A/N: Thank you to all the people who reviewed the last chapter and said such kind things, and I'm sorry for the delay in posting this update, but I have had another severe attack of Vertigo – don't ask, it is the pits – anyway now that I can almost see straight, I hope that you enjoy it and that finishing and publishing the next update will be plain sailing – fingers crossed

-OG-

"Come on then … chop, chop … Millie… lose the wings and get your shoes on if you're coming with me"

The brisk tone of his voice and the "hurry the fuck up" meant Molly was having to try hard not to giggle, it was so much his own inimitably polite way of telling the old cow that he'd had a bloody basinful of her new hobby of interfering in other peoples' lives. Despite her keep telling him it was strictly for their own bloody good. It seemed he'd decided it was time for the old witch to get on her broomstick and fuck right off, something which couldn't come quick enough for Molly. Apart from anything else she was sick to the bloody back teeth of waiting for the old bag to spill about what had gone on with Millie. It was like being on pins.

"And Mr Fuggley, Daddy? He wants to come wiv us as well"

Millie was waving the unlovely knitted object about a foot in front of his face with an unmistakeably hopeful expression plastered across hers. She obviously believed there was a good chance of him forgetting all about any rule that said the thing had to stay in the house, or was hoping he'd bend it if she did enough pleading. And to be fair she was right, it was something he badly wanted to do and would have done if it had been solely up to him, the beseeching 'please Daddy' look on her face was melting his heart, and the dark curls framing a wide-eyed look that was so thoroughly Molly meant he'd happily have given her anything she asked for. Anything except letting her take the fucking horrible thing out of the house again, doing that had already been the root cause of one drama which could well have ended up as an unthinkable fucking disaster. And apart from any other considerations, there was every chance Molly would kill him if he gave in and said yes.

"Nope … sorry … Mr Fuggley can wait here with Mummy … now lose the wings there's a good girl and come and say goodbye to your Gran … she's going home now to get Granddad his tea"

"Bye"

Her farewell was totally lacking in warmth, it was so distinctly bloody off-hand that Molly was suddenly very conscious that her feelings about Penny had somehow got themselves transmitted to the kids and made a little mental note about being a lot more careful in future. Penny was Charles' mum and she might be an old trout who would greatly benefit from Nan's rug treatment on a bridge over the M25, but he loved her. And it was one thing to heartily dislike the old cow herself but it was bloody wrong for the kids to pick up on it and join in with hating her. Molly had swallowed her pride once before when she'd been pregnant with Chloe, and had made allowances for the old cow and although that might very well be a long time now what she'd done once she could do again. If she tried. Very hard. But the perfunctory tone of Millie's farewell went unnoticed as Chloe rushed over and gave her grandmother a huge hug, one which was warmly reciprocated. One which Molly hoped would distract the old bag from Millie not being exactly devastated.

"Don't want to go wiv you … want to stay here"

Charles had been holding his mother's jacket out for her to slide her arms in the sleeves, but stopped and looked over at the decidedly mutinous expression on her face with eyebrows that shot up "Well … alright … if that's what you want…." The expression on his face was still shocked as he looked over at Molly and shook his head, it was unheard of for Millie to turn down a trip on her own with him, just the two of them "I won't be long, okay?"

"Okay … drive careful … and say thanks to Fi for me, will you? Tell her I'll give her a bell" That was the trouble when your kids went to someone else's house from school, it meant you had to do the same bloody thing, whether you wanted to or not. Millie was now leaning all her weight against Molly's legs and had her thumb firmly plugged in her mouth with Mr Fuggley pressed up against her cheek and Molly's heart sank like a stone. Okay, she wasn't at her very best today, but it had only just slowly dawned on her that Mille could be coming down with something, which was all she bloody needed. If one of them got something then they all would and it would sort of explain the sweets and not wanting to go out in the car with her dad. Shit, none of that was a bit like Millie.

"You okay mate?"

Millie nodded her head in a way that didn't reassure Molly one little bit especially as she kept her thumb in her mouth and just jerked her head away slightly when Molly wiped a hand over her forehead. But whatever it was that was wrong, at least she wasn't hot, although it was obvious there was something. It was just one bloody thing after the other.

"What shall we 'ave for tea, what would you like?"

"Pizza …" Millie answered immediately before stopping and thinking for a second "Wiv chips … and ice cream"

Molly felt a distinct pang of relief, okay whatever was wrong she obviously wasn't that poorly then.

"Please … yeah if you want … so, did you 'ave a nice day at school?"

"No … it was poo … and … and … no-one telled me you wasn't coming, I looked for you everywhere Mummy and I couldn't find you, I fort you was lost … I needed to see you, needed to tell you something … I hate it there, not going to go anymore"

"Oh Mills … course you don't hate it, what about all your friends? And I'm sure I did tell you … " Molly saw Millie's bottom lip start to quiver slightly as she re-lived whatever had upset her but that she was also stubbornly determined not to cry which reminded Molly so much of herself as a little girl "Look … if you was worried or if you forgot or something, Chloe was there wasn't she? … you could of asked her … or your gran … but, listen to me, there's never no need to worry about me and your dad being lost … we'll never be lost" There was a prickling at the back of Molly's eyes "And your Gran was there waiting for you outside when you come out, wasn't she?"

"She doesn't like me; she only likes Chloe … and Sam …"

"Of course she likes you …" Molly could hear herself lying through her bloody teeth and hoped it didn't show, that Millie couldn't hear it in her voice. But she was a crap liar at the best of times and every word Millie had just said was bang on true, her grandmother didn't have any time for her, or for Marcus and she almost completely ignored Livvie even existed, the bloody woman played favourites all the fucking time "Was that why you didn't want the sweets? Or was it something else?"

"They was mean to me … I wanted to cry"

"Oh Millie … who was?"

"We had to take cakes for the party today Mummy… and you said you would … and … and then you forgot … and I wanted to see you"

"Oh SHIT … sorry Mills, I did, didn't I? … I forgot that was today"

"You said shit Mummy … and you're not allowed, that's a really bad word …"

"I know and you're right I shouldn't of … it's a really bad word …" Bugger, her head had been all over the shop, but that was no excuse, she'd totally forgotten she'd been going to get some plain cupcakes from Tesco and whack a bit of icing on them, call them homemade. Shit.

"But that was me, not you … why was they being mean to you?"

Even as she asked the question Molly knew perfectly well that she shouldn't, that kids didn't need much of a reason to be really horrible. Sometimes it was bloody hard to know what was best, to keep on talking about it when there was nothing she could do to make it any better, no magic wand handy, or whether Nan's least said, soonest mended sort of thing was better. Try to change the subject if she could. Talk about something else, except she hadn't got the faintest idea what.

"They said cos I never brought anything I wasn't allowed to eat any of the stuff the other mummies bought…"

"What? …Your teacher said that?"

"Not her, no"

"Who was it? You tell me who it was and I'll find them and give them a good wallop "

There was an expression of such fury on Chloe's outraged little face that Molly was taken straight back to her own days of wading in both fists flying to fight her sisters' battles with any kid who was mean to one of them. It had always been "I can say what I bloody well like, she's my sister, but you can't"

"Nah, that's not the answer Clo … we can't go round walloping people, beating them up isn't right … even if you do think they've asked for it and … and even when you're looking out for your little sister …"

Molly crossed her fingers behind her back, she'd have beaten Sasha to a blood-soaked pulp on the floor if she'd been given half a bloody chance.

"Why not?"

"Don't be silly, you know why not … beating people up is not a good thing to do …we don't settle things with our fists" Oh god, what a bleeding hypocrite "Don't worry about it no more right now, Mills … I'll come in 'n talk to your teacher in the morning … and if anyone's mean to you again just go and find Chloe and she'll tell them to pack it in …"

Shit, that was probably the last thing she should have said. It was totally wrong because now she was bound to get a phone call from the school telling her that Chloe had made some bloody kid cry.

"No hitting anyone though Clo … come on then … who wants Pizza? 'ere by the way do we know where's Sam got to?"

"He went out …" Millie sounded supremely disinterested in Sam's whereabouts "Can we have chips wiv the Pizza Mummy?"

"Please …Yep … don't see why not … as long as you promise to eat all of it not just the chips"

"And ice cream?"

"As long as you eat your Pizza"

"But no bits Mummy" Millie always looked askance at any mushrooms or god forbid, bits of pineapple on her Pizza. She always picked them off one by one and then carefully arranged them neatly round the edge of her plate with all the concentration and attention to detail of a forensic scientist doing an examination "And no weeds neither, don't want weeds on mine"

"Of course not, madam … I'll make sure I tell the cook" Both girls giggled "No rocket leaves for Millie, thanks" Molly didn't mention the bits, she was pretty bloody sure that all the Pizzas in the freezer had what Millie would call bits on them.

-OG-

"Yeah … but it was my bloody fault Charles … I should of made sure and that she knew what was 'appening … the thought of her coming out of school and being unhappy and wanting me and then not being able to find me, thinking I was lost…" The tears were prickling on the backs of her eyes again as she turned her head and willed them to go back where they were coming from before she propped herself up on her elbow to see if there were tissues on the bedside table. He tightened his arms round her "She said she didn't know it was her gran was picking her up … but I did tell her, I know I did … still … my fault I forgot all about the sodding tea party and them stupid bloody cupcakes"

"We did tell her so she'd obviously forgotten, and it was not your fault… you had a lot on your mind" He dropped a kiss on the top of her head "Anyway, I thought they called the food police if anyone tried to pollute the place by taking cake through the door"

"It's like everything else innit, it's okay when it suits them … think it was s'posed to be a treat for something or other, not sure what … not sure Millie would agree somehow … and whose fault was it then? I let her down … sometimes I feel like a bleeding crap mum" Molly gave a loud sniff, no tissues meant she was sniffing in an attempt to stave off a full-blown snot attack.

"Did you just wipe your nose on me?"

"Nah … alright, a bit …stop trying to make me laugh 'n please get me a tissue instead, I don't wanna laugh, I feel really bad … I bloody hate that she was looking for me and I wasn't there"

"Moll, listen to me, you can't always be there … and she's 6 years old for fuck sake … she'll get over it … she was fine at bedtime, all she was bothered about was whether I'd put the right amount of bubbles in her bath … you just watch, she'll have forgotten all about it a long time before you, so stop beating yourself up … tell you what, I'm more bloody annoyed that we're paying them a small fucking fortune and they couldn't even come up with a couple of bloody cakes to make sure she wasn't upset … and what the fuck did they do about the other little sods bullying her, that's what I'd like to know?"

"I dunno … I didn't ask, but that's what she said … I'll find out tomorrow when I go in, I said I'd go and 'ave a word in the morning … tell 'er it was my fault, I was the one forgot …"

"Listen to me … It' . … okay? And no you don't have to go in … I will"

"Nah, you won't … I promised her and I don't need you to do it for me, okay? Anyway, you can't … you're taking Sam remember? And he can't be late … he's already a bag of bleeding nerves"

"There's plenty of time for me to go in and sort them out before we have to get going …"

"But there's no need is there? I can manage"

"I know you can, but … it's not for you … it's for me …"

"Really?"

"Yup"

"Well if you want" Molly still had the distinct feeling that he was lying, that it was more about him wanting to fly to her rescue and stop her getting upset than anything else but that he wasn't going to admit it, and it wasn't worth a row.

"Chloe wants to find them and beat them up"

"That's my girl …"

"Don't encourage 'er for fuck sake" Molly pulled a face "Can do without 'er bashing the living daylights out of some kid … and them ringing me … you know, maybe I should ring them 'n warn 'em … tell 'em to watch it, that bossman is on his way and he's on the bloody warpath …"

"Indeed … they need to buck their bloody ideas up"

"Did you talk to Lady Penelope?"

"What? After the day I've had?" There was a snort of laughter in his voice "Nope … decided I could leave that for another day, I mean there's no rush is there?"

"Coward …"

"Yup … listen, never mind about her, I've been thinking…" Molly giggled "What's so hilarious about that? There's nothing funny about it…"

"That's what you do when I say I been thinking … you always laugh like it's a big joke or something and then tell me I'm dangerous"

"Well … that's different … that's you and not me, isn't it?"

"What do you mean that's different? Cheeky sod …"

"Nothing … I'm only teasing you …"

"You better had be, mate"

"So, are you going to listen to me or not?" He paused "Okay …how about … you give Jacs a shout and see if you can arrange a night out in town with your mates? It's been a very long time since you've seen any of them … and you could even stay overnight at your mums … what do you think?"

"Me … ? On me own … without you …?"

"Yup … of course without me … well … it wouldn't be the same if I tagged along, would it? Anyway, someone's got to stay here and look after the kids, haven't they?"

"What … you sayin' you're gonna do that on your own?"

"Yup …is there something wrong with that?" He huffed "Or I can always get mum to come and give me a hand if you don't trust me"

"Only if you want Millie and Patches to pack their bleeding bags and move out … and probably Marcus 'n all … course I trust you … or maybe I can ask Bashira to come and give you a hand … if you want, that is?"

"Nope … I can manage perfectly well"

"Alright keep your hair on, no need to get all narky … I was just trying to be helpful … I know you can manage …" She wasn't sure she was telling the truth; she'd never really given a minute's thought to Charles looking after them overnight, without her "I dunno … seems a long time since I … I think I might be getting a bit old, can't even remember last time I went somewhere where the music was so bleeding deafening that you had to shout in someone's ear if you wanted to talk to them and where other peoples' sweat dripped off the ceiling… and dodgy geezers kept on trying to flog you illegal shit … and then having to try really hard not to puke with the rest of the drunks on the night bus …"

"Sounds delightful … just as long as you remember that your evening will be a total wreck if you end up in A&E in some London hospital having your stomach pumped"

"Yes Mum … 'ere just out of interest, exactly how old do you think I am for fuck sake? 15?"

"I'm not sure I want to know what you got up to when you were 15"

"Not that"

"Very glad to hear it … and it's just as well you're not isn't it, when you've got your hands where they are … what exactly do you think you're doing?"

"You are getting a bit old if you've already forgot" Molly laughed as he put a hand down and trapped her fingers which had been very slowly making their way down his back until she was stroking his bum with little feather light touches. She knew exactly what effect she was having on him as he tightened his hand round hers and lifted it up to his lips "I thought we was having an early night tonight, thought that was what you said"

"Yep … I did say that, and yep, it is early and we are in bed … and now we are going to settle down and close our eyes and get some sleep"

"Are we?"

"Indeed"

"I'm not tired" Molly wriggled her fingers free of his and put her hand on his hip bone before stealthily sliding one fingertip towards the bulge that was turning the front of his boxers into a tent "I thought you meant …well that it was one of them euphemisms … 'n stop bleeding smirking, that's what it usually means innit?"

"Probably … Yep … alright I know … like I know you're going to stop doing that right now because you are going to go and see the doctor first, get his go ahead, remember? That's what we agreed, and until then we're waiting out …"

"But … I've changed me mind … she said there was nothing for me to worry about, didn't she? … And getting an appointment could take bloody days … they gotta get the stuff from whatsherface, and then it could be a week before they can fit me in … or could be even longer …"

"I know… And in the meantime you can stop what you're doing" He trapped her hand again "Molly … stop it, will you? I haven't changed my mind .. and I'm not a fucking saint …"

"Aren't you? Thought you were and that was a bit of a poor choice of words there Mr James … I thought you was s'posed to be the clever one with words, got certificates for it 'n everything …"

"I have …now stop taking the piss … time to close your eyes and settle down … and to stop trying to distract me …"

"Me?" Molly slid her leg over him and rubbed the inside of her thigh over his "I'm not doing anything"

"That really is not going to make any difference …"

"You sure about that?" Molly giggled "Anyway, don't know what you're talking about"

"No of course you don't …goodnight …"

"I'm already asleep"

-OG-

"I want proper bread … not that stuff…"

"Millie, just eat it, will you?"

Despite sleeping like the bloody dead she was still too tired to get into it with a bolshie 6 year old who was gunning for a fight, she only had enough energy to keep spooning Weetabix into Livvie's mouth which was opening and closing like a little bird. And doing her best not to let her get her hands in it so that she could spread it like cement over her hair and everything else. Even though they hadn't had sex, not proper sex, she was so bloody tired that she couldn't help wondering whether she was suffering from one of those sleep deficit things, maybe something else to ask the doctor if she had to go and see him anyhow.

She'd been harbouring a tiny little hope that Millie wouldn't notice that the bread Charles had bought at the garage shop was some sort of Granary, that in other words it had the dreaded bits in it.

"Put some jam on it or peanut butter … or you can have Weetabix"

"Want Coco-Pops"

"Well you can't 'ave any, there's none left … and you can't have Hob Nobs neither" Molly grabbed the packet of biscuits from Millie, it never ceased to amaze her that she would happily eat Hob Nobs without a single word about bits "Biscuits are not breakfast"

"Yes they are … I saw it on tele"

"Well … yeah … maybe … but them biscuits are not Hob Nobs are they? They're special ones for people who don't have time for breakfast so eat it on the train on the way to work … and anyway, we 'aven't got any, so you can' t have them neither, can you?"

"Daddy does that … goes to work on the train" Millie sat in silence obviously mulling over the options for getting her own way "If you went to the shops you could be nice and buy some for him so he wouldn't be hungry and then he'd have to share them, wouldn't he? He'd be being rude if he didn't"

"Get out of that …" For some reason Charles seemed to be finding her logic very funny.

"Stop it, that's not 'elping … just tell her to eat her flaming breakfast, will you? And stop bleeding laughing, it's not funny"

"It is … a bit" He made a huge effort to stop laughing "Mummy's right, it doesn't matter how clever you are you can't make your brain work on just a few biscuits, can you?"

"Mummy … MUMMY … listen to me, I'm trying to tell you something …"

"What?"

"Mrs Evans says we shouldn't say what, that we should say pardon"

"Sorry Marcus … and she's right … what is it?"

"Noah's mummy said I can have some of their chickens if you say I can … so can I?" There was this pleading note in his voice which Molly couldn't remember ever hearing before and which forced her to pay closer attention to what he was saying "She said they're rescued … and she let me feed them and everything and Noah's given them all names and she said when they get better they'll start laying eggs for his breakfast … so can I? Please …"

"Rescued chickens? Rescued from what?"

"Don't know … something to do with needing to have new batteries or something" Charles was having great difficulty smothering his laugh "What's funny Daddy?"

"Nothing … Did she perhaps say they were battery chickens?"

"That's what I said"

"I dunno Marcus …" Molly was desperate to draw his attention away from Charles who was quietly pissing himself "I don't know anything at all about looking after them and I'm not sure I got time … what's wrong with them anyway, did she say?"

"No … don't think so, just they don't lay eggs at the moment because they've pecked all their feathers out or they fell out or something so they're bald but she said they'll grow back when they haven't got mites anymore"

"Oh good … lovely …" For some reason Charles was still finding the whole thing hilarious, he was apparently in the mood to find everything funny, even the thought of a flock of bald chickens with some sort of things living on them that Fi was obviously desperate to palm off on them.

"They've got loads and loads of them … hundreds probably…"

"Oh, at the very least …"

"Shut up …" Molly shot a warning glance in Charles' direction "I'll talk to Noah's mummy ... alright? Find out what's what but I'm not promising …"

She didn't want to give him an outright refusal. Marcus very, very rarely asked for anything, not like the girls who were always badgering after something, but somehow the thought of having a garden full of bald chickens was giving her the willies. And how the fuck was she supposed to stop Patches chasing them or even worse eating the bloody things if he wanted? It was alright for Charles to be choking with laughter, it wouldn't be him standing out there in the rain trying to make sure nothing happened to Marcus' chickens would it? And all she knew about battery farms was seeing some programme on television about hundreds and hundreds of poor unhappy chickens living in these huge places, apart from that she had no idea. Except that they tasted good with stuffing and roast potatoes. Not that she was going to say anything like that to Marcus, not when he was probably already thinking up names.

-OG-