It was well past morning when Emma finally woke up. Her room felt empty without everyone in it, and a frown crossed her face when she noticed even Figaro was missing. The smell of breakfast wafted in from underneath her door, and Emma's stomach growled. It had been far too long since she had a real breakfast that wasn't rushed, and she was looking forward to eating normally again.
The moment she opened her door, a smile crossed her face as she heard the melody of whatever song was playing on the radio. Just outside her door, Emma was given a rare glimpse of the very life she always imagined, and it made her look past every terrible moment.
Sirius had roped Remus into dancing, and Figaro sat on the kitchen counter watching them with bored curiosity. Emma loved to see Remus looking so much younger than he did, eyes bright as he laughed breathlessly. Sirius was singing terribly to him, pulling Remus into twirls and even dipping him once or twice. They were just missing Harry.
"Pumpkin!" Sirius said brightly when he noticed her. "Come join us!"
"Oh, I don't know," Emma said, combing her fingers through her hair nervously. She was afraid to know where the conversation would go this early in the morning.
"Why not? Moony says you're a beautiful dancer."
"I, uhm...I don't want to dance anymore," Emma said quietly.
Remus and Sirius froze, and the entire house seemed to fall silent. Even Figaro stopped grooming herself to look at Emma, the end of her tail flicking where it curled over the edge of the counter. Remus and Sirius separated, and Remus looked as though he was trying to figure out what to say next.
"Please don't try and convince me to not stop," Emma added, shuffling her feet anxiously. "I don't…I can't."
"I wasn't going to," Remus said with a slight frown.
"I wasn't either," Sirius said slowly. "I wish I could have seen you dance, but if you don't want to, then that's your decision."
"And if you change your mind again, that's perfectly all right," Remus added.
Emma looked between Remus and Sirius, not sure if she had heard them correctly. She had expected Remus to insist that she keep going to her ballet lessons, and Sirius she wasn't too sure about. Emma opened her mouth to speak but closed it, crossing her arms and feeling confused.
Remus sighed and crossed over to Emma, pulling her into his arms. "You are home, sweetheart, remember that. You get to make your own decisions here, just like you always have," Remus reminded Emma gently. "All that matters is that you're happy and that you're safe."
Emma very slowly wrapped her arms around Remus to melt into his embrace. She reached out for Sirius and pulled him into their hug. If Emma could, she would stay exactly where she was in the comfort of their embrace, but her stomach growled again.
"I think that means someone is hungry," Remus laughed as they all separated. "Come on, let's all eat."
It was hard to tell who was more excited for food as Emma and Sirius tucked into their breakfast quickly. Remus was perfectly content with watching his little family over his cup of tea. Wanting to move past the initial awkwardness of the morning, Emma asked Sirius all about where he had been over the past few weeks. Remus knew that Sirius was embellishing his stories to make Emma smile and could only shake his head.
"So, Emma, Moons and I were talking about what to do next," Sirius said slowly, glancing over at Remus, who gave a small nod in response.
"What do you mean?" Emma asked.
"Well, when all of this nonsense is over," Sirius explained. "When we can both be home without issue. And when we can finally add Harry to our little family." Emma looked surprised at the sudden turn in the conversation.
"Oh," she said, sitting up a little straighter. "Well, er, what were you both thinking?"
"Well, we want you to be a part of the conversation, obviously," Remus said. "After all, we don't even know that Harry will want to join us."
"You know he will," Emma said quietly.
"And you're still all right with that?"
"Why wouldn't I be?" Emma questioned with a hint of hesitation. "I mean, Harry's Papa's godson…"
"I know that the conversation is just being sprung on you," Sirius said quickly. "We just want to have all of our plans in place so that there's no delay. I think we've all been separated for too long." Sirius reached out to grab Remus's hand, their fingers lacing together.
Emma had to agree, and a slight smile crossed her face as she looked at Remus and Sirius's joined hands. She liked this – no, she loved this, but she didn't want to fall too in love with the current situation. Everything was too up in the air, but she wanted to get lost in the idea that they could have this all the time.
"Uhm, well, where were you planning on starting with things?" Emma asked.
"Somewhere to live, for starts," Remus said.
"And we were thinking that instead of finding somewhere new to live, we could all just stay here," Sirius said.
"Well, it's rather small for all of us, isn't it?" Emma asked, not expecting to hear that they were considering staying at the cottage.
"Yes, it is. We decided that we're going to shove you and Harry into the same room, and you two can switch off on who gets the bed," Remus deadpanned. Emma shot Remus a glare and rolled her eyes.
"How would it work, then? There are only two bedrooms – yours and mine," Emma said.
"We were thinking of adding on, actually," Remus said. "We could add a second floor easily enough. We could make two completely new bedrooms for you and Harry, add another bathroom. I was thinking we could move the study to your room, and we can open up the entire area where the study currently is."
"That's a lot of work," Emma commented, trying to imagine it.
"If you'd rather us all find somewhere else to live, then we can do that, too."
"But this is home," Emma admitted. As much as she loved the idea of a new home for all of them, she wasn't sure she wanted that anymore after being away from the cottage for so long. If they added on to the house, there would be more than enough space for everyone.
"Then what do you think?" Remus asked gently. "We make our home a little bigger for all of us? Get everything fixed up and consider it the fresh start that we all need?"
"I think that would be nice," Emma said, taking a look around the kitchen. "But won't that be expensive?"
"Er, well, that's another thing we wanted to talk about," Remus said, clearing his throat. "Sirius and I have done a lot of talking. We weren't entirely sure if we wanted to stay together after everything –"
"Is this where you two tell me that you're basically getting divorced?" Emma asked with a frown. "Because I don't approve if that's the case."
"Neither do we," Sirius said with a bark of laughter. "Pumpkin, do you really think we would discuss where we're all going to live if we weren't going to stay together?"
"Well, I don't know," Emma huffed, crossing her arms. "Everything is weird all the bloody time."
"We know," Remus sighed. "I don't know if you would have realized when you were younger, but, er, Sirius and I were engaged."
"You two were going to get married?"
"We still want to," Sirius replied. "Well, when everything's settled down, obviously."
"So, what exactly does that mean?"
"A few things. One, you're not getting rid of either of us easily," Sirius said, pulling a smile from Emma. "You are our daughter, and nothing is ever going to change that. Two, I'm going to have to help Moony dig through his things to find the bloody ring I bought him. And the third, most important thing of all, is that you are now very rich."
Emma stared blankly at Sirius and looked over at Remus, trying to figure out if Sirius was playing a prank on her. When she couldn't find any traces of humor on Remus's face, she wasn't sure what to think.
"What do you mean I'm rich?" Emma questioned, both of her eyebrows raising. "What exactly does that mean?"
"Exactly as I said. All of us have more bloody money than any of us are ever going to need," Sirius said. "I know Moons has told you a bit about my family – our family – but it goes beyond just the Pure-blood nonsense. The Black family has been around for a very long time, and investments have been made over time. As the last remaining next of kin, I have inherited a lot of money. The money from my uncle Alphard was more than enough to live off of, but now I have even more."
"Is that how you bought Harry's Firebolt?" Emma asked. "You can't tell me that you have even more than that."
"Er, well, darling," Remus started before trailing off. He cleared his throat as he looked back over at Sirius for a moment. "The truth is Papa has more than enough money that none of us would ever have to work a day in our lives. Chances are, future grandchildren wouldn't, and most likely even great-grandchildren. The Black family made some astute investments."
Emma still wasn't entirely sure that they weren't playing a joke on her. There was no possible way that they could be that rich. That just wasn't something that could ever happen to her, and the idea of it seemed absolutely ludicrous.
"So, if that's the case, then why were you working?" Emma asked Remus, her brow furrowing. "If there's no reason to work, then why would you?"
"Because I need to do something," Remus said. "I'm not someone who can sit around and do nothing, and I've never been able to take any of Sirius's money. Besides, it's still complicated with him being a wanted criminal and the whatnot."
"A dangerous wanted criminal, Moons – remember that," Sirius scoffed. "And she has a point, you know; you don't have to work. You never did."
"I'm well aware, but I can't not work, and you know that," Remus said pointedly to Sirius. He turned back to Emma with a sigh. "But this does put you in a bit of a situation, love."
"What sort of situation?" Emma asked.
"Well, do you remember when we had the discussion of people becoming your friend for the wrong reasons?"
"Well, it's not like it's my money," Emma laughed. "So it's not like it matters."
"That's the thing, sweetheart. It is your money."
"You, my little Chocolate Frog, will be the last remaining heir of the Black family," Sirius said. "It'll be a lot easier to explain when I'm somehow not a fugitive. However, that doesn't change that when I eventually die from my heroic death in the very distant future, you're inheriting far more gold than anyone ever needs."
"Oh, you're actually being serious about all of this, aren't you?" Emma said after a long pause. She watched as Sirius had to physically restrain himself from making a pun as he gripped tightly to Remus's hand again.
"How about we come back to that conversation later," Remus suggested when he noticed that Emma was starting to look uncomfortable. "In the meantime, if we're all going to stay here, did you want to get started on our new garden?"
"A garden?" Emma asked, perking up slightly. She couldn't wrap her mind around the idea of being wealthy, and she had a million questions, but she wasn't ready to ask them. It was too much for her to process, but the idea of a garden was a welcome distraction.
"For all the potions you like to make, I can't imagine you having anything less than absolutely fresh ingredients."
"That means if you want all of those really creepy plants that Moony says you like to work with, you can have them," Sirius added.
"Really?" Emma asked, trying to keep herself from smiling.
"Really," Remus said.
"And who's going to take care of the garden when I'm not home?" Emma questioned.
"Well, I suppose I'm going to have to figure it out. As long as you teach me what to do, I think I can handle not killing your plants."
"Good, because you know exactly which plants you can't kill."
"I'm aware, love," Remus chuckled. "But I would like to have plants other than the ones needed for the Wolfsbane Potion."
"I really want to play in a garden," Emma said, her nose scrunching up with her wide smile. "I'm really excited."
"Good, be excited!" Sirius exclaimed. "You're allowed to be excited."
"Now, what do you say we get started on that garden?" Remus suggested. "We can write everything down, and I can go out and get the things you need while you and Papa start to set things up."
Remus was alarmed to come back home to find both Emma and Sirius covered practically head to toe in mud. His jaw dropped as he watched Sirius, transformed into Padfoot, digging massive holes in the backyard, flinging dirt at Emma with no care. There was no direction in what they were doing, or at least there wasn't anymore. Remus could see the start of neat rows being made in the ground before it dissolved into the current chaos. It was the sort of damage he expected from Buckbeak, but the hippogriff was nowhere in sight and most likely scavenging somewhere. He was utterly stunned by what was happening, but Emma's laughter was music to his ears. If destroying the entire backyard and getting covered in mud was what brought Emma joy, Remus didn't care.
Sirius transformed back, sitting on the ground, and Emma laughed even harder seeing just how covered in mud he was. It was so much worse when he was a man again, the dirt stark against his skin. Sirius spluttered, spitting dirt out of his mouth and giving Emma a lopsided grin. Nearly his entire face was covered in mud from Padfoot digging his nose into the earth while digging.
"That really wasn't a good idea, was it?" he asked, and Emma shook her head. "Oh, well. I've done worse." With a mischievous grin, he grabbed onto Emma's hands and pulled her down onto his lap. He held onto her tightly, laughing at her weak attempts at escaping, and grabbed a handful of mud, which he smeared into her hair. She squealed with laughter and immediately dug her hands into the dirt to do the same to Sirius. Remus was grateful that they could still find joy and was happy they could find it in each other. His heart swelled with affection as he watched them together.
"I had no idea that I left two children at home," Remus said, arching an eyebrow at the two. Emma and Sirius looked up at Remus with wide eyes, looked at each other, and began laughing even harder.
"What do you think, Pumpkin?" Sirius asked when he finally stopped laughing long enough. "Should we both get Daddy so that he matches us? I think he would look fantastic with a mud beard," Sirius said, not bothering to keep his plans quiet.
Emma looked at Sirius in pure awe before a mischievous grin crossed her face. She began to nod excitedly, and Sirius pushed her back up onto her feet. Emma bent down to grab two handfuls of mud and looked at Remus expectantly as Sirius got up and did the same.
"Oh, no," Remus said, lifting his hands in a pleading gesture. "Absolutely not."
Remus should have expected that Sirius would transform into Padfoot to chase him around the yard. He didn't want to be covered in mud, but Emma started to slip, and he automatically reached out for her. Cursed by the momentum of Emma falling and Sirius barreling into them, Remus found himself on his back with Emma in his arms, in the biggest mud puddle of all. To add insult to injury, Emma grabbed large handfuls of mud she could and smeared it all over his face with happy giggles.
Resigned to his fate, Remus decided it would be worth having some fun. He was already covered in mud, so there was no use in trying to avoid it any longer.
Remus pulled Emma's face close to his to rub his muddy cheek against hers, laughing at Sirius's enthusiastic barking and Emma's noises of disgust. Sirius transformed again, not wanting to be left out, and slid into the mud next to Remus, pulling Emma into the space between them. As if they were of the same mind, Remus and Sirius attacked Emma's face with kisses until she cried from her laughter.
For a moment, Remus and Sirius pulled back just to look at each other. They had talked so much Emma looked between the two of them curiously. Unable to resist torturing Emma a little bit, Remus and Sirius lifted themselves to kiss each other, and Emma groaned, covering her face.
"Ew," Emma said with a giggle. She didn't bother fighting Remus when he slung an arm around her to pull her close. Emma looked up at Remus with a huffy breath, trying to wear a displeased look on her very muddy face and failing miserably.
Hidden in the depths of Emma's eyes, Remus could see it – the glimmers of hope and pure joy sitting underneath the surface. This was all that she wanted, even if she never said it out loud; it was what they all wanted. When Remus looked up at Sirius, he could see the same thing in his eyes, the ghosts of Azkaban momentarily floating away. This was what they all needed.
Remus had no idea what Sirius was worried about when Emma gravitated towards him. If they were in a room together, Emma was sure to be close by. Some part of her body would be touching him as if she was afraid he would disappear if she wasn't. They bonded easily over whatever show they could find on the television that caught their attention. Emma would giggle at Sirius's comments, amused at his takes on things. She really enjoyed trying to explain newer concepts to Sirius, trying to help bridge the gap from what he remembered last. Remus couldn't help but notice each time that Sirius clearly knew something, but pretended he had no idea just so Emma would tell him.
Sirius was a natural with Emma, and Remus found himself a little jealous that it seemed to come so easy for him. It had taken Remus far too long to sort through his own feelings, but then again, Sirius had always known the truth. Remus had to squash the feeling down and ignore the bitterness he felt. They were finally all together, and that's what he needed to remember. This was their chance to have their family together with no intrusions or interruptions. It was just one of the small miracles granted with Emma's stay – the Ministry wouldn't be sending anyone to check-in. For nearly three full weeks, they were going to be an actual family. Remus hoped it would be enough to educate Emma on everything she needed to know.
There was so much that Emma needed to learn in such a short amount of time. He had no doubt that Emma would pick up on things quickly enough, but Remus felt there just wasn't enough time. Remus wholeheartedly agreed with Elara's suggestion of teaching Emma Occlumency, and he wished he had thought of it sooner. It was a difficult skill to learn, but he hoped that Sirius would help as well. Sirius was a little rusty with the skill after Azkaban, but Remus hoped that by teaching Emma, it would strengthen his skills. It would help them both.
On top of Occlumency, Remus promised to finally teach Emma more about werewolf culture. He found himself dreading those conversations the most, but Emma's life had become so enmeshed with other werewolves that he couldn't put it off. Remus couldn't let Emma walk into situations blindly again because he felt the need to shelter her. His desire to ignore that Emma was half-werewolf had inadvertently put her into danger. Remus hated himself for it.
Somehow, both Remus and Sirius had to both explain to Emma the seriousness of her financial status. There was far more money than Emma would ever need in her life, and Remus didn't think Emma understood that. Remus didn't think that Emma would suddenly want the finest things in life, but he wanted her to understand she didn't have to go without either. Though Remus made sure that Emma didn't go without the best that he could afford for her on his own, he needed to make it clear that she didn't have to worry. Emma had gone from having nothing to being one of the richest witches in all of the United Kingdom. That was information that needed to be protected and guarded closely. If too many of the wrong people knew, Emma would have to worry about more than just her current problems. Greyback, Jude, and Ellis they could all eventually handle; the rest of the nefarious wizarding community was a different story.
Overall, they had all had a decent day together. It was a vast improvement from the day prior, and though it was still an adjustment, they were making progress. As the night started to wind down, Remus could see Emma beginning to curl in on herself, a sure sign that her thoughts were taking over. Emma was snuggled up with Sirius on the couch, but her eyes were slowly starting to unfocus from whatever show they were watching on the television. It had been quite some time since Remus had seen Emma close off, but luckily, he knew exactly what to do. They could work through things just like they always had.
"Fy nghariad, would you like to take a bath?" Remus asked, putting a hand on Emma's arm gently and leaning forward to put himself in her line of sight.
Emma slowly turned her head towards him, her brow furrowing ever so slightly as she tried to put together what he said. It often took Emma a few moments to pull herself out of her thoughts to respond, but Remus was always patient with her. Remus found himself going through the same with Sirius more often than not, and he didn't mind. Eventually, Emma gave a small nod, and that was Remus's cue to get up to draw a bath for her.
The tub was half-full when Emma finally got up from the couch, padding past the bathroom as quiet as she could to her room. A few moments later, Emma appeared in the bathroom doorway, nibbling her lip as she met Remus's gaze.
"What is it, love?" Remus asked.
"Is it all right if I borrow your pajamas?" Emma asked, pulling at her sleeve.
Remus had to keep himself from frowning. Wherever Emma's mind had gone to, it had made her nervous, and it always hurt him to see her looking so uncomfortable.
"Sweetheart, you know you don't have to ask me," Remus said gently. "You know I don't mind."
"I know, I just…I don't know."
"Emma, you are home. What's mine is yours."
There was another long moment where Emma tried to let Remus's words sink in, and then she nodded, retreating to grab clothes to wear. Remus was sure that he would have to continually remind Emma that she was home all over again, but it was okay. It was just one more thing for them to figure out how to work through.
Emma was perpetually grateful for Remus's constant patience with her. He was patient with everyone, but she felt that she often overextended his patience. She was told that she was difficult growing up, and she knew that about herself, but Remus never cared. Even Sirius didn't seem to mind, even though he needed extra time extended for his thoughts as well. The only one that ever seemed put together was Remus, but Emma realized half-way through her bath that he really wasn't. They were a family made up of little broken pieces that had shattered on the ground, but their disjointed pieces fit together perfectly.
She couldn't quite understand everything that she had been told earlier that day. Emma was happy that she would always be able to call the cottage home and was curious to see how it would look. She loved that she finally had a garden, or at least attempted to put together a garden. With Sirius's assistance, they had destroyed the backyard.
It had started innocently enough until Sirius decided that using his transfigured trowels was going to take too long. He had been excited to show off his transfiguration skills using Emma's wand, but he wasn't happy enough with the situation. Emma tried to argue that it was okay and that the dirt was perfect to work in from that morning's rain, but Sirius was insistent. She had watched in shock as Sirius transformed into Padfoot and immediately began digging into the dirt. She wasn't entirely sure when it turned into their mud fight, but the perfect lines they made started disappearing and quickly. The entire patch of land designated as the garden was wrecked, grass and dirt thrown everywhere. She never expected to have such pure joy from playing in the mud.
When Emma felt her fingers and toes were wrinkled enough, she finally pulled herself out of the warmth of the bathtub. The air in the rest of the bathroom was chilled, and her skin was covered in gooseflesh, and she quickly pulled her towel around herself. Remus always remembered to charm her towels to stay warm, and she was grateful for it. Temperature differences had felt more severe lately, and she took advantage of the simplicity of a warm towel.
Even being home, Emma found her thoughts were scattered. They were much more confusing, pulling her in every direction possible. She was frustrated, scared, happy, excited, nervous, angry – she couldn't settle on one feeling. It felt similar to how she felt before starting therapy but less extreme. It was like everything was a perpetual and constant nuisance.
Her emotions would flare up when she didn't catch herself when she looked at Sirius, but she quickly squashed her feelings down. Sometimes she would look at him and remember the Halloween he left her and everything that happened. A lot of the old memories had started to settle in like old dreams she could vaguely remember, but Halloween night she kept her focus on. It had changed so much.
Sirius told her he would come back to bring her to the Potters that night, he just needed to check on something, but he never returned. Instead, Margaret moved Emma to the spot hidden by the Fidelius with a very tight hug and a kiss, and that was it. She was left in her makeshift little room with her things, some food, and a light. They never came back for her, but instead of Ellis being the one to find her like they thought, it was Fenrir. She couldn't find it in herself to bring it up to either Remus or Sirius, but Emma assumed it meant that Ellis told Fenrir her location.
It was Fenrir who had brought her to Saint Nicholas's sometime in the dark of night. It was Fenrir who stayed with her the entire time until someone arrived. It was Fenrir who let her cry herself out, begging for Remus or Sirius or Margaret. It was Fenrir who had dragged Jude and Ellis along sometime later to figure out what to do. Sometimes it felt like an out of body experience to remember the exact moment her memories were taken. With that part of her life taken care of, stolen from her mind, everything settled into what her life had been. Just like everyone else, they had all disappeared and left her until years later.
Emma had thought Dr. Wheeler insisting she had separation anxiety was foolish, but knowing what she did, it finally made sense. She had been abandoned too many times to count, and even if she didn't actively remember it, she knew.
She took a deep, steadying breath as she dressed. Her frazzled mind was what led her to her current set of thoughts; Emma needed to make a change.
Emma had dug through the box of photos she had taken in her earliest days at the cottage while finding clothes to wear. She had grabbed a small pile of pictures from when she was still "Emelyn Theodosia," with auburn hair and sharp angles. Emma snatched up the pile of photos taken her third year where she came to terms that she looked at all like Remus, with light brown hair and softer features. For good measure, she grabbed a few photos where she was in between her looks, not quite one version of herself and not quite the other. She laid the photos out on the bathroom counter, looking at each picture in turn.
As subtle as the changes were, Emma still found herself surprised to look at herself. Not just because of her scars, but from how different she was. Her view of herself had been severely skewed once she realized that so much of her identity had been hidden behind Polyjuice. While she still saw herself in the mirror, she was always confused. She was very rarely the same person for very long, and without a clear view of her mind, it never made sense. Emma never put together that she woke up as a different person and went to bed as someone different. Every person she turned into had one thing in common – they all had auburn hair and green eyes. She wondered who the mastermind behind the Polyjuice was and how long it took to find different people to make her be a twin with.
Emma frowned as she looked at herself in the mirror. She held up an old picture of herself, trying to mentally compare herself to who she once was. Even though she didn't look the same, Emma couldn't stand looking at herself when she looked like Jude. She had always hated her red hair, hated how her face was shaped, and just held a general animosity to who she was. Emma wondered how much of that was from never looking the same or how much of it was her attitude towards Jude.
Objectively speaking, looking at the photos, she wasn't as ugly as she thought she was. Many of her issues stemmed from people making fun of her hair, but it was long and sleek and went well with her eyes. Still, she didn't like that she looked pointy and sharp in the same way that Draco was. She looked mean, and she didn't want to be mean, even though she had been a terribly mean child. That was another thing she couldn't bring herself to mention, and she felt that she needed to.
That was one of the reasons why Emma felt she liked looking like Remus, and as she looked at herself closer, oddly enough like Sirius. Emma had only projected Sirius's features onto her own, but she could see subtle touches. It was in the slight twist at the ends of her lips and the shape of her eyes. They were both what she knew but somehow looked different. Was she imagining it because she wanted to look more like Sirius? She had to be, but she wasn't entirely sure that was true. Emma just couldn't figure out how that could be at all possible.
Emma felt that she actually looked like a nice person; her features were soft like her voice. She had a lot of Remus's cadence, and she preferred it. Emma felt like she belonged in her body, like she made sense and that she finally belonged. She actually looked like their daughter, and it made her happy. A soft knock at the bathroom door made Emma jump and pulled her out of her thoughts.
"Yes?" Emma said, cringing as she looked at the photos laid out on the counter.
"Just wanted to make sure that you were all right," called Remus's voice through the door. "You've been in there for a while."
"I, er…yes, I'm all right," Emma replied. "I think." There was silence on the other side of the door for a moment, but Emma knew that Remus didn't move.
"Is it all right if I come in?" Remus asked after a few minutes.
A small sigh escaped Emma's lips as she set the picture in her hand down with the rest. She opened the door and gave Remus a small smile. He returned her smile and looked past her to look at the photos arranged on the counter.
"What are you doing, love?" he asked curiously.
"Thinking," Emma said quietly, turning back towards the mirror. "Comparing, I guess, is more like it. Not because of my scars," she added at the look on Remus's face. "I'm trying to come to terms with who I know I was and who I am now."
Remus hummed softly, stepping just behind Emma and dropping his arm around her shoulders to pull her close.
"And how's that going?"
"It's more difficult than I thought it would be," she admitted. "I want to talk about it…at some point. Just not yet."
"Well, whenever you're ready, I'm here. You know that."
"I know," Emma muttered. "Thank you." Remus bent down to kiss the top of Emma's head in response, and Emma snuggled into his side. "I think I want to cut my hair," Emma said quietly, meeting Remus's gaze in the reflection of the mirror.
"You want to cut your hair?" Remus asked.
Emma nodded, turning her head from side to side to survey herself. "I want to cut it short," she said. "I need…I just need one thing he hasn't touched. I need you to do it for me."
Remus knew right away what Emma was referring to, and he understood. He wanted to follow the care plan Dr. Wheeler suggested, worried Emma would start to push things, but this was something he could agree to. Remus knew all too well the desire to just remove everything Fenrir had ever touched as he had done the same. When everything settled down after the war, he had shaved his hair almost to his scalp, needing something new. He had regretted it almost immediately and went out to find a potion to grow it back out again, but it helped soothe a part of himself.
"How short do you want to cut it?"
Emma pulled her lip between her teeth, studying herself closely. "I don't know," she said, her gaze flicking over to Remus's reflection to look at his hair. "I think shorter than yours. Maybe. You and Papa both have longer hair, and I want it shorter."
Remus hummed softly, trying to figure out the best way to approach things. This was a significant change for Emma and a crucial one. The last thing he wanted to do was ruin it, and he nearly suggested having someone professional cut it, but Emma would refuse. She had made it very clear that she wasn't ready to leave the comfort of home just yet, and he wouldn't push her needlessly.
"Do you mind if Papa helps with this?" Remus asked after a while. "He's a little better at cutting hair than I am. A lot better, really. He used to be the one who cut all of our hair at school, and he certainly didn't let anyone else touch his hair."
"But I need you to cut it," Emma said worriedly.
"I will," Remus said gently, "but he has a better eye than I do with these things. You trusted him to cut your hair last, yes?" Emma hesitated for a moment before nodding.
"He can help only if you promise that you're the one to do it," Emma repeated, looking nervous.
"I promise."
True to his word, Remus started to cut Emma's hair until she finally decided to let Sirius take over. It was much easier than Sirius trying to guide Remus in what to do, and Emma trusted Sirius to do it right. Her only issue was that they refused to let her see what she looked like until they were done and sat her on the edge of the tub.
"All right," Sirius said when he felt that he was done. "Are you ready?"
"No," Emma laughed. She looked over at Remus before asking him, "Is it bad?"
"It's not bad at all," Remus said. "It's definitely different."
"Come on, go look," Sirius said, taking Emma's hands to pull her from the edge of the tub. "It looks adorable on you."
Emma was surprised when she looked at herself in the mirror. She didn't hate it at all, but it was definitely different than what she was used to. Emma never expected to see herself with short hair, but she felt it looked good on her.
She ran her hands through her hair, surprised at how it felt underneath her fingers. Sirius had cut her hair into a pixie cut, the ends choppy and cool looking. He left her hair a little longer on top to keep her waves and cut the sides and back short. She didn't realize that cutting her hair would make her change her mind about herself so much, and she couldn't stop staring at herself. But then she looked back at Remus in the reflection of the mirror and burst into laughter.
"Oh, no," Emma said through her laughter. "Now I really look like you!"
"Here's the thing, though, you're actually cute," Remus said. "I am not."
Sirius looked at Emma in the mirror, lips pursing slightly. "No, you don't look like Moony," he said after a long moment. "I mean, you're certainly cuter –" Sirius grinned as Remus elbowed him "– but you look like you. You look confident and strong, just like the brave and intelligent girl you've always been. All you needed was to…step out from behind the figurative curtain."
Emma finally met Sirius's gaze in the mirror, looking unsure. Sirius stepped past Remus and hugged Emma from behind, pulling her back against his chest so he could hug her tightly.
"Really look at yourself," Sirius said, lifting a hand up to fluff Emma's hair and parting it to the side. "I see an incredibly beautiful girl looking back at me in that mirror. I see my brilliant daughter, who isn't afraid to fight for the things she believes in and has so much to give the world. I don't see Moony, or…" Sirius trailed off for a moment, frowning slightly as he looked closer at Emma. "The point is, I see Emma Hope, and that's who you have always been."
"I'm not confident or strong," Emma muttered.
"Do you mind if I try something? I think you need to see how much of a star you really are," Sirius said. Emma gave a small and unsure nod, and a smile crossed Sirius's face as he let go of Emma. He left the bathroom, leaving Emma and Remus confused, and returned with Emma's eyeliner and mascara, which she eyed suspiciously.
"Now, you absolutely don't need it, and I know you've just had a bath, but I think you need to see yourself differently," he said, turning Emma to face him. "Close your eyes and let me work my magic."
"You know how to apply eyeliner?" Emma asked dubiously.
"God, I think he could put makeup on better than half the girls in our year," Remus said.
"Papa wore makeup?" Emma asked Remus, her jaw dropping.
"I was a rock star," Sirius said with his lopsided smile. "Used to piss my parents off, and it was brilliant. Now – close your eyes."
Emma still wasn't sure that Sirius would do a good job, but she hadn't touched her makeup in weeks. Perhaps he had a point, and it wouldn't hurt to see what she looked like. The thought had crossed her mind several times, but she couldn't convince herself to try. With a sigh, Emma closed her eyes and shook her head as Sirius guided her back to the edge of the tub. There were only two outcomes – she was going to love it, or she was going to hate it. Emma tried to have no expectations either way.
"All right, you can look now," Sirius said brightly after a while.
Several emotions went through Emma all at once when she looked at herself. It was the first time she had been able to separate her appearance and see herself as an individual. She was surprised and then in awe until finally, she could see the smallest inkling of what everyone tried to tell her. Even if she didn't feel strong or brave or confident, she could certainly look it.
"Daddy, you said I could change my mind about taking ballet classes, yeah?" Emma asked.
"Do you think you want to go back?" Remus asked, passing a quick look to Sirius of sheer relief. Emma gave a small nod.
"Just…only if I can wear long sleeves," she said. "Or something else."
Remus promised he would find out in the morning and Emma's smile was the brightest he had seen in a while.
a/n: I am learning that some of you do not go to bed when reading my fic - so this is my reminder to GO TO BED PLS. The fic isn't going anywhere, I promise!
Lu -You're perfectly all right! It's a busy time of year right now! I was getting worried that something had happened to you, so I'm glad to see that everything is all right! :D I was so torn on whether to give Emma a cat or a dog, but then Figaro popped up in my mind one day. I can confirm that Emma absolutely doesn't return to the children's home, but things get a little crazy!
Maricate - Hi! So glad you've popped on over for year four! Fenrir is TERRIBLE, but yes essentially the warning serves the same purpose hahaha. I totally laughed at Fred and George's jokes, too! I love that Fenrir has turned into a "not so much" for hate. I'm curious to know if that opinion changed by the time you reached this chapter. :) Figaro is my absolute favorite part of Pinocchio!
Lucasjan - Thank you so much! I wanted to have it calm down by the end, and I'm glad you felt I achieved that. :D
ShardAura - We'll find out soon enough how things are going to work out! :O