Arranging a flight back to the U.S. was a nightmare and a half, and only accomplished through Bobby contacting a few government officials that owed him favors. He was not happy when Sam called him, and between dealing with a grumpy retired hunter and his newly amnesiac sister and her amnesiac wife, Sam's stress levels had gone through the roof.
Eileen had done her best to explain what they knew to Cas while Sam had taken Deanna, and neither conversation had gone all that well. Deanna's natural suspicion and Cas' philosophical meandering worked against them surprisingly efficiently, and Sam was happy that Deanna seemed not to remember how good she was with a weapon, considering how many different times she tried to find a hole in his story.
Eventually, he'd gotten the point across and that had been its own can of worms.
"So I chase down bad guys," Deanna had said eventually. "And save people. Dude, that's so awesome."
"I can't believe you expect me to believe I married someone that thinks homicide is a fun hobby," Cas had said prissily at this, causing Deanna to glare at her.
"I can't believe I married such a buzzkill," said Deanna, seemingly having forgotten that her initial reaction to being told Cas was her wife was an exclamation about marrying up and a request for a high five from Eileen. "Angelic, my ass. Self-righteous is more like it. And does she have to bring up that she knows everything every two seconds? Insufferable little know it all."
"You know I can hear you," Cas had said, arms crossed petulantly. Sam was reminded instantly of their argument outside Benny's house, but with all of the affection stripped away.
"Good," Deanna said, proceeding afterwards to mutter under her breath. "What a fucking piece of work."
"Both of you, shut up," Sam said, sick of listening to them bicker. Instead of bringing an end to it all, he just re-centered their focus onto him.
"Aren't I older than you?" Deanna asked. "Because that sounded an awful lot like a lack of respect, Samuel Middle Name Winchester."
"I don't have a middle name."
"Or any manners," Cas added coolly. Sam looked to Eileen for help, and she signed to him that he had brought this on himself. Sam then spent a miserable hour in the airport listening to passive aggressive comments, and he could not wait until they got their memories back and Deanna remembered that they were fighting. There was no point sniping at this Deanna, and he knew he would just regret it later anyway. At least she and Cas were too busy ganging up on him to fight with each other.
On the plane, Sam finally got a break from the two of them. He ended up sitting next to Eileen near the front of the plane while Deanna and Cas had seats towards the back. Sam walked back once to see Deanna closing her eyes and counting backwards from one thousand and felt a stab of guilt that he'd forgotten to remind her about her fear of flying. She was gripping onto the arm rest of the seat tight enough that her knuckles had gone white, and oddly enough Cas was staring at this. Slowly, she reached out and pried Deanna's hand and then laced their fingers together. Deanna didn't acknowledge it, and Sam was ushered back to his seat by an insistent flight attendant before he could ask them anything about it.
As soon as they landed, it was back to the bickering. Sam managed to snag the car keys, for once, since Deanna didn't remember that she hated anyone and everyone that drove her car. The engine hummed beneath them as Cas sat in the passenger seat and looked out the window, as though arguing with Deanna was too insignificant for her to devote her entire attention to the matter.
Sam caught Eileen's eyes in the rearview mirror and mouthed at her that she was lucky she didn't have to listen to all of this. Eileen rolled her eyes at him and leaned forward to squeeze his shoulder in a show of solidarity.
"-you wanna get off that high horse for a damn second?" Deanna asked. "I don't know where you get off calling me a murderer-"
"It is the name for people who murder things. I, being a thing, am rightfully concerned," Cas said spitefully.
"No one said you were a thing," said Deanna. "And according to Sam, here, you're a hunter too."
"He's your brother," said Cas. "How do I know this isn't a trick? What if he's trying to use me for personal gain?"
"I don't know. How am I supposed to know it isn't a trick that you planned? I don't know any of you people."
"Why would I try to trick you? If your brother is to be believed, I have near infinite power to use as I wish. What would be the point?"
"If the fact that we got hitched is anything to go by, it probably has something to do with me being cute," said Deanna, clearly getting annoyed by Cas' lack of any real engagement in the argument. "Check yes or no, do you think I'm pretty, Cas?"
"I think you're a nuisance."
"Uh huh," said Deanna leaning forward and placing her hand so it was resting on the back of Cas' seat. Her fingers started tapping lightly against the leather, just enough to be audible. Sam sighed. He knew this game.
"Don't touch me," Cas said, still staring resolutely out the window.
"I'm not touching you," said Deanna smugly. She then leaned forward even more and started fiddling with the radio, dialing in to several rock stations seemingly by memory and then cycling through them again. Before Sam could do more than just frown at this, Cas had reached out to stop Deanna's hands.
"Don't touch me," Deanna mocked with an obnoxious grin. Cas yanked Deanna forward a little, dragging her closer so Deanna could witness the full strength of Cas' glare, but all that did was make Deanna smile all the harder. "Now that I've got your full attention, about that question. Check yes or no, do you-"
Cas let her go with a light push sending Deanna back into her seat. Then, she went back to staring out the window, now silently. Deanna just smirked to herself, convinced she had won whatever game she was playing. Sam gave it a good thirty minutes before he poked the hornet's nest.
"Can I ask you two a question?" he said.
"You can try, but it's probably part of your secret evil scheme to trick Cas into using powers she doesn't even remember how to use," said Deanna. "Or something."
Sam ignored that.
"The two of you used to be able to… hear each other's thoughts?" Sam said, still not entirely sure how all of that had worked. "Is that still…?"
"No," said Deanna without hesitation. "Not that it's not obvious what Cas is thinking right now."
"And what is that?" Cas muttered quietly.
"This dumb human definitely doesn't know what I'm thinking right now."
"Bravo," said Cas, voice dripping with sarcasm. She turned to Sam. "I can hear echoes. From all of you. Not thoughts exactly, more like…"
Cas paused, searching for a term.
"Hopes. Longings. Wishes," she said at last. "Not the specifics, just that they're there."
She looked between Sam and Eileen.
"You're both sad," she added quietly. "And frustrated."
"That's enough of that," said Sam, cutting Cas off. She seemed a little offended, but shrugged and went back to pretending everyone else didn't exist.
By the time Sam had pulled into Bobby's house, he was so damn exhausted he hardly remembered that he hadn't entirely filled Bobby in at the extent of Deanna's memory loss. He'd mostly been focused on getting back on home turf and safe, and had skipped over the details for the most part.
"Who's this guy?" Deanna asked when Bobby rolled down the ramp at the side of his house to come down to see them. He narrowed his eyes at her, and then looked up at Sam in question.
"I can explain everything inside," Sam said after a second. Bobby nodded and they followed him back in, Eileen subtly positioning herself behind Deanna and Cas to keep them from wandering off elsewhere. Once inside, Deanna amused herself reading the titles of various books on Bobby's shelves and exclaiming more than once how cool it all was. Sam cut himself off more than once out of shock at the sheer happy go lucky attitude Deanna had suddenly adopted.
"You know reading the wrong book can kill you," Cas said out of nowhere. Deanna rolled her eyes at her.
"Trucker cap, this book gonna kill me?" Deanna said, addressing Bobby. She got a grumpy no in response and went back to perusing it. "Glad you care, Cas."
"According to Sam, your death would cause my own."
"Self interest. I can appreciate that. Admirable quality."
Sam decided he was never going to get through any kind of actual explanation with the two of them at each other's throats five feet from him, so he made the executive decision to sit Deanna and Cas in front of the television in the other room and told them to entertain themselves. Deanna almost kicked up a fuss about being treated like a kid, but was then thoroughly distracted by Cas' channel surfing and trying to convince her to hand over the remote.
By the time Sam got back to where Eileen and Bobby were sipping tea, what he most wanted to do was collapse in a chair and mentally recharge. Unfortunately, Bobby was looking at him, clearly waiting for the promised explanation. If Sam was remembering correctly, Bobby was many things but patient was not one of them.
"We were in Spain," Sam started, recounting the exact events as best as he could remember. Eileen signed reminders on occasion, and he added in the details easily nodding to her in thanks. Bobby listened to everything and when they were done, switched from tea to whiskey.
"That ain't good," he said, to start off with. "Whatever those girls pissed off was either a god or-"
"An angel right?" Sam broke in. Bobby snorted.
"This thing overpowered Cas that easily? We ain't talking someone rank and file," said Bobby. "And these things are supposed to be extinct. If there's more than just Cas and with that much juice, well…"
"There could be more than just the one," said Sam uneasily. "Cas'll be happy about that."
"I gotta imagine right now the only thing Cas is doing is wondering why the hell she seemed to like Deanna so much," said Bobby. "Gotta say, I'm not impressed with this pigtail pulling bullshit that girl's getting into. Thought Deanna knew better than that."
"Deanna didn't even remember her own name," Sam said, because that really wasn't fair. Bobby conceded the point. "I think the two of them are just acting… instinctually. No memories to draw off of, so Cas sees Deanna as a threat and Deanna sees Cas as…"
Sam finished off, not quite sure how to answer that. Eileen frowned at him and started signing.
'Someone who according to us should love her and doesn't,' signed Eileen. 'A partner who seems to be actively rejecting her.'
Huh, thought Sam. He thought again about how Deanna and Cas' thoughts were no longer connected and couldn't help but think that that shifted their dynamic entirely. There was no instant remedy to misgivings or miscommunications. Instead, two very different people were told that they used to love each other without any reference to why or how that happened. It was an excellent method of trying to separate the two of them.
"Cas as a challenge. She always did like making friends," Sam finished at last, not entirely focused on what he's saying anymore. He focused his eyes and saw the time on the clock reading 2 a.m. and decided they get into the rest of it tomorrow. It wasn't like the amnesiacs were going anywhere.
Holy shit, please let the amnesiacs not wander off Sam thought to himself, horrified.
"I need to sleep," Sam said. "Let's pick this up tomorrow."
"I'll look into it," Bobby said, wheeling towards his books.
"You need to sleep too, Bobby."
"I can sleep when I'm dead," he muttered back at Sam. Eileen had turned in time to lipread what he said and half smiled at Bobby, causing Bobby to reluctantly smile back. Something in Sam's mind noted in a pleased way that that was a sure sign that Bobby liked Eileen, and that was an important development for reasons Sam was certain he should still be ignoring.
'Do you want to take shifts watching them?' Eileen signed at him, her head dipping towards the room where the muffled blare of the television speakers could be heard. Sam nodded at her and then went into the other room to see Deanna snoring gently and curled up awkwardly on Bobby's too short couch. Cas was sitting on the ground, cross legged in front of the television, seemingly enthralled with a roadrunner cartoon.
Sam winced in sympathy at Deanna's obviously uncomfortable sleeping situation and walked over to push her awake. The second he tried, she grabbed a fistful of his shirt, took out the knife from his belt and had it pointed at his stomach.
"Just fucking try it, dickhead," she said, eyes struggling to open properly.
"Jesus Christ, it's me," Sam said, hands up instantly. "Sam, remember?"
Slowly comprehension started making it's way into Deanna's expression. She relaxed and lowered the knife from where it had been pointing just below his rib cage.
"Sam. Brother," she said, nodding to herself. "I remember."
"You do?" Sam asked skeptically.
"Well, I remember you telling me that, anyway," Deanna said, flipping the knife and handing it back to him handle first before settling back into her nap.
"There are other places to sleep," he tried.
"'M'fine here," Deanna mumbled into the couch before she started snoring again.
"Yeah, well when your spine needs readjusting don't come crying to me," Sam muttered. He was about to leave when he saw Cas had moved and was now standing behind him, watching them. He nearly jumped out of his skin when he turned around.
"I'll help," she said, walking past Sam. Before Sam could warn her off, Cas reached forward and pressed a hand to Deanna's forehead, pushing back through her hair and cradling the back of her head before slowly helping her sit up. Sam watched in awe as Cas managed to lift Deanna into her arms, slowly but steadily and Deanna didn't do much more than huddle a little closer so her head was resting against Cas' shoulder. Cas looked down at her, looking almost as confused as Sam feels.
"How did you know how to do that?" Sam asked, having more than enough proof that Deanna's reaction to people catching her unawares was to attack first and ask questions later.
"I don't know," said Cas. "It just seemed to be… the right way."
That statement hung in the air a moment.
"There's a bedroom for her to sleep in?" Cas prompted after a moment. Sam nodded and pointed, and Cas went off carrying Deanna effortlessly. When Sam felt a tap on his shoulder he nearly jumped again. This time it was Eileen who was trying to give him a heart attack.
'I saw that,' Eileen signed at him, looking after Deanna and Cas thoughtfully. 'And earlier today-'
'The radio,' Sam signed back. Deanna had known just how far to turn the dial for all the local stations. 'And Cas was holding her hand on the plane.'
'Almost like…' Eileen signed, before stopping and seeming to think.
Sam did the same before it hit him.
'Muscle memory,' he signed. 'Maybe, if we keep pushing at that, we can trigger the memories themselves. It's worth a shot.'
'How do we do that?' asked Eileen. Sam gave her a look, and she frowned at him in disapproval. 'We are not taking them on a hunt.'
'It's what they know. If anything is going to trigger a memory-'
'Hunts get people killed, Sam.'
'You think I don't know that?' Sam signed. He took him a moment to realize he'd said it out loud as well, and not anywhere in the realm of quiet. 'My mom died on a hunt, in case you forgot.'
'And I would think you wouldn't want to lose your sister too,' signed Eileen.
'I already did,' signed Sam. 'I'm trying to get her back. That's what she would want me to be doing. We'll pick an easy hunt and we'll be careful.'
For a long moment, Eileen wouldn't look at him. But in the end she caved, and Sam felt a mixture of relief and shame for forcing her hand this way.
'Fine,' signed Eileen. 'But I don't have to like it.'
They ended up researching a case to do instead of sleeping. By their third cup of coffee, Sam could see Eileen starting to fade, her eyes going blank as she argued for the umpteenth time that they had to choose a salt and burn. Sam, for the umpteenth time said there was no way in hell that was happening. He didn't care if he was being unreasonable, if they took Deanna on a salt and burn, all Sam would be able to think about is how his mother had died on a damn salt and burn, and he hadn't known for so many years. By morning, he'd finally scoured the newspapers of several different states and found…
"A wendigo," he said. Eileen sighed and nodded. A compromise, then. Or at the very least a recognition that Sam was going to remain stuck in his ways and the only method of keeping him out of trouble was going along with it. "Everything is going to be fine."
Sam was wrong. Sam was so goddamn wrong.
The time between finding the case and seeing Eileen lying on the ground choking on her own blood didn't seem to exist the same as time usually does. Sam kept trying to snatch back the seconds, hours, days and identify what the hell went wrong and undo it, because he couldn't lose Eileen. He just couldn't.
He could feel the heat of fire behind him, as Deanna managed to torch the damn monster, but Sam was kneeling by Eileen's side, trying to think of some goddamn way to help her.
"You're fine," he said to her, hoping she could read his lips as he puts pressure on the wounds. "Angels can- Cas healed some girl's arm, during our escape. She can fix you."
Eileen gave a full body shudder, and Sam shouted for Cas to get the fuck over here. He knows in the back of his head he sounds like a god damn lunatic, sounds scary, fuck, sounds like his dad but he wants to hit something because Eileen is… Eileen is…
"You have to fix her," Sam said, looking up at the unsettling blue eyes of an angel who owed him nothing and didn't even remember what her tenuous connection to him was in the first place. "Please, Cas, you have to-"
"I'm sorry," Cas said, and she sounded it. Her expression was caught off guard and sad. "Sam, I don't know how to. I don't remember anything."
Sam wanted to scream at her to fucking try at least, but Eileen tapped his hands and he turned his attention back to her. Eileen's eyes betrayed the urgency of the situation as they flicked back and forth between Deanna and Cas, obviously trying to signify something to Sam. With great effort she lifted her hands and signed at him.
'Muscle memory.'
Realization hit. Sam nodded at her, and felt a sharp rise in panic when as soon as he did, Eileen's eyes seemed to roll back slightly as she lost consciousness. Pressing down the urge to plead with her to wake back up, Sam turned to look back at where Deanna was looking on in unchecked horror.
"Deanna," he said, causing her attention to snap in his direction. "I need you to scream."
"You- what?" Deanna asked, lacking comprehension. Her eyes drifted back towards Eileen and Sam could feel the limp grip of Eileen's hand in his. Desperation filled him.
"Trust me," said Sam. "Scream."
The 'trust me' seemed to do it, and Deanna let out an ungodly wail that in other circumstances would have had Sam running to see who the hell was being murdered. Within an instant there was a rush of air, and Cas reappeared ten feet from where she had been to arrive at Deanna's side, her hand reached out to touch Deanna. An instant, almost instinctive reaction. The second Cas' fingers touched her, Deanna's entire body relaxed a fraction and her mouth opened in surprise. Sam saw a bruise on her jaw fade instantly and several cuts close.
"Neato," Deanna said out loud, patting at where her injures had previously been. Then she remembered herself and looked back at Cas hesitantly. "Cas, can you do that again to-?"
Before she finished her sentence, Cas was at Eileen's side and pressed her fingers to Eileen's forehead. Sam held his breath, praying to whoever the fuck was out there that it would work. When Eileen's eyelids fluttered and her grip on Sam's hand tightened again, he let out a sigh of relief and crushed her against his chest. Eileen pushed away for a second before realizing where she was, and then she hugged Sam back just as tightly.
"I owe you an I told you so," Eileen said against his chest, though it came out too flat to be funny.
"I'm so sorry," Sam whispered, knowing Eileen couldn't hear him and hoping that she could feel the sentiment in the way he was holding her. They stayed like that for a long time before Deanna carefully pried them off of each other and explained they needed to hike out of the woods before it got dark.
Eileen and Sam didn't talk as they walked, and Sam thought over and over again about how the hell he was going to be able to make it up to her. Once they reached the cars, Sam watched as Deanna expertly dragged Cas into the back of the Impala with her in order to give Sam and Eileen space.
'Eileen,' he signed towards her at last. 'I'm sorry.'
'It's fine.'
"It's not,' Sam signed back. 'If I hadn't pushed it-'
'I'm okay, Sam,' Eileen pointed out, but she still seemed on edge. There was no forgiveness in the way her shoulders hunched forward. 'Believe it or not, I've been through worse before I ever even met you and I've always been fine. You were trying to help your sister. I get it.'
'If I thought anything like that would happen I never would have-'
'If you had listened to me, then it wouldn't have,' Eileen signed back preemptively. Angrily. 'But you thought you knew better. It didn't matter how many times I told you that working with brand new hunters could get someone hurt, did it? I guess you lived up to the Campbell legacy after all.'
Sam couldn't think of a thing to say. He felt his hands drop to his sides.
'This is why I work alone,' signed Eileen. She didn't look at him as she kept signing. 'Sam, I think I need a break. I think you need one too.'
'What does that mean?' Sam asked, but dear God he didn't want to hear the answer.
'It means please don't get hurt,' signed Eileen. She paused and seemed to gather herself for the next part. 'But it also means don't call me.'
And then she turned around, got into her car and drove off. Sam watched her, slack jawed and unable to force himself to move from where he was standing. Five minutes after Eileen had left, Deanna opened the door to the car, and stuck her head out.
"Hey, uh, Sammy?" she said carefully. "Are we going to be leaving any time soon?"
Sam snapped himself out of it, and walked over the car, forcefully slamming the door shut as soon he had sat himself down. Then he drove and drove and tried not to think at all.