I don't own Twilight or its characters. Stephenie Meyer does.
Cheryl and Gabby, thank you for pre-reading, and April, thank you for editing. Any mistakes left are my own.
Ch. 13
Bella frowned. "Why should I? How would I know if anything you tell me is the truth? I don't trust you."
BPOV
I crossed my arms as I stared at the man I had once loved. I hated that I was curious to hear what he wanted to tell me. However, I felt I deserved answers. But I didn't know if I could trust that they were going to be honest ones.
"Because I owe you the truth." Edward held up his hands, then they dropped to his sides. "But I guess, you'll have to judge for yourself if you believe me or not. I understand I destroyed any trust you had in me, and I'll work to get it back. Starting with my name, which is Anthony Edward Masen III."
"I know. Carlisle told me. But it should've come from you years ago," I stated, rolling my eyes. "Fine, I will listen to you. But after I go to the market to get food and without an audience listening and adding their commentary."
"How about you two talk and we'll go to the market for you?" Emmett suggested.
"I need tampons," I told him, thinking it was going to buy me more time.
Emmett smirked. "I have a sister, mother, and a wife, been there before. Now what type and size?"
"Someone married you?" I snorted.
"Yup, Rose." He smiled and puffed up his chest.
"Huh." I was a little surprised with how on and off they used to be.
His smile faded slightly. "That's right, you two aren't exactly friends. So did you really need those tampons or were you only stalling?"
My shoulders sagged. "Fine. I just need some food for a week or so."
The guys all exchanged looks and immediately my guard went up again.
"What? I haven't agreed to go anywhere with you," I pointed out.
"True," Edward reluctantly agreed. "But you can't stay here. The Costas will find you."
"How? My mom has only been here twice, and besides, she did help me escape and thinks I went to Chicago. I doubt she'll think of this place, let alone tell them that I'm here," I argued.
"She wouldn't have to. A simple record search of properties that your father owns will tell them places to look," Jasper explained.
I frowned. I didn't think of that, but as soon as he said it—it made sense. I would have to move on sooner than I wanted. Perhaps, I could get to Canada from here.
"Bella, I know you're furious with me. But please don't let your anger sway your options. We know how to help you if you'd give us the chance. If you still don't trust me after we talk, then I'll back off and let Emmett and the rest of my family help you," Edward suggested.
"I'm not agreeing to anything right now," I said.
Days
I waited in the living room of the Cullen's house while Edward went to turn on the electricity and the heat. I chose a chair to sit in and wrapped a throw blanket around me. I wasn't about to sit on the couch where it would give Edward the opportunity to sit next to me.
Edward walked in carrying two mugs and a sweatshirt draped over his elbow. He placed the mugs on the table, then handed me the sweatshirt.
"We don't have much in the house. But Aunt Esme had some hot chocolate in the cabinets. Sorry there aren't any marshmallows," he said.
"Thank you…wait, this is my old sweatshirt. I thought I lost this." I held it up to look at it better.
"Yeah…um, I guess my next confession is I hid it from you after you almost drowned wearing it." He refused to meet my eyes.
"Seriously?" I muttered under my breath as I slipped it on. However, the sweatshirt was the least of my concerns.
"Where would you like me to start?" Edward seemed apprehensive.
"The beginning. Why didn't you ever tell me your real name?" I asked.
"I hate my full name. Being the third sounded snotty and pretentious, that and Emmett liked to refer to me as the turd."
I snorted the hot chocolate and coughed while trying not to laugh. "Please tell me he was still a kid."
"It was up until he was ten. My aunt caught him, and he was punished for it." Edward scowled. "Anyways, I preferred to be known as Edward. When we first met it was what I was going by, so it was how I was introduced. It is not any different than you being introduced as Bella but me not knowing that you're really Isabella."
"I disagree," I huffed. I was tired arguing about his name. "Let's move on. Was there anyone else?"
"What do you mean?" He looked confused.
"I mean were there any other girls besides me? Did you cheat on me? Or were you cheating on someone else with me? Or did you only use me for sex?" I demanded.
He sat up straight and his face looked murderous. "No. How could you even ask me that?"
"Well, you're the one who didn't consider our relationship real." I tossed up my hands.
"I never said that." He wagged a finger at me.
"You—"
He held up his hands to stop me. "Let me explain, please. I know I screwed up my explanation last time."
He took a deep breath and ran his hand through his hair. "Here at the lake is my escape from my real life in Chicago. But it doesn't mean my time here was fake. I know it doesn't make sense, which is why I have a hard time explaining it. All the best times of my life have been here, and with you; except for the very last day. And there has never been anyone while I was with you or since. I still maintain I made love to you when we were here. It may have been selfish of me, knowing it wouldn't last forever. But I love you, whether you believe it or not. And I wanted to be with you in every way possible before I lost you. You're probably not going to believe me, but you're the only girl I have been with in that way."
I thought over what he said and didn't know how to respond. My mind was reeling with what he was proclaiming. Part of me was relieved there was no one else. But another part of me was hesitant to believe if that was true. Rosalie also seemed to think he didn't cheat. I was still having a hard time understanding how he didn't think here was real life. It was all very real to me.
He sighed. "My life in Chicago is very complicated. It started the summer I turned fourteen. I found out a very big, dark family secret." He paused so he could take a sip of his cocoa.
"Rosalie told me what happened to her mom and yours. I wish you'd told me about it then," I said quietly.
Edward didn't look angry, but he furrowed his brows. "How much did she tell you?"
"Not very much, except it was a home invasion by someone who wanted revenge against your dad," I answered.
"Rose may not know everything herself still. I found out more details over the years. Thomas Laurent raped my aunt before killing her. My mom was pregnant and lost the baby in the attack. Neither of my parents recovered from it right away. I lived with my Aunt Esme and Uncle Carlisle until I was six. My mother had gotten help by that point and was in a better place mentally and emotionally, so I moved back home to Chicago for the school year. However, it was too much on my mother to have an active kid around in the city and she wanted me to enjoy my childhood, so my summers were in Seattle. She used to spoil me to make up for it. In fact, my jet ski was more of a guilt gift than a birthday present." He took another deep breath and leaned against the cushions of the couch.
"I realize now, my father didn't get better, neither did my Uncle Peter. Dad blames himself for what happened to my mom and her twin sister. Apparently, Laurent got off on a technicality and there was a mistrial—he got to go free. That's when my dad and Uncle Peter decided to take things into their own hands," he explained.
"Vigilantes?" I muttered.
Edward snorted. "Sort of. More like assassins. It started off with Laurent, then more followed. They've reasoned what we do is okay because they only go after the guilty. Rapists, murders, abusers, child molesters…" He trailed off. "They've done it a few times for money, but most of the time it's to rid the world of the bad guys. They do make sure the person is guilty before ending their life."
"Did you really kill James?" I asked.
"I won't apologize for protecting you." He glared into his cup and gripped it so tightly his knuckles turned white.
"Answer the question."
"Yes."
"How? You were only fourteen?" I gasped.
"I wasn't alone. We drugged him, then faked a car crash in the middle of the night. I wasn't going to let him get a chance to touch you." Edward met my eyes and I was startled by the coldness in them.
"I was already at my dad's." I shook my head.
"I didn't know if you'd go back to your mom's. And—" He stopped abruptly.
"And?" I prompted.
"You weren't the only one he targeted. Turns out there were many girls he was responsible for abusing then killing. We found a girl tied up in his basement the night we took care of him. She…it's too terrible to tell you and invades her privacy, so I can't share more." He looked tortured by the memories.
"I won't ask you to," I agreed.
We both were silent for a moment.
"Why? Why get in a relationship with me when you never had any intention of it going anywhere?" I asked.
"That's not completely true," he stated.
"Don't start lying to me now." I raised my voice.
"I'm not," he growled, then shook his head and held it with both hands in frustration.
"Did I know the odds weren't in our favor? Yes. But I wanted them to be. When I was with you, I was happy, and I wanted to stay in our bubble forever. You helped me forget all the shit in my life by just being there. I wanted to go to U-Dub with you. I wanted to move in with you our second year and even—" He flushed red.
"And even?" I urged.
"I even thought about us getting married here at the lake. Having our own house one day to bring our kids to." His ears turned pink.
Edward's admission, thinking about a future with me was surprising. I spent the last few years under the impression that I'd only been a plaything.
Edward clasped his hands in front of him. "Emmett was wrong, I did fill out an application. But it never got sent in because my father shot down the idea. He wanted me to stay in Chicago to continue in his footsteps and to care for my mom when he wasn't there. As time went on, he'd gotten increasingly paranoid something would happen to her. His anxiety has rubbed off me, and I was terrified of the idea of what could happen to you in Chicago. You'd be put in harm's way, from what my family and I had done."
"It was safe enough for Tanya and Rosalie?" I pointed out.
"Tanya is only there for the holidays. She's actually going to Dartmouth in New Hampshire, studying to be a nurse. Rosalie… well she got involved with helping for a while. She basically volunteered herself to be bait," Edward explained.
"You're kidding me?" I was shocked.
"No. It was part of the reason her and Emmett were off and on for a while. Emmett was against the idea. Rosalie didn't like him telling her what to do. Then last year, we were almost too late, and it shook her up. She now wants out," he said.
"And you?" I asked. "Heidi mentioned you were going to Harvard. Well, actually she said the plant college in Boston."
He smirked. "Cover story for a job in Boston. We take turns going now."
I still couldn't get over that I was looking at a killer, no matter the reason. "Do you enjoy killing people?"
He shook his head. "No. I hate it."
His confession made me feel slightly better. "Then don't do it anymore."
"It's not that easy. The Costa family needs to be stopped first." I watched as a blank look slid over his face like a hardened mask.
"Not on my account. Leave it for the authorities, we can contact the FBI or something. I'll tell them everything I heard," I suggested.
"Too much red tape for them to get through. There are a lot of innocent lives at stake and I won't risk you being one of them. I will keep you safe, and I won't apologize for what I need to do to do it!" he snapped.
"Apparently." I huffed; my anger started to build. "I've listened to your explanations, but yet you offered no apologies for any of it. How about apologizing for lying to me for years? Or how about apologizing for not trusting me like I did you? I used to confide in you about everything. You were my best friend, not just my boyfriend. You confided in me about nothing. I should have been the one you turned to when you hated your life in Chicago or how things really were with your parents. How about apologizing for that?" I blurted out.
"You didn't tell me everything." Edward scoffed.
"I did too. You were the only one I could talk to about my parents' divorce and James," I argued.
"Not everything about James." Edward shook his head.
"Yes. I. Did," I insisted through gritted teeth.
"Really? Then what was up with your sweatshirt and other very baggy shirts? Every time a guy came close to you, you'd shy into me and cross your arms over your chest. He did that," he pointed out.
"What are you talking about? You used to glare at any guy who came near me and pull me to you." I shook my head.
The anger left his face and was replaced with concern. "No…lov...Bella. Well, I did but only after I saw how uncomfortable you were. Maybe…maybe you didn't realize you were doing it," he explained. "It's also why Chief pushed so hard for you to take self-defense classes."
I felt confused. Could he be right? "I know I was self-conscious the first summer after James. But I got over it."
"There was a big difference the second summer. You weren't as jumpy, I guess you weren't aware yourself of how you were reacting. I'm sorry for jumping to conclusions," he said softly.
"That still doesn't make what you did right." I shrugged.
His shoulders sagged. "No. It doesn't. I am sorry for all the lies I told you. I am sorry for hurting you the way I did. Do you think you could ever forgive me?"
"I don't even know who you are anymore," I told him.
"I'm still the Edward you met. You're still wearing the necklace I gave you. That has to mean something," he insisted.
I touched my neck and realized I never took it off in my haste to escape. I unclasped it and held it out to him. "I should have given this back to you long ago."
"It's yours." He shook his head.
"I was only wearing it because it was only thing that went with my New Year's dress and I forgot to take it off. I hadn't worn it in years." I dangled it for a few more moments before letting it drop on the table. "And you're wrong. You're not Edward—you're Anthony."
"Bella, please forgive me and give me a second chance." He reached out his hand for mine.
I drew back away from him. "You've got to be kidding me. You want a second chance now? Why, because I'm in danger?"
"No, because I still love you," he said.
"If you still love me like you say, then why is it taking it until now to confess everything. Why not years ago?" I demanded.
"Because I'm an idiot, who thought I didn't stand a chance and…" He squeezed his eyes shut.
"And because you were still trying to protect me." I finished for him. "So it is because I'm in danger now."
"Bella—" He didn't finish.
"I'm going to be honest and tell you I don't know if I can forgive you. You gave me a lot to process, and I can't make that decision in the matter of seconds," I told him.
He looked resigned and nodded slightly. "That's fair. Would you please let us help you, at least?"
I hesitated. As much as I hated it, I was in over my head. I wouldn't be able to do this on my own. Especially, if I wanted them to help my mom get out. "Yeah. I guess so."
The front door opened, and the guys came in carrying a couple of bags. Definitely not enough for weeks but only a day or two.
"Well, you're both still alive and neither of you are bleeding, so I take it that it went well?" Emmett asked, looking between us.
Instead of answering him, I got to my feet, then went over and held out my hand.
"Thank you for going to the store. If you give me my stuff, I'll head back to my cabin now," I told him.
Emmett held on to the bags. "Yeah about that. I don't think it's a wise idea. Besides having a few gangsters after you, there's no heat or water at your place. We checked it out on our way in. We also drove up several driveways and walked around so ours and yours doesn't stick out."
"That was a good idea," Edward said in agreement.
"I guess that explains why I was still cold this morning," I commented. "Fine. I'll stay."
"You didn't notice you had no water?" Jasper asked.
"No, I only used the toilet once and used hand sanitizer since I was out of soap. I also had leftover juice from a pitstop that I finished," I answered.
"I don't know about you guys, but I'm starved. Let's get something to eat and figure out what we are going to do next," Emmett suggested.
A/N:
I hope this gives you guys some answers you have been looking for. Edward didn't purposely use her for sex even though it comes across that way. He was 18 and got simply carried away.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts with me.
Additional notes: A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words is having a Halloween image edition. You can find the rules in Facebook group: groups/ 460094101314978