Space is hard.
Growing up an only child, she was used to being by herself, but this type of solitude felt different. It was overwhelming, like the entire world was too big and too small at the same time. Nothing made sense.
The fight stuck with her, plaguing her thoughts at every spare moment, and she couldn't help but wonder just how Theo was handling this. According to Draco, he had been radio silent since the fight, and all Hermione had managed to get was an 'I'm alive' text two days prior.
He was an adult. A grown man. He was completely and entirely capable of taking care of himself. Rationally, she knew this, but nothing about this situation seemed rational anymore.
She was dating two men—one of whom was a distant member of the Royal family, and had witnessed what she'd hoped was not their falling out.
Perhaps that was that guilt that drove her to turn up at his house unannounced.
Or maybe it was that she missed him.
Possibly a bit of both.
Whatever the reason, Hermione found herself lounging on Theo's porch on a Thursday evening, listening to the distant sound of rush hour traffic as she waited for him to return home.
Her pencil skirt bunched around her thighs, bare feet swaying to a tune stuck in her head as she reclined back on his porch steps. Her thumb slid across her iPhone screen as she scrolled through Facebook, alternating between stalking old acquaintances and texting Draco.
Did he show up?
He was nearly as anxious as she was, though for an entirely different reason. Draco had attempted to do the same two nights earlier, arriving on Theo's porch with an expensive bottle of wine and a bouquet of sunflowers (Theo's favorite flower, apparently). He was prepared to apologize and grovel for forgiveness. He was not, however, prepared for Theo to not so much as look in his direction before disappearing inside.
Draco had waited for two hours before finally giving up and returning to the hotel he'd booked down the road.
Not yet.
Are you safe? Do you need me to come wait?
I don't mind.
Her teeth sank into her bottom lip, thumb hovering over her keys as she debated how to delicately decline his offer. It wasn't that she wouldn't have minded his company, in fact, it likely would have made the wait more bearable, but she knew he shouldn't be here when Theo arrived.
If she had any chance of finally talking to Theo—and hopefully talking with him about what happened—Draco needed to be far away.
I'm fine.
I know this isn't some fancy palace, but I assure you, Theo's neighborhood is safe.
She wasn't going to mention how her own neighborhood's crime rate compared because she was fairly certain, if Draco read the statistics, he would demand she never return.
Shifting on the stairs, she set her phone beside her before leaning forward, stretching her spine as she reached for her toes, and letting the slow pull of her muscles ease the discomfort that had settled in. She could feel the vibration of returned texts, and just as she leaned back once more, elbows sinking into the wooden steps to hold her aloft, the familiar purr of Theo's Audi echoed down his street.
She didn't bother reading Draco's reply; instead she fired off a hasty 'He's here' before she turned off her screen.
Toeing her discarded flats on, she rose from the steps, hands smoothing as many wrinkles from her skirt as possible as she watched him creep into his driveway.
Even through his dark shades, she could see the distinct look of surprise. His jaw was a little slack, brows lifting just slightly over the rims of his sunnies. She followed the Audi, lingering just behind the bumper as he rolled into the garage, the engine's rumble echoing in the confined space.
Her fingers twisted together in front of her, teeth gnawing on her bottom lip as she watched the red glow of the taillight cut off and the engine's purr subside. She wasn't afraid of how he'd react to her turning up. Nervous? Absolutely. But fear was certainly not in the mix.
She was worried about him, concerned this fight might actually be the final straw that ended his relationship and she wanted to talk to him about it. She wanted to try and reason with him—address his concerns, validate them, and work toward bringing her men back together.
This was something she did for a fucking living. Handling painful, awkward, and downright bothersome conversations was second nature. But feeling like the outcome of this situation might result in Theo and Draco ending a relationship that had lasted over a decade if she fucked it up, well... that was something that twisted her stomach into knots.
The car door opened and his long body unfolded from the luxury vehicle. Crisp tweed trousers, a cream button down, and a vest with a tie. Her mind instantly ran amok, delightful images of how she wanted to take her time undressing him from his three-piece roved through her mind like a wayward teenager and she had to mentally slap herself back into submission.
She had a reason for being here.
A fucking purpose!
One she couldn't forget, even if he did look absolutely delectable.
"Hi." She breathed her greeting, lips curling in a soft smile.
Theo reached up, pushing his sunnies to the top of his head before his hand smoothed across his jaw, fingers stroking through his five o'clock shadow as he looked her up and down. After two years, she'd grown accustomed to being able to read the emotion in his eyes. Her Theo-Meter was usually pretty spot on, but for the first time, she couldn't tell what the hell he was thinking.
"Hello." His dark green eyes flickered up to lock on hers. "What are you doing here?"
The question shouldn't have felt like a gut punch—it should have been expected—but the way in which he said it, like he couldn't fathom she'd turn up at his doorstep, hurt. She wilted, like week-old wild flowers, before she gulped down the stone in her throat and forced her smile wider.
"Just wanted to check on you. I hadn't heard—"
"I've been busy."
"I know."
They stood motionless, letting the tension that stretched between them fill the painful silence. She wanted nothing more than to close the distance between them, and wrap her arms around his thick frame. Only a few feet separated them physically, but it felt like infinitely more with how closed off he appeared.
"Can I come in?" Though she'd worded it like a question, there was really only one answer she was willing to accept tonight.
Theo was broken. He was hurting. He needed her.
And she was going to show him that, regardless if he knew it or not.
It was as if she could see the gears churn in his mind, contemplating her question, debating the merits of trying to deny her, and for a singular moment, she wondered how much of a fight she was going to have to put up. But then the tension seemed to dissipate. His jaw relaxed, and the tight grip he'd had on his keys loosened.
"Of course." The car door shut with the plush thunk that only luxury cars afforded, and he moved across the cramped single-car garage towards her.
His arm slipped around her frame, fingers caressing her lower back as he pulled her body into his orbit and his lips found her forehead.
"I'm glad you came."
Her heart soared as she leaned into his embrace, letting herself temporarily get lost in his intoxicating aroma of expensive cologne and stale coffee.
"I've missed you." She tipped her head back, chin resting against his chest, the buttons from his shirt tickling her neck as she smiled up to him.
"Oh?" Theo cocked his brow, the hint of a smirk lifting his lips. The jingle of keys signaled he'd deposited them into his front pocket, and shortly after, his hand was brushing through the side of her hair, the blunt end of his fingertips caressing her scalp as he tucked her hair behind her ears.
"Mhm… quite a bit." Her arms moved around his tapered waist to lock at his spine as she melted into his larger frame. "I might have gotten used to seeing you all the time."
"Ah. So my evil plan worked then."
"Evil plan?"
"Yes. You see, I figured if I forced myself around you enough, you'd grow used to my company and crave it."
"Ohh… like nicotine?"
"Or heroin."
Her brows lifted, lips pulling down to suppress a laugh. "Well then, that explains it." Rising onto the tips of her toes, she let her lips find his in the briefest of kisses. When she slipped from his grasp, her hand trailed along his arm until their fingers tangled. "Come on."
Hermione didn't wait for a reply; she turned and began to tug him through his garage toward the door that led into his house. She knew the route well, after many months of turning up at his place, and didn't even bother to ask for the code to the keypad lock.
She removed her hand from his to punch the keys before the sound of the lock sliding signaled she'd entered it right. Pushing into his house, she heard the familiar creak of the garage door closing as she moved through his laundry room toward his living room.
Her plan was already in motion—getting him to let her in the house was just phase one.
And on the rough outline on her phone, she had four more phases to work through until they reached the touchy 'let's discuss our mutual boyfriend' portion of the night.
But this plan she had? The one she'd spent house agonizing over when she should have been reviewing the new Policy and Procedures she'd asked her telework team to develop?
Well, it appeared Theo's own plans trumped hers.
Just as she began to walk past his sofa toward a favored armchair in the corner, a pair of large hands grabbed a hold of her hips and yanked her backwards.
"Oh!"
Her heart raced, feeling his touch morph from gentle to harsh, finding that familiar possession that made her skin tingle. From behind, one arm curled around her waist and his fingers fanned wide across her hips. The other rose, leaving a trail of fire in its wake as he ran it up her belly, between the valley of her breasts, until he reached her throat.
"What have I told you"—his wrist nudged her chin up, elongating her neck as he leaned in and ran the tip of his nose across her jugular—"about wearing these tight skirts around me, Granger?"
Her eyes fluttered closed, the initial fear that he'd reject her now seemed absolutely daft based on the very hard cock currently nestled tight against her ass.
"Uh...n-not to—ah!" His teeth nipped at a sensitive spot on her throat, clever tongue lavishing the reddened flesh. "Fuck, Theo."
He chuckled against her skin, fingers flexing around her throat, making it harder to suck in fresh air, but that half-fogged bliss he pulled her into with the simplest tightening of his grip sent a gush of heat to her panties. She was positive he would find it.
"I told you I was going to fuck you in it, Granger." His lips moved back up her throat and brushed across the shell of her ear. "I said I was going to put it around your waist so I could watch that pretty little pussy of yours swallow my cock."
Oh god.
Oh god.
Oh god.
"I think that's what you want… isn't it?"
Yes, Yes, Yes!
"You want to be stuffed full of my cock, don't you?"
She could only manage a whimper as she nodded, her fingers finding purchase against his forearm. That plan she'd been mentally reviewing moments earlier was gone, replaced by a rabid need to let him have his wicked way with her.
Subconsciously, she knew they shouldn't—they had a lot of big emotions to work through. But sometimes that caveman like hindbrain overpowered logic.
"Bend over the back of the couch." He released his hold, patting her ass with a firm smack.
Hermione practically scrambled to listen, hips pressing into the soft leather as she folded herself over untili just the tips of her toes dangled above the floor. Her hands were stacked under her cheek, body pliant and ready for his touch, as the need to please him intensified with each passing second.
The tink of his belt as it loosened, and drag from his zipper being lowered made her heart skip a beat. Despite the crisp autumn air, she could feel a light layer of sweat already clinging to her skin.
"What a good girl." His voice was syrupy and low, but the sharp click of his dress shoes against his floor made it almost erotic as he drew near. His hands were merciless as he yanked up her skirt. The sound of thread snapping that might have once caused her to protest, now set her blood to a boil.
Theo needed this.
He needed to control the situation.
He needed to be in charge.
And she needed him to feel whole.
Her hips rocked against the couch, lifting on her toes to allow him to push her bunched skirt higher around her middle before he yanked her underwear down her thighs. One palm cupped each ass cheek, kneading her flesh with a rough grasp, before he parted her folds with his thumbs. Though she didn't have a view of it herself, she could feel moisture drip down her thighs.
"My, my, my. What a naughty little thing, you are." His grip adjusted, and she could feel him part her wider with one hand as the other stroked across her exposed slit. "Already so wet for me."
"Fucking Christ." She turned to bite her wrist, unrestrained moans working up her throat as her hips rocked back against his exploring fingers.
He clicked his tongue, the condescending tsk timed with three quick slaps of his fingers against her cunt that did more for her pleasure than pain. "Now, now, you know my name. Don't you, Granger?"
Knew his name? She'd fucking sing it in a church choir if he wanted. She'd have it painted on billboards and graffitied under overpasses. She'd—
With no preamble, two thick fingers filled her aching cunt, curling and twisting to press against her inner walls and her world fogged over. "Theo, yes!" Behind her, she could hear the rhythmic tinkle of his belt as he touched himself.
"That's it… let me stretch out this perfect little pussy," he murmured through heavy breath, fingers sliding inside her, filling her in quick, rough twists that added fuel to the inferno of her desire. Her nails scratched against his couch, nicking the leather as she clung to his sofa, trying to find purchase so she could rock back into his hand, but just as quickly as he'd begun, his fingers slipped from her.
Her mind sizzled, snapping with need like rogue fireworks on the Fourth of July.
Why would he stop?
Wasn't he going to finish?
The questions, already poised on the tip of her tongue, needn't be born though. In the next second, she felt the hot brush of his cock at her sodden entrance. Her body trembled, calves burning from use as she arched her lower back, trying to poise herself perfectly for his entry.
"Just a bit higher...ahh! That's it." His hands curled around her skirt, using the ruined fabric as leverage to hoist her hips up as he slid home, his cock filling her in one fluid push. "Good girl."
Her breath caught in her throat as he bottomed out, slamming against her walls with an urgency she'd come to crave. Her body stretched to accommodate his girth. The pain-pleasure of this position was not one they'd tried recently, and she was reminded of that when he stole her breath with the next rough thrust of the reason..
"Fuck hell, Granger." He yanked up harder on her skirt until her toes no longer touched the ground, his hips snapping with abandon as Theo lost himself in whatever pleasure-induced healing that needed to happen.
Hermione could only cling to the couch, lost between bliss and pain, the maelstrom of senses heightened her push towards release.
Her body trembled, thighs quaking and spine arching, as she felt the precipice of her demise rapidly approaching. She couldn't even so much as give a warning as he drove her closer every time his cock filled her to the brim.
Distantly, she could hear his filthy praise, murmurs of his appreciation for her body egging them both on, but soon the wicked words faded under the heavy thump of her heartbeat.
And then it happened.
That snap of tension low in her stomach.
That mind-numbing oblivion.
She didn't know up from down.
She wasn't even certain she could form words or do much of anything beyond allow herself to be consumed by the sensation.
She tried to hold on, to grip the couch cushions turned life preservers as her body shuddered with drudging waves of her climax, but hope seemed lost as he continued to drive into her, filling her over and over and over again until her throat rasped, raw from the cries that filled the room.
And just when she'd thought he might keep her in this blissed out state for forever, the thick pulse of his own climax deep inside her body made her shudder.
A snarl of completion was followed by a deep rock of his hips, and he held himself deep inside of her as his seed coated her walls. Had she not been on the pill, this would have been one of those times she might have been concerned—hell, even in the half-fog of her come down, she debated cracking open the Plan B in her cupboard just in case.
He stayed inside her until his cock stopped throbbing, and only then did he lower her back down to the couch. The once demanding and firm touch gentle and tame as he gathered her against his chest.
Firm lips caressed her brow, praising her with the gentle touch. "So good… so bloody good," he murmured into her skin like a prayer, pressing kisses on both of her eyelids before he moved down her jaw.
Her arms looped around his neck, fingers sliding through his thick hair as she lavished in his attention, her abused core still throbbing.
"Stay the night… please stay, Hermione," he whispered against her neck. His fingers curled into her shirt and he pulled her close, as if afraid she might actually disappear if he let her go.
These cracks—no, fissures—in his demeanor showed signs of trauma. Theo wasn't closing himself off to be an asshole.
No.
He was scared.
He was that terrified fifteen-year-old boy, afraid that his sexuality made him unlovable. He was that nineteen-year-old who didn't understand how he could possibly love more than one person. He was that twenty-five-year-old telling his long distance boyfriend he'd accidentally gotten his latest fling pregnant.
He was broken—just as badly as she was.
And Hermione knew, now more than ever before, that her place in their relationship wasn't to come between Draco and Theo.
She needed to be the one to unite them.
She was going to be the glue that held them all together.
"Of course…" She cracked open her eyes, hand finding his cheek, guiding his face back enough so she could look him in the eye. She could see the pain he'd been trying so fucking hard to mask—a pain she knew tragically well. She needed to fix the three of them. To make this right. But first? First, she needed to show Theo he was never going to have to fight this battle alone. "I'm not going anywhere."
"How can you watch this drivel?" Theo managed around a mouthful of Ben & Jerry's, spoon bobbing with each word as he cocked a brow at the television screen.
Since their living room romp, the pair had only managed to relocate to his bedroom, though no more sex had occured—not that she would have complained. God no, but this wasn't about getting off. This was about helping her boyfriend.
So, instead of foreplay, Hermione did what she does best.
She DoorDashed ice cream and candy from 7-Eleven and a pizza from Round Table. She was here for the long haul with him this evening, which meant reinforcements in the way of unhealthy food and copious amounts of mind-numbing television were on the menu.
"Because while she is fucking annoying, Darcy is entertaining." Hermione dug into their shared pint of Chunky Monkey. "And girlfriend knows precisely what she wants, which I commend."
"Well, what she needs is a better plastic surgeon," Theo murmured as he went for another spoonful, his thick frame pressing against hers. He'd changed into a pair of joggers, the suit from earlier already neatly tucked away in his dry clean only bag.
This casual intimacy was what she'd longed for—finding a man she could actually be herself with. For years she'd feigned enjoying salads and trying to be this sweet little fae-like creature, but she never had to pretend with Theo.
She could eat pizza and ice cream in front of him. They could war over the last breadstick and whether Maltesers were really that different from Whoppers. She could even burp without shame if she felt so inclined—but farting was still strictly off limits.
This was precisely what she had longed for, which is why she wanted to help. Or rather, try and help.
Before she was his girlfriend, she was Theo's fuck-buddy therapist. She'd listened to him talk about his significant other on particularly bad days and offered advice. She was impartial back then, and though now she absolutely, without a doubt had ulterior motives (i.e. making sure her boys stayed together), it didn't stop her from not wanting to try.
Sliding the nearly finished pint into his lap, Hermione licked her spoon clean before setting it on the plate of pizza crust on the nightstand closest to her side of the bed. The night was winding down with the clock just ticking into double digit territory, and she knew that if she didn't act fast, they'd both end up asleep before long.
With that in mind, she grabbed the remote from between their thighs and hit the power button, which managed to earn a confused look from the prone Theo beside her.
Shifting on the bed, Hermione moved to sit on her heels, the boxers she'd nicked from his drawer digging into her thighs. "I think we should talk." Her fingers twisted the hem of his borrowed undershirt, body primed and ready to fight for him should he feel the need to flee.
Theo knew—she knew he knew. If the crestfallen dim of his eyes wasn't clear enough, the way he suddenly grew very interested in scraping the bottom of the pint of ice cream was.
"Oh? What about?" He didn't even bother to glance up as he took another bite.
"Theo."
Scrape… scrape… scrape…
"Theodore."
Scrape… scrape… scrape…
"If you don't look at me, so help me God I am—"
"Okay, okay, okay! Fine." He tucked the pint between his legs, huffing as he looked over at her. His jaw was tight, mouth moving around words he hadn't spoken aloud as she gave him an imploring look. She knew this wasn't going to be easy—hell, she never expected that—but for him to be so… childish about even beginning this discussion was certainly not what she'd hoped.
"Do we have to?" he questioned after a moment, hands coming to rest behind his head, elbows splayed wide. "Can't we just pretend like it never happened and forget about it?"
"I'm afraid not." She reached out, taking the pint from between his thighs and she leaned to set it on the nightstand behind her. "I just… want to make sure we're okay."
Theo closed his eyes, tongue sweeping across his lips as he took a heavy breath. "Granger, we're fine. I'm not angry with you for accepting his invitation… I'm just—"
His voice warbled, and he cleared his throat in some attempt to pull himself together. His face scrunched up, eyes shutting tight as he fought for control over his wayward emotions. Reaching out, Hermione let her hand rest on his bicep, thumb stroking across the smooth skin.
"Theo, it's okay. You don't have to explain. I get it." She didn't need some heartfelt spiel about how painful it was to be excluded—especially from someone he loved. She wasn't stupid, she understood. The truth was, she wasn't even sure if she could take that deceit.
And seeing this man, one she'd come to care for so deeply, be brought to tears over it—well, it made her throat tighten.
"I can't… I can't keep making excuses for him." His bottom lip quivered, the cadence of his words drawn out. "We've been together for half our lives. I know him—I know everything there is to know about him, and I just… I just can't keep waiting around for him to realise our love isn't something to be ashamed of."
"Theo, I don't think he meant to hurt you by inviting me."
"I don't think he did either, but that's part of the problem. He's used to me forgiving him for being careless. He's used to me accepting that we have to stay secret and… and I'm just not sure I can do that anymore, Granger." His eyes cracked open, sparkling with unshed tears as he looked up at the ceiling in some meek attempt at preventing them from falling, but it was a losing battle.
The tears clung to his five o'clock shadow, staining his cheeks with evidence of his sorrow. "Santa Cruz was… the first time in a long time I've got to be with him publicly, and it was nice. And being with you, seeing how real relationships work—it's just… that isn't working for me anymore. I have more to think about now. I want more. I want to be public. I want to make future plans, but I also want my son to grow up knowing his Mylo isn't hiding him away because of some bigoted traditions."
If her heart wasn't already breaking on his behalf, now it lay in a thousand tiny pieces inside her lungs. She felt her own tears spill from her cheeks, as she watched him move to cover his face, letting loose a deep, guttural sob.
"I love him… so much but I can't. I can't anymore," he managed through his tears, shoulders shaking.
"Oh, Theo." She scooted across the bed and crawled beside him. Trembling hands moved to guide him toward her, until his torso was practically in her lap. Tucking his face in the crook of her neck, she ran her palms across his shoulders like she would Teddy or Eli when consoling them. "I'm so sorry, Theo. I'm so sorry."
His arms tightened around her middle, fingers curling into her shirt, holding her like a lifeline as he let loose tears that she suspected he'd bottled up since the incident. He didn't hide from her, didn't try to pretend like he was strong and hold in his sorrow. Instead, he seemed to do the opposite, relying on the strength she was providing him, letting her comfort and soothe him as he finally let go.
She didn't know how she was going to do it, nor when, but she knew her time for fixing this, for making them see how much they loved one another, how much they all needed to be together, was fleeting.
author's note:
/sneaks in one extra chapter in countdown.
HIiiii. I'm not sure what to put here. Sorry i've been absolute trash as responding to reviews. I'll work on that (amongst the numerous other faults I have). massive shouty bolded underlined thanks to dreamsofdramione for being the best beta in the world, and lumoslyra for alphaing the shit out of this. ya'll don't even know the amount of work and dedication they've put into this story. Go check out their works, they're both fabulous writers!
you can find me on facebook under msmerlin eff. friend me, ask me questions, or just slide into my dm's to talk!
until next time. xx