"Oh for the love of crap, make it stop!"

Seto lowered the book he was reading out on the back patio and frowned. He turned his head towards the large, sliding doors, leaning back in his chair to get a better view.

"'Tem?" He called out, closing the novel and setting it on the table in front of him. "What are you doing in there?"

"I'm dying!" Atem wailed dramatically; Seto then heard one of the utensils drawers opening and slamming shut. "I'm going to die from this unending pain!"

"What the… why are you dying?" Seto blinked and finally stood, walking into the kitchen. "What the hell is going on?"

"I said I'm dying!" Atem snapped back, almost tearfully. He sat on one of the kitchen chairs, left foot raised up and a fork in his hand. Seto then noticed his lover's ankle was quite red and had a bunch of raised welts leading from the top of his foot to about the middle of his calf.

"Jesus, Atem, what the hell are you doing?!" He shouted and marched over and snatched the fork, causing his boyfriend to whine and try to grab it back.

"Don't! I must destroy this pain before it kills me!"

"Why are you scratching yourself with a fork?!" Seto asked firmly, holding the utensil up and away from Atem's grabby hands. "You're digging in so hard I'm sure you'll start bleeding."

Atem whined louder and decided to just use his fingernails instead, dragging them over his skin. "But it itches!"

"What itches?!"

"My foot!" Atem shouted and kicked out with his leg, somehow managing to press the sole into Seto's stomach. "Cut off my foot, it's too late for me!"

Seto rolled his eyes and grabbed Atem's foot with both hands, "You are such a dramatic princess," he snubbed and ran his thumb over the top of the egyptian's foot. Through all the redness and welts, he discovered Atem's source of lamentation. "... you have a mosquito bit."

"Mosquito?!" Atem shouted. "Oh Gods, I truly am going to die! I can already feel the fever!"

With a snort of derision, Seto tugged on Atem's foot, forcing him to scoot down in the chair. "Oh shut up you're not going to die, and there hasn't been a case of malaria or west Nile in Japan. It's just a bite that should go down in a few days."

Atem gawked. "A few days? A few days?! I'm going to have to suffer this for a few days?!"

"Oh my god, you are so fucking dramatic, can I return you to the afterlife?" Seto groaned and rubbed his face. Without much of a thought, he grabbed Atem and tossed him over his shoulder, ignoring the undignified shriek and the pounding on his back.

"Seto Kaiba, you put me down this instant!"

"I'm taking you to the bathroom where the medicine cabinet is," Seto said calmly, walking up the stairs. "Where, if you had asked, I store spray specifically to help with bug bite itches."

"Wait," Atem braced his arms on his lover's back, straining to look at his face. "You're saying there is medicine?"

"Yes," Seto smirked and finally pulled Atem around and sat him down on the toilet. "Much better than a fork."

"Oh thank the gods," Atem sighed with relief. "Just so you know, I hate bugs in Japan."

"Seems they hate you too, now sit still."

Atem pouted but did as Seto requested, letting him apply the cooling medicine to his skin.

He wondered if bugs could be sent to the Shadow Realm.