Chapter 11
Back at the hotel room Liv lay down on the bed. Fuck! What is wrong with me? Isn't this exactly what I've always wanted?
A family?
But it's not mine.
It's Kathy's and Elliot's.
Is this my problem? Why can't I just enjoy it? Being with El feels right and really really good. I've never felt like this before. He makes me so happy. And I really love his kids. God, get your shit together before you destroy everything, Benson!
There was a knock on the door.
"Liv, it's me. I know that's not what "take yourself all the time you need" means but I was worried and I don't want you to run. Is it okay if we talk?" Elliot asked carefully.
She opened the door and let him in.
"Who's with the kids?" she asked.
He smiled and she knew exactly why -top priority.
"I've asked Rosie's parents if they could keep an eye on them."
"Okay, good."
He moved closer and pulled her in a hug. She accepted it and they stood there hugging each other for a while. Liv could feel an electrical feeling flowing through her body as soon as his body touched hers. She knew she needed this, no matter how complicated or hard it would be. This is what she was looking for. He is what she was looking for.
"El, I want this. And I know we can make it work. I have trust in us."
He moved away a bit to make eye contact. He looked her deep in the eyes.
"You don't know how happy this makes me. I feel the same way. Together we can handle everything." She smiled at him.
"How long do you think it is okay for us to stay up here?"
He looked at her surprised but amused.
"I think we have about 15 minutes until they get suspicious."
"I am not sleeping with you." she said laughing. He looked at her disappointedly.
"At least not now." she said with a smirk.
"I just thought, a few minutes alone would be nice to make up for our morning."
He jumped in the bed and tapped the space next to him. She laughed and lay down next to him. He pulled her closer so she was cuddled up against his chest like she was this morning before Lola came in.
"Is it terrible to say that I wished Kathy would've taken the kids with her?" he asked.
"It kinda is but I have to admit it sounds great." she said, turning her head to kiss him. He deepened the kiss and pulled her on top of him. It got pretty hot and before they got to the point where both of them wouldn't be able to stop anymore, Liv ended the kiss. She sat on top of him, breathing hard and supporting herself against his chest.
"We really can't do this right now! And believe me, I am at least as disappointed as you are. I kinda wish Kathy was still here to take care of the kids." He laughed out loud.
"Okay, wow. This means a lot. Now I am even more pissed that it won't happen."
She rolled off of him and tried to get up.
"We should get goi.. " Was all she was able to say before Elliot pulled her back. She squealed in surprise.
"I don't want you to go." he said while holding her close. She laughed.
"El, stop. What you want doesn't matter right now. We have to go back to the girls."
"How can you be this horny at one moment and in the next one you act like nothing has happened. You didn't even need a minute to go back to normal."
"Because I am in control of my body. You should try that too someday."
"So mean." he said, shaking his head amusedly.
She couldn't help but smile.
"I promise I will repay you but not right now, okay? If you're lucky, then maybe tonight."
"I know you think saying something like this helps, but if I am honest, it kinda makes it worse. It's like showing you a chocolaty chocolate cake with fresh strawberries and ice cream and telling you that you can't have it, but maybe later. But it's still standing in front of you, so you see what you can't have the whole time."
"I am a chocolaty chocolate cake with fresh strawberries and ice cream for you?" she asked grinning. He looked at her annoyed. "That's not the point, Liv!"
"But it's so … sweet. You really know how to make a woman's heart melt. I really wish I could repay you right now. I really do! And I am sorry that I torture you with my existence." She said with an amused smile.
"Well thank you. Finally you understand how hard my life is."
"Ya, let's get up. This is kinda ridiculous."
He started to tickle her.
"Stop! Oh my god. Elliot, stop!" He finally stopped and she was breathing hard.
"I hate you. For real. I will be extra sexy today and you can't do anything against it!"
He started to laugh.
"Well, I think this is a punishment I can handle."
"If you say so." she said getting up from the bed. She bent down really low to pick up her bag, she could hear Elliot breathing out audibly behind her. She turned around and looked at him with an "I told you so" look on her face.
"You are malicious! And I love it!"
"Get up! Or I am going alone." she said but her face told him that she was pleased by his words.
"Hey guys. Finally!" Sarah said approaching them. "Being alone with the kids sucked big time."
"Sorry, hon. Wanna go to the beach? Play beach volleyball or something?" Liv asked.
"Sure! But without Lola and her annoying friend."
"We can't just leave her here, Sarah." Liv said laughing. "But she can build another sandcastle with your dad or something like that."
"Good, I didn't want to play beach volleyball anyway!" El said playfully upset.
"Perfect!" was all Liv said. She winked at him before walking away with Sarah. Elliot looked after her with an open mouth.
At the beach she and Sarah joined a group of young people who played beach volleyball. Lola started to build a sandcastle and Elliot sat down to watch them play.
After a while Liv got hot and decided to doff her shirt. The others played in their bikinis too so it wasn't a big deal and she enjoyed El's reaction. She felt his eyes all over her body and she loved it.
After a while Lola wanted to go into the water with Olivia. Sarah continued playing and El went into the water with them.
"You kill me." he whispered in her ear. She started to smile widely and nudged him slightly with her shoulder. Lola took Liv's hand and pulled her with her.
"Where are we going, little one?" she asked amused.
"I don't know. But I want to have you for myself for a while. I didn't really see you yesterday and today I played with Rosie most of the time. I've missed you."
Liv couldn't handle her cuteness. This girl was just amazing. She was so natural and honest. It blew her mind.
"I've missed you too, sweetie."
"Lola? Where are you going? Am I allowed to join or are you running away from me on purpose?" Elliot asked from behind.
"Come on, Lola. Let him join us. I promise you it will be fun." Liv said suggestively.
"Okay. I guess it's fine." Liv turned around to El, holding back a laugh. He looked at her questioningly.
"Your daughter said it's okay for you to join us."
"Well, I am one lucky man." he said while shaking his head in amusement. Liv restrained her laughter.
After a while Sarah came into the water too. She took Liv aside and looked like she was about to burst into laughter.
"What's up?" Liv said, confused.
"This is so uncomfortable and funny at the same time. I can't handle it." Liv just stared at her, not sure what was going on.
"Well, one of the guys we were playing beach volleyball with, you know the tall, kinda good looking one with the tattoo, well he gave me his number.." she blushed slightly and stepped from one foot on the other. "Well, he asked me to... no sorry I can't do this." She started to laugh insecurely. "This is way too embarrassing!"
"Well, I don't know what he did but if it made you feel uncomfortable you really should tell me. But I understand if you can't do it. What's wrong with him? You're a teen and he is, I don't know 26 or something like that. Does he know that I could arrest him for that?"
"Oh my god, Liv. Stop it. You are making it worse for me." Sarah said laughing. "You got it totally wrong. He wanted me to give his number to you and I am pretty sure he would love to be arrested by you." Liv looked at her surprised.
"Oh my god! You are .. just stop it. For real." she shook her head smiling uncomfortably. "I don't even know what to say. This is really awkward."
They looked each other in the eyes and started to laugh.
"He totally said, "Can you give your fucking hot friend my number?" I was so shocked that I just nodded and took the number." Sarah said laughing.
"He didn't say that! Okay, stop it. I can't handle it anymore." Liv said, shaking her head.
"I really don't know what to say. This is wrong on so many levels. Didn't he see the age difference between us? What if I was your mom? That's really strange." she said laughing uncomfortably again.
"Liv, no normal mom looks like this and you are way too hot for your age, of course he is attracted to you. But it is still freaking weird and funny." she said laughing.
"What's going on with the two of you?" Elliot asked.
Liv looked at Sarah and shook her head slightly but Sarah flashed her a cunning smile.
"Oh, nothing important." Liv sighed in relief.
"But do you remember the tall, good looking guy who played beach volleyball with us?" Liv looked at her unbelieving. She mouthed a "Why?" towards her, but Sarah just grinned. El looked at her confused.
"Yeah, I guess. Do you mean the one with the tattoo?" he asked. The one who stared at Liv like she was prey, of course I remember him, he thought to himself.
"That's exactly the one I mean. Guess what! He gave me his number!"
He looked at her alarmed.
"He did what? But he was like 26! I will.." he was interrupted by Sarah.
"Relax! He wanted me to pass the number to my- his words not mine- fucking hot friend!" she started to laugh uncontrollably again. El looked at her then at Liv- she just shrugged her shoulders.
"Sarah, look! There's a huge shell underwater. Can you get it for me?" Lola shouted. Sarah went to her sister, still laughing hysterically.
Elliot looked at Liv with a weird expression. She didn't know if he thought it was funny or if he was mad.
"Well, it seems like I have a competitor. Can't say I am surprised, I mean, I have a fucking hot girlfriend!"
"Can you just shut up!" Liv said, punching him playfully.
"Why? He is so right. I couldn't take my eyes off of you and neither could he. I really don't know how I could control myself over the last few years. You are so beautiful… and fucking hot." he added with a smile. She looked at him affectionately.
"Thank you. I wish I could kiss or at least hug you right now."
He smiled and pulled her into a hug.
"You can." he whispered in her ear while pulling her closer. "They don't even look at us. Sarah is diving for Lola's shell and Lola is way too concentrated on telling her where it is to even notice us."
"Good, because I don't want to let go." she whispered.
But then they heard Sarah shout, "I got it!" and Liv moved away quickly. Elliot understood why she felt the urge to do it but it still sucked. He wanted to be close to her.
"Liv, look! Sarah got the shell for me!"
"I'm coming!" she said. El looked after her and although they had a few complications, actually still have some, he felt happier than ever before. He was happy with Kathy, he really was but it was never the real deal, for neither one of them. They stayed together because she got pregnant, if Sarah wouldn't have been on the way he was sure they wouldn't have stayed together this long. He didn't regret it. He loved his kids and he wouldn't want to miss them. He also did love Kathy. They had such a great time together, but looking back now made him realize that the last few years weren't that good anymore. They should've separated earlier. It would've been better for everyone. But it doesn't matter anymore. Now he was with Liv and it felt fucking great.
"Dad, do you wanna see it too?" Lola asked.
"Uh, sure."