12

Sitting at the kitchen island, Prussia sighs and then makes a face at himself for being such a pathetic mess right now. With an elbow on the counter, palm on his cheek, he watches Canada work around the kitchen and tries not to imagine the past. Even the recent past comes to him - the stuff from when he was the one cooking for Canada.

Gilbird roosts in his hair, probably sleeping like the lazy bird he is, but Prussia hardly notices. The bird's been with him for years, too far back in his memories to count, and having that familiar presence in his hair is like a balm to soothe his wounds. He shouldn't call Gilbird lazy, really. The yellow chick has done a lot for him, especially recently, leading Canada to him in the midst of that awful place.

With a grimace, Prussia drops both arms to the island and rests his chin on top of them, eyes still watching Canada work. The smell of coffee fills the room and he shuts his eyes, taking in the nice aroma that he's been without for so long. It's amazing how something so simple can make him feel more comfortable and relaxed, even when he's fighting the urge to cave into himself because of the news that one of his friends is working to abolish him.

Abolish.

What will that mean? If they go through with it, will he disappear? He hates thinking of it but he can't stop himself. Usually nations disappear by slowly losing relevance. He knows it's inevitable with his current state in life, as he assumes it might be possible for someone like Romano, too, but that day has always been so far in the future as not to be worrisome. He may not have his own nation like in the good ole' days anymore, but he's still Prussia . He still represents a collection of people that consider themselves Prussian. What will happen to those people if he's written off in a document? Will they still insist on being Prussian or will he fade away the minute the document is signed?

With a small groan, Gilbert buries his face in his arms and shuts his eyes. He doesn't want to think about it. He really, really doesn't want to think about any of it right now. There's not much he can do and there's probably not much Germany can do, either, even if his brother is back to normal. After what they've done, what they've allowed…

The world has a right to hate them.

"Hey," the voice above him belongs to Canada, which is followed by a chirp from Gilbird, so Prussia pulls back and looks up, ignoring the sting in his eyes. "The coffee's done. I wasn't sure if you liked anything else in it so I just left it -"

"Black is good," Prussia says quickly, forcing a grin as he grabs the mug held out to him. "Coffee doesn't need anything else added to it. Hopefully it's a good brand."

"Heh. I don't know about that," Canada murmurs. "I usually go for tea, especially when I'm in England."

"Bah."

It's nice to have a conversation this inane. The world is falling apart around him, but he can still force a smile for a stupidly simple topic. It sort of reminds him of the days when their circumstances were reversed and Prussia was the one playing host to Canada. Heh. Playing host when he should have been torturing for information.

But he likes this small talk. It's a good distraction. It helps keep his mind off of the abolishing thing. With a small grimace, he blows at the steam coming from the coffee and takes in a deep breath. The scent is even better up close. He could fall into that smell and never wake up, just like he could fall into the nostalgia of better days and -

"Oh. The pancakes will be ready soon."

At Canada's comment, he glances up at smirks. "Can't wait."

Matthew's eyes move away from his, toward the stove where he's got the pancakes cooking. The other nation seems to be a little tense and awkward, so Prussia sighs and tries to think of something to calm him down.

Lifting his mug to his lips, his own gaze finds the bandages wrapped around his arm and he remembers he was angry and supposed to be ignoring the Canadian nation. Supposed to be doing a lot of things, actually. But here he is finding comfort in the little things Matthew keeps doing for him. Guess he really shouldn't hold it over the other man's head anymore.

"Don't worry too much, by the way."

Matthew turns back to him, the curl on his head bobbing at the movement. "Huh?"

Prussia grimaces. "What you did in front of Arthur. Don't worry about it. I'm not happy that he had to find out, but I guess...I guess it really was inevitable and it did convince him."

"Oh. That. Uhm. I'm sorry."

He narrows his eyes. "I said don't worry about it. You really don't have to apologize anymore."

"Oh, eh…" Canada bites his bottom lip and shrugs. "Sorry?"

Prussia stares at him for a moment. Matthew isn't exactly comfortable in this situation either, is he? Honestly, he can't imagine anyone would be, unless they wanted to mock him for losing the war and being slated to be abolished eventually. But Canada isn't like that. Matthew isn't like that.

This cute younger nation really does care for an enemy. Sure, they kissed back at Prussia's place all that time ago, and they had some awkward mentions of continuing a relationship, but after where he's been, Gilbert is surprised the man still wants to be nice to him. After all he's seen and heard…

Well, Prussia would like to pursue a relationship, but that's kind of completely off the table now. If he's going to disappear, there's no point. With a grimace, he pushes those thoughts away again and focuses on the Canadian nation. The man turned back around when Prussia didn't continue the conversation and he's busy with those pancakes. Gilbert hums.

Words escape his lips as soon as the thought hits his brain. "You have a cute butt."

Matthew spins around. "Huh?"

"Oh shit," Prussia says, feeling the heat in his face as he sits up straight and tries to bury himself in his coffee. "Didn't mean to say that out loud."

"It's -" Matthew drifts off and Gilbert thinks he's gone and made an absolute fool of himself, but then the Canadian is at the island counter, passing a plate across to him. "It's fine."

He opens his mouth to say something else, but then the other nation is holding out a bottle of maple syrup. So Prussia closes his mouth and takes the bottle without a word. This is what Matthew is all excited to show him, after all. Might as well give it a test.

Staring down at the plate of pancakes in front of him, Gilbert hums as he pours a little bit of the maple syrup on the side. He'll have to taste it first. Wouldn't want to ruin a whole plate of fluffy pancakes because he doesn't like the syrup. Even if Matthew swears by the stuff, he's not going to take any chances.

Sure, he's reminded of when Fritz handed him potatoes and insisted he try those. And how Gilbert couldn't believe his monarch was asking him to eat something they'd pulled out of the ground, something that could look so dirty and was probably not healthy in the least. Except, well, as it turned out, potatoes were delicious - and still are. In fact, they became one of West's favorite foods.

Heh. Wonder what West is eating now. Hopefully Arthur isn't being an ass and feeding him well, or at least as well as they can considering the state of the world right now.

Shaking those thoughts off, Gilbert grabs a fork and tries a slice of pancake with Matthew's maple syrup. Flavor explodes on his tongue, the sweetness breaking through any boundary. His eyes widen. It's - it's amazing.

"Holy shit," he mutters, swallowing another slice and reaching for the bottle to drown his pancakes in the stuff. "I think I'm in love."

Matthew giggles across from him. "Told you it was great."

Prussia looks up to meet his eyes, swallowing more of the delicious goodness before he speaks. "It's awesome ."

Having something so good on his tongue after so long makes him hum in pleasure. He can't stop shoveling the pancakes into his mouth, even as he tries to savor each bite. Oh, he's had pancakes before, but nothing like this .

When his plate is clear, he glances up to Canada, who is still eating - much slower than Prussia's gusto. "You're going to have to make these a lot more while I'm stuck here."

"Oh - uhm - I'll try," Canada murmurs, giving a weak smile. "At least for as long as we still have maple syrup. I - uh - didn't expect you to use so much the first time."

Gilbert licks his lips. "Couldn't help it. I told you, didn't I? I think I'm in love."

"Yes, you did say that…"

With a grin, Gilbert sets his plate to the side and taps the table with a finger. "So you're going to have to make a lot more of that if you want to keep my love."

Blue-violet eyes turn on him almost immediately, the blond curl in Matthew's hair bouncing against his glasses as the Canadian nation jerks his head up. Words fail to fall between them, but Gilbert does his best to keep his grin. He's said something stupid, hasn't he? Running over the words he just said, he bites the inside of his cheek at the realization.

Oh, yeah, did he just confess? Like that? How lame…

Feeling the warmth hit his cheeks, Prussia clears his throat. "Well, uh, I mean, if I could pursue a relationship and all, you'd have to give me more of your Canadian delicacy there to keep me interested. No, wait, that bit was a joke, even if -"

"I would."

"Huh?"

"Pursue a relationship," Canada says, his voice surprisingly steady, considering the circumstances. Prussia feels like his heart is about to beat out of his chest. "Right now. With you."

His tongue gets stuck to the roof of his mouth. His heart really is going far too fast. He can feel the blood rushing in his ears. His face is hot. He glances to the side, then back up to Matthew. Why is he so unnerved by this topic? Why can't he focus?

Oh, right…

"But," he murmurs, "I'm going to disappear."

Canada flinches back a little but his eyes never leave Prussia's own. "You don't know that for a fact."

"I'm not sure anything else could happen if they abolish me."

Oh it hurts to say that out loud. It's going to hurt for a really long time. He's feeling dizzy. He needs to go lie down.

Bringing a hand to his head, he tugs on his hair. Gilbird shifts and chirps at him. He glares up at the bird. It's not nice when your own immortal animal companion is telling you to chill instead of taking your side. Besides, he is chill. He's calm and collected and not at all thinking about what being abolished will mean.

"It's never happened before," Canada says into the awkward atmosphere, reaching across the counter even to grab his other hand. "The whole thing about us abolishing one of our own in a document. It's never happened. So you can't know what'll happen, Gilbert."

"Heh," he swallows. "So you want me to be more optimistic about it all, is that it?"

"Well…I think..." Matthew drifts off, then squeezes his hand. "I think you're too awesome to disappear."

He can't help what he does next. His body reacts before his brain can finish sending the thought to him. Sitting up, he reaches out to pull Matthew closer to him. He connects their lips and sighs as the other man, though startled, responds in kind and opens himself for the moment.

The beautiful, stunning, world-shattering moment.

Gilbert loses himself in those lips. In the touches of the other nation. He's climbed on the counter before he can think - again moving first before the thought fully connects. He slides the plates to the side and moves closer, wanting to touch more, wanting to feel more.

A few more breaths shared between them and his feet are now on the floor. He's leaning into Matthew, who still sits in a tall chair. They go at it like they're drunk on the feeling and they don't want to stop. Well, that much is true. He never wants to stop this . He wants to hold it and never let go.

When he runs a hand up Matthew's shirt and then tugs at the man's waistband, the other nation pulls back with a groan. "Gilbert."

"Hm?" He hums. "That's my name."

"Yeah, uhm," Matthew reaches down and pulls him back from his attempted conquest. "Let's not - not yet -"

The world rushes back into existence and Gilbert feels his face heat. "Ah. Yeah. Sorry. Guess I got a little too excited."

Matthew shakes his head. "It's fine."

Awkward silence stumbles through the air. Gilbird flies around their heads and Prussia spares the yellow chick an exasperated glance. Stupid bird going on about something or other.

Tell him how I feel? Why? Like it's not obvious?

He glares at the bird's response and then sets both hands on Matthew's shoulders. Not that he needs to. Canada is already meeting his eyes and smiling. Of course he knows where this is going, right? Does he really have to come out and say it?

"You would've told Hungary."

He freezes and then words fall out of his mouth. "So about that relationship thing. You wanna try it? To hell with me being abolished. You're right. I can't give up now. I'm too awesome for that."

Matthew's eyes sparkle and Gilbert's heart pounds in excitement at the response he gets. "Yeah. Let's do it."

~!~

Canada smiles and hums as he cleans dishes. He's refused to let Gilbert do anything around the house. He wants to treat the other nation as a guest and not a prisoner, no matter what he technically is right now. Though, he supposes, technically Gilbert is now his boyfriend. Even the thought makes him blush and dance on his feet a little.

A relationship. A real relationship with another nation. No matter the circumstances, he's happy beyond belief. A few days and the glow hasn't faded yet. No wonder the humans are always going on about love in their songs and poetry. It really is such a wonderful feeling, dazzling and bright and the only thing on his mind.

A light chuckle brings his attention to the kitchen doorway where Prussia leans against the archway. "You act like a kid who's never been in love before."

"Ah -" Canada flushes at being called out so obviously and turns back to the soapy water. "Well, it's - I've never - eh - you've been in love?"

Gilbert chuckles again, coming up behind him. "Yeah. It didn't always pan out to a relationship worth keeping, but yeah, I've been here before, so to speak."

Canada bites his lip as he feels hands come to his hips. He would never have expected Gilbert to be the type to want to touch all the time, but maybe it's because of all that's happened to the other nation lately. Maybe he just likes feeling contact with someone who cares, knowing someone else cares. So as awkward as it is, Matthew allows it as he finishes the dishes.

For his part, Gilbert just leans against him and sets a chin on Matthew's shoulder. The bird flies around them both for a few beats, chirping something that makes Gilbert grunt and cling tighter for a moment. Then the yellow chick is on the counter top, hopping around the rack of drying dishes. Matthew laughs when Gilbird is accidentally splashed and the bird practically squeaks in indignation before flying somewhere safer further down the counter and ruffling his now wet feathers.

"Serves him right," Gilbert mutters.

Matthew hums and takes his hands out of the water, pulling the plug on the drain in the process. "Why? What'd he say?"

Gilbert grunts and steps back. "Something ridiculous. Don't worry about it. He's always like this."

"Is he really?"

He turns around with a towel to dry his hands and he faces the red eyes that are glancing around the room. Gilbert really isn't as forward as he appears - at least not when it comes to his feelings. So he can guess what his bird has been tweeting at him lately, if the other nation's shy attitude is anything to go by. It's kind of funny, though. Matthew's the one that's supposed to be shy. He's the one that's new at this whole real relationship thing.

"Keh," Prussia grumbles. "What does it matter anyway?"

Matthew pouts. "I guess it doesn't. I was curious, though."

A slight pink tint spreads across Gilbert's white cheeks and Matthew smiles, though the albino nation waves his hand in front of his face. "Whatever. Do you have something fun to do in this house? Besides sitting around talking and wishing we had beer, I mean?"

While he makes a mental note to buy beer the next time he's out, Matthew gives a shrug in answer to Gilbert's question. "Maybe. I don't really keep anything here except books, but the others might have some stuff hanging around."

"Hm? Where?"

He sets the damp towel to the side and shrugs again. "We'll have to search."

Gilbert groans. "Really? It's a big house, though. They could stash all kinds of things in little places around here."

"Guess we have to get to searching, then."

Red eyes land on him and then Gil laughs. "Guess so. All right. I'll stop complaining. Let's see what we can turn up."

With a nod, Matthew and Gilbert split up to comb through every nook and cranny in the house. Prussia's right, after all. It is a big place. It's supposed to be able to hold all of the members of the British Empire, though, so it has to be big. He's not even sure he's been through it all before; he usually finds his favorite room and calls it a day.

Just like how Prussia found one room done up in different shades of blue to call his own. He'll have to remember that little detail. Prussia obviously likes the color blue. Does it have to do with his country? Probably. The other nation's uniform had been a different shade from the others, too, during the war. Blue, then. So much around Prussia seems to be blue... Except Germany is the one with blue eyes.

Not that Matthew would complain. He likes those red eyes of Gilbert's. Such a unique shade because of his albinism. Especially because of how they'd change slightly depending on the light in the room, or even with Gilbert's emotions.

He hums and smiles to himself as he opens a closet door in one of the many hallways. Its just full of towels and blankets, so he closes it again. Not much fun involved with something like that, unless Gilbert is one to build blanket forts the way he and America would do when they were younger. He thinks on that, then shakes his head.

No, that would be silly and childish and not something a serious nation would do.

"Hey, Matthew!"

The voice comes screaming down the hall and he turns in time to get a face full of yellow bird feathers. "Pft. Wha-what?"

Prussia chuckles as Matthew waves the bird away. "Sorry about Gilbird there, but I found something we can play around with if you're interested."

When Gilbert holds up a metal box and shakes it, Matthew raises his eyebrows. "Dominoes? I didn't think you'd be into that game."

"Keh. Not the game. Who plays the game?"

"Australia," Matthew mutters. "But go on."

Red eyes narrow curiously but the albino nation shrugs it off. "Okay. He just lost some awesome points. But anyway, why don't we create some crazy picture with these and then knock it all down when we're done."

Matthew laughs. He can't help it. Here he'd been thinking building blanket forts would be too childish for the awesome Prussia. Apparently, Gilbert had the heart of a child beating inside that scarred chest of his after all.

"All right," Matthew says with a grin. "Let's see what we can build together."