Ada could not have the conversation that James wanted to have at this moment. Panic was coursing through every fabric of her being. He was the last person whom she wanted to see her here, now, in this condition. She straightened her shoulders, raised her head proudly and said,
"Lady Burbridge requires your attention Doctor, she is currently resting in her room, let us make haste."
Ada climbed the staircase with Doctor Walton in tow. Dr Walton's head swam with emotions, confusion, perplexity, sorrow, even anger at the state in which he had just found the women he had once proposed to. How had Sister Russell, stalwart of her profession, fallen to the state of unmarried mother? And what was she doing here, in a nurse's uniform, in rural Oxfordshire? A pang hit him in the stomach, as if to confirm something he already knew, he had never stopped loving her.
"Do you require my assistance Doctor?" Ada's sharp tongue immediately snapped through his thoughts as they reached the landing outside of Lady Constance's room.
"Yes, please, Nurse Russell," Dr Walton stammered in reply as he opened the door.
"Ah my dear Dr Walton," Lady Constance called as he entered, "I'm afraid I have had a rather funny turn this morning. Ah, you've met my new nurse, Ada," she added, "Ada, this is."
"Dr James Walton," Ada interjected, "formally of The London, now of Harley Street. We worked together at the former."
"Ah you are acquainted, wonderful."
"One might say that," Ada added, flashing a pointed glance at Dr Walton.
"Now, Lady Burbridge, let's have a look at you shall we?" Dr Walton said kindly, pulling a stethoscope from out of his leather case.
After Dr Walton had made his examinations and had settled beside Lady Constance's bedside for a cup of tea, Ada slipped out of the bedroom, down the grand staircase and out into the afternoon air. She sat on the steps of Burbridge Hall, chin in her hands, her abdomen now firmly resting in her lap. "How could he be here?" she thought to herself, "of all the doctors in Harley Street, why did it have to be him?" As she mused, her baby started to wriggle, digging their heels into her ribcage. She massaged the point where she felt the contact. "Haunted," that's how she felt, "haunted by the men of her past. The father of her child, whoever he was, would never leave her. And dear James." She took a deep breath in to stifle the tears which she knew were going to come. "Why did she leave him?"
The creaking of the oak panelled front door interrupted Ada's thoughts. There behind her stood Dr Walton. She began to get to her feet, calling "have you got a cab arranged Doctor?" as she did so.
"Please don't get up Ada," James answered, "and no, not yet, I wondered, if I could talk to you."
"Yes, of course," Ada replied, settling back on the step. To her great surprise, James sat next to her, put an arm gently around her shoulders and placed a kiss into her hair. "What are you doing?" she hissed at him, but did not pull away.
"What happened Ada?" James whispered into her ear, ignoring her question.
"I was out in the slums after curfew one night, " she replied, staccato and emotionless, "I was attacked and brutally raped. I was dumped upon the ground like worthless rags. I knew I was pregnant as soon as my next period was late. I hid my secret for a while. Then Matron found out. Mr Holland knows Lady Burbridge. She took me and the baby in. I am due to give birth in nine weeks."
James' face looked thunderstruck. "I don't know what to say," he eventually managed to force out of his mouth.
"There's not a lot to say really is there?" Ada remarked, her eyes meeting James' for the first time, "here I am, condemned by the hand that man hath dealt me. A fallen woman, damaged goods, unfit to ever appear in polite society or on a hospital ward again. Left to rot here until I die or until I am shuffled off to some other stronghold, or exhibition hall, to be shamed and sentenced as an unmarried mother." Ada blinked a few tears back.
"Ada, don't be like that," James gasped, "it can't be," he began.
"Don't you dare, James Walton!" Ada growled at him, "you haven't got a clue have you? Through the actions of a drunkard who couldn't keep himself to himself I have lost my home, my employment, my status in society, my friends, my reputation, and any hope of ever finding either love or employment again. I am nothing now. I was Sister. Sister Ada Russell. I could hold my head high and proud. Be proud of who I was. Now when I leave here, I curl my hands into my sleeves to hide the fact I am unmarried, I cannot look a stranger in the eye in case they notice what I have become. A mere shadow. I have lost everything, including my very self."
Tears were cascading down Ada's face now. James took his handkerchief out of his pocket and wiped her eyes.
"You're still the woman I fell in love with," James admitted, replacing his damp handkerchief into his pocket.
"What do you mean?"
"Beautiful, passionate, proud, compassionate, never one to mince her words, with the morality of a saint and the eloquence of a preacher, always knowing and speaking her own mind."
"James, stop it."
"Why Ada?"
"You cannot love me, not like this."
James reached out his hand and traced the circumference of Ada's abdomen round and round a few times. "Oh I can," he sighed.
"But," Ada spluttered, "how."
"I never stopped loving you Ada," James said, placing her hand in his, "nothing you could do, or say, could change how I felt about you. When you sent back my ring, yes, you broke my heart into a thousand shatters, but yet something swept those pieces back together. The thought of one day meeting you again. And now I have. Your child is part of you, another part of you for me to love."
Ada could not answer him. Every time she tried to open her mouth, the sound failed to come out. James let go of her hand, got to his feet, and began to walk down the driveway, but stopped after a few paces, and turned to face Ada again.
"Lady Burbridge has my address, write to me," he insisted, "I want to see you again, I want to meet your child. Farewell, Nurse Russell," he waved as he turned and headed purposefully away from the house.
"James!" Ada called after him. But he did not turn round again.