The next morning, Mac was up at 7. He felt like he didn't have anything to do. He was still on leave from work. He supposed he could just go down to the diner and eat breakfast, but he would go for his workout first. He got into his workout pants and t-shirt and brought along swimming trunks. He walked to the gym to get himself warmed up for his workout. It was very chilly outside. He zipped his jacket as he walked. There was not a cloud in the sky this morning. He loved the Fall.

Mac arrived at the gym and began his workout. He lifted a lot of weights and ran three miles on the treadmill. He would run outside later in the day. After all that, he went to the indoor pool. There was no one in there this morning. He got into his trunks and dove in. Even though the pool was heated, the water still felt cold when one first plunged in. Mac treaded a moment to get used to that shock. Then he swam a few laps. He went home after that and put his duffle bag away and then he jogged to the diner.

By the time he got there, he was ravenous. He ordered a full breakfast with orange juice and coffee. He leaned back on the seat. He felt refreshed. A good workout was good for anyone. Mac looked out the window. He thought maybe he would go fishing. He had not been in a long time. It would soon be too cold to go, and he thought he would like to get out with nature. He was taking Stella out for dinner tonight. He had not really decided where to go yet. He had been hoping that she would suggest something. He thought maybe he would like to just go out and eat burgers or pizza. He wanted to be relaxed.

After breakfast, Mac headed back to his apartment. He heard a horn blow. This time, it was Stella in the Avalanche. "Hey, you need a ride, handsome?" she asked.

Mac stopped and looked at her a moment. Handsome? She had never called him that before. "Why not?" he asked. He got into the truck.

"Where you headed?"

"Home."

Stella got back into traffic. "So, have you decided where we're going tonight?" she asked.

"I was thinking maybe we could just go and get a burger or a pizza," Mac said.

Stella looked at him. "Sounds good to me. You want to be relaxed?"

"Yes. I want to just go out and have fun."

"Okay. Where are we going for this burger or pizza?"

Mac smiled. "Well, there's this place over on Staten Island where you can get either one."

"How do you find all these places?"

"Crime scenes."

"Oh. You mean someone has been murdered in this place?"

"No. I was hungry after I was at the crime scene a block away and I just stopped there."

"Okay." Stella hardly ever ate after she looked at a dead body. She had to have at least an hour to get the picture out of her head. She figured no matter how long she did this job, she would never get used to seeing people lying dead in the street.

"Are you sure that's okay?" Mac asked, noticing her silence.

"Yes," Stella said. "I like relaxing dates. I can unwind after a long day at the office."

"Any cases?"

"One, but don't you worry about that."

"I'm starting to chomp at the bit."

Stella smiled. "I can imagine. You'll be back before you know it."

"I hope."

They arrived at Mac's apartment building. "I guess I'll see you tonight. Seven?"

"Seven. I'll pick you up," Stella said.

Mac nodded. "Okay."

Stella watched Mac go into the building. She thought he still didn't act like himself. He seemed to be withdrawn and that fire in his eyes wasn't there like it normally was. She missed it. She wanted to see his confidence come back into those beautiful eyes. She went on back to the office. Danny and Lindsey were in the lab. "How is Mac?" Lindsey asked, knowing where Stella had been.

"He had been to breakfast," Stella answered. "He seemed to be doing okay. He's still not himself, but I think he's better."

"It's lonely around here without him," Danny said. "I'm not worried about him coming out of the elevator and catching me goofing off. I miss that."

Adam had just walked into the lab. "Me too," he agreed. "I can stand in there and goof off all day and nobody says anything."

"He'll be back in two weeks," Stella said. "In the meantime, I'll just have to keep you guys in order." She looked at Adam. "Get back to work."

"Yes, Ma'am."

Stella almost laughed as Adam hurried out of the lab. She looked at Danny. "No goofing off," she said.

Danny looked at Lindsey. "She may be worse than Mac," he said.

Lindsey laughed. "Sergeant Stella."

Stella shook her head and went to her office. She missed Mac too. She hated that he wasn't here to keep things in order. He was always on top of everything. He always seemed to know everything that was going on in this lab even if he wasn't involved in the case. He was a born leader and he knew how to keep everyone straight. Stella didn't think she had the talent that he had for it. She always liked to be everyone's friend. Mac was too, but if someone got out of line, he reminded them very fast that he was their boss too.

Mac was sitting on his couch watching TV. He was still thinking about going fishing. He wanted to go out to the mountains and fish. After all, they weren't that far away. He could go out there to the Catskills and fish in a mountain stream. Maybe he would rent a cabin up there and just be alone. He figured Stella would be upset about that, but she would just have to get over it. He would plan to do that tomorrow. He got his phone and called the Park up there at the Catskills, and they had a cabin available, so Mac rented it. He would be leaving in the morning. He would tell Stella about it tonight.

Stella arrived at Mac's apartment at 7 on the dot. She had brought her own vehicle. She went inside and knocked. Mac opened the door. He was dressed in an olive green sweater and dark black jeans. "I'm ready," he said. He took his leather jacket off the coat rack. He noticed Stella was wearing a white sweater and blue jeans. "You look nice."

"Thank you," Stella said. "So do you."

They went out to the car and Mac gave Stella directions to the restaurant he was referring to. Stella was surprised when they got there. It was a drive in with a movie theater. "We're going to eat in the car?" Stella asked.

"Yeah," Mac said. "That's okay, right?"

"Sure. Are we watching the movie?"

"Yes. I like drive ins."

Stella smiled. She felt like she was back in the seventies again. "So, what are we ordering?" she asked.

"I want a large pizza," Mac said. "Supreme. Get a large bucket of popcorn and two large drinks and pay for the movie."

Stella just stared at him a moment with an amused look. "What?" Mac asked.

"Anything else?"

"No, that will do for starters."

Stella smiled and pressed the button to order. It took a while, but soon their order arrived. The waitress brought their movie tickets so they could go into the other part of the drive in. When they had everything, Stella drove over to the parking area. Mac set the radio for the right station. Then he opened the pizza box and leaned back his seat a little. "I'm starving," he said. "I haven't had pizza in three weeks. All I had was health food to 'clean out my system'."

"I'm sure it was a real drag," Stella said, as she took a bite of the pizza. "Mmm, that is so good."

The movie started on the big screen. Stella smiled. "I have not been to a theatre like this in years," she said.

"Neither have I," Mac said. "Claire and I used to…" He frowned, and took another bite of his pizza.

Stella looked at him. She supposed this situation made him think of Claire a whole lot more. She leaned her seat back and got comfortable. "At least it isn't burning hot or freezing cold tonight," she said, trying to change the subject.

"Yeah," Mac said. "I guess they'll close this theatre part when it gets too cold."

They were silent for a while paying attention to the movie. Then it came to a love scene. Mac sipped his drink and looked out the side window, only to see the same thing going on in the car beside them. He got another slice of pizza. Stella grinned at Mac's discomfort. They had seen that and worse on this job they did. She supposed it was different to him sitting in this car with her alone.

"I'm thinking about going on a fishing trip tomorrow," Mac said.

"Where to?" Stella asked.

"I'm renting a cabin up in the Catskills. I want to get out there with nature and just fish."

"How long are you staying?"

"Three days."

Stella was shocked that he was going away that long. "You'll keep your phone on, won't you?"

"I don't know how good the reception is up there."

Stella sipped her drink again. "Be careful." She remembered the fact that Walter Quincy was still at large. What if he discovered that Mac was up there alone and went up there after him? Then again, they didn't even know that he was still in the city. How would he know Mac was going anyway?

"I'll be careful," Mac said. "Don't worry about me. I just want to go where it's quiet."

"I know. I just worry about you."

"Why?"

Stella looked at him. "Because I care about you."

Mac stared at her a moment. "I know."

Stella thought she saw something in those green eyes that she hadn't seen before, but then Mac looked away. "When do you go to therapy again?" she asked.

"Next Monday," Mac replied. He looked at the movie screen. The love scene was over now. "I don't know how much good therapy is doing."

"I think it's helping you."

"I worked out this morning. I thought maybe it would help me if I build myself back up. I lost ten pounds while I was in…" Mac didn't want to think about that.

"Ten pounds?"

Mac nodded. "Some of it was muscle too from not eating."

Stella swallowed. "She didn't feed you?"

"Not three meals a day."

Stella was glad Mac was talking to her. He had not discussed his captivity with her at all. "She just kept you in that bed?" she asked.

Mac nodded. "Just cuffed there. They didn't cuff me once and I got away in that house, but they caught me again. I couldn't walk. I was so weak, I didn't have the strength to get away."

Stella shifted in her seat. "It must have been a terrible experience."

"I don't know if terrible is a strong enough word."

Stella wished Mac would tell her more, but she would not dare press him. She could see he was struggling with the thoughts he was having now. "You can tell me anything," she said.

Mac looked at her. "No I can't," he said, almost in a whisper. "There's just some things you can't tell."

Stella turned around in her seat. "Mac, I know she mistreated you. She was obsessed with you, and we know she gave you ecstasy."

Mac looked away. "I'm not going into that," he said, almost angrily. "I don't want to talk about it."

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to pry."

"Yes, you did. Even reporters come up to me wanting me to tell them the juicy details about my humiliation. You all just want to hear what she did to me."

"Mac, I don't want to know anything that you don't want to tell me, but I can tell you this: when Quinn's trial date comes, you'll have to testify."

"Why does there have to be a trial?" Mac asked. "She confessed, didn't she?"

"Yes, but you know how the system works. Everyone is entitled to a trial."

"Yeah, they just want to get me on that stand and try to humiliate me even more, and even in front of her to give her more pleasure."

Stella noticed Mac's hands were shaking. "Mac, you're not the first person who ever went through something like this," she said. "There was nothing you could do."

"Whatever."

"There wasn't. Everybody will know that when they know what kinds of drugs she had you on."

"Yeah, you all know already, don't you? You can analyze my blood and everything and you know what she did to me."

"What? Do you think this makes you less of a man?"

Mac glared at her. "How do you see me?" he asked.

"I see you the same as I always have."

"No you don't. You feel sorry for me. You want to make sure I'm 'okay' all the time. What did they tell you? That I'm a suicide risk?"

"Mac, don't treat me like this. I am your friend."

"Some friend. You just want me to tell you that she forced me to have sex with her and there was nothing I could do to stop her."

"No, I think you want to tell it."

"Well, she did. She gave me drugs and well, I just gave in. It's funny I can remember all that, but I can't remember half of what else happened. I don't even remember you guys getting me out of there. I vaguely remember running through the sewer. Why do I have to remember that?"

Stella bit her lip to try and keep from crying. Mac looked at her. "Is that what you wanted to hear?" he asked.

"Mac, I know it will take time for you to get past all this, but keeping it bottled up inside you…I don't think that's the answer."

"I didn't mean to get angry at you. I shouldn't have blurted that out."

"Why don't you just start at the beginning and tell me what happened, all that you can remember?"

Mac looked at her a moment. He leaned back on his seat. He figured he would rather tell Stella than some therapist. At least Stella really cared about him. "I went out there to the construction site to talk to Walter Quincy about that guy that was murdered. He ran and I went after him." Mac closed his eyes. "I went into that old building and there were cock roaches everywhere and spiders. I think maybe that was why I kept thinking spiders were crawling all over me."

"I saw them," Stella said.

"I finally made it down to a basement and I found a room with pictures of me in it and candles lit everywhere. While I was staring at it, the door slammed behind me and locked. I still had my weapon, but it was one of those thick wooden doors with the lock on the outside and no handle on the inside. I wonder if it had been a prison before. I started getting really sleepy and the next thing I knew, I was at that old house."

"That place gave me the creeps too," Stella put in. "It was like a maze."

"Yeah, but it had the best library you ever saw. I wish I could go in there and see all those books again and see what all is there."

"Maybe you can."

"At first, I was just lying on the bed when I woke up. That Walter brought my breakfast. I tried to escape then, but he sprayed something in my face. Later that day, she started the IV's. I didn't know whether days were passing or not. I didn't know much of anything. I remember staring at the ceiling. I couldn't do anything else. I escaped while I was there and I crawled around through those passageways, but they caught me, and most everything after that is a blur. She kept me cuffed all the time after that, except when she gave me a bath."

Stella swallowed. "She gave you a bath?"

Mac nodded. "It was more than that though. Do you call that rape?"

"She took advantage of you. I think I would. You weren't willing."

"Oh, I was plenty willing after she gave me those drugs. I didn't know what I was doing in a way, but in another way, I…" Mac shook his head. "She said she was taking a prize to prison with her."

Stella stared at Mac. "Like what?" she asked.

"I don't know. I got a letter from her yesterday. She was just talking about that. Now, do you see why I don't want to get on a witness stand?"

"Yes. Maybe they can fix it where you won't have to."

"I'm sure she will gladly get up there and tell what all happened so she can humiliate me more. I'm sure she wants everyone to know that she took advantage of me and I gave in."

"Under the influence of drugs, Mac. She is the one who should be ashamed. She had to give you drugs to get you after she's wanted you all these years."

"So what? I'm sure she'll have a lot to tell."

"It's still not your fault. You're not guilty of anything."

Mac looked at Stella. "Thanks for listening," he said.

"I'm always here for you, Mac," Stella said. She reached to touch his face, but he backed away. Stella was surprised. "Mac, you don't have to be afraid of me."

"I'm not afraid," he said. "I just don't want to be touched like that."

"Like what?"

Mac looked at her. "You know that our relationship is more than friends. We just haven't crossed into that area. I don't know if I ever can now."

Stella stared at him a moment. "You've never said anything."

"Neither have you."

"You still don't have to be afraid of me."

"I said I'm not afraid. I'm just humiliated."

"You don't have to be with me."

Mac looked at her. "With you most of all."

"Why?"

"Because…"

"Because why?"

"Because we're so close. I just don't want you to see me as a victim."

"Mac, you were there when I was a victim."

"I know. I just want to get past this."

"You will."

When the movie was over, they went to Stella's apartment. "I could have taken you home first," she said.

"I like to make sure you get home okay," Mac said.

"You want to come in a few minutes?"

"Sure."

Mac followed Stella into the apartment and closed the door. "Just make yourself at home," Stella said. "I'll be back in a moment."

Mac sat down on the couch. He looked out the window at the moon. He liked being with Stella. She let him talk and listened. Soon, Stella came back dressed in a t-shirt and jeans. "I wanted something else on," she said.

"That's fine," Mac said.

Stella sat down on the couch. "So, you're going away for three days."

"Yes. Maybe I can get my head cleared."

"I hope so."

Mac looked at her. "Why don't you go with me?"

Stella was surprised. "Go with you?"

"Yeah. If you want to."

"What are we going to do for three days?"

Mac thought a moment. "Maybe we can find each other."

Stella stared at him. "What do you mean?"

"I want you to find me. I don't want to feel like this anymore."

Stella reached to touch his face. He didn't back away this time. "You're such a good man, Mac." She moved closer to him and kissed him gently. "That's the first time I ever kissed you."

"I liked it," Mac said. "Will you go with me?"

"Sure. I'll just tell the others that I'm going away for three days and to take care of the lab."

"I'm sure they will."

They stared into each other's eyes a moment. "I guess I better go and get some rest," Mac said. "I have to get packed."

"Me too."

They walked over to the door. "I'll see you in the morning," Mac said. "I'll pick you up at six."

"I'll be ready."

Mac left and Stella closed the door. She sighed. That kiss had only been a little peck, but her lips were still tingling. She didn't know how she would survive up there in that cabin with him for three days. She didn't understand why he wanted her to go, but she supposed she would find out soon.