Okay, so I know I said that Yang vs Bakugou was the next fight, but I decided to do a Halloween special. Jeff the Killer vs Eyeless Jack, and Zombie Spiderman vs Vampire Batman. Yep, it's a double chapter. Please enjoy, and I'm going to go turn on all the lights in my house after I buy a shotgun. What, I'm a wimp.
-Jeff the Killer vs Eyeless Jack-
Bryant: The dangers of life. People can be normal humans, but if they are faced with unfortunate circumstances, they can become some of the most dangerous, and insane, killers ever known.
Thea: ...
Bryant: Thea, put down the machine gun and come out from under the desk please.
Thea: Why did we have to research these guys?
Bryant: Because it's Halloween. It could've been worse.
Thea: How worse?!
Bryant: Pennywise and Freddy Kruger. At least with these guys we can just read. With the other two, we would have to watch.
Thea: ...ugh, fine.
Bryant: Jeff the Killer, the laughing maniac.
Thea: Eyeless Jack, the kidney craver.
Bryant: There are multiple iterations of these two horror icons, so for this battle, we'll be looking at an amalgamation of what we can figure out. We'll also be looking at the fanon versions of these characters, as they give more to work with.
Thea: I'm looking up adorable baby videos after this.
Bryant: I'm Bryant Reese.
Thea: And I'm Thea Price.
Bryant: And we're here to analyse these two fighters and find out who would win, a WI Battle!
-Line Break-
Jeff the Killer:
Bryant: Jeffrey Woods was a regular 13 year old boy. He was a bit anti-social, pretty quiet. But not weird. Unfortunately, that all changed when he and his family moved to a new neighborhood.
Thea: Moving sucks in and of itself already. But Jeffrey really had it rough. He and his brother Liu were almost mugged by three bullies. Randy, Keith, and Troy.
Bryant: Wanting to protect his brother, Jeffrey brutally beat the three bullies when the three pulled out knives. In return, the bullies alerted the police, resulting in Liu being arrested as he took the blame. Jeffrey fell into depression, plagued with guilt. On top of that, ever since moving into the new neighborhood, he had been feeling a strange tugging inside of him. A feeling which only continued to grow stronger as time went on.
Thea: Nope! Nope nope nope nope nope nope nope!
Bryant: After being persuaded to attend a party by his mother, to introduce himself to the neighborhood kids, Jeffrey was understandably unhappy to see the three bullies arrive at the party.
Thea: Damn bullies. Making the world worse and worse!
Bryant: It wasn't enough for the bullies to have sent his brother to Juvie, they wanted to completely dominate Jeffrey and his family, even going as far as to pull out guns. After an intense fight, Jeffrey killed one of the bullies, but ended up being burned alive by Keith with a combination of bleach, vodka and a lighter.
Thea: Bright side? The police decided that the fight was proof that Liu was innocent and let him go. The downside? Jeffrey's face became a leathery mask, and he's now completely insane. Yeah, nope.
Bryant: Foolishly, the doctors dismissed this as a result of painkillers. The night he came home, Jeffrey took a knife and carved a permanent smile into his face, and burned off his eyelids.
Thea: Three tons of NOPE!
Bryant: Terrified, his mother tried to get his father to shoot Jeffrey, only for Jeffrey to kill them, angered by his mother lying to him. Now full blown killer, Jeffrey decided to top the night with killing his brother, while uttering his signature line: Go to sleep.
Thea: I don't think I can after tonight.
Bryant: You better. After all, Jeffrey now is on a serial killing rampage against all who don't sleep at night.
Thea: ...sleeping pills. Now.
Bryant: Later. Jeffrey continued to fall down a well of insanity, eventually naming himself, Jeff the Killer. As time went on, Jeff made several enemies. From his brother, who was actually still alive, somehow, Jane the Killer, and even the infamous Slenderman. Naturally, Jeff needed to be able to hold his own.
Thea: And he can do just that. Jeff's been through a lot of retelling, but he has a few things that are consistent. He's skilled with multiple weapons, trained his other senses since not having eyelids is bad for the eyes, and he has superhuman abilities. He can move fast enough to dodge bullets, is strong enough to lift and throw people through the air, and tough enough to survive a lot. And I mean a lot. Pistols, machine guns, shot guns, axes, even freakin' grenades! ...four tons of NOPE.
Bryant: Like all serial killers, Jeff has his favorite weapon: His knife. More often than not, he carries a butcher knife, which he can use to easily carve up his victims. He has been using multiple weapons over the different media, but the knife is the most consistent amongst them.
Thea: Well yeah! The guy's a psycho! Of course he'll want to go around killing people up close! He wants to see them die.
Bryant: That does make sense. What's more, he can also be quite intelligent. He often lulls would-be victims into trusting him, manipulating them until he literally stabs them in the back. He also prefers using stealth over brute force, sneaking up to his opponents and killing them in secret.
Thea: In some forms of media, he can do a lot of reality warping stuff, but those can be considered outliers. But a lot of media agree that he can make people see a bunch of crazy scary things, similar to hallucinations and panic attacks. I would recommend watching Animation Rewind's videos on Jeff the Killer, but you really shouldn't. Most of their videos on him are 10% action, 90% random sh*t that is pretty pointless. Same with a lot of their videos actually, but a lot of people can agree their results are better researched, and they do have a few gems. Jeff is strong enough to break down wooden doors, so they won't help out much… Hey Bryant, can you help me upgrade my house?
Bryant: Jeff's endurance is incredible. Even after being shot up several times, burned alive by chemicals, being brutally beaten, and even being impaled, he still didn't die despite the lack of medical treatment, implying that he can heal himself, albeit very slowly. Instead, he seems to love the pain he felt. Jeff's raw hatred, sadistic nature, and insane mind only makes him even harder to kill. Though, that's not to say he's unbeatable. He can be killed with enough damage, and though he has survived multiple encounters with Slenderman, he was usually the one to run away.
Thea: Still, Jeff is easily one of the deadliest killers we had on our series. If he gets you in his sights, he will kill. And it will hurt. Whelp, time to binge Poco's Udon World.
Bryant: We still have Eyeless Jack.
Thea: F*ck.
(Jeff) Go to sleep…
-Line Break-
Eyeless Jack:
Bryant: One day, a man named Mitch decided to move in with his brother. A week later however, he woke up, with a large gash in his cheek. After being taken to the hospital, it was revealed that he was missing his left kidney, which had been stolen overnight. That same night, Mitch woke to see a terrifying figure, right over his bed. A figure with a blue mask, and black liquid dripping from empty eye sockets. The monster attacked, clawing open his chest before Mitch managed to escape. When he woke up in the hospital the next day, his brother was dead. Returning home, Mitch was horrified to see not only his brother's corpse, but his kidney, with a bite taken out of it. That monster, was Eyeless Jack.
Thea: I think I'm going to watch Gakuen Babysitters too. Or maybe Himouto Umaru-chan.
Bryant: Well, you can do that with our sponsor, Crunchyroll!
Thea: Wait, we're sponsored?!
Bryant: Heh heh, no. Back to Eyeless Jack.
Thea: F*ck you sshole.
Bryant: Jack Nichols was once an average college student. His only real friend was his peer and roommate, Greg. Eventually though, he began making friends with another peer, Jenny. But Jenny was an odd girl, and she often hung out with a small group of friends, who often met up in the woods near college.
Thea: Flags! So many flags, every nation is jealous!
Bryant: Turns out, the group was actually a cult worshiping a demon. Tricking Jack to come into the woods, Jenny and her friends proceeded to blind Jack by pouring a hot, tar-like substance into his eyes, killing him for their ritual. His body became possessed by the demon they worshipped, causing him to go on a rampage and killing the group. He ripped off their masks, slashing their throats, and-
Thea: Boi, if you don't shut the hell up!
Bryant: Right, sorry. Anyways, going by his new name, Eyeless Jack, the new demon went around, stealing people's kidneys, and eating. Whether it was as a trophy or a result of the ritual, it's not really known. But one thing we do know, he's good.
Thea: As Mitch can already tell you, Eyeless Jack straight up stole his kidney! While he was sleeping! That kind of surgery needs a buttload of sedatives just to attempt, and Eyeless Jack just did it!
Bryant: Cruel, brooding, mysterious, and taunting, he's an expert on human anatomy and usage of many types of surgical equipment. He's also an expert on stealth, being able to easily sneak into people's houses no problem. He may be a normal human physically, but he's in prime condition, being able to kill people almost easily.
Thea: Not to mention, since he's possessed by a demon, he has several powers to use to kill people. He can summon large amounts of fog to block out his victim's vision, make his victim hear screaming and laughing from absolutely nowhere, and can levitate. Freakin' levitate. Imagine seeing that when you're walking down the halls. Oh, wait, you don't. Just check out that one meme of that guy running away from a guy levitating down the hall.
Bryant: What's more, he also has impressive senses. He has to, since he has tar pools for eyes. But these weren't the only things he got. He also has long, razor-sharp claws and teeth, which he can use to kill his victims. He's strong enough to lift up a full-grown adult with ease. If that wasn't enough, he rarely gets tired as he's chasing his victim, chasing them for hours on end.
Thea: But that might be because he's, so, slow! Wait, that's actually a good thing. And he can't teleport. YEAH!
Bryant: What's more, though he might be a dangerous killer cannibal who feasts on the kidneys of his victims, he's still a normal human. And while he may be able to overpower his victim, he can't do much else. He can still be killed by normal weapons, which is why he relies on stealth more often than not when he kills his victims.
Thea: Still, you better make sure your window and doors are locked at night. He'll come for your kidneys. And he will enjoy them. Can I go watch anime now?
Bryant: Sure, come back for the post-analysis.
(Eyeless Jack) You don't deserve salvation!
-Line Break-
Bryant: Alright, the stage is set, time to start this dance. Battle ready, set, GO!
-Line Break-
The woods. A dangerous place. So of course there was an idiot who decided to go out into it at night. Charlie scoffed as he walked through the dark paths through the trees.
"This isn't so scary. I'll be home for that twenty bucks in no time." he said arrogantly. He wasn't aware though, that someone was coming up to him slowly. A pure white face, with unblinking eyes and a carved smile slowly stalked the foolish teen.
"Go to sleep." Jeff the Killer whispered. Charlie froze, a shiver going up his spine. He looked around, before continuing to walk down the path.
"It's fine, I'm fine. Nothing's here. Absolutely, nothing. Right?" he said nervously to himself. Jeff snickered as he snuck closer to Charlie.
"Nothing at aaALLL!" Charlie shrieked as a dark figure fell on top of him. Jeff paused as he watched. Eyeless Jack bared his teeth, digging his scalpel into Charlie. Ignoring his screams, Jack ripped open Charlie's belly eventually digging out a kidney.
"A little messier than I like, but I'm starving." Jack chuckled as he threw it up and caught it in his mouth before biting it in half. He looked down at the screaming teen.
"Shut up." he groaned as he stabbed Charlie through the head with his scalpel, killing him. Jeff growled as he walked out into the open.
"Hello there." he said calmly. Jack looked over to the serial killer.
"What do you want?" he called impatiently.
"Oh well, I was wondering if we can talk? One killer to another." Jeff said smoothly. Jack laughed hysterically.
"Talk to you? No, I want to kill you. I'm going to take your kidneys." Jack said as he crouched over, blood still dripping from his claws. Jeff looked him over before laughing maniacally.
"Alright then. Let's start then." he chuckled.
Time to see who will die.
Fight!
Jack laughed as he raised his hands. A thick fog began to roll in through the woods. Jeff looked around before looking back at Jack. He paused when he realized that Jack had disappeared.
"Oh, we're playing hide n' seek?" Jeff chuckled. He stalked around, swinging his knife around.
"Where are you…" he sang. His ears pricked up, and he immediately jumped backwards as Jack soared through where he just was. Jeff laughed as he leapt at the cannibal, tackling him onto the ground.
"You're slow!" Jack laughed as he stabbed Jack. Jack roared in pain before throwing Jeff off with his legs. He got up quickly and ran towards Jeff, wielding his scalpel. Jeff got up, snickering. The two crossed knives, bringing them up towards each other's faces. Jeff grabbed Jack's arm and forced him down, shoving a knee into his stomach. Jack gasped in pain before throwing Jeff off. As Jeff got up, Jack grabbed him by the hood, pulling him in and driving the scalpel into his back. Jeff burst out laughing before reaching over his shoulder to grab Jack by the mask, pulling him forward and throwing him.
"Ha! You stabbed me in the back. Hilarious." Jeff chuckled as he pushed himself up. He looked up to see that Jack had disappeared once again. Laughing, he got up as his hoodie began to stain with red.
"Where did you go?" he sang. Pausing, Jeff looked around as he heard a screaming.
'Did he go to take someone else out? That's no fun.' he thought to himself. Jeff began running after the screams, eager to continue the fight, only to stop. There were other screams coming all around him. Haunting screams, even some familiar ones.
"What the hell?" Jeff murmured as he walked around. Jack flew out of the fog and tackled Jeff onto the ground, stabbing him repeatedly. Jeff laughed with each stab before throwing Jack off. Jeff got to his feet just in time for Jack to come in and slash him repeatedly with his claws before kicking Jeff away. Jeff laughed more, blood pouring down his hoodie and out his mouth.
"You're not anything. Looks like I should have a good meal tonight." Jack chuckled as he walked up to Jeff. Jeff continued to laugh hysterically before suddenly stopping. Surprised by the sudden silence, Jack stopped in his tracks.
"What's so funny?" he said cautiously. Jeff looked at Jack with his never ending smile.
"Go to sleep." he said. He dashed forward, catching Jack off guard. Jack fell back before Jeff tackled him on the ground. Still laughing with his high pitched laugh, Jeff stabbed Jack over and over again before grabbing Jack and throwing him to the side. Jack got up and ran over to Jeff again, the smiling maniac running back. Jack swung his claws towards Jeff's face, but Jeff ducked under the swipe before impaling Jack in the stomach and pulling it upward, causing Jack to scream as the knife was dragged through his body. Jeff slashed Jack several more times before kicking him away. Jeff laughed as he walked up to Jack.
"You're too slow. You should've just gone with diplomacy. Though, I will admit, you still would've died." Jeff taunted. Jack yelled in anger as he shot up and slashed Jeff again. Jack swung again, only for Jeff to stab him through the arm and pull it off. Jack yelled in pain as he staggered back, clutching his stump.
"Time to sleep." Jeff said as he walked up to Jack. Jack looked up before rushing forward. Roaring, he slashed Jeff in an uppercut. Jeff, surprised, fell back before rushing forward and slashing Jack in the leg, making the cannibal fall down. Jeff kicked Jack down and leapt on top of him, holding him down by the throat.
"Go to sleep." Jeff said before stabbing Jack in the throat. Jack choked, a glob of blood dribbling out.
"Go to sleep." Jeff said again before stabbing again.
"Go to sleep."
"Go to sleep."
"Go to sleep."
"Go to sleep."
"Go to sleep."
"Go to sleep."
"Go to sleep." Jeff said one last time before stabbing one last time, ripping Jack's head off. Jeff laughed hysterically again before walking over to Jack's dismembered arm. Grabbing it, he stabbed Jack's head with the claws and impaled it on the tree.
"Sleep." Jeff laughed before pulling up his hood and walking away.
KO!
Bryant: Thea! Thea, get back in here. It's time for the Post Analysis.
Thea: ...
Bryant: Are you crying?!
Thea: The end of Poco's Udon World! I hate that it ended already! I want another season! *sobs uncontrollably*
Bryant: It was barely even time for one episode! How did you watch the entire series already?! Forget it, just, help me with this.
Thea: Fine. Eyeless Jack really didn't have much over Jeff. Sure, he did have more supernatural abilities, and Jeff's ability to make people see crazy sh*t didn't really work since Jack couldn't see.
Bryant: But even with these advantages, they couldn't really help all that much. Jeff's own enhanced senses allowed him to pick up Jack through the fog, Jack's levitation didn't make him faster than Jeff, and he hasn't shown as many impressive feats of strength as Jeff.
Thea: Yeah, the problem is, we don't really get a lot of feats in what we could find about these two. But what we could find clearly showed Jeff as the superior of the two physically in the sources that aren't outliers.
Bryant: But what really sealed the deal was the difference in durability and endurance. Jack hasn't survived anything close to what Jeff had, and Jeff has regularly shown to have a better pain tolerance than Jack, even with what we could scrounge up of his endurance. Jeff's just blew his feats out of the water.
Thea: More power, more speed, more endurance? Not really good for Jack when both fighters are melee fighters.
Bryant: That's not to say he was completely outclassed. His distractions and greater amount of things to use to fight helped him keep Jeff on his toes. But Jeff's massively superior physical abilities simply meant that Jack had no chance in the end.
Thea: And here I thought Eyeless Jack already lost his head. The winner of this WI Battle is Jeff the Killer! Now, I'ma go watch Gakuen Babysitters.
Bryant: We still have the second matchup to do.
Thea: F*ck.
-Zombie Spider-Man vs Vampire Batman-
Bryant: Marvel and DC have had a lot of different versions of their characters. Whether they had small changes, like a different girlfriend, or big changes, like different feats.
Thea: And then we have the versions of certain vigilantes that are clearly meant to be disturbing.
Bryant: Zombie Spider-Man, the carnivorous alternate Spider-Man.
Thea: And Vampire Batman, the Dracula rip off.
Bryant: Really?
Thea: What, I can't think of a good title.
Bryant: Ugh. Again, I'm Bryant Reese.
Thea: And I'm Thea Price.
Bryant: And we're here to analyse these two fighters and find out who would win, a WI Battle!
-Line Break-
Zombie Spider-Man:
Bryant: Peter Benjamin Parker was an ordinary man. Or rather, he was an ordinary Spider-Man of Universe 2149.
Thea: You all know how it goes. He was a geeky nerd, and then he was bitten by a radioactive spider. Ever since, he was the one and only Spider-Man. Well, kinda.
Bryant: It was a regular day, until Spider-Man came across the Avengers dealing with Ash Williams.
Thea: Wait, the guy with a chainsaw for a hand?
Bryant: The very same. Ash warned Spider-Man of the danger heading to their world. Zombie Sentry. This was the effect of the dangerous Zombie Infection. The Infection spread quickly, infecting most of the Avengers. And Spider-Man was no exception. Soon, Peter Parker found himself Zombified, and eating his family.
Thea: ...yikes. Talk about family dinner. Hey Bryant, if this Zombie Infection comes to our world, let's shoot ourselves.
Bryant: We're Christian, we can't commit suicide.
Thea: ...let's shoot each other.
Bryant: ...I don't think it works that way.
Thea: Anyways, the Zombie Avengers went on a rampage. The people they didn't zombify became a meal. Even Silver Surfer and Galactus, some of the more powerful members of the Marvel Universe, became a full-course meal, resulting in the Zombies attaining the Power Cosmic. And then they went into space. Travelling all across the Milky Way.
Bryant: Spending the next 40 years eating as they went from planet to planet, the zombie population eventually returned to Earth, with the intention of using Reed Richards' dimensional portal to go to a new dimension filled with fresh meat, since the other zombies tasted really, really bad. However, there were a few zombies who were actually losing their hunger. This included Spider-Man, who instantly jumped to defend the small number of survivors found, alongside several other heroes.
Thea: After most of the zombies were killed, the remaining decided to stop fighting, realizing that their hunger was gone. But then they wanted to get more food and supplies, they ended up being trapped in another universe. And since they were sent to another Universe, the zombie's hunger returned while they lost the Power Cosmic.
Bryant: Fortunately, Peter managed to break free of the hunger induced trance over the sight of Mary Jane and Harry Osborn's death. While he tried to turn himself back to a human, the only hope he had to do this disappeared, leaving him as a monster. He accepted his fate to forever be a monster, then spent the next several years preparing to stop the zombie threat, once and for all.
Thea: And he's got the things he needs to do it too. He's got all of the abilities that most Spider-Men have. Super strength, speed, durability, agility, and endurance. He can fight for hours before becoming tired, and it was said that his reflexes are 15-18 times better than a normal human. He can use his Spider-Sense and Zombie-Sense to warn him of potential danger and sense flesh.
Bryant: He can also climb up walls, forming a temporary molecular bond with just about any surface he finds. And by eating the flesh of his opponents, he can rejuvenate himself. He also can fire web fluid from his Web Shooters, though ever since becoming a zombie, he tends to instead use his veins.
Thea: Wait, what?
Bryant: His veins. And his arteries. They pop out of his body, and are used the same way his webs are. Though this may be extremely painful for Peter, he can use these veins with the same efficiency as his webs.
Thea: That's, disgusting.
Bryant: Peter was able to use these veins to rip the head off of a recently zombified Quicksilver. Peter is strong enough to rip people apart and decapitate them with a single swipe of his hand. His zombified body helps him survive being ripped in half, massive explosions, and even ripping his own skin-
Thea: SHUT UP! I WANT TO SLEEP TONIGHT!
Bryant: Sorry, sorry. Still, Zombie Spider-Man should be able to scale to his original counterpart, albeit a little weaker. He has shown to be as strong as several superheroes and supervillains, even those who aren't zombified, so it's reasonable that we can scale Zombie Spider-Man to the original, who can perform the same feats he did. The original Spider-Man can lift a locomotive over his head and destroy tanks. Zombie Spider-Man was also able to help tear apart Galactus, a being who can survive Solar System Levels of attacks. Now granted, Zombie Spider-Man had help from multiple other zombies, Galactus was in a weakened state, and he couldn't do that much damage by himself. But the fact that he was able to injure Galactus at all is very impressive.
Thea: Five tons of NOPE.
Bryant: He can also withstand the shock of Electro, who's electricity can reach up to 10 million volts. A human body would normally become a burnt sausage from this, yet Spider-Man was still able to fight, even with his rotting body. If that wasn't enough, recall how he was able to grab Zombie Quicksilver. This Zombified form may not be as fast as himself at his prime, but he was still fast enough to travel across the world and infect others before the countries could even raise the alarm.
Thea: Please tell me we can kill him.
Bryant: We can. Via decapitation and specific nanites. Nanites that Zombie Spider-Man altered and used to permanently end the Zombie Infection, with the exception of Zombie Sentry, who was sent into the past to contain the infection of both universes for all eternity. Put an end to this sad, horrific story. With his last words being used to thank his once bitter enemy, Sandman, for avenging the deaths of Aunt May, and Mary Jane.
Thea: He never did manage to get over being a zombie. But in the end, he really did manage to be a hero, saving the world, one last time. Now, I'm going to go and take a five hour break to watch Gakuen Babysitters.
(Zombie Spider-Man) Why do I seem to hurt people, no matter how I try not to? Is this the price I must always pay for being... Zombie Spider-Man?
-Line Break-
Vampire Batman:
Bryant: You know how the story goes. Bruce Wayne was born the heir to Wayne Industries. His parents were murdered, which eventually led to Bruce becoming Batman. However, one night in Gotham City, he found several bodies with their throats ripped out. While investigating this, Bruce found himself being unable to go out in sunlight, and becoming much more powerful.
Thea: Pretty soon, he found out two things. One: this is a vampire story. Two: He was a vampire! Turned into one by this vampire woman named Tanya. She turned him into a vampire to fight Dracula, the leader of the vampires. Of course he's the leader, it's Dracula.
Bryant: Eventually, Batman succeeded, by impaling him on a tree that had been knocked down by lightning. Unfortunately, this came at a cost, as he lost the last of his human blood to Dracula, turning Batman into a full on vampire. Using a blood substitute, he was able to continue fighting crime as Batman, but he found that there were multiple vampires still alive, and being led by Joker. After the death of Catwoman, who was a werewolf, Batman lashed out, killing Joker with one savage blow that broke his neck before draining him of all his blood.
Thea: But Bats is all about not killing people, so he decided to kill himself with a stake to the heart, to make sure he didn't use these powers for evil. But, that just made things even worse.
Bryant: See, in this universe, a stake through the heart only makes the vampire unable to move, like a full body paralysis. Crime rose as he laid in his coffin, as did his bloodlust. His body decayed, and his thirst for blood made him mad. Desperate to stop the rising of crime in the city, Alfred eventually pulled out the stake in Batman's heart, but in doing so, he released an even greater evil. A Bat-Man, slave to his vampire desires.
Thea: And being a vampire means that it's going to be really hard to stop him. He has way too many abilities. Bat-Man's already a genius detective, and he still has that intellect as a vampire. He's a master of 127 martial arts, he can see in the dark, has a crazy sense of smell and hearing, and can shapeshift into mist and a giant bat!
Bryant: He's also able to use hypnosis, turn others into vampires with his venomous saliva, attack with his sharp fangs and claws, and can fly using his massive bat wings. He can rejuvenate himself with the blood of the living, and can't age.
Thea: If that wasn't enough, he's got a bunch of weapons to use. He's got his classic Batarangs, which can be explosive, corrosive, or foldosive.
Bryant: Foldosive?
Thea: Shut up. But after deciding to take on the vampire threat, he decided to upgrade his gear with silver Batarangs, wooden stakes, wooden throwing daggers with silver inside, and axes. Perfect for hunting your average vampire.
Bryant: Vampire were already tougher than normal humans. But Bat-Man can increase this durability with his signature Batsuit. This suit is made of kevlar, has a built-in taser, and a cape meant for gliding.
Thea: He has wings. Why would he need that cape? He also has a lot more stuff, but he's been taking to using his vampire abilities over his gadgets.
Bryant: It's true, most of his gadgets became pretty moot.
Thea: He's strong enough to rip out a cement and metal drain, break stone stalactites, smash apart walls, and rip the heads off of other vampires. He can even lift a car like it's made of Styrofoam!
Bryant: In terms of speed, he can move fast enough to catch arrows from the air. Arrows from a crossbow usually move at around 204.5 miles per hour. And Bat-Man caught them like they were moving at 1 mile per hour.
Thea: He's killed most of his villains, got shot by a crossbow and barely flinched, got shot by multiple handguns and barely flinched, had a coffin smashed over his head, and decapitated a bunch of people with just a swipe of his hand. Please tell me we can kill him too.
Bryant: We can. Holy water, which is like acid to a vampire. Crosses, which burn him if he gets too close, garlic, silver weapons, including his own batarangs, and sunlight. And even though a stake through the heart won't kill him, it will make him completely unable to move. Still, even with all these weaknesses, Bat-Man was able to go on a long rampage, killing many in the City of Gotham, before finally dying, walking into sunlight after the death of both Alfred and Commissioner Gordon. Finally getting the peace he so longed for.
Thea: Yeah, if a vampire ever appears here, I'm going to call Simon Belmont instead.
(Vampire Batman) Wake up Gordon, you damned mortal fool! Kill me, or join me!
-Line Break-
Bryant: You good Thea?
Thea: Yeah, I'm good.
Bryant: In that case, the stage is set, time to start this dance.
Thea: Battle ready, set, GO!
-Line Break-
"Dude, what the hell are we doing?!" a thug hissed to his partner. The two were trying to load a massive crate into the back of his truck. The first thug looked around nervously.
"Look man, we just need to get this crate back to the base. Then we'll be filthy rich!" the second thug said greedily.
"Filthy… do you have any idea how dangerous this is?!" the first thug hissed angrily. A third thug popped his head out of the van.
"Hurry it up!" he said annoyingly. A figure shot by, causing the three to pause and look around.
"What the hell was that?" the third one said nervously. The first two took out pistols, readying them.
"Was that the Zombie? Or the Bat?" the first asked, scared. The second opened his mouth to answer, only to scream as a bloody vein shot out and grabbed him, pulling him into the shadows. The first freaked, trying to dive into the van. Another figure shot through the air and grabbed him, carrying him off into the sky. The third thug shouted in fear as he closed the window and tried to drive off. Keyword, tried. Two figures came in out of nowhere, slamming into the van and tearing it apart. The thug fell to the ground before scrambling to his feet. A red and blue figure leapt onto him, ripping him apart with his mouth. He stood and looked at the black and grey figure behind him.
"More… give me more!" Zombie Spider-Man yelled as he leapt at Vampire Batman.
Time to feast.
Fight!
Spider-Man shot a vein towards Bat-Man. Bat-Man grabbed the vein and pulled the zombie into a powerful kick. He charged towards Spider-Man and swung a powerful fist into his face, sending him flying into a piece of the van. Spider-Man grabbed the van piece and hurled it towards Bat-Man. Bat-Man leapt into the air, using his wings to float in the air above him.
"You're a monster. There's no way you can be allowed to live!" he yelled as he swooped down. Spider-Man jumped and leapt off the wall, shooting towards Bat-Man and spiking him down to the ground. Bat-Man let out a grunt of pain as he slammed into the ground. Spider-Man fell down, bringing his fist down towards Bat-Man. The Vampire pulled his legs up and kicked the Zombie away before pushing himself up. The two leapt towards each other once again. Spider-Man swung his fist again, Bat-Man swinging back. Their fist collided, but Spider-Man continued going through, to his surprise. Bat-Man turned into mist before reforming behind the zombie.
"What the?!" Spider-Man looked over his shoulder before Bat-Man slammed him down with a powerful axe-kick. Spider-Man got up shakingly. Bat-Man showed up behind Spider-Man, sending him flying with another kick. Spider-Man got up again, seeing Bat-Man disappearing into mist again.
"What the hell… Come on! Let's see what you can actually do!" Spider-Man yelled. Sensing something behind him, he whirled around and slammed a fist into Bat-Man's stomach, causing him to bend over in pain. Spider-Man flip-kicked Bat-Man into the air before pulling him down with his veins and punching him several times before swinging him around and throwing him against the wall of the nearby building, sending him through. Bat-Man stood up before turning into mist again as Spider-Man shot through the hole swinging again. Spider-Man quickly jumped to his feet, snarling as he looked around. Bat-Man appeared again next to Spider-Man, slashing him with his Batarangs and kicking him away. Spider-Man shot another vein towards Bat-Man, only to yell in pain as the vampire cut it with another Batarang. Bat-Man rushed up to the zombie and grabbed him by the head, slamming him against the wall.
"Time for my feast." Bat-Man said before crunching down into Zombie Spider-Man's shoulder. His eyes widened before throwing Spider-Man away, gagging as he spat out the blood.
"Disgusting, right?" Spider-Man laughed before picking up a large chunk of the wall and hurling it through the air. Bat-Man quickly turned into mist, going outside of the building, with Spider-Man giving chase. Reforming, Bat-Man threw several silver Batarangs toward the zombie. Spider-Man dodged the first few before using his veins to swing the last two back towards Bat-Man. Bat-Man flapped his wings, swerving around the silver weapons. He grunted as he was caught by one of the veins and pulled in for another punch. Spider-Man quickly punched Bat-Man several times before uppercutting him. He shot another vein and slammed him down against the ground. Spider-Man jumped towards him again, punching him several times and kicked him against the wall again. Bat-Man dodged the next kick which smashed the wall. Shooting out an elbow, he nearly cracked Spider-Man's jaw before grabbing him by the suit and throwing him through the air. Flapping his wings, he shot towards Spider-Man, grabbing him and throwing him higher into the air.
"You will die!" Bat-Man yelled as he flew after him. Spider-Man looked down, only to get grabbed by the face. Bat-Man hurled the two down towards the street with the intention of smashing his skull into the ground. Spider-Man brought up his hands and slammed his fists against Bat-Man's back, before the two began grappling violently. Spider-Man stunned Bat-Man with a jab to the face and threw him down under him. Bat-Man yelled in pain as Spider-Man slammed him against the ground, sending debri everywhere. Spider-Man flipped backwards. Bat-Man slowly got to his feet.
"Time to feast!" Spider-Man shrieked as he leapt forward. Bat-Man caught the zombie and threw him against the ground, slamming into the ground as he punched him over and over again.
"Die already!" Bat-Man yelled as he raised his fist again. Spider-Man rolled to the side, dodging the hit. Bat-Man turned, quickly pulling out a silver Batarang to hurl at Spider-Man. Time seemed to slow as the two readied themselves. Bat-Man threw the Batarang, but Spider-Man caught it and plunged it into Bat-Man's heart, throwing him back. Bat-Man staggered back, trying to pull the Batarang out. Spider-Man didn't let him as he tackled him to the ground.
"I'm sorry." Spider-Man said before diving in. Bat-Man's enraged scream rang out, but was cut off by a wet crunch. The city was silent as the sound of ripping flesh and breaking bones filled the street.
KO!
Thea: Ugh, I think I'm gonna hurl.
Bryant: Zombies may be inferior to vampires naturally, but Zombie Spider-Man was superior to Vampire Batman.
Thea: Bat-Man definitely had several things over Zombie Spider-Man. He had more abilities from his vampire transformation than Zombie Spider-Man, he had more weapons, more gadgets, a better suit, and was smarter, with better stealth. But Spider-Man just had him beat.
Bryant: Even if we were to assume that Zombie Spider-Man was weaker than himself in his prime and that Vampire Batman was much stronger than his human self, this still didn't close the gap between the two in terms of strength.
Thea: Vampire Batman was strong enough to smash apart a brick wall. Zombie Spider-Man was strong enough to rip into Galactus, who took an attack from Odin strong enough to destroy the Solar System when he's weak and barely even flinched. That's way more impressive than anything Vampire Batman could do.
Bryant: He was faster too. Bat-Man was fast enough to catch bolts from a crossbow. Said bolts are likely moving over 200 miles per hour, as that's the speed of bolts from the most common crossbow. In contrast, Zombie Spider-Man was fast enough to rip the head off of Quicksilver. Even if we were to assume that it would take him a whole day to run between North America and Europe, which is unlikely, as he could perform much greater feats of speed, like outracing a radio wave, this would still make Quicksilver moving at speeds equal to more than 117 thousand miles per hour. That's almost 590 times faster than anything Bat-Man could do.
Thea: And even though Vampire Batman had way more weapons than Zombie Spider-Man, that didn't really mean much, since they were meant for vampires, not zombies, and can be used against Bats. And it's not likely that he would want to drink Zombie Spider-Man's blood, since zombies taste terrible. And even though they both die to decapitation, it was easier for Zombie Spider-Man to decapitate Vampire Batman than it was for Vampire Batman to decapitate Zombie Spider-Man.
Bryant: Not to mention, the combination of Zombie Spider-Man's Spider Sense and Zombie Sense let him keep up with Bat-Man's transformation. And to wrap it all up, Zombie Spider-Man has been a zombie eating life throughout the Milky Way for over 40 years, while Bat-Man has only had his vampire abilities for a short period of time, probably around a few years in comparison. The zombie had much, much more experience.
Thea: Call him McGruff, because Zombie Spider-Man took a bite out of the competition. Ew. Which means this WI Battle! Are we finally done?
Bryant: Yes. You can go watch anime now.
Thea: Finally.
And there we go. The Halloween Special. I know, it's pretty long. I couldn't decide between either matchups, so I decided to do both. Now, I'm going to buy a machine gun and extra lights. See you! Oh, and the next matchup is still going to be Yang vs Bakugou.