The first thing she thought when she felt stirrings in her stomach was This is the wrong time. I don't want you. The guilt for that thought had burnt her from inside out ever since.
When she lifts her head, tears and anger blurring her gaze, to see them at her paws, so small and innocent, she feels relief. She feels gratitude to their spirits for persisting long enough for her to see them one last time. She vows to her kits that she will prove she wanted them, and that the loss of them is what wounds her more than anything.