stuttered.

"Ms Ozul."

"I quite like the idea of appealing to the accountant," Midna said. "In fact, I quite like the idea of the school publishing its budget in the fullest detail." Gasps sounded from the staff. "We could locate some money sinks and reduce them to fund club activities. I know for a fact that the teachers' lounge uses coffee beans instead of grounds. And have you noticed that the school upgrades the desks every five years when they could last longer? Clearly the budget cares more about aesthetic than enrichment."

Oohs rippled throughout the crowd. Rauru visibly aged another ten years. "An interesting take, Ozul."

"Uh… yes! Very interesting!" Paya squeaked. "But… uh… I'm not sure we can help much with that…"

"You won't," Midna said bluntly. "The responsibility would fall onto the council. To me."

Paya cowered under her gaze. "Oh. Of- Of course. I'm so sorry for saying anything."

Midna waved her off. "Don't be."

Why is Midna being so rude to Paya? Zelda's insides writhed. Link said she had changed.

Zelda and Midna glazed over Groose's pointless argument, and Midna criticised Zelda for not actually solving the issue of affording bigger budgets. Zelda was so ready to attack her rival's argument.

"I'm concerned that you're trying to turn a simple request into something much bigger," Zelda said. "You're asking to have a say in budgeting affairs when you are not an accountant. Nothing qualifies you to criticise the school budget." She scoffed. "We have limits, you know."

Midna was taken aback by her tone. "My whole campaign is based around pushing the limits of the position. I don't know what you were expecting."

"Girls, please," Rauru urged.

"Maybe you could've left the snark at home? Put on a smile for the audience? Focus on what you can do rather than this rebel fantasy you have?"

"Excuse me?!" Midna's hair bristled with a dim glow. "At least I'm not jumping down your throat for no reason."

"At least I wasn't fraternising with your brother in the woods last night!"

The crowd exploded. Everyone locked onto Midna. Dishevelled hair. Wide eyes ringed with purple. Smudged lips hanging open. In that frightening moment when the hall was engulfed by gasps and frantic gossip, Midna and Zelda both knew that the whole school had come to the same conclusion.

The wrong conclusion.

Regret burned Zelda's tongue as she stared at the woman before her. Midna looked so… so defeated. Her hair hung limply. Tears danced in the corners of her eyes. "Midna, I-" She bolted from the stage. Zelda chased her into the wings, down the ramp, and out the flapping doors. Heels clacked down the hallway. Zelda sprinted faster. "Midna, wait!"

She whipped around. Violently. Tendrils of fire writhed around a face streaked with tears. "I can't believe you!" Midna spat. "I've spent years trying to make amends, and then you had to say that."

"I am so-"

A dry laugh cut her off. "After nine years, you finally got the perfect revenge." She smacked past Zelda's shoulder. "Hope it was worth it." Midna disappeared into the shadows. Her muffled sobs faded down the hall.

The debate replayed in Zelda's mind, but now it was different. Reversed. No longer was Midna cast as the villain. She was the victim, undeniably so, and Zelda had torn her to shreds in front of the entire school.

Because of a petty grudge. Because she still saw Midna as the horrid child she was nine years ago.

Zelda collapsed against the nearest wall. Dizzy and heaving and sobbing and shaking. The spiral wound faster, tighter, louder. Horrible, it called her. Rotten. Cruel.

Irredeemable.

Arms circled her, easing her into a familiar shoulder. "Breathe."

Her erratic intake steadied just enough to match the rise and fall of Link's chest. Every time a sob tossed her off her rhythm, his breath guided her back. Her lungs calmed just enough to ask her most burning question. "Are you mad at me?"

"That doesn't matter right now."

He was. He so was. She had ruined his reputation just as she had Midna's. And if the brewing rumours reached Midna's father? Another wave of anxiety crashed over her. She stuttered through her tears. "I-I'm so s-sorry, Link." She gulped. "I d-didn't want-" She couldn't finish.

"Save it," he said. "Just breathe."

And breathe she did, until she was able to ask her final question. "Am I a bully?"

"You're tired," Link parted from her. "C'mon. Let's get you to the nurse's office."

A wave of relief washed over her. Finally, a chance to sleep. To wake up as herself.

To fix what she had done.

This chapter is one of my favourites, but it's also one I was nervous to put out. I was afraid of how readers might react to Zelda doing something so unlikeable, or they might see this whole chapter as pointless drama. Anxiety can really mess with your perception of things and bring out some toxic traits without you realising.

Now it's time to discuss content warnings! This is the first chapter where we delved into someone's mental illness, and this story has content that could be potentially triggering. Initially I was going to have content warnings on the relevant chapters, but A, that kinda spoils said chapter, and B, people should be able to walk away from this story before they get too invested in it. Since the story is still being written, there's possibility for this list to expand. At some point I'll move it to the first chapter.

SPOILERISH CONTENT WARNINGS START NOW

Suicide attempts

Police brutality

Characters being triggered

More panic attacks and anxiety symptoms because I gotta project somehow

Intrusive thoughts

Sexual harassment

Verbal and emotional abuse

At least one queer character is killed off

Mild queerphobia

Faking disabilities and mental illness

SPOILERISH CONTENT WARNINGS END

If you have any questions or need me to clarify anything for you, you're welcome to message me privately, either on this website or Tumblr. My username is scarlet-curls.

I can promise you that this story won't go above a T rating and I fully intend to pack it full of wholesome fun and humour too!