Okay so this chapter was actually going to be a lot longer, but then I got to... a certain scene... and realized I needed to split them apart so they'd be two separate chapters instead of one giant chapter, so i'm sorry if this one sorta ends feeling too abrupt! I really hope the wait will be worth it though hehehe. XD
Ritsu woke up early the next morning in a cold sweat after all the guilt from last night kept flashing through his mind to the point he barely got a wink of sleep. The nightmares he'd had of Mitsuru's sad eyes at being rejected by him were simply too much for him to bear.
"Mitchan-san.. I-If only I could tell you.. I.. I'm so so sorry…you're the last person I ever want to hurt..You mean so much to me, and I-"
He continued to wallow in his agony until finally he shook his head and decided that he would try to be productive about sorting out his feelings today instead of letting his negative thoughts consume him.
He got up from bed and walked over to his closet to get dressed, but as his hand hovered over a red floral patterned kimono, he shifted his eyes onto what he had hanging up a few hangers beside it. He stared at the clothing item for a moment as his trembling hands contemplated his options before he finally settled on it and removed it from the hanger.
He stood in front of his full length mirror and began to button up the white long sleeved dress shirt and adjusted the collar and cufflinks neatly. Once he felt satisfied, he put on a pair of beige dress pants complete with a black belt and tucked his shirt in. As he'd finished dressing, he walked over to his bedside table where his usual bow that he'd put it in hair sat, but instead, he opened the top drawer and dug up a dark purple ribbon. He kneeled in front of the mirror and gathered up his long beautiful hair and styled it into a loose ponytail, while the long strands still framed his face on both sides.
Once finished, he stared at his reflection not quite knowing how to feel about the man who was staring back.
"I.. wonder what Mitchan-san would think if she could see me now.. I- I know she said she and her parents would accept me no matter how I am.. But would she actually like me better this way..?"
He shook his head to dismiss the thought as he decided he needed to get out of the house to help clear his mind.
All the while, Mitsuru was sitting at her dining room table staring down at her breakfast not really eating as she cupped both her cheeks in her hands while very deep in thought.
"There must be some reason.. I know it's normal for him to break down over a lot of things, but that reaction was a bit too over the top.. He said he wanted to hug me, but he can't.. What could that mean..?"
She tried to pick apart every single interaction she'd ever had with Ritsu with a fine tooth comb to see if there was any sort of clue or indication that might explain why he would react in such a manner towards the simple act of being hugged.
Suddenly a lightbulb went off in her head and her expression saddened.
"I wonder if Ritchan-san has some sort of post traumatic stress due to whatever he's been through.. I- I can't pretend to know what his life's been like since he's rather secretive on the subject, but he did make it sound like there's some family issues.. Even back then, he acted jittery when I questioned him.."
She recalled the events of that day when she and Ritsu got takoyaki together and how he revealed that he was lucky to have loving parents whereas other members of his family were not so fortunate.
"But.. he said he can't even hug his own mother… Okami-sama told me the day I met her that Ritchan-san means the absolute world to her, and he loves her so dearly as well, so I can't imagine why he wouldn't be able to hug even her of all people..."
She scrambled her brain as she realized she was pretty much back to square one with her theorizing. She let out a loud defeated sigh as she gave up.
"I know it's not my place to try and pretend I understand if it's something he doesn't want to talk about.. It just hurts so much to see someone I hold so dear to my heart cry like that.. I suppose all I can do is take his word for it and not discuss it unless he decides to feel comfortable enough to open up to me about it.." She stared down at her phone as she considered calling him, but she hesitated.
"..Maybe I'll just pay him a visit later.."
After Ritsu left the house, he made his way to the bookstore and bought several books that dealt with the subject of love so he could better understand his newfound feelings for Mitsuru.
He blushed madly in embarrassment when the cashier giggled as she scanned all of the books and looked at him with a knowing expression, but once he paid and was handed the bag, he left in a hurry before a hysterical episode could occur.
As he began to walk back in the direction of his home with quickened steps, a voice suddenly called out to him.
"Ritchan-san?!"
This caused the color to drain from his face as he froze dead in his tracks; but when he turned around, it was none other than Tohru Honda instead of Mitsuru, both of whom were the only two who referred to him by this name.
"T-TOHRU-SAN?" He shouted in his flustered state and hid the bag behind his back worriedly not wanting anyone to see what he purchased.
She stepped closer and looked at him with surprise. "Wow, I almost didn't recognize it was you! You look so different! Is there something special going on for you today?"
"A-Ah-! N-no there isn't! I suppose I decided to try something a little different today-! W-what are you doing up so early, Tohru-san?" He inquired once he realized it was summer vacation for her as well, so she couldn't possibly be up this early to go to school.
Tohru smiled then raised up the bag she was also carrying. "I decided to wake up before the others so I could surprise them with their favorites for breakfast! I made sure not to get any leeks since Kyo-kun hates them so much!" She giggled sweetly with a blush.
Ritsu blushed in return by this as he also recalled how Mitsuru was so interested in what his favorite foods were the previous night, which he couldn't help but let tug at his heartstrings.
"T-Tohru-san, that's so thoughtful of you.."
Tohru titled her head curiously as she finally noticed him hiding something behind his back. "Did you buy something as well, Ritchan-san?"
When Tohru made a point to direct attention to his bag, Ritsu flailed around anxiously and dropped it, which caused the books to come spilling out. "A-AHH!" He shrieked mortified by this and threw himself onto the ground to try covering them up.
Tohru was more curious now as she bent down to pick one up he missed. She lifted it up and analyzed the title. "'Am I Worthy Of Her Love?'" She said and blinked a few times.
Ritsu blushed furiously as she spoke aloud the title of one of his books, so he quickly grabbed it from her hands and threw it back in the bag haphazardly.
"I-I'M SO SORRY! I- I DIDN'T MEAN TO GRAB IT SO FORCEFULLY FROM YOU! PLEASE FORGIVE ME I- I JUST- TOHRU-SAN, I'M BEGGING YOU, PLEASE DON'T TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU JUST SAW!" He folded his hands into a prayer and got down on both his knees as if at her mercy.
Tohru stood and stared down at the man in befuddlement before getting a twinkle in her eyes once she realized what this all meant. "Ritchan-san, you're in love?!" She exclaimed with an eager voice.
Ritsu looked up at her desperately with wide eyes. "P-PLEASE, NOT SO LOUD!"
As he pretty much confirmed her question, she lowered her voice but didn't double down on her excitement. "I promise your secret is safe with me. I am so happy for you, this is such wonderful news, Ritchan-san! Isn't love a beautiful thing?"
Ritsu flushed at her words, then figured since she promised she wouldn't tell, he decided he would confide in her in exchange for her secrecy. "I-I'm not entirely sure how to answer that since i've never felt this way about anyone before.. S-so that's why I purchased these books to help me learn…"
Tohru smiled at his wholesomeness then decided to try inspiring him again as she did back on the roof that day. "Ritchan-san, you are plenty worthy of love! You don't need a book to tell you that!"
"B-but, Tohru-san.." He gulped as he feared talking about it, but since Tohru was allowed to know about the curse, he decided he would share what happened last night to hopefully gain her insight on the situation.
"Y-yesterday she wanted to hug me and I- I couldn't do it even though I wanted to so badly! I-I'm so terrified that if she sees me in my cursed form, she will be repulsed and never want to see me again.. Akito-san has always told us that will happen when outsiders see us.. I don't want that to happen, and I don't want her to have to lose her memories either if word gets out! I- I don't know what i'm going to do, Tohru-san!" He covered his face in his hands as he was admitting all his thoughts out loud.
Tohru paused as she absorbed all of what he told her and felt immensely sorry he was going through such a rough predicament.
"Ritchan-san, I must confess, when I first learned of the curse, I was surprised to say the least, but I certainly wasn't repulsed, so I am living proof that Akito-san is not always right about that! I care far too much about everyone to ever dream about turning away now! I do understand your concerns though..I'm sure it's not so easy to tell her about the curse since even I had to get special permission, so I can't tell you what to do.. but perhaps this woman will have the same mindset as I do and she won't abandon you if she ever somehow finds out!"
Ritsu stared at Tohru with deep eyes filled with wonderment as she once again managed to say exactly what he so desperately needed to hear. "T-Tohru-san…"
Tohru smiled happily that her encouragement seemed to work. "By the way, if I may ask, is the woman you're in love with, Mitchan-san?"
Ritsu flushed anxiously at being called out. Were his feelings for Mitsuru that obvious?
"A-AHHHHH! I- I SHOULDN'T KEEP YOU ANY LONGER, TOHRU-SAN! I AM SO SORRY IF I'VE CAUSED YOU TO DELAY WITH YOUR SURPRISE OF MAKING BREAKFAST FOR THE OTHERS! T-THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR KIND WORDS, I MUST BE GOING NOW!" He bowed crazily several times before running away.
Tohru giggled as she watched him run off. "Hehe, I knew it."
Despite the fact Ritsu was home alone since his parents were staying at the hot spring resort for the weekend, he still felt compelled to lock himself in his room so nobody could somehow enter and tease him about reading these love books.
He'd spent a good 5 hours reading and felt a bit more in tune with his ever growing feelings, but suddenly the sound of the doorbell ringing made him shoot up out of his seat and hide the book under his pillow frantically.
"I-I'm not expecting any visitors, am I..? I wonder if it's Kagura-chan wanting to borrow another kimono.."
He got up and made his way to the front door and opened it before instantly wishing he could've had time to mentally prepare had he known who it was going to be.
"R-...Ritchan-san.." Mitsuru uttered softly in astonishment as she looked him up and down with wide eyes as this was the first time she'd seen him dress in men's clothing.
Ritsu blushed once he realized why she was so stunned and tried to hide himself behind the door as he wasn't sure if her reaction was positive or negative just yet. "M-Mitchan-san! A-Ah-! I- Erm-! W-what brings you here?"
Mitsuru still appeared rather caught off guard at seeing him in his current appearance. "I-I'm so sorry to stop by so unexpectedly like this! I knew I should've called first! I just- I.. wanted to make sure you were okay.." Her eyes still were glued to him curiously.
Ritsu cautiously opened the door and stood before her once more. He couldn't believe she was the one expressing remorse over last night since he felt the roles should be reversed.
"P-please don't be concerned over me, Mitchan-san! If anything, I've been so worried about you!" He exclaimed then looked down sadly. "..I'm.. I'm so sorry about yesterday.."
Mitsuru brought both hands up to her chest and looked at him with deeply compassionate eyes.
"Please do not apologize for anything! I care so much about you, so the last thing I ever want to do is force you to do something you cannot do! We can just put what happened last night behind us if it'll help ease both of our guilt.." She resolved not to bring up any of her theories and just try to move forward instead.
Ritsu felt he was going to tear up again, but he knew the last thing Mitsuru needed was more stress on his behalf. "M-Mitchan-san..I- I care so much about you too.. If that is what you want to do, I am willing..." He said shyly.
Mitsuru smiled a bit, feeling better. "It's such a beautiful day out, would you like to walk around the estate again?"
Ritsu was staring at Mitsuru almost in a trance then snapped out of it by her suggestion. "Y-yes, I could use some time out of the house…" He said as he'd been reading for hours and definitely could use some time to stretch his legs. He considered again what Tohru had told him earlier as he put his dress shoes on and stepped out.