A/N: If you are still reading - thank you. I hope you are enjoying this as much as I have writing it. Reviews welcome.

*Warning - This chapter contains 'M' rated material*

I do not claim to own any BBC or Holby content.

Chapter Nine - Never Let Me Go

Sahira's eyes shot open, feeling as if she had fallen asleep with an electric blanket on. Greg had a tight hold on her and she could feel him breathing lightly on the back of her neck. It was nice and she made a mental note of how she felt at that moment - realising this man was quite possibly the love of her life. She wanted to remember this, the way he smelled - the feel of his arms around her. A single tear ran down her cheek. They had been going round in circles so long, going over the same issues and they had simply given up without resolving anything. It was a no-win situation for them both. He had made his feelings clear - she had hurt him but despite this, he still loved her. Time was running out and he would be gone - maybe forever.

She had been reluctant to admit her love for him to herself and too late in confessing it to him. Thinking back over their friendship, she realised she had been in love with him longer than she would care to admit. If she had just told him instead of denying it, she would have had more time. She may have even been able to delay his leaving, at least long enough to figure out what this was.

Her thoughts were interrupted as Greg shifted in his sleep pulling her closer, his cold nose now rested against the back of her neck. He groaned slightly as she moved to accommodate his new hold on her. She felt something prod the back of her thigh.

She knew what that was and she started to laugh.

"Greg!" She said quietly giggling.

"Greg!" She said again trying to wake him.

"Hmmmmm." His voice thundered against her neck, awakening an unexpected butterfly in her stomach.

"Greg, you're poking me in the thigh!" This time stifling her laugh.

"What?" He said sleepily unaware.

"You're poking me." She said. Giggling a lot louder this time.

"You're gorgeous." He mumbled, slurring sleepily.

His grip loosened on her slightly, but just as she thought he had fallen back asleep, she felt his fingertips sweep the hair from her neck as his lips began to trail slow soft kisses across her now exposed neck.

She could feel her whole body tingle and burn as the heat rose up between them. She let out a shallow breath of excitement - her body responding to him without any encouragement. Her head did not agree. Her body wanted him - needed him but she knew in her head it was all wrong.

"Greg. We can't do this." She said unconvincingly as he continued to lightly kiss her now bare shoulder."

"Greg. Please don't." She said this time with a little more conviction.

He stopped dead, sensing the tone in her voice and body language had changed. He sat up and hit the light switch on the lamp beside him. As he adjusted his eyes to the pain of the light, he saw her now sitting up clutching her knees with her head rested on them.

"I'm sorry!" He said with remorse.

Her body began to shake as a small sniff escaped her.

He moved closer to comfort her, but it was as if his touched burned her. She shook his arm off and sprang out of the bed looking away from him.

"What have I done wrong?" He implored, his voice breaking.

"Nothing. It's not you." She replied, her voice barely audible.

"I should never have come here tonight."

He climbed over and sat on the edge of the bed. "Why did you come here tonight Sahira because I sure as hell can't work it out? Nothing's resolved. Not really. You say you want me - I know you want me." He said arrogantly with a sneer.

"I didn't come here for that Greg and the way you are acting now just makes my point. You are incapable of loving someone, it's all about sex with you!"

"That's right you don't want to shag me. You have never wanted that. You just want to lead me on, keep me in my place - but you got into my bed remember!" He said sarcastically.

She looked at him with disgust and mumbled incoherently for a few seconds before blurting out what was on her mind.

"You don't get it do you? I say I need time and you give me an ultimatum. I don't, as you so nicely put it, want to "shag" you, so you take it as I don't love you and worst of all, you ignore the fact that you lied to me. You don't see things rationally."

"I hate to break it to you hun, but you wanted me out of your life."

"I thought we were passed this? We all say things we don't mean. I get it, you're angry, probably more at yourself but don't blame me for this." She said defeated.

A dense silence fell between them both.

"I'm sorry. You know talking is not my strong point, but I'm trying now."

Sahira stood motionless in the room. Struggling to contain herself - trying to figure out what to do. "I got what I wished for and losing you is something I am just going to have to live with."

"How many times do I have to say this? You haven't lost me Sahira - far from it."

She was now pacing the floor of the bedroom anxiously.

"I have to go." She said through her tears.

"It's the middle of the night and you can't drive." He said standing up quickly to block her exit, grabbing her by the shoulders, his eyes welling up.

"Don't go, I don't want you to go." He stated with urgency.

"I don't want to say goodbye to you Greg. Everything is such a mess." She said with clear frustration.

"You don't have to. It's six months Sahira."

"What if...What if something happens to you?"

"I will be fine, I promise."

"How can you promise that?"

"Because I have something to come back for."

He pulled her into an embrace and kissed the top of her head.

She stood there clinging to him like he was about to evaporate. She pulled away from him slightly and looked up at him.

Returning the smile he said, "do you want to know something Ms Shah?"

"Yes Mr Douglas." She replied smiling.

"Even if I told you every minute of every day how much I loved you, it still wouldn't be enough."

Sahira was completely taken off guard by his declaration and the only thing she could do in reply was to kiss him, a little rougher than she had intended, but she wanted him to know she felt equally in love with him.

As the kiss deepened, she grabbed frantically at the back of his hair. She loved the way it felt between her fingers and the reaction it stirred in him, as he pressed his hips hard to hers urging her to feel what she did to him. She broke the kiss with a moan, giving him an open invitation to start laying kisses along her neck.

She wanted him so much it hurt. She felt him undo the buttons on her shirt slowly as he pushed it from her shoulders, closely following with his lips. She felt the roughness of his stubble graze across her chest and it left a warm tingling sensation in its wake.

Working his way back up, he took her lips again as he finished undoing the last button and removing her shirt. Knowing she was now exposed, she clawed at his t-shirt slowly revealing his beautifully toned abdomen and chest. Breaking away for a brief second, so she could slide the T-shirt over his head, they paused for a moment breathing heavily. He watched as she gently traced her fingertips across his toned figure, as she placed a delicate kiss on his chest, her lips resting where his heart now raced. Caught off guard by the moment, she had pushed him gently back onto the bed. He felt slight nerves form in his stomach anticipating what she was about to do to him and fearful that she may have second thoughts and bring a halt to what they were about to do.

He sat upright just as she was straddling him. He gripped her tightly around the waist, finding her lips again. He slid his hands gently up her back until he found the clasp of her bra - unhooking it with minimal effort. Releasing her hands from his hair again, she slid the garment down each arm, finally letting it drop to the floor - never leaving his lips.

He moved his hands blindly, cupping her breasts as he ran his thumbs gently over her nipples. He felt a shiver run through her as she broke the kiss to let out an encouraging moan into his shoulder. Sahira could feel that he was now fully erect through the thin cloth of his bottoms, as she teasingly rocked her hips back and forth. He responded with a rumbling moan which made him break the kiss long enough to pull her tight to his chest, stand up and regain control by positioning her on the bed underneath him. She let out a content sigh as he gently rested his weight down on her.

He resumed kissing her slowly. He wanted to prolong these moments. He had waited for so long, another few hours was nothing. The longer he kissed her, the more eager her hands became gripping his well-toned posterior, almost clawing his back, until she reached the nape of his neck. This drove him insane. He ultimately knew where she wanted her hands to go but because of their close proximity, she was finding it impossible. Still maintaining the slow and pleasing rhythm of his kisses, he knew this was sheer torment as she writhed beneath him. He finally relented and let his kisses explore her neck - moving across her collarbone. He ran his fingers down the curves of her body until he met the waistband of the satin garment blocking his path. Sahira felt like she was burning, the anticipation of his beautiful adept fingers and how they would feel as they claimed her was making her ache. He teasingly ran one finger underneath the waistband. Still moving his kisses from her neck to her breasts - lightly flicking her nipples with his tongue. He paused for a moment on her neck, as he felt her pulse throb against his lips.

Sahira wanted more, she desperately grabbed for the hand he was using to tease her waistband and forcibly moved it to the exact place she craved it. He smiled as he pressed his lips to hers again and started making small circular motions with one finger. She moved her hips in time with his movements, urging his fingers to slip inside her. He was taunting her. So once again, she moved her hips making it impossible for him to resist. She was so far gone now his fingers just slid inside her so gently as she thrust against them. His kisses had become more intense. He flicked her nipples harder with his tongue, biting and sucking gently in-between. He gently withdrew his fingers from inside her so he could steady himself as he carried on his grazing kisses down her body.

When he had made it as far as her now restricting underwear, he removed them swiftly, guiding them over her quivering legs and threw them across the room. He quickly returned to her lips for a few moments before starting the slow agonizing dance of kisses across her neck, lingering again on her breasts and down her stomach.

If she thought she was struggling to keep it together before, she certainly was now. Her heavy breathing was now replaced by low moans as the tip of his tongue flicked gently over the place where his fingers had been minutes before. He hadn't spoken once the whole time. He never once sought reassurance, he just knew exactly where to touch her instinctively. This is what it was meant to be like.

His tongue was now circling perfectly around her and dipping lightly inside of her. She could feel herself going. Her head was hot and fuzzy and she could feel her pulse pounding and with one motion timed perfectly, he thrust his fingers inside her again as he flicked his tongue fast over her throbbing peak. At that moment, her body gave in and spiraled out of control. It was so fierce a sensation her whole body was engulfed. He placed a few haphazard kisses along her inner thighs before returning his attention to her lips, kissing her a little harder and holding her closer.

She couldn't help feeling a little guilty. She had been selfishly enjoying everything he was giving to her and he was still half-clothed. In her weakened state, she barely managed to break away from him and move to his side. She unsteadily jumped up from the bed and pulled him up to stand in front of her, as she distracted him with deep unyielding kisses, she began to untie his bottoms sliding them down over his ridiculously toned posterior, letting her hands roam there, as his last item of clothing hit the floor. She ran one finger up his length teasingly while making a satisfying sound. Before she could contemplate her next move, he threw her back down on the bed using his weight to trap her. He was determined that this night was going to be about pleasing her.

He positioned himself on his elbows above her and kissed her lips softly once before breaking his long silence by whispering, "are you sure this is what you want?"

She looked into his entrancing blue eyes, nodded and kissed his lips. He ran one hand under her leg to raise it up, as she mimicked this gesture with her other leg. He centred himself and found a gentle rhythm of slowly dipping the tip in and rubbing his hard cock across her throbbing peak. It really did feel different when you loved the person. He paused to kiss her, slowly circling his hips before deepening his strokes. Once or twice he thought he was starting to get close but he kept going. She felt herself building again, but he had done all the work.

Using what strength she had left, she managed to pin him on his back so she could take charge. As she kneeled astride him, he took her hips to steady her as she lowered herself onto him. Rocking her hips, she delighted in her new position and how good it felt. He propped himself up to get closer to her and watch her enjoyment. From this vantage point, she could see his beautifully sculpted body and strong arms, which only served to spur her on and become crazed as her hip movements quickened. She could see his chest rise and fall more rapidly as he started to thrust. He pulled her close so he could kiss her, which once more allowed her to run her fingers through his hair and kiss his neck.

His kisses became erratic as he broke away and reversed their current position, frantically pinning her to the bed. His momentum began to quicken. She knew he was close and she wasn't far behind as he moved within her faster and harder, the friction was too much and with one final deep thrust, his strokes slowed with a broken moan. She savored his surge of pleasure until her own came. It felt even better while he was still inside her. The effects had lasted a while before they both stopped shaking. He brushed the hair from her brow and kissed her deeply. He moved over to her side, breaking their connection before pulling her back into him closely, kissing her softly as their breathing returned to normal.

They lay there for so long fused together that dawn had started to break, cruelly reminding them of things to come.