Chapter 10: Risk and Reward

"I just can't believe the garbage that I have to deal with," Fujimura said. "Two days ago, this dumb bitch loses a medical history form for a patient and tries to blame that on me. I wasn't even on shift that day. She's the one looking after him, and she thinks she can avoid the blame? I managed to convince my supervisor that it wasn't me, but it wasted so much time."

Mafuyu's heart went out to her friend. Working as a nurse had to be stressful enough to begin with, having coworkers like that sounded intolerable.

Harada-san, one of Fujimura's friends, commented. "Wow, I have to deal with some shit at my job, but that's nothing compared to you. If someone messes up like that, we just lose a bit of efficiency, you actually have to save lives."

Fujimura waved the praise aside. "It's not what you think. It's like that sometimes, sure, but mostly it's helping patients recover. Lots of my coworkers are great, but the bad ones are just awful."

Around the table, the other women shared their experiences with difficult colleagues. Amari-san and Saito-san worked in the same office and had many complaints in common. They both agreed on their worst problem, a womanizing middle-aged superior who went unpunished for his behavior due to his friendship with their boss. Harada-san hated another woman at her office who she suspected got bonuses because she was sleeping with a higher-up.

Mafuyu sipped at her tea, which this café had made excellently. She wasn't one for gossip, but they'd given her a lovely afternoon so far. It was no trouble to listen.

"What about you, Kirisu-san?" Harada-san asked. "Any terrible coworkers at your school?"

"No, I've been fortunate enough to have decent colleagues," Mafuyu said. She disagreed with the lack of effort a few teachers put in, but they still fulfilled their requirements and their personalities weren't distasteful.

"Lucky," Harada-san said. "Stay on guard, though. You never know when someone who seems nice turns around and stabs you in the back."

"Oh come on, don't say that," Fujimura said. "I've met some of the other teachers at her school, they are nice."

Harada-san shrugged, although she didn't seem wholly convinced. "If you say so."

A ping sounded. "Sorry, that's me." Amari-san pulled up her phone and read something on the screen. She sighed and her hand went to her forehead. "Genkuro tried cooking again. He sent me a picture of the kitchen, just look at this."

They all leaned forward, and several of them burst into laughter. There were dirty pots, pans, plates, and utensils in the kitchen sink and strewn all over the counter. There were colorful spots on the walls and floor too, no doubt a result of clumsy handling of whatever he'd made.

Saito-san muffled her laughter and asked. "He'sgoing to clean that up, right?"

Amari-san nodded. "After last time, he knows he has to clean up after himself. The problem is that he can't cook."

"He can't?" Mafuyu asked.

"No. I swear there has to be something wrong with his tongue. Something super salty or dry or sweet tastes completely fine to him, and it's not just me, other people agree that they can't handle his food."

"Yep, I've had the pleasure of trying it." Fujimura said. She shuddered. "Never again."

"Plus, I don't know how, but the kitchen stinks for weeks after one of his cooking sprees." Amari shook her head. "I love the goof, but God this really makes me question that."

"Aww, when you make sacrifices like that, you know it's true love." Harada-san patted her on the arm.

Saito-san looked at them with a yearning expression. "You two are so lucky that you found great guys. Ugh, I haven't had a boyfriend in years and it's starting to feel like I won't again. I'm not getting any younger."

"Don't say that." Fujimura touched her shoulder. "You can still attract plenty of guys."

"Thanks, Hikari. At least we're single together."

"Alright, you didn't have to put it like that."

Saito-san grinned. "Sorry. By the way Kirisu-san, you're single too, right?"

"I am."

"Ha. So for once the single women outnumber the ones in relationships. You can't let the majority swing the other way until we all agree to get guys together, okay?" Saito-san joked.

"Don't worry, I'm not interested in any men right now."

"Oh ho, that's admirable confidence," Saito-san said. "I used to feel that way too until a couple years ago. Now I'm about to turn thirty with no hope of a guy in sight."

Mafuyu remained silent. Honestly, Fujimura and Saito-san were too focused on finding men. She didn't plan to stay alone her entire life, but they were still all young women. Why couldn't this companionship between them be enough for now?

"Ease your hearts, we wise women will take pity on you poor single girls and give you our advice." Amari-san said, laying on the sage tone a little thick. "Now, Kirisu-san's workplace seems to have opened up a new possibility for men. Are there any single teachers at your school?"

"Two, actually. One is a widower in his seventies and another divorced his wife and is in his forties. I doubt either are desirable options for you."

Amari-san made a disapproving face. "You're right. I don't think Hikari or Emi are desperate enough for a forty-year-old guy yet."

"Hey!" Fujimura said. "What do you mean 'yet'? I'll get a guy my age before then."

"Right right, sorry, that was a mistake."

"Hmm, let's put the guy hunt on hold for now," Harada-san said. "I've always been curious about something. Kirisu-san, there have to be some students that look like they could grow up into good-looking men. Aren't there?"

"Excuse me?" Mafuyu frowned.

"Come on, Harada, that's kind of messed up," Saito-san said.

"What? I'm not asking her to say they're hot. Some of them have to be as young as fifteen, but the seniors? We're not that much older than them. I'm 24, and it wouldn't even be illegal if I wanted to get into a relationship with the eighteen-year-olds."

"Now you're talking about relationships?" Mafuyu said. "Harada-san, I find this highly inappropriate."

"Maybe it is, and yeah it's messed up in a lot of cases, but there are a few where it turns out pretty well. You can read about them online."

"Huh, looks like your crush on our biology teacher still hasn't faded," Fujimura said.

Harada-san rolled her eyes. "Oh please, I got over him a long time ago. That doesn't mean I've magically forgotten the Internet searches I'd made for real life student-teacher romance. Though I admit that's why I'm curious about what a teacher really thinks of her students."

Mafuyu answered her truthfully. "Yes, there are a few where it seems rather obvious that they'll grow to be attractive. Both girls and boys." Furuhashi Fumino was already established as one of the school's beauties, and it was easy to tell when girls would gather around one of the male students.

She could admit that freely. Besides, physical appearance was hardly relevant to a person's quality. Kita-kun had a wonderful personality, but his future was worrisome with his indifferent, standoffish behavior. He'd alienate most people before they could get close and see his good characteristics.

'What am I thinking?' Mafuyu scowled. Allowing her thoughts to stray to Kita-kun after Harada-san mentioned student-teacher relationships? She didn't even know why he'd come to mind, but she had to eliminate any association of romance with a student.

Thankfully, the conversation had shifted to another topic, easily allowing Mafuyu to distract herself.

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Mafuyu knew she shouldn't, but her curiosity had gotten the better of her. It was nighttime, she was in her comfortable tracksuit, and she was searching the Internet with her laptop.

Harada-san had been right. The majority of student-teacher relationships ended badly. The ones in which a teacher approached middle school students or even younger were disgusting, but ignoring them didn't change the trend much.

However, Harada-san had also been right about the few cases that had worked out. Some were even married to this day and had social media accounts with pictures of their continuing relationship. Children weren't rare either.

At first, Mafuyu had denied the reason why she'd searched for them. It was inappropriate, incredibly so, but she'd been curious. Only curious.

Nonsense. As if she would let curiosity motivate her to look into so many examples of actual student-teacher relationships. No, as immoral as it was, she . . .

She wanted one.

Kita Jurou. From her first impression of him, it would have been inconceivable that they become friendly. Yet after spending so much time with him, she'd uncovered an expressive, studious, and caring young man.

He loved science fiction. Ask him about the specifics about recent books he'd read and he could talk nonstop with a twinkle in his eye, a sight so different from his usual empty mask. She normally didn't feel any interest in the bizarre things he read about: telepathic aliens who used multiple bodies the same way humans used multiple fingers, the complicated behaviors of robots who still caused trouble even when constrained by behavioral laws, ships that could outrace light. They were strange, but she enjoyed listening to him speak about them and even the philosophy they opened up for him. His ideas were young and unformed, but his passion was admirable.

It was even more of a treat when he blended science fiction with what could someday be reality. For example, he'd told her about a strange effect of time slowing down when approaching the speed of light, an effect formulated by one of Einstein's theories. A traveler could experience days while the outside world went through years, which had been confirmed by airplanes with incredibly precise clocks and something with particles in large labs.

He was kind as well. It was hard to tell at school, since when she saw him he was usually alone, but it was clear with how he treated his aunt. He did much of the housework that Fujimura was often too tired for. They joked and made jabs at each other, but at any sign of actual insult, such as mentioning Fujimura's single status too strongly, he'd apologize immediately. He truly did seem to be soft, as Fujimura had claimed. Not to mention he was responsible for bringing Mafuyu home safely that night the two of them had accidentally gotten drunk. She was incredibly embarrassed but still grateful for that.

Sadly, Kita also had low self-esteem. She didn't know why, even before she'd been attracted to him she'd thought he was a decent young man. However, his brand of humor included self-deprecating jokes. She'd made sure he knew she disapproved of them which had mostly stopped him from making them, although the occasional one still slipped through.

It irritated her beyond belief when he made such a joke, and while they were different each time, they held the same doubts. They were more than just jokes, but none of her words had convinced him to see himself better.

Mafuyu didn't know when she'd formed an attraction for him, when friendship had turned into more. She'd only known him for half a year, but she held a considerable fondness for him. She didn't know if it was as strong as his feelings for her, but she didn't think so.

A hand went to her chest. He felt strongly for her. She'd been so shocked by his confession that she hadn't realized her joy and relief.

Mafuyu looked to her screen again. Not reading any of the words but staring at the picture of the smiling couple. A teacher who'd married his student after she graduated.

It was insanity. Just because it had worked for them didn't mean it would work for her. It was also immoral. Not in the sense that he was too young, he was more mature than many boys his age, but he was still a student at her school. If they were discovered, it would ruin her.

Yet what about the risks of not trying this with him? She missed conversations with Kita-kun, she missed his presence. It was doubtful she could convince him to reform their friendship, but even then she found friendship alone lacking.

Maybe she should let this die down. Wait until both his and her feelings faded and then try to reaffirm their friendship. It was the reasonable option, the right option.

She hated it. She hated the thought that he might find some other girl in that time, although she should want it as it would show that his feelings for her were actually minor. It could happen even if she decided to wait until after graduation to approach him.

Mafuyu should be rational, but if she were rational in the first place she wouldn't be in this situation.

Something more than reason was needed until she made her decision. Not impulse, but a serious study of her desires and the risks attached. Something which would take much longer.