Trigger warning for suicide mentions.
19th December 2018
"What on earth did you just spend £1000 on?" Gwen exclaimed as she checked the bank statement. "What the hell have you been buying?".
"Christmas presents" Arthur lied. Although it wasn't exactly a lie. He had given £250 to his three eldest sons and put £50 in Amhar's trust fund. He did spend the other £200 on Christmas presents for the family, not that Gwen needed to know.
"You're spending an awful lot of time on the phone" Gwen commented. "And doing the night feeds which he seems to be dropping now that he's in his own room".
"Hmm" Arthur said as he heard his phone beep. He smiled as he saw Dylan was texting him, replying to his eldest son quickly. 'Sure. I'll take you to see your mum tomorrow. It's rather fitting, anyway. Take care son 3'.
"We have Amhar's checkup at the hospital at eleven" Gwen reminded Arthur as she checked the calendar. "Are you coming or not?".
"I'm busy" Arthur replied.
"Too busy to go with your baby son to an appointment about his surgery when he was eight days old?" Gwen scoffed. "You need to get your fucking act together, Arthur".
"I know" Arthur sighed. "But I already had made some commitments, you know that".
"First you spend ridiculous amounts on Christmas presents when you know we don't need to and now this. So figure it out".
"Fine" Arthur spat. "I have things to do at work".
"Well go do it then" Gwen retorted. "And figure it out. Or not". She looked sadly at Amhar and picked up the whimpering baby.
Arthur walked towards the door and grabbed his coat and put his shoes on before slamming it. The day was going badly. This day always was. December had tended to be a hard month for Arthur. The month that he and Sophia found out that they were having a daughter. He decided to tell his father about Sophia and his son Dylan. Those lonely weeks. Sophia killing herself on the 19th. Twenty years to the day. Twenty years.
He quickly checked his phone and saw that Dylan wanted picking up from the Camelot train station so he strapped himself into his car and drove himself over.
"Hey son" Arthur smiled as Dylan climbed into the passenger seat. "It's good to see you again".
"You too" Dylan smiled nervously. "So, are you going to tell me what's gotten you looking so upset today?".
"You'll see" Arthur said quietly. "When you get there. Ready to see mum?".
"Positive" Dylan confirmed with a smile. Arthur smiled back at his eldest son and drove towards the graveyard, stopping at Tesco to get some flowers first. It was on the outskirts on Camelot, a calm and peaceful place.
"How's the baby?" Dylan asked.
"He's doing well" Arthur replied. "He's having his checkup today from his surgery".
"Shouldn't you have gone with him?" Dylan frowned.
"No" Arthur sighed. "Not today. Did you bring anything?".
"I did, actually" Dylan admitted. He reached into his pocket and took out a small heart made out of ice lolly sticks. "We were told to make hearts in reception I remember. Valentine's Day. One for each family member. I did one for my adopted parents, sister, and both of my biological parents".
"Both?" Arthur asked.
"Yeah" Dylan smiled as he reached into his pocket. "This is for you. Dad" he added with a grin.
"Thank you" Arthur smiled. His eye's began to get hot, he knew his nose had turned red as his vision blurred. The heart had "Dadda" in scrawny writing. "Thank you".
"Don't mention it" Dylan smirked. "Now, shall we go see mum?".
Arthur nodded and they began to walk into the cemetery. Dylan followed his father as he took the many twists and turns to his mother's grave. Arthur knew the way like the back of his hand. He tended to go at least twice a month and found himself going more often with Amhar's situation. He tended to go every week in December but went almost every day this month given it was the twenty year anniversary.
"We're here" Arthur said as he looked down at the flower adorned grave. Many flowers came out of the ground and there was an urn on the side, which Arthur changed the dying flowers for the fresh ones.
"Seventeenth March 1982 to nineteenth December 1998" Dylan read. "Nineteenth December? That's today".
"It is" Arthur confirmed with a nod. "Twenty years. Today".
"So that's why you didn't go with the baby" Dylan mused.
"I wanted to come with you anyway. I've lost you before and I didn't want to loose you again. I already missed out on most of your life, I don't want to miss anymore".
Morgana was really starting to get fed up with people turning up on her doorstep first thing in the morning. Everyone knew she wasn't a morning person and while she did live in a flat so it was possible that it was one of the neighbours visitors accidentally getting a wrong number it was happening too often for it to be a coincidence.
"Yes?" She grunted into the intercom. Why did everyone insist on interrupting her beauty sleep.
"It's me ... me, Gwen" she sounded hoarse. She gasped and sniffed before continuing. "Can I come in?".
"Of course" Morgana sighed as she buzzed her in. She entered the apartment crying as she lugged Amhar's car seat in and set it on the sofa.
"What's the matter?" Morgana asked. It was rare for Gwen to get so worked up.
"Amhar has a check up in Birmingham. Arthur's known about it for ages but still wouldn't come" Gwen sobbed.
"That's awful of him" Morgana sighed. "Is there anything I can do?".
"Can you come to the appointment with me, if that's okay?" Gwen checked.
"It is okay" Morgana smiled. "If we have time to stop at the costa drive through".
"That we do" Gwen grinned.
"Good. I'm starving".
Morgana quickly changed and did her hair and makeup in the car as they drove towards the hospital. Given it was in the second largest city in England, combined with the morning rush hour and the fact that it was near to Christmas so many people were getting their last minute shopping done. True to her word, they did stop at the Costa drive through much to Morgana's delight.
As they sat in the hospital waiting room, Gwen kept on jiggling the pushchair and pacing back and forth with it.
"Stop jiggling the pram, you don't want Amhar to get sick" Morgana chucked. She took Amhar out of the carrycot and held him while Gwen kept shaking the pushchair.
"I'm scared" Gwen sighed.
"I know. But look at him now! He can hold his head up, he is doing so well, and he recovered remarkably".
"I know" Gwen sighed again. "But I feel like this is all a punishment. For Lancelot and I's affair. Like I deserve it. I mean it probably was his kid that I lost".
"Hey, hey" Morgana reassured the older woman. "The baby wouldn't be punished because of what you did. It is a rare condition which happens early in pregnancy, there was nothing you could do".
"They say that the sins of a father reflect in a son" Gwen pointed out.
"Sins of a father" Morgana corrected. "Not mother. You're his mother not his father. That and I know that Arthur has a good heart".
"I know" Gwen agreed. "Yet he's been acting strange as of late".
"I wouldn't worry about it".
As the two women exited the hospital, Gwen was bouncing off the walls. Amhar had a remarkable recovery and there was no denying it. The consultant was so pleased that he decided that instead of the baby having an MRI in three months time that he would be fine for another six months—and if all was well after he just turned two that they could discharge him from the CDH unit.
25th December 2018
Christmas 2018 fell on a Tuesday. Much like many Christmases before, Morgause, Morgana, Arthur and Gwen spent it together at Arthur and Gwen's house in Monmouth, the main change this year being the baby. Even though he wouldn't remember his first Christmas his aunts had taken more than enough photos and he had an arrange of baby toys from family members and Santa alike.
Just a week later it was time for the new year: 2019. While Morgause stayed up with Cenred, Gwen and Arthur stayed up with the baby both Merlin and Morgana ended up going to party at a pub in central Camelot with their friends and watching the fireworks. Arthur made sure to get up early and meet with Dylan, much to Gwen's dismay (not that the knew about Dylan). He had also gotten in touch with the twins and planned to meet them with their mother at again, the place of meetings, the magic horse.
A/N: Aaaand we're nearing the end. Not long at all and these next chapters should go rather fast