Chapter 11
It had been two weeks since Echo had been thrown out of the house by Mr Griffin, but it might as well have been yesterday. Lexa could still see how Echo's face contorted in pain when the taser came into contact with her bare skin, screaming her lungs out as it hurt so much. Lexa could still see the way Echo's body hung limply across Mr Griffin's shoulder as he carried her out like dead livestock, lifeless. Even though Lexa thought that she had seen enough, been through enough trauma in her life to be immune to these incredibly cruel acts, what she saw broke her heart and haunts her at night.
She wasn't sure why she felt so strongly towards this: after all, it wasn't anything that she hadn't seen before. At least no blood was shed, so in a way, what Mr Griffin did was more humane than what her third master did to her. While it was not sexual abuse most of the time, the thought of it still made her shudder. Maybe the reason behind why this haunted her so much is because Echo was her first true friend: they had each other's backs during her first few months in the Griffin Estate and over time, their friendship had grown immensely, eventually getting to the point where they can be completely comfortable with each other, joking around and acting like little kids.
Lexa still remembered the time when she confronted Echo for the first time, the first time they had a conversation. It was after Echo got beaten up pretty badly and Lexa found her hiding in the wardrobe, trying to stop herself from whimpering due to the pain of the wounds. Well, Echo had been pretty stubborn and refused Lexa's help at first, but eventually she relented. It felt really good, to be able to help someone get better. It was probably at that moment that Lexa found some meaning in life, that she was not worthless, a piece of junk that can be tossed away without a second thought.
And of course, Clarke. Clarke had more or less been her everything throughout these months. She had been so supportive, so patient. Lexa was now proud to say that she was able to read fluently now and is able to spell simple words quite well, and can write to some extent. She found that her handwriting is small and tidy, whereas Clarke's handwriting was large and loopy. They were both good in their own ways. That aside, what Clarke had also done over the past few months was heal Lexa. Other than the physical healing that she did in the first week, which was incredibly effective by the way, as if it wasn't for all the scars that remind Lexa of what she went through, she wouldn't know that she had hurt in the first place, Clarke had also done a lot of emotional healing. Now Lexa walked with an admirable posture, carrying herself with an elegance that she did not possess before she set foot in the Griffin Estate. Lexa found that to be mainly due to more self-esteem and confidence, because Clarke made her feel like she was more than nothing.
And of course, Lexa couldn't help but start falling in love with the blonde. She hasn't said anything of the sort yet, they haven't even regarded each other as anything but best friends who kiss all the time, because she didn't want to scare the blonde off. She had a feeling that if she came up to Clarke one day and said, 'I love you', she would just slam the door back shut and want nothing to do with the brunette ever again.
Lexa's life was going pretty great right now. She was so happy that Clarke reciprocated her feelings, if anything she initiated it. Lexa didn't know that she was attracted to the blonde until she felt her lips on hers for the first time.
Except more recently, like over the past few days, Lexa found herself starting to notice more things about her master. Although, Clarke had made it pretty clear that she was not Lexa's master, so maybe she should stop referring to Clarke as her master. Anyway, Lexa didn't know how she didn't see it before, Clarke's lithe figure, the way how her clothes sometimes clung to her curves. Also sometimes, Lexa would find herself leering at Clarke's cleavage, given that it is there to see if she was wearing something low-cut. Clarke would look up and Lexa would blush like an idiot, caught in the act.
These new sensations frightened the brunette. Partly because she did not know how to deal with all these new feelings that she felt. So far, it had all been innocent kisses, cuddles at night, and nothing else. And now, Lexa found herself wanting more.
Never had Lexa wanted sex before. If anything, sex was a punishment, something so unpleasurable that Lexa would do anything that she could to get away from it. But now, with all these weird sensations that pool around her legs whenever Clarke's shorts rode up a little too high, Lexa was having second thoughts.
It was a little funny: if someone said that Lexa would crave sex a year ago, Lexa would've slapped them in the face as the idea was so ludicrous.
Lexa sighed and continued to scrub at the dishes, not really paying attention to them. Ever since Echo had gone, Lexa had taken on the duty of doing some of the chores that were completely necessary, such as cooking and laundry. She didn't really bother herself with cleaning the house or trimming the grass, because if she was going to be honest, she couldn't be bothered to. They were time-consuming, boring and she had done enough of that kind of things for a lifetime, and she was only seventeen.
She was worried about Echo, but she was convinced that Echo was alright. She'll find a way.
"It's raining," Clarke pouted as the two of them sat on the bed, watching the raindrops trickle down the glass on the window. It was starting to get dark, so the sky was some form of dark orange, as it has taken an orange hue due to the sun setting, and the storm clouds that were hovering over them made the sky darker than it should be.
"I know," Lexa said. "It's been raining all day, Clarke."
"Still, I can't help but wonder what Echo is doing," Clarke sighed. "She was the longest-serving slave of the family, you know?" she turned to meet Lexa's gaze. "I seriously thought that she was the one that we will keep. She's good at what she does."
"Echo is probably living out the city life right now," Lexa said lightly, trying to steer them away from being in an ominous mood. "Just like we did back then, when we got all that food which made me sick."
"Hopefully," Clarke bit her lip. "I don't know how she would get any money, however. Or how she would get any shelter. She's probably going to sleep in the rain."
"Well, at least it's not cold," Lexa shrugged. "It could be worse."
"What if she got recognised as a slave? What if she just got claimed?" Clarke said.
"Then she'll have food to eat," Lexa mumbled, because that would be the best way to think about that. "I don't think that we should worry about her," she said. "She's strong, ambitious, cunning. She'll be fine. Worrying about her will not change anything."
"I know," Clarke sighed. "I kind of want to go out there and find her. But I have no idea where to look. It would be like looking for a grain of rice in a swimming pool."
"I guess," Lexa said contemplatively. She really wanted to get the subject away from Echo now, because it is making both of them sad and she doesn't like it. Therefore, she scooted closer to the blonde and rested her head against Clarke's chest, looking out the window. Her head was slightly tilted so the raindrops were travelling diagonally, but it was still beautiful. "Tell me something, Clarke," Lexa mumbled, as she got comfortable.
She felt Clarke's hands start to smooth her long mane of brunette hair. "What is it, Lex?"
"Why do I not see you go to school, like ever? I've seen little kids go to school sometimes, and you're not technically an adult yet, so, um, why?" Lexa asked tentatively.
Clarke's hands were starting to make a steady, soothing rhythm. "I quit last year," she admitted.
Lexa tilted her head up slightly to look at Clarke. "Why?" she asked, not in judgement, but in curiosity. If Lexa ever had the opportunity to go to school, she would take it instantly. But maybe that is because she had been deprived of education her whole life. Maybe if she wasn't born a slave and got to go to school from a very young age she would find it boring eventually. Guess being a slave makes one value things more, doesn't it?
"I was in school when, you know, before my mum died. I was actually really good. I wasn't the best, but I was consistently in the top five in the class at those end of topic tests, I had good grades, I was quite popular, the teachers liked me too," Clarke explained. "But, um, after what happened to my mum, I kind of lost all motivation. My grades started to slip, I started to cut myself from my friends. I was miserable, and since you could quit after the final exams when you're sixteen, I decided that school was not going to do me any good so I left."
"Oh," Lexa said in understanding, casting her gaze back towards the amber sky. "Do you regret it?"
"A little," Clarke shrugged. "But I feel like it wouldn't have made a difference whether or not I quit. I wasn't in the right mental… mindset to learn anything anyway."
"I guess that's fair enough," Lexa mumbled, watching two raindrops fuse together and continue its path down the window. A few seconds passed before Lexa twisted herself slightly and looked straight into Clarke's eyes. "What are your dreams, Clarke?"
"My dreams?" Clarke chuckled. "Well, I haven't really thought much about it. Back when I was young, I had considered being a surgeon, just like my mum." Lexa's eyes widened a little. So that was what her mum did professionally. She wondered what Mr Griffin did, and what made the Griffins so wealthy, provided that Mr Griffin was their main income source. "But that kind of went out the window when, um, you know what happened," Clarke said slightly wistfully. "Being a doctor, let alone a surgeon, takes years of training anyway. If I was to pursue that career path I probably won't save any lives until I'm like thirty."
"Really? But what would make that take so long?" she asked.
"There's a lot to learn," Clarke said. "What you are doing can kill or save someone. They have to be sure that you are really trained before they let you take on proper operations."
"That's true," Lexa nodded. "But what about now? Given that you don't have dreams about being a doctor anymore, that is."
"Now? I don't know, if I am going to be honest," Clarke said. "My life had taken a drastic turn, like a meteor knocking a planet off course. I guess that if I'm meant to do something in the future, if my life will turn out to have some purpose, I will find out eventually. Okay, that's enough about me. What about you, Lex?"
"Me?" Lexa said. "Well, personally I don't really think that there is a point in having dreams in the first place. Because I don't think that they will come true."
"Don't say that," Clarke admonished. "Nothing is impossible, Lexa, if you have faith. You're the one who taught me that."
"Okay, and it is coming back to bite me," Lexa half-joked and Clarke chuckled. "But um, me, dreams? I don't really know either, I guess I have never thought much about it. Probably something arty. I don't think that I will be good with numbers or science or something like that."
"Yeah, definitely. I think that you would be a good artist," Clarke pointed out.
"I've never drawn anything before," Lexa said slowly.
"I know," Clarke smiled. "But I just know it. It's like you said, gut feeling is never wrong."
"You really remember every word I say, don't you?" Lexa said, feeling her lips curve into a lopsided smirk.
"Yes," Clarke said. "Because they are worth remembering. They are wise words, those."
"They are not wise," Lexa chuckled. "I literally made them up on the spot."
"And you are a wise person, so I don't see what's wrong with my logic," Clarke tilted her head slightly, so that their heads were now closer together.
The two of them stayed in that position for a while, just watching the raindrops trickle down, listening to the soft buzz of rain hitting the rooftops and the cement outside the house.
"I like this," Lexa said, closing her eyes contently. "I like the petrichor."
"Petrichor?" Clarke echoed.
"Yep," Lexa said. "Petrichor. It's like the nice smell that comes with rain."
"Yeah, I know, I'm just surprised that you know that word," Clarke said.
"Hey!" Lexa mocked offense, placing a hand on her heart. "Just because I'm a slave it doesn't mean I'm stupid!"
"You were never a slave to me," Clarke cooed. "And you never will be. And I never said you were stupid, if anything, you are so smart. You're so amazing, Lex."
Lexa felt herself blushing. She knew that Clarke had said that so many times, but it didn't feel any less special than the first time that the blonde had said it.
"I think that you are just so amazing too, Clarke," Lexa turned around so that they were now face-to-face. "I feel so lucky to even spend a minute with you."
"I'm the lucky one," Clarke mumbled, eyes darting down to Lexa's lips and flickering back up to meet deep emerald orbs. Lexa found herself doing the same.
As if there was some invisible magnetic force between them and they were opposite ends of a magnet, their lips locked together and fireworks were back to exploding inside Lexa's head.
The faint buzz of raindrops were still around them. Lexa knew that many people took rain as a sign of dismay, as a bad omen maybe, as a mood damper, but she never understood why. Rain was necessary for life, for plants to grow. Rain is beautiful.
Clarke let out a low groan when Lexa tilted her head slightly to deepen the kiss. This is what the brunette loved, times like this where she could just lose herself in Clarke. Her lovely smell, just… ah. She loved kissing the blonde so much. It made her forget about everything else, about the fact that she's a slave, the fact that Mr Griffin is a persistent problem in their lives, and skip into another world altogether. A little bit like her in her dreams, except now she was sharing it with Clarke. It was so intimate, that Lexa felt her heart warm and beat faster as the kiss got more fervent with every passing second.
The need for oxygen was too much for them eventually, and Lexa broke the kiss temporarily, to catch her breath. She was able to get a single breath before Clarke let out a petulant whine and latched her lips back onto the brunette's.
She didn't know how much time passed, them just kissing like this, time works differently when you are in such bliss. Time seemed to warp, lasting forever and no time at the same time, it really was a strange, yet pleasant feeling. Then she felt something prod her lower lip, and it wasn't until a few seconds later that Lexa realised that Clarke was prodding at her lower lip with her tongue.
That elevated Lexa's arousal tenfold, and Lexa couldn't help but open her mouth slightly to gain access to the blonde. Clarke wasted no time in exploring her mouth with her tongue, and it was one of the best things that Clarke had ever experienced in her life that she felt some kind of stickiness between her legs, as well as an intense heat gathering there. They had never kissed with tongue before, and Lexa was enjoying it so much that she just had to use her own tongue as well, and when it touched the blonde's, she heard both of them moan. The huskiness and the sexiness of the moan made the space between Lexa's legs even wetter.
Eventually, Clarke grabbed onto Lexa's shoulders lightly and guided her down onto the bed, so that now Clarke was now above her, bodies flush.
Lexa opened her eyes for a brief moment to see nothing but Clarke's slightly moving eyelashes, and with that Lexa closed her eyes again to wallow in the pleasure of them kissing intimately. Their tongues clashed with each other's frequently, and Lexa couldn't stop the small, breathy moans that escaped the back of her throat.
She felt some kind of pressure in between her legs, like somewhere on her lower abdomen, and it wasn't until a bit later that she realised that Clarke's body was pressing down onto her, flush. And when Clarke's hips started to subconsciously rock, the pleasure was too intense that Lexa had to break the kiss to suck in a deep breath.
"Are you okay?" Clarke asked, worried, stopping her movements. Lexa's body immediately started to call for more, for Clarke had stopped.
"Yeah," Lexa mumbled, smiling softly.
"I'm sorry," Clarke said softly. "I probably shouldn't have done that, I guess I just did that instinctively."
"No," Lexa looked deep into Clarke's sapphire eyes, darker than usual. "It's okay. I want this."
Clarke looked a bit hesitant. "Don't feel pressured at all, Lex. It's okay if you don't want to."
"No really, Clarke," Lexa said reassuringly. "I want this."
"Okay," Clarke whispered slowly. "But if you at any point want to stop, tell me, I will, okay? I will never force you into anything like this."
"I know," Lexa whispered back.
Clarke looked a little nervous, but the arousal was still evident in her expression. "I've never done this with anyone before," she muttered.
"That's okay," Lexa said with a soft smile. "I trust you."
Clarke's warm smile was the last thing that Lexa saw before she closed her eyes, for the blonde had reattached her lips onto hers.
When she felt strong hips press into her own, she let out another gasp. She couldn't believe that this was happening. This was amazing. Lexa felt nervous, and scared, but more than anything, she felt excited and exhilarated.
Clarke's tongue entered her mouth again, and this time it was the blonde who let out a moan. She started to undulate her hips again, and every time it went down on the brunette's hips, Lexa felt this jolt of pleasure so intense that it made her gasp again and again.
Within no time, Lexa couldn't hold it in any longer. The heat between her legs was getting so intense, yet it was begging for more. Lexa started to gyrate her hips as well, creating some form of friction with the blonde's which got both of them to moan again.
Time was warping again. Lexa had never reciprocated the act once in her life, every time she had just laid there, squeezing her eyes shut, waiting for it to be over already. But this time, she wanted it to never end.
Some time passed before Clarke was gripping at the bottom of Lexa's shirt, silently asking for permission. Lexa nodded, and soon, Clarke pulled her shirt up, and Lexa lifted her body slightly so that the clothing could be taken off.
As soon as Lexa's top was off, Clarke took hers off as well in one fluid motion. Through the blurry haze of her vision, Lexa could see the smooth, creamy skin underneath, that was illuminated by the weak orange light from the outside. She was so beautiful.
"You're so beautiful," Clarke whispered lovingly as she trailed her way down, placing down tender kisses on different parts of Lexa's body: on her throat, her shoulder, her chest, her stomach.
"It's not," Lexa mumbled, and Clarke got what she meant.
"These scars, they're beautiful," she insisted, trailing her kisses up again until she was eye-level with the brunette. "You are beautiful, everywhere, inside and out."
Lexa blushed slightly before Clarke's lips met her mouth again, kissing with ardour.
Lexa let her hands wander, up the smooth skin on Clarke's back, before settling on her waist. Clarke was doing the same thing. Their hips were still rocking into each other's, and while it was so pleasurable, Lexa's body was still screaming for more.
Clarke seemed to want more too. She was already pulling on Lexa's pants, asking for permission to take them off, and Lexa answered by lifting her hips slightly, allowing the blonde to take it off. It took about fifteen seconds before Lexa was completely naked except that she still had a bra on, and Clarke quickly took her jeans off as well, throwing them off to the side. Her panties quickly followed.
Finding it a little strange that her bra was the last article of clothing that she still had on, she unclasped it and took it off, and Clarke smirked. Clarke quickly took off her bra as well, and within no time their bodies were flush against each other's again, this time without the clothing acting as a restriction. The way that their breasts were moulding into each other… the ecstasy was indescribable. Lexa was already seeing stars.
Clarke's fingers started to trail down Lexa's body, and when they reached Lexa's stomach, she seemed to hesitate.
"Lex…" Clarke mumbled, breaking the kiss momentarily. "Are you sure you want this?"
"Yes," Lexa's voice was a low groan. "Please…"
Clarke's fingers resumed its motion down Lexa's body, and when her warm fingers finally met the sensitive bundle of nerves between the brunette's legs, Lexa let out a loud moan.
"God, Lex," she could vaguely register Clarke saying in awe. "You're so wet."
"I know," Lexa grunted, squeezing her eyes shut. "Please, Clarke."
Clarke started to rub, creating delicious friction, and when her index finger finally found the sensitive nub, Lexa let out another loud moan and arched her back.
"Does that feel good, baby?" Clarke whispered.
Lexa couldn't speak; it was simply impossible to. She could only nod as Clarke continued to rub profusely, sometimes flicking the nub with her thumb and every time she did that, a huge wave of pleasure washed through Lexa's system that she didn't even know what sounds she was making anymore. She could see whites in her vision, and she couldn't help but throw her head back, breathing becoming erratic.
After what seemed like too long, Clarke tentatively stuck a finger inside, and Lexa had to try her hardest to not come right here and now.
It didn't hurt at all. Before, when she was being penetrated, it hurt like a bitch. Now, it brought nothing but pleasure. Maybe the fact that she was completely soaked had something to do with it, maybe it acted as a lubricant or something.
"Ah!" Lexa moaned when Clarke's single finger started to move up and down, in and out. Lexa started to rock her hips again, creating maximum friction, intensify the waves of pleasure even more.
Some time later, Clarke stuck a second finger inside, and Lexa might have moaned again. Everything was blurry, everything was a haze, she was seeing stars everywhere, she didn't know which way was up.
Lexa could feel something building deep inside her, like a balloon that was starting to get bigger and bigger.
It just felt so good. She couldn't really process anything other than the intense ecstasy that she was experiencing right now.
The balloon was growing bigger and bigger. Bigger and bigger.
"Please open your eyes, Lex," she hears Clarke moan breathily, and through the smog of oblivion, Lexa was able to open her deep green eyes. Everything was brighter than usual, she could see blurred lines, she could see the orbs of intense blue that said nothing but pure love.
When she felt Clarke curl her fingers inside her, she felt the balloon pop, sending her into cloud nine, sending her into blissful oblivion. No words could describe how she felt.
She may have screamed. She had no control of her vocal cords, she had no idea.
Clarke's hips slowed to a stop, pulling out her fingers slowly, and as it came out, Lexa let out another moan.
It took a few minutes for Lexa to regain her breath. She had never felt so spent before. She had never felt so happy before. She felt like she was on top of the world, over the moon.
"Was I good?" Clarke's uncertain voice was the first thing that Lexa could register when she came down from her high.
Clarke's insecurity made Lexa laugh. "Good? That was absolutely amazing," she said, still a little out of breath from the aftershocks of her orgasm.
"You sure?" Clarke asked, quietly.
"You just made me come for the first time," Lexa said, smiling warmly because she was so happy, so giddy.
"God," Clarke said, nervously chuckling. "Really?"
"Yes," Lexa whispered, reaching up slightly to plant a tender peck on the blonde's lips. Her legs felt like jelly.
The two of them laid there, in each other's arms, until Lexa wanted to make something clear.
"Clarke, does this mean that we're girlfriends?" she asked nervously.
"I was going to say the same thing," Clarke giggled. "Does it? Do you want to?"
"I really do," Lexa said.
"Well, then we are," Clarke said. "Although it is a bit strange. Normally people become girlfriends before they have sex."
"Nothing about us has ever been normal," Lexa said softly. "We have always been special."
"I guess that's true," Clarke chuckled, and the two girls leaned in for another kiss again.
"In the meantime, I do have another wish," Lexa said, once they broke apart.
"What is it?" Clarke asked.
"I want to return the favour," Lexa stated.
"You sure?" Clarke said. "You don't have to, don't feel forced to just because I –"
"I want to," Lexa stated firmly, cutting her off. "Will you let me?"
Clarke's smile turned to a seductive one. "Of course, Lex. You can show me just how skilled those fingers are."