"Hey." His voice shattered the silence that had fallen over the room and Niali tightened her grip on the glass in response, bracing for whatever was about to come out of his mouth. "How are you holding up?"
All she could do was bark out a laugh and polish off the remainder of her drink before pouring herself another one. Her failure to respond told him what he needed to know and he stepped up to lean against the counter with a frown and a soft sigh. Shepard was going to send for her any minute now and she'd need to explain herself while still reeling from what she had witnessed on Thessia. Her head was pounding and her hands had yet to stop shaking. She could feel every minor bruise and contusion on her body and even the most subtle shift made her muscles ache.
Unlike Kaidan and Shepard, Niali had not been meant for combat. She couldn't adapt as her mother had done, nor did she want to. Her place was in a lab, safe and sound. But after this latest catastrophe, maybe she didn't even deserve to be there anymore.
"If you want to talk about it, I'm―"
"No," she said abruptly, cutting him off. "There isn't anything to talk about." Niali narrowed her eyes at her drink as she twisted the bottle shut and pushed it off to the side. She should have been thanking him, not snapping at him. It was because of him that she hadn't been gunned down in those ruined streets but she couldn't bring herself to say the words, not yet.
"Okay. But if you change your mind, I'll be―"
"I said, no." Niali slammed a trembling hand down on the counter as she finally turned to look at him, her eyes glistening with tears. "This is... I'm not... I'm not supposed to even be here," she snapped. "I was never supposed to be on that stupid planet, watching people ― my people ― get slaughtered by those fucking things." Her voice cracked as she sagged against the bar stool in defeat while another wave of silence settled over them.
His expression was unreadable and after a moment, she grew agitated and looked away to sip at her drink. There was no point in pretending to be tough. Kaidan saw firsthand that Niali was as fragile as they came. She had barely been able to hold a gun let alone shoot one at a charging target. It was the first time she had been so close to death and it was far more gruesome than she had ever imagined in her own head. The screams of the dying were not ones she would soon forget and to say that she had been traumatized would have been a vast understatement.
"I believe you," he said finally, breaking the silence once more and causing her to pause mid-swallow. As her eyes drifted to him, he shifted to face her and lean his side against the counter. "I believe you," he repeated the words with more conviction and Niali's throat bobbed with obvious effort as she forced down the rest of her drink without choking.
"What?"
"I believe that you aren't from here ― now, the present." He pointed to the floor beneath his feet. "Maybe that makes me crazy too, I don't know." Kaidan shrugged his shoulders as Niali gaped at him, completely taken aback and unsure of how to properly respond. Out of everything he could've said, those were the last words she had been expecting to hear.
"Just like that?" She asked skeptically. "You believe me... just like that?"
"I have my reasons." It became clear after a brief pause that he had no intention of elaborating and the asari turned her attention back to her drink with a bemused expression. How drunk was she? Not that drunk, at least not drunk enough. It was more likely that he was just taking pity on her after that pathetic display on Thessia. "I've been thinking a lot about what you said on the Citadel about you needing to get back to 'your own time.' And it made me reconsider the possibility that you might actually be telling the truth."
"...you talked to EDI about it, didn't you?" Niali asked flatly, earning a surprised bark of nervous laughter from Kaidan. "Thought so. Then I can assume that the probability she gave you was convincing enough?"
"Well, yes... but no. She also ran a―"
"It doesn't matter though," Niali interjected. "I have a feeling that I'm never going to get back. I'm going to be stuck here and I have no idea what that means for... well, everything." How many ripples would that make, she wondered? There was no telling and Niali tipped her glass slowly from side to side, watching the vibrant purple liquid creep dangerously close to the rim. "That might not be so bad in the grand scheme of things, but there's nothing for me here. I have parents that don't even know I exist because technically, I don't. I have nowhere to live, no job... I have nothing. Not a single credit to my name to even buy myself a toothbrush..." She was rambling now and Kaidan moved closer, warily watching the liquid sloshing in her cup as she gesticulated more with each word.
"Then build something," he said simply. "Start over." Kaidan made it sound so easy and Niali paused to frown at him.
"Kaidan… it doesn't... work like that," her voice was softer now, her tone unsteady. "I can't just start a whole new life. Especially if―" Niali stopped herself suddenly and bit down on her bottom lip. "Back in my own time ― in the future ― I have my mother. I may not have many friends, but I have people that care about me. I have no one here and I'm not going to if I don't go back. Things will never be normal again, not after what I saw." She shuddered at the vivid memories and looked down at the floor. "But at least they'll be familiar and that's something, right?" There was safety in familiarity and Niali hardly noticed the glass being pried from her hands and placed off to the side.
"You have me," his voice was closer than she remembered it being a moment ago and the asari turned her head just a fraction to meet his gaze. She barely knew him and yet the way he looked at her sent a shiver down her spine that made her extremities tingle. It was like an electric shock to her nervous system and she quickly averted her eyes as color flooded her cheeks, turning them a rosy shade of pink.
"You've been kind to me, Kaidan, and I consider you a friend but―"
"But it isn't enough," he finished for her. Hearing him say the words made her feel ashamed and she wrung her hands together now that she no longer had a drink to hold onto.
"What you're feeling is a response driven by your empathy and pity," she explained. "You feel sorry for me and understandably so. I am... pretty pathetic," she laughed bitterly. "That was made evident by the way I fumbled my way through the mission on Thessia. And I appreciate your help with that, but I―"
"With all due respect, Niali, I don't think you have any right to tell me what I should or shouldn't be feeling," he said defensively.
"With all due respect, Kaidan, I don't think you should try to pretend like you give a damn at all," she shot back. "If you have some asari fantasy that you want to live out then just say so. But don't try to use your feelings as an excuse."
"Seriously?" Kaidan snorted in disbelief. "That's what you think this is? That I have some kind of... some kind of asari fetish, or fantasy, or whatever?"
"Why else would you be standing here? I'm not drunk enough for you to take advantage of me," she warned him.
"Oh for God's sake..." He rolled his eyes in exasperation and threw a hand up in the air. "This is ridiculous. You sound ridiculous. Don't flatter yourself by assuming that I want to sleep with you. I've been stuck with you since your sorry blue ass was dragged onto this ship so forgive me for thinking that maybe after all that time we may have actually become friends."
"We are friends, and I wasn't assuming anything!" Niali retorted, twisting her expression into one of indignation. "But your body language says otherwise. I can smell your soap." She realized now that his hair was still damp from his shower and the scent of his soap was not at all unpleasant as it cloyed at the air.
"So? Would you rather I not shower at all?" He asked dryly.
"So," she responded tersely, ignoring his sarcastic retort, "it means that you're standing closer than necessary and― Hey! What did you do with my drink?" Her empty hand opened and closed as she twisted around to search for the glass, realizing belatedly that it was no longer in her grasp.
"I think you've had enough. I doubt Shepard will appreciate you being drunk when she speaks to you," Kaidan crossed his arms over his chest in silent challenge.
"I am nowhere near being drunk and I think I deserve a little something after nearly having my head blown off by Reapers," she grumbled. "And no, I still don't want to talk about it," Niali added.
"I wasn't going to ask," Kaidan sighed and shook his head. "Fine. Keep drinking," he pushed the glass back towards her, but all she could do was glare. As much as she wanted to grab it and down the contents in a single gulp, she was feeling particularly stubborn and she crossed her arms tightly over her chest to mimic his pose.
"You were thinking about it," she grumbled as a pregnant pause shifted the atmosphere of the room before he spoke again.
"Seeing combat for the first time... touching the face of Death..." He shook his head and looked towards the far wall, watching the stars twinkle through the window. "You think you know what you're getting into but you have no idea. The adrenaline and the fear are the only things keeping you from just turning around and finding a dark hole to hide in until it's over." His voice was quiet and Niali could feel her irritation start to dissipate. She didn't interrupt him this time and the crease in her brow smoothed. "Nothing can prepare you for that but you handled yourself well, all things considered. Your aim could use a little work though," the corner of his lips twitched into a subtle smirk and Niali found herself laughing at his little jab.
"I didn't hit you, did I?" The asari responded with a roll of her eyes. "Besides, that's what shields are for. You would've been fine even if I had missed."
"We typically don't condone friendly fire in the Marines," Kaidan said with a wave of his hand as his smirk grew.
"I'm not a Marine," she reminded him, shrugging her shoulders.
"You might want to consider a career change after this. You never know. I hear those asari commando units can be something else." There was another pause as she searched his face without reservation, taking in every minute detail.
"Kaidan, I―" She sopped herself and pressed her lips together, unsure of how to proceed without stumbling over her words. After another moment of anxious thought, she exhaled and continued. "I never thanked you for what you did back on Thessia. My 'sorry blue ass' was dead weight but you didn't have to look out for me like that. So... thank you." Uncrossing her arms, Niali took to wringing her hands together instead.
"You came through for me when it mattered too. Liara and I would've been overrun by those husks if you hadn't stepped in," he reminded her. "And, uh... sorry about that," he apologized sheepishly.
"Sorry for assuming you have an asari fetish," she raised an eyebrow skeptically. "You don't have one... right?"
Kaidan released a loud laugh that had her grinning sheepishly. "No. I don't have one," he said through bouts of laughter. It was refreshing to hear his laughter cut through the lingering tension between them. For as much as she didn't want to like him, Kaidan Alenko was a good man and a damn good soldier. If she had been less apprehensive about speaking to the others on the ship, she may have found herself saying the same about any one of them. But he was the only one that hadn't ostracized her; not that she could blame any of them, she was a stranger on their ship, after all. They had quite literally plucked her out of space to bring her aboard and she glanced past him towards the door.
"Do you think she'll believe me?" Niali asked, her expression serious and her voice quiet.
"I don't know," he admitted. "But I think you may be surprised. After what she's been through... anything is possible. I should've believed you sooner."
"You believe me now. That's what matters," Niali smiled up at him and blinked in surprise when strong arms reached out to envelop her. Kaidan didn't pull her close, at least not right away. Her body went rigid in his grasp, but her muscles relaxed after a moment and she stepped into his embrace, bringing her own arms around his solid frame. Resting her head against his chest, Niali focused on the rhythm of his beating heart. Kaidan was warmer than she had anticipated and before she knew what she was doing, her eyes were closing and her body was melting into his.
It was hard to say how long they stood like that, but it was EDI that finally broke them apart. "Shepard is ready to see you now, Dr. Jones." The voice startled Niali from her trance and her eyes opened wide in alarm.
"Oh, uh... t-thanks, EDI. I'll be right there," but not before turning to press her face into Kaidan's shoulder with a long sigh.
"It'll be okay," he murmured in reassurance. "Just tell her the truth."
"Because that worked so well the last time I tried," her dry words were muffled by his shirt and he laughed, giving her a final squeeze before releasing her.
"Yeah, well... She tends to be a little less of a skeptic than I am on most things. Believe it or not, Shepard is quite the optimist."