(Season 2x16 = God Johnson)

# It's been over a week since we discovered that Azrael's blade was in fact The Flaming Sword and Lucifer was the only who could ignite it. However, when he tried to make it work, it only lit up for less than a minute. Meaning that there was something wrong with the blade and until we can figure it out, our 'return trip to Heaven' is being put on hold. That's right, I've been thinking and… I think I want to go back to the Silver-City. Don't get me wrong, I've loved the last five hundred years I've been on earth, and I love the life I have here in Los-Angeles and granted, I not a big fan of carrying my Mother and brothers up to Heaven so they can cut through the gates and wage another rebellion against Dad.

# Although, it would still be lovely to see all of mi oldest friends, and a few of my siblings too. My only wish is that all of it happens 'after' I finish my forensics-exam (which was only a couple days away now). I've been studying and memorizing notes for weeks, It be a shame to let all that work go to waste. Speaking of which, my knowledge and assistance were being required for a new case. The murder of an orderly at a mental hospital.

Hairstyle: Low-Ponytail

Necklace: Rose-Gold, hollow lotus flower pendant necklace

Top: Multi-Coloured, Marilyn Monroe Screen Printed, Chelsea collar, elbowed-length sleeves (rolled up), buttoned up, Tie-front (at the bottom) shirt

Bottoms: Black, high-waist, side split, Midi Skirt.

Footwear: Burgundy, ankle-length, chunky, lace up, mid-heel Boots

When Ella and Jophiel (wearing her TRAINEE cap) arrived at the crime scene, Ella was already taking photographs of the body and Jophiel was taking notes. Not a moment sooner, Lucifer and Chloe arrived at the scene too.

Ella: Murder. Confirmed. Blunt-force trauma to the back of the head. The victim got hit with this backgammon board.

Jophiel: There's also no signs of a struggle. So, he defiantly wasn't expecting his killer to attack.

Lucifer: Not very sportsman like.

Ella: Hmm-mm. He was an orderly. Toby Mulligan, 32. Body was found here. (gives the victims files to Chloe)

Jophiel: And based on temperature and lividity, I'd put his time of death between, 5 and 7 this morning.

Chloe: Okay. They interview the staff or the patients yet?

Ella: No, not yet. This is a psychiatric hospital, so the didn't want the patients wigging out the, dead body.

Jophiel: Yeah, they've been busy moving everyone to a different floor since the body was found.

Lucifer: I 'love' the mentally ill.

Jophiel: (Sarcastically) Takes one to know one, huh?

Lucifer: Well, I mean, who isn't amused by someone who thinks they're Elvis or Napoleon or Wesley Snipes?

Chloe: Who found the body?

Dan: God.

Lucifer: Ah! See!

Dan: 'God Johnson,' he's a patient. (points to a man standing in a small office) He's right in there. The guy actually thinks he's God. He changed his name and everything.

Chloe: Oh, you two should have a lot to talk about.

Lucifer: Yes. I would like to have a chat with the Almighty.

Dan: Cool your jets man, all right. There's a whole bunch of bureaucratic hoops to jump through to set up an interview. The hospital administrator has all the info.

Chloe and Dan then went to go and talk with the administrator, Ella and Jophiel stayed to examine the body. As for Lucifer, when no one was looking he snuck into the office and tried to have a little 'chat' with God. Tried to expose him as some sort of fraud. Before Lucifer left the room, God Johnson called him Samael, before he even introduced himself as Lucifer!

Feeling confused over the possibility of their Father being on earth, Lucifer had Amenadiel and Jophiel come back to the penthouse, so the three of them could discuss Lucifer's theory.

Jophiel (cap off): (sitting next to Amenadiel on the couch) So, let me get this straight. You think that a 'mental patient,' at a psychiatric hospital, is actually our father?

Lucifer: Well, it's a possibility. Has Dad ever visited earth before?

Amenadial: Not that I'm aware of. And besides, why would he do so now?

Lucifer: Mm. I don't know, maybe because we're plotting to overthrow him.

Amenadiel: Even so, Luci, that's not the way Dad operates. If he has a problem, he sends an emissary, like me, or maybe a burning bush.

Lucifer: So how does this God Johnson know Samael, hmm? My name.

Amenadiel: Oh, wait, I know.

Lucifer: You do?

Amenadiel: The Internet! It's truly amazing what you can find online. Have you seen that video with the cat that jumps inside the box?...

Lucifer: Very funny, but I didn't even introduce myself as Lucifer.

Jophiel: (standing up) Really? That is a little odd.

Lucifer: Yes, and there's something, strange about… I can't explain it.

Amenadiel: Because it's just crazy talk coming from a mentally ill human.

Lucifer: Well, there might be another reason.

Jophiel: Like what?

Lucifer: Well, earth is his favourite toy. Maybe he got fed up of looking at it from afar.

Jophiel: And instead, decided to watch it from a mental institution?

Lucifer: Beside that, earth's not an entirely awful place. (Turns to Amenadiel) Even you have to admit that.

Amenadiel: Now your the one sounding crazy Luci, because Earth, Earth is nothing compared to Heaven.

Jophiel: Hey! I've been here for five hundred years and I can assure you brother, that Earth has so much to offer. For both humans and celestials alike.

Amenadiel: I doubt it.

Lucifer: Oh, come now, brother. I think you've grown to like the place, haven't you?

Amenadiel: *scoffs*

Lucifer: Come on, be honest. When we return to Heaven, there must be something that your gonna miss, eh?

Jophiel: Yeah, like the sights, the online cat videos, or the booze perhaps?

Lucifer: Or 'someone' maybe? Someone one in tight leather pants with a parchment for knives? I'm referring to Maze of course.

# Lucifer and I were called back to the lab, when we got there, Ella was examining samples (while wearing magnifying goggles) and believing in the possibility of God walking amongst humanity.

Ella: Is it really so crazy? I mean, what if God was one of us?

Chloe: Just a slob like one of us.

Ella: Exactly. Or just a…

Jophiel: Stranger on a bus?

Lucifer: Oh, come now Joei, you know as well as I do our father would never use public transport. That song is completely unrealistic.

Ella: What song?

Jophiel: 'One of us,' Joan Osborne, 1995.

Lucifer: Yes, it's also the song I hate almost as much as these hypocrites, like God Johnson.

Chloe: Hypocrite? Hmm, I don't know. I see some similarities between the two of you.

Lucifer: That man is not my father.

Ella: Well good thing, cause he might be our killer. Whhhaatt? Oh my god. Ella, how do you know that? I'll tell you how I know that, because our victim was bald. It's very hard to get prints off a body. So, I whipped out, the ultraviolet, alternate light source, and… Boom, complete set on the victim's noggin. (shows a fingerprint file) They match one Earl Johnson (passing the file over to Chloe), wealthy oil magnate from Odessa, Texas.

Jophiel: Why is he all the way out here?

Chloe: Huh, it says here that his wife committed him a few months ago, after he gave all his money away and started calling himself 'God.' Mr Johnson never said that he touched the victim's body.

Lucifer: Left out the killing part as well. And proving he's the killer is the perfect way to expose his false idolatry. Right, shall we?

Chloe: No, we 'Shan't.' because you spoke to him without permission, I had to apply for a special hearing, just to interview him. That'll take at least a few days, so thank for that. (walks out of the room)

After Chloe left, Lucifer had an idea. A very 'mental' idea. Meanwhile, Ella and Jophiel were taking a break and after having their lunch, Ella started quizzing her for her exam.

Ella: (holding up Jophiel's flashcards) Ready?

Jophiel: Ready.

Ella: Okay, Which scientist opened the world's first police crime laboratory in Lyon, France, and had theory named after him after discovering the transfer of one material to another?

Jophiel: Dr Edmond Locard. Who invented the Locards Principle.

Ella: Correct! Next question; What does AFIS stand for?

Jophiel: Automated Fingerprint Identification System. Which has many prints on file. However it can only print to people who've committed a crime. People who have not committed a crime, will not be in the system.

Ella: Correctamundo! In an arson case, what tool is used to ID an accelerant?

Jophiel: A Sniffer. Which is a tool used to take samples of certain fumes and… Tests them to be identified!

Ella: YEAH! You are so gonna smash this exam Jo!

Jophiel: Thanks El.

Ella & Jophiel: *give each other a-High 5*

Ella: Man, it's gonna be awesome when we start working together. I mean, I know we've already been working together, but we'll be working together from outside the precinct. Isn't that great? We could be partners, like Decker and your brother. Minus all the tension.

# That's when I realized, that even if I pass the exam or my family finally gets the Flaming Sword to work, I'd still have to leave. And the more I think about it, the more I realize… I really enjoy working for Ella. When I'm helping her with the case files or organizing the evidence, I don't feel like I'm working for a superior or a boss, I feel like I'm working with a friend. I really good friend. How am I going to tell her that I'm leaving?

Jophiel: (Looking concerned)

Ella: Maybe a 'little' tension. You okay?

Jophiel: Yeah. It's, it's just that… there's a chance I might… (her phone rings) one sec. That's odd, I don't recognize this number. (Answers) Hello. Yes… yes, he's my brother… ah-ha… oh, well, I wish I could say I'm surprised…. Yes… ah-ha… right, thank you, goodbye. (Hangs-up) *puts on a grin* So Lucifer just checked himself into a mental hospital.

# The next morning, Chloe and I went to see Lucifer at the hospital. We met up with him in an art-class.

Hairstyle: High Bun

Earrings: Gold, Crescent-moon, huggie earrings

Necklace: Gold, Crescent-moon, pendant necklace

Top: Cotton-Candy Pink, Queen-Anne Neckline, Elbow-Length Sleeved, front tied, Periwinkle floral patterned Top

Bottoms: Navy-Blue, ¾ length, denim jeans (rolled up)

Footwear: Periwinkle, Ankle strap, cork wedges

Jophiel: You know, it's often hard to tell people were related.

Chloe: Why the hell, would you get yourself committed?

Lucifer: I did it to help the investigation. (Shows a poorly drawn picture of Chloe with large breasts) What do you think? It's good likeness, isn't it?

Chloe: That's it, I'm pulling the plug. I'm getting you out of here, now.

Lucifer: No, no, no, no, you were the one who said it would be difficult to interview God Johnson. So I took some initiative. I went undercover. You must admit, having an inside man could be quite effective.

Chloe: So your doing this, just to help with the case?

Lucifer: Yes.

Jophiel: Without any personal or ulterior motive?

Lucifer: Well, there may also be some personal issues I'd like to explore with Mr Johnson. But yes, the main reason I came was to prove he's the killer.

Chloe: Is that why you punched him? To force a confession?

Lucifer: Not exactly, but he had it coming. You see, Detective, it turns out, he may actually be our father after all.

Chloe: You've decided that the lead suspect in this investigation maybe your father?

Lucifer: I know God Johnson is not the killer.

Jophiel: And you've reached this conclusion because…

Lucifer: Because another patient was attacked last night and I saw God Johnson 'heal' her. And here's me being super-duper helpful; before the orderlies took the victim away, she told me who did attack her.

Chloe: Great, who is it?

Lucifer: Santa Claus.

# I used to study psychology in the 1890s and from what I can remember, people who talk oddly when their mentally ill or drunk, it becomes like a whole other language to them. The tricky part, is finding a way to translate it. So when that woman was attacked, she most likely saw someone who had a resemblance to Santy Claus.

# As for Lucifer's beliefs about God Johnson being our Dad, I finally decided to see it for myself. But just in case, I called Linda and asked her to come down here. Just to make sure Luci didn't do anything crazy…ier.

Jophiel waited at the front desk for Linda to arrive, she turned to the male nurse behind the counter and asked…

Jophiel: Excuse me sir. By any chance, do you have the room number for a Mr God Johnson?

Nurse: You a relative?

Jophiel: Ahhh… probably?

Nurse: Sorry, lady. Unless your actually sure your a relative, I can't give you Mr Johnson's room. So, bye.

Jophiel: (to herself) No need to be rude about it. (see's Linda walking towards her) Linda, hey.

Linda: Hey Jophiel. I got your message, is everything okay? You said Lucifer's here?

Jophiel: Yeah, he fine. I probably know where he is right now, but 'nurse sourpuss' over here, won't give me the room number. (Gets an idea) On second thought…. (Walks back to the nurse) Hello again.

Nurse: Look Ma'am, I told you before, I can't give the room number unless your a relative.

Jophiel: I know, I know. I just wanted to ask you a question. 'What is your greatest inspiration?'

Nurse: (In tranced) I want to be a DJ.

# It didn't take long for me to convince that nurse into giving God Johnson's room. All it took was advising him to save up from the hospital and take lessons form a local DJ I know. Once that was sorted, Linda and I made our down the corridors.

Linda: That was impressive Jophiel. I didn't know you had the same power as Lucifer.

Jophiel: I don't, it's a little more of the opposite. You see, Luci can 'draw out' desires, I can 'give' people inspiration.

Linda: Interesting. You know, there's something I've been meaning to ask you. If that's okay.

Jophiel: Ask away.

Linda: When we were planning to save Chloe, you volunteered to go to Hell, but your family were completely against it and you said you weren't allowed, why?

Jophiel: Well, let's just say there are 'a lot' of things my Dad and Lucifer disagree on, but one of the few things they can agree on is keeping good Angels like me out of bad places like Hell. If I went down there, it would shatter me in an emotionally unpleasant way.

Linda: Wow.

Jophiel: Yeah, and I'm just sugar-coding it for you. Trust me, the less you know the better.

By the time they reached God Johnson's room, they heard Lucifer's voice and he was yelling very angrily.

Linda: (opening the door) Uh, Lucifer.

Lucifer: Oh, great.

Jophiel: Luci what are doin'? I'm so sorry for my brothers behaviour, we'll get him out of your hair.

God: No need to apologize, 'my little beauty.'

# There is only 'two' being's in the universe who call me that. Mam and...

Jophiel: Daddy?

God: My oh my, your shining as bright as your mother.

Out of shock and confusion, Jophiel grabbed Lucifer by the shoulder and dragged him and Linda out of the room, wanting answers. Lucifer told them what he'd being saying all along. God Johnson is really the almighty himself. This information had completely shocked the girls, especially Linda who almost lost consciousness. Thankfully, Lucifer and Jophiel found her a wheelchair and a paper-bag to breathe in.

Linda: Okay, so that was 'God' God back there? As is capital 'G?'

Jophiel: Yeah, and pretty sure there was half a sandwich in that bag.

Linda: I didn't bow, I should of bowed.

Lucifer: You should of spit in his face.

Linda: Yeah, I'm not gonna do that.

Lucifer: Then you are no use to me, Doctor. What on earth are doing here anyway?

Jophiel: I called her here, I was worried.

Linda: But now, I'm worried. Please tell your not still planning on having your Mom and God destroy each other.

Jophiel: What?! You want our parents to destroy each other?

Luicfer: Don't be silly. That plan won't work anymore.

Jophiel: *sighs in relief*

Linda: Oh. Oh good. Maybe I should've curtsied.

Lucifer: Unfortunately, Dad seems to be soft on Mum. Like he still has feelings for her. (stops and let's go of the wheelchair, allowing Linda to lightly drift off) *gasps* Which gives me another way to punish them, far more torturous than death.

Jophiel: Oh dear.

Linda: Aaannd, where back to 'not good.'

Lucifer: (continues to push Linda) No, no, no, no, this is better. And you, my dear Doctor and sister, are going to help me. *Deviously Chuckles*

# I honestly couldn't get single word in after that. Before I could say anything else, Luci told me to go back to LUX and get the place 'ready.' He said, 'turn the bar into the place where Mum and Dad first met.' That was universe! Against my better judgement, I actually went along with this plan. As soon as I came back to LUX, I decorated the place with dangling lights and candles and made the place look like the stars.

As for Lucifer's plan, the patients at the hospital would create a distraction while Lucifer and God would made their escape and Linda would be waiting for them. Once they were out, the three of them came back to an already decorated LUX. A short while later, Lucifer had called Charlotte and asked her to come by…

Charlotte: Lucifer? What is it you wanted to show me?

When the music started to play, Charlotte looked over bar to see a well-dressed gentlemen, sitting at the piano. As for Lucifer, he, Jophiel and Linda, they were peeking over from behind the bar. So they could watch as God and Goddess reunite after eons.

Linda: Explain to me what's going on, please.

Lucifer: I'm trying to recreate their first date.

Linda: your… what?

Jophiel: Wait. Your trying to 'parent trap' Mam and Dad?

Linda: God and the Divine Goddess?

Lucifer: What? It worked in the movie. Don't you see, with Dad here on Earth, I don't need the Flaming Sword or a trip to Heaven to exact my revenge.

Linda: Okay, but how is having them fall in love again revenge?

Lucifer: Oh, trust me Doctor, after a brief re-honeymoon period, they'll start torturing each other like they always do. Mum and Dad together are their own worst punishment. It's genius *chuckles*.

Jophiel: You have serious issues brother.

# Despite my temptation into stopping this madness, I wanted to see what would happen. So I watched as Mam recognized Dad when said how unpredictable Lucifer can be and then calling me 'Little Beauty' again. Mam then stepped closer to Dad and she KNEEED him in the crouch and called him a bastard for putting her in Hell.

Lucifer, Jophiel and Linda then came out from behind the bar and Lucifer and Jophiel were the ones who tried to talk to Charlotte.

Charlotte: What is he doing here, Lucifer?

Lucifer: I don't know. You married him.

Charlotte: Well it kind of ruins our plan to storm the Gates of Heaven and destroy him.

Lucifer: Well, I'm thinking we might need to do that anymore.

Jophiel: Yeah, maybe this is a sign. That maybe, you've been mad at Dad long enough.

Charlotte: I will never forgive him, if that's what your getting at.

Lucifer: The point is, Mum, that I think Dad… sincerely misses you.

Charlotte: *scoffs*

God: Well, of course I do. How could I not? Look at you. Absolute vision. Glowing, even now.

Charlotte: Oh, you have no idea.

Lucifer: Were just gonna…*whispers* Doctor!

# The three of us continued to watch from one of the tables as Mam and Dad started talking about the… 'Hell,' they put each other through. Dad may have put Mam down there, but she was the one who tried to destroy humanity with the floods, earthquakes and plagues. But thanks to the time she's spent on Earth, she started to warm up to it. She told Dad how she's grown to like Vodka, rollercoasters and triple cream brie. We then saw the two of them share a slow dance on the floor. It was… rather lovely.

Linda: You sure it's revenge, your after?

Lucifer: of course it is. What else would it be?

# That maybe deep down, he doesn't want our parents to destroy each other. That maybe, we don't need all this 'family drama' and maybe we can actually be one again. Which might've have been possible because Mam and Dad kissed! And the moment would've have lasted longer if Chloe and a couple of uniformed officers hadn't shown up.

Chloe: Lucifer!

Lucifer: Detective!

Chloe: Seriously?! Okay, outside now.

Lucifer and God Johnson were then taken back to the hospital. Upon their return back, Lucifer was somehow drugged and then captured (along with God) by 'Santy Claus.' Who was revealed to be one of the hospital nurses who stole and wore a Santa mask when she attacked one the patients (who was really her mother). As for the orderly who was killed, he found out what the nurse was doing and threatened to turn her in. so she killed him to keep him quiet. With her cover blown by Lucifer and God, she planned to kill then both.

Thankfully, Chloe made the connection after finding the nurses fingerprint on the box that contained the Santa mask and came to Lucifer and God's aid. During the arrest, it was revealed that God Johnson wasn't actually God. He just thought he was because of the strange 'belt-buckle' he wore.

# As soon as Lucifer came back to the Penthouse, he showed Amenadiel and me the Belt-Buckle. And I couldn't believe my eye's when I saw it. Because I knew exactly what it was…

Jophiel: That's the 'Medallion of Life.' It was created after Dad made the humans.

Amenadiel: You Sure?

Jophiel: I recognise the design, so It's defiantly it. But It disappeared years ago. How'd did it end up here?

Lucifer: When did it disappear?

Jophiel: (realizing) Around the sometime Dad said he destroyed the Flaming Sword.

Lucifer: (Place's the buckle into the blade) Well, what do you know.

Amenadiel: It fit's perfectly.

Lucifer: Yes, I think it's what Uriel was trying to tell me. Just before he died, he whispered in my ear 'The Piece is Here.' I mean, I thought it was nonsense, but… this must be why the sword wasn't working. It wasn't complete.

Amenadiel: Dad supposedly destroyed the Flaming Sword after the rebellion.

Jophiel: So instead, he broke it into two-pieces? Azrael's Blade…

Lucifer: And this Medallion. Yes, which somehow ended up on Earth. It's power probably awakened when Azrael's Blade ended up here, too.

Amenadiel: Which is when Mr Johnson must've stumbled upon it. But why did he think he was Father?

Lucifer: Well, I mean, Azrael's Blade inspired death. Maybe this piece activated the opposite… Life. Healing. Gave him the power and knowledge of the divine.

Amenadiel: And when he found out he could heal like that, he… he thought he 'was' God.

Lucifer: What's more important is that now the sword's complete, we can get on with our plan. (When he starts stepping forward, the buckle slips off)

Jophiel: Or not.

Lucifer: Maybe there's another piece missing.

Amenadiel: (sarcastically) Or maybe a dragon has to breathe on it. Who knows?!

Lucifer: Well maybe Mum does. Where is she anyway?

Jophiel: I don't know, but… Oh My Goodness! MY EXAMS ARE TOMMOROW! I gotta run and study, see ya. (Rushes downstairs to her Loft)

Hope you've enjoyed this chapter. Do you think Jophiel will pass the exam? Will she tell Ella about her possible departure? Find out in the next chapter. Thanks for reading, see you soon.