May the stars guide us home - a Finalizer story

by cliffdiving

Fallen out of favor after Kylo Ren's ascend as Supreme Leader General Armitage Hux has lost his place of prominence within the First Order. He and his crew onboard of the Finalizer are sent on a mission to the Outer Rim to investigate a series of strange disappearances clearly meant to get rid of them. What they find there will change their fates forever.

11. Aftermath

Sometimes we are tested. Not to show our weaknesses, but to discover our strengths.
- Obi-Wan Kenobi

---

It was strange how time sometimes flowed, Hux mused, especially in moments of danger. One moment dragging on nearly endlessly, the next moving so fast that you felt helpless in the face of its flow. When he and Selene ran to the waiting shuttle, the few hundred feet seemed to go on forever. He was uncomfortably aware that they were very vulnerable, until they were close enough that the shuttle's crew could give them some coverage.

Suddenly two things happened at once. A blaster shot sounded out behind them and he was shoved forward quite hard, his own momentum sending him to the stony ground painfully. When he quickly looked up to ascertain what had happened, he felt shocked disbelief flash through him. Selene was on the floor, having obviously taken a hit and a miner stood in the open doorway, his blaster still raised.

Hux somehow managed to stay rational enough to first deal with their attacker, a well-placed shot to his chest taking care of him. Then he was at his Co-Commander's side immediately. 'There is so much blood', was his first thought, and then 'no, please not her', panic nearly overtaking anything else. The coppery scent of her blood was harsh in the air, and it flowed to the ground from her chest so violently, that he could not even see, where the wound was. Wasn't that kriffing armor supposed to protect her?

Selene's eyes were closed and she whimpered in obvious pain. Blast it, he had to get a grip on himself and get her out of here. With a start, the General became aware he had not even looked out for enemies any more. When he did so, it was to a few miners leaving the building, only to be greeted by blaster fire. He glanced at the shuttle, not surprised, when he saw a few of the Zi'daya halfway on the way to him and Selene. They had obviously realized their Commander was wounded.

"Hux," Shi'seko called out, his voice urgent. "Get her here. We will give you coverage."
He would have to carry her. "Selene," he said, touching her face. She turned to him, her eyes opening laboriously. Their normal bright golden shine was weak and hazy. "Don't worry. We will get you out of here." Trusting that the Zi'daya would cover them, he put one arm under her nape and one under her legs, lifting her up. He could not help jostling her wound in the process, a pained groan escaping her, but the most important thing now was to get her to the shuttle. Away from enemy fire and to medical treatment.

As he made his way to the ship, her head lolled against his chest, her nearly being unconscious. His heart clenched at how light she felt in his arms and how pale her skin looked. There could not have been a starker contrast to the vibrant woman he was used to.

"What happened?" Shi'seko asked, his face pinched with worry, when they reached him. "Blaster bolt," Hux answered, as he made his way up the shuttle's ramp. "The shooter appeared out of nowhere. I didn't…" He carefully put Selene on one of the shuttle's medical cots, only dimly aware that two others were already occupied. "Is your armor not supposed to stop those?"

"Your standard blasters perhaps, certainly not one of our own. And that was a direct hit." It was Khi'sheko, who answered him, stepping up to the cot, his normally good-natured smile replaced by deep worry as well. "If she had not worn that armor, it would have gone right through her."

Suddenly, Hux remembered that shove, right before she was hit. That blaster bolt had never been meant for her, he thought. Oh blast it, Selene, you reckless, stubborn…

The world tilted a little bit and he felt more than a little unsteady. Why in the blazes of the universe had she done that?

Groaning Selene began to move violently on the cot, clearly in agony. Now the first shock was over, the pain started to register. Hux realized that the two Zi'daya were just staring, obviously at a loss what to do. Did they not have any kriffing medical training in the Zi'daya military?

"Get me something against the pain," he ordered curtly, expecting that one of his troopers would carry out the order. He carefully grabbed Selene's shoulders trying to keep her on the cot without hurting her. As she started to whimper again, straining against his hold, he looked up angrily. Where were those kriffing pain killers? A hand held an application devise in front of him. AN-3478. Without his helmet, his dark-skin gleaming with sweat, but the General had more important things to worry about at the moment.

He quickly put the devise to his Co-Commander's neck, the effect immediate, as she started to relax. Now, they had to staunch that bleeding. He needed some bacta.

"Did you just give her the whole thing?" Khi'sheko asked with wide eyes, obviously getting out of the stupor he had been in, since Hux brought in his wounded Commander. "Yes, why?"

The Zi'daya made a face. "She does not react well to those painkillers, gets all drugged up."

Hux felt a flash of annoyance. "Well, I still think that is preferable to writhing in pain."

AN-3478 brought him some bacta then and Hux made a mental note to remark on his competence later. He pulled off his gloves and touched the side of Selene's face to get her attention. "Selene, we will have to get you out of that armor to treat your wound," he told her.

Her eyes opened slowly, even hazier than before. She blinked a few times. When she was able to focus on his face, she gave him a very lopsided grin. "Oh, Armitage." She looked at the ceiling. "The room is spinning like crazy. Round, round, round." She giggled and glanced at him. "You have so pretty green eyes. Like the sea at Ellesmee bay." Hux began to suspect, what exactly Khi'sheko had meant with all drugged up. The blood loss was definitely not helping as well. "I could drown in them." Registering the two Zi'daya staring at him, he began to fear this might get a little embarrassing.

Clearing his throat, he tried to pull the front of her armor down in vain. Blast it, that thing was closed in the back. "We will have to cut it off," he commented, getting out his monomolecular blade. Khi'sheko gave him a tense nod, holding the blood-soaked fabric up, so that he could cut. Fortunately, his blade proved sufficient for the task, the material parting slowly but surely, exposing her blood covered skin.

Selene giggled again. "Oh cheeky, are you cutting off my clothes, now? You should have just said you wanted me naked. I would have taken them all off for you." Her words made Khi'sheko suppress a laugh behind a snort and Shi'seko narrow his eyes at Hux angrily, making him feel like he was fondling her in front of everyone.

Blast it, he was only trying to help her after all. Hux started to wish, she were unconscious for this. Ignoring the heat rising in his cheeks, he applied the bacta to her wound. Fortunately, now that the armor was off, he could see that while it did still bleed profoundly, the wound was not all that deep, the armor having held off a lot of the impact after all.

His Co-Commander watched him doing so with a bemused smile on her face. "You are really good at this. But then you are good at many things." She added something in Zi'daya. Khi'sheko promptly lost it, laughing so hard he was gasping for air. The way Shi'seko's face turned first red and then white told Hux in which direction her words had probably gone. Oh stars.

He quickly passed the sworn protector the rest of the bacta, having seen that most of the bleeding had stopped. "I guess, you can manage the rest on your own. I will go to the cockpit and check what the situation is."

Feeling the Zi'daya captain's disapproving glare on him all the way, until he left the room, Hux swiftly made his way in the direction of the cockpit, giving AN-3478 a sign to accompany him.

"Status report, Sergeant," he addressed him shortly.

"We had to fall back to the shuttles after the first attack, since we were seriously outnumbered. We lost seven of the troopers and one of the Zi'daya on the ground, as well as our medic. Fifteen wounded, four of them severely." There was a solemn look on the stormtrooper's face, as he recapped their losses. "Our aerial forces were simultaneously attacked. Captain Trach and Major Shi'seko have been able to secure the airspace by now, but we lost two TIEs and one of the Zi'daya ships as well."

Hux absentmindedly touched a hand to the front of his coat, his fingers coming away painted in red. Although not visible on the dark color, it was completely soaked through with Selene's blood. He needed to get her to the Finalizer's medbay, as quickly as possible.

"We will achieve nothing here with the forces we have," he said and turned towards the shuttle's pilot. "Return to the Finalizer immediately. The other shuttles and the aerial squads as well." Even if his Co-Commander would not like it, he was of a mind to really deal with their enemy from out of the Star Destroyer.

Hux recalled the eerie atmosphere in the room leading down to the mining shafts, not able to completely suppress a shudder. Still, even with the force there should be no way to escape, if they just levelled the whole structure with the ion cannons, shouldn't it?

"Doctor Kline shall already prepare a transport to medbay for the wounded," Hux added, before returning to the shuttle's main space. When he stepped back to the cot Selene was lying on, he saw that her eyes were closed again, her face still awfully pale. Shi'seko was in the process of tugging a blanket around her, presumably to help with the shivers that went through her every few seconds.

"How is she?" Hux asked the Zi'daya captain softly. "Unconscious, but stable so far. Though she has lost a lot of blood. The sooner she gets to medbay the better." While there still was a distinct coldness in Shi'seko's grey eyes, that told Hux the other man was definitely not approving of whatever he had gleaned the relationship between his Commander and the General was, Selene's bodyguard was too professional to address the topic now.

"We will return to the Finalizer as quickly as possible," Hux murmured, before tearing himself away from his Co-Commander's side and having a look at the other wounded. It was harder to leave her than he would have thought, but if he was not more careful, he would only sent tongues wagging.

A few minutes later, a soft shudder signaled that the shuttle had reached the Finalizer again. Hux immediately made for the door, intend to get Doctor Kline here as soon as possible. Indeed, the doctor was already waiting in the hangar with a few of his medics and some moveable medical cots. Unfortunately, so was Captain Peavey with at least one battalion of stormtroopers

"General Hux," Peavey's voice was falsely servile, his beady little eyes holding a shrewd expression. "I fear we cannot let you back onboard without a thorough examination. As far as we know, you might be possessed as well."

That little rat was really trying to use the situation for his own advantage. The General felt anger course through him violently. "Captain, we have some wounded on board that need medical care at once. I don't have time for your silly little games."

Peavey puffed himself up in annoyance, obviously feeling very important. "First Order regulations state that in a case of unknown diseases or influences a quarantine of at least…"

The thought that Selene was lying in the shuttle bleeding and in pain, while Peavey cited kriffing regulations at him made something in Hux snap. Before he could think it through, he had drawn his blaster, pointing it directly at the red-faced captain. Peavey's eyes widened rather comically in fear. Hux' voice was ice cold, as he addressed him. "You have three seconds to get out of my way, Captain, or I will remove you myself."

With more than a little satisfaction, he noted that none of the stormtroopers seemed inclined to protect Peavey by drawing a blaster. Part of him nearly wished the other man would make a move, giving him a reason to shoot, but the captain was too spineless for that, his eyes flickering nervously.

"One," Hux started to count calmly, "two…"

"I am sure we can solve this without the need to fall back to violence," the cool voice of his Information officer interrupted the scene, before Hux could decide, if he would really go through with his promise. Opan stepped between Hux and Peavey, giving his General a stare that seemed to indicate he should rethink his actions.

He turned to Doctor Kline. "Doctor, can you examine everyone quickly to ascertain everything is alright? Perhaps the wounded first?"

"Of course," to his credit Kline was utterly composed, as he made his way to the shuttle, motioning to his medics to accompany him, especially if one took into account that one of his subordinates had just been killed during a similar task.

Peavey's face had turned a deep red, as he realized he had been completely outmaneuvered again. "Don't think that Allegiant General Pryde won't be informed about this," he hissed. "He and High Command will surely be very interested in the explanation for your behavior, General." There was a disparaging tone to his voice. "And in all the other blatant rule breaking that has been going on onboard this ship." With that threat hanging in the air ominously, the captain scurried away swiftly.

Hux watched him go with narrowed eyes, slowly putting away his blaster. "We have to get rid of him," he remarked to Opan. The blue-eyed captain gave him an assessing look. "While I do agree with you, that might not be so easy," he sighed. "In the current situation the last thing we need is an internal investigation. Pryde is just waiting for an excuse like that."

As Hux opened his mouth to answer, he was interrupted by Kline coming out of the shuttle again with one of the medical cots, a still unconscious Selene lying on it. "Ah," Opan said softly. "So that is what got you so incensed." Ignoring the other man's words, the General made a move to go to her.

Opan held him back with a surprisingly hard grip on his arm. "Blast it Armitage, did you not hear a word I just said? You can't trail after her to medbay like a lovesick puppy, while we are still in a battle situation. You have been too kriffing obvious today already," he murmured under his breath. Hux nearly snapped at him to mind his own business, but then his words registered. Unfortunately, Opan was right. He had just given Peavey and therefor Pryde a lot of ammunition against him. And he did have to go to the Command Bridge immediately. But…

Breathing in deeply, he gave the captain a curt nod. When he turned towards the hangar entrance, Doctor Kline addressed him. "Excuse me General Hux? I still have to examine you swiftly." As Hux gave him an angry glare, the doctor quickly raised his hands. "Oh, I see everything is in perfect order."

Making his way to the Command Bridge together with Opan, Hux was stopped by the sight of a couple kissing enthusiastically in one of the corridors. That pink-striped hair and tight flight suit could only belong to one of Selene's pilots. Be'amara. For a moment, he watched with something like amused disbelief, as one of her partner's hands quite openly grabbed the Zi'daya's ass and drew her against him passionately.

"Lieutenant Tosla," the General said, deciding he should intervene before this escalated even more. "Do you think this is the appropriate behavior in a public corridor?"

The two of them let go of each other at once, Tosla's angular face turning bright red, as he saw that they were not alone. "General," he stuttered, obviously at a loss what to say. Hux gave him an expectant look, curious what excuse the young officer would come up with.

Tosla cleared his throat. "Pilot Be'amara returned from the mission. I was just checking, if she was unharmed, sir."

Hux rubbed his temple; he could not deal with this now. "Well, your dedication to that task is clearly commendable." He remarked rather dryly. "I would appreciate it though, if you could restrict that kind of activities to your quarters in the future."

Tosla nodded with wide eyes, obviously surprised that he was getting off so easily. He grabbed Be'amara's hand, starting to pull her away. The Zi'daya pilot resisted though and looked at Hux. He noticed that she had not been embarrassed in the slightest by being caught kissing in public. But then Selene surely did not chastise her crew for such behavior. She would probably just give her a thumb up.

"How is Selene?" Be'amara asked, clear worry in her big brown eyes. "I heard she was hurt." Hux hesitated for a moment, not used to being questioned by the crew. Still, he could not fault her for caring for her Commander's wellbeing. "She was shot while we were planetside, yes. She is on her way to medbay though and will surely recover swiftly."

As he resumed his way to the bridge, Hux noticed Opan's sideway glances. "Well," the Captain commented. "That was unusually mellow." His face turned pensive. "Admiral Tosla is one of our last really secure allies in High Command."

"And you think I should intervene in his son's little dalliance more forcefully?" His Information's officer was probably right. The General was quite sure that this was not what Tosla senior had in mind, when he had asked him to make sure his son broadened his horizon while on his ship. After all, he could not marry the girl. However, punishing the young man for not adhering to regulations he was breaking himself, did feel a little too much like hypocrisy to him.

Opan had obviously seen his thoughts on his face, because he shook his head slightly. "Peavey is starting to suspect something. There has been more than one holocall to Pryde in the last week we were not informed of. And he tried to bribe one of the technicians in the security center, who told me instead. I had to delete a rather interesting holovid of you and your Co-Commander in the elevators today, though."

Kriff, he had actually forgotten about that slip-up. "We are treading on thin ice. We can't afford any more indications that the crew's or your relationship with the Zi'daya is anything beyond the regulations."

Hux noted that Opan was not even trying to advice him to break things off with Selene. He was already in damage control mode it seemed, having judged any attempt to do so fruitless. "I will be more careful in the future," he promised. However, he knew that was only a short-term solution. The problem was, if there was something to find, someone would find it at some point. He needed a plan to deal with Pryde, permanently.

When they stepped onto the Command Bridge, they were greeted by the ominous view of Venya planet in front of them and a very anxious bridge crew. The normal grey color of the planet was nearly entirely immersed in a deep darkness that seemed to roll and shift before their eyes. Hux felt a shiver of unease down his spine.

"How long has that been going on?"

"The complete darkness for perhaps ten minutes, sir." Lieutenant Goran answered him, her face tense. "It started drifting in shortly after you left the planet."

"Lieutenant Baska, are the drones still functioning?"

"Yes, sir, but" the Lieutenant's voice was unusually shaky. "You better see it for yourself." Hux stepped closer to the officer's console, narrowing his eyes at the view in front of him. Those rolling shadows were moving in front of the drones' cameras as well. But that close to the ground, they could see they were illuminated by blue lightening flashing through them every few seconds.

A strange high-pitched sound came out of the speakers he could not immediately place. "What is that noise?" he inquired.

"Screams," Mitaka stepped up next to him, his aide's face very pale, as he watched the holo stream as well. "They started at the same time the darkness covered the whole planet."

Hux made a split second decision. Whoever was still alive down there, death would be a mercy at this point. Selene would surely understand they had no other choice.

"Major Tark, prepare the ion cannons. Target the main building," he ordered. "Ion cannons ready," the major reported a few moments later.

Hux took a deep breath. "Fire!"

The red fire of the lasers cut violently through the shadows, before finding their targets, the glaring shine of the exploding buildings leaving flickering afterimages in front of Hux' eyes. "Keep firing," he ordered. They should make sure, that everything was completely destroyed, he thought. Who knew after all, how deep into the mining shafts their enemies had withdrawn?

As the mining station was going up in flames, the General felt the first stirrings of relief inside him. It seemed even the force was no match for a thorough bombardment after all. The shadows writhed violently away from the flames.

But then they suddenly darkened again, their movements agitated. "We lost the drones," Lieutenant Baska said, the holo screen turning dark without warning.

Disbelief making his heartbeat quicken, Hux watched, as the shadows grew impossible long tentacles reaching up from the planet's surface towards the Finalizer. "Keep firing," he called out.

More than one system began to blare out a warning, a shudder going through the ship, the floor jerking underneath his feet. "General, navigation systems are blocked," Goran reported nervously. "It is, as if something has grabbed us."

For a moment, Hux was tempted to try jumping to hyperspace to get away, but it might be too late for that. The only way to stop this, was to destroy their enemy.

"All available power into the ion cannons. We have to end this now." As the lasers kept firing on the mining building, darkness began to close around the bridge's viewport. Icy coldness was rising in the air, making a few people gasp in sudden fear.

This was turning into a race, Hux thought, his breath laborious. And then suddenly it was over, the ominous feeling in the air dissolving with the shadows.

The General put a hand on his console to steady himself. That had been a little too close. He let Major Tark fire on the building for a few moments longer to be really sure, nothing of their enemy remained, before asking for a ship wide status report. Thankfully the damages they had sustained were manageable, the worst a minor tear at one of the maintenance decks that had been easy to quarantine.

"Do you think they are all destroyed, sir?" Mitaka's eyes were wide, as he and the General looked down on the rocky planet some time later, the smoking debris of the station the only sign remaining of what had happened. Hux shook his head. "The ones that were here perhaps. But I have the feeling dealing with this enemy permanently will not be that easy."

To be honest, the way the shadows had reached for the ship, had shaken him more than he wanted to let on in front of the crew. It had been bad enough that those kriffing force users had been playing with his mind down on the planet, that they were able to attack over a distance like this was deeply disconcerting.

The next hours passed in a blur, having him deal with the aftermath of the mission. He was able to somewhat restrain himself and only contact medbay a few times over his comms. Although he tried to make it sound indifferent, as he asked for a status report on all the wounded, the way Doctor Kline snapped at him at his fourth call, "She is fine. She is sleeping. And she will be in two hours as well," told him, that he might have failed on that front.

Hux had long given up on the idea of going to his quarters to find some sleep tonight, so he was not surprised, when he realized it was actually already time for the morning meeting.

Selene's empty place beside his made something inside him clench in worry again. When he asked Khi'sheko, who had replaced her in the meeting, he only knew what Doctor Kline had told him as well. The doctor had treated her wound and given her copious amounts of blood replenisher. And she was resting now.

After the meeting, Hux finally gave in. There was an irrational but insistent part of him that just needed to see for himself that she was really alright.

Doctor Kline gave him a stern look, as he entered medbay and guided him to one of the private treatment rooms. "You may go in, but she is still sleeping. So don't wake her up, she needs the rest. I don't want her on her feet before tomorrow."

Stepping inside the room as quietly as possible, the image of his Co-Commander lying in the hospital bed made some strange feeling unfurl inside him. Dressed in a white hospital gown, her pale hair open and fanning out over the cushions, she looked incredible fragile. And very very young. Hux sat down on the chair next to the bed carefully, his eyes still trained on her face. Taking in her by now familiar features, he was taken aback by how different she seemed all pale and still. He had become so used to her passionate nature, those flashing golden eyes and wild smile that her appearing so vulnerable made him deeply uncomfortable. Something inside him longed to protect her from any more harm. His hand moved, before he could stop himself, softly caressing a strand of her hair.

Catching himself with a start, he withdrew his hand. What in the blazes of the universe was he doing? This weakness for her was becoming dangerous.

It was the kriffing thought of losing her, which had shaken him so, he thought. But then, he realized, you could not lose something you never had. And she definitely wasn't his.

Do you wish she were? The thought flashed through his mind unbidden.

Rubbing his temple tiredly, he got up, trying to get a grip on his emotions. With Pryde breathing down his neck, he could not afford to get distracted like that now. Especially not by a woman who was by all accounts, if not his enemy, not really his ally.

Notwithstanding, that she had basically thrown herself between him and a blaster bolt. He just could not comprehend, why she had done so. Perhaps the lines between them were not drawn, as rigorously as it appeared. Perhaps she felt…

He stopped that trail of thought violently. Blast it, was he really foolish enough to let the fact that they were physical intimate make him ascribe any deeper feelings to their relationship? Even if that was the case on Selene's side, he should deliberate how he could use any weakness to get her help against Pryde and Ren. However, he was strangely reluctant to draw her into that conflict. Because he did not trust her? Or because he knew quite well his odds were not the best?

Feeling bone tired the General opened one of the supply cabinets of the room. He was quite sure Kline had some stims here as a standard. Indeed, he found them after a short search, the accustomed flash of adrenaline through his veins making him at least feel, if not awake, as if he could get through the day.

"I had hoped you cut down on those," there was a distinct disapproval in his Co-Commander's voice, as it sounded out behind him. Hux looked over at her in surprise, seeing that her eyes were open. He sighed. "I actually did. But it has been a long night. Or day depending how you see it."

When he returned to the chair next to her bed, he could not help a smile playing around his lips. "However, don't worry, I don't think you have any reason for complaint on a certain front." She shook her head, obviously not amused. Hux' smile deepened. "That reminds me. Have you not been very adamant I was the last man in the Galaxy you would ever touch? There must have been some mass extinction I was not aware of."

Selene rolled her eyes. "Your restraint is very admirable, General. It took you what? Two days, until you rubbed that in my face?"

He scrutinized her, taking in her still pale cheeks and the shadows under her eyes. "How do you feel?"

"Like bantha crap," she gave a dry laugh. "A little like after a wild night out, but without any of the fun." Her eyes turned very serious, as she looked at him. "What happened? The last thing I really remember is running to the shuttle and being shot. After that it's only bits and pieces."

Hux gave her a short rundown on the situation, although he left out her comments, when she had been under the painkillers influence and his confrontation with Peavey, judging that it was irrelevant. Her face showed deep sorrow at the losses they had sustained. He was a little worried she might disapprove his decision regarding the mining station, but she just shook her head mournfully. "There was nothing else you could have done. It was a close enough call, as it is." She shuddered." Unfortunately, I agree with your assessment that whatever we encountered here, it was probably not the main force of our enemy. It is strange that we did not even find any kind of ship that brought them here."

"I do wonder, if this was not some kind of trap. They must have realized they are followed by now," Hux said, deep in thought.

Something like unease passed over Selene's features. "You know, I completely forgot to tell you earlier. There was something strange Pa'lenna said to me, when he attacked me. He talked about a Dark One, who wanted me brought to him, because I am Rhea's heir or something like that."

"What?" Hux felt horror rise up in him. So he had been right, that the Zi'daya were not a random target after all. Well, that settled it then, he would not allow her to go on any ground missions ever again. "That was probably, why he only tried to subdue you. They clearly wanted you alive."

"Doesn't feel like that so," Selene touched her chest with a wince, obviously still feeling the pain there.

"Well, that blaster shot was not meant for you, wasn't it?" Hux was watching her face avidly, trying to catch her reaction. His Co-Commander blinked, biting her lip. "I" she stuttered.

"Care to explain, why you thought it prudent to throw yourself between that blaster bolt and me?" The General could not help the nearly accusing tone of his voice.

"I did not throw myself between you and a blaster bolt. I shoved you out of the way," A distinct flush had appeared on Selene's cheeks. "It was just an instinctual reaction."

"So your first instinct in a dangerous situation is to throw yourself in front of me?"

She narrowed her eyes in annoyance. "I didn't throw… Blast it, are you actually angry at me for saving your life?"

Yes. No. Perhaps more at the way her reckless actions played havoc with his emotions. "You nearly gotten yourself killed in the process. A few inches higher and that bolt would have gone through your neck. So I do think I deserve an explanation for you irrational behavior, yes."

"Perhaps not everything can be always explained rationally. But I do hope you don't expect some kind of heartfelt declaration of my feelings now. As I said, it was an instinct, nothing more. I did not see you hesitate to help me against Pa'lenna as well." Selene's voice showed her exasperation.

"Fine," he ground out, still unsure what to think. "Fine," she repeated, clearly vexed.

She began to fiddle with the tube in her arm that led to the infusion rack next to her bed. "Oh, I hate those things, they itch like crazy."

Hux bent over her and caught her hand. "Stop that. You are only making it worse." She frowned at him. "Well, then call Doctor Kline to remove it. I can't leave with that thing in my arm"

The General shook his head. "The Doctor was adamant that you should stay until tomorrow. So you should lie back and rest."

"Definitely not. I have to have a look at the wounded Zi'daya. And you said two of my people have been killed in battle. Not to speak of the whole mining station being destroyed. There are a thousand things I have to take care of," Selene was indignant.

Why did she always had to be so contrary? "And your crew will deal with them until you feel better. Could you just follow an order for one kriffing time in your life, Selene?" he snapped at her.

"I am not one of your little soldiers you can order around, Armitage," she answered angrily.

"Oh believe me, I know," he growled. "You are impossible stubborn, reckless and irresponsible."

"Hah, you would just love to be able to order me around, wouldn't you?" His Co-Commander's face was flushed in agitation.

"It would make my life a whole lot easier, yes." Hux carefully but firmly pushed against her shoulder in order to get her to lie down again. It earned him one of those very irritated glares, she seemed to have reserved exclusively for him. "Don't think I won't put a trooper in front of your door to keep you here."

"That is bantha crap. None of them would dare disobey me." There was a wild glint in her eyes again. "And I actually think part of you likes all my little insubordinations."

Hux reached out a hand, letting his fingers comb through her hair. "Perhaps, but not more than you like provoking me." He leaned closer to her. The way her breath immediately quickened made him contemplate, if he should try for at least one kiss, before he left. Selene slowly swallowed, her eyes not leaving his.

The door to the room opened quite forcefully, revealing Doctor Kline, whose solemn face darkened in disapproval. "Are you agitating my patient, General?" He made a shooing motion. "I told you to let her rest." As Hux let the vexed Doctor compliment him out of the room, the last thing he saw was Selene's very amused face.

---

Selene knew she had never been a very easy patient. She just lacked the necessary calm and patience to recuperate inactive in bed for a longer amount of time. Still, that impossible Doctor Kline was getting on her nerves after only half a day. He had even confiscated her datapad, stating it only kept her from sleeping. It left her with exactly nothing to do and nearly going crazy with worry.

So when the door to her room opened in the early evening, revealing her second in command, balancing a tray of food in his hands, she could have kissed him in relief.

"Shima!" she exclaimed. "I hope you are here to save me. I am basically held here against my will."

Her friend laughed and shook his head. "Unfortunately not, I do have your dinner though. And you are lucky enough to enjoy it in my splendid company. Although I had to promise the doctor not to worry you needlessly."

He put the food in front of her and sat down on the chair next to her bed. "To calm you down a little, all other wounded from the Zi'daya side have already been discharged."

"But we had losses, didn't we?" she felt a heavy weight settle in her stomach.

Shima gave her a solemn nod. "Yes, Ze'anna, one of the Tri-Wasp pilots and Hector Fe'shun."

"Hector?" Selene thought of the good-natured young man, who had been quite shy for one of the Zi'daya. "He was so happy when he got the posting on the Research fleet last year. He was thinking of adding a few years at University after the war." Shima nodded sadly.

"Blast it." The Zi'daya heir cursed. And if yesterday had shown one thing, then that they were woefully unprepared to deal with their enemy. "I will have to talk with their families. We should probably return to Ellesmee to make new plans anyway." She looked at her friend, absentmindedly playing with her food, a tasty smelling dish of noodles and vegetables. "How angry with me is Khendrik?"

"Mmmh, he did spent the whole night at your side, I basically had to drag him out of here in the morning," Shima tilted his head at her. "Since then he haunts the Evenfall's corridors, a dark cloud of irritation around him. You gave us quite the fright, you know."

Selene avoided his eyes for a moment, busying herself with her food instead. "I am sorry for that. But you know how it is in a battle situation. Things happen and you just react."

Shima's blue eyes turned deceptively innocent. "Speaking of things happening. Care to tell me, how it happened that you are sleeping with General Hux?"

His Commander had just been in the process of eating a fork full of noodles and promptly inhaled a piece, coughing violently. "What?" she ground out breathlessly, when she could talk again.

The Zi'daya Captain grinned. "Oh, don't deny it. We had to give you some of those painkillers that get you all high. You could not stop waxing poetically about his pretty green eyes. Before you offered to take all your clothes off for him that was."

"Oh stars," Selene felt her cheeks heat up violently. "What else did I say?" Shima leaned forward a little, he was obviously enjoying this a lot. "You regaled us all with a detailed account of his prowess in the bedroom. The General has some unexpected virtues, it seems." He winked at her. "That last part was in Zi'daya though, so only Khendrik and I understood it."

Kriff, she could imagine what her sworn protector would have to say regarding the topic.

She looked at Shima with narrowed eyes. "You seem quite relaxed about it."

He shrugged. "Please, I was expecting this to happen since that meeting, where you two were biting each other's heads of. Let me guess, you had another one of this little arguments and then were just so overcome by desire that you tore each other's clothes off." Uhh, that was uncomfortably close to the truth. Her friend must have seen that fact on her face, because he grinned again. "I have to compliment you on your restraint; I would have thought you would give in sooner."

As she resolutely concentrated on her food again, not deigning to give him an answer, he chuckled. "Or was it more his restraint?" Selene glared at him. "Well, doesn't matter. However, it seems you have melted that cold heart. I don't think I ever saw a man so obviously besotted with you."

She shook her head. "Hux is not besotted with me."

"Oh, really? I can tell you he completely freaked out, when you were hurt. Even pulled his blaster on Peavey, as that rat did not want to let us back onboard."

"What?" Selene listened in disbelief, as Shima quickly recounted the events, after she had been shot. "But," she felt completely confused by her Co-Commander's behavior. "he was all angry with me this morning. Because I shoved him out of the way of that blaster bolt."

Her second in command nodded sagely. "This is all probably very new and overwhelming for him. You know all those strange things like positive emotions, caring for another human being, feelings…"

Selene swatted at him. "This is not funny."

"Actually it really is." Shima's eyes turned earnest suddenly. "I do have to wonder though why you did it. Throwing yourself between him and a bloster bolt that is."

Selene scoffed in annoyance. "How many times…I did not throw myself between him and a blaster bolt. I just shoved him out of the way."

Her reasoning did not impress her friend. "Whatever you want to call it, it doesn't change the facts. You risked your life for his."

The fair Zi'daya felt uncomfortably caught. "I don't really know why," her voice sounded terribly unsure to her own ears. Shima scrutinized her for a long moment, his blue eyes pensive, before he had mercy on her and changed the topic. When he left a short while after, despite her protests and pleas to smuggle her out of medbay, she was left with her own thoughts.

Was there really the possibility that Hux had any feelings for her beyond physical desire? The thought alone should be disconcerting, shouldn't it? Sleeping with him was bending her morals quite a bit. Allowing herself to care for him, now that would call into question some of her innermost beliefs of right and wrong. Everything he stood for, everything he had done was anathema to her own convictions. And still, despite it all, she could not stop the thrill going through her at the thought that he might care for her.

Why had she risked her life for his? She stared at the treatment room's grey ceiling without really seeing it.

Because she did not want him to die. Because…she took a deep breath. She wanted to see that little half smile of his again, when she said something provoking. She wanted to lose herself in his warmth and his touch. She wanted to trace the lines of his face with her fingers, seeing them soften, when he looked at her. She wanted to rest her head on his chest, breath in his scent and let the galaxy fall away …

Oh kriff, horror went through her, she had not really thought that, hadn't she? Oh no, no, no. She could not develop any feelings for Armitage Hux. What in the blazes of the universe was wrong with her? She needed to get her emotions under control.

When Doctor Kline entered her room the next morning, Selene did not give him any opportunity to prolong her stay at medbay, ordering him to only do a quick last examination. Her night had been abysmal, her itching wound and her agitated mind not really letting her rest. Fortunately, her wound looked good, only a thin layer of bacta remaining to help it heal. In a few weeks only a faint shadow or even less would remain.

Steeling herself for an unpleasant conversation with Khendrik, she made her way back to the Evenfall. When she finally found him in his quarters, he only greeted her with a cold look. Obviously, he would not make this easy for her.

"I am very sorry, I worried you like that," she began.

"No, you are not," he interrupted her, anger flashing in his eyes. "You always say that, but I do think we both know you don't really mean it. Because, if you did, you would at least try to change your behavior."

"Khendrik, I…" He shook his head. "No, Selene. Don't think you can wiggle out of that one. I kriffing thought you were dead, when we lost contact. And then you turn up again only to get shot. Do you even have the slightest idea, how I felt in that moment?"

"I know I am not making your duty easy." Selene felt real guilt at the pain in his eyes. She had only done what she had thought best in that moment, but he was right that she had not really stopped to consider, what it meant for him.

"My duty? You think that is why I am agitated? Stars, Selene, I am kriffing worried about you. Since we started this damn mission, you are in one life threatening situation after the other. If you continue like this, you will get yourself killed. And I won't be able to protect you." At the last sentence the Zi'daya Captain's voice turned more than a little rough.

"I am not doing this on purpose," Selene tried to defend herself. "It just kind of happens."

Khendrik's grey eyes were cool. "Oh, I think we both know why those things keep happening. After all you are always in the company of the same person."

"So that is your real reason for being angry." Selene pressed her lips together. "I can imagine you have a lot of disapproving things to say."

"I do think you will find it quite hard to even find one person in the whole galaxy, who would approve of you sleeping with one of the most notorious members of the First Order." Khendrik shook his head. "What in the blazes of the universe are you thinking, Selene? He ordered the death of billions. Billions. You know that, don't you?"

Yes, she did. But there was a part of her that had started to make a difference between the Armitage Hux she was getting to know and the ruthless First Order General. Hearing the facts out loud, made a strange kind of nausea rise up inside her. "It doesn't mean anything. It is just sex."

Her sworn protector gave her a disbelieving look. "You honestly want to tell me, you are taking countless risks just for a good lay?" He scoffed. "Perhaps you even believe that. I would advise you to stop lying to yourself, before this ends in a catastrophe, though."

With those words he was out of the door, Selene staring after him in dismay. Kriff, that did not went well.

The next hours she tried to deal with everything that had happened on the mission. After she had talked with the crewmembers that had been wounded, she prepared herself for the task of taking care of the dead. While Ze'anna had been lost with his ship, Hector's body had been put into a guarded room in medbay. First Order regulations obviously stated that he would be disposed of through an airlock, because there might be an unknown threat. After what had happened on Venya, she could not even disagree with the precaution. Still, she could not leave him without at least a small ceremony and all the other victims deserved the same.

What meant she had to talk with Hux about it. She fiddled with her comms for a moment, strangely reluctant to call him. Stars, this was ridiculous.

Selene took a deep breath and sent out the call. "Commander, if you could wait a moment," Hux' voice when he answered was very composed. She could hear quick steps on the other side. "Selene, now," there was considerably more warmth in his voice. He had obviously gone somewhere private. "I hope you are feeling better?"

"Yes, yes. I am much better," she answered absentmindedly. Shima's words from earlier resounded in her head. "He is besotted with you." Blast it, he really was much softer towards her than towards anyone else.

Her unease made her own words unusually curt. "I wanted to discuss with you what we should do with our dead after the mission." He sighed. "I can't let you…"

"No, no I understand that. It is a necessary precaution. It is just that I thought to have a short ceremony, before putting the body out in space," the words felt hard to say. "Since we won't be able to have a real burial at home. I thought you might do yours at the same time?"

"There is no ceremony for the fallen in the First Order," her Co-Commander's voice was soft. "You mean you just throw them out of an airlock?" Selene felt a disbelieving horror rise up in her.

"Yes," his voice was curt. "Only the troopers or…"

"Everyone. The fate of individuals is irrelevant compared to the greater goals of the Order."

She had to take a deep breath at those words. Well, that would not happen under her watch. "It might look strange, if we do a ceremony and you not. You might as well join."

There was a telling silence on the other side of the connection.

"Selene, that would be…"

"Against regulations, of course. Perhaps your life would be a lot easier, if you saw those regulations more as guidelines and not rules carved in stone. Stars, it is only a little farewell ceremony."

"Because I am so good at following the rules presently," there was more than a hint of sarcasm in Hux' voice. "Fine, but only something small."

"Thank you." Selene kept her voice light. "I will contact you with the time, when I have prepared everything." She ended the call, before he could overthink his decision.

An hour later, after a short stop with Captain Trach, who had been strangely nervous in her company, Selene made her way down to the Stormtrooper quarters. One part of a Zi'daya farewell ceremony was remembering those, who had passed on. And she was intend on having that part for the deceased Stormtroopers as well. Not that she had mentioned that to her Co-Commander. She had a feeling that she would not have gotten his acquiescence, if she had.

After asking Captain Fallon for the room number, she went in search of Tank and his squad. This would probably be easier, if she got somebody she knew to help her.

When she entered the room full of bunk beds, after a short knock on the door, it prompted every occupant to jump up nervously and salute, more than one surprised look on their faces. The two female troopers quickly put away something that looked like a holo sphere, obviously feeling caught. Only young Pip was grinning at her enthusiastically. For a moment, she did not know what to do, until she remembered First Order protocol. "Mmh, at ease."

While that made the troopers relax slightly, she still felt, as if she was intruding. Thankfully, Pip interrupted the uncomfortable silence. "Commander Sa'onserei! Are you visiting us?" His eyes widened a little. "Or is this an inspection?"

"What? Oh, no. I just…" Selene pulled out her datapad and frowned at it. "According to my information, you lost one of your squad members on our mission to Venya planet." She looked at Tank, when she continued, so she saw the surprise on his face at her next words. "We are having a small ceremony for the fallen later today and I thought you might want to say something about him."

As deep unease flashed through Tank's brown eyes, Selene realized it had perhaps not been the best idea, to do this here. She took his arm and pulled him towards the door. "We should discuss this somewhere a little more private, I think."

A look of resigned acceptance on his face, Tank led her to a small room at the end of the corridor. "Commander," he turned towards her with a solemn voice, "while I really appreciate the thought behind it, it is unfortunately not…"

"I already cleared it with General Hux," she interrupted him, before he could cite First Order regulations at her. Stars, why was everyone on this ship so fond of those?

"Really?" There was definitely doubt in Tank's tone.

"Well," Selene amended, somehow not able to keep this from the earnest Sergeant. "I might not have gone into a lot of detail, what the ceremony entails, but in principle yes."

Tank sighed. "So you didn't tell him there was a personal component, didn't you?"

The Zi'daya glanced away feeling a little caught. Fine, she was trying to get through with this, knowing quite well that Hux would not approve.

"You told me he is actually caring for his troops," she said a little reproachfully. "Captain Trach has already agreed to say a few words regarding his pilots."

Tank shook his head. "Trach has always been a rule breaker. It will probably earn him some time at sanitation again." He gave her a scrutinizing look. "Permission to speak freely, Commander?"

Selene waved her hand. "Yes, of course."

Tank rubbed his temple. "While I said that and I do think it is true, there is still a big difference of what the General may think privately and what he will do in public." His deep voice turned soft. "I think you can't imagine how hard it is to break rules that have been drilled into you for years. I always expect some kind of punishment every time I even consider ignoring the regulations."

Selene stared at him. "You were in the Stormtrooper program under Brendol Hux, were you not?" She should probably not ask this, as it was a private topic, but she could not help herself, after what Hux had told her on Venya. "What kind of punishment do you mean?"

"Being whipped with his belt, going without food or water for days, being put into a pitch dark room alone and one of the instructors had a fondness for electric charges." The Sergeant's eyes were unfocused, his face carefully blank, as he shared his memories with her. "You know, the usual."

The usual? Selene felt a dozen emotions flash through her violently; disbelief, horror, compassion and a bone deep anger at a man and an organization that did something like this to anyone, especially children. "How old were you?"

"Around seven I think. It is hard to say, because the Hutts did not keep any real records for any of us. Hux was younger though, perhaps five." The sergeant tilted his head at her, clearly aware, why she was so interested in the topic.

"Stars," she whispered. She had known that Hux' childhood had not been an easy one, but this was heartbreaking. "But Armitage was Commander Hux' only child, didn't he..."

"He always went hardest on him. Hux was quite small for his age at that time. The thought that his son could be anything less than a model soldier made the Commander punish him even more often."

Selene had to sit down on the only chair in the room, her mind spinning. "He told me there was an especially bad time when he left the stormtrooper program."

There was real astonishment on Tank's face at that information. "He told you that?"

"It actually sounded, as if his father nearly…"

"He nearly killed him that night. Or to be more precise in the next two days, when he did not get any medical treatment. The Commander was of the opinion only the weak perished through something as simple as an infection. When Admiral Sloane found out about it, she was furious. It prompted her to take Hux away from his father and put him into the First Order Academy, even if he was still technical too young for that."

Selene threw a glance at the Sergeant, her voice barely a whisper. "And how did she find out?" When Tank only looked away without answering, she sighed. "You are a good person, you know that, Tank?"

The Sergeant's brown eyes met hers, warmth in them. Suddenly the Zi'daya realized there was more than a little wetness on her cheeks. It seemed somewhere during his story she had not been able to keep back a few tears without even noticing it. She bit her lip and wiped her hand over her face, uncomfortable at having her feelings on display so openly. But there was no judgement in the stormtrooper's eyes, only understanding.

"Perhaps you could tell me about ZN-4080? I could do that part then. We can always say I ordered you to help me this way," she offered as a compromise.

Tank nodded and gave her a slight smile. "Well, let me think, we called him 'Clics' you know, because he was the fastest shooter I have ever encountered. Kriffing reflexes like a Loth-Cat. And he really liked…"

Sometime later, after a few more talks with the other deceased trooper's squads, Selene made her way back to the Evenfall with a heavy heart. How easy it was to forget in a war that the other side was human too. That there was a story behind every enemy face.

Intellectually she knew that this was no excuse, there were a million bad childhoods in the galaxy and not all of them went to war because of it. But still…

Her kriffing heart could not help hurting with the unfairness of it all. And the things she had found out about Hux' past. They made her feel compassion for him, something soft and warm…

"Are you sure this is only compassion?" part of her whispered.

Selene took a deep breath. Those emotions were dangerous. She was not stupid, even if Hux might care for her in some way, it did not mean his allegiances to the First Order would change one bit. Both Tank's and Shima's words from earlier resonated through her head. There had been a definite warning there, if she was not too blind to see it. Armitage had said it to her himself, he thought whatever was between them was a weakness. And what if he decided it was a weakness he needed to eradicate at some point?

Could she really risk a nearly foolproof plan on a flimsy hope that after years of indoctrination something worth saving had survived inside Armitage Hux?

---

He should have known, Hux thought with something between dismay and exasperation, as he arrived at the A hangar to find not the small gathering he had been expecting, but at least three battalions of his stormtroopers, all of the Finalizer's pilots as well as the complete Zi'daya crew. His Co-Commander had sounded a little too innocent during their call earlier. He frowned, as he took in the row of nine metal caskets in the front, two braziers glowing softly to the left and right. Where did she even got those?

Selene stood next to the caskets with that blonde pilot friend of hers. Both woman were dressed in flowing, simple white dresses. With her pale hair flowing openly around her shoulders as well, his Co-Commander looked more than a little ethereal tonight. Hux realized that actually all the Zi'daya were dressed in white, so it was obviously a traditional thing. The stark contrast to the First Order black made something nag at the edge of his mind.

Only inclining her head at him in greeting, since she was obviously avoiding speaking with him before the ceremony, Selene touched her friend's arm. The blonde Zi'daya nodded and took a few steps to the side.

Hux had always thought himself to be a person completely without any use for sentimentalities. Still, as Major Shi'seko's clear voice resounded in the spacious hangar, he could not help the shiver going down his spine. He could not understand the words, since the mournful song was in the Zi'daya language, but there was a sadness to it that resonated with something deep in his soul. While he had seen such ceremonies as nothing but superstitious foolishness in the past, part of him felt, as if he was witnessing something old and sacred.

When the last notes of the song faded away, Selene stepped up in front of the caskets, her face solemn.

"When someone leaves this galaxy, especially through violence, there is always a void. And some of it will never go away. But as much as it pains us, that we have to part, we can be sure that at least those that leave us today, do so because they defended something they believed in. This galaxy. Its freedom. Their people. In the end, no life is for nothing. Every one of us is leaving a part of themselves behind, when we have to go. Through everyone we have touched and who has touched us. Because no one is a lonely star, we are all connected through the tapestry of the universe…"

Hux was not really surprised she was good at this. She was after all the heir to a star system.

Selene went to the first casket. "Hector was an inquisitive soul. I can still remember the first day he was on the Evenfall. He actually thought I was one of the technicians and when I couldn't answer one of his questions…"

As his Co-Commander went on to describe her crewmembers, Hux could not help thinking about her words. 'Every one of us is leaving a part of themselves behind." He wondered what would be said about him, if he were lying there. A General of the First Order? Brendol Hux' bastard? The man behind Starkiller? A failure?

There should be something more, shouldn't there be? But then who would even care enough to speak for him?

He was so caught up in those thoughts, that for a moment he did not even realize that Selene did continue along the row of caskets.

"ZN-4080 or 'Clics' was certainly one of the best shots in the First Order. But those quick reflexes also helped him on more than one occasion, when…"

Disbelief went through the General. She was not really doing, what he thought she was doing? That impossible, stubborn woman had obviously gone down to the stormtrooper quarters and… This was so far out of regulations, that he could not even wrap his head around it.

She was giving a face to every single one of those fallen troopers. And the way she was doing it, with her little stories and warm words. Even with most of those in attendance in armor, he could practically feel the reaction to her speech, a few chuckles escaping people here and there at the more humorous parts.

Anger coursed through him. But if he interrupted her now, it would only make things worse, making everyone aware that he had not known in advance, what she was planning. Kriff, and all this with Pryde and Peavey already on his case.

He was not even surprised, when Captain Trach stepped up after the Zi'daya had finished and told a few anecdotes about his two lost pilots. Knowing the Captain, Selene had probably not needed to ask him twice to do anything against the rules.

As the caskets were aligned in front of the hangar door, Major Shi'seko resumed her haunting song again. Hux saw that his Co-Commander was dabbing at her eyes quite openly, after she had touched the casket belonging to her crewmember one last time. When the caskets flowed out into space, the Zi'daya all murmured a melodious phrase, many of them kissing the customary stele, they were wearing. Selene did the same with hers, the diamond in its tip catching the light like a little star.

"May the stars guide us back together in the next life," she murmured the words in Basic.

The ceremony obviously over, people began to disperse slowly. His Co-Commander made her way in his direction, interrupted by a few people here and there, who wanted to talk with her. When she reached him, she threw one look at his face and nodded in the direction of the Evenfall. At least it seemed she was aware they should have their discussion somewhere private.

A few moments later, they stepped into a small room that was obviously her office on the ship. Hux only dimly took in the warm wooden colors, parts of various machines cluttering her desk, before he rounded on her.

"Do I have to tell you what you did?" His ire at her made his voice rough. "Or do you know and just don't care in what situation you are bringing me?"

"I will not apologize for giving the people, who lost their lives in service to us at least a minimum of respect," she snapped, her own anger visible in the way color flooded her cheeks.

"I told you this ceremony is against regulations. And you just went and made it indefinitely worse. You know the stormtroopers are not allowed individual names."

"Well, that is just inhuman and plain evil," Selene growled at him.

"If that is your opinion, you can complain to High Command, perhaps you can persuade them to change the rules for you," he answered coldly, at the end of his patience with her. He had trusted her with the ceremony today and she had gone and exploited his lenience towards her.

Something like hurt flashed over her features. "Please tell me you are better than this, Armitage."

Her words and the way she said them, her golden eyes wide and sad, made him feel strangely guilty.

"Blast it Selene, do you really think I begrudge those troopers a few words? But I already have kriffing Pryde breathing down my neck. How often do you think I can break the rules without it having any consequences?"

"You are a General of the First Order, surely…"

"I am a General of the First Order, whose superiors want him dead." Hux gave her a sarcastic laugh. "And I ensure you they won't hold such a nice little ceremony in my remembrance."

Her expression turned a lot softer at his words. "Armitage…"

"And what do you suppose I do about your little illegal mining station? And your deal with the Hutts? You realize I have to report this to High Command, don't you? You violated a direct agreement with the Order."

Resignation flashed over her features. "Well, then do what you have to do," she said curtly. "I never asked you not to. I certainly had no illusions that you would let any sentimentalities stop you." She went to the door. "I have to go. It is tradition to spend the night after a burial toasting the ones that have passed, remembering them in company."

After she had left, Hux followed her much slower, for the first time in many years he had a craving for a stiff drink suddenly.

When he reached the Finalizer's officer's lounge, he was not surprised to find it already mostly occupied by the Zi'daya. Trying to ignore the presence of his Co-Commander, he went directly to the bar ordering a Corellian brandy. Despite his resolution, he could not help his gaze straying to her again and again, as he sipped on his drink. The way she looked tonight…

Like a bright star shining in the darkness.

His eyes caught on the bacta bandage peeking out of the top of her dress. It reminded him uncomfortably, how close her brush with death had been.

"General," Captain Shi'seko leaning on the bar next to him, made Hux look over. The cold expression in the other man's eyes, as he let his gaze wander first to his Commander and then to Hux made clear, that his preoccupation with Selene had not gone unnoticed.

"Captain," Hux took another sip of his drink, the strong alcohol warming his blood. He had a feeling he knew, where this was going.

"People always ask me how I deal with it." There was a contemplative quality to the Zi'daya's voice. "Guarding someone, who has no concept of danger. Who just goes in recklessly without any thought for consequences."

"I have to admit the question crossed my mind a few times as well," Hux offered calmly.

Shi'seko watched with an indulgent expression on his face, as Selene laughed loudly at something her second in command said. "I've known her since she was born. Deacon's wild little sister. She always had that ability to light up a room with her presence. It is part of her nature. As is that kriffing recklessness. And I accept that. It is part of what makes Selene Selene after all. And I love her as she is. As my friend. The sister of my heart besides Briseis. And my leader." Not more than a few weeks ago, Hux would have looked down on such an open display of feelings, judging them a weakness. Now he could not help feel a slight envy at the bonds that existed between the Zi'daya people and how easily they acknowledged them. "There is not much I would not do to protect her, though. Even from her own errors in judgement."

"You might not believe me, Captain, but I honestly don't mean Selene any harm."

The grey of Shi'seko's eyes turned glacial. "Unfortunately, General, unlike Selene, I don't have a propensity to see some good in everyone. I think we both know, you will not hesitate to leave her to the wolves the moment it gains you an advantage. Just be aware, when that moment comes, I will be there."

With a curt nod, the Zi'daya Captain returned to his people's table, leaving Hux looking after him in thought. As far as threats went that had been one of the lighter ones, he had received in his life. But also one of the more serious ones, he would wager.

"I propose you have been just warned to keep your hands of the princess?" Tritt Opan's blue eyes held amusement, as he leaned over the bar to signal to the bartender to bring him a drink as well. Hux used the opportunity to get his glass refilled as well.

"Something like that," he murmured, not in the mood to elaborate. The way Shi'seko had been sure he would stab Selene in the back at some point, bothered him more than it should. Not that he gave a damn about the opinion of Selene's bodyguard.

"Well, one word of advice. Whatever your little arrangement with your Co-Commander is, I sincerely hope it also includes some kind of military support. A few more stunts like today and Pryde will sic internal investigations on us," the Captain said seriously.

"I am working on it," Hux answered curtly, downing his drink, feeling more than a little cornered.

Another glass of brandy later, the General realized that drinking more than he should, after a night without sleep and staring at his Co-Commander, would probably not solve any of his problems. He decided to go to his quarters, but when he got up, Selene's eyes met his. She slid her gaze to the door accompanied by a nearly imperceptible nod of her head.

As he waited outside the entrance of the lounge for a few minutes, Hux already began to think he had imagined the message behind her gesture, but then the door opened and Selene stepped out. She immediately grabbed his hand and dragged him along the corridor, a peculiar expression on her face.

Opening a door leading to a small maintenance room, she pulled him inside. Before he could ask her what her intentions were, she had pushed him against the wall, her lips colliding with his forcefully. Considering all that had happened, he should have probably slowed her down, but instead he found himself giving in again like so often before, drowning in her touch. He buried his hands in her glorious hair, the fair strands soft under his fingers. He had to admit he liked it, when she wore it open like this, even if it was probably quite impractical.

After a few minutes of passionate kissing, Selene put a hand to his chest and made a step backwards. There was a becoming flush on her cheeks and her eyes twinkled. "I will have to go back soon, before anybody misses me," she said.

He raised an eyebrow. "To what do I owe this little visit?"

She scoffed. "Funny question. You were staring at me the whole time."

Hux sighed, one hand moving towards her hip to draw her closer again. "Listen, about what I said earlier. I actually have no other choice than to report you to High Command, the whole ship has seen that mining station, Peavey included. "

Selene tensed up slightly under his touch. "You know this is working so much better, if I just don't give you any opportunity to speak. Perhaps I just need to keep your mouth occupied at all times."

Hux threw a scandalized look at her at those words. "Selene…"

She met his eyes with an unfamiliar glint in hers then. "You know, you are probably right about the mining station. But, " she tilted her head. "you are the only one, who knows about my agreement with Trilla." So she was not above trying to influence him after all.

"Why do you even need that agreement? Stars, I have seen your weapons. You should be able to defend yourself easily."

"We have the technology yes, but no fleet to speak of," there was an old chagrin in Selene's voice. "No armament clause in our constitution. And before you ask, believe me I tried to change it a few times. Could not get the necessary votes, though. The research fleet is actually a loophole we have been using for years."

"Oh, the joys of a democracy," Hux could not help comment. His Co-Commander shook her head at him. He let a few locks of her hair run through his fingers.

"If you want me to hold that information back, you will have to offer me something in return, Selene." He gave her a prompting look. "That is how it works."

Opan was right, they needed leverage against Pryde and that soon.

She looked away. "I can't." "Why?" "Because in the end that would be supporting the First Order." She stopped herself, before she could say anything more.

Hux stared at her. Now that had been telling. "Please tell me you did not use that money to support Organa." Selene tried to move away from him, but he tightened his grip on her.

"I would never be so stupid to directly support the Resistance with any kind of money," she answered. Well, that left a lot of possibilities open. One worse than the other.

The General felt unease flash through him. Blast it, he had always suspected she was sympathizing with those kriffing rebels, but if she was really supporting them…

He let his hand glide to her nape, forcing her to look at him. "Promise me to never act directly against the First Order, Selene."

Defiance flashed in her eyes. "Why? To make your decisions easier for you? You will have to live with them not me."

"There is no decision, only what duty demands of us," the unfeeling words came to his lips without thought, burned in his mind ages ago.

He could see pain cloud her eyes, as she pressed her lips together. "Well, then I hope you will have the decency to do it yourself, Armitage, if a disciplinary mission to my planet becomes necessary." The thought of that ever becoming a reality made something inside him turn very still and cold.

Selene moved away from him, obviously intending to leave. Before she could open the door, he moved himself, caging her in against the wall. "Stars Selene, don't you understand that I just can't?" Somehow, the words to explain the turmoil in his head seemed to escape him. Her eyes met his then, their expression searching, as she scrutinized him. She must have seen something on his face, because her own features softened and her hand came up slowly, tracing along his cheek to his jaw. She took a deep breath.

"Do you think Pryde could be appeased with a fleet wide delivery of our blasters?" she asked. "Probably yes, those are impressive," he answered truthfully. She nodded. "And should I sent him the model that can be switched off through an electric impulse from the outside and you the real ones?" Her words made him look at her in real surprise. "I would need a list of those First Order Commanders you consider allies then, of course."

Opan would shake his head in exasperation, if he ever found out he asked the question, but… "Are you sure?"

She smiled at him then, one of her brilliant smiles that lit up her whole face. "Oh yes, quite sure."

Selene stepped closer to him and reached for the concealed buttons of his uniform jacket. Watching her open them, he raised an eyebrow. "I thought you have to go back soon?"

She hummed softly and let her hands slide under the open jacket and the shirt underneath. The feeling of her touch on his skin made him shiver slightly. "I do," she answered. "Just give me a few moments." A few moments to do what, he nearly asked, but then she crossed the remaining space between them, her arms going around him and her head coming to rest against his chest. Oh.

For a moment, he remained frozen in place before putting his arms around her as well and burying his nose in her hair. He could feel her breathing in deeply. Mmh, this was actually really nice. Feeling her warmth against him, was soothing a part of him that had been on edge since she had been shot yesterday.

"You know," she murmured very softly against the material of his shirt. "The answer to your question this morning. It is quite easy." Her fingers trailed little circles against his skin. "I don't want you to die." The words hung in the air between them, resonating in his head over and over. There was more than one meaning behind them, he realized and it made something pierce through him he could not name.

"I don't want you to die, too," he said after a moment.

"That is good to know," she commented. "If it does happen though, don't worry, I would even hold a very touching speech in your remembrance." He stared down at her. That kriffing ability of hers to see so much more than she should.

He tried to make light of it. "I don't know, if that really reassures me. After all, I heard your poetic descriptions of me, when you were under those painkillers influence."

Selene looked up at him with a distinct flush on her face, pouting slightly. "That's unfair. I was not of a sound mind." The sight made him slide his hand back into the hair at her nape, tilting her head and claiming her lips in another kiss. In the end, she stayed with him a lot longer than was probably advisable.

---

Briseis watched with narrowed eyes, as Selene excused herself to the restroom and left their table. Having seen the way General Hux had stared at her friend the whole evening, she was not surprised, when instead of turning left in the direction of the restrooms Selene walked out of the room purposefully. A glance to the bar confirmed her suspicion that Hux had left as well.

The blonde pilot felt annoyance stir inside her. When Selene had not returned nearly half an hour later that feeling had morphed into real anger. Obviously some of it showed on her face, because Shima bumped her shoulder and raised his eyebrow. "Everything okay? You look a little miffed."

"Yes," Briseis answered, seeing that Selene stepped back into the room at that moment. For someone, who had still been in medbay this morning her friend looked quite radiant, a distinct glow to her face. Briseis got up. "I just have to discuss something with Selene."

While she had postponed any discussion with the Zi'daya heir, as long as there were so many other urgent topics, that consideration would end now.

Taking the other woman by the arm, she pulled her towards one of the lounge's alcoves for some privacy. The unsure, guilty expression that flashed over Selene's face for a moment told her, her friend was aware, why she wanted to talk with her.

"Can't you even hold yourself back for one kriffing day? We just had a burial ceremony after all," the pilot could not help the accusing tone of her voice.

Selene's eyes widened. "I don't know, what you mean."

Briseis shook her head angrily. "Don't you dare try to lie to me now. Masir and I walked in on you and Hux, when I was searching for you, because of Trilla." She scoffed sarcastically. "Letting General Starkiller fuck you over a supply crate in the hangar? Really classy, Selene."

Selene's face turned a deep red. "Oh stars, what exactly have you seen?" Briseis did not feel very compassionate. "Quite enough. Believe me, I could have done without those images in my head."

Her friend could not meet her eyes, her cheeks still flushed, as she stared at the floor. "And now you want to chastise me for my behavior." She sighed and bit her lip. "And rightfully so, I suppose. I assure you, your brother has already done quite a good job at it this morning."

Oh, that meant even Khendrik was not longer able to ignore Selene's latest stunt. Briseis narrowed her eyes at her friend not willing to let her get away with this. "You promised me not to be that reckless, Selene. Blast it, you kriffing know, who he is and what he has done. He is dangerous. And you can't trust him one bit."

Something strange flashed over the other woman's face at those words. There was an unsettling vulnerability in her eyes, when she answered her. "It's not all that black and white, Briseis. As you well know." The blonde felt a deep unease rise up inside her. The last time Selene had worn such a tender expression on her face for a guy had been her ill-fated relationship with Iannis Peragis. But this had the potential to end in an even bigger mess.

"Please tell me you have not developed some kind of soft spot for General Hux," Briseis' voice had turned incredulous.

"I don't know," her friend rubbed her temple tiredly, a little desperation in her voice. "Perhaps, I don't know anything anymore. Contrary to what you all seem to believe, I don't have the answer to everything." Briseis felt her anger melt at Selene's obvious distress. She put a hand on her arm in support. "You don't have to deal with everything on your own, you know? We have your back, as always." She raised an eyebrow. "Even if you are making moony eyes at Mister "Subject to the might of the First Order or have your planet eradicated".

Selene gave a dry chuckle. "This mission is not turning out quite as easy as we have hoped." Briseis sighed. "No, it certainly isn't."

Her conversation with her Commander leaving her more worried than ever, the blonde Zi'daya went in search of Elodia. She definitely needed a second opinion on this.

She found the dark-skinned aide at a table with Fayth and Tank, but she joined her immediately on one of the lounge's sofas, when she asked her for a conversation in private.

"There is something I have to talk with you about. You will probably not believe it, but…"

"Oh," Elodia interrupted her with a grin. "You found out that Selene is sleeping with Armitage Hux."

"What?" Briseis stared at her friend openmouthed. "You already know about that?"

Elodia's grin turned even wider. "I got the story out of Dopheld two days ago. It seems she visited his office and made the General see stars.

Briseis made a face. "Doesn't the man have the biggest quarters on this ship? Why do they have to get it on somewhere public all the time?"

Elodia laughed. "That would indicate that those encounters are somewhat planned." A more serious expression appeared on her face. "But why are you so agitated about it?"

"Do I have to remind you, why we are actually here?

"Mmmh, all things considered this might not be the worst development for us," Elodia commented. When Briseis wanted to counter her assessment, she shook her head. "No Brie, you know as well as I do that no plan is ever written in stone."

"Well, if everyone is suddenly so chill about all this, I am beginning to wonder, why I am taking things slow with Masir."

An amused smile played around the other woman's full lips. "The only person holding you back there are yourself, my friend," she stood up. "Perhaps you should remember that some things are worth taking a risk."

Staring after her deep in thought, Briseis remained seated a moment longer, before getting up as well, a new determination in her step. She quickly made her way to the Finalizer's officer's quarters, Masir having mentioned his room number, for emergencies as he had said with a wink, in one of their conversations. Well this was kind of an emergency, wasn't it?

Briseis pressed the door signal once, feeling a little nervous now that she was actually here. The Galatean Captain had left quite early, the death of his two pilots heavy on his mind. It took some time until he answered the door and when he finally did, she realized he had been already in bed. And he was obviously sleeping without a shirt on. As her eyes wandered over the defined muscles under tan skin, Briseis realized all her doubts had miraculously vaporized.

"Briseis," he greeted her, his lighting up, his voice still rough from sleep. "Has something happened?"

A smile on her face she stepped up to him and pressed her lips to his, using the way his arms immediately came up around her to maneuver him inside the room. Between hungry kisses, she quickly scanned the room for the essentials. Ah, bed in the left corner only a few feet away.

She let go of him for a second, Masir frowning at her in confusion. "You were right," she commented with a grin. "Very comfy looking bed." And then she let her dress slide over her shoulders to pool on the floor. Her bra and her panties followed swiftly.

The way Masir's eyes first widened and then heated up, was more than a little satisfactory. He swallowed hard. "Briseis, are you really…"

"Definitely." She kissed him again, before giving him a calculated shove that made him fall backwards on the bed. With a laugh, she quickly followed him, straddling him, as she leaned in for another kiss. He indulged her for a moment, before grinning up at her cheekily, grabbing her arms and reversing their positions with a swift roll. "You can be on top the second time," he murmured, as he slowly moved his lips down her body. "There are a few things I have been fantasizing about for quite some time."

"The second time?" Briseis murmured. "Well, aren't we modest." Her words made him teasingly circle her nipple with his finger, before leaning in to follow the motion with his tongue. She squirmed underneath his touch, desire burning through her violently. "Infidel," he laughed, hazel eyes sparkling, "I fear I have to put all my efforts into converting you into a believer."

Sometime later, as the touch of his hands and lips played over her body skillfully, she would have told him she was already converted. If she had any breath left between the moans that escaped her. When the piercing need rising up in her became nearly too much to bear, Masir finally moved on top of her again. His eyes met hers, the desire on his face morphing into something more tender, as he slowly pushed inside her, driving a soft gasp from her lips.

She wrapped her legs around him drawing him even deeper, a groan escaping him. "Stars, Briseis."

She lost herself in the rhythm of their bodies then, his heat and the pleasure of his touch overtaking everything else. Soon she was falling over the edge, him following behind her with a gasp of her name.

Afterwards they lay together on the bed, Masir's fingers playing with her hair, while she dozed against him, completely contend. Suddenly he rolled on his stomach and looked at her with a questioning expression in his eyes. "Any doubts left?" he asked seriously.

Briseis touched his face, taking in his soft smile and disheveled brown hair, her heart so full that she could not speak for a moment. "No," she said finally and to her own surprise, she meant it.

A naughty grin on her face she gave into the temptation and gave him a slight slap on his buttocks. "Although I am still waiting for that second time."

"Little minx," he laughed and reached for her again.

When she lay in his arms hours later listening to his deep breaths, as he slept, their bare legs tangled under the blankets, she realized Elodia had been right.

Some things were worth taking a risk.

---

Ah well that turned out a lot more emotional and fluffy than originally planned.

But I guess it is the Christmas edition and we can all use a little fluff in our lives these days.

First of all, I wish you all a wonderful Christmas and a happy new year!

I will be away at the family until around mid of January, so the fic will be on a short hiatus until then.

If I could have a little Christmas wish, I would be very happy for every comment and like.

Actually we have reached the end of the first part of the story.

So it would be great to heat what you think so far. What do you like? What don't you like?

What or who do you want to see more of?

Any speculations what will happen next?

Next Chapter will be "Ellesmee"

And we will see all our heros on the Zi'daya home planet ;-)

As they try to find out more about Rhea and how to deal with their enemy.

It will be very interesting to meet both of Selene's brother and her grandmother.

Oh, and Briseis' mum!

Stay safe and have a peaceful time!