Entry 10: Welcome Home
Summary: Angela is grateful to have Tony and Mona back home.
I never thought I'd miss my mother so much. She was gone for all of two weeks, and I missed her sitting at the breakfast table every morning and yelling throughout the office in blatant defiance of the intercom system every afternoon at work. I missed her humor and wisdom, and even the occasional venomous jab.
She seemed so excited about going to live with Uncle Cornelius that I didn't want to say or do anything to make her consider not going, but watching her pull out of the driveway brought more than a stray tear to my eye. And to think, a mere three years ago I panicked at Tony's suggestion that she move into the loft.
As though having Mother gone wasn't bad enough, Tony was gone too, though hardly very far. Still, his presence in the house was missed – by me and by the children. Sam may not have shown it, but she missed having her father around, and Jonathan's disappointment was heart wrenching. While we did have a fun time at the movie (a mother will do anything to spend quality time with her 10-year-old), it wasn't the same without Tony. And I missed hearing him move around when the house was quiet, and sitting on the couch with him after the kids went to bed. It was our time to unwind and relax, talking about our days and making arrangements for the next day.
After he moved to Mother's, I found myself leaving him notes to pick up this or that or reminding him of a late meeting or client dinner, all things that we would talk about in person at the end of a day. The house was just so quiet without Mother and Tony. A part of me felt like a single mother again, getting Sam and Jonathan ready for bed, checking homework and verifying schedules. Though Tony hardly slacked off in his work, it was just different. He wasn't here at night to take care of these things, and to be honest, I had gotten spoiled. Sure, the lunches were made and breakfast ready to go, but those are things a housekeeper does, and Tony is so much more than a housekeeper. I missed everything else that came along with our unique family. I missed the familiarity. The geographical separation made me so much more aware of our boundaries, and suddenly, the little intimacies that couldn't help but creep in when we were under one roof were much more obvious and even awkward.
And I know Tony missed us too. My excuse was so transparent that it's a wonder he didn't call me on it. "What if it had been a prowler?" indeed. I'm practically ashamed of myself. I hardly hired Tony in the first place as a bodyguard, and yet I was willing to resort to feigned weakness to bring him home. But it says a lot that that was all it took for him to give up his "wild" bachelor life, which according to Philly, more closely resembled the life and times of John Boy Walton than James Dean. And no sooner was the leopard print blanket and lava lamp out of the loft, and thankfully back in a box, than Mother was back home. She tried to act nonchalant about it, but she's barely left the house since coming back. She's home for dinner and stays late to visit, and in her usual Mona-like way, she's telling us exactly how much she missed us without saying a word.
So here we are, as though the past two weeks had never happened. Tony carried a sleeping Jonathan up to bed after the movie was over, then made a brief stop in the kitchen before returning with two glasses of a Pinot Grigio we bought a few weeks back. I told him the latest report from Sturdy Boy put them at the top of the market, and he asked if Tuesday night would be a good day to host Jonathan's Scout troop. We talked local politics since Joann's insurance-peddling husband is running for city council and then switched to books when Tony announced he'd finally finished "Sense and Sensibility." Did he know that's my favorite book? Finally, when midnight had come and gone, and the heady effects of the wine began to ease, making me aware of exactly how close we were sitting and how deep his eyes were penetrating mine, I knew it was time to call end to the blissful reunion. Having him back home was all it took for me to slide into a sleep more warm, deep, and comforting than any I had known in many a night.