Y si me voy a perder, quiero perderme contigo.
They remained where they had sat in the meeting circle, with Panam at 12 o'clock and him at 3 o'clock. Vs eyes shifted apprehensively from Panam to the canopy ceiling to his feet to back outside, anything to keep him from meeting her eye. The chieftess hadn't broken her wrathful gaze since they had been left alone. He had tried to apologise again, but she had just told him to be quiet. So here he sat, shifting uncomfortably under her glare and hoping something happened soon. Suddenly she sighed and shook her head.
"Love, trust, respect. Do you remember?" She asked him.
You and Me. Family.
He remembered. She had said that to him at the safehouse back when he thought she was proposing to him. V sighed himself, and brought a hand to his forehead. Hiding out by himself he thought he was giving her space, giving time to accept the fact that her fathers death lay squarely on his shoulders. The mercenary had even thought about just abandoning camp. A Quadra Type-66 nicknamed 'Cthulhu' sat just outside the camps boundaries waiting for him, just in case. But he couldn't bring himself to leave, especially not her. Panam wasn't the type to keep chasing him forever, it wasn't fair to her.
"I remember." He answered. She frowned.
"No, I don't think you do." The Nomad leaned forward in her seat, resting her elbows on her knees. "You said you trusted me! That you respected me!"
"I do! Panam! You have to know that I do! I trust you with my life!" He begged from his seat.
"But not with your feelings! Or your fears!" She roared, standing to her feet and pacing. "And clearly you don't respect me enough to think I could deal with this rationally!" V was distraught, of course he did!
"Panam! That's not…"
"No, V! You don't get to talk!" She rounded on him. "You iced me out! Again! And after all that bullshit about getting married!"
"That wasn't bullshit!" he gasped, shocked she would say such a thing.
"Really V? Because these last few days you haven't been acting like you want to get married, like you want to be my husband." She may as well have struck him. The Nomad wasn't wrong, but it did hurt to hear. "So we've establish you don't trust or respect me, how can I think that you'd lo-"
"NO!" He bellowed. "You can be mad. You can yell at me, tell me my stupid gonk ass is a fucking stupid gonk ass, but never… Panam. You are my everything! I'd be dead in the dirt without you. I love you!" He declared it as if it were law. There was no V without Panam, he would've eaten a bullet on that roof if he didn't think that she would be waiting for him. Knowing Panam, that a family, was waiting for him on the other side of Mikoshi, was the main reason V had managed to push through like he did. The sheer need to see, feel and taste her was what kept him crawling through that sludge filled pipe.
"Well, you've been doing a really shitty job of showing it!" She yelled back. "Do you even want to be with me!?"
"Of course I do! Panam. I just figured.." he deflated and trailed off.
"What V? You just figured what?" She crossed her arms and glared at him from above.
"That you wouldn't want to sleep next to the man who got your father killed." V breathed quietly to his feet. Panams glared fiercely, but her eyes unwillingly filled with tears, making her curse loudly and stomp away from him. The mercenary watched dejectedly as she made her way back to her truck, for a moment he thought she would leave him there. Instead she punched an armored panel with another curse. Involuntarily his own eyes filled, when she hurt, he hurt.
"Panam…" He hurried after her. He pulled the grieving Nomad into his arms, she resisted and struggled, but he held fast. Slowly her resolve to fight him withered. Her arms wrapped around his middle and she buried her face into his shoulder. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." He held her close.
"I loved my dad." she whispered into his shirt. He pressed his cheek into the bun of dreads at the top of her head.
"I know you did."
"He was my best friend. My greatest advocate. Taught me everything I know about everything. I was devastated when he died." The Nomad closed her eyes and buried herself further into Vs arms.
"I know. I'm so sorry." He whispered.
"Stop it." Her head was shaking. He gently pulled her away from himself to look at her in confusion. She sniffled and rolled her eyes self-deprecatingly, she looked away embarrassed and wiped at her eyes. He kept his arms locked around her.
"Stop what?" He asked carefully.
"Apologising!" she poked his chest in annoyance. "You were as much a victim as my father. It was a Corpo plot to ensure we all remember our places as peons."
"But.. But.. Panam."
"No!" She shouted over him, slapping both her hands against his broad strong chest. "No one blames you V! No one! And you'd've already known that for this stupid fucking tribunal if you had just let me talk to you!"
"I'm sorry."
"What the hell did I just say!?" she growled angrily.
"No, Pan. I mean.. I.." He chuckled self-deprecating and pulled her closer still. "I'm sorry that I froze up, that I disappeared. I shouldn't have hidden from you. I was just.. I was scared, Panam. I finally had everything… And, of course! Of course my father had already sabotaged it. Before I had even found you."
"V-"
"I was terrified you would hate me." He confessed, pressing his forehead to hers. He lifted a hand from her waist, he cupped her face and gently wiped a stray tear away. Panam took a shaky breath. Her arms squeezed his middle tightly.
"Well I don't, even though I am beyond pissed at you V." She reached up to his chin and tilted his face so she could meet his eyes. "If you want to do this... Marriage, kids, everything. You can't run from me whenever things get scary."
"I know. I'm a fucking idiot."
"Yes, you are." She agreed seriously. "But you are capable of learning, when you want too anyway, I've seen it." The Nomad smiled teasingly and stroked her hand along his cheek.
"I want to Panam. I want everything with you. All of it. I will learn, fast." He leaned into her, pressing his lips easily against her palm.
"Everything?" she questioned. He backed them up against her truck so she was trapped between him and the metal warhorse.
"Everything. Good, bad. Triumphs, failures. Disagreements, celebrations." He slipped his hands to her arms and lifted them from his middle to his neck. She grinned at him as his hands then travelled downward to her hips and thighs. He encouraged her to hop into his arms. The Nomad sighed and wrapped her legs around his waist.
"I want that too. I want to know that you'll be there. Even when it's hard." She ran her hands through his hair, letting her nails scratch lightly at his scalp. He moaned.
"I want to be married to you, I want everyone to know you are my wife and I am your husband. I want us to make all sorts of babies together…" The mercenary rolled his body into hers, he felt her legs tighten around him.
"Now wait just a second." Her lips curved into a gentle smile. He buried his nose into her cleavage and busied himself tasting her skin. "Just how many babies are we talkin' here?"
"As many as we can make." He grunted back to her, making her laugh.
"Well I'd like to have you to myself for a while longer. Hence the contraceptive implant." She tugged on his hair tenderly, to get him to raise his eyes to her own. "I have warmed up to the idea of being married V, but.. Parenthood. I'll need some time to wrap my head around that."
"I think that you would make an amazing mother. But I don't want you to feel pressured, if you never want to have a baby I'll be okay with that." V reassured her easily. "I like kids, but I don't need my own. I can always go play Cops vs. Cyberpsycho with the kids in camp if I ever get the itch." After River had teased V about the possibility of becoming a daddy, the thought had always lingered in the back of his mind. Children were not exactly something he wanted to bring into the world when he had been living in NC, but then the Relic and Panam happened… Now, with the Aldecaldos and Panam, any children he had would be loved and adored, they would always have a home. The thought was a little appealing, but like she'd said before they had all the time in the world.
"Well.. Until then we can always practice." She suggested innocently.
"Practice…?"
"Making babies, V." The Nomad seductively wiggled her hips against his. His eyebrows raised in surprise and his lips settled into a wolfish grin. The mercenary ground their hips together and attacked her with a hungry kiss.
"Fuck… V."
"I love you Panam. I'm sorry I hurt you. I promise to be better. You're so good to me." He panted. He pinned her against the truck with his hips, slowly he ran one hand from her hips up along her abdomen and under her leather jacket to the strap around her neck. Quick fingers snapped the button free and exposed her throat. Gently he ran his fingers against the soft skin there, he thought about Paul. He glared.
"He didn't touch me V. You got him." As if reading his thoughts, the Nomad had immediately moved to sooth him. "He's gonna make life living hell for both of us, maybe all of us, for a long while, but.."
"I'd do it again." He rocked against her roughly making the Nomad throw her head back, lightly banging it on the window behind her. Her nails were digging into his shoulders and her legs were pulling him impossibly closer. "He's lucky that I didn't kill him." Adoringly his lips pressed light kisses from her shoulder, along her collarbone and her neck.
"I'm lucky he can't aim for shit. Oh, V." Her back arched against the door, her pelvis tilted and they both groaned. So, of course, because his timing is always so impeccable, Mitch called her. A slew of curses fell from her mouth and she considered ignoring it, but she knew Mitch would only call because he was about to show up. She stopped V, pointing to her holo and accepting the call (audio only). She dropped her legs from his waist, they were shaking and unsteady she realised, she had been so close. Goddammit Mitch.
"No, no no no no." V complained into her hair.
"What Mitch?" The flustered chieftess snapped.
"This is your 10 minute warning. I'm coming back to help with the canopy, we got lots to do back at camp. If there is any hanky panky going on, finish up 'cause I don't want to see it." The veteran ended the call without waiting for a reply.
"Fuck." she whimpered. In front of her V dropped to his knees and started unclipping the lower straps of her utility belt, then he reached for her jeans. "What are you doing?"
"10 minutes is plenty." The mercenary winked at her. He pulled her jeans down passed her ass and dove into her centre with total abandon. His hand pulled her underwear and bodysuit aside and he ran his tongue along her folds. Above him Panam jerked.
"Oh! Careful V… AhhHhh. Sensitive. Mmm." He attached his mouth to her, using his tongue to licked slow circles over her clit. One of Panams hands tangled itself in his hair, her hips began to rock against his mouth, her other hand slapped wildly against the truck looking for a handhold. "Shit!" His fingers slid along her lips, teasingly dipping inside her before drawing away again. "V!" She hissed in response. "Quickly!"
He flattened his tongue against her against her, allowing her hips to set the frantic pace whilst he finally slipped two fingers inside. The Nomad bit her lip to keep from crying out, V marvelled at how warm and wet she was, so sexy. The pace of her hips was near frantic now as she sought the friction needed for release. Inside of her he wiggled his fingers, finding the little spot that always drove her mad. Panams vision burst into stars, V felt her explode around his fingers and into his mouth. She felt as if her bones had turned to jelly, the only reason she remained on her feet was the truck behind her and V in front of her.
"Jesus." She moaned.
"Nah, just V." He waggled his eyebrows at her from down below and it was probably the sexiest thing she'd ever seen. She let out a strangled sigh as he began pressing kisses down her thighs. In the distance the roar of an engine could be heard, it was getting louder, closer. He pulled away and redressed her bottom half. He climbed back up her body letting her arms dangle lazily from his shoulders and kissed her lovingly.
"Gonk." She sighed into his lips.
"Your gonk." He agreed happily. She smiled brightly and kissed him again.
"My gonk." she whispered.
Later the evening V found himself seated outside the cantine with Carol and Mitch sharing a round of beers. His lady love had been called away by her chiefing duties, and the veterans had valiantly offered to keep him company and make sure he didn't run off and hide in his tent. Even if the tribunal had ruled in his favour and most of the other Nomads had brushed off his mistake, that was still a large amount of shame and guilt consuming his heart around the incident. Mitch had told him off for being gloomy twice already.
"So what's this I hear about wedding bells V?" Carol grinned at him as she took a swig of her drink.
"Whose wedding bells?" Cassidy asked as he, Teddy and Bobby joined the group, pulling up extra chairs and looking at Carol expectantly.
"Mitch!" V gasped.
"What?! Was it supposed to be a secret?" The older vet smiled goofily, clearly a few drinks in his system already.
"You and Panam!?" Bobby cried excitedly.
"No way!"
"Congratulations brother!"
"Whoa! Whoa! Lets.. I dunno keep it down." V glanced around nervously. "Panam and I have been discussing getting married. There's still the elders in.. at The Hub to deal with, and other logistics."
"Oh forget about the Elders V." Mitch told him.
"Bureaucratic, stone-aged old men if you ask me." Carol agreed heartily.
"Pfft. You wanna marry her boy?" Cassidy asked seriously. He leaned forward on his elbows across the table, eyebrows raised.
"More than anything." V responded honestly. Teddy and Carol smiled widely, Mitch cheered.
"Right on brother." Bobby clapped him on the back.
"Alright then." Cassidy pulled back and nodded approvingly.
Wow. So that's what it's like? Total acceptance. No qualms or reservations, Panams chosen family welcomed him with open arms. He smiled back hesitantly and took a long pull from his beer. Something behind him caught the groups attention, they all nodded in greeting. Slowly, two strong, warm, leather clad arms wrapped around his shoulders from behind. V smiled serenely, knowing there was no place in the world he would rather be than in her arms.
"Come on." She pressed a quick kiss to his cheek. "Saul has an announcement."
Together the group pushed through the throngs of people and gathered at the tailgate of Sauls truck. He stood inside the bed, arms raised and calling for attention.
"Aldecaldos!" The crowd still continued to whisper loudly amongst themselves.
"Hey! Your Chief is talking!" Panam bellowed. Immediately the crowd focused its attention back on the pair. The Nomad Chieftess looked over the crowd like a teacher would a classroom of rowdy students. "Go ahead Saul." She told him sweetly. The fellow chief rolled his eyes, but smiled.
"V?" He extended his hand to the merc.
"Huh? What? Me?"
"Yes you, go!" Panam nudged him gently. He accepted Sauls hand and allowed the older man to pull him into the truck bed with him.
"I.. What? What is going on?" He asked slightly panicked, not liking the attention.
"Alright V, it's a simple matter. We - all of us standing here- owe you, and it's a great debt." Saul spoke to him, but spread his arm out over the crowd. "But you are still an outsider, a mercenary from Night City, from what might as well be another world." The mercenary frowned, his eyes shot anxiously to Panam. She was smiling. "It's about time we fixed that."
"Damn right it is!" Carol called.
"A down right injustice, it is!" Teddy agreed.
"It needs fixing!" A different voice.
"You're going to be an Aldecaldo!" Saul told him. "Ready kid?"
"Fuck me Saul, nearly gave me a heart attack." V laughed nervously, he hand clutched at his heart jokingly. "Do your worst."
"You're an Aldecaldo V! One of us!" Saul gripped Vs arm and lifted it over their hands triumphantly. The crowd cheered. V felt like he was underwater, it was so overwhelming he could barely take a breath, people cheered as he joined their ranks. Panam stepped in front of the open tailgate, she carried a leather jacket emblazoned with the same burning skull that donned her back.
"Welcome to the family." She proudly passed him the jacket. V slipped it over his shoulders, vowing to never take it off.
"Don't worry, it's but a formality. You've been a de facto member of this family for a while now." Saul reassured him. "You've saved my rumpus, from what Bobby tells me you saved Jake and Mitch too. I won't even mention Panam."
"Go to Hell." She sassed back. "He's right though V." The two leaders switched spots, Saul leaping down and Panam hopping up. "Before you I was lost, my life in pieces. You smashed those pieces even smaller. But only then could I see the full picture." She took hold of his jacket and adjusted it on his frame.
"I...I.. Wow. Thank you all." He turned to the Aldecaldos. "I wear this jacket proudly! I will not let the Family down!" The crowd cheered and applauded. He turned to Panam, pulling her into his arms. "I won't let you down." He kissed her. He felt her arms come up and wrap around his neck, her tongue ghosted along his lower lip. He happily allowed her to deepen the kiss, not caring in the slightest that they were basically making out while on display.
"And I now pronounce you.." Mitch hollered drunkenly from the crowd. "Man and wife." Roars of laughter and loud cries of congratulations erupted from the crowd. Panam pulled away from V in shock.
"Mitch!" She leapt after the now running-for-his-life veteran and gave chase. V stood statuesque in the truck bed, arms still raised as if he was holding her, lips puckered comically. More laughter from the crowd.
"Alright! Alright!" Saul tried to settle the crowd. "Tonight we celebrate! But tomorrow we cross the border! Make sure you do what needs to be done and get some rest!"
Llevo soñando con tenerte, desde antes de conocerte.