Conversations like this made Ben want to curl up in a ball and die.

The smell of rich earth permeated their lungs as he, Poe, and Finn approached the base's underground storage bunker, where they found Kaydel and Leia quietly conversing at the top of the stairs.

"Where are the three of you going?" Kaydel asked as if she couldn't tell by their guilty expressions.

Poe cleared his throat. "We wanted to talk with Silyana. The prisoner, I mean."

Ben rolled his eyes.

"Were you going to run this by me first?"

"Um..."

Kaydel sighed and looked over at the General.

Leia suppressed a smile. "Poe, I realize you have had some freedom with this situation, but this is an official Resistance operation and you need to follow procedure."

"Of course, Commander. I'm sorry."

"To be fair, we were going to come to you immediately after this," Ben said. "It's regarding Kira Ren. I've - I've determined her heading."

"You're certain?" Leia asked.

"Yes."

"I thought the plan was for you and Silyana Ren to come up with a list of possibilities that we could analyze." Kaydel narrowed her eyes.

"It's confirmed. She's headed to the Endor system."

"Endor?" Leia exclaimed. "Why?"

He gritted his teeth. "Vader."

"Ah." Leia's lips turned down in a deep frown.

She crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow, and with a tone of barely restrained ire, Kaydel asked, "How did you get confirmation?"

Heat rose up his neck and his mouth opened but words didn't come.

"You should probably tell them," Poe muttered. Ben shot him a silencing glare that was ignored. "It sucks, man, but we've got enough secrets as it is. It'll be easier if they know."

What would Leia think? She'd dedicated herself to the Resistance; could their healing relationship weather this reveal? Ben steeled himself.

"I... spoke with her. With Kira."

"You established contact? How?" A suspicious divot formed between Kaydel's brows, the hand by her blaster twitching.

Muscles in his shoulders bunched and released as his instincts wrestled to silence his voice. The reaction was irrational: he hadn't chosen the bond, but neither had it compromised his integrity or the Resistance. Inevitably, he was letting them down somehow, but Leia held Ben's gaze and gave him a small nod. "I've been in contact with her since the Supremacy."

Silence strained the damp, cool air. The weight of everyone's gaze burned like lasers.

After a minute, Poe raised hands in placation and said, "It's not as bad as it sounds."

"How bad is it supposed to sound?" Finn gaped with disbelief, wide eyes darting back and forth between them.

"You should probably explain more, son." Leia's tone reminded him acutely of his childhood, the reserved quiet before the storm.

He licked his lips. Having shared with Poe and Silyana made this time marginally easier, if only he muscled through the incredible intimacy of the revelation. "Through the Force, I share a bond with Kira. I've deduced that this bond has been between us for a while, but the physical manifestations are relatively new. We're unable to control the manifestations, but it doesn't extend beyond ourselves. Our location and surroundings are concealed when we appear to each other."

"That's..." Kaydel trailed off to a whisper. "Not possible. "Is it?"

"Oh, it's possible." Leia nodded and pursed her lips in thought.

Kaydel turned to Poe, a hint of anger in her words, "You knew about this?"

"Only for a few days."

Kaydel raised an eyebrow. "Does this mean that Silyana knows about the bond too?"

"Yes, I told them at the same time."

"I take it then that the audio records from her cell have been tampered with? I should have been notified if the transcripts included this."

Poe and Ben glanced at each other. "That wasn't us."

"Then how did that conversation disappear? Everything in that cell is recorded and reviewed."

Anxiety clenched around his heart. He could be grateful no one had seen, but they may be less likely to trust him. "It was Silyana, most likely."

"Excuse me?"

Leia tsked. "The Force has many applications."

"Kriff," Kaydel exclaimed, putting a hand over her eyes. "Sorry, General. I'm just having trouble keeping up with all this."

"You don't need to apologize, Commander. This is a lot of new information," Leia said, ever the steady ship in a meteor shower.

Ben opened his mouth to build a defense, to try to explain, "I –" but Leia shut him up with a sharp shake of her head.

Kaydel exhaled slowly and lowered her hand. "We need to move on this information immediately, and we need to keep this close. Dameron, I want you on this with Solo."

"Yes, Commander."

"We're going to go talk to Silyana, all of us, so that we're on the same page. Finn, I want you there too, since apparently nothing is a secret between you three." They had the good sense to be abashed. "Anyway, I know you have questions regarding your project, so you can ask them now."

Finn nodded. "Alright."

Kaydel straightened her shoulders. "Fine. Let's get this over with."

"I'd like a moment with my son. He'll meet you down there."

"Yes, General."

The others clattered away down the stairs, the sound of the conversation fading with their footsteps.

"Ben."

He flinched, ready for chastisement.

"It's true, isn't it?"

A pang stabbed through his chest when he met her soft brown eyes, the same color as his own. "I'm sorry, Mom. I should've told you, but I didn't know how. I've lied to you, betrayed the Resistance, I've failed you, Mom, I'm so sorry –"

"Ben." She stood on tiptoe to cup his chin in her hand. "I'm not angry. I'm not upset. Startled, maybe."

The warmth from her small palm made him shudder.

"You are strong, son. I've only seen that strength once before, in Rey. That you were bound seems inevitable in many ways. I could see it, but I never guessed the depth it would reach.

"It doesn't – it doesn't feel like a gift." The memory of Kira's accusatory words rang clear – that he didn't want this, that it was a burden, that he wanted to be free of her – echoing against his guilt.

"I wouldn't consider it a gift either. I've been given many things in life, many duties and responsibilities that I didn't want, at least not at first. But you've been granted an opportunity. A chance to make a difference, a chance with someone who could know you like no one else can. Even your poor old mother."

His lips trembled, then his whole face crumpled. He bent down and buried it in the crook of her neck before the sobs building in his chest could break free.

"Oh, son." Her arms wrapped around him, holding fast. "I'm sorry I made you feel like you couldn't share this with me."

Words were muffled against her shoulder. "But the Resistance –"

"This is bigger than the Resistance. These things come and go. The Republic, the Senate, the Rebellion, the Empire, they have their time and place. They're not forever. They're created by people, simple people like us who make mistakes and get old and die. I've tried to use the opportunities I've been given to do what's best for the galaxy and for the people I care about. But you, Ben, you are more important to me than that. I know I never acted like it and I failed you, just as I failed Rey and your father and your uncle. I can't lose you, too." Her voice choked on tears. "And I want to believe that we haven't lost Rey either. You've given me so much hope today."

He sucked in a sob through gritted teeth, hands crumpling the back of her uniform as she stroked his spine.

"I believe you could balance each other, if you can come to an understanding. This conflict has been going on for three generations, but you and Rey could end it. Not overnight, but I could see this starting something new." She pulled away and brushed tears from his cheeks. "It won't be easy, and I don't want to ask that of you, but if you want to – I think you can have it."

Ben shook his head. "I don't know. I don't know if I want it."

"You do know, son. You haven't let the past hold you back. But don't let the present situation trap you. I make mistakes too, but if I let the possibility of those mistakes paralyze me, I'd never do anything. You can't be afraid to reach for it. I know you, Ben Solo. You have the tenacity to push forward. Your father was the same way. Always finding a way out when it seemed impossible."

He groaned. How could he forget? "She killed Dad. After everything she did – I forgave her, but I don't want you to feel like you need to forgive her too because of this bond."

"I know." Leia sighed. "There are so many things I wish could be different. But do you know what? Your father knew what he was getting into. He wanted her to come home, and I refuse to let his death be meaningless." Her hands wandered, straightening and dusting off his jacket. "It can't be meaningless. Not after everything we survived. But he loved her. Loved her in his own way, like she was his daughter. If there's a chance we could have her back, even in the smallest way, I want that."

He caught her hands and pressed them to his chest. "I promise, Mother. I'll bring her back."

"No, no, no. No promises that aren't yours to make. Just tell me you'll be safe, you'll be smart, and you'll be wise."

A firm nod. "I will."

She smiled, the glimmer of tears clinging to her lashes. "You do realize you tried to promise your mother to bring the Kira Ren back home to make her happy, don't you?"

"I suppose so."

She patted his cheek. "Nice to know my son loves me."

A cough cleared his throat. "I'm going to catch up with them. Dameron's probably impatient to talk to Silyana."

"He told you?"

"He did."

"And?"

"They're going to be the death of each other."

She chuckled and shook her head. "Maybe it'll be good for them."

"Maybe." He stepped forward and pressed a kiss to her forehead. "I've got to go."

"Be wise."

Inactivity was the enemy of Finn's peace of mind, so he focused on the others rather than the antsy feeling in his gut. Waiting for Kylo to rejoin them, they stood in an awkward huddle next to the container that held Silyana. Kaydel's arms were crossed, jaw tight, as she regularly checked the chrono on her wrist. She had enough stress as commander of the Resistance's intelligence branch without being blindsided with a major security breach. Not to mention having a high priority asset in the form of a Knight of Ren crash unexpectedly on base. In a twisted way, the level of her distress eclipsed his own.

"Do you think Leia's ripping Ben a new one?" Poe whispered to him.

Finn shrugged. "Likely not. She's more used to the Force side of things than we are."

"You don't think she's mad?"

"Were you?"

Poe flushed. "No."

"Anyway, I think she's the type to be disappointed, not angry."

"She gets angry."

Finn half-smiled. "I think she reserves her wrath for you."

He rubbed the back of his neck. "Yeah, well, she's a lot more patient than she should be."

Kaydel shuffled her feet. "Where is he? I have reports to get through and I'd really like to eat dinner tonight –"

"I'm here." Kylo emerged from the shadows. "I apologize, Connix. That took longer than expected."

Finn squinted. Kylo's voice was a little scratchy.

"Let's go then," Kaydel said and buzzed the intercomm. "Hands on the table."

The speaker whined with feedback. "I appreciate you including me in your pea-brained discussions, but it would be nice if you'd give me a bit of warning before you barge in."

"Ren, hands on the table," Kaydel ordered, exasperated.

"Cool your engines. At least kriffing wait till I'm decent."

They stared at each other awkwardly as a few more expletives crackled from the intercomm.

"Alright, hands are on the table."

The door buzzed and the four of them trooped inside.

Silyana Ren sprawled in a chair at a metal top table, unmasked and restrained by the bracelets on her wrists. Theoretical recognition that the Knight was on base was easy enough for Finn to reconcile, but seeing her in the flesh was a jolt. Maybe her casual appearance was more of a shock than her presence. Conversely, neither Kaydel, Kylo, and Poe were as calm, which made the situation more surreal.

Her jacket was half-zipped and strands of hair straggled from a bun at the back of her neck. Finn glanced around. The cell didn't have a shower, or a mirror, or a towel, but there was a large puddle under the sink and the ends of her hair and her collar were damp. The idea of her washing up in the sink like a normal person, making the best of the resources available, was too human.

"You're wet," Poe exclaimed, looking her over. "Why are you wet?" The chair creaked as she sagged further.

"I was attempting this thing called personal hygiene, Dameron. Is that not allowed?" She scanned each of them and her eyebrow quirked when she met Finn's eyes.

"Leave Dameron alone," Ben sighed. "We need your input about finding Rey."

"It couldn't wait until I put my boots on?" She lifted a bare foot under the table and wiggled her toes. Finn shifted his weight. She was entirely too nonchalant.

"I thought I understood finding Kira Ren was a priority for you," Kaydel said.

"It is. Fine, I'll cut the banter. What did you find out?"

"She's going to Endor," Ben said.

She lifted her hands in a So? gesture. "Okay."

He cleared his throat. "Skywalker would tell us about how after he defeated Emperor Palpatine, he took Vader's body and burned it on a pyre in the forests of Endor's moon. Kira would know this, and by going to his final resting place, perhaps to find a remnant of Vader himself..."

"Seems plausible." She considered. "More than, actually."

"Has she ever talked about Endor?" Connix stepped forward. "Shown any interest in it at all?"

"Have you ever been?"

"No." Connix's brow wrinkled.

"Me neither. And that's because it's one of the most boring planets in the galaxy."

"As we've just mentioned, it was the site of a momentous, historic battle and Darth Vader's resting place, so I'd disagree. It's not 'boring,'" Ben interjected. "It's actually rather significant."

A malicious grin crept onto her face. "You dangle the historical bait, and the nerd emerges."

"Could you take one damn thing seriously?" he growled.

"What makes you think I'm not?" She crossed her ankles, scrunching her toes again. Poe put a hand on Ben's chest to prevent him from advancing. "As I was saying before I was sidetracked, no. She hasn't expressed any interest in the Endor system. Largely because it's boring to everyone except nerds like him. And he's the reason she's going."

A parade of emotions crossed Ben's face. No one spoke.

"Anyway, you all didn't need my input to confirm what Ben already knew. So, why'd you come?"

"It's part of the deal," Connix said. "You give us information, we find Kira Ren."

"So you're saying it's time to start paying up."

"That was the understanding."

Silyana narrowed her glacial blue eyes and scanned them again, fixing on Finn. He stepped back unconsciously.

"Tell me, what do you want to know?" she asked.

How the kriff? Finn glanced at Connix. She pressed her lips together and nodded. Clearing his throat, he said, "What has Hux done with Phasma's position? And what was the extent of her duties? He hasn't replaced her, we know that much."

"You're Finn, aren't you?"

His eyebrows flew up in surprise. "How did you know?"

"You're the traitor. Everyone knows who you are. The targets in the practice ranges have your face on them." A shark-like smirk lifted her lips. "You almost gave Hux an aneurysm on multiple occasions, which also makes you a personal hero of mine."

His jaw tightened. "I can't say it's mutual."

"Hero isn't something I aspire to."

"Silyana," Poe murmured.

She acquiesced with a slight eye roll. "Hux hasn't replaced Phasma, or redistributed her duties. At least, not before he became Supreme Leader. It's his personal project, even more so than Starkiller was, so he wasn't going to hand that over to just anyone. He wouldn't be able to keep that up as Supreme Leader, though, not without something falling through the cracks. Which is ideal if you want to plan a revolt."

Silence. Water dripped from the faucet.

"What, was I not supposed to know that?"

"You actually don't know that," Connix said firmly. "You've simply made a guess to try to leverage the situation."

"Force, you're no fun." Silyana sighed. "Fine, I inferred it. Finn has a terrible sabacc face, by the way. But if this alliance is going to work, I expect the flow of information to be a two-way street. I want honesty, Commander. If you don't tell me what you're doing, how am I supposed to know what intel you're after?"

"I'm sure we'll figure out a way. You'll get updates on our search for Kira Ren, and that's the extent of the information you can expect."

"You seem to believe you hold the power. Let me remind you that you most definitely do not." Her eyes glinted. "I'm going with Ben to the Endor system."

"That is out of the question."

"Which part? The honesty, or that I'm going to the Endor system?"

"You're not coming," Ben interjected.

"Like hell I'm not," she retorted. "You're not going to charge off by yourself and bring her back. If that's what you were planning on doing at all."

"She wouldn't trust you," he said.

Her nostrils flared. "Because she trusts you completely, is that right? And if things go sideways – which with your history, they're almost guaranteed to – you're going to lose her. At the very least, you need backup. Unless Commander Connix here has some latent Force sensitivity, I'm your best option."

"She's right," Poe said. "You can't go in there alone."

"Not to mention we don't know what Hux knows," Finn said. "If the First Order shows up while you're trying to reach her, you shouldn't be by yourself."

Silyana nodded. "The traitor makes an excellent point."

"Please don't call me that."

"Sorry. I meant it as a compliment."

Poe sighed. Finn pressed his temples in.

"We'll have more time to discuss Hux's twisted psyche on the trip," Silyana offered with a conspiratorial smile, as if this were a treat to anticipate.

"What do you mean?" Finn said.

"Oh, did I mention you and Poe are coming, too?"

"The excursion to Endor is not your mission to plan," Kaydel said.

"Like hell it isn't."

"It's not," Ben interjected. "I'm not bringing the entire Resistance to Endor."

"Learn to count, Ben. It's four of us. Me, you, Poe, and Finn. I think the commander would appreciate more hands in case I, you know, decide to go rogue."

Kaydel narrowed her eyes. "I'll need confirmation that that won't happen. Otherwise this is a no-go."

"Not to be obnoxiously belligerent, but you do realize that Ben and I could walk off this base at any point and nobody would be able to stop us?"

"Which is precisely why I won't be sending two of my men with you if you're going to endanger them."

Silyana leaned forward, ominously severe. "The danger here is Kira, not me."

Ben winced. Some distant part of Finn's mind started screaming what a terrible idea this was.

She continued, ignoring the unease in the room. "Poe and Finn are the least likely Resistance members to get killed. She knows Ben, she knows Poe, and she let Finn live already once. She's sentimental like that."

"How do you know about that?" Finn demanded.

Silyana grinned. "The Knights talk."

"This is a lot of conjecture," Kaydel said.

"It's what I'm here for, at least partially, right? I know her better than anyone." She glanced at Ben. "Debatably."

"So far you haven't given us anything to validate that claim. Ben's sourced our intel."

"What would make you happy? I can sign something, swear an oath, whatever. It's the same as my word."

Kaydel stepped to the table and met Silyana's gaze. "We want the same things. We're more likely to get those things if we work together. That's why you're here. Or am I wrong?"

"Oddly enough, you're not."

Kaydel nodded once. "Great. This is a Resistance-sanctioned mission, and you'll adhere to the parameters I set out. "

"Within reason, sure."

"I'm going to draft a contractual agreement for you," she turned to Kylo, "and for you. That way there's no misunderstanding."

"You got it."

Kaydel glanced around at the group. "You'll leave tomorrow at o-nine-hundred hours. Pack what you need tonight. Will you be taking the Falcon?"

"I'll talk to Chewie, but it should be fine," Kylo said.

"Alright. Endor is neutral territory. We will keep communication open and I expect regular check-ins. If you make contact with Kira Ren, I'll relay a nearby secure location where you can wait until we determine the best course going forward."

"Sounds great, Commander," Poe said.

"Don't patronize me." Kaydel turned on her heel and marched to the door. When it buzzed open, she was gone.

"See you all tomorrow," Silyana called as the rest filed out.

The door clanged shut behind them and Connix let loose an exaggerated sigh.

"You alright, Finn?" Poe asked.

He clenched his fists to stop the shaking. "Yeah, yeah, I'm fine."

Kylo clapped him on the shoulder and left to find Chewbacca with a mumbled good night.

"Finn," Kaydel said, "you don't have to go. It's a request, not an order. I can find someone else although I would prefer to keep the number of people who know about this situation minimal."

"I'll do it."

"Are you sure?"

He nodded. "Endor might not be First Order territory, but I can still help."

"You're doing good work here, Finn. I don't want to take you from that."

"We've got Archex now. He and Rose can handle it while I'm gone."

Kaydel looked him up and down, as if she didn't quite believe he was up for it. "Alright. If you're sure."

"I'm sure."

"I'll contact you later, then. I've got a lot to do." With a wave, she headed off to the nearest staircase.

"Poe, I swear if you ask me if I'm sure, I'll just go for spite."

The other man laughed. "I'm glad you're going, so I won't ask. I'm more curious why you want to go."

"I don't know. What Silyana said was true. Kira Ren could have killed me once, but instead I escaped the First Order. It's almost like that started the whole thing, and this might be bringing it full circle. I escape the First Order, she escapes the First Order. Is that weird?"

"Nah. I've stopped judging things on if they're weird or not – if you look at anything too closely it gets weird."

"I guess that's fair. I mean, Ben and Kira? I don't know how he expects that to work out."

Poe chuckled nervously. "I don't know either. It's crazy, right?"

"Maybe you're right. Everything's weird if you look too closely."

"Right you are."

"Well, I've gotta find Rose, let her know what's going on."

"Alright, man, just get some sleep. It's gonna be a crazy trip."

A/N: Thanks to my beta angstywriterangst over on tumblr. Next update November 8 CDT