Chapter 10
'I walked away hoping I had the strength to never look back. But each step I took, was another step away from my heart.'
~Anonymous
"Oh my goodness, come in."
Vanessa opened the front door to Harry's home in a panic, a few seconds after Astrid rang the doorbell. Astrid had informed her of Harry's current condition before their arrival. She'd almost broken down on the call, but Astrid could understand her pain. She was a mother too and would also be heartbroken if she ever met her son in such a state. It had been quite a challenge getting him home, and his driver was the only reason why it was even possible, with Harry's consistent resistance to the option of going home. She knew he was worried about his daughter and was ashamed, but she'd somehow managed to convince him that Zia was asleep and that he didn't have to worry about her.
He'd dozed off on the ride, with his head on her shoulders. It was really hard watching him because she wanted to take his pain away, or at least share it with him. She cared about him and wanted to be a source of happiness and comfort like he'd been to her, but she couldn't. Harry didn't want her to be that person, it's the reason why he'd been holding back all this while when he had feelings for her. She tried to put her hurting emotions aside because his welfare was what mattered the most.
"What happened to him? He wasn't supposed to go to work today." She placed her hand on the sides of his face, pushing his wild mop of hair backwards.
"He just had a few drinks, don't worry, he's going to be fine." Astrid took support from his driver, placing Harry's arm around her shoulders. She was glad he was still silent, as she was unable to bear any more harsh words from him. "He wasn't supposed to be at work?"
"He told me he wasn't going, that he was going to spend the whole day at the cemetery." Vanessa took Harry's bag from his driver, nodding in appreciation before he left, closing the door of the front door behind him. "I hope he didn't take out his emotions on any employee, he has a habit of doing that."
He did. He took it out on her, but it wasn't something she was going to discuss with his mother. It was their problem, and he hadn't said anything far from the truth.
"No, not really. He just cancelled all his meetings, that's all."
"That's a big relief. I guess he's learning to control himself now, and that's a good start." She led them slowly up the stairs to Harry's bedroom. Astrid took a glance around the room when his mother opened the door. A part of it seemed familiar from the last video call she had with Harry and Zia weeks ago, but it looked a lot more luxurious and elegant than she'd thought, just like the rest of his home. It didn't surprise her now, but it did back then when she'd found out about his hidden lifestyle and the fact that it didn't influence his values and humility. It still hadn't changed anything about him, and that was something he'd already passed down to his daughter.
"Thank you so much for this Astrid, I'm sorry you had to stay out late because of it," Vanessa said right after they gently laid Harry down on his bed. " I'll take care of him, don't worry."
"Oh, no, no." Astrid insisted. "You don't have to thank me. Harry is my friend, and I'll help you take care of him, Vanessa, I don't mind at all."
"But your son is…"
"It's alright, I've got a few minutes to spare. Please let me help you, I know you must be hurting too."
"Give me a few minutes, I'll get water and aspirin, or he'll be sick when he gets up in the morning." She dropped Harry's bag on an armchair at a corner of the room, rushing towards the door, still in a panic. "I'll be right back."
"Take your time, I'll be here," Astrid replied with a faint smile that faded the moment she left. She'd been trying to be calm and pretending to be fine, but she wasn't. Her conversation with Harry in his office felt like he'd summed up all the mistakes of her past, all her regrets and shoved them in her face. It made her sore, but she loved him enough to keep all of it aside, at least for a few more minutes for his sake.
She was startled when he suddenly stirred, mumbling a few words before drifting back to sleep. She sighed and unzipped the boot of his right foot, taking it off. She moved closer to him, her hands fidgeting as she tenderly removed his opened shirt that was now stained, desperately hoping he wouldn't wake up. Sighing in relief when he didn't, she sat on the bed next to him, just watching him in silence.
His tousled brown hair fell back, fully revealing the structure of his face. It was strong and defined, his features moulded from granite. He had dark eyebrows, which sloped downwards in a serious expression. She remembered his usually playful smile, that was now drawn into a hard line across his face, replaced with pain that was so visible even in his sleep. She trailed her fingers through his hair, and down to the sides of his face.
He looked so innocent, so vulnerable, like a little child who yearned for the affection of a lost loved one. He looked so lost and depressed that it hurt her, that it reminded her of the state she'd chosen to be in during her heartbreak from Stanley, the reason why her son couldn't live a normal life. Stanley's disappearance didn't just affect the already set wedding plans that were almost completed, it also took a huge toll on her mental and emotional health.
She was just like Harry, living in despair, drinking to ease the pain, even when she was fully aware of her pregnancy. Her father had scolded her several times, mostly at her inhumane decision to go for an abortion, trying to get rid of a child that would forever keep her connected to her fiancee. Looking at the joy Neil brought her now, she despised herself so much for even making that an option in the first place. Although she'd reluctantly kept the pregnancy, she hadn't cared about it either. She often starved herself and neglected herself, letting the loss of one person affect the lives of those who stayed, her family, her friends, and her son, who was innocent in all of it.
She'd been given a wake-up call when the complications started when she realized how cruel of a mother she'd already been to a child who hadn't even been born yet and that she'd been channelling all that pain and anger towards him. It was already too late to make amends, as Neil had been born prematurely due to those complications and had spent the three years of his life paying for her mistakes, for her carelessness. She could have chosen to move on, to focus her attention on loving and caring for her son, but she kept holding onto the past and it cost her a lot more than Stanley's betrayal itself.
Harry was going down that same path, only that he seemed to be handling it a lot better than she did. He didn't just experience a break up as she had, he had lost his life partner, and that seemed like a harder pill to swallow. He had every right to be hurt, especially on her death anniversary. He had every excuse to drown his pain in alcohol and distance himself from the people around him, he had every right to pour out his heart and state how he truly felt about her, positively or negatively.
'I wish you never came back, Astrid. I wish you'd just leave...before I wouldn't be able to let you go.'
She remembered the cold glare, the intensity of his words, the harshness of his tone. She knew the truth, she knew she had a reason for applying to his company. She wanted a job, but it was beyond that, she also wanted his forgiveness. She didn't expect the feelings that resonated from their friendship, but she wanted a chance to make up for hurting him countless times, for giving up on him first. She was relieved when he'd told her at the clinic that she didn't have to, that he'd put it all behind him, but it seemed like he'd only been putting up a front to make her comfortable at work.
She also understood him. She knew he used their past as a shield against his feelings for her because he wasn't ready to move on from Camilla, and not because he was still upset. She also kept making excuses for Stanley, because she still somehow hoped she could give Neil the family he deserved, and not because she still loved him. She was in love with Harry, but their feelings for each other wasn't something they were willing to accept. She couldn't deny that they needed and relied on each other, and that was the problem, it was why he wanted her to leave. It wasn't out of a place of anger or resentment, it was just the honest truth.
She ran her thumb over his cheek, her gaze locked on his face. When he wakes up from this, he would probably deny ever saying those words, or try to convince her that he was drunk and didn't mean them, but they were words that he'd kept in and words he was too scared to say.
"I hope I didn't take too long." Vanessa interrupted her thought, and she immediately pulled her hands away from his face, getting up from where she was seated beside Harry. "I had to be completely sure that Zia was asleep. She often sneaks up on us even after her bedtime."
Astrid put on that smile again, to avoid any suspicions or questions from Harry's mother. She noticed the tray in her hands holding up a bowl of water and ice cubes, a soft face towel, and a glass of water and a pack of aspirin. "That's okay, Neil also does the same thing sometimes. He doesn't really like bedtime."
Vanessa placed the tray on a side table, picking up the bowl and towel, but Astrid insisted, taking them from her. His mother looked so tense and stressed, trying to suppress the fact that she was worried about her son. "It's alright, I'll do it. I'm here to help, remember?"
"It's fine, I can handle it, I just need to…"
"Please let me help you, Vanessa. Harry would be fine, don't worry."
She released the bowl to Astrid reluctantly, a plain expression of shock spread across her face. Astrid could feel her watching as she sat back at the spot she'd gotten up from beside him, and began a gentle cold water compress routine. Harry jolted in his sleep in reaction to the cold temperature of the water, stirring again. This time he almost woke up, and she stopped, that fear returning as she watched him snuggle closer towards her and drifted back to sleep.
Her heart melted at the way he curled up into a ball, hugging a pillow for comfort, and an uncontrollable smile spread across her face. She was very new to this side of him, but she loved it so much and was willing to spend the whole night just watching him.
"You love him...don't you?"
Astrid froze. She'd forgotten that his mother was watching! What was she going to reply to that question now? She bit her lower lip, unable to even look up at her. She didn't want Vanessa to think that she was taking advantage of his situation, she'd wanted to make it about his welfare, and not about her feelings for him.
"It's okay, Astrid. I wouldn't tell him about it, and he's my son, I can assure you that he feels the same way about you."
She knew that already. He'd made it clear back at his office that she'd been on his mind, that his feelings for her had returned. He'd also stated that he didn't want to feel that way about her, so it only made their relationship a lot more complicated than it seemed.
"What matters is his happiness, Vanessa...that's what is important to me."
Vanessa smiled, seeming a lot calmer than before, with her arms folded across her chest. "You've just proved my point, Astrid. You can't deny it now."
Astrid looked up at her, returning her smile. "I don't intend to."
She sat next to Astrid on the bed beside Harry, her eyes full of curiosity. "What happened between you two back then? Harry never really told me the cause of your breakup. He always evaded the question whenever I asked."
Astrid's gaze fell to the ground, "Uhm...It was my fault. I was the cause of our breakup."
"I'm sure that's not true."
"It is. Harry was so different from my past relationships. He wasn't expressive or emotionally present. I'd thought that adding a third party would make him a little more serious about me and...It sounds really silly now, but we were young and immature...that's really it."
His mother gave a soft chuckle, and Astrid was embarrassed. She should have evaded the question because she now understood why Harry always did. "You really didn't understand him, did you?"
She shook her head, still cringing to her previous reply. "I guess not."
"Harry is a very expressive person. When he loves, he loves with all his heart, willing to go miles…but his problem back then was his low esteem and introverted nature. It was something his wife Camilla had also battled with but helped him break out from." She went on, "It's alright if you both couldn't handle it back then, you were kids and he'd pretty much idolized you his whole life. He'd assumed your relationship would make you lose your friends because he was never part of your circle."
"Those fake friendships weren't important to me, Vanessa...not like he was. I wanted him to realize that, but he didn't...when I decided to make it clear to him, it was a little too late...it was just when he'd chosen to give up."
"You were supposed to be his date that night, right? At the winter formal?"
"Yeah, I was."
"But you went with someone else."
Astrid nodded. "Yeah."
"That was why he stayed up in his room the whole day after that night. You know there was a huge fire incident and he was locked up upstairs and I couldn't get to him when the fire started. It's how he lost his left leg."
Astrid's hand flew to her mouth in shock. "I'm so sorry, Vanessa. I didn't know that…"
"It's alright, Astrid. Don't apologize for anything. I was the cause of the fire, how do you think I feel if you're blaming yourself? Harry would have been in his room at that moment regardless of the outcome of your date, so it's not your fault." She placed her hands on Astrid's shoulders. "I just wanted to tell you why we had to leave Arizona because I'm sure you were probably curious about his disappearance."
"I was." Astrid nodded. "I just thought it was because of…"
"Of course not. You had nothing to do with that, okay? I'd told Harry to give you a call, and say goodbye, but he didn't want to...he just wanted to leave."
"I...I can't blame him for that...I pretty much deserved it."
"But that's the past. You two are a lot older now, and more mature, so I hope you can handle things differently this time. I don't believe your paths intertwining again was just coincidental, I'd like to believe it was for a purpose."
"I guess."
"Plus you make him happy. He's been so different these past weeks, and I'm honestly grateful to you for that, Astrid."
"Come on, he's done a lot more for me, besides, I haven't done anything special. He's just…" She trailed off, taking a glance at Harry, then back at his mother. "He's just an amazing person, Vanessa. The way you raised him is very admirable, I wish I can do the same for my son."
"You already are...even on your own. You are a lot stronger than I was, so I'm sure your little boy would grow up to be a man you would be so proud of."
Astrid smiled and leaned in towards her as both mothers embraced each other. She remembered the close bond she'd formed with Harry's mother during her frequent sleepovers and visits to his home. Vanessa had been the closest to a mother figure in her life. She'd remembered the failed and funny cooking sessions she often had, and things she'd always wanted to do with her mother.
She also remembered Vanessa volunteering to go with her for a mother-daughter dance when she and Harry became a couple, and that was where their bond began. It had been such fun and wonderful memories with Harry and his family, making her question, even more, the fact that she'd taken all that for granted.
"It's so hard tho," Astrid whispered, leaning into her shoulders. "No one gave me the heads up that being a mother is hard."
Vanessa chuckled, "It is hard...but it is also worth it."
"Thank you, Vanessa."
"You should bring your son along to visit us sometime. I really want to meet him."
"Sure...I definitely will."
Harry Haddock stared at the ceiling, blinking through his blurred vision till he was fully awake. He stretched, rubbing on his eyes, and a bit confused about why he was still half-dressed in the outfit he'd worn to work the previous day. His eyes popped when the memories started pouring in. Astrid was the last person he remembered speaking with, rejecting her offer to have lunch with her at work. He remembered how harsh his tone was, and how disappointed she must've felt after that. He also remembered taking a few drinks to escape his thoughts, and everything after that was blanked out. He didn't remember picking Zia up from school or driving back home from work.
How the hell did he get back home, again? Was it Astrid?! He'd instructed his employees to avoid his office for the day but knew she was the only one brave enough to go against that order. She was the only one close enough to take him home and was also the only one aware of his address. He hastily slid out of his bed and threw on his robe, dashing out of his bedroom in search of his mother, with so many questions filling up his mind. He was a very lightheaded person and knew how crazy he could get with the slightest trace of alcohol in his system. He needed to be sure he hadn't caused a scene or did anything to hurt Astrid.
"Mum? Mum, are you there?" He called as he walked through the hallway and towards her bedroom. "Mum?"
"Harry! Oh, you're awake. It took you long enough."
"Good morning, mum."
"Good morning, your majesty. I hope you had enough to drink yesterday because that's gonna be the last time I'll let you do that to yourself." She seemed a little angry and fed up with him, and he honestly couldn't blame her, not when he was still unsure of the trouble he'd caused the previous day.
"I'm sorry, mum."
"Save that apology for Astrid. I have no idea how she managed to get you down here in the state you were, but she deserves a huge apology from you. She's your secretary, and not an errand girl or your chambermaid."
"Did I...do anything wrong to her?"
"How would I know? You should be asking her that." Vaness rolled her eyes, "It's hard enough that she had to bring you here when she has a toddler at home."
"Alright, I'll get to work and apologize to her for it. I need to get Zia to school already, it's…" He was interrupted by a sudden outburst of laughter from his mother that startled him. "What is it, mum?"
"Did you check the time after you got up? It's one in the afternoon, Harry! You should be getting ready to pick her up from school. I drove her to school myself and had to tell her that you were really exhausted."
"Oh my gosh, mum, you didn't wake me up?!"
"Is this the first time you've done this? You always sleep in the day after, right? It has always been your routine, so I didn't want to wake you."
"Not this time, mum! We're expecting an official visit from the contractor soon, it could be today!" Harry exclaimed in a sudden panic about dashing out of her room, before she stopped him.
"Harry...wait."
"Yes, mum?"
"You didn't go to see her yesterday as you said you would. Why?"
His brows dropped into a frown, looking away in pain. "I don't know. I just couldn't."
She opened her arms wide, gesturing him to lean in for a hug. He obliged immediately, wrapping his arms around her, and burying his face in her shoulders. "It's going to be alright, Harry. It's good that you released the pain, you mourned her and that's fine. Just keep living, move on...and be happy. It's all I want for you, son."
"Did Zia see me last night?"
"No...and that's another reason why you should thank Astrid. She called ahead to make sure I'd put her to bed before you came home."
"I would, once I get to work."
"You better."
Harry smiled when he sniffed in the lovely lavender scent of her hair. "I love you, mum."
"I love you too, son."
Starting his day way behind time messed up his regular schedule for the rest of it. He'd already missed most of it, and although his employees probably weren't expecting him to be at work, he still had to make it. It'd been exactly thirty minutes since he got up from sleep, but was able to make it to his office just in time before rushing off to pick his daughter up from school. Walking out of the elevator, he placed his hand on his forehead, still a little dizzy from the headache he'd woken up with. He never intended to even drink this time, but just like Camilla's previous anniversaries, succumbed to the pain of her absence that made him turn to the only option to make him forget.
He exhaled and walked through the workstations of some of his employees who bowed lightly, greeting him. The unusual expression of fear on their faces made him remember when he'd fired one of them exactly a year ago, only to wake up completely oblivious to the act. He'd tried to reach out to apologize, but it was already too late. It was why he'd cancelled all his meetings and instructed them to avoid his office for the entire day. He didn't feel the need to do the same to Astrid, since his relationship with her was a lot different. It was far beyond her job as his secretary.
He walked into the main entrance to his office, taking a quick glance at Astrid's work desk at the left corner. He stopped, staring at it with a sceptical look. For some reason, her desk was empty. All the files, the picture of her son, the board of sticky notes, everything was gone. His eyes widened, trying not to think out his suspicions or believe them for a second, he just rushed into his office and pulled out his phone to call her immediately.
"Harry...you're here. I've been waiting for you."
"Astrid!" He exclaimed, both relieved and overjoyed to see her. One glance at her and his heart soared. He'd seen her countless times, but somehow always seemed so mesmerized each time, with her beauty that could grace any billboard or magazine cover. She was dressed so casually, in a pair of jeans and a sleeveless top. It was definitely against the usual dress code, but he didn't care, she was worth the exception.
"I'm so glad you're here, I thought you had...it doesn't matter, it's good to see you."
"Same here." She smiled, "How are you feeling today, Harry? I hope you're okay."
"I'm great...thanks to you." He reached for her hand, weaving his fingers between hers. She seemed so shocked, but it didn't hold him back. "I'm sorry, Astrid. I'm sorry for the way I spoke to you when you were just worried about me. I'm sorry for all the trouble I caused you last night. I didn't expect to drink that much...I…"
She gave his hand a little squeeze, shaking her head. "It's okay, I understand. You were hurting and needed to let it out, besides you weren't rude or mean to me. You were sad and didn't need to force yourself to be happy, so I get it."
"I still have to apologize to you..." He insisted. "And thank you for your efforts, for getting me home...I'm really thankful for that."
"You're my friend, Harry. I didn't do anything you wouldn't have done for me if I was in that situation, so you don't have to thank me for anything. I'm just glad you were able to get through that...and that you're happy today."
"But still...thank you. It means a whole lot to me."
"You're welcome." She slowly pulled her hand away from his grip, and he withdrew his hand, with a sudden awkwardness gripping them both.
"Uhm...I don't think the contractor would make it here this week, but we have to be patient. I have faith in the success of this project, we've worked so hard on it, so I believe we will get positive results."
She nodded in agreement but didn't seem amused. "I believe we would too."
"Is there...a problem?" He noticed her discomfort, like she wanted to say something, but was holding back. "Your desk was empty...do you need a replacement for it? I could…"
"No, no, the desk is fine, Harry. I just need to give you this." She pulled out a folded document offering it to him. Her expression startled him, but he chose to be optimistic.
"What's this? The long-awaited letter from the MEP consultant?"
"No…It's my...resignation letter."
Harry instantly looked up from the paper, the fear returning at that instant. Her words rendered him utterly speechless, his brain unable to process the reason behind this sudden out of the blue decision. "What?"
"I've decided...to leave the company."
Harry scoffed in disbelief, still hoping she was pulling some kind of ridiculous prank on him. If she was, it was too much of a joke to be taken lightly. "Where's this coming from? You can't be serious, right? You have to be kidding."
The look in her eyes scared him even more. "I'm not...besides, this was only temporary, right? So it shouldn't be a problem."
"It was temporary for six months, Astrid. You've been here for just two months, and I promised to give you a better job placement, so why are we having this conversation? Is it your salary? benefits? Whatever it is, Astrid, I'm willing to do it."
"It's not that. I just need a change of environment, that's all."
Wow. Was that all she could come up with? She was deciding not just to leave his company, but also dissolve the bond that both they and their families had built with each other. His daughter would be affected the most. Zia's bond with Astrid was something that wouldn't be fair to take away from her, same with his closeness to her son, Neil, and for what? change of environment?! She was walking away from his life, taking with her all the joy and happiness her presence had brought, and going back to what his life had been without her, was what scared him the most.
"What did I say to you last night? You have to tell me what I said or did to you that triggered such a decision. Being drunk is not an excuse, that's why I'm apologising for whatever it is. Did I abuse you? Did I hurt you? Did I…"
"Harry, you would never hurt me even if you were threatened to do so. You didn't do anything wrong, okay? This is just something I have to do for myself. I'm sure you'd easily find a replacement, it wouldn't be hard."
Words left him. He stared into those bright blue eyes that were clearly holding back tears and whatever it was that led to this decision, and his heart fell silent. He searched them, wishing he could make her understand that this was beyond just working at his company. Did she not understand? He didn't need a secretary or liaison officer, he needed Astrid Hofferson! He needed her words, her beautiful smile, her presence, her ability to make him smile, and the unlimited positivity her aura brought him. None of it was replaceable.
Did she not understand? That she'd been on his mind for weeks, dominating his thoughts, giving him more and more reasons to be at work, just from the excitement of getting to see her again? He relied on her because she gave him strength, she encouraged him and made his daughter happy. She was someone that could never be replaced, not as easy as she made it seem.
"Please, Astrid...please tell me what this is about and I'll resolve it right away. Your reason for choosing to leave isn't sensible at all."
"It isn't...but it's still my decision, so I hope you can respect it."
He took the paper from her and walked towards his desk. Without giving her a reply, he picked up his pen and signed it, not for a second giving his mind the chance to wander towards the consequences of her absence. He didn't want to impose his selfish needs on her if she felt she needed to go, he had to let her go. He still had to show her that he respected choices and decisions, even if he was entirely against it.
"Here." He returned the signed letter to her, still somehow in disbelief of the entire situation. "We usually give three months' compensation, so I'll send that before the end of today. It was great having you here, your service is highly appreciated."
"Thank you." She actually retrieved the paper from him, still not in any way trying to reconsider as Harry hoped she would. Without looking back, he started heading for the door, resisting the urge to lock her up in his office, wrap his arms around her, and stop her from leaving.
"Harry." She suddenly called out, but he ignored her, still moving towards the door when she rushed to block his path. "Harry...wait."
"I have to pick up Zia from school. I'm already late."
"Harry! Hold on a second." She gripped his hand to stop him just as he reached the door. "We can't part ways like this, we are adults now and not teenagers."
He raised an eyebrow in disbelief, "What exactly do you want me to say? Do you want me to say goodbye to you? You of all people should know me, Astrid. I don't say goodbyes...especially to people I never wanted to lose in the first place."
"Okay, this isn't goodbye. I'll be there at Zia's birthday party, I'll be there for her spelling bee competition. We would still see each other somehow."
"And then what? We go back to being part of each other's faded memories?" He asked, and she went silent, locking her eyes with his. She still didn't get it. It wasn't just about their kids, it was about the two of them and the fact he hoped that things would go differently on their second chance. He hoped that they could learn from their mistakes and build a better relationship far from what they had in the past.
"I gotta go, Astrid. It was nice having you back again."
"Is this how it's always going to be, Astrid? You're just gonna keep going through multiple heartbreaks and making me suffer for it?"
Astrid stuck her spoon into the large bowl of mint chocolate ice cream, her main escape from her gloomy moods. She'd returned from her last day at Haddock limited and decided to spend the rest of the week with her father since Heather had left on a long vacation to spend the weekend with her family in Oregon. Her stepmother, Molly had also invited them over, offering to take care of Neil for a while.
It'd been almost several hours since she'd left the company, but somehow still couldn't get Harry's words out of her head. "It wasn't heartbreak, dad since we never even dated in the first place."
"So, why are you doing this to yourself? You cried all day, and now stuffing a bowl of ice cream in your face?"
"Atleast it's not alcohol. Maybe if Harry stuffed his face in ice cream last night, I wouldn't have had to resign from his company." She shoved another spoon into her mouth. "And then he had the nerve to somehow turn it against me? He would never even talk to me like that in high school, I would have…"
"Twisted his arm?" Her father snorted, holding back his laughter. "If he wasn't so in love with you, that would be about a month's jail time."
"Please…" Astrid rolled his eyes. "You don't hurt the people you love."
"Astrid...he was drunk, cut him some slack."
"Do you know the worst part of it, dad? All this time, he's had feelings for me…"
"Oh, he has? Should I be shocked? startled? or surprised?"
"...and then, blamed it on me like I threw myself on him or something. I hardly ever spoke to him when I first got there! He was the one who came onto me, with his smiles, compliments and offers...and now I'm the one who's at fault? Ugh! The nerve!"
"Are we throwing tantrums now? And no longer tears?"
"The ice cream isn't working apparently."
"Should I get alcohol then? I could even drive you there after a few bottles so you can have your revenge on him. What do you say?"
"No, I'm good. I quit that after what I did to Neil, remember? I never plan on going back...not for anything, and certainly not for anyone."
"Did he really tell you to leave the company? Or is that just you blowing this way out of proportion." Her expression made him snicker after he changed the channel on the television from the animated show she'd been watching with Neil before his bedtime. She reached for the remote, but he stopped her, "Hey, remember that you're in my house...we watch what I want, alright?"
Astrid rolled her eyes and turned her attention back to the ice cream. "I'm not blowing anything out of proportion, Dad. He looked into my eyes and said...I wish you never came back, Astrid. I wish you'd just leave...before I wouldn't be able to let you go."
"He said it that way? and you left?"
"What do you mean, Dad? I shouldn't have left?"
"Don't you see, Astrid? That guy loves you, but he was mourning his wife at that moment and was trying to escape the truth that he was opening up to someone else that wasn't her. Did he by any chance mention his wife to you?"
"He didn't just mention her, he thought I was her. He literally called me Camilla."
"It was her anniversary, and she was his life partner. It's not that easy to let go, believe me I know. I'd been in love with Molly for a whole year before I came to accept the fact that I was." He went on. "Harry is going through that same phase with you. It's not something you can resolve, but walking away isn't the best option either."
"So what should I have done, dad?"
"Did you talk to him about it? Wasn't he curious to know why you decided to leave?"
Astrid looked away. "He was...but I didn't want to tell him."
"That's the issue. Relationships don't work by hiding things, Astrid...friendships too. Maybe things would have gone differently if you'd just told him the problem."
Tears filled her eyes again, and she immediately scooped up another spoon of ice cream, but her father stopped her. "Enough. You've had enough. It's not going to numb your pain, or make you feel better."
"Just let me have this, dad."
"No." He withdrew the bowl from her, grabbing the spoon before the content went into her mouth. "I said enough. You're going to get sick. You can cry all you want, but this is not gonna do anything...and neither is alcohol!"
Astrid broke down in tears, hugging her knees close to her chest. "What is wrong with me, dad? I've been through numerous failed relationships and I'm tired. I know you say I'm strong, but I'm tired of being strong."
Andrew Hofferson moved closer towards his daughter, pulling her into an amorous embrace. "There's nothing wrong with you, Astrid, you know that. Look at you, you're a beautiful woman, guys would grovel to get someone half the person you are."
She rubbed on her eyes and wrapped her arms around him. "Of course you'd say that...you are my dad."
"Then you also have to believe it too, because I'm your dad."
"Do I have a choice?"
"First live for Neil, live for yourself, and me, okay? You deserve to be loved, and not always have to sacrifice for love. The right guy is out there...you've probably met him already...once...or maybe twice."
"Dad!"
"What? It literally could be anybody"
"Yeah, right." She leaned in, hugging him tighter.
"It's funny how you always talk about being grown and being an adult but then become my little girl again whenever you are sad."
"Come on, Dad. I'm always your little girl...atleast until my first successful relationship."
"How do you expect me to root for that? When I'd have to give you up to some random stranger? I'm not looking forward to that...not yet."
"Not if it's Harry right? Cause you sure were looking a little too forward to seeing us being a couple...both then and even now."
"Harry is different, Astrid. I said this before and I'm going to say it again until you convince me otherwise with someone who can match up. He's a lot better than every other airhead I've had to endure for your sake...and that's me being nice."
"I really do love him, Dad."
"Well...it's your fault for not telling him that."
Harry dropped his pen roughly burying his face in his palms. Astrid already left before he returned from his usual afternoon school runs for Zia, and couldn't concentrate on anything else since then. He just couldn't bring himself to the realization that she was really gone, and for reasons, she'd chosen not to tell him. Leaning back on the swivel chair, he stared at the ceiling, searching his memories thoroughly, hoping he could remember something...anything! It'd just been a few hours, and her absence was already getting to him and could drive him nuts in a few more hours.
He'd never expected this, he'd never prepared for this. He'd gotten so used to depending on her that he hadn't questioned his life if she ever did choose to leave, and neither had he made any moves to make sure it never happened. He'd just assumed she would always be there with him, even if he kept his feelings for her to himself. He glanced at the time and noticed it was already late, without any productive result to show for the time spent. He'd just been thinking about ways to get answers to his questions.
The only thing that kept him sane was the fact that she promised to be at Zia's birthday party, the fact that he had chances to see her again, and hopefully convince her to return to the company. If he was successful this time, he would never make her his secretary again. She was qualified and deserved a lot better than that.
"Laura, send out vacancy announcements as you did before for the position of the secretary and liaison officer." He instructed Laura, his employee from the design development department. "I need applicants as quickly as possible."
She paused, staring at him with a shocked expression. "Uhm...but sir...isn't that Astrid's position? I didn't see her at work today but I'm sure she…"
Harry stood up, packing up the documents on his desk in preparation to go home. "Astrid isn't with us anymore...I need someone to fill that position urgently."
"Oh my gosh! I'm so sorry, sir. I was the one who asked her to give you those documents. She didn't want to walk into your office, but I convinced her that you wouldn't fire her and…"
Harry smirked, "I didn't fire her, Laura. I would never do that."
Or did he? Maybe he did fire her, and then totally blanked on it. It couldn't have been the case, or else it would have been easy for her to tell him about it. "She just decided to leave, and didn't want to give a reason to back it up."
"How could she have decided to leave like that? She was so terrified of losing her job yesterday when I convinced her to talk to you and…"
"What?" Harry slid his hands into the pocket of his pants. "Why would you convince her to talk to me? Was it just to sign those documents? I could have done that today."
"Uhm...I'm sorry, I just thought you needed someone to talk to at that moment and you two seemed like friends, that was the only reason I suggested it."
Harry gave a soft chuckle. "You're one of them, aren't you?"
"One of what, sir?"
"Don't play dumb with me, I've heard the rumours too you know? I'm fully aware that everyone thinks we were having an affair."
She started trembling, looking away with a face of regret. "I'm not one of them, Sir. I never assumed such a thing. I even talked to Astrid about it and she confirmed that you both were just friends...t...that's all Sir."
"Just send out the applications, Laura. Those rumours are honestly the very least of my problems." Harry threw his bag across his shoulders, heading towards the exit.
"Sir? Is Astrid...really not coming back? Was her decision...final?"
Harry stopped and swallowed hard. He didn't want her decision to be final. He still hoped that he could gather the courage to tell her why her decision hurt him so much, why he really wanted her to stay, and how he really felt about her.
"I don't know, Laura...I honestly don't know."
PS: I love constructive criticism. It makes me grow and develop as a writer, but there's a difference between that and just being plain rude. I have had some readers give rude remarks without making any sensible point to learn from. It doesn't make writers grow, it just makes them lose confidence in their work.
To GUEST (The comment I deleted): I did research on prosthetics and didn't see one without aluminium and titanium attachment at the knee or ankle joints for flexibility, and that was what Neil was attracted to. In a real context, if you don't know this, you just assume it's metal, especially as a kid (Neil). Remember I always called it a prosthetic leg till Astrid and Neil called it metal. A functional prosthetic can't look exactly like a real leg so I don't get your point. Maybe you should stop picturing the stick Hiccup had for a leg in HTTYD because what Harry has here is a real prosthetic.
Astrid weighs a hundred and twenty pounds. No, she's not anorexic, she's just tall and skinny like she was in the movies. Harry said that because he has a personality of being sarcastic, and exaggerates things, you would know that if you have watched HTTYD.
These were understandable issues on your side, but the tone of your message was really rude and I had to do this because I can't pm guest accounts. Rather than writing off the whole story, you just had to ask questions for clarifications on the issues. Please I hope you learn, so other writers wouldn't have to go through this, Thank you.