Identity Theft is a Serious Problem
Chapter 8: How the Other Half Lives
Drip.
Drip.
Drip.
He could feel the droplets brush his lashes as the water trickled from his hair.
Drip.
Drip.
Drip.
For a place called 'The Land of Fire', it sure rained enough to put Mizu to shame.
Drip.
Drip.
Drip.
But he didn't mind the rain; the sound masked his movements, and the water washed away his scent. It was perfect weather for those who wished to remain undetected. And getting soaked to the bone was worth it if he could continue his silent observation of the thing before him.
It was huge.
Even from his position in the tree, he could tell that it would stand a good two feet taller than him at full height. His first thought was that it was an Inuzuka hound (for it was undoubtedly canine), but even the famed dog clan have yet to breed something this big.
Or this adorable.
For all its size, it looked like a giant huggable doll, with its big round eyes and soft white fur that one could just sink into. He was so tempted to just jump down and-
Ah, but one must always remember to use caution with wild animals…and children. Not that this one was wild, per say. It had a big red collar fitted snugly around its neck, with a name tag that he couldn't really make out from here.
Pity, it was already taken.
There was a slight shift in the wind, and the white beast perked its ears while lifting its head towards the direction of the tree he was nestled in.
Impressive; it could track him through the rain.
The beast was on guard now, hackles raised and making the most adorable growl ever.
He shook his head to clear his thoughts.
Wild animals and children. Remember that.
Well, no helping it now since he's been discovered. He lowered himself down from the branch, using steady movements so as to not provoke an attack. Sure, it was cute and all, but it could probably take his head off with a bite. He made sure to make himself appear as nonthreatening as possible as he slowly backed away.
Upon seeing him, the beast, surprisingly, stopped growling and began sniffing in his direction. Curious, he paused in his retreat, as the creature tentatively approached him. All caution was thrown to the winds as he held out a hand for it to sniff. It buried its nose in his hand and sniffed all over him, before giving a soft whine and laid down with its head buried beneath its paws.
"What's the matter? Are you lost?" He crouched down beside it, keeping a respectful distance and stamping down the urge to cuddle with its adorable fluffy head. It whined again.
"Where's your master?"
Another whine.
"You can't find him?"
A bark.
"Maybe I can help you look for him. I'm a pretty good tracker myself, you know."
At this, the beast jumped to its feet and barked, wagging its bushy tail.
"Yeah, no joke. I'm sure between the two of us we'll find your master in no time."
A bark, accompanied by a slobbering tongue that covered his entire face.
"Whoa, alright then. I'm guessing from your collar, your name is Sadaharu, yes? Nice to meet you, I'm-"
"Sadaharu!"
"Well, no, that'd be your name. Mine is-"
"Sadaharu! There you are!"
A small red blur tackled the giant white puppy. He observed with a raised eyebrow as a small girl in a red dress wrestled effortlessly with the dog. His first thought was 'What is Ten-Ten doing here?' but quickly reassessed the situation.
"Oh Sadaharu, we've been looking everywhere for you-aru! I was so worried-aru! What will I do if you go missing like- Gin-chan!"
Her eyes widened as she finally noticed him. But who-
It was thanks to years of honed instinct and training that he was able to dodge the fist that came swinging his way. And from the way it nearly broke the sound barrier as it brushed past his ear, he was thankful it didn't connect. The little girl with super-fists seemed surprised that her attack didn't hit anything. He readied himself for another attack, but wasn't prepared for a bone-crushing (literally) hug and a whole lot of tears.
"Gin-chan! Where have you been-aru? We thought you wandered into the wilds drunk and naked and got eaten by a giant mushroom!"
What.
"Why are you dressed like a ninja-aru? Are you some middle schooler who still thinks ninjas are cool-aru? Aren't you too old for that kind of stuff-aru? And it's not even a good cosplay of Bakashi either; everyone knows he has a headband over both eyes-aru!" All this was said through heavy sobbing.
He wanted to tell her that, No, he wasn't this Gin-chan she was looking for, that he was a registered ninja and ninjas are cool no matter how old you are, and how would anybody aside from the Hyuuga see with both eyes covered? But her heart-wrenching sobs stopped the words from forming, and her 'hug' was crushing his lungs to the point that no words would ever come from him again. Thankfully, he was saved by another adolescent that came crashing through the foliage.
"Kagura-chan! Did you find him?"
A bespectacled teen with the most nondescript face arrived and Buns Girl (Kagura was her name?) spun around to greet him with her prisoner in tow.
"Shinpachi! Look! I found Sadaharu AND Gin-chan! I'm so much better at this than you-aru! I'm like Sherlock and you're like Watson-aru!"
"Except Sherlock Holmes never strangled his cases, so put him down before we have to go find him in Soul Society!"
The crushing grip disappeared and it took a great deal of willpower for him to not double over for air. The glasses kid (Shin-something?) approached him in a huff.
"Gin-san! What happened to you? You can't just run off in the middle of a job and leave all the hard work to us, you lazy good-for-nothing!" For a teenager, the kid had the vocal range and nagging ability of a middle-aged housewife.
"What's more," he continued without even needing to take a breath, "you're dressed in that weird get-up! I've put up with your cross-dressing tendencies but cross-overs are where I draw the line!"
Alright, this was getting out of hand. He was grown man, for Kami's sake; he wasn't going to take this sort of abuse from a couple of brats (not when he's already had to deal with this back home).
"I'm sorry, but do I know you?" He asked them.
They both looked at him like he grew a second head. They seemed stunned for a few moments before-
"Oh no, it's happened again," Shin-something said, smacking his forehead in frustration.
"I learned that you can cure head trauma with head trauma-aru," said the girl, pulling out a purple umbrella and readying it like a bat.
"You don't listen to cartoons for medical advice!" Screamed the boy, "Let's get him to Mutsu-san first before anything else happens."
"Don't I get a say in this?" He asked and was answered by two resounding shouts of "NO!"
He should've just stayed home.
Despite his (half-hearted) protests, the children led (manhandled) him towards a large castle complex. It was huge and grandiose, decorated lavishly with the intent to impress. And of course, the crest of the Fire Daimyo was plastered on every visible surface. As if people didn't know that this was the capital of the Land of Fire.
The brats and their dog dragged him through a side entrance and after several winding hallways and corridors later, they reached the room of 'Mutsu-san', whom, as it turned out, was a member of the Akatsuki.
Well, perhaps not an official member, but definitely a fan of their wardrobe, what with the whole 'rice paddy hat and overcoat' theme.
"Mutsu-san! We found Gin-san!" Shinpachi cried.
"He was wandering in the woods dressed like a ninja-aru! I bet if we look hard enough we can find Bakamoto dressed as a pirate-aru!"
Mutsu-san kept a neutral look all the while as she quietly listened to the children's inane babbling and observed him. He saw her eyes flickering towards his headband, but still said nothing. She only spoke once the children were finished.
"I am glad you were able to find him," her voice was steady and as neutral as her expression, but it held the undertone of someone who commanded others. "Get yourselves dried off, you're dripping. I will…have some words with him." She added with a steely glint in her eyes that cut like sharpened kunai. The little monster with fists of fury then had the gall to snicker at him.
"Ooooh, Gin-chan's in trouble~" She mocked while Specs hurriedly ushered her out the room, though he could see a mocking smirk on the brat's face too. The kids spared no time in scurrying off, Sadaharu happily bounding after them, leaving him alone in the room with Mutsu-san.
"Not exactly the way I wanted to present myself but," He took out a scroll from his numerous pouches and presented it to the lady. "Konoha has accepted your request; you will find details of the contract within. Please take your time in looking it over and sign it with your seal. It will be taken as an agreement that you accept the terms and conditions listed within. I will be bound to your orders until I am physically or mentally unable to continue or once the mission statement is fulfilled."
She opened the scroll and went through it with the keen eye of a practiced businesswoman. Many clients would simply skim through or feign interest, but from the way her eyes narrowed slightly he could tell she read (and understood) the document's contents. After a few minutes, Mutsu-san brought the scroll to her desk and stamped it with a seal. He retrieved the scroll and examined it. The seal was an insignia with a strange language he couldn't read, but he committed the shapes to memory and placed the scroll back in his pouch.
"Confirmation received, the contract is sealed. Command me as you will, Mutsu-dono." He stated, bowing slightly.
"What is your name?" She asked.
"For this mission, my name is irrelevant. In fact, if you wish discretion, it would be better to not reveal my name at all, as it is well-known to several factions whom you would do well to avoid."
"Fair enough, Shinobi. I would assume you already know of your primary objective?"
"Yes, ma'am."
"Good, that saves me from explaining. I also have a secondary objective for you," Mutsu-san said as she sat at her desk, "The two kids you were just with, you will be posing as their missing leader as you complete the primary objective. Go along with the idea that you have amnesia, or whatever other explanation they come up with. Try to keep your true identity hidden." She then pinned him with hard eyes that would've cowed a lesser man. "Protect those kids with your life."
He was slightly taken aback by the sudden intensity of her emotions, but replied in earnest, "As if they were my own."
Mutsu's eyes softened and her cold demeanor was suddenly broken by a small smile that was partially hidden by the coat's collar. "It's the first time they've smiled in a week. It may be just an illusion, but I want them to be happy at least until you've completed your primary objective."
"I will carry this out to the best of my ability."
"Of that I have no doubt. Now then, Gin-san, let's get you in costume."
"Gin-san, what's with the scarf? Are you sick or something? Serves you right for running around in the rain!"
"Gin-chan, what's with your hair? Did you get zapped by lightning or something-aru? Serves you right for ditching us-aru!"
"I seem to be coming down with something *cough*. And now that you mention it, I do remember a clap of thunder before everything went dark and I found myself in the forest." 'Gin-san' absentmindedly pulled at a silvery strand tastefully styled to hide his trademark. What's so bad about my hair? "Mutsu-dono explained a few things to me, but a lot is still hazy. So, back to my original question: Who are you people?"
A devious smirk appeared on the little girl's face, an expression that was wildly out of place on someone of her stature. She looked more like a gangster than a twelve-year-old.
"Heh, my foolish underling," She said, arms crossed and puffing out her chest, "You've even forgotten the face of your boss? No matter, you'll remember soon enough once we continue our criminal enterprise on sukonbu smuggling-" A hand pushed her out of the way as Specs stopped her ridiculous rambling.
"Stop confusing him! You're not a gangster, and we're not involved in a sukonbu-smuggling ring! Who the hell would smuggle sukonbu?"
"Tch, this is why you're still a low-ranked sukonbu sniffer, Pachi. You'll never reach sukonbu smuggler at this rate. What happened to your dream of becoming the Supreme Sukonbu?"
"I never wanted to become the Supreme Sukonbu!"
These kids are insane, 'Gin-san' thought to himself, But…it's nice to see children acting their age. Better than the alternative. He decided to intervene before things got out of hand.
"Ahem. Smuggler-sans, I just want to let you know that although I don't approve of your chosen lifestyle, I will still try my hardest to live up to your expectations as a sukonbu smuggler."
His statement left the girl declaring a monopoly on all sukonbu and the teen smacked palm against his forehead, a gesture that he had no doubt repeated several times before.
A yipping sound came from further down the corridor, and a white mass came barreling towards them. Several servants, dripping wet and burdened with towels, were clinging to it for dear life as it ran down the hallway, tongue hanging and tail wagging. Then it started to charge. With a unified cry the servants were shook loose and left to tumble off as the great white beast made a beeline straight for the trio. Gin-san's first instinct was to teleport the hell out of the way, but noticed that both the other kids stood their ground. Or rather, Specs was apologizing profusely to the fallen servants and Buns held out her arms yelling "Sadaharu! Come here, boy!"
The canine didn't slow down; in fact, it gained speed, looking more feral by the second. This wasn't a dog coming to greet its owner; it was a wild beast going in for the kill. But just as he was about to step in and drag the two kids to safety, the girl ran straight towards the speeding furball and slammed right into it. This halted it in its tracks, and while there was a brief struggle between girl and beast, a headlock and a twist brought the animal down.
"Sit, boy!" The monster girl said, laughing as she rubbed its tummy, as if she didn't just wrestle with a bear-sized hound and won. The beast gave a whine and gave up its killing intent almost immediately. "Are you excited now that Gin-chan is back? You were real sad, weren't you-aru? Yes you were, you were so sad that you didn't even eat your meals and spent most of your time searching the entire forest for stupid Gin-chan because you were worried he'd gotten hurt or something bad had happened and…" He suspected the hound wasn't the only one worried. Tears were already forming in the girl's eyes and with a spontaneous decision, he gently placed a hand on her head, and with his other hand absentmindedly scratched the big furry (so soft!) beast's chin.
"Ah, I made you worry, didn't I?" He said, gazing up at the dog and sensing the girl turning her head to look at him, "I'm sorry. And I'm sure the person that I was before is sorry too, he's just a little…lost, at the moment. But with some effort, we can help him find his way home." He looked back down to her and gave her a smile with his one visible eye. The girl looked back at him with wide-eyed innocence so rarely seen nowadays, before turning away to clear the remaining tears.
"Amnesiac Gin-chan is just as cheesy as Regular Gin-chan," Buns pouted, and he gave a quiet chuckle. Becoming a teacher made him soft. He'd thought this secondary objective was going to require a lot more of his acting skills, but perhaps not. Maybe he was just missing his own brats, but the words he spoke held real emotion behind them. And judging by the slight tug at his sleeve, they weren't lost on deaf ears.
According to the brats, he was Sakata Gintoki, a lazy, good-for-nothing ex-samurai and current head of their small odd-jobs business. He was cheap, always broke, and was behind on both their pay and rent, which was why they agreed to go with Mutsu-san while she negotiated a trade agreement with the Fire Daimyo. He slept in until noon, read nothing but comics all day, and had an unhealthy obsession for sweets. All-in-all, he was a loser. He really couldn't fathom why these kids still stuck around someone like this.
But aside from his daily bad habits and work ethics, the kids didn't really know too much about their boss beyond that. They didn't know where he was born, who his relatives were, or how he got into this odd-jobs business in the first place. This makes his job both easier and harder. Easier for his secondary objective as it was well within character for him to express genuine confusion if confronted by aspects of this man's past. Harder for his primary objective as even the kids didn't know much about his motivations, hence making the search effort that much more difficult. Difficult, but not impossible. Based on what he learned of the man's habits and preferences, it narrowed down a few places where he could start his investigation.
"Eh, Gin-san, you want to head out right now? But your memories haven't even returned."
"And what better way to jog those memories than to retrace my steps, hmm?" said Gin-chan, smiling knowingly behind the scarf, "And I might even find out where Sakamoto-san went as well."
"You can't hide it from us, Gin-chan. You just wanna go day drinking-aru," Buns pointed an accusing finger at him, "But I'm a benevolent boss; I'll let you go if you buy me dango from 10 stalls!"
"It's not healthy for a kid to have that much sugar, but if we cut it down to three stalls then I agree."
"And don't even say you're broke, I saw Daimyo Nose-Hair give you an allowance and- Huh?"
"I said I would bring back dango. Only three stalls, though, can't have your teeth rotting before you hit puberty. Spec- er, Shinpachi-kun, would you like some as well?" Gin-chan asked pleasantly.
"You were about to call me Specs, weren't you?" Damn, that kid's sharp, he thought as Spec-Shinpachi adjusted his glasses with a deadpan expression. "I guess it'd be nice to get out of the palace. We haven't really had the chance to explore the capital." Meanwhile Buns was already bounding out the room yelling 'Dango! Dango! Dango!'
Oh, they wanted to come with him.
"No need to trouble yourselves, I'm sure I can manage to find a dango stand on my own." He really didn't need these brats getting in the way of his investigation. The sooner he found the missing persons, the sooner he could go home-
"Oh no, we're not letting you out of our sight. The last time this amnesia story arch happened, you wound up working in a bomb production facility for a bunch of terrorists! Sorry Gin-san, but we'll be with you every step of the way."
He needed a raise.
Over the course of his career, many of his assignments often led him through or to the capital, and he'd never gotten used to the sheer mass of people. Everyone seemed in a hurry to get somewhere, and it was always so loud. Not to mention the smell. He tightened his scarf, hoping to filter out the odors assaulting his senses. Thanks to the previous day's downpour, the sky was clear and open to the sun's harsh rays. It wasn't called the Land of Fire for nothing. He was eager to escape the heat of the crowd and sun. Even Buns had the foresight to bring her parasol.
If it weren't for the fact that he was sure the majority of the population were civilians, he could've sworn most of them were trained in the ninja arts based on the way they effortlessly dodged each other in their hurry to get from point A to point B. The kids were natural city folk, weaving in and out of the crowds with a grace that would've made any Jōnin sensei proud. Buns paid no heed to the number of people she wacked and poked in the eye with her parasol fanned out. Specs, whom he first thought was a rather awkward and easily flustered boy, even had the balls to yell out a stream of particularly vicious threats at a cart that rushed by them a little too fast.
True to his word, he stopped by the first dango stand they saw, although he drew the line at two sticks per stall (and he should've known Buns had a monstrous appetite to match her monstrous strength). He sighed internally and hoped Mutsu-san will expense this. As the three of them wandered around, with Specs and Buns asking if anything sparked his memory, they also inquired around some of the establishments in the area. All but one mentioned possibly seeing someone that fit his description, accompanied by another fellow that would no doubt be the other half of his primary objective. The bar owner remembered that the two gentlemen balked at the prices of liquor in this district and directed them towards the seedier side of town, specifically some place on Hibana Street. His suspicions confirmed, Gin-chan thanked the owner, ignoring the bewildered expressions on the brats faces. They walked in silence for a bit, which was highly unusual based on his observations of their usual behaviours.
"Are you two alright?" He said, angling his head to look back at them. "You're being awfully quiet. Did you get a stomach ache from the sweets? I told you too much sugar is unhealthy."
Specs and Buns froze and stared, snapping out of their trance.
"Uh, nothing's wrong, Gin-san," Specs started with slight uncertainty, "It's just that, uh, we aren't used to you being so…cordial."
"Yeah! You didn't even complain about spending money when you bought us dango-aru!" Buns piped up. "Usually you're so stingy about everything because you're bad with money and spend it all on booze and hookers and pachinko-" Specs clamped a hand on her mouth before she could say any more.
"W-what Kagura-chan means is we're still adjusting to this new you, not that it's a bad thing! And it'd be nice to get paid for once," He added under his breath.
Ah, so they were thrown off by his manners?
"Hmm, well perhaps this is just a phase? I'm sure things will go back to normal once my memories come back." Gin-chan said while resuming their pace down the street. Then a devious little thought wormed its way into his mind. "But I'm touched with all the help you've given me so far. I promise that I'll reward you both with all the back-pay that you're owed, and I'll treat you to ramen every day for a month."
The brats' excited squeals behind him (and a muttered 'ramen for a month is still kinda cheap but I'll take what I can get!') brought a hidden smile to his face as he sealed the demise of 'Gin-chan's' wallet.
It was quite clear when they arrived at Hibana Street, as the quality of the businesses dropped considerably. No respectable citizen of the Land of Fire would be caught here, at least not in broad daylight. In fact, the place looked dead in the daytime, but that's only because at night was when the street came alive. He would have to return later, once the sun had set, and without his two tag-alongs. But for now, he'll act his part and let the brats play detective.
There were a few stragglers and bums out at this time, lounging next to trash heaps and looking like they would curse the sun for existing. In the distance he could pick up the languid ravings of a possible drunk yelling about demons from the sky, but didn't deem it too much of a threat. Hibana Street was known for its flashy nightlife, as well as rumors of organized crime. He was glad that he was in somewhat of a disguise; no doubt the current head of the local crime family wouldn't appreciate the killer of their previous boss walking around town. Not that they knew it was him of course, he was a professional. Still, perhaps it wouldn't hurt to have a little action. A scare from a thug would send these kids running back to the castle and then he could resume his work.
"Ah! Shinpachi, look! It's like we're back in Kabukicho-aru! That drunk man's lying in the gutter just like Gin-chan did that time he lost his money in pachinko and wanted to escape reality by finding the demon clown in the sewers." Buns pointed excitedly at a vagrant passed out on the side of the street. She then bounded over to a large building that kids her age should have no business knowing about. "And this love hotel looks just like the one we found Gin-chan in when he got swindled and tied up and got his stuff all stolen."
"Don't remind me," Specs grumbled, pinching the bridge of his nose. "I'm getting flashbacks of Gin-san tied up in that pose," he shudders as if reliving a traumatic memory. What the hell have these brats been up to? And what kind of example was 'Gin-chan' setting for these kids? He'd never bring his students to a place like this! Of all the irresponsible, stupid, deviant-
A flash of familiar orange caught his eye and he honed in on it. There, in the shop window, displayed for all to see. His body was voluntarily drawn towards it. That iconic logo and cover. Could it be?
"Gin-san? What is it? You remember something?"
He was snapped out of his trance by Spec's questioning voice and internally berated himself for his lapse in focus. He was on a job, he shouldn't be distracted. But the new volume was here! It'd be another month before it would be released back home. He had to have it.
"Spec- er, no, Shinpachi-kun, I have a feeling that this tome could be vital in helping me recover my memories. I must obtain it." He urged, desperation seeping into his plea.
"Uh, yeah, I mean it's your money, go for it," Specs said, perplexed.
Minutes later, Gin-chan walked out of the store with a spring in his step, practically whistling in glee as he tucked away a little orange book into the folds of his kimono. He was followed by a beet-red Shinpachi and a bored-looking Kagura.
"I can't believe you're shameless enough to walk us into a sex shop to buy a porno!" Specs all but screeched into his ear, but he was so high on Cloud Nine that even the indignant squawking of a teen on the brink of puberty couldn't bring him down.
"Gin-chan's just a dirty old man like the rest of 'em," Buns said, casually picking her nose and flicking a booger at Specs, who dodged like a pro. "If you ain't careful you'll end up just like him, 'Pachi." Specs screamed in despair.
He was so caught up in his euphoria that he almost didn't notice the group of burly-looking men approaching them.
"Oi! Keep it down, you little twerps!"
He quickly did a threat assessment, counted five and ranked them on the low-medium scale. This was the opportunity he was waiting for. A little scare from these yakuza-wannabes and he can send the kids back to the castle. No more babysitting for the rest of the day. Unfortunately, his charges didn't seem to notice their part in his grand plan. Specs was busy running full sprint as Buns gleefully chased him with a booger-laden finger. Bad luck then that she just so happened to trip on a stray rock, right into the biggest thug and left a snot streak down the front of his shirt. The man recoiled in disgust as she looked disappointedly at her finger.
"Aw, that was for Shinpachi."
The enraged man let out a roar and made a move to grab her offending arm, and Gin-chan quickly prepared to step in. That is, if the man hadn't crumpled to the floor, screaming in pain. Buns had snatched the oncoming hand first, and squeezed. His sensitive ears picked up the snap of each bone in the thug's hand fracturing under the stress. The girl didn't even seem fazed, like she was simply holding an ice cream cone.
"Ew, don't touch me, Boogs." She said to the man writhing in agony before her, his buddies stepping back in shock. Meanwhile, Specs was frantically shouting at her to let the guy go, yelling about not having the money to pay medical bills or something. But although he seemed agitated, Gin-chan noticed that the boy never let his guard down, and didn't fail to notice how his hand never strayed far from the sword at his hip. His stance revealed that he had training, perhaps even in a sword style.
He needed to re-evaluate the threat level. Not on the thugs, but on his charges. The girl could easily take out any genin with her strength alone, and if she had any martial prowess, perhaps even chunin. The boy seemed normal, but who knows if he had some bloodline hidden away.
"What are you idiots doing? Get her!" The unfortunate man with one working hand regained his voice and brokenly ordered his lackeys to attack the little girl that did this to him. The other four stepped in, albeit cautiously. Each one of them was easily three times the size of her. They didn't stand a chance.
She was a flurry of activity, acting half on instinct and half on some strange brawl technique. At the speed she was going, they couldn't touch her, and when her blows landed, it only took one punch. And she did it all one-handed, her other still holding the parasol for shade. He discretely looked to Specs as an indication for how things were, and judging by the exasperated expression on the boy's face, this was a common occurrence, so he was content to stay back and watch. Mutsu-san said to protect these kids, but there was no threat here. Buns was easily wiping the floor with them.
Until something knocked her parasol out of her hands.
To anybody else it would've looked like she simply lost it in the chaos of the brawl. But to his eye, he could clearly see the trajectory of the stone that flew with pinpoint accuracy. He tracked the angle and was able to see the shadow of someone disappearing from the rooftop of the building beside them. The building was six storeys tall. The only kind of person with that sort of aim was- His deduction was interrupted by Kagura's yell.
She was shielding her eyes with her arms, as if blinded by the sudden loss of her shade. Shinpachi's shout alerted him that this was not within the norm, and he noticed the minute reddening on her porcelain skin that was exposed to the sun's rays. He also noticed Boogs taking the chance to enact his revenge while she was distracted. It was then thathe decided to intervene. A discrete jutsu to trip up Boogs made just enough time for himself to make it over to Buns at a normal civilian pace. He quickly stripped off his kimono and covered her whole form with it. Specs was already running over with her discarded parasol. As Boogs got back on to his feet, Gin-chan stepped in front of him.
"Now now, let's be civil about this," he said calmly, two hands raised in front of him in a placating motion. "I'm sure this has all been a big misunderstanding."
"She broke my hand!" said Boogs, gesturing to the crumpled mess he was cradling. "And she beat up my guys!" He then gestured to the crumpled men around them, all sporting various bruises.
"Looked to me like five large thugs were ganging up on a little kid. She tripped and grabbed you by accident and you felt the appropriate response was a beating? Shame on you. And it's probably only a sprain, nothing a little ice and bed rest won't heal. But if it makes you feel better, Kagura-chan will apologise, won't you?" He glanced back at the girl still recovering under the kimono, looking like a bad ghost costume. Shinpachi had her parasol propped open, providing extra shade.
"Yeah yeah, sorry I tripped and sprained his hand, he shouldn't have been in the way-aru," Buns' muffled voice from under the fabric held not a hint of sincerity or remorse. Good girl. He turned back to Boogs.
"There. That's better, isn't it?" The man looked like he was ready for another outburst, but Gin-chan quickly pulled out a wad of cash and slapped it into his good hand, clasping it with both of his. "This will take care of any ice packs you need to get, right? No hard feelings, right? And between you and me," he leaned in, gripping the hand with a little enhanced strength of his own and spoke barely above a whisper, "There are worse things that can get broken, right?" He cracked open his left eye just a little. And then he let go.
Boogs scrambled back, taking off with his broken little entourage.
Gin-chan watched as the thugs fled off into the distance, then turned his attention back to his charges.
"Kagura-chan, can you walk?" He asked, crouching next to her. There was half a nod that changed to a head shake from under the kimono.
"I need ten sticks of dango to recharge-aru,"
"What you need is some water," Shinpachi grumbled, and produced a bottle from somewhere. This kid was prepared. "And you need to be more careful. The sun's stronger here than at home so you can't be so reckless and go picking fights everywhere!"
"Whatever, 'Pachi," a hand under the fabric waved him off "I was winning until my parasol magically flew outta my hand-aru. Otherwise I woulda creamed 'em-aru. I was doing all the work while you and Gin-chan were cheering me on from the sidelines."
While his charges bickered, he effortlessly bundled the girl into his arms and lifted her up. She was heavier than she looked. Shinpachi moved in sync with him to make sure she was constantly under the parasol's shade. Upon closer inspection, he noticed that the umbrella wasn't made of simple paper, but from a stiff material that blocked all light from penetrating. He chastised himself for not noticing sooner. The two brats squabbled the entire way back to the Fire Daimyo's castle, and by the time they walked through the gates, Kagura was already back to her normal self. The sunburned spots had all but disappeared (regeneration?) and her only complaint was hunger. While Shinpachi went with her to the kitchens, he mentally prepared himself for his report to his employer.
Mutsu-san was silent throughout his detailed rundown of the day's events, and somehow that was even more intimidating. When he mentioned what he saw on the rooftop, her eyes narrowed marginally.
"You believe Kagura was targeted?" She asked, in a steady voice that betrayed no emotion or thoughts.
"Yes, ma'am. The assailant had great skill, and I suspect they had prior knowledge of Kagura's weakness to sunlight. Had I realized this sooner, I would have taken extra steps to ensure her safety." He bowed deeply, feeling the shame hanging over him. "It was my error in judgement that caused harm to befall my charges. I will notify my leader should you wish to cancel your contract with us."
To his surprise, Mutsu-san chuckled.
"Kagura is not the type to be coddled. Neither is Shinpachi. Their leader certainly wasn't the kind of man who would do so. If anything, I'd say they looked after him much of the time. Do not underestimate these children, they've seen and done more than their years reveal. I will not cancel the contract for something so minor as a sunburn."
He raised his head as Mutsu-san walked over to him, and couldn't help but notice how she purposefully avoided the rays of sunlight streaming in from the window.
"But continue to conduct your investigation in secrecy. Today's assailant was either one of your enemies hired by my enemies, or my enemy themselves. While I don't doubt your skills, Shinobi-san, I will caution you with this: If you ever encounter someone with a parasol like Kagura's, flee."
Later, Kagura found a plate piled with ten dango in her room, which she promptly devoured.
I wrote this for you.