AN: Yay! Oh my gosh, this chapter went nowhere I intended it to go! I hope y'all like it regardless!

***TW: THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS MENTIONS OF SELF-HARM AND SCARS***

Evermore

Chapter 10: Birthday Blues

As the days got shorter and colder, dread grew like a weed in the pit of Jack's stomach. He didn't want to think about late October, about the birthday that every American teenager was supposed to look forward to. Sure, he'd be sixteen. But it wouldn't be any different from being fifteen and it would still prompt a highly predictable phone call from his parents that he really didn't need.

As a child, they'd thrown elaborate parties for him, inviting the snobby kids of their business partners who didn't really like Jack in the first place. He always wound up eating as quickly as possible and tucking himself away in a hidden corner, happy to get away from the barbed whispers and snickers. After about a decade of that glittering display, his parents gave up trying to force him to make friends. At twelve, he started spending his birthdays alone. At least until he was cornered at dinner with the customary here's-what-you-should-do-with-your-life speech over a heaping plate of cake and guilt.

Jack's stomach squirmed whenever he thought about it. So he tried not to. Instead, he threw himself into his training with rigor. His worry woke him earlier despite not getting to bed all that early, doing countless push-ups and sit-ups on the floor of his room before his jog, sweat pooling in his bellybutton. He took shorter breaks during training, not giving his mind enough time to relax lest he spiral. During lessons, he started taking notes. Afterwards, he'd review and revise, writing them over and over again until they were what he deemed as perfect.

His lab was coming along beautifully. Eris worked closely with him, teaching him the small nuances of basic magic. This was quickly becoming his favorite thing; not only was it fascinating, it combined magic with his love of robotics.

Of course, it was only a matter of time before Chase caught on that something wasn't quite right.

"I don't need a break," Jack insisted, rubbing his rear end from where he fell on it moments before. Chase was standing over him, one hand on his hip. His other hand was holding a staff which he'd just used to sweep Jack clean off his feet.

"We've been sparring for an hour now," Chase chided. "That's no longer your choice. You're taking a break."

His eyes flashed as Jack reached for his staff a few feet away. He swiped at it with his own, sending it rolling away across the floor.

"Hey—"

"Enough."

Jack snapped his mouth shut audibly. He knew that tone. It was a watch-it tone, a Spicer-you're-on-thin-ice tone. He lowered his eyes, heart hammering at his own audacity.

"There is something you're not telling me," Chase said, calling him out. "Something you'd rather not think about."

"How'd you…?"

"I tend to use the same tactic when I want to keep my mind occupied."

Jack looked up, eyes wide. Chase regarded him, expression carefully neutral, then offered his hand. He took it, standing.

"Your birthday's on the 27th, correct?"

"Yeah," Jack sighed, rubbing his arm. There was a nice bruise welling up there from Chase's staff. "How'd you know? That my birthday was on my mind, i mean. You can't tell me you didn't use magic or some shit."

"I didn't," Chase smirked. "But thank you for confirming my theory."

Jack groaned, going to retrieve his staff. He bent to pick it up, twirling it between his fingers.

"I swear…"

"You'll be sixteen?"

"Yeah, but it doesn't really matter," Jack said, trying to sound nonchalant with a shrug. Chase frowned.

"Of course it matters. It's when your lifespan is remarkable that birthdays become pointless. For instance, I no longer keep track of my birthdays."

"Why not?" Jack asked curiously.

"Lost count."

Jack snorted, earning a light smack on the back of the head. Chase placed a water bottle in his hands which he cracked open and gulped down.

"You are still young, not even an adult yet. These years are milestones, worth writing down and remembering. You are still growing and maturing."

"I've only grown like… An inch in the past year," Jack whined.

"And that's something you've gained," Chase pointed out. "Your birthday is a time to remember your accomplishments."

"Isn't that what New Year's is for?"

"In Chinese culture, the New Year is more a time for family than a time for your own personal goals. To an American such as yourself, perhaps yes, the New Year would be the time to examine your past year and look forward to the future. But everyone does that. Birthdays are a bit more personalized, don't you think?"

Jack lowered his water bottle. He could understand that, sure. But it didn't erase the past nor all the anxiety curling within him. He looked at Chase from the corner of his eye, watching him gather that long, dark hair into a messy ponytail. It was easy for him to say, seeing as he didn't have to deal with it.

But maybe Jack didn't have to deal with it alone anymore. He cleared his throat.

"Maybe… I just don't like my birthday. I know I'll probably get a stupid call from mom or dad, and then they'll tell me all about the college they wish I'd go to, the jobs they wish I'd take, the girls they wish I'd date, and I… I don't know. Knowing that they'll be disappointed in what I haven't done instead of being proud of what I have done just makes the whole day kinda sour."

Jack's confession hung heavy in the air. It stung in his chest and he didn't dare look at Chase. He heard a sigh.

"I know the expectations of your parents are boulders on your shoulders and have always been. But I think you're missing something quite important."

"What?"

"You don't have to carry them."

Jack turned his head to gape at him. Chase took a sip from his own water bottle.

"You are the one who will ultimately have to live with your choices. So you must be the one to make them."

Depositing the bottle back down on the floor, he stood, brushing off his pants.

"I have a new assignment for you," he announced.

"Oh, jeez, what?" Jack groaned, also clambering it his feet.

"In these last few days leading up to your birthday, make two lists. A list of what you've accomplished in the past year and a list of what you wish to accomplish in the following year."

"What if—what if," Jack stuttered, following his master as he took wide strides back to the center of the room. "What if I don't accomplish any of the things I want to in the next year?"

"Then we'll reevaluate them at that point. And try again. Now… Let's continue."

-oOo-

Rosemary's legs were tucked comfortably underneath her, her paintbrush poised in midair. It hovered above the surface of the canvas before pressing to it. The resulting stroke of paint, dropped down the canvas, vividly green, and she smiled.

She never even heard the knock at her door nor the door opening.

"… I didn't know you painted."

Rosemary jumped with a gasp, almost dropping her paintbrush, head snapping to the side. Eris jumped as well, startled.

"Oh, I'm sorry," she apologized sincerely, hand over her chest. "I didn't mean to scare you."

"No, it's okay, I swear!" Rosemary assured her, lowering her brush, trying to calm her pounding heart. She swirled the brush around in the water cup beside her before standing. Eris leaned slightly to the side, staring at the painting. It was a mess of streaks and swirls, of splatters and droplets.

"If you don't mind me asking, what is it meant to be?"

"Oh, um…" Rosemary flushed slightly, redoing her curly ponytail. "It was, uh… Supposed to be a landscape. But I got frustrated with it. So now it's just an impression of emotion, I guess. I don't have many canvases; I'm trying to make it work."

"I see…" Eris hummed. "How long have you been painting?"

"This one or in general?"

"In general."

"Not long. Just whenever I could. I find it relaxing."

"It wouldn't relax me at all," Eris snorted, leaning against the doorframe. "I possess little talent with art. It would frustrate me."

"That's okay," Rosemary shrugged with a smile. "You have your own talents. I could never hope to be as good with magic as you are… By the way, did you need something?"

"Oh, yes, actually. Do you know where Jack is at the moment?"

"Yeah, he's in the library with Chase. Why?"

Eris glanced back into the hallway before entering the room fully, closing the door quietly behind her.

"Did you get him anything for his birthday?"

Rosemary frowned, paused in wiping the excess water from her paintbrush.

"I tried to think of something but couldn't settle on anything."

"I've got permission from Chase to raid his kitchen to make him a cake," Eris told her in an excited rush, grinning. "Do you have any idea what he might—?"

"Chocolate."

"Chocolate?"

"Yes, chocolate," Rosemary reiterated. "He also loves bananas with peanut butter. That's his go-to snack if there's no chocolate pudding available."

"So a chocolate cake?" Eris suggested. "With sliced bananas on top?"

"No, no… Two layers of chocolate cake with a layer of banana cream in-between them with peanut butter icing on top."

"Okay, you obviously know what you're talking about," Eris sighed. "Could you help me?"

"Absolutely," Rosemary gushed, standing, grinning. "Let's get started."

-oOo-

Jack shifted sleepily, rolling onto his back from his stomach, pressing a palm against his eye. It was rare that he woke before his 6 AM alarm. He hummed, stretching luxuriously. Then he frowned. Was that… Light? Coming in through the window?

He sat up. It was. Surely he hadn't…?

Seizing the alarm clock on the nightstand, he stared at it.

9 AM.

"Fuck!"

With a swoop, Jack ripped the covers off of him, launching out of bed. He stumbled about the room, tugging on his sweats and tank top, slipping on his shoes as he bolted out the door.

When he burst into the dining room, Chase was waiting for him. Legs crossed, a bowl of Lao Mang Lone in front of him, he had a spoon in one hand and a long scroll unrolled in the other. He arched an eyebrow.

"This is a surprise," he commented, and Jack was astounded to hear amusement seep into his tone. "I didn't expect you out of bed until noon."

"What?" Jack panted, brow furrowed as he tried to catch his breath.

Chase snapped his fingers and a tiger approached them, transforming into his warrior form. As Chase ordered breakfast, Jack sank slowly into his chair, mind spinning.

"You expected me to sleep in?" Jack repeated incredulously. "But… It's a Tuesday!"

"It's also your birthday, Jack," Chase pointed out, rolling the scroll back up and handing it to Zhangwei. Jack startled; he hadn't even seen him there. "Deliver this to Chenghu."*

"Right away, my Lord."

After a quick bow and a nod to Jack, he was gone. Jack could've sworn he'd smiled at him. It'd been small but… He was sure the lips had quirked up at the corner.

But he didn't have long to dwell on what might've or might've not been a smile. A warrior sat down a mug in front of him and he blinked; it wasn't the usual cup of green tea Chase had him drink at every meal. No, this beverage was opaque, milky, golden-brown in color… Leaning in, he inhaled deeply. Then he grinned.

"Is this…?" He let the question hang. Chase smirked, stirring his Lao Mang Lone.

"I know I usually only allow coffee consumption on the weekend," he said as Jack wrapped his hands around the mug. It warmed his palms down to the bone and he lifted it up to take a sip. A sigh escaped and he slumped comfortably in his chair. "But I thought I would made an exception for today."

"Thanks, Chase," Jack said earnestly, taking another sip. It was exactly what he would've ordered for himself in a coffeeshop: a hazelnut latte with cinnamon sprinkled on top, smooth and hot as hell.

Like the man he was sitting with.

Jack flushed at the intrusive thought, taking another sip. He stole a glance out of the corner of his eye. Chase was dressed in a casual hanfu that morning, deep burgundy and tied with a black sash, his hair draped in a cascade over one shoulder. It was tied close to the end with a small golden cord, a couple of beads adoring it. He was attractive in his armor but out of it? He was intoxicating. Chase likely knew that. He carried himself with quiet confidence, somewhere between a swagger and a king's gait. It struck Jack that not many mortals were privy to this more relaxed version of the warlord.

Why was he so special?

Chase really wasn't helping Jack's long-term crush on him, giving him his favorite coffee, letting him sleep in, and wearing casual clothes so nonchalantly. It was wildly inappropriate, he knew it. After all, he was only 16 as of that day, Chase stuck in his… Late teens? Early 20's? For the past 1500 years, give or take?

Besides, Chase was his master, Jack the apprentice. Beyond that? He didn't stand a snowball's chance in hell. He shoved that depressing thought aside as breakfast arrived, beef noodles and baozi.

"Have you eaten?" He asked and Chase paused in his soup consumption. Jack smirked as he picked up his chopsticks, smug to have caught his master off guard with a traditionally Chinese greeting. Chase inclined his head.

"I have, thank you for asking," he replied cordially. "Now… If you recall, you had an informal assignment that's due today. Did you remember?"

Jack choked on his noodles, coughing. Once he finally caught his breath again, he flushed.

"I-I didn't forget," he sighed, stirring his noodles around in the dark broth shakily. "They're just… Kinda embarrassing."

"You wish not to share?"

"It's not that. You're going to laugh; after all, my goals are based on me, a teenager, and you're…" Chase arched an eyebrow, urging Jack to go on. He shrugged. "You."

"I will not laugh."

And Chase's tone left no room for argument. So Jack plucked his phone out of his pocket, opening up to his notes app. He sat up straighter, clearing his throat, but picked up his mug of coffee, holding it in front of him with both hands like a shield.

"I, um… Decided to start with just three bullet points and go from there," he started. "I didn't wanna overwhelm myself with a blank page, y'know?"

"Understandable."

"That being said… I still struggled. Because, I guess, I tend to measure my accomplishments based on what everyone else would consider an accomplishment. But my accomplishments are… A bit more simple?

"So for example, one of my biggest accomplishments was not letting Hannibal free even after he laid all my fears out in front of me. I didn't take the bait. Omi let him out. Which is satisfying as hell when I think about it.

"Next bullet point: knowing that a future without the cheeseball led to me ruling the world. So sweet. Just… It's nice to know I have what it takes if I put my mind to it. There were minor victories, of course, like winning some Showdowns and taking home a Wu or two, but… Nothing compares to that glimpse of the future.

"The… The last bullet point is this apprenticeship. I feel like it's pretty self-explanatory. I've always wanted to work with you and now you're training me and it's amazing that you're even giving me a chance."

Jack took a deep sip of coffee to cut himself off before he babbled on any longer. His heart thrummed against his throat. Chase nodded slowly, chin resting on his hand. He wasn't laughing. He wasn't even smiling. Instead there was a glint in his eye.

"Those are good accomplishments, Jack. It's true that they're unusual but there's nothing wrong with that. You've lived an unusual life. Your accomplishments are yours and therefore are enough for you."

Jack's shoulders dropped. He hadn't realized they'd been tensed.

"What do you wish to accomplish before your 17th birthday?"

And suddenly he was tense again. He swallowed, swiping to the next note, hands shaking. This one was more loaded. Why did he write what he did? He chanced a look at Chase. He was watching him patiently, expectantly.

Jack looked at the sleeve of Chase's hanfu. It'd slipped down, showing a muscled forearm, clad in golden skin. The turbulent waters of Jack's mind settled, the ripples fading out, leaving a placid surface. If Chase trusted Jack enough to not wear armor around him, Jack could trust Chase with this. He took a deep breath.

"I only have one thing I was to accomplish this next year. I don't want to hurt myself anymore."

Chase sat up, allowing his arm to rest back on the table.

"… I don't follow. Would you elaborate on that?"

"I, um… Uh…"

"Would this happen to do with the cuts on the inside of your left wrist?"

Jack felt cold. He'd seen them. He tucked his hands under the table quickly, immediately feeling so unbelievable small, he could pop clean out of existence.

"You knew?"

Chase inclined his head.

"I assumed. When did you start?"

"I was… 14, I think. It was right after I left the Xiaolin Temple. After you'd chosen Katnappe over me. It was just… Too much pain to carry in my own skin. I had to get it out."

He scratched at the scars absentmindedly, feeling the ghost of the blade he'd unscrewed from a pencil sharpener. The scars didn't stand out. In fact, no one would even know they were there unless they really looked. They were quite small, three tiny white lines on the left side of the prominent vein in his arm. When he cut, he reopened them, just deep enough to let a little blood slip out, just enough of a sting to satisfy.

It's not like he wanted to die.

A hand clasped over his own. Jack stopped scratching, letting Chase lift the injured wrist to examine it closely. He couldn't look Chase in the eye. He felt the warm pad of Chase's thumb skim over the scars.

"It's unfortunate," Chase sighed. "Magic can close wounds, heal all sorts of injuries… Yet no magic, no matter how potent, can remove scars. You must only be content to let them fade over time."

"I don't want them removed anyway," Jack admitted. "They're proof I can survive. Proof I have survived. I just don't want to do it anymore."

"Good," Chase said, releasing his wrist. "Would you prefer if I held you accountable? Or pretend I never saw?"

Jack turned over the question in his mind, contemplating it carefully. He wished he could settle for something in between those two options. Unfortunately, Chase Young was not a lukewarm man; it would either be all or nothing. But something had to give. He turned his chin upwards, surprising even himself, looking Chase directly in the eye.

"Hold me accountable. Call me out on my bullshit. Please."

Chase nodded slowly, the corner of his lips turning up.

"Of course."

Jack went back to his meal, shaken to the very core but feeling lighter than he had in years.

The day carried on like it would've normally except… With a few twists Jack didn't expect. After breakfast, Chase led Jack to the training room to spar. He quite literally swept the floor with him, knocking him clean off his feet with a staff.

"Just because it's your birthday doesn't mean I'll go easy on you, Spicer," Chase taunted lightly as Jack clambered off the floor, huffing and whining. "Get up and fight me properly."

Despite this, after a light lunch, Chase sent Jack to his lab.

"No lesson?" Jack asked, baffled. Chase shook his head.

"I know you've wanted more lab time. This is your chance. I suggest using it to your full advantage."

Jack didn't point out the irony of this nor Chase's conflicting words; he knew the moment he tried, Chase would snap him right back into training so fast, his head would spin. Plus… He desperately needed time alone. He needed to process their over-breakfast conversation.

Chase knew.

So Jack headed to his lab where he threw himself into his work. It was all set up by this point, all sleek surfaces and colorful wires gleaming. It was a lot nicer than his last lab. Likely because Chase had provided the best materials money could buy, state-of-the-are stuff that Jack only dreamt of before.

The last time he'd built a lab of his own, it'd been thrown together with whatever things he could salvage and afford. Which wasn't much; he could only afford what his own allowance could buy. And he'd saved for years, selling whatever he could make with household appliances to fund his hobby. He considered himself lucky to receive a basic toolkit as a Christmas gift. His passion had only grown from there.

He switched on the light over his main work table, grinning as the LED bulbs lit up the entire surface. It was even more satisfying knowing he wouldn't ever have to buy replacement bulbs; Heylin magic was ridiculously convenient. Now that he had a safe space to create, he could start designing and building robots again. And work them into his training. The very thought filled his veins with electricity, his fingertips buzzing with it.

Chase knew.

Swallowing thickly, Jack ran his hand under the edge of the work table, pressing a button. It activated with a fun little jingle and the surface of the table glowed to life. The touch-screen interface was a feature he'd always lusted after. Pressing down a panel on the edge of the table dispensed a style roughly the size of a normal pencil. Taking it in his hand, he rested it on the surface before him and started designing he first piece in what felt like forever.

It wasn't long before he completely lost himself in the process. He could've been at it for hours or mere minutes before his phone rang, shattering his process and bringing him rushing back to reality. It was only then he realized the fiery warmth of his cheeks and the wetness on them.

Swiping his arm across his face, he checked the caller ID and his heart nearly stopped. He clicked the little phone icon.

"Hi, mom."

-oOo-

When Jack finally made it to the dining room for dinner, he felt heavy. The world's entire weight seemed to have settled on his shoulders. His mom's phone call had been… Brutal. Without his knowledge, his parents had set some plans in motions, big plans for Jack's life, things he certainly didn't want.

"Really, Jack, it's high time you started considering your future."

His future. What did they know about that? He'd almost told his mom about his apprenticeship to a Heylin Warlord but bit his tongue. He couldn't expect her to understand.

In the dining room, he opened his mouth to spill his guts about everything the call entailed… Then froze, his voice dying in his throat. There, on the table, was a small cake. A small cake with light brown frosting. Stepping closer, eyes burning, he read "Happy Birthday, Jack" in orange frosting.

"You can thank Eris for that later."

"She did this?" Jack asked Chase from where the warlord stood in the doorway.

"Her and Rosemary," He affirmed, a soft smirk playing at the edge of his lips. "They insisted despite my warnings that one teenage boy didn't need to consume that much sugar."

Jack choked on a laugh, swiping at his eyes.

"That being said, you will not be consuming the entire confection in one evening."

"Aye-aye, captain," Jack said with a grin, taking a seat. He eyed the two packages on the table. One of them was a holographic black bag with red tissue paper sticking out of it, the other a box wrapped in a red cloth laden with swirling gold patterns, tied at the top. "Are these a test? Or just gifts?"

"As much as I approve of your suspicion, they're gifts. The red one is from Wuya, the black one from the monks."

"The monks?" Jack asked with a frown. "As in… The Xiaolin monks? Are you sure it's safe to open?"

"I checked it," Chase assured him as he also sat at the table. "Dinner first."

Jack paused, hand outstretched for the black gift, pouting.

"But…"

"They will still be there at the end of the meal."

"Oh, alright, fine," he grumbled, picking up his chopsticks and starting on his pork and rice.

Later, lying in bed full of chocolate and banana cream cake, he drowsily acknowledged that despite his parents' best efforts… This day might've been the best birthday he'd ever had. As he drifted off to sleep, all he could think about were the gifts he couldn't wait to use. And the gift Chase promised he'd receive from the warlord himself very soon.

-oOo-

AN: * So I realized that I've been spelling Chenghu incorrectly. The Chinese Pinyin would be Chenghu as opposed to Chunghu. I apologize for this. I will be dipping back into previous chapters to fix my mistake.

I know that self-harm is a really loaded topic for a lot of people out there. As someone who's struggled with it myself, Jack surprised me when it just kinda... Fell into the story. This little tidbit and him trusting Chase with this information changed a lot of what I was actually going to do with this chapter. I'd planned on only touching on his birthday in the first scene then spending the rest of the chapter talking about him doing something fantastically stupid. But then realized that... With Jack trusting Chase the way he does now, he never would've done said fantastically stupid thing.

I hope y'all enjoyed this chapter. Stay tuned for the next chapter of Wild!

-P3ac3fulFor3st