This is Sacagawea. Here, the Mormons are a superpower.
Welcome to Salt Lake City...the capital and largest city of Deseret. Every now and then, this city needs Spider-Man, Wolverine, and Daredevil. MUCH less often, it needs Kingpin.
In a police station, Otto Parker sits in a chair next to Detective Knight's desk. He's been cuffed to the chair.
The Spidey serum has made Otto's bones as good as cartilege. If he wanted to, he could do it; he could slip out of these cuffs much like an octopus slips through a tiny hole in an aquarium. Alas, he's trying to look innocent, so he doesn't. Plus, Detective Knight is hot; Otto just might stand a chance with her...if only her amorous gaze could move on from Luke Cage's pecs...
God, Otto's hair itches. And his Spidey sense amplifies it, each time it itches. Otto sure would love to stop scratching his hair. But then, the fact that he always wants to might be a bad omen...
At last, Det. Knight comes for him. She unlocks the cuffs, and sets Otto free.
"There you go, Mr. Parker," she says, unlocking his cuffs with her cyber-prosthetic arm; a product of Rand Industries. "You've been cleared. We have no evidence connecting you to the murders of Willis Stryker, Silas King, Ralph Roberts, Jacques Duquesne, Hernan Alvarez, Ava Starr, Alexander Gentry, or Aleksei Sytsevich...whatever the hell they were all doing on the same job together."
"Thanks, Detective." Otto rubs his wrist, where the cuff was. "I'll just...go." He turns to leave.
"Oh, Mr. Parker?"
Otto freezes. Shoot; she's going to re-arrest him. He can just sense it... Or rather, his Spidey sense can sense it...
"You need to get yourself a haircut. As much as I sometimes love men with long hair, that does NOT look good on you."
Peter sighs, and leaves. He should be more relieved that Deseret doesn't know he's Spider-Man. Alas, he just HATES it when his hair grows too long. And to think that actual spiders don't have hair... Or rather, not the same hair that mammals know, for sure...
Ray Stevens, he's going to hate this...
This is a Shoshone reservation. The Shoshone nation doesn't have much rank in Deseret. Regardless, they lived here before the Mormons. And the Deseret left has just barely gotten the Deseret right to reserve their lands for them.
The Deseret right is very strong, of course. They're who all the Mormons are...and then some.
Out here, there's a cottage that sits high on a hill, overlooking much of the reservation. Up here, the sun shines very bright. The cottage has many skylights.
In a studio just behind the cottage, a barber practices her ballet and dancing. She's Latina/Shoshone. She bears a bloody handprint on her face. Otherwise, she's a very talented dancer with long straight raven hair.
Meet Maya Lopez. She can't hear. Alas, she plays the piano like a dove...or rather, like Beethoven. O, the magic she makes with that wooden box that she'll never hear like hearing humans do...
In another studio, a barber chair sits. Here, Otto sits...and dreads the barber's arrival. He should only half-dread her, considering who she is...
With a pair of billy clubs, Ms. Lopez yells, and does some target practice on a punching bag. She loses control, as she thinks of Matt Murdock, her love, being with another female...or worse yet, a MORMON female...preferably one who looks like Amora the Enchantress...
Otto can hear Ms. Lopez yelling from the arena. He trembles. His barber sounds VERY scary. He's not sure if he's ready for this...
Into the boutique, a lobo wanders. He's black, and looks scary. He's missing both ears. He won't take his eyes off Otto.
Otto stares, in fear. He doesn't know whether to cry for help, or go all Spidey the Grey on this lobo's ass...
JIT, the barber arrives. With flashing lights in her jewelry, she signals to Deaffenwulf, the lobo. He stops, and looks at her. She points down the hall...and strobes other lights in her rings.
Deaffenwulf grumbles, and lumbers back down the hall. In the poor dog's absence, Ms. Lopez smiles, claps her hands, and gets ready for the haircut.
With her clapping, she startles Otto. Otto can't quite figure her out...until he sees a patch on the rear end of her hot pants that says KISS ME, I'M DEAF.
There's also a poster on the wall...what little wall space there is...with a picture of a king cobra on it. Its caption reads, CHARM ME, I'M AS DEAF AS A SNAKE.
Without saying a word (being deaf, she never does), Ms. Lopez cuffs Otto's wrists and ankles to the barber chair. Otto gets even more nervous when she takes off her black A-shirt. On the upside, he LOVES what he sees...as much as he knows that Liz Allan will kill him, if she thinks he's been playing peeping Tom with a hot deaf Shoshone chick.
On the VERY steeper downside, Otto sees the tattoo on Ms. Lopez's midriff. It says, REAL MEN DON'T NEED SUPERHUMAN HEARING.
At this, Otto gulps. He has the Spidey sense in him, and hence, has superhuman hearing...whether he wants it or not.
Ms. Lopez takes off her sandals, and places her foot on the edge of the barber chair's seat...just between Otto's thighs. This barber just can't seem to stop having too much fun with little Otto...
With her bare leg up, Ms. Lopez stretches, and yawns. Damn; this girl is WAY too used to being deaf. Alas, that's not to say that Otto isn't digging it...
Once she's settled down and straightened out, she looks at him, with big brown eyes...and shrugs. Clearly, she wants to know what kind of haircut Otto prefers.
Otto's not sure what to do. But he is sure of one thing: he's got nothing to be ashamed of. Whether he wants to be or not, he's just a simple little spider-bitten mutate. He spins his little webs, crawls his little walls, and protects his little homefolk.
He knows he can't tell the truth. Even if he wanted to, she wouldn't hear it. So, he improvises a lie.
"Uh," he tells her, "I'm not sure if you can understand me, but...I work at a shooting gallery. I change the targets, each time they've been shot with too many holes...or several dozen too many. I pick up the cartridge and shell casings, when the shooters are gone. I restock the shelves with fresh magazines when the ones we have have been used up. I see a lot of MG3s and M27s where I work...and not to mention a lot of MP7s and Uzis."
At this, Ms. Lopez smiles. She ties a black scarf over her head, and unsheathes a pair of Ronin katanas.
She was the first Ronin. Alas, she only wishes the role could've become more permanent for her. More regularly, though, she's the Shoshone nation's friendly neighborhood Echo.
She stands close to Otto, with her rack in his face. And it is a VERY generously-grown rack. She makes animal noises, while working those katanas, and shearing Otto's excess hair, one brown lock at a time.
Otto would enjoy this...if he wasn't afraid that she'd somehow catch wind of the fact that he has the Spidey sense's superhuman hearing... Alas, in the meantime, those are some VERY nice hooters. Liz Allan couldn't have harvested better ones for herself. (Don't...tell her that Otto thinks that...)