A/N: I am SO SORRY that it has been so long. I've had a lot going on and was suffering from writers block on another story that, in trying to force myself to write that, made me lose my inspo temporarily for this, but I AM BACK...three mental breakdowns, a medicine change, a chronic illness attack, a lot of help from my loving editor, support from fanfic friends, a LOT of rants, and one more mental breakdown later...I AM BACK. Anyway, I swear I won't leave y'all hanging like that again(or at least I'll try my best not to.) I hope you all enjoy this, so here you are:

Hand in hand, Amanda and Alex walk up the road leading to the house. Amanda laughs, "I still can't believe it. It's almost too good to be true, isn't it?"

Alex laughs a little, "Sure seems like it, but I can assure you it's real."

Letting out a happy sigh, Amanda leans on his arm, "Do you think Ma will be happy?"

"Of course! You saw how she reacted when she found out about Rose, finding out about you will make her just as happy, I'm certain."

"Well, I trust you, so I'll take your word for it."

As they walk up the steps to the house, an odd sound comes from the room to the right of the door, muffled by the walls of the house. It comes from Jack's room. Alex and Amanda exchange a glance before Amanda shrugs and steps up to the front door. She opens it and peeks her head in with a smile, but her smile falls the second she realizes that no one is moving around. There's no sound of breakfast being made or of people eating. No one is moving around either and there's no voices. In the Dawson household, silences like this come far and few between.

Amanda straightens up and opens the door all the way, stepping in with Alex just behind her. They're met with a sight far different from what either of them had expected. Caroline sits in a dining room chair pulled away from the table, a far off look in her eyes as the tip of her thumbnail rests between her teeth, something she only did when she was deeply upset by something. In the living room to their left, Julie sits on the couch, her eyes wide and glistening. Her shoulders shake slightly and her right hand touches her ear, the other covering her mouth. Danny stands not far from them, his forearm resting on the edge of the wall between the kitchen and dining room, his head leaning on top of that and eyes closed.

Though neither Alex nor Amanda know what it is, they know that something is terribly wrong. All three inside look up at the sound of the door. Caroline quickly stands to greet them. As she walks over, she attempts to say, "Alex," but it comes out a hoarse whisper and she clears her throat before trying again, "Alex. Amanda. I'm glad you're back. Did everything go alright?"

Alex nods with a small smile, "Yeah. Yeah, Ma. Everything went great actually," he turns to Amanda, "Do you wanna-"

"What's going on? Where are Jack and Rose?" Amanda cuts him off, not being able to stand the air of tension in the house.

Caroline hesitates, "I...It's nothing you need to worry about just not, darling," She turns to Alex, "Could I talk to you for a moment?"

Alex gives a hesitant nod, "Yes…"

Without waiting for him to protest, Caroline takes his hand and leads him away, off to her bedroom and closes the door behind her, "She's pregnant, isn't she?"

Frowning slightly as he speaks, Alex says, "Yeah..how'd you guess?"

Caroline faces Alex with a smile, "I've birthed four children, yourself included, and witnessed many other pregnancies. I know the signs of a pregnant woman."

Alex laughs, "Yeah, alright, but why'd you have to pull me aside for this? What's going on here? You looked almost like you did when Dad died or when Jack left, Danny looked like he'd been rejected by the love of his life and Jule looked like she'd seen, or heard by the way she was touching her ear, a ghost. What the hell happened?"

Caroline takes a deep breath, "I pulled you aside because I think it's best you break the news to Amanda. It's going to scare her, though she hasn't been through anything like what it seems as though Rose went through, so I think she'll be just fine. You see...something went wrong and, Rose...she's miscarried. When you guys came back...Rose had just found out. I do believe that none of us will ever forget that heartbroken scream. That's why Julie looked so affright."

Alex sucks in his breath, "Oh my God...why? What caused it?"

"Well, I'm not sure exactly, but they seemed to settle on exposure to extreme cold and experiencing severe trauma from which her body couldn't recover while supporting that of an infant's. Jack...it was like he was speaking gibberish, really. Blaming himself for it, saying she shouldn't have gone back for him, he shouldn't have let her jump back, claiming he should be dead and their child alive. None of us know what he meant. He also referred to someone named...Cal, I believe? It's got my head spinning."

Alex nods slowly, "It's like she said...she was with him watching him 'freeze to near death.' That must be what it was. Oh God, I'm sure I didn't help this morning...not at all."

"What do you mean?"

"I got in an argument with Rose over Jack. When I said...well, I kind of accused him of having commitment issues, it was stupid. I shouldn't have said it, but I did and Rose I guess lost control and started telling me about how I didn't know what it was like to be watching him nearly freeze to death because of his devotion to her, to wait by his bedside for days, praying he'd wake up but knowing he might never and it would be because we has devoted enough to die for her...Whatever incident she was talking about, I'd bet that's what this is."

Caroline shakes her head, "I hope you realize how wrong of you that was. I've seen how little of a chance you've given Jack. You've distanced yourself from him since the moment he stepped through the door and to go off accusing him of something so harsh when you've barely gotten to know this new Jack and how he's changed over the past five years...I'm disappointed in you."

Alex swallows, "I know, it was wrong and stupid of me."

"Anyways, I think you ought to tell Amanda what's happened. It's bound to scare her."

With a nod, Alex makes his way to the door, "Yeah, I'll take care of that."

Caroline sighs and takes a moment to clear her mind so she can help the two grieving lovers before walking out the door as well.

…

Jack is sitting back in his chair with one hand loosely in Rose's while he stares off and subconsciously bites the nail of his other thumb. When he hears the door open, he only looks up long enough to see his mother before staring off again.

Caroline walks over to the bed and turns to sit on the edge, facing Jack. Jack doesn't acknowledge her until she speaks up, "Are you alright?"

Jack scoffs slightly and looks up to meet her gaze, "How can I be?"

Caroline sighs and nods, "I'm so sorry this happened, Jack. I wish there was something I could do to take the pain both of you are feeling away."

Jack nods, but doesn't respond. She speaks again, "For now, I'll do everything I can to take care of you both. Neither of you have had breakfast, she'll be hungry when she wakes. You must be too."

"No, not really."

"Well, I'll bring in food for both of you and we'll go from there. I'll get something light for Rose and easy on the stomach, broth or something of the sort."

Again, Jack nods, distracted, "That sounds alright."

Caroline sighs and reaches out to pat Jack's shoulder before leaning down and placing a kiss on top of his head. Before she can make it to the door, Jack's hand stops her, wrapping around her wrist. She turns back to him, "What is it, darling?"

Jack swallows and says in a shaky voice, "Ma...Ma, I've messed up...I've messed up and I don't know how to fix it."

His voice cracks on the last word and, in that moment, Jack looks like the thirteen year old schoolboy Caroline once knew. The boy who came to her with the simplest troubles that didn't have a real worry in the world. That little boy is gone, replaced by a strong young man who's been through worse than many, but seeing this reminder of him breaks Caroline's heart, "What is it, Jack? ...You know this wasn't your fault, right?"

Jack swallows, "Before this happened, when Rose and I were...when we were arguing, she asked me if I was suggesting that she wouldn't make a good mother and...and my mouth faster than my mind. I said that, if she kept it up, then yes…" Caroline sucks in her breath and Jack looks up at her, "I don't know how I let myself say it."

"We almost never mean words that come from a place of anger."

Jack looks up at her, his eyes glistening, "But, Ma...she believed me."

"What do you mean?"

Jack looks at Rose, who still sleeps soundly behind his mother, and blinks back tears as he speaks, "When she woke up, after she found out and all, she...she said to me," Jack swallows and blinks back more tears, whispering, "She told me…'You were right.' But I wasn't, Ma! I wasn't! Not at all! She would make the most amazing mother...God, I can't even put it into words just how wonderful she would be as a mother."

Caroline looks at him with sad eyes, "You told her that, right?"

"Of course...but I don't think she believed me," There's a silence before Jack chokes back a short sob, dropping his head in his hands, "Why did I say it? Why? My God, what I would give to go and take it back. What do I do, Ma? How do I fix this? I'm just so lost."

Caroline takes a deep breath, "Just take it one day at a time. She has a lot on her right now. The loss of your child, the tragedy you both are struggling with, almost losing you to what has now taken this child...Start with being there for her, but don't forget to take care of yourself too. I can only imagine what you're feeling, but I'm here for you, love."

Jack nods and runs his fingers through his hair, leaning back against the back of the chair and closing his eyes, "Yeah. Yeah, alright...Thank you."

Caroline nods and stands up to walk towards the door, letting her hand rest on Jack's shoulder as she passes. Once more, Jack stops her, but only with his voice this time, "Wait a second...how'd you know about that? Did I mention us going through anything?"

Caroline smiles sadly, "I'm your mother, Jack. Mothers have ways of figuring things out. Not to mention, your...reaction to the miscarriage certainly implied something of the sort."

Jack nods, "...Right."

"I'll be back with food for the both of you."

Jack nods before resuming his position from before Caroline had come in, taking up Rose's hand once more. This time, however, the gaze in his eyes isn't as far off nor full of pain, but, rather, hard with resolve. Resolve that he will be there for Rose and do whatever it should take to get her back. Resolve to put her and her care above him and everything else. Though it doesn't occur to him at the time, his resolution to do this could very well lead to him doing exactly what his mother warned him not to do...forget himself.

...

When Alex exits the room after talking with his mother, he goes out to find Amanda pacing with her arms crossed. As soon as she hears him coming, she whirls around to look at him, "What is this madness?! Why won't anyone tell me a damn thing?! I deserve to know what's going on here!"

Alex reaches out and puts a hand on her arm in an attempt to calm her, "Don't worry. I'll tell you everything, but I think it's best we head back to our room for that."

Amanda lets out a huff as he takes her hand and lets him lead her down the hall, "You all are treating me like a child! This isn't fair! I'm even older than you a-" Amanda's sentence cuts off as they pass Jack and Rose's room just as Caroline enters it. Through the open door, Amanda catches sight of Jack, looking frighteningly distressed and Rose lying on the bed, asleep, looking deathly pale. Once they've passed, Amanda stops short and pulls Alex back to face her, saying in a whisper-shout, "What the hell is this? What happened?"

Alex sighs and reaches behind him to open the door. He stands there with it open, not saying a word, while Amanda makes no sign of moving. She looks at Alex, determined to stand her ground. He motions with his head for her to walk though, "Come on, Mandi. Please just go in."

Amanda softens at the nickname. Alex doesn't use it on her often. She'd feigned disdain for the name when they first met, but Alex is almost certain now she likes it, though she has yet to admit it. And he is right, she does love it. It softened her every time. With a sigh, she walks in giving no further protest.

Alex closes the door behind then and sits on their bed. Amanda remains standing with her arms crossed until Alex pats the bed beside him, when she reluctantly sits. Alex reaches out and takes her hand, "Look...this is probably gonna scare you, so I want to tell you that the likelihood of anything similar happening to you is incredibly slim. You haven't gone through anything like Rose and you don't share genetics. It was almost an anomaly and its reason doesn't affect you at all so-"

Amanda cuts him off, eyes wide, "Alex, you aren't really helping! Please, just tell me what it is."

Alex swallows, "While we were gone...Rose..she, um, she...she miscarried."

Amanda jerks her hand away from him, standing up as her erms fly protectively towards her stomach, "She what?! No, no, no. She couldn't have! She-She-...Oh my God. I...What if it happens to me too? Oh God, what am I thinking. No, I'm being selfish just thinking about me. Oh my God, how she must feel. Why? Why'd it happen? Could it happen to me?"

Alex doesn't stand, but rather takes her hand and gently pulls her back down, "It's not gonna happen to you. What she mentioned this morning...that's what it was. Cold, I think."

"Wisconsin has cold winters! It could happen to me!" Amanda stands back up, pacing, "I can't lose this child! No, I can't do that. Oh my God, I'm frightened. Is it wrong of me to be scared? I feel absolutely awful for Rose! How selfish of me to be so afraid for myself rather than just mourning for her. I can't help it!"

This time Alex does stand, wrapping his arms around Amanda, who hooks hers under his, "Shhh, calm down. You're not being selfish, anyone would be scared in your place, but everything will be alright, I promise. I don't think either of us understand what's happened with Jack and Rose, but it's nothing like you've gone through or will go through, I'll make sure of that. Everything will be just fine, okay?"

Amanda swallows and nods, not saying anything in return for a long moment. Eventually she does say something, though it's nothing like what Alex had expected, "We shouldn't tell them."

His eyebrows shoot up, "What?"

Pulling out of his embrace to look him in the eye, Amanda says "We shouldn't tell them."

"Shouldn't tell who what?"

Amanda sighs, "Come on, you're not dumb. We shouldn't tell anyone about the baby."

Alex opens his mouth to protest, but stops himself...maybe she's right. Caroline knows, but surely Jack or Rose finding out wouldn't do them any good and if the rest of them knew it was bound to slip. Either that or them not telling Jack would add to the conflict between the two brothers. Alex swallows, "I guess you're right, though we can only hide it for so long."

"Yes, I know, but we don't need to add this to everyone's list of worries. We'll manage just fine ourselves for now."

Leaning in to give her a soft kiss, Alex says, "Of course."

…

That evening, Jack still sits by Rose's bedside, not having moved from her side once. Rose's bowl of food remains cold and untouched by her bedside, which serves as a reminder to Jack that Rose hadn't eaten once all day, yet another thing to worry him. She has yet to wake up and Jack is growing more worried with each passing minute. She hadn't lost that much blood, had she? She'd already woken up once, she had to wake up again soon.

A small shift in the frail hand resting in Jack's strong one pulls his attention from his worries to the woman laying in front of him as she shifts. Jack watches silently, but hopefully as Rose begins to stir. Soon enough, her hand squeezes his with surprising strength for the delicate thing he'd been holding all day, and finally, her eyes open. They're bright at first, bright and confused, but not sad. They remain this way only for a moment before her memories return from where her dreams had locked them away while she slept. Then, they become dull and emotionless, empty almost.

Despite this, a slight smile appears on Jack's lips as he moves his thumb in a comforting motion over her hand, "Hey, how are you feeling?"

Rose stares at him blankly, as though she hadn't understood. Jack's smile falters and he tries again, "Tired still? Hungry?"

This time, Rose shrugs slightly, but makes no move to voice her responses. Jack bites his lip, "You haven't eaten all day, how about I get you something quickly and we'll go from there."

Again, Rose doesn't respond, but she squeezes his hand tightly, refusing to let Jack go as he stands. He sits back down, "What's wrong?" After a moment passes with still no response, Jack says, "You don't want me to leave? Is that it?"

Ever so slightly, Rose nods and Jack says, "Okay, I'll stay here as long as you need...but you have to eat, drink, something."

Rose averts her eyes from him and Jack sighs. He looks over at the nightstand and the glass of water sitting beside the bowl of cold soup before turning back to Rose, "Come on, let's sit you up a little."

Jack moves to prop up her pillows slightly so she can sit up enough to drink. Then he picks up the cup of water and holds it gently up to her lips, tilting it up so she can drink. Reluctantly she does so, but it doesn't take long for her to realize how thirsty she was and fully accept the water.

Just before she finishes, the sound of the door opening causes both Jack and Rose to look up. Caroline appears in the doorway and a smile forms on her face at the sight of Rose being awake, "Well, it's good to see you awake again, Rose. You must be starving, you haven't eaten a thing all day."

When Rose doesn't respond, Caroline's smile falters, but she just nods and picks up the bowl on the nightstand, "I'll leave you two alone, but I'll be back with this in a moment so you can have something warm."

Jack nods, "Thank you," and Caroline disappears once more.

With a sigh, Jack turns back to Rose, "Look, I can imagine what you're going through right now, but I need you to talk. Can you just say something for me? Anything?"

Rose looks at him and swallows, "I don't want to talk."

Though he hides it quickly, Rose catches the hurt that passes over his face, "That's alright," he reaches out to gently stroke her cheek with his thumb, "It's okay."

Rose looks away from him, feeling guilty, yet without the energy to explain herself. Not only does she not want to talk, it just seems to take more effort than it's worth, whether that be because of her physical or emotional exhaustion she doesn't know. Before Jack can make any more of a response, Caroline returns with the food.

After a good deal of coaxing, Jack manages to get Rose to eat about half of the bowl, but he gives into her protests after that, allowing her to lay back down and close her eyes. Once he's certain she's asleep, Jack removes his hand from hers and leaves her side for the first time since the miscarriage, grabbing his portfolio and leaving the room.

Outside, Jack finds life going on as something close to normal, except the usual chatter of the house has been silenced and there seems to be a cloud of unhappiness hanging over everyone. The second Jack's door is heard clicking shut behind him, even the little chatter that was taking place cuts off and everyone's gaze turns to him. Jack shifts uncomfortably and is about to move towards Caroline when Julie speaks, "How is she?"

Jack looks at her, "She's...Well, physically she seems alright, just tired and such, but...mentally, she...she's not well. Who could be? She doesn't have the energy to do much of anything. She's...It's just so unlike Rose, but there's nothing I can do."

Caroline nods, "She'll just need time, but I'm sure everything will be alright."

Jack looks towards the front door and walks over to it, slipping on his shoes, and checking everything's inside his portfolio before opening the door, "I need some air."

…

Almost an hour later, Jack returns, silently walking back to his room and reaching to open the door. As he places his hand back on the doorknob, Jack's eyes meet Julie's for just a moment and that's all it takes for Jack to know that she's promised to be there for him if he needs a shoulder to lean on and for Julie to feel all he feels. Much to her surprise...she feels nothing. Just a numb and hollow feeling. A feeling of nothingness, a void that can't be filled yet there's no feeling of loss, just numbness.

Julie furrows her eyebrows slightly in question, but Jack just turns away from her and closes the door behind him, not showing any emotion on his face.

Julie looks after him, but doesn't make any move towards the door. Eventually she tears her eyes from it and looks towards Caroline, "He's shutting us out. He's shutting himself out. He's..."

Caroline looks up surprised to have heard from Julie, who's kept quiet all morning, "I'm sorry, what?

"He's shutting everything out."

"How would you know?"

"When he looked at me...I just know. He feels like he's got to be there for Rose so he can't let his emotions out, but he's not even letting himself feel them. He's gonna put everything he feels to the side until Rose is better...but by then it could be too late."

Looking quite confused, Caroline asks, "How is it you know all this?"

After biting her lip for a minute, Julie shrugs her shoulders, "I don't know how I know, but I'm certain it's true."

Caroline nods, "Well, I always did believe twins have a sort of...connection. Do you see a way to help him?"

"Just let me take care of it I guess. I can understand Jack better than just about anyone, it's just how things work with the two of us."

With a sigh, Caroline nods, "I just hope this all can work itself out before anything bigger comes into the picture. If what happened to them is as bad as Jack made it out to be this morning, I'd bet this isn't the only bad thing that'll come out of it."

...

Jack walks back into the room to find Rose in the same position she was in when he left. Her head rests against the pillow, leaning to the right, and her eyes are closed. Jack smiles ever so slightly at her relaxed state and leans down to place a light kiss on her forehead.

As Jack moves away, Rose's eyes open, yet her face remains emotionless. "Oh," Jack says quietly. "I thought you were- I didn't wake you, did I?" He stammers nervously, struggling to find the right words.

Rose shakes her head slightly, still not saying a word. She simply places her hands flat on the bed and slowly moves over, wincing in pain as she does so. "Don't try to move," Jack says worriedly.

It is obvious she's straining herself in order to move. By the time Jack tries to stop her, she's already moved over in the bed, leaving enough space for Jack to fit.

"Y-You want me to lay with you?" Jack asks. Rose looks up at him, her blue eyes somehow looking darker now, and nods. "Okay," he smiles, feeling relieved to be able to do something to help her. "I can do that."

Jack pulls down the covers and slides into the bed next to her. He wraps a protective arm around her, and she rests her head against his chest. They lay there a moment before Jack feels Rose's silent tears soaking through his shirt, and his heart breaks. He kisses the top of her head and lets one of her curls run through his fingers. We'll survive this, Jack thinks to himself. We have to.