It was Sunday morning when Odette had just gotten out of her shower, a towel wrapped around her chest, her hair damp and messy.
She'd arrived at Penn station feeling exhausted the night before, but it had been the good kind of tired. She'd spent most of the ride reading, her earphones playing her 'feel-good' songs making her grin at the excitement she felt, barely able to concentrate on what she was reading. It was like she'd been in a frozen state for the last couple of years, her life on hold, and now suddenly, her blood was pumping again at full speed, feeling alive.
She was almost glad to arrive at an empty house, Rory and Logan seeming to have gone out that evening, most likely for dinner or a movie, like they often did. And now she already assumed that they had probably left for Stars Hollow for the day as well, as Rory had told her on Friday.
She looked and felt quite giddy, and she was a little unsure, she would've been able to hide it in front of them. She wasn't really sure if she was ready to tell them, also she didn't know if Jess was ready for them to know. Throughout Aidrien's birthday party Jess had introduced her just by her nickname, and while they'd been comfortable physically he hadn't particularly said anything about them being involved. She had fairly little experience on official labels like that, her more serious relationships usually having involved either publicly announcing things to elders or on the contrary hiding out, which didn't really give her a lot of experience in defining the relationships she'd naturally formed out loud. Surely this was just too soon for such definitions anyways, and it would do no harm to delaying telling Rory and Logan.
Odette opened her bathroom cabinet, looking at the row of supplements she took daily, and went along her usual routine of swallowing her regular dose along with a few glasses of water. This routine of hers was her daily reminder of keeping her body happy, and maintaining the possibility of getting pregnant.
She knew that they hadn't really discussed this with Jess in detail - she only knew that the thought of kids wasn't a dealbreaker for him, or so he'd said. She didn't know how strongly he'd actually meant that. It wouldn't have been the first time man said things that they didn't necessarily mean or mean in the same temporal scale. She was conflicted - on one hand wanting to give them time to breathe, to do this right, see where it led, but on the other, having already postponed one IUI she didn't know how many more she should, as theoretically each one could have less of a chance in succeeding.
The thought of having a kid on her own had always been daunting of course, but it had its perks too. One of the main benefits for her was the lack of potential arguments - getting the one and only say in the parenting decision, but of course that too came with taking full responsibility for them. On the bright side, that type of independence also fostered independence, and many studies had proved that kids born to single-parent households were also more independent in their own lives. The financial aspects were not an issue, she'd already set aside a trust fund that was safe, if anything were to happen to her or her other assets, that would still be there. There was of course the question of if anything were to happen to her. But that was something she'd aimed to ask either one of her friends who already had kids or Rory and Logan, but only when she was already pregnant, as if fearing to jinx it. Most importantly she'd just dreamt of the undivided attention and unconditional love that she could share with her child, and receive the latter hopefully in return by not repeating the mistakes her own family had made. For months those arguments had been her driver, hear point in life. But now things didn't seem so black and white anymore. Having seen up close how endearing Rory and Logan were together, how they even hurt together, when they'd lost their first pregnancy, not that she had seen a lot of that but she could sense it. It was as if it was now their little secret, something inherently precious they shared, something that only they could create and form together. And however nice that idea felt - that possibility of having something like that with someone, she couldn't help but to feel, like if she waited, is she allowed herself to hope that it'd work out, she would be giving away some of that freedom she'd so desperately fought for at the same time. For all of these reasons, she could rush any of this - not the relationship, nor the baby.
Odette spent the late morning at the farmers market and cooking a lovely asparagus dish for herself for lunch, and read one other of Jess' books that had arrived in the meanwhile as entertainment. He'd been right, she did like the one that he'd sent her a little better. She briefly thought about the book he had been writing now. He was free to use whatever he took from life of course, and she truly appreciated him not lying about it to her, while he easily could've for now. In a way she felt the gesture was even a nice way to end her former life, not that she still felt like reading about it. What she needed now, was a new life... if only creating that one, would've been as easy as just writing a book.
On Sunday evening was sunny so she pulled on her Twin Fantasy floral leggings along with a matching top, tossing a dark purple lightweight running jacket over it and took a pleasant jog along the Hudson River Greenway. It was a great way to unhinge the brain and just move. She'd just reached the Wagner Park when her phone beeped. While she usually tended to ignore her messages as she ran, this time she had hoped to hear from Jess, hence he checked it just in case.
"Hey, beautiful. I just had to say that I don't know what you've done to me - I can't seem to concentrate anymore. Can't stop thinking about you. Jess," it said.
The message made her a giddy. She hadn't really attempted working yet, so she wouldn't know, but it did feel nice to get that message from him. In a way she also liked to be chased for a change, not that he would really need to.
She lowered the zipper on her jacket, to show a little cleavage and snapped a selfie of herself with the esplanade in the background.
She sent the photo along with a message - "Hi! Just out for a run. Anything I can do to help?" a cheeky smile escaping her lips while she sent it.
"As I said - gorgeous. I'm pretty sure the picture just made it worse," he texted back.
Their banter, with a touch of sexting, continued on and off for the entire week, making it inherently difficult for her to concentrate too. She almost felt like her cheek muscles were beginning to hurt from all the smiling.
For Jess the week was busy at work, and despite having difficulties concentrating, the excitement in him showed as with lot of his tasks he motivated himself to do them quicker. He also needed to pack, coming back to New York on Friday and staying for an entire week and a half this time. They'd agree on a date for Saturday evening somewhere along those texts, giving him a goal to look forward to.
Odette knew Rory had already hoped to have moved by now, but a week later since they'd been to Stars Hollow, their apartment still lacked the master bed. And with Logan on a shorter business trip to Miami for a few days, Rory hadn't quite felt like moving into the penthouse full time on her own either, despite the fact that she already used it as her office. Rory now sat in the dining room, eating chicken pakora and samosas while reading something on her tablet.
"You're going out?" Rory asked in passing seeing Odette lean against the doorway, checking the weather forecast on her phone, killing time, half a bottle of water in her other hand.
Odette had a date with Jess this evening, and this time she'd put in a little extra work, added some eyeliner, curled her hair and wore deep red lip ink. Jess had been a little cryptic to where they were going exactly, but he'd hinted heavily at going out in style, hence she'd chosen a dark orange lace pencil dress with a deep V-neck, that hugged her curves just right.
"Yeah, might as well have some fun," she noted. She had decided that she wasn't going to lie, but she wasn't ready yet to confess that she was going out with Rory's friend either, feeling like there needed to be something even more, an actually conversation on the subject, rather than just frivolous fun.
"Is it weird using the new name?" Rory asked somewhat surprisingly.
"It's a little. Like the people I know still refer to me with the old name, and I guess I should start correcting them but that just feels weird," she replied. There had been in fact just Colin so far who'd really used the name Celeste for her, Jess used her nickname, Este, when he did and to Logan it seemed she was always going to be just Odette or O, as he'd sometimes called her back in Europe.
"Did they just stick you with that name or…?" Rory inquired.
"Actually, no, it was the name I'd spoken to Colin about. Celeste was an old childhood friend of mine and Martin is just a very common French last name. I wanted to have a little bit of that French part with me, so it might explain some of my mannerism," Odette explained.
"That makes sense, Celeste," Rory tried the name out.
Odette smiled at her attempt to grow accustomed to it. She considered briefly if she should mention that she sort of preferred Este in fact, but that would've required at least some explanation.
"So did this mean that you gave up your inheritage and everything?" Rory asked her.
Odette didn't like talking much about her past that she'd just barely managed to escape. But she'd grown to understand a little of how Rory's brain worked. She was a writer as well, just like Jess, and understanding possible inner workings of whatever happened in life, either to her or other people, were potentially sources for their inspiration. And that didn't seem to just stop because Rory stopped being a writer in the classical sense.
"Yes. But it's not like I am bare without it. I got my trust fund years ago and I've managed fairly well with it on the stock market. I want to start a small business, begin with subcontracting some of my service through my contacts, to my contacts that I trust and don't mind the change of name. It will take a few years to get recognition, but so be it. I have somewhat other plans for the next few years anyways," she replied hopefully. Behind her hopeful self, she was a little worried on how her family had in fact taken her disappearance. She'd sent the press release, and they'd ran the story, but ever since then she'd tuned out whatever mentioned her old name. She didn't want to deal with it. It was perhaps a little counterproductive, not knowing how big of a scandal it really was. Whether her family had taken it calmly or with rage, remained a mystery. Her online presence was gone, her only real connection that her family could track her down with was in fact Logan but Logan knew it too and was ready to be alert and play the part if needed. Hence she was going to be glad to have them move out, despite them having grown into her family in a way.
"How have you been feeling so far?" Odette asked Rory in return, her mind trailing back to her pregnancy. She was happy for her, but there was a tinge of envy, she couldn't deny it. Rory probably didn't see it herself, but she showed a little too.
"Alright I guess. Physically hardly any symptoms, which is a little difficult as I could really use the reminder. Mentally I'm struggling a little, but I found a therapist, who helps. It's hard to shake the fear you know," she explained, and Odette replied with a nod. She didn't know anything about that part of being pregnant or loss even. She sympathized with Rory of course, and hoped all the best for them. She knew they'd been through a lot already and she really didn't feel like they deserved any more struggles in their life.
Odette's phone let out a single beep, another text from Jess. "I hope you're wearing your dancing shoes," it said.
The message made her smile broadly, at the same time making her want to sigh - oh those men! - realizing she needed to go back up and get changed, as pencil dresses not her orange Manolo Blahniks were the best option for dancing.
"Okay, I'll talk to you tomorrow, I got to go change," she rolled her eyes in a way that only women understood.