Chapter 10

Indefensible

"I'm...I'm waiting for a verdict," Frost said heavily. Her features easily giving away her pensiveness and dread.

"What have you done?" FTR-416 asked.

"Nothing. This isn't about myself," Frost told him, "I have a customer, Oliver McQuack, who is being falsely accused of being a soldier against the Cogs."

"And he is not? What proof do you have?" FTR-416 inquired.

"He's a member of the Toon's press," Frost explained, "He's a photographer, a shutterbug if you will. He was captured while following other Toons into the facility, but he had no aggressive intent himself. I managed to get one Toon on the jury, but I doubt that will be enough to save him. Sir, I don't know what to do, and I fear for the safety of my frie- customer."

"If he entered with terrorist Toons, then he will be charged as an accessory at least," FTR-416 noted, "Does he have an attorney?"

"Of course not. He's a Toon. They don't believe in Lawbots. Honestly I don't know how they settle their differences. All I know is that Oliver is going to be imprisoned, which will likely kill him. Sir, I know I don't work for you, and you have no obligation toward me anymore, but...can you help me?"

The way in which Frost Byte stated her formal request caught FTR-416 off guard. He was used to her being as emotionless and professional as his other colleagues, but in this moment she seemed so fragile and sad. It reminded FTR of when she was small, and suddenly it was as if she was his new intern all over again. An allowance to buy office supplies wouldn't fix this sort of problem, however. What she needed was something that was very risky for anyone, especially a low-level wage slave like him and his employees.

"FTR-416!" DD-2831 suddenly shouted from across the room, "RJ-5252 is making noises again!"

"OF course he is," FTR-416 muttered to himself, and then out loud he said, "Frost Byte, you will follow me into examination room 21 to visit with RJ-5252. We will further discuss your problem once we are inside room 21."

Frost Byte didn't protest. She followed her former boss across the vast repair shop, but as she walked all she could think about was Patsy and Oliver. They had become more than customers to her. They were her friends, but she felt ill-equipped to be a friend to them. She'd never really had friends as a child, so she didn't know how such a relationship was supposed to work. All she knew was that she was likely doing it wrong.

Once the two of them entered the room she saw RJ-5252 sitting on an exam table while a Spin Doctor poked around in his exposed head. There were gears and cables surrounding RJ's CPU, and the Cold Caller was fully conscious as he was being worked on.

"Hi, Frost Byte!" RJ exclaimed as he waved to her, "BMG-597 is removing my imagination!"

"You have an imagination?" Frost asked curiously.

"Not for long!" RJ replied chipperly, "Soon I'll be as boring and efficient as everyone else! Isn't that great?"

"Yes. Does the procedure work on Toons?" Frost asked sardonically.

"It would be funny if it did," RJ commented, "I can already see a Cog poking around in your head while you- Oh no! I'm imagining something! Hurry up, doc bot!"

"I would be finished already if you didn't move your neck so much!" BMG-597 barked, and then with a calmer demeanor turned to Frost Byte, "Hello, intern. It's been a while since your last physical. I believe I was still an Ambulance Chaser when you came in."

"You were," Frost confirmed, "I have not been in to see you because I am no longer with the company. I went into business for myself."

"Did the VP approve that?" BMG-597 asked.

"We didn't tell him," DD-2831 replied conspiratorially, "She was never registered as a paid employee, so technically we don't have to report her loss in our files. Speaking of Frost Byte, how did you know RJ-5252 was coming in for surgery today?"

"I didn't," Frost Byte admitted.

"A Toon customer of Frost Byte's requires legal representation," FTR-416 informed them, "He is on trial as an accessory to HQ infiltration, however a case can be made that as a member of the press he had the legal right to enter the premises."

"Do you have anyone to make that case?" BMG-597 asked.

"No, sir," Frost Byte replied morosely, "He will likely be depressed in prison. I wish someone could help him. He might be a Toon, but he is also innocent. He doesn't deserve to be convicted in a trial without his peers or even a defense."

"Hm..." BMG-597 mulled over the situation for a moment, and then quickly came up with a solution, "FTR-416, do you understand the case as presented by Frost Byte?"

"I do," FTR-416 replied.

"Why are you asking him?" DD-2831 inquired suspiciously.

"Because I am busy with RJ-5252, and therefore will not leave this room," BMG replied, much to the confusion of everyone else, "I will not need my identification badge," He clarified, "So, I entrust it to you, FTR-416. We sound alike, so the Chief Justice will assume you are me. Make your case, and then return my badge to me."

"Really? Just like that?" FTR-416 asked.

"I owe you a favor," BMG-597 replied, "Consider it repayment in full."

"Wait! You would really use up a favor for Oliver?" Frost asked in disbelief.

"No," FTR replied bluntly, and Frost sagged, "I would use up a favor for you."

That statement surprised Frost Byte, and she could actually feel her Laff rising. It wasn't a silly kind of feeling however, but rather her heart felt warmer and more alive. She didn't quite understand this feeling, but perhaps it had something to do with how kind and generous her former boss was acting toward her.

"I will repay the favor someday, sir," Frost promised.

"No. Consider it a severance bonus," FTR-416 insisted.

FTR-416 then took the badge from the Spin Doctor and replaced his own badge with it. BMG-597 continued to work on RJ-5252, and FTR-416 walked out of the room with purposeful steps. Frost Byte followed him, wanting to see how well he would defend Oliver and also wanting to be there to offer advice in case he needed assistance.

Oliver McQuack knew he was a goner. He was strapped to a brown leather chair, and that chair was in a cage suspended from the middle of the room. He could see the massive courtroom full of dour Lawbots and official looking podiums. He had never seen a room so big in his life! He briefly wondered if the entire Toontown Central playground could fit inside. That didn't matter though. What mattered was that Oliver, a young Toon with a mere 21 Laff remaining, was trapped inside one of the most dangerous and soul-sucking Cog facilities this side of Cog Nation.

As Oliver looked around the room he caught a glimpse of the jury box. He expected to see mostly Cogs, but secretly hoped for some high level Toons to sneak their way in. What he saw instead was a sea of periwinkle blue and purple Lawbots...and a spot of hot pink and blue. It was Patsy! Patsy had managed to escape being caught, but had returned to try to help him. Oliver was touched, but also scared for his friend. What if she was captured just like him? Then they would both be saddened and imprisoned forever!

Oliver took a few deep breaths. He tried to calm himself, not wanting to show any semblance of fear or sadness to these mechanical monsters. He would be brave in the face of his own demise. No matter what happened, he would not timidly shrink into the abyss, but rather hurl himself into that chasm with reckless Toony abandon.

The large double doors behind the judge's bench opened, and inside rolled a very large intimidating looking Cog. It must have been 20 feet tall, rolling on treads with a tank style lower body that looked like an octagon shaped wooden desk. The Cog had light blue artificial skin, a white judge's wig, and a blindfold over its eyes. What worried Oliver however was the crotchety scowl the huge Cog wore. This crag-like colossus seemed like the very definition of Untoony.

"Hmmm, what's on the docket today? Aha, we have a Toon on trial!" The giant Cog intoned, "The charges are unlawful entry into Lawbot Headquarters and terrorism against Cog kind. The prosecution's case is strong. Where is the public defender?"

"Here, your honor," A robotic voice called out.

Oliver looked toward the entrance and saw a Telemarketer strolling into the room, its stride every bit as slow and methodical as every other Cog. Oliver was confused. He knew the Toon coalition was a lot to hope for, but...a Sellbot? Why was a Sellbot in the courtroom allegedly representing him? Oliver suspected that Cogs didn't play fair, but this was ridiculous. At least the humor of the situation would keep his Laff up a little longer.

"Very well," The Chief Justice spoke again, "BMG-597 will defend this Toon. Legal Eagle PNX-398 will serve as the prosecution. Prosecution, make your case against this Toon."

Meanwhile in the jury box, Patsy tried to listen to what the Legal Eagle was saying against Oliver. The words were lowering her Laff, and she felt fidgety in her seat. She was worried about Oliver, and at this point she was also worried about herself. If she couldn't think Toony thoughts then she would be saddened and be forced to teleport to The Brrrgh's playground. Then Oliver would be doomed for sure.

Another thing that was worrying Patsy was that she hadn't seen Frost Byte in over an hour. Was Frosty captured by Cogs? Saddened? Imprisoned like Oliver? Patsy wished she could check, but she had to stay and offer a dissenting voice to these Cogs that wanted to find Oliver guilty.

One thing that was bothering Patsy however was the Telemarketer on the floor with the Legal Eagle. Patsy couldn't claim to understand the inner workings of Cog society or anything, but she was sure that the HQs were for specific Cog types. This Telemarketer was a Sellbot and therefore didn't belong there. The term 'public defender' was also a new one to Patsy. Was he there to condemn Oliver or to help him? A Cog helping a Toon seemed absurd, but she supposed anything was possible. Not likely, but possible.

"This Toon willfully violated our headquarters to destroy our way of life!" The Legal Eagle continued his impassioned opening statement, "He was seen in the company of other known offenders, and has yet to even make a statement regarding his innocence. It is clear that he was attempting to create havoc within the hallowed walls of our illustrious HQ."

"Objection," FTR-416 addressed the Chief Justice in an even, almost quiet, voice, "According to the laws of Cog Nation and its subsidiaries, a defendant is presumed innocent until sufficient proof of guilt or defect is found within the defendant. Therefore, the Toon is under no obligation to make a statement regarding his innocence."

"Objection sustained," The Chief Justice ruled, "PNX-398, what is your evidence?"

"Association is my first string of evidence," The Legal Eagle replied, "My second piece of evidence consists of photographs confiscated from the accused upon his capture. He was clearly recording the battle for espionage purposes."

"Do you have a defense for this, BMG-597?" The Chief Justice inquired.

"Yes, your honor," FTR-416 nodded, "The identity of the accused is one Oliver McQuack. Occupation: newspaper photographer. The terrorism the Toons commit against our people is considered an important news story to the Toons. Therefore, according to the freedom of free enterprise law of page 4795-3 paragraph F, located in the Cog Code of Business Ethics and Conduct, Oliver McQuack was well within his rights as a journalist to be on the premises during a news-making event. Furthermore, no witnesses have come forward saying that Oliver McQuack personally attacked a Lawbot. Therefore..."

Patsy tried to keep up with what the Telemarketer was saying, but his droning redundant words and monotone delivery made it very difficult. After a while he just sounded like white noise, and trying to pay closer attention just led to her mind wandering to Toonier things in an effort to save her Laff and her sanity.

One thing Patsy picked up on however was that the Telemarketer was actually trying. He wasn't allowing the Legal Eagle to mow over him and convict Oliver without a fair trial. Patsy never thought she would root for a Cog to do anything, but she was desperately hoping that this strange Telemarketer could save her best friend.

Meanwhile, from the hallway leading to the courtroom, Frost Byte and DD-2831 stood together and watched as FTR-416 practiced law without a license in an effort to save a Toon.

"You could have stayed with RJ-5252," Frost told DD.

"And miss this? No way!" DD-2831 whispered too loudly in the quiet hallway, "My eyes are recording this on tape. I'll have blackmail material on my boss! Do you know how many Cogs would sever their own arms for this opportunity? Thanks, kid."

"You really are hopeless, DD," Frost Byte smiled wanly as she shook her head, "I just hope this works. Oliver is a good friend to me. He taught me how to fish."

"Yeah, RJ-5252 speaks often about the fish you gave him," DD-2831 stated, "I don't see the appeal of pets, but RJ-5252 always has been a little weird."

The trial didn't last as long as most Cog trials against Toons normally would. FTR-416 had an answer for every piece of evidence against his client, and he never got tired of due process, unlike most Toons. At this moment FTR-417 almost wished he had been built as a Lawbot. Then again their first form was Bottom Feeder, so he decided his actual life was better after all.

When the Chief Justice turned to the jury, it was a surprise to most of the Lawbots when they returned with a 10-2 majority not guilty verdict. Among Lawbots one only needed a majority to win, so Oliver McQuack was free to go home.

Patsy cheered loudly, and two Big Wigs helped Oliver out of the chair and cage. It felt surreal to have Cogs handle him without saddening him, and even stranger that his life was saved by a low level Sellbot. Why would a Cog actually help him? Was it a sense of duty? Programming? Did he want to sell something? At this point Oliver would probably buy it, whatever it was. He was just happy to be free.

"Ollie!" Patsy cried out as she ran toward him.

Oliver prepared himself for the bear hug he knew was coming, but still partially fell over as she glomped him! Patsy was crying, but her Laff wasn't going down. It was an odd sensation, this intense relief for her friend. Oliver hugged her back, happy that all worked out for them. The Sellbot didn't stick around, but turned away and went through the big double doors to the hallway.

When FTR-416 left the courtroom he saw that Frost Byte and DD-2831 were waiting for him. DD-2831 smiled as wide as a Loan Shark, and Frost Byte had the look of someone who had been freed from under a heavy piece of equipment. The relief was palpable, and it made FTR-416 feel a little better about what he did.

"Your customers are waiting for you," FTR-416 told her.

Frost was disappointed, but understood. She couldn't afford to be caught associating with Cogs by Toons, especially Toons that were members of the press. She nodded in a professional way to her former associates, and then went into the courtroom to meet up with her friends. She wished she could say more, wished she could do more to show how much she appreciated FTR's risk on her behalf. She couldn't though, so she would have to settle for hoping that they would get away without being detected with a borrowed ID badge.

Frost Byte, Patsy, and Oliver McQuack walked slowly to get back to Toontown Central. They could have taken a portal to go home, but Oliver was so happy to be free that he wanted to go fishing. Frost, rarely having any time to fish, agreed to this spontaneous plan.

The Brrrgh was the most popular spot in Toontown to fish due to its small pond and variety of fish, which meant it was too crowded to fish in that evening. They could have waited, but walking seemed a better use of their freedom, so they decided to go to Minnie's Melodyland playground to fish.

When they walked down the streets of Melodyland, the first thing Frost Byte noticed was how loud the area was. Music of all different kinds played, but rather than being a beautiful expression of harmony and emotion, it was instead a cacophonic display of disorganized notes. There were tubas, cymbals, harps, and other things that just didn't go together.

Why would anyone want to live here? Frost wondered.

Apparently not that many Toons did live in Melodyland, if the playground was anything to go by. The place was deserted, from its balcony stairs to its HQ down in the pit-like city square below. The pond, which lay proudly in the center of town near the HQ, was a perfectly circular shape and surrounded by spinning piano keys. This didn't seem like the most practical place to fish, since the music might disturb the aquatic life below.

"Ooh, I love this pond!" Patsy gushed, "If you run around in the circle the notes will play!"

Patsy demonstrated by doing just that, and while the oddly designed keyboard didn't sound bad, just running around on it didn't exactly make a song. Patsy giggled in delight at her own antics, and Frost assumed it was just another Toony thing she didn't understand.

Oliver pulled his fishing pole out of his portal, and Frost realized she sold all of her fishing poles to that guy in Donald's Dock. Seeing her befuddled look, Oliver took the hint and handed her one of his fishing poles.

The trio then sat down to fish, and even here Frost could hear the faint sounds of the music that played in the city streets. Back at Sellbot HQ Frost Byte had been discouraged from exploring any sort of musical interests. Cogs thought music was a waste of time and money, though she heard that Big Cheeses were allowed to listen to music because they were powerful. Frost liked music though. She couldn't help it. She was a Toon, and Toons couldn't help but feel something stir within their hearts when they heard music. Still, the mismatched songs competing against each other in this city wasn't exactly Frost Byte's idea of a harmonious orchestra.

"Our story is going to be so great!" Patsy told the others, "I'm already coming up with ideas. Brave Toon escapes Lawbot HQ! Is that a good headline, or should it have every word start with the same letter? Maybe, Lawbots Licked Like Lollipops by Lucky Duck! Huh?"

"Oliver didn't do anything except get caught," Frost pointed out, "Besides, that story doesn't benefit anyone."

"What do you mean?" Patsy asked, "When Toons read feel-good stories it helps their Laff. Oliver's escape is good news, so we should share it with the world!"

"But it's impractical," Frost argued, "Why not post an article listing the laws that helped free Oliver? You know, just in case it happens again. Maybe some helpful tips on how to approach Lawbots, or a story that explains why Toons shouldn't enter Lawbot HQ. Something like that."

"But those all sound depressing," Patsy replied uncertainly, "News For The Amused is all about stories that uplift and encourage Toons. Nobody wants to read about laws and danger. They want to read stories where everybody turns out okay in the end, and the bad guys don't get away with doing bad stuff."

"But that's not really what's going on," Frost protested, "Every day Toons lose more ground to the Cogs, and your very culture is holding you back from actually doing anything permanent about it. Being informed isn't the same thing as being depressed. Knowledge can only help you readers."

"Frost, just stop," Oliver interjected firmly, "Our paper gives Toons all the information they need, and makes them feel good too. We don't withhold information, but we don't tell our readers things they can't handle either. The truth is I got out of there without being saddened. The truth is everything is fine. That's what people want to know. They want to know that they can go through adversity and be okay. Isn't that what you would want too?"

"You notice I don't subscribe to your paper, right?" Frost Byte replied bitingly, "So no, that's not what I want. Yes, the funny pages is my favorite part. I'm not a monster. Still though, why not teach your readers more about what they're really getting into should they be caught by the Lawbots?"

"Most Toons won't be though," Patsy told her, "Only the most highly skilled fighters would dare go in there. We only did it because there was a story, and it's our job. Don't worry about it, Frosty. I'll write a great story about what happened, and then show it to you when it comes out. You can also go home, and make the best candy in Toontown Central. We're all okay, right?"

Frost felt like this discussion didn't solve anything, but nonetheless she nodded and stuck another jellybean on her fishing pole, hoping to catch something this time. She understood what Patsy was saying though. They were newspaper reporters, and she was a candy chef. She wasn't qualified to tell them how to run their business. While she knew that was true, she still wondered if their method of soft journalism was the best thing for Toontown. It could be, given how sensitive everyone was to being saddened. Then again, that lack of understanding could also be holding them back in their war to reclaim their home.

Realizing she didn't feel like fishing anymore, Frost brought in her fishing line and took back her jellybean.

"What are you doing, Frost?" Oliver asked.

"I'm going home. You guys can stay here if you like. This awful music is giving me a headache."

"I didn't say anything to offend you, did I?" Patsy asked worriedly.

"No, not really," Frost replied diplomatically, "I'm just tired. Congratulations on your eventual story. The shop will be open tomorrow as always."

With that Frost Byte left them and started the journey home. Lurking behind the HQ building however, there was a shadowy figure that observed the Toons as they fished. When the figure saw that Frost Byte was leaving the group, it took the opportunity to follow the blue deer through the tunnel to Alto Avenue. Frost Byte was unaware that she was being followed, and her friends were unaware that anyone else had been there at all. They just calmly fished, not realizing that they should not have left their friend alone.