Phase-10: Tangled Thoughts
Athrun and Seren returned to their hotel. It was still within the military base though. Chacha had also left his owner's pocket to go on her shoulder. As soon as they passed the door, a female voice cheerfully called their names. Waiting in the lobby was the fake Lacus who again ran towards Athrun. And again, Ledford protected her promised and intercepted the attacker that she hugged.
"Sorry, did you wait for us? Errr..." She grinned. The impersonator stammered at first, a little surprised, and a bit disturbed, frustrated, ruffled... annoyed that Seren kept getting in her way. But she hid those feelings and in a low voice introduced herself as Meer Campbell. She also asked them to call her Lacus in public and winked at Athrun who sighed irritatedly. As he walked past the girls, Meer managed to lock one of her arms with his left arm, though her other arm was still in Seren's grip.
"Hey, you haven't eaten yet, right? You haven't, right? Let's eat together!" The idol offered, dragging the two away. Zala weakly protested. "Athrun is Lacus' fiancé, right?" She insisted.
"Um, no, I'm no longer..." He tried again.
"Let's accept her invitation." Seren surprised her boyfriend. "We can use this opportunity to have a good talk and make a few things clear." She smiled... somewhat sinisterly.
The songstress managed to get a table away from the people for only the three of them, and was now studying the menu and asking Athrun if he preferred meat or fish. She didn't get an answer though, because the Orb Coordinators were studying her. That face and hair... it was really the same as Lacus'... that Lacus who was so precious to them and had supported them so many times. And her voice was so similar too, although Meer's was more shrilly, energetic. Lacus had strength and depth of character, poise and confidence, and it could be felt through her voice. And Seren felt none of that from Meer's voice. At least, now that she was being herself.
"Oh, by the way did you see my performance today? How was it? Was I like her?" Meer inquired excitedly, and hung her head dejectedly when the two looked away and didn't answer. "So it was no good?"
"Ah... no... that's not what I meant. You looked just like her. You were almost identical." Athrun said.
"Eh? Really? Yay I'm so glad! Thank goodness! For Athrun to say that to me, I'm so happy!" Meer squealed like a child, hugging the menu against her chest and moving about. When she was natural, she really behaved like some shallow groupie, and that conduct caused the boy to heave a sigh.
"That was indeed a superb performance." Seren smiled faintly but sincerely. She too had mixed emotions about this. But that sincerity reached the singer. "However, I would advise against such skin-tight, revealing clothes and that flirtatiouness. If you're a fan, you should know. Lacus is always calm, proper, and steady. So you should keep your distance and behave. And you shouldn't consider 'Athrun Zala' to be part of a set that goes with 'Lacus Clyne'. He's not an accessory but his own person, with his own will and feelings. On that note, there is something you should know about Athrun and me." The lovers looked at each other and raised their hands, showing their engagement rings.
"In the last war, my engagement to Lacus was cancelled, although it wasn't made public. I am with Seren. She's the one I love. She's the one I chose myself, and intend to marry." Zala spoke firmly, shocking Meer. The female diplomat observed her. As surmised, that girl seemed to have really idealized Athrun as the handsome ace pilot/knight and regarded him as part of a matched set, without considering HIS will and feelings at all. When Seren had first met the real Lacus aboard the Archangel, she had thought of her as a clueless airhead, and it was only after talking at length that she found out how Lacus really was. Flay started as a frivolous doll, became a revenge-seeking vamp... and Seren would have liked to see how she had changed after her time in ZAFT, and maybe then, they could have become real friends. Was that girl, Meer Campbell, really just a superficial fangirl? She had to learn more and not stop at her first impression like she used to.
"I know from experience that lies have a strong tendency to come bite you in the back, that's why I make a point to avoid them as much as possible. So won't you tell us what made you do this?" Ledford inquired earnestly.
"The truth is, I've always been a great fan of Lacus. I love her songs and often sang them. Since then people have told me that our voices are similar. And suddenly one day, I was called in by the Chairman."
"So that's how you started doing this?"
"Yes! He told me that he needed my strengths, for the PLANTs' sake. That's why..." The fake Lacus smiled innocently.
"It's not yours. It's Lacus' strength that's needed." Athrun, frowning, reminded her. He and Seren, had been told the same things by the same person... They were alike. Ledford had noticed the same. What the Chairman needed were Lacus' influence, and Athrun's and Seren's abilities as top-class mobile suit pilots. Meer, and them... were they just useless as they were?
"That's true." Meer admitted softly, sadly, gazing wistfully out the window. "But for now... No, I know it's not just right now... Lacus-san is always needed by everyone. She's strong, beautiful, and kind. Meer is not really needed by anyone, so... So I don't mind even if it's only for the time being!" She recovered her optimism. "As long as I can help the Chairman and the people in stead of Lacus-san who is currently away, then I'm happy! And I'm really happy to have met you, Athrun! You know all kinds of things about Lacus-san, right? And Seren, you said you're her friend, and since you're both girls, she must confide in you, right? If so, please tell me! What is she normally like? Or what kind of things does she like? And... um... what does she dislike? What is she good at? There are so many other things!"
"But you know, even if you take on her appearance, name, and voice, and try to mimic her, inside, you will still and always be Meer Campbell. You have your own personality that is different from hers. Even if you do your best to impersonate her, your true self will leak out." Seren spoke gently, and was gazing straight at her, strongly hoping that she would understand.
"I know... I know already... but this is all I can do... And if there's something I can do, then I want to do it!" Meer replied resolutely. Seren recoiled slightly. Those words resonated with her. And in both her and Athrun's heart, voices and words echoed.
"You have the power, so just do what you can."
"The name of a thing is an indicator to its existence. Then what if that name is not real?"
"I believe we're no longer in a position where our swords can simply stay on display."
"And we were just talking about you, Athrun Zala."
"It's certainly very unreasonable. Do you seriously think I would authorize civilians from another country to pilot our units?"
"Always being at someone's side isn't the only way to help them. That is why you've come here, right?"
"Oh, and Alex-kun, we're very grateful for your services. We thank you for protecting our princesses during this time."
"How long until we can no longer keep our swords on display? Depending on how the situation will develop, how will the Orb government react? What can you accomplish in your current position, and with your current power?"
"Will you also be returning to Orb? Why is that? What do you do there?"
In frustration, Athrun slammed his glass of wine on the table, scaring the idol. His lover glanced at him. Conflict had never disappeared... out there, and inside them... They thought about those gundams, the Savior and the Fortuna, and the Chairman's words "But what you can do, what you wish to do... these are things nobody knows better than you."
Djibril was sweeping with his arm everything that was on the table and the lintel of the fireplace, scattering papers, breaking glass and wine bottles, knocking the bucket of ice... out of anger and frustration of course, while listening to the jeering of his fellow LOGOS members... Declaring war, dashing out in high spirits, and quickly retreat after being punched in the face just once... Was the scenario he had written some comedy? Still, what could be that new ZAFT weapon that had so perfectly wiped them out? Surely that kid from the Atlantic Federation must not be so confident now. The troops sent to destroy the ZAFT forces' bases on Earth were still waiting for further orders. If he lowered that fist he had so eagerly raised and decided to run, that'd make him the laughingstock of the world... What to do now? Who should they hold responsible..., him, Djibril?
"That's absolutely ridiculous! This is just one more reason to win this war! They have a weapon that erased our nuclear forces in an instant! With monsters living in the sky with that thing, how can we possibly feel safe?! We'll keep fighting. We'll go back to our original plan and... no, we'll come up with a better plan. And this time, we'll crush them and take away their power completely!" The young LOGOS leader declaimed, grinding his teeth, and seething with rage.
The PLANTs Supreme Council members clapped their hands. Chairman Durandal stood up.
"It's unanimous. The PLANTs Supreme Council hereby accepts the proposal presented by the National Defense Committee." He declared. There were murmurs of appreciation. The Chairman of the National Defense Committee sat back down. "However, I must remind you that this shall be exercised for self-defense purposes only. Should we allow emotions to run out of control and get the better of us, we would trigger more disasters like during the previous war. I only hope that this time, the weapons we hold in our hands will be used to end all battles."
"No way! No way! No way! You can't be serious!" Cagalli slammed her hands on the table. As always, she was in a heated meeting... or rather argument with the other ministers. She was the only one getting so heated up though. "Say all you want but I can't allow our nation to enter into an agreement with such an Alliance! You saw with your own eyes what the Atlantic Federation did! They forced through a declaration of war and staged a nuclear attack! How can we even consider a security treaty with them?! Right now it's the Atlantic Federation that is the biggest threat to the world's safety! Why should we join forces with them?!" She bellowed.
"Will you please stop your childish complaints?" Yuna Roma Seiran stood up, speaking rather harshly, although calmly, and shocking Cagalli, but actually voicing everyone's thoughts. "You want to know why? Then I will tell you why. That's because it's the kind of nation they are, Representative." He answered bluntly. His father and another minister nodded approvingly. "You're quite right that the Atlantic Federation is aggressive. Pardon me for saying this, but we already know that without having you tell us. But, so what? What do you suggest Orb do from this point on? Will you turn your back on this alliance, decide against joining forces with the Earth's nations? Will you call for your friends in the faraway PLANTs, and make Orb a nation independent from all others on this planet?"
"No!"
"Are you saying we'll be fine as long as our nation remains peaceful and safe while ignoring the hard-hit nations crying for help?"
"No!"
"Then what do you suggest we do?" Yuna insisted, causing his fiancée to recoil.
"Orb will... Orb will take the neutral, independent path it has always taken..." She stammered.
"So you'll burn this nation again, like Lord Uzumi did?" Representative Mashima intervened. Deeply stung, Cagalli looked down, recalling the war. Her country being bombed, her comrades and people dying to defend it, the explosion of the mass driver and military facilities in which her father died... and she recalled Shinn's hateful eyes... This... couldn't happen again! The girl strongly denied having said that. Yuna smiled.
"But given our situation, it is very likely that things will degenerate to that again. Representative, we all feel the same way about wanting peace and security in our nation." The Prime Minister stood up too. "That's precisely why I suggest we join this alliance. The Atlantic Federation isn't demanding anything from Orb at this time. But if we stay on this course, what do you think will happen?" Unato circled the table and walked up to Cagalli. "Why can't you look at this alliance as an opportunity to remain a nation? I'm sure you can see the potentially great danger in being stubborn, making an unnecessary enemy, and eventually facing that powerful nation in battle."
"Then you're saying that we should cast off half our population in order to become the Atlantic Federation's dog? You're saying that it's alright to entirely destroy the PLANTS and help the Atlantic Federation annihilate all Coordinators? Because you know that's necessarily going to happen if we go through this Alliance. Orb will not invade another nation, will not allow another nation to invade it, and will not intervene in the conflicts of other nations. Orb will not discriminate against Coordinators. It is the belief in that creed that made Orb into the country it is. If we forsake it, we will lose our individuality, we'll lose that singularity that made us into the influential nation we are now... and we'll lose half of our citizens! And without their input, we'll lose our strength! Even if they don't ask anything of us now, if we enter this alliance, we'll have to fight against ZAFT. You can't expect this country to be the only one to sit back while the others are fighting. Do you truly only care about yourselves? Orb should not side the Earth Alliance to destroy the PLANTs, nor should it side with the PLANTs. Homes can be rebuilt. But lives lost in a war can never return! You're going to split this world in two sides that can only destroy each other. What Orb should be doing now is to find a diplomatic solution and to rein in the Earth Alliance so it doesn't turn into an all out war! Orb should be the vanguard of the third party!"
"Rayner..." Cagalli whispered, relieved, smiling weakly. She still had someone on her side.
"Representative Ledford! I can understand why you're so desperate to court favor with her, but this isn't the place for that. As a Representative, we need you to be objective and responsible. It is already too late. The war has been declared. Please don't forget that if we don't do anything, it is the whole country that will go up in flames. It is not just a fraction of our population but the whole citizenry that would suffer the consequences of this decision." Yuna, from his tone, was blatantly accusing his rival of forgetting his responsibilities for the sake of making a move on his fiancée.
"Becoming part of the Alliance means becoming an enemy of the PLANTs, and thus another of their target. Our safety is not guaranteed either way. If we ally ourselves with the Atlantic Federation, ZAFT will become our enemy, and if we ally with ZAFT, the Atlantic Federation will become our enemy. If both roads lead to the same end, then we must stay true to ourselves and choose the third road!" Rayner insisted, ignoring the accusation. That was exactly what Uzumi-sama had maintained in the previous war.
"We already went down that road, and know where it leads to. So we must choose another path. The current Orb does not have the strength to resist this flow or defy the Atlantic Federation and the Earth Alliance, which is a much closer and more pressing threat than the PLANTs. After all, we too, are a nation of this Earth." The prime minister reminded before once more turning to the Chief Representative. "The one thing we cannot afford to do, is to let this nation burn again. Before you go on about tradition and justice, please consider the safety of this nation and its citizens, Representative!" He enjoined the girl. She stared at him for a moment and hung her head. They could not do anything about the Atlantic Federation's way of doing things. Even if Orb could remain neutral for a time, a day in the near future was sure to come when they'd be forced to choose between submission and destruction. All they could do was take steps to protect their nation. The safety of the country and citizens was the topmost priority. It... couldn't be allowed to burn again... The ministers were right... she understood that... and couldn't retort anything...
And with this, the meeting was adjourned. All the officials left together. The Chief Representative headed alone in the opposite direction. Rayner was going to follow her when he received a call.
"What?! Okay I get it... I'll be there soon. Meantime, please hurry with everything." He ended the call and looked back at Cagalli, but before he could take a step, he saw Yuna catch up with her and called out to her. Ledford clicked his tongue, looking very frustrated, and marched away.
Yuna expressed his concern for the girl, saying she seemed awfully tired, asking if she was alright. Cagalli kept quiet and walked away. Her fiancé followed her and apologized for earlier but it was his duty to make his opinion clear to her in those situations. And he also wrapped an arm around her shoulders.
"Yeah, I know that. I also know that I still have a lot to learn." The girl sighed wearily, showing no sign of rejection. Unato smirked as he was watched them leave. That was his son alright. 'Get them when they're weak'... "At this rate, I can just see the ministers laughing about me again."
"Don't worry, everyone understands. It's just that this issue is too big for you to handle. Mashima's not trying to badmouth Lord Uzumi by any means. He's just worried that you, his daughter, might end up doing the same thing. Now you need some rest. Can I get you something to drink? Or maybe you're hungry?" He helped her on a seat.
"No, I'm okay, thanks." She replied weakly. Yuna smirked, then changed his expression to one of deep concern and knelt down before her.
"I feel sorry for you. You're only an 18-year-old girl after all." He caressed her hair. "But don't worry, I'm here for you." He spoke softly. When Cagalli thought he was going to kiss her lips, she tightly shut her eyes and tensed up fearfully, and seeing that, he only kissed her forehead.
Meantime, the Minerva was still being repaired in Orb. Arthur wanted to leave right now as war had been declared against the PLANTs but the captain believed they should wait some more. They still hadn't finished resupplying the ship. She understood his feelings but what good would it do to flee in such a hurry? On the contrary, they had to be cautious about every step they took. They arrived at the cafeteria where Shinn, Luna and Meyrin were already having coffee. They saluted each other and the officers sat down. Gladys resumed her explanation. The Earth Forces were stunned that the PLANTs were able to stop that crazy nuclear attack. She had heard that the troops surrounding Carpentaria were unable to act too. If they made a false move now, it could push them in the wrong direction. In this disorganized state of affairs, it was all the more important to be sure that the ship was in top condition. Fortunately, Orb was not part of the Earth Alliance yet. It wouldn't be too late to leave port after studying the situation a bit. There had been no contact from Headquarters either. They didn't know that ZAFT had already started moving and was preparing a large dropping operation...
"But what a bold statement 'to be deployed for self-defense purposes only'..." One of the officers in charge on the operation commented.
"Don't complain to me. It's the government talking. It can't be helped."
"I can understand plans for our first wave to drive away the Earth Forces surrounding Gibraltar and Carpentaria, but what happens after that?"
"No idea. Needless to say, we're not looking for another war like the last one. I suppose certain actions will be taken to calm the tense emotions of the citizens. Then there will be a ceasefire agreement, followed by a political settlement. But it's going to take a long time to eliminate the hatred against the Naturals who once again staged a nuclear attack against us. I guess with that, we'll have a chance to see how well the Chairman performs."
Andrew Waltfeld was watching the news and drinking coffee. As he had imagined, after having been attacked by nuclear weapons, there was only one possible course of action for the PLANTs... Lacus was peacefully sleeping with the children while Kira was lost in thought on the balcony. Another war was brewing. Was he going to have to fight again? Was he going to lose more precious people like Flay and Tolle? What were Seren and Athrun going to do? He stared at his right hand that he curled into a fist.
At the PLANTs, Athrun was surprised to receive the visit of Yzak and Dearka, although Seren had half expected it. Yzak got angry at him... or rather at both Orb envoys (and he was also angry at the robotic flying squirrel for having tried to stick himself on his face). Even though they were extremely busy, the council had called them back here... and what for? To be their personal guards?! Why should he of all people be called back from the frontlines for such a lousy job?! Zala didn't get what he was talking about.
"You guys made a request to leave the premises, right? But probably because of the current circumstances, guess we can't have you wandering around the PLANTs even though you're from a friendly nation..." Dearka spoke. Athrun recalled having been told that someone would be accompanying them, but to think it would be those two...
"What are you complaining about now, Yzak? It's just the usual, isn't it? How many times have you been the one assigned to guard me here? The usual person just set the usual thing up." Seren sighed. She had retrieved Chacha and was petting it.
"But not during such a crisis!"
"But now Athrun is here. He couldn't often come because of his delicate position in the PLANTs, but now he's here. And while I understand your frustration given the current circumstances, don't you think you're treating us too coldly? Aren't you happy to properly see us and talk to us? Even though we see you as a precious and irreplaceable friend..." She gazed up at him with a deep sadness in her moist amber eyes. It was Athrun's turn to sigh when Joule recoiled sightly, and, flustered, fell head first for the girl's provocation. She could be unnaturally good at acting... when she teased people and when she tested them. And she found it all the more amusing since Yzak was always so snappy. Well, teasing was also her way of venting stress.
"So where do you want to go?" Dearka smiled as they left the room and took the elevator.
"If you say 'shopping', I'll never forgive you." Yzak warned.
"How did you guess?" Ledford taunted him again instinctively as her robotic pet climbed onto her shoulder.
"You're picking a fight, aren't you?"
"That's not it. I want to visit the graves of Nicol and the others. I can't often come to the PLANTs, so I decided to visit them when I have the chance." Athrun smiled faintly. It was the same for Seren... although she was more often here, she was usually to busy to visit. It took everything she had just to try dealing with the present, and even then, she was being overwhelmed, so as much as she missed them, she rarely had time for the departed.
"Well, we do want to buy flowers..." The young woman said softly, serious again. "Also Dearka, I heard from Miriallia. It's no good. No girl would want a guy who would keep complaining and telling her how to live her life. Why couldn't you just believe in her and support her... like MY good boyfriend does with me?" She changed the topic and hugged her lover's arm who blushed and smiled slightly, happy.
"Leave me alone." Elsman replied. Yzak was scowling even more so than usual.
They drove to the cemetery. There were many graves they wanted to see... Seren's mother, Athrun's mother... and then Miguel Ayman, Rusty Mackenzie, Luke Preston... and Nicol Amalfi. They saluted.
"To be deployed for self-defense purposes only?" Zala repeated, though his lover was just as shocked. "So ZAFT is taking action."
"Can't be helped, right? They fired nuclear missiles at us. We can't sit back and do nothing." Joule replied. Dearka told them they had been part of the counterattack when the first wave had arrived. And he was convinced those people had had their minds set on destroying the PLANTs that way. "And? What about you? What are you doing all the way out there?! What will Orb do?!" He demanded. The Orb delegates lowered their heads.
"I was told that after we left, Orb was pressured to enter into an alliance with the Atlantic Federation... Cagalli and Rayner must be doing their best but the rest of the ministry is in favor of this treaty... and Orb was destroyed in the last war... I'm sure they're all just afraid to see the country burn again... and rather than the faraway PLANTs, they must be more afraid of angering the Atlantic Federation and suffering the same fate as before... and although not as much as other countries, Orb did sustain significant damage during the most recent... incident... ZAFT might be saying 'for self-defense purposes only' and intend to act accordingly, but you can never predict how things will unfold in a war... Whatever anyone says or how justified it is, it doesn't change the fact that this drop is an 'offensive' and will be seen as such by the people of Earth who will react accordingly and take measures to protect themselves... I believe... that will push the Orb government into signing the treaty with the Earth Alliance, and Cagalli... probably won't be able to stop it..." Seren thought aloud. But Cagalli and Rayner were not alone, right? Kira and Lacus were there too. They could at least consult and support each other, and something might come out of it.
But what about Athrun and me? We came here in hope to do something, but actually we have no hand to play... we can't stop that drop, we can't do anything, it's completely gone out of our hands...
A familiar sense of helplessness was washing over her. She should be at Cagalli's side to support her... that was what she had decided, sworn to herself and to her sister... but she knew that even if she was at her side, she could do nothing to help. She didn't want to be there just so they could lick each other's wounds like she and Kira had done in the last war! She wanted to do something truly impactful! But after all she was still considered a child, and not taken seriously. She could still get by in peace times, but now that things had come to this, she was totally useless! Coming here had proven useless too! Being pained each time she saw Cagalli repressed by the ministers, rising up to protect her, only to be quashed too. What kind of power and authority had she gained as an ambassadress? Right now, she could only feel 'limits'... like shackles painfully digging into her flesh, into her soul, dragging her beneath the surface to drown her in an ocean of despair. All she had gone through in the previous war, her efforts, sleepless nights, all the negociating, bargaining, trust-building she had painstakingly done had been smashed by the swing of a fist. Even if she screamed for peace until her throat bled and she lost her voice, at this point, there was nobody to listen, not here, and not in Orb. Negociations... That wasn't it, because she had nothing to offer to the PLANTs in return for stopping the offensive. Something stronger than the rage, hate, and grief that people felt, that would dissuade them from war... she had nothing like that to give to the people. Her voice was still far too small. She had simply come to beg the Chairman... try to use words to persuade him... even while knowing her chances were infinitely close to zero, because she just had to do something... anything... But now, there was really nothing left... That was the crushing reality.
"...At this rate, Coordinators will lose their place even in Orb... YOU will lose your place... Come to us! I'm sure there'll be lots of obstacles, but I'll do something about it. So come to the PLANTs." He urged his two foreign friends who weakly protested. "Dearka and I should have been killed long ago." Right, after the crimes they had committed during the war... Yzak who blew a shuttle full of civilians, and Dearka's defection... they should have been executed. "But Chairman Durandal said this: 'If the adults who started the war for their own convenience send youngsters to fight it and label those youngsters who make a mistake as criminals and kill them off, who will lead the PLANTs to the future? Because those youths have gone through these painful experiences, I want them to be the ones who create a peaceful future!' That's why I still wear a military uniform. Even though it's the only thing I can do... I know I can still make something of it for the good of the PLANTs and our fallen comrades... So you've gotta do something too! Both of you! Do you plan on wasting all that strength?"
"But, that's..." The girl tried to protest again.
"I know that would be especially difficult for you Seren given your position. I know how much you've struggled, but things still became like this! So what do you think you should do now? What do you want to do? What CAN you do now that it's come to this? Shouldn't you know that already? And you should also know that even if you lose your place in Orb, you will always have one here." Yzak stared straight into her hazel eyes. She looked down and balled her fists. It was the same feeling as back then when Murrue Ramius had her, Kira and the others into custody after they had seen that 'military secret'... and she and Kira had been confronted with a choice: pilot a gundam, or sink with the Archangel and their friends inside... and she was franctically searching for a way out despite not seeing any. "Needless to say, that goes for you too!" Yzak turned to Athrun who kept quiet and looked away too.
Since she had come to the PLANTs, Seren would have loved to see her aunt, Eileen Canaver, but it was impossible. After resigning from her post as Chairwoman of the provisional Supreme Council following the signing of the Junius Seven Treaty, she had decided to leave the political battlefield for a while and spend some peaceful time in the rear, back in her home of September City, and it was not like Seren and her friends could afford to make the trip and back. They had not come for leisure time. So they returned to the base. However, just as they climbed down the car and Yzak and Dearka were escorting the Orb officials to their room, the ZAFT commander received a communication.
"Alright. Seren, come over, I'm taking you back! There's someone who wants to see you." Joule called. The couple stopped.
"Me alone? Why?"
"How would I know?"
"Got it." Ledford sighed and turned back. Worried, Athrun caught her wrist, stopping her, but averted his eyes when she looked at him. "It'll be fine." She smiled and tried to sound reassuring as she cupped his cheek and planted a gentle kiss on his lips that he returned a bit passionately. Yzak looked away, scowling again while Dearka sighed goodheartedly. The girl, after handing Chacha to Athrun so he wouldn't feel too lonely, joined back with her silver-haired driver and they climbed back onto the car. Elsman walked up to Zala and put a hand on his shoulder.
"Sorry I'm not as nice company as your girlfriend, but I'll still stay with you some more." The blonde smiled. Athrun could not help but smile back.
"So, who wants to see me?" Seren asked as they were driving, and apparently heading back towards the government building.
"The Chairman."
"Why?"
"Hell if I know."
"What a useless messenger."
"Hey!"
"Say, Yzak, what am I doing? Do you think everything I've been doing has been in vain?" She leant against the window, looking outside. She suddenly looked really tired.
"... Even if you failed this time, will you give up?"
"No."
"No effort is truly wasted. You'll learn from your mistakes, grow stronger, build on the foundation you laid, and cut open a path, right?"
"I...guess."
"What can you do in Orb? And what can you do here? Carefully think those over."
"Yes."
"And what about Athrun? Everything's good between you two?"
"Of course we're doing well on that side. You saw what's on our left hands, didn't you?"
"Yet he doesn't seem to be doing that good of a job supporting you and easing your worries..."
"Don't say that. That guy too has a lot to mull over. Did you know? On Junius Seven one of the terrorists said 'Why can't you realize, that for us Coordinators the path of Patrick Zala was the only one and correct path?'" She revealed. Yzak tensed up. "He loved his father... and always regretted having been unable to stop him. But he also knows the pain and ressentment, and the feeling that 'you can't forgive', and how hard it is to try to overcome them. Since the last war, he's always been looking for answers... and now there's this... It's true things have been hard... on both of us... but because we were together, because we could support each other, we fared better than we would have had we been alone. That's why no matter what road we take or how difficult it'll be, we'll be fine, we'll make it through... as long as we're together and keep supporting each other..." She smiled.
The Chairman invited Seren into his office while Yzak was made to wait outside. After the greetings, she inquired why he asked to see her alone. She was trying to sound agreeable, but the faint note of sarcasm and suspicion in her voice didn't escape the PLANTs leader, though he thought nothing of it and simply smiled.
"I wanted to speak with you more... and let Athrun spend more time with his comrades. How about a game while we talk. It's been a while, hasn't it?" He sat down at a table and gestured towards the chess board. She sat down too, closed her eyes for a time, opened them again, and moved a white pawn. As the game progressed, Durandal started speaking. As she already knew, he highly rated her keeness of judgement so he'd like to hear her assessment... about the roots of this war, and what was needed to stop it... no, not just this war, but all wars...
Keeness of judgement... huh? Well, there's surely part of that but he must also be refering about the extensive information network of the Ledfords, and he knows I know that he knows. And it's only natural of him to get thorough background checks of the people that catch his attention. But that way he's speaking... it sounds like he's got something in mind... or maybe planning something...?
"If you want someone to show their cards, isn't it only right that you show yours first?" Seren countered, although she knew that good players always kept aces up their sleeves.
"Then I'll phrase things differently. Have you heard of LOGOS?" Gilbert questioned as one of his bishop captured one of her knights. The female diplomat paused as she was about to put the rook she had taken back on the board. "As expected, it looks like you have..."
"The merchants of death..." The girl placed her rook. The debate seemed to move on placidly, but a strong clash of convictions could be felt, albeit in a very subdued manner... the contest on the board was proceeding calmly in appearance too, as if it to belie the depth and fierceness of the strategies they employed... "You could indeed say they're the brain behind Blue Cosmos... for most of them. But there are also companies that are not like that. And their economic strength is also necessary to their respective countries. Simply killing everyone and destroying everything would be an all too crippling blow for Earth. We must think of the aftermath. Dealing with them would be quite the uphill battle. Besides... you can't shift all the blame on them. Even if they are truly the ones setting the stage and pulling the strings, we're still the ones acting things out, and allowing things to become like this."
"Then, do you think the people are ready to face that truth?"
"Not yet..." Ledford answered after a time as they kept playing. "But that's exactly why... we can't keep running away. True peace can only be achieved when everyone make conscious efforts towards it, when their wish for a peaceful future grows stronger than their hate, grief, and resentment. If it was enforced any other way, then this peace would be nothing more than an illusion, something to cage the people... and eventually meant to crumble." She took down the Chairman's black queen and strongly looked up at him. Gilbert closed his eyes after a time, and opened them again, smiling.
"I see... You really are outstanding... both your insight and your character, your integrity. I know I said I'd let you decide, but if you could pardon my honesty and selfishness, I really need people like you after all. If someone like you who understands the ins and outs of this war could lead on the frontlines, you'd be able to draw in the reins when necessary and carefully control the balance and interactions with the various actors. Because you have a clear goal, you'd be able to lead everyone in the right direction. I understand you're worried about Representative Athha. That is the reason you came to me, to seek my help, right? Not only about her, but about your whole family, about Orb, and this world... Unfortunately, the way things are now, the war can't be stopped, not by you, and not by me. You've heard about the descent, haven't you?" He questioned. Seren nodded. "Operation Spear of Twilight... I had no choice but to ratify it. Some of the steam must be let off. But while we couldn't stop the war altogether, it should be possible to do something while it's still in its early stages. At least we should do everything we can to end it as soon as possible, for everyone's sake. That is what I believe. Won't you lend us your help for that purpose?" He smiled kindly, hopefully. The young woman stared at him before closing her hazel eyes.
Some time later, the Orb ambassadress left the Chairman's office. Durandal looked at the chess board. The game had ended with his victory when Seren had resigned. That girl had indeed high reading ability and could pull some unexpected moves. She could be quite dangerous. However, it felt like she had given up a bit too soon. It seemed that she was tired too. A youth like her was just fresh meat for the sharks of the political sphere after all. All in all, she was still too naïve. Her endgame wasn't good enough, thorough enough.
"True peace can only be achieved when everyone make conscious efforts towards it and their will becomes one, when their wish for a peaceful future grows stronger than their hate, grief, and resentment." How long did she think that was going to take? How many more people would die in the meantime? No, to even believe such peace was possible... she was really a child... "If it was enforced any other way, then this peace would be nothing more than an illusion, something to cage the people... and eventually meant to crumble." But war has been going on for millenias... it never truly stopped, it could not be stopped... people tried over the ages, but they died, time passed, and conflicts returned. All their efforts were wasted. Humans simply could not stop warring on their own... unless you changed the very foundations of mankind, unless you changed their guiding principles... unless you changed... their destiny itself. He took the white rook in his hand and played with it.
Nonetheless, she was an important piece with great mobility that could exert her control over a wide area. However, the power she could exert greatly depended on the king and queen she served. If they couldn't use her correctly, then her strength was halved, and thus wasted. And he couldn't allow it. He had called her again because he had estimated she would be the hardest one to convince given her position and feelings for Orb. But he wanted them both equally, Athrun, and her. Even though Athrun mainly acted based on his own principles, he also acted out of his feelings for Seren. His defection from ZAFT in the last war had been the perfect exemple. Most certainly, he had joined Orb, the Archangel, Kira Yamato and Seren Ledford because he believed they shared the same justice, but there was also no doubt that he had half done it out of love for Seren. He had thoroughly investigated their relation. And he wanted to pull them both. However, as much as their strength was appealing, it also made them dangerous. They were the strongest together. It was necessary to weaken them slightly to make them more malleable. Their relation had to be cracked. Seren's insight and unruliness made her especially problematic but isolating her should make her a bit more manageable...
Pensive, Seren quietly followed Yzak. He didn't question her. He could tell from her expression that she simply couldn't answer. But he let her know that he was supporting her by placing his hand on her back or shoulder. His awkward kindness made her smile, and although she didn't mention it, it reminded her of Athrun, especially in the beginning of their relationship. Her smiles and giggling made him feel like he was being mocked though, which made him react in a huff... and amused Seren even more. Noting that Yzak had really managed to cheer her up, she thanked him. Her smile was so sincere and beautiful then the pacified young man could only look away with a slight blush tingeing his cheeks. However, she could not forget the Chairman's words. They affected her. They affected her because she felt 'truth' in them. But then she'd think of Cagalli, and it hurt. And she also felt that Durandal was still hiding things from her, huge things that she wasn't sure she would like or agree with. The use of Meer Campbell as Lacus Clyne didn't sit well with her. Under a saintly appearance, he could be very twisted and ruthless. For his goal, he would unhesitatingly move people the way he would pawns, and make any sacrifice... The end justified the means. At least that was what she had sensed from his playing style. No matter how good his intentions, his goal, would it have any meaning if victory was achieved through the wrong methods?
But... She had a goal too, coexistence between Naturals and Coordinators. Could she achieve it if she returned to Orb and followed Cagalli? Did Cagalli have the ability to fulfill that dream? She certainly had potential but it was being crushed, like a seedling left rotting in water instead of having properly been planted in soil. Then what if Seren followed the Chairman and enrolled in ZAFT? She didn't doubt that Durandal shared her dream of coexistence. As much as she loved her family, she had to be objective. She could be a sword or a shield, a retainer, but she could never be a king or queen leading the people. So she had to serve the one who was most capable of achieving her goal. And right now, could she say she had the luxury of choosing her methods?
Joule escorted Ledford back to the room she shared with Athrun. As soon as she passed the door, Chacha zoomed towards her like a bullet and she caught him. After the goodbyes Dearka left with Yzak. Athrun glanced again at his lover as he had often done so. Although Seren had been smiling, he could easily see through her fake smiles. Only a few seconds after the door had closed behind their friends, she suddenly and tightly hugged him around the waist, clutching the back of his green pullover, and buried her face in his chest like she was craving comfort. The young man silently but strongly hugged her back. After his warmth and smell seeped in, she found the strength to look up at him and he saw the shadow of distress. He kept his left arm around her waist while his right hand gently cupped her cheek and he leant in, pressing his lips against hers, he kissed her with all his love.
Words, thoughts, feelings meet, connect, clash, intertwine, ensnare. As if caught by a net, we can't pull away. Do we want to pull away? Should we pull away? If more threads are connected, will they take us out of this maze? Must we reach out? Or must we reach inside of us? Even if our earnest hearts become lost, we wish to find the answer beyond that. What we must grab is the thread that leads to tomorrow.
Author's note: hm... I wanted to post this a lot earlier but I couldn't for many reasons. Sorry about my lateness. I'll post chapter 11 'The Chosen Path', tomorrow.