Hey guys! So… I don't know what happened last week. I don't know if you could see the chapter I posted, nor if the problem was linked directly to me. I had initially assumed that there was a problem with the website, but now I suspect that it was some weird glitch with my computer (that seemingly only actually affected this website, oddly enough) that I really hope is fixed now. At the time, I was kind of freaking out and had just no idea what was going on. I reposted the chapter a few times and even uploaded a faux chapter 11 while I was trying to fix the problem, so I'm sorry if I triggered a bunch of alerts for you that were fake. In any case, I have reason to believe that everything is good now, so this is the new chapter, and if you didn't get a chance to read chapter 10, go ahead and do so! :)

Falling Out

"Well, hello there, Rowan!"

Normally, Merlin was happy to meet people that greeted his son. It tended to bring about pleasant conversations, happy acquaintances, and sometimes even a playmate for the toddler. This time, though, Merlin already recognized the speaker. He had trained himself to be hyper-vigilant when it came to this person. He spun around so fast that any spectators probably wondered how he did not overbalance himself and fall over. He had certainly dropped anything that he was holding, having completely forgotten about it in the heat of the moment.

As Merlin turned, his eyes were met with a plain view of Mordred scooping a giddy Rowan into his arms. He immediately bristled. How dare Mordred lay hands on his son? He barely stopped himself from stomping over and punching the ex-druid in the face. He could not cause a scene. Mordred was a knight. Merlin was the king's manservant. It would not go over well if Merlin punched Mordred- seemingly unprovoked- in the middle of town. It did not help that Arthur was rather fond of Mordred. Merlin took a deep breath in an attempt to calm his boiling rage. He needed to handle this peaceably, but he could not allow Mordred to continue touching Rowan.

Merlin strode over to the pair, trying not to appear too angry as he stopped a few feet short of the knight and subsequently commanded, "Put the boy down, Mordred."

Both Mordred and Rowan glanced up at him in surprise. They had not noticed his approach, but now that he had their attention, they both quickly took note of his anger. Mordred seemed reluctant to comply, but after suffering under Merlin's glare for a full minute, he relented, leaning down and gently placing Rowan on his own two feet. Rowan appeared confused as Mordred straightened his posture, unsure what to do next. Mordred's stare was intense, but Merlin did not lessen his glare. He wanted it to be clear that fraternizing with his boy was not okay.

"Rowan," Merlin spoke without removing his eyes from Mordred.

Rowan, startled, hesitated before heeding the call and scrambling over to Merlin. Merlin lowered his hand, and Rowan obediently grabbed it. Merlin and Mordred continued to stare each other down until Mordred finally gave in and walked away. Merlin scowled at the knight's retreating back until he was far enough away to satisfy him. Merlin exhaled in relief, the tension in his frame loosening as he did so. He knelt down and met Rowan's eyes.

"Don't go near Mordred, Rowan. He's not good."

"Mordred.. nice," Rowan shook his head in confusion.

"He's not good," Merlin repeated, "Promise me you won't go near him anymore."

Rowan was obviously struggling to understand this demand, but Merlin would not be swayed. He was beyond serious about this. He was sure that Rowan could at least draw that from what Merlin had just done and said. Even if Merlin could not explain everything to Rowan, he refused to see Mordred and Rowan together ever again. It was bad enough that he had to allow Mordred near Arthur and the other knights.

"Okay," Rowan said after a moment, sounding rather defeated, "I promise."

Merlin felt his features soften at the same time as his heart, "Thank you, Rowan," he said, ruffling the boy's tawny locks, "This is really important to me."

Rowan offered a weak smile in response.

Merlin got to his feet, brushing the dirt from his knees before gently reclaiming Rowan's hand with a softly spoken, "Come on, then," and then returning to his business as if nothing had happened at all.

Gwaine approached the physician's chambers feeling rather conflicted. He knew that Merlin was there, of course, but he had no idea how to even begin to broach the topic he had in mind. After what he had seen in the marketplace earlier that day, he was suddenly unsure of a lot of things. He had never in his life seen Merlin act so hostile toward anyone, and the fact that it was a fellow knight on the receiving end of the ire of his usually docile friend was all the more mind-boggling. Gwaine rubbed his face in stressful frustration. It occurred to him that it had been quite a while since he had spoken to Merlin at all, let alone about something serious. He racked his brain to fish out their last encounter and found himself drawing blanks. He could not even think of the last time he had seen one of the other knights speak to him. Had they been accidentally neglecting him? Had he been deliberately avoiding them? Gwaine was not sure and trying to think about it made his head spin in bemusement.

He needed to talk to Merlin. He needed to set this right, and he needed to find out what was going on. Gwaine opened the door and popped his head inside.

"Merlin?" he called, searching the space for his friend.

Merlin started, looking up from his worktable to the door in surprise before a smile- the most genuine that Gwaine had seen from him in days- spread across his features, "Oh, hello, Gwaine."

Gaius did not seem to be present. Merlin invited Gwaine to come inside, wiping his hands on a half apron as he removed it from his person and placed it on the table. Gwaine easily planted himself on a stool somewhat near to where Merlin had been working.

"What can I do for you?" Merlin asked.

"Actually, I just wanted to talk to you," Gwaine found himself unable to meet Merlin's eyes despite the truth of the statement.

Merlin's brows scrunched in confusion and maybe a bit of suspicion as the surprised, "Oh?" fell from his lips.

"Yes, I…" Gwaine hesitated, "How are you?"

He sounded completely bewildered as he answered, "Um, I'm fine… Why do you ask? Are you alright?"

"Fine," he assured, "just… what happened in town today?"

"What do you mean?"

"With Mordred," Gwaine clarified, "and Rowan."

Comprehension finally dawned, and Gwaine hoped that he had successfully displayed his worry and curiosity. He watched a hint of the anger he had earlier witnessed steal across his friend's features as he reflected upon the event to which Gwaine was referring before it was suppressed.

Merlin sighed, "Nothing you need concern yourself with, Gwaine."

What? Gwaine was almost impressed that Merlin had not tried to deny the event or deflect the question as he was often wont to do. However, that may have made it even more concerning to Gwaine because if not even Merlin could deny that there was a problem.. then there was definitely a problem.

"It's a little late for that," Gwaine gently confessed, then, after a lengthy pause, he asked again, "Why were you so upset to see Mordred with Rowan?"

Merlin was silent, and Gwaine noted the way he kept his eyes trained on the floor and his fists kept clenching and un-clenching.

"Why did you forbid Rowan to see Mordred?" it was a guess, but he needed something to press Merlin, or the man would just remain silent.

At the question, Merlin raised his head and Gwaine noted the fire in his friend's eyes, as well as the furious tension in his voice and shoulders as he spoke, "I will run my household as I see fit. It is not your business to question my decisions. Now, if that is all you came for, I think it might be best if you leave."

Gwaine was utterly shocked at this pronouncement. He could not even find his voice. He had never in his wildest dreams imagined that Merlin would throw him out. Were they not friends? He desperately searched Merlin's face for any sign that he might relent or that he was only joking, but Merlin was perfectly serious, and Gwaine already knew it. Feeling a stinging in his eyes and a difficulty catching his breath, Gwaine averted his gaze and walked dejectedly out of the room.

He continued walking all the way back to his own chambers without looking up from the ground. After entering, he rested his back against the wood of the door and sank to the floor as it shut behind him.

What was going on? Where had he messed up? How did he let Merlin drift so far away from him? He felt that he was almost a stranger to what was once his best friend. How could he let this happen? More importantly, how could Gwaine fix it? They hadn't spoken in days- weeks, maybe- and now Gwaine could not help but feel that something between them had been irreparably ruptured. Gwaine's face fell into his hands as he tried to wrap his head around the idea that perhaps Merlin was not his friend anymore.

Can we just talk about how frustrated I am with everything that is season 5? It just makes me want to scream. Not even I know how many times I asked Merlin what the heck his problem was because, seriously, Merlin, what is your problem? Rrrargh! I'm not over it. But it's not just that.. it also seemed like everyone else was especially terrible to and distant from Merlin in this season, as well (though I honestly think that also has something to do with Merlin himself putting distance between them and being cold to everyone). I have plenty of theories about what is going on, but, in short, I hate it in any case. Watching the fifth season just made me feel frustrated and anxious the whole time, and then I wasn't even rewarded with a happy ending, just more anxiety and frustration. *heavy sigh*

Anyway, I tried to get some kind of handle on that growing distance between Merlin and the knights, as well as the animosity between Merlin and Mordred that I hate so much. I could never fully tell if Mordred actually reciprocated this animosity or not (before the last couple episodes, of course). So, yeah.