Nobody Listens to Kix
Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to Star Wars: The Clone Wars or any related titles, characters, plots, settings, etc. These rights are the sole property of George Lucas, Dave Filoni, the Walt Disney Company, and their various publishers and distributors. I own only the original elements of this story, the writing and publishing of which earn me no money.
Case 00599: Captain Rex
"Rex," the captain answered without preamble. He sounded thoroughly miserable, voice thick and intonation slurred.
"Captain, Kix here. I need you to come down and sign the wounded files."
"Already?" Rex asked, sounding somewhere between weary and impressed. "You're never fast when it comes to paperwork."
"True, so hurry over before the next crisis walks in."
"No, I sent Hardcase to scrub the mess," the captain joked with a pained laugh.
"I'll see you soon?" Kix pressed.
"On my way now, Kix."
When Kix ended the transmission, he found Commander Tano watching him. "You haven't even started your paperwork, have you?"
"No," he said, unrepentantly. "But he wouldn't have come here otherwise. You should be sleeping."
"Especially if Rex is coming here," she agreed. "How often will you be waking me up?"
"Once every fifteen minutes for the next two hours."
"Every-! How do you expect me to sleep?"
"Very well, considering that your eyes are already closed," Kix said softly, knowing that she would likely be asleep before the end of his retort. She certainly didn't answer.
When Rex arrived, he was wearing full armor, including his helmet.
"Where are the forms?"
"Oh, I have them locked away," Kix said blithely. "Let me finish this round of status checks and I'll get them for you. Sit down and take off your bucket for now."
Kix fiddled around the medbay until he saw that the captain hadn't taken either of his suggestions. With a sigh, he retrieved the thin stack of forms he had completed - none of which were from that day - and set them down on the desk.
"It's been a while since you came in for an examination," Kix remarked.
"Haven't needed one," Rex said, scrawling his signature across the pages. A moment later, he paused and violently sneezed inside his helmet, the external speakers muffling the sound into a dull burst of static.
"What was that, Captain?" Kix asked, voice a touch too casual.
"Nothing," he said sharply. "There must have been some dust in my helmet."
Before Kix could respond, Rex signed the last form with a flourish. "Goodbye, Kix."
"Captain, you and I both know that you're sick. Your nose is stuffed up and your throat hurts. I can hear it. Find a bed, let me examine you, and you probably won't even need to spend the night." Rex had paused when Kix started speaking, but he didn't turn. "I've already called the General once tonight. I don't mind doing it a second time."
Even through the heavily tinted visor common to all trooper helmets, Kix could feel the captain's glare. "Kix, I order you not to call the general."
It was Rex's 'authority' voice, the one that made troopers obey even over a HUD frequency. It almost hurt not to salute and agree… at least, it would if Kix could pop the tiny, gleeful bubble rising inside of him.
With no small amount of effort, he kept the smirk from his face and voice as he said, "Sorry, sir. According to the GAR regs, medics take authority position when it comes to matters of health where the men are concerned. Just like Saleucami, I outrank you in this. Pick a bed."
If glares could kill, Kix would certainly have died from the heat of the stare emanating from underneath the 501st-blue Jaig eyes. Still, Rex made his way to a bed - the next one down from the commander - and removed his helmet.
Kix was there a split second later to take a scan. He scowled at the results displayed on the datapad. "You have a severe infection in your sinuses, and it's beginning to affect your lungs as well. Your temperature is rising and you're showing signs of fatigue, muscle aches, and dehydration."
"I'm fine," Rex said stiffly.
"You look like hell and I'm willing to bet you feel it, too. There's no karking way you should have fought in the battle today." Rex's face went carefully blank and Kix sighed loudly. "That's why you didn't come in, isn't it? You knew I would sideline you."
"It wasn't this bad when we set out. When I realized how severe it was, it was too late. I couldn't send the 501st into battle without me." He chuckled and coughed with the effort. "Didn't do a lot of good. I got the commander injured because she had to save me."
"You and about twenty other men," Kix countered. "She would have had to help them even if you were completely healthy. There's no guarantee she wouldn't have been hurt either way."
Rex eyed him strangely. "Are you trying to make me feel better even while you're mad at me?"
Kix shrugged. "Occupational hazard," he quipped.
The medic found a bottle deep in the medical cabinet and brought it back to Rex's beside. He uncapped it and squeezed a healthy amount of thick ointment onto the end of a cotton swab.
"Brace yourself," Kix advised, not giving Rex the chance to do so before he swabbed the inside of the captain's nostrils.
Rex tried to rear back, sputtering at the burn and the smell of the ointment, but Kix only followed his movements. When the swab was done, Kix deposited it in a nearby waste can before preparing another one. This time, he smeared the viscous substance just under Rex's nose.
Kix stepped away. "Just a moment, Captain. I just need to check on the commander."
Rex, busy wrinkling his nose and shooting disgusted looks around the medbay, didn't answer.
Kix woke Commander Tano and she sat up, blue eyes narrow as she held a hand against her bruised montrals. He asked her name, age, where she was, and various other items, relieved when she answered every question without a struggle.
When he finally ran out of things to ask, she offered him an impish smile. "Any more questions?"
"I've got one," Rex interjected, eyes still watering from the ointment in and under his nose. "Did you tell Kix on me, kid?"
"I didn't mean to, I just-"
"She just let it slip due to her suspected concussion," Kix said sharply. "Go back to sleep, Commander. I'll wake you again in another fifteen minutes."
Commander Tano nodded and laid back down, wrapping the covers around herself as she turned to face the other direction. Her breathing evened out in moments.
Kix returned to Rex's bedside and the captain narrowed his eyes at Kix. "So you only find a bedside manner when the commander is asleep?"
"No, I only use my bedside manner when you're not making the commander feel guilty for accidentally telling me about an illness you should have reported yourself." Rex winced at Kix's condemnation and the medic sighed. "I know you didn't mean anything by it, but she's prone to blame herself, especially where injuries are concerned."
"Fair enough," Rex eventually agreed with a half-hearted nod. "I didn't think it through and I'm glad you stopped me. What now?"
"Well, the ointment is a combination of decongestant, bacta, and anti-inflammatory painkillers to lower your temperature. None of those will address your dehydration or fatigue. You have two choices: monitor and record your own fluid intake and output for the next full day and take a sleeping aid I give you or stay overnight in the medbay and I'll do those things for you."
Rex carefully considered the choices. "How long in the medbay?"
"It is currently…" Kix checked his chrono, "ten p.m. I can have you discharged by eight tomorrow morning."
"I'll stay here, I suppose," Rex agreed begrudgingly.
"Excellent choice, Captain," Kix congratulated, moving to get Rex a full pitcher of water and a glass. After draining four glasses and watching Kix interrogate the commander once more, Rex fell asleep and Kix went to work on his paperwork.
Author's Note - So, you actually don't have to wake people up to prevent harm from a concussion, but I grew up reading stories about the practice and I wanted to include it in this fic. Also, is that nasty concoction Kix used on Rex a necessity or a slightly-outdated form of medicine given as half a punishment? You decide!
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