Break My Fall
The gift bag is completely unexpected; there are no major holidays approaching, nor is his birthday anywhere near. However, that does not stop Ruby from watching him expectantly, bouncing on her toes, barely-contained glee oozing from every single pore.
He cannot help but smile, clumsy as it may be, in response to her unabashed excitement. "What's the occasion, kiddo?" he asks, putting down his paper cup on the floor in favour of grabbing onto the handle of the gift. It is heavier than expected and stuffed to the brim with glittering tissue.
She beams, "You've been looking a little better lately, Uncle Qrow, so I thought you might like this!"
Confused, he pulls out little tufts of colourful pink tissue paper and tosses them beside his chair until he unearths the gift proper. It is but a simple, sleek grey coffee mug, the cream porcelain interior labeled upon the inner lip in a serif font, "World's Best Uncle". Underneath the mug is a box of ginger honey lemon tea from a tea shop he just knows must have been a recommendation from Weiss; there is no way a gift this muted would have ever come from Ruby alone.
The words on the mug crawl under his skin, digging into his very bones. He has not had anything to drink in a few days, yes, but if she knew what he was doing to achieve this-
Guilt rises up like vomit in his throat, like ash into the sky. He tamps it all down, reaching out to ruffle her hair. "I'm not exactly a tea drinker, Ruby."
She shrugs, a glint of pride in her eyes. "Never too late to become one," she replies simply. He winces. He knows what she means to say, to do. It's never too late to start drinking tea- to replace the void left in him.
It's a sweet sentiment. He just wishes he knew how to live up to her hopes for him. "You think you could make us a cup?" he asks, holding out the bag to her.
Rolling her eyes, she says, "But what if I want my own?"
He flicks her forehead with his forefinger. "You can share mine. C'mon."
Grinning as if nothing in the world could possibly be going wrong, Ruby skips off to the back of the briefing room where she begins to bother Ren while trying to figure out which dispenser is for hot water and which is for coffee. He envies her wholeheartedly for the energy in her steps; although he can forget his fatigue on the battlefield, in the safety of Atlas Academy, there is no respite to be found for him.
Just as Ruby returns with his new cup filled to the brim with scalding tea (he takes a moment to scold her lightly, because it's honestly a miracle she hadn't spilled any and burned her hands with how high she has filled the cup) a familiar figure walks in. Qrow winces on instinct, focusing solely upon the fragrant cup of tea in his hands; it is soothing, the warm air replacing the eternal chill which seeps into his bones mercilessly in Atlas. He wraps his fingers around the mug, allowing the heat to enter his fingertips, his palms, his heart.
The thought of Clover's touch comes to mind. He pushes it away. The guilt of what he had done- unintentional, but negative nonetheless- threatens to break him.
However, he cannot stare down at his hands forever, for the briefing begins, Clover's strong voice resonating through the room. He keeps his eyes locked on the list of missions, looking down or raising the steaming mug to his face each time the handsome silhouette walks in front of the large holoscreen at the front of the room. It is too hot to drink; if he were to open his mouth wide, he knows that the sparks of his Aura would be visible as they healed the burned skin of his tongue and the roof of his mouth. He does not stop sipping the tea, though. It is the perfect distraction- pain with little relief.
When Ruby gathers up her teammates, she comes over to take a sip from his mug now that it has had time to cool. Immediately, her nose scrunches. "Not sweet enough," she complains, eliciting a laugh from Qrow.
Then, he sits up. He does not know why he does it- yet, seeing her innocent, eternally-sweet expressions lights something within him. Whatever it is, it is warm and gentle- and before he realizes it, he leans forward and presses a kiss to her hair.
She pauses, worry and flushed embarrassment taking over her features. "Are you okay, Uncle Qrow?"
He ruffles her hair again, silently fighting back his own embarrassment for that rare moment of explicit affection. "Better with the tea, kiddo. Thanks."
Ruby and Yang head out with their team, leaving him behind. He is in no hurry, though- his day shall consist of paperwork until the evening patrol. As long as he can retain his sanity until the end of that sentry check around Mantle's wall, he will be able to say that he had gone another day sober.
Brothers, how he wishes he was not so acutely aware of how many days it has been. Hurriedly, he drinks from his mug again. It still burns slightly, but he does not care.
As usual, Clover is partnered up with him for the day. "You never came," the younger murmurs at last, almost an hour into their silent work session in the Ace Ops' office.
Qrow sighs, glancing upwards. The office looks far different in the daylight, a far cry from what it had been the night before during the storm; without the shadows cast by towering cumulonimbus clouds and the flashes of lightning arcing through the sky, the office is nothing but another uptight, pristine chamber in the Academy.
Yet, Qrow finds himself almost missing the room from the night before. Clover's arms had been so unbearably warm, after all.
"I… was caught up in something," Qrow replies after a moment. "Did you stay up?"
"No," Clover says without missing a beat. "It's fine."
Qrow pauses, looking up at the younger. The bags under his eyes are clear proof that he is lying; even without being in his unique position, Qrow would have been able to deduce that Clover was hiding something. As it is, however, Qrow can only turn his gaze back to his cup, drinking more tea hurriedly to bite back the words of apology and confusion and frustration which threaten to all jumble together inside his mouth. The tea is now cold, though, and nothing is enough to satiate Qrow's thirst.
He keeps the mug in the Ace Ops' office that evening before he heads to bed alone. He is scared to think of what may fill it up if he keeps any container in his quarters.
Thankfully, the day passes without incident. After their evening patrol- silent, tense, uncomfortable- Qrow manages to find Team JNPR training in the practice room. Although he does not usually interact much with these children when his nieces are not present, that night, he does not hesitate to step back into the role of a professor, the mantle which he had abandoned all those years before. By the time he is aware of it, hours have flown by and it is time for bed, and not a drop of liquor has passed his lips.
The next evening finds him back in that same office, filling in reports. It is almost laughable how his skills are being put to use, but he does not complain. This is James' ship to captain, whether he likes it or not. As long as their goals align, he shall do as told.
To his surprise, he spots something peculiar as he goes to make himself another cup of tea; where he had previously stashed Ruby's gift, there is now an assortment of options, all of which seem to have sprung up overnight. The only person who knows I put my stuff in here is…
When Clover enters the room for a brief moment later on, all he says is, "I'll see you later."
Clover's eyes widen, then relax, his same genial smile plastering itself across his face in a nearly laughable attempt at calm. "Of course."
Clover does not acknowledge his tiny act of kindness. Qrow almost wishes he had; then, he could shut down whatever budding hope is causing this behaviour in Clover. As it is, he just feels hollow.
The tea does not taste as good after that exchange. He drinks it anyways. It is better than the alternative, anyways.