A/N: Important Author's Note at the end – please read :)
August 25th, 2017 (14 weeks pregnant)
"I can't believe I'm finally doing this. I've always wanted to do this!"
Jay chuckled at the childlike excitement evident on Erin's face. Erin was bouncing on the balls of her feet as they stood in line, waiting to reach the front counter.
"I know. You've only told me, like, a thousand times since we saw that advertisement last year." Jay teased.
"Still, I can't believe you remembered. Did you tell Ruzek about this?"
Jay frowns "Why would I tell him anything? He's the biggest gossip in Intelligence."
"Well, Kim's gonna be really mad when she finds out she lost their bet." Erin laughs.
"Oh my god, of course they were betting on us. They're detectives, how do they not have anything better to do with their lives?"
Jay's ramble of questions went unanswered as they reached the front of the queue and smiled at the young gentleman serving them.
"Good evening, welcome to Avenue Axe."
"Hey man, we've got a booking under Halstead?"
The young man nodded and pointed them in the direction of their lane, subtly eyeing Erin as he did so. Jay's eyes hardened and he wrapped his arm around Erin's waist as he asked;
"Is this safe for pregnant women? We've been dying to do this, but I don't want to put my girl – or our baby – at risk.
The man coughed awkwardly and nodded focusing back on Jay "Yes, it's perfectly safe, sir."
"Awesome, thanks." Jay said leading Erin to their lane.
"What?" Jay asks seeing her amused expression.
"Jealousy is not your colour babe." Erin struggles to hold in her laugh.
"Says the woman who threatened to kill a lawyer."
"That was a completely different situation." Erin rolls her eyes distracted as they reach their lane.
Jay smiled as Erin bounced on the balls of her feet while the instructor explained the safety procedures and how to correctly throw the axe. Jay loved how excited she was for this; he hoped their child had that same quality. Everything Erin did, was done with a childlike passion she held in her heart. It was the most heart-warming thing to see; undoubtedly one of Jay's favourite things about Erin Lindsay.
"Better get your head in the game if you want to lose only slightly." Erin smirks at him before throwing the axe towards the board, hitting close to the centre.
"It's cute that you think you're winning." Jay's cocky smile only grows further when he takes his turn, his axe landing similarly to hers had "You're going down, Lindsay."
"Oh, it's on now.
…
"And I do believe that is victory!" Erin cheers as Jay does his final throw, hitting the outer circle of the board "I'm the greatest axe-thrower ever. I'm thinking of competing professionally."
Erin's boisterous smile makes the pout on his face falter as she bounces into his arms, wrapping her arms over his shoulders.
"Your mother is not a gracious winner, kid." Jay says looking down at her belly.
"Oh don't worry, he or she is going to have my innate talent too. Only the best genes for this baby." Erin jokes.
Jay rolls his eyes "You're too kind."
"I gotta say, I was pretty nervous about tonight. But this has been the best date, thank you Jay." Erin leans in to kiss his cheek.
"Oh, did you think this was it?"
Erin frowns "It's not?"
"Nah. I've got a couple more tricks up my sleeve, babe."
"Dammit. You know I hate surprises."
Jay chuckles at her dramatic groan. He quickly speaks to one of the attendants roaming up and down the aisles, who nods and rushes off. They come back momentarily with a basket and what, to Erin, looks like a picnic blanket. Jay smiles and takes her hand in his free one,
"Too bad, let's go."
"You know it's not fair to surprise a pregnant woman. What if the stress makes me go into labour early?"
"Oh my god, you're going to milk this pregnancy for all it's worth, aren't you?"
"You bet your ass I am. Now, tell me where we're going."
"You'll find out soon enough." Jay smirks and Erin rolls her eyes, begrudgingly following him out the door and onto their next location.
Erin watched Jay lay down the picnic blanket, pulling the food out of the basket and a few electric candles that he placed around the edge of the blanket. The short-sleeve button up Jay was wearing rode up as he leaned down to fix the blanket and Erin took a minute to appreciate the view. His muscles tensed slightly as he set everything up and Erin grew flustered. 'Damn pregnancy hormones' she cursed.
In addition to his navy blue shirt, Jay was wearing light-grey tailored cargo pants and black boots. It was a step removed from that usual clothing he would normally wear to work, and Erin was appreciating every moment of it. Damn, did he look good.
Jay always looked good. Erin loved the nights they would go out to Molly's with the unit, because he always liked to dress a little nicer than his favourite Henley and jeans that he always wore to work. And Erin would never complain at the way his muscles would be on full display.
"You okay over there?" Erin felt her cheeks heat as she noticed Jay looking at her, the grin on his face letting her know that he knew exactly what she was thinking about.
So, rather than show her embarrassment, Erin smirked back at her partner and said, "Oh I'm doing just fine."
She saw Jay visibly swallow at her lowered tone of voice, his Adam's apple pressing tight against his throat – Erin knew she had gotten him right back.
Erin and Jay lay together under the beautiful oak tree in Central Park. Erin sat between Jay's legs, her back leaning against his chest as they relaxed.
"You know, I can't help but notice a pattern emerging in this date." Erin says
"Well, you are a detective. I'd be very concerned if you didn't." Jay teased.
"Shut up. I was trying to pay you a compliment; I've loved everything about tonight."
"We've only done two things, Er."
"It doesn't matter. This has been the best date I've ever been on."
"Yeah? Well, I'm glad." Jay smiles "I just thought, we've agreed that this is a fresh start for us, but that doesn't mean we can't honour our past at the same time. It felt kind of fitting to do some of the long-list of things we kept saying we should do together but never actually got around to. Plus, it makes for a very fun date."
"That it does." Erin chuckles softly "Better late than never, right?"
"Right." Jay says lifting their intertwined hands and kissing hers.
"I can't believe you remember this, though."
"Pretty hard to forget, we both had a head cold for like two weeks after."
"It was worth it though. I love the park in January."
Jay smiles at her words, the same words Erin had said to him nearly two years ago.
"Erin, it's freezing! We're gonna get sick, this is ridiculous."
"This is beautiful!" Erin exclaims spinning around and taking in the view.
Jay rolls his eyes "You're crazy."
"You love me anyways." Erin smiles, wrapping her arms around Jay under his coat.
"You're right about that. Always." Jay brings his coat around her sides so she could cuddle into him.
"You know; I've always wanted to have a date in the park. Like they do in those cheesy romantic movies, in Central Park or something. It always seemed like such a nice idea." Erin lifts her head from his chest "Maybe I'll bring you back here when it's warmer."
"Ooh, being wined and dined by Erin Lindsay? Don't mind if I do." Jay says leaning down to meet her lips "In all seriousness though, I would like that. More than you know."
"It really is beautiful though. I love the park; I don't know what it is about it, but I just feel … like I can breathe easy. Thank you for bringing me here."
"Of course. I couldn't miss out on the opportunity to wine and dine you, now could I?"
Erin smiles at the reminiscent words. It felt like a lifetime ago since they stood in Centennial Park in the middle of Winter, making plans for a future that changed quicker and more differently than either of them ever could have thought.
But they were here now. And if you asked her? Here was pretty damn perfect.
"So, originally I was thinking we could do a whole '20 questions' thing since I wanted this to be like a first date usually is; where two people would get to know each other. But we kind of broke character on that already." Jay says
Erin laughs "It's hard to remember not to fall back into familiar habits with you. But we can still play? Surely, we don't know everything there is to know about each other. I think the last couple months of our relationship proves that."
Erin winces at her words, not wanting to bring up the 'Abby' topic.
"I didn't mean-"
"I know." Jay smiles understandingly "It's okay Erin, you're allowed to mention it. It's a part of my past, of our past; we can't pretend like it never existed."
"You're right."
"I always am." Erin rolls her eyes at his response "So, shall we?"
"Okay, I'll go first … favourite colour?"
"Seriously?" Jay gives her a look, as if to say; 'is this really what you want to waste your questions on?'
Erin shrugs "I like knowing the little things."
Jay smiles and indulges her "Violet."
"Really?" Erin looks surprised.
"Well, truthfully I guess it's more that the colour is attached to a favourite memory I have. My mum took Will and I to the cabin when we were kids, I remember my Dad had to stay for 'work' and so it was just the three of us. Will and his friends had all gone on their bikes somewhere, so it was just my mum and me. There's this kind of meadow-like area behind the cabin along the water; she and I played there for hours. She was wearing this long purple dress with little white daisies printed on it. My Dad hated when she wore it – said it looked cheap and that our family had more status than she represented when she wore things like that." Jay scoffed "But I remember that day; the way her dress breezed through the long grass. I've never seen her look as happy as she did that day; running barefoot through the grass trying to catch me. The way the sun struck her face … she looked like an angel."
Erin smiles seeing the look in Jay's eyes as he thinks about his mother, "You know, Violet's a nice name. Something to think about if we had a girl."
Jay nods and kisses the top of her head "I'd like that – it would be a really unique way to honour my mum."
"Okay, your turn. Ask away."
After a contemplative moment he asks "Are you still scared? About having a baby now?"
"Not so much," Erin sits up and turns to face him more "I mean, yeah, I still worry about all the things that could go wrong – I don't think that will ever change, I've been through too much fucked up shit to just believe that everything will magically work out. But I think my fear is more in the after; what happens when it's just me and this baby in New York, or if we move back to Chicago? What happens when they're hungry or tired and screaming their little lungs out; what if I don't know how to settle them? My fear is more in my own abilities to be a mum, I guess. What about you, are you still scared?"
"Not as much as I first was, but yeah. I still feel wholly unprepared to be a Dad. But it makes me less worried knowing that you and I are doing it together – if it had been someone else, I don't think I could be this … vulnerable. I would be too worried to admit that I'm scared, or nervous, or worried I'm going to screw up. But I know with you, we have each other's backs. I don't have to worry about stressing you out with my own feelings because you and I have always leaned on each other, you know?"
"You can always tell me what you're going through Jay. Always." Erin takes his hands in hers.
"I know, that's what I love about our partnership."
Erin settles back against his chest "Okay, I think it's back to you again."
"hmmm, okay. Tell me honestly; how badly did you want to get in my pants that first day we met."
Erin rolls her eyes, flinging her hand back against his chest half-heartedly as his whole body shakes against hers in laughter.
"I've always liked the name Andrew, for a boy." Erin says as they walk back to her apartment hand-in-hand.
They had gotten ice cream on the way back and continued their question-and-answer game for the rest of the night; ending on Jay asking Erin if she had any baby names in mind.
"And Madeleine, for a girl. They both represent strength. Grace is a cute name too."
"Honestly, I always thought you'd want to honour Hank in some way." Jay remarks.
"Given recent events, I doubt he'd be happy with that."
"He'll come around Er, you know he will."
"Maybe."
They reach her apartment building and walk quietly up the stairs. When Erin turns the key in her lock and opens the door, she busies herself with removing her shoes by the door and throwing her keys in the little bowl by the entry. She moves further into the apartment but stops short when she realises Jay is no longer behind her. Turning, she sees him leaning in the entry doorway.
"What are you doing?"
"Waiting to say goodnight." Jay says softly.
Erin frowns "Are you not staying?"
"I was going to stay at a hotel, but Olivia offered her spare room when I was getting ready there earlier. Figured since this is supposed to be a first date …"
"I don't care about that, Jay." she walks back to him "I'd like you to stay here, with me."
"Er … babe, I've spent every day since I walked out of our apartment wondering how I would move on. How I move forward, let you go. Because you deserved so much better than what I was."
"I don't want anyone 'better' Jay. I just want you. I don't understand this."
Jay sighs "I told myself if I ever got another chance, I would do things the right way. I want to be the man you deserve."
"Jay, look at us; none of this is happening the right way. I don't need a perfect date with Prince Charming, I just need you, perfect or not. Whether or not you think you're the man I deserve, you're the man I want."
"Warts and all?" Jay teases.
"Everything but the kitchen sink." Erin murmurs against his lips "Now, come to bed please. I missed you. We missed you."
Jay smiles: the thought of his girl and their baby makes his heart warm every time.
"Thank you for tonight, Jay. It was pretty damn perfect."
"It was nothing." Jay shrugs off the compliment.
"It was everything – You knew I wouldn't want a big flashy restaurant date. This was special and intimate, everything I could ever want for our fresh start. So, take the compliment Halstead." Erin places a gentle kiss against his lips "Thank you."
"Anything for you, Erin." Jay whispers against her cheek.
"Good, now let's go to bed."
And so, he lets Erin lead him by the hand as they walk into her bedroom, closing the door softly behind him.
A/N: I hope you all liked the date – I'm so sorry it took so long to post.
Honestly, this chapter feels a little disappointing after such a long wait. I've spent so long trying to rewrite this and make it perfect, but I realised that the longer I kept trying to play around with it, the less likely it would be that it ever got posted and this story would ever get finished.
This story is probably going to start wrapping up soon. I originally only planned for it to be five parts, but then I had so many ideas and was so inspired I wanted to make it a full story – and now, I've kind of run out of ideas lol
So, the next few chapters will cover Erin's pregnancy each month – with the little bits of drama I have planned, hehe – and the birth of their child, and then the Epilogue. Hopefully I can do it justice for all of you who have stuck with me and this story and its enormous wait times between updates. Hopefully, the updates won't be as few and far between now that I've decided on what I'm doing in terms of the storyline.
Please leave a review and let me know what you think! Thank you for your patience,
Until next time …