Chapter 12

"We're all falling and

We need a place to hide

A safe place somewhere in the woods

We can start the fire"

The Woods - Hollow Coves

"Um… Hi. My name is Tessa Cameron. I'm calling about the E. Mavelock Scholarship? I know that the site said that they would send out letters to the winners, but I was wondering if I could just check to see if I received it or not?"

Surely, this was when she'd be told she had been one of the lucky ones to win the scholarship?

The man on the other end asked for a moment before the phone went on hold. Tessa felt her palms begin to sweat a little. She regripped the phone.

How long had she been on hold? It had felt like forever. That could be a good sign, right?

"Ms. Cameron."

"Yes." Her breath caught.

"I regret to inform you that you did not receive a scholarship."

She should have given up after that. It was already March at that point. She still had almost a thousand dollars left to save. But she spent more time trying to find any loose end jobs. She broke down and resorted to begging her parents, her grandparents, any relative for even a loan that she could payback. But she received more polite smiles and pity than the money.

"Tessa, you know we would do this for you if we could." Her father had told her. She had immediately felt guilty after asking. She knew they didn't have the extra money to help. They didn't even have enough to fix the roof.

She should have given up, but even when the due date was only days away, she still had a part of her hoping for the impossible. Whether the program called her telling her she had received the scholarship after all or that the tribe would surprise her with the rest of the money that she needed.

In the end, that hope was futile.

There wasn't enough. Tessa had her earnings spread out on her bed. She hadn't even made half the money she needed. She watched the clock on her bedside table until it was too late. 12:00.

She couldn't cry. Not here. The walls were too thin for a private breakdown. Her mouth trembled to stay shut; the corners of her eyes stung. Don't. Please don't.

The front door opened, shaking the wall for a moment. Immediately, she squeezed her eyes shut and tried to take deeper breaths. Why hadn't she closed her bedroom door? His footsteps echoed faintly until he stopped in front of her room.

"Ah. Today was the deadline."

"I don't want to hear it." She snapped before Jared had a chance to say anything else.

Of course, he went on.

"Do you know what the really sad part of this all is?" His voice was mockingly pleasant.

Tessa snapped open her eyes and scrambled off her bed. She glared at him, murder in her eyes. He only laughed and continued.

"Jonathan's parents are loaded. I bet you could have convinced him to give you the money if you weren't so hellbent on pretending he doesn't exist."

Her jaw clenched so tight that her teeth squeaked.

"Too bad." Jared shrugged. "Better luck next year?"

"Fuck you, Jared!" She meant to shoulder past him, but he didn't budge. White-hot anger burned in her chest, and she shoved at him.

"Move!" She hissed.

He smirked and took a step back.

Tessa stormed down the hallway and out the front door. She began to run, and she didn't stop.

Well, Tessa thought bitterly. At least she knew she wouldn't turn into a werewolf. If that blaze of anger hadn't triggered the change, she doubted anything could. Her arms hugged her knees to her chest. She hadn't exactly been in the right frame of mind to consider the weather when running out of the house, but she couldn't go back now.

Her eyes were hot with tears. Sometime between running from the streets to the clifftops, she had started crying. She was far enough away from the edge to fall. She wasn't that stupid at least. The clouds were thin, and a lopsided uneven moon glowed through them. She focused on finding the horizon between the sky and the sea. The waves lapped at the rocks below. Tessa almost wished for a storm that she could scream at, but of course, the weather was calm. Her crushed dreams weren't that important to Mother Nature apparently. The rest of the world couldn't care less about her life. Especially Jared. She hadn't expected him to care but to outright mock her? She felt the anger stir beneath the hurt.

A new spout of tears warmed her cheeks. Being so high up, she didn't even have the dignity to blame it on the ocean spray. Her eyes strained to find the invisible horizon again.

People were going to expect her to just accept it. Her parents had been subtly warning her that she probably wouldn't get to escape La Push this summer. Jared had outright told her to give up for months. Her friends always rolled their eyes whenever she'd brought up New York.

Tomorrow, they would offer up their weak apologies before moving on to a different topic. Just like that, Tessa doesn't matter. She ripped the grass around her.

Leaves rustled behind her. She twisted her back to face the woods. The shadows were too thick to see through. It was probably just an animal. Some bird or something. Maybe a deer. Or it was one of them. Had Jared followed her after all? She stood up, grabbing a rock.

"Get out of here!" She screamed throwing her weapon into the woods. She heard it hit the ground. The rustling noise retreated slowly.

She plopped back down and went back to murdering the grass.

"Are you okay?"

Jonathan sat down next to her. Tessa glared out at the ocean.

"Go away."

"So that's a no…"

"Why are you here?" She asked. "Didn't you say you would leave me alone?"

"Well, I'm pretty sure the agreement was that the woods were my side." He laughed at his joke.

"Jonathan, look, I'm not in the mood, and I just want to be left alone."

He sighed. "Um. Well, I'd prefer to stay."

She finally turned toward him. "You promised to leave me alone. Aren't you supposed to do whatever I tell you?"

He sat with his arms resting gently on his knees. The only thing he wore was a pair of shorts–the signature werewolf look apparently. Even his feet were bare, though she couldn't say much as she wasn't wearing shoes either.

"Well, I have a feeling you'd be upset whether I was here or not, and it's not really a good idea for you, or really anyone, to be alone in the woods right now. Uh, there was a recent incident. With a vampire."

"Wait, what?" Tessa's glare dropped.

"I mean, it was a couple of weeks ago, and I don't think he'll be back, but still. A vampire sniffing around the reservation? Nothing's a better reminder to keep the normal people out of the woods, I guess."

"Why didn't anyone tell me? Did anyone get hurt?" She couldn't recall hearing about a missing person.

"No one got hurt, and he allegedly promised not to come back." Jonathan scoffed.

"You didn't kill it? I thought that's what you guys did?"

"We will next time."

The promise didn't do much to assure her. She hadn't realized the danger that had been so close.

"Are you cold?" Jonathan asked.

She was trembling. The air felt like it dropped a few degrees in temperature.

"I'm fine." She snapped. "So, what? You just happened to realize I was out at midnight?"

"Not my fault you decided to have a breakdown out here while I was patrolling." He retorted.

She pressed her lips into a thin line. He was much more relaxed than the last time they had met. There wasn't such a guarded expression on his face, and he wasn't trying to filter his words as much either. Finding a crying woman in the woods broke down such reservations apparently.

"Do you have to be so close to me?"

There it was. A falter in his confidence. His arms slid off his knees and crossed over his stomach. A mean pleasure quickly surged up in her chest before guilt quickly dashed it back down.

"Would you rather I let you know I'm here or just watch silently from the woods?" He finally asked.

"Hate to break it to you, but you aren't that quiet. I heard you."

"Your aim is shit, by the way."

"Deflecting your lack of stealth skills by insulting me? How un-soulmate of you." She said dryly.

"Oh, so you admit it then?"

She went quiet again. Was that all this was about? Trying to butter her up and convince her they belonged together?

"Sorry." He muttered quickly.

Tessa sighed and gathered her murdered grass into piles. Was this guilt that she felt even her own? How much had this imprint changed her? The legends didn't say if the imprint's mind is warped to accept the wolf or not.

Maybe she was overthinking everything. She'd heard that often enough from others. She didn't feel like she was being brainwashed, but how would she even know?

She pressed her hands against her temples.

This wasn't supposed to happen. She was supposed to get out of here in a couple of months.

"This sucks." She tried to simply state it, to hold back all the emotions tied to it, but of course, her voice broke, and she felt fresh tears. She rubbed her eyes on her sleeve as if Jonathan hadn't already seen her crying.

"I just wanted to leave. I wanted to get out of all this. Now I'm stuck."

His hand began to reach out to her, but he paused and retreated.

She grabbed the piles of grass blades and threw them harmlessly toward the ocean.

"Are you trying to think of the best thing to say to me? To make it all better?" She spat.

For a long moment, he didn't speak, but he didn't break eye contact with her either.

"I don't think there's anything I can do to make all of your problems disappear."

"Stop." Her hands curled into fists. "Stop trying to say all the right things."

He lightly snorted and shook his head.

"Say it." She demanded. "Say what you really think. I'm pathetic, aren't I? I'm delusional?"

He stared at her and something in his eyes snapped.

"Do you realize what you're saying to me? 'this sucks'? That's my life, Tessa. Do you think I wanted to be a wolf? Do you even know…" he paused and took in a heavy breath. "You have no idea how stuck I am. At least you don't have to worry about controlling your every move so you don't hurt someone. At least you don't have an ancestral obligation to protect a place you never called home from fucking vampires. If you're pathetic, then what am I supposed to be?"

He stopped short and turned his head away.

She still caught the glistening in his eyes.

So, she wasn't the only one struggling tonight either.

"Hey, you already caught me crying. No need for those kind of reservations here," she said softly.

He turned back to her and gave her a shaky smile. "It's not like privacy is a thing for me. The others will know soon enough."

"Sorry you have to put up with my brother." She muttered.

"Hm. Pretty sure he said that to me about you."

"Of course he did."

She wished that she were strong enough to hurt Jared. To at least push him out of her way when she felt like it.

"He's kind of a dick sometimes." Jonathan admitted.

"Kind of?" Tessa raised an eyebrow.

"I may have threatened to break his nose once or twice."

Her hand flew up to her mouth as she laughed. "Why?"

"I don't like someone gloating at my expense. Or yours."

Tessa pointed her thumb over her shoulder. "Want to go break his nose now? I can assure you that he was gloating at our expenses just a bit ago." She turned her head and death glared at the shadowy forest as if she could see Jared.

"That's why you were crying."

"No." She said automatically. He raised his eyebrows.

"I was crying because I didn't have enough money to go to an early college program in New York, and the deadline was today. Jared was just there to make sure it stung."

Jonathan didn't say anything.

Jared's taunting voice echoed in her mind.

"Jonathan's parents are loaded. I bet you could have convinced him to give you the money if you weren't so hellbent on pretending he doesn't exist."

Would he have actually given her money?

It couldn't have been that easy.

Jared was probably just exaggerating to rub it in.

"I'm sorry," he said.

She had been prepared for the pity from everyone, but Jonathan was genuine. Those two words meant little, yet he seemed to share some of her sorrow.

"I guess I'll have to get over it." She tried to sound casual.

"You and me both." He nodded.

She suddenly realized how drained she felt. After all the emotions, she was left with a reminder that she hadn't brought a jacket through the chilled air. How late was it? One in the morning? She closed her eyes and rested her head on her knees.

"I should probably go home."

"Would you mind if I walked with you?" Jonathan asked.

"Are you going to follow me anyway if I say no?"

"No. I would respect your decision and make one of the others make sure you get home safely."

She rolled her eyes at him. "Right. Come on, Jonathan."

She pushed herself up from the ground and gave one last look at the ocean before turning back to the woods.

He kept enough of a distance, so they weren't walking too close together. No chance of him "accidentally" bumping his hand into hers. She appreciated that.

When they arrived at her dark house, she really hoped that Jared would have gone to sleep by now. Or even better, run off to Kim's.

"Are you still up for breaking Jared's nose?" She asked.

Jonathan tilted his head to the side. "I would if he were still here."

"Damn." She muttered. She smiled a bit, feeling more relaxed as she approached the front door.

"Hey, Tessa?" Jonathan said as she touched the doorknob.

"Hm?"

"You should still go somewhere even for a few days. Seattle's pretty fun. It's not New York, but if you want to leave La Push, then you should do it."

She tried to think about spending the money she'd been so desperate to save. It felt weird. Hollow. But if she were to go on a road trip or something, maybe it wouldn't be so bad.

"Yeah, I'll think about it."

"Good night." He smiled softly.

"Good morning." She corrected him before slipping inside.

Tessa felt her way back to her bedroom. She paused and stared at the money she'd left on her bed. She chewed on her bottom lip and finally moved forward and collected it all. Almost six hundred dollars.

How much gas money would it take to get out of the peninsula?