When Lin woke up in the morning Tenzin was hugging her from behind. She lifted her head up slightly to judge the time, not in the mood to move yet. It was still early, the sun barely sending any light into the room, not quite breakfast time. Year of living in a rural farming village and a small fishing village before that had conditioned her to wake up at the crack of dawn, despite how tired she still felt. She pressed back into Tenzin, feeling him tighten his grip automatically and closed her eyes for what seemed like minutes but the next time she woke it was because Tenzin was shaking her awake. The sun was fully up as she blinked the sleep out of her eyes, looking up at him.
"It's time for breakfast." He says looking down at her, Lin offers him a nod. He's already dressed and ready to go but waits for her to dress.
She walks back out of the bathroom finishing pinning her hair in place as she walks towards the door with Tenzin. He turns to her before opening the door. "Can we uh talk after?" Tenzin asks blocking her from walking out of the door.
"Yes" Lin tells him. He smiles at her before opening the door for her. She knows they need to talk about a million things and it is about time they did. When they arrive in the dining hall only Asha, Opal, Jinora and Su's husband who introduces himself to her as Bataar is there. Su comes in followed by what Lin correctly assumes is her sons. Su makes introductions as Tenzin questions Jinora and Opal about where Korra and Kai are.
"I woke them up." Jinora told her father. "If they fell back to sleep that's their fault."
Su did most of the talking during breakfast telling her about her family and everything that she's been up to in the last 30 years. Lin for her part doesn't talk much but doesn't stop her sister's talking. She figured the more Su talked the less she would have to.
"Kya and Bumi will faint when they see you." Su was saying now. "And Katara, Tenzin tell her first, we wouldn't want her to keel over and die." Snickers from the kids at Su's joke.
"Yes," Tenzin said. "I'll tell Kya to bring mom and come to Air Temple Island to see you. I'll radio her today."
"Good. Come on Lin. I'll give you the grand tour, while you finally stop avoiding my questions." Su said. Lin shot Tenzin a help me look, but he mouthed 'go' and 'later' at her. Lin let Su blabber as they walked around Zaufo, trying not to get annoyed. While she didn't hate Su, she still wasn't thrilled about seeing her. She was still pissed at her for all she had done to her. The swamp had brought that anger over her scars back to the forefront of her mind but also the many, many other incidents they had had over the years. The only reason she was tolerating her now was because she also had the memories of not having a family for the last 20 years and more importantly Asha always wanting one. So she'd try but Su was going to have to meet her more than half way on a few things.
"I'm sorry, Lin" Su finally said when they stopped to overlook the other domes. "About everything." Lin didn't respond yet but stiffened knowing what was coming. "I'm sorry we fought a lot, I'm sorry I hurt you. When you died," She took a shaky breath. "Lin I thought I'd never get the chance to tell you how sorry I am, about everything."
"I'm too tired to fight with you anymore." Lin sighed. She was at this point she just wanted to start anew with everyone, Su, Kya, Bumi and even Tenzin.
Su looked relieved. "I understand it, now what you tried to do for me all when we were kids. I know you weren't on me for no reason." She told her honestly.
"Yeah well I didn't know what I was doing either, still don't half the time." Lin shrugged. It was about time Su realized she was trying to teach her and protect her.
"Yeah well, neither do I. I don't think any parent really does." Su laughed.
Lin smirked alongside her little sister. "Su, don't push me. I just remembered why I didn't talk to you for a decade but let's just move on." She told her after a minute. After all she only had so much patience and that was not going to go to dealing with her baby sister bull shit.
"Fair enough." Su smiled. "How's Tenzin?"
Lin glared at her. "Didn't I just tell you not to push it"
Su didn't back down though. "Hey, he's been my best friend for the last 20 year. Hell he saved me from Kuvira. I say that I am looking out for him too."
"We haven't talked about it yet." Lin ground out finally. They needed to, it was half a miracle it was Su bothering her about and not Asha. Yelling at Su was easy but she didn't have the heart to yell at her daughter most of the time, especially about this.
"He loves you." Su told her gently. "He tells me every time we get drunk together. That he still loves you."
Lin closed her eyes. "I know." She said quietly. "He did tell me that."
She could feel her sister's eyes studying her. "He's also married." Su offers.
"I know that too. I picked up on Jinora calling him dad." Lin said she looked over at her sister who was still watching her closely. "What do you want me to say? It's been 20 years, I'm not surprised he moved on. I would want him to move on." Lin told her.
"He hasn't though. Whatever he may say to you, to his second wife, know this: he hasn't moved on." Su told her. "Anyone who knew you two back then will tell you that." Su warned her.
Lin had suspected that. The way he had said it last night, 'I still love you' had told her that and him holding her had only furthered that conclusion. She didn't really know what to do about it though. For one it had been a long, long time since they had been together. She had changed, she knew that from her recently regained memories. She imagined he had changed as well. He was remarried and had at least one kid who was only 16 which was a rough age for her family to be turned upside down. Although from what she saw Jinora seemed to be pretty grown up. She didn't want to be a homewrecker, she could be fine on her own. Tenzin being a part of Asha's life was important to her but outside of that she didn't want to hold him to any other expectations. She knew things were different, it is what it is, they can't change that.
"Hey dad." Jinora said when she saw him coming back from radioing the south polar to tell his sister and mother to come to air temple island.
"Care to walk with me?" Tenzin asked her as he approached.
"Sure" She nodded. Tenzin had no idea how to ask her about Lin or how to talk to her about his first wife in general. He had only talked to her once about Lin and that was a basic 'she died before you were born' conversation that he had ended quickly because he didn't know how to do this.
In the end she was the one that brought it up. "How are you taking Lin being back?" She asked. Her voice was calm and a little quiet. She was always so observant, most of the time Tenzin was proud of that. However right now, he wished she was a little less so, selfishly.
Tenzin sighed before answering. "I'm happy she's alive obviously. But it's complicated honey." he told her honestly.
"So Asha's my sister?" she asked next leaving the topic of Lin for now, which Tenzin was grateful for. He and Lin hadn't talked yet as Su had stolen her for the morning. Later he had told her, later was becoming a little too easy to keep telling himself if he was being honest. There was only one thing that could make the former chief of police run, and that was talking about family and emotions. They both were currently giving in to that tendency right now.
"Yes, she is." Tenzin said, smiling a little at that.
"She's super strong with bending Dad." Jinora told him. "She'll probably reach master before Ikki."
"Well, Beifongs and bending go hand in hand and Lin knows a far deal of airbending. If she remembered it all." Tenzin told her.
"Did you teach her?" Jinora asked.
"No, my dad used to teach us both when Toph dropped her off at the island. Then later on, when she didn't want to train with her mom. She'd come train with me and my dad. Sometimes your grandfather worked with her on earth bending and sometimes she did the airforms with us." Tenzin explained to his daughter. They stopped looking out over the city of Zaofu. Jinora seemed to be mull over the information he had just given her.
"What's going to happen, Dad? Like when we go back home, to Republic City." Jinora asked him not looking at him, part of him was grateful for that, part of him wanted her to meet his eye.
"I don't know honey." Tenzin sighed. "I really don't, I haven't even talked about it with Lin yet and it's not just us we both have to consider. It's you and your siblings and Asha and your mom." Tenzin told her.
"Do you love her?" Jinora asked, now watching him carefully.
Tenzin froze, what was he supposed to say to that. "It's been 20 years, Jinora." He said letting out a breath. It was the truth, just not the whole truth or the direct answer to her question. He was an airbender he liked to avoid conflict. Jinora looked at him wanting more of an answer.
"I was very much in love with her 20 years ago, when she 'died', but since then we both have completely different lives. Take out you, kids and your mom and that's still a lot of time for people to change. Yes, I love the woman I knew 20 years ago but I don't know if 'Kyra' and Lin are the same person." Tenzin told her honestly. He feared that to be true because it had been a long, long time. Yes he would always love his Lin but was the woman who couldn't remember her name for the last 20 years anywhere near the same woman?
"You know Gran Gran, talked to me about her when I was little." Jinora said, she had gone back to staring out at the city. "I was up in the attic getting decorations for New Year celebration and I found some old pictures of you as a kid with Su, Lin and the fire lord." She told him. "And Gran Gran told me that she was your first wife and to not bring it up because it would hurt your feelings."
Tenzin winced at her words internally. "Lin was the most important person in my life for a very long time. Like I told you before, her death hurt."
"I just want you to be happy." Jinora shrugged looking at him dead in the eye. "I don't really care about what that looks like."
"Thank you honey." Tenzin said but in his head he knew it wasn't that simple. For one Pema was certainly not going to be thrilled about this, for obvious reasons and Ikki and Meelo didn't even know about Lin yet. It was high time he told Ikki about his first wife but in his defence it had been a very hectic couple of years. Meelo was still a little young especially with his maturity level. All of them would be hurt in some kind of way no matter what, he figured and that pained him. He sighed there was no easy way out of this.
Lin finally escaped Su after lunch. She had been able to catch Tenzin's eye and give him a look to follow her during lunch. So she headed back to their room knowing he'd meet her there when everyone else had finished their meal. She took the long way to her room to waste time and running into Bataar, literally along the way.
"I'm sorry!" Bataar said startled as Lin grabbed his shoulder to steady them both as he almost sent them both tumbling to the ground.
"It's alright." Lin said in her usual gruff voice.
"You aren't going to eat lunch?" Bataar asked her, straightening his glasses.
"No, just came from there." She told him, shaking her head.
"Oh it's later than I thought." Bataar griped checking his watch. "I'll see you later, Chef doesn't like it when I'm late."
"Bataar," Lin called out to him before he rushed off again. "If I wanted to go somewhere where I wouldn't be bothered…"
"Oh, uh, yes. There is a small pavilion on the northern edge of the dome. No one really goes there unless it's for patrol." Bataar told her.
Lin nodded. "Thanks." She went back to her room and lay down on the bed. She probably should meditate before the nerves got to her but napping sounds like a better idea. Less worrying and thinking involved and Tenzin would wake her when he came in she knew. She was right. Tenzin did wake her when he entered sometime later. She heard the door open, rather than him still as light on his feet as ever. She sat up and motioned for him to wait by the door.
"Come on let's talk somewhere else." She told him as they left the room. They walked around the pod. Lin led them around the perimeter purposely as to avoid running into anyone. When they stopped at the small pavilion. It wasn't much it looked out of a wall of granite cliffs behind them. She could see why no one came out here, the shadows dropped the temperature here by a few degrees and there was nothing to see especially compared to all the other views of the valley or city.
"I don't know where to start." Lin admitted leaning against the rail of the pavilion.
She sees Tenzin sigh pacing slightly infront of her. The two of them were opposite in so many ways, this was one of them. Lin got still when she was nervous, she went into a de facto nonchalant bravado, whereas Tenzin needed to move as if it would somehow getting rid of the nervous energy.
"Neither do I. So much has happened and it's been so long." Tenzin said Lin could just hear the slight nervous tick in his deep voice.
"How are you then? Why don't we start there." Lin said, spreading her hands slightly.
Tenzin let out a short laugh at that. "I'm better than I've been in years, Lin. now that your back." He says and Lin can hear the truth in his words.
"Well, what have you been up to? I guarantee your life has been more interesting than mine." She says turning the conversation back on him, not ready to talk about herself. Besides he had more to tell than her.
"Well," He paused, stroking his beard. "I trained the avatar, fought in a few wars and had a family."
"Good." She tells him, throwing him off guard. "I would have wanted you to move on, Ten. If I had died." It was the truth too, she would have wanted him to be happy rather than sitting in his pain and misery and she still would. Him being happy that was what she cared about especially now.
Tenzin stares at her. "I, um." he clears his throat. "Yes, well. I got married and had four kids."
"Congrats." Lin offered, still smiling at him, arms crossed over her chest and leaning against the rail as if they were talking about the weather.
Tenzin had stopped pacing to stare at her like she had two heads, which only made her smirk more. "I thought, I don't know, you'd react differently." he says lamely.
Lin looks down letting out a breath. "I don't know Ten. What do you want me to say? It's been 20 years, you had a life and I had a life. I can't fault you for that."
"I don't know" He rubbed his face. "I have no idea what to do or say right now." he sighed, sounding about as tired as she felt thinking about this.
"Look it's really up to you." Lin tells him finally. "I imagine Asha will want to get to know you and on top of that she needs to actually learning proper airbending. That's all I'm going to hold you to." She tells him firmly. "Look, the rest is on you. You have a family, I get it. That for you to decide what happens." Asha's needs were nonnegotiable but the rest she could live with either way.
She could see the pain in his eye. "I-" He grasps for words. "I meant what I said last night, Lin. I love you." He paused. She got the feeling he didn't really know what else was between them beyond that fact. It was something she also felt. They loved each other but that wasn't enough now even Asha wasn't enough now.
"Tenzin, I'm not going to stand here and ask you to throw your marriage away. Just because I walked back into your life after forgetting you for 20 years." Lin says she can feel some of that nervous energy now turning into annoyance at him. Though it's not his fault, this is so very messy.
"Lin, I don't want to let you go." Tenzin says almost pleading with her.
Lin can feel her heart twist at his words but ignores it. She would not make this decision out of emotions. Asha and Tenzin deserved better than that. "Tenzin" She holds her hands up as if in surrender. "I can't make that choice for you. I can't make you stay with your wife but do not feel obligated to leave her just because you found out I'm alive."
"But would you? Would you be with me again, if I choose you." Tenzin asks seriously, stepping towards her.
It forces her to look up at him. "I-, yes." she says. "Yes, I love you that didn't change."
Tenzin takes another step towards Lin, invading her personal space. "Then I choose you."
"Tenzin" Lin exhales heavily, putting a hand on his chest to stop him. "I- you're emotional, you can't make that kind of decision right now." She tells him.
"No I love you Lin. And I don't love Pema, my second wife the way I love you." He says shaking his head.
She can see it in his eyes too, they don't wayver from her's once and she's the one that has to look away. But again she bites back the emotion. "Please think about this." She tells him. "I don't want you to regret this."
Tenzin narrows his eyes at her. "Since when have I ever regretted anything about you?" He says slightly exasperated with her. "I- you have no idea how many nights I wished you were next to me not her and how guilty I felt for feeling that. It took me a long time to even think about moving on, and I never really did. I'd make this choice everyday since you 'died' and everyday for the rest of my life."
Lin was taken aback by his words. She knew that he'd always loved her harder in many ways before. He was more emotionally connected than she had ever been, but it still took her breath away hearing him say that. "Ten" she sighed out. "Please don't put this on me."
"I won't, I'll tell her. I'll leave her." Tenzin says reaching out to caress her cheek and tracing the scars.
"Fine, but we aren't doing anything until you actually go through with it." She tells him poking him in the chest. "I don't date married men."
Tenzin laughs. "But I am married to you."
"'Till death do us part'. I think that already happened." Lin shots back dryly.
"Fine. we'll play by your rules." Tenzin laughs kissing her forehead and Lin smirks back at him but shakes her head at what they were getting themselves into.