Chapter 10:
Lizzie woke up with a dreadful headache. The note from Mr. Darcy had been crumpled and thrown on the floor. She let out a yawn, stepped on said crumpled note and walked towards the mirror,where she stared at her reflection. She had fallen in love Mr. Darcy, she finally admitted it to herself. She could not believe that in a month of his acquaintance, a mere month, in which she first thought him rude and arrogant, she fell in love with a very sweet and caring gentleman, protective of his family and those he loved.
Memories flashed through her mind—his knowing eyes, his dashing smile, and the way he shifted on his feet when he felt uncomfortable. She could still feel the touch on her hand, when he held on a second too long, both of them blushing profusely. Had she been mistaken? Had he really not returned her affections?
It was hard to know what had been acting and what had been real—but one thing was real, how she felt.
A knock interrupted her thoughts.
"Lizzie? May I enter?" said Jane, knocking softly on the door. She opened the door slightly, sticking her head with hesitation, unsure if her dear sister wanted company. Lizzie had retired early the previous night, had not come for supper, and was now still in bed. Or had been, until mere moments ago.
"Of course" said Lizzie forcing a smile, "Good morning Jane."
"Is it?" asked Jane with a knowing smile. She walked gracefully into the room, the skirts of her robe and nightgown brushing against the wooden floor.
"Every morning is good...the nights are a different story. You know my philosophy on life, remember the good, let go of the past" said Lizzie, now turning around and facing her sister. Lizzie walked back towards the bed and sat on the edge. Jane twisted her head and pursed her lips, studying her sister's composed but yet painful demeanor.
"Yes" said Jane in a soft whisper. She came closer to Lizzie, sitting on the edge of the bed next to her. "What happened with Mr. Darcy?" inquired Jane, now looking straight into Lizzie's warm eyes. They were no longer crying and no longer wet—but their general sparkle seemed to be missing.
Lizzie laughed and then a sob threatened to appear but she took a deep breath, thankful for Jane's calming prescience.
"It was all a ruse" said Lizzie, shrugging her shoulders. "He insulted me and thus ruined all of our chances, our only chances for marriage proposals. So we stroke a deal, he would pretend to court me thus increase my and by extension our desirability, and I would save him from interested mothers and their daughters for he has no intention of marrying, at least not now. The ruse worked" said Lizzie, picking up the crumbled note that lay at her feet and showing it to Jane.
"Oh Lizzie" she said raising her delicate hand to her mouth, "You love him" she said, not as a question but rather as an observation.
"Does it matter? He clearly does not," said Lizzie.
Jane thought differently. She had seen them together but she did not want to raise her sister's hopes up, not knowing with certainty. However, to Jane it seemed he had let her go out of love, perhaps he was unsure of her feelings. She bit her lip nervously, in pain for her dearest sister.
"Do not fret over me, I'm being courted by Lord Sandhurst" said Lizzie, smiling widely, perhaps too widely.
"Do you love him?" asked Jane, peering into her sister's eyes. Lizzie pondered the question and then turned her head to the side before answering:
"I do care for him answered Lizzie and I think I could grow to love him" she said, folding her hands on her lap.
Jane simply nodded and squeezed her sister's hand.
"It shall all be good in the end" said Jane in a whispered prayer.
"Indeed" said Lizzie, smiling. "Come, let us make haste and prepare ourselves for morning calls."
After said conversation the ladies donned in their morning dresses and had one of the maids fix their hair. That morning Lord Harris and Lord Sandhurst called on the ladies together and asked to go for a walk around the promenade. They graciously accepted, a maid followed them closely behind.
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Lizzie could not believe it had been a week since she last seen Mr. Darcy. In that time she became accustomed to Lord Sandhurst's attentions and in his presence she enjoyed his company but in the moments she was alone, she found herself looking and hoping for Mr. Darcy.
Lady Whistledown reported that Mr. Darcy was returning to Pemberley for the rest of the Season, how that lady (or was the author even a lady?) got her information was beyond Lizzie. She had enough to worry about than to think about Lady Whistledown's identity.
Her short reprieve was interrupted by Charlotte Lucas, who had found her in the park, sitting by a bench.
"Lizzie!" exclaimed Charlotte, sitting next to her friend. Charlotte was smiling, having enjoyed that morning's walk.
"Dearest Charlotte please come join me" said Lizzie, motioning for her friend to join her on the bench.
"I have not seen you in ages, every time I call you are in the company of Lord Sandhurst. He seems very insistent in his pursuit" observed Charlotte, looking at her friend as if trying to read her mind.
"Yes" said Lizzie curtly.
"Oh Lizzie I know you wanted a love match and perhaps this shall still be it" said Charlotte, not wanting her friend to lose a very respectable chance. She would be Lady Sandhurst and have a life of comfort, not to mention, a husband who doted on her, for if Charlotte was unsure of Lizzie's devotion, she was very sure of Lord Sandhurst's.
"I know what you are going to say and I do not want to come off as ungrateful. This marriage would provide me with security" said Lizzie, knowing her friend too well.
"And love, he clearly cares for you" said Charlotte.
"Yes, yes he does" said Lizzie, not wanting to think on this subject. She knew a proposal was evident and she did not know how she really felt about it.
"Well then you shall be very happy" said Charlotte, who was as unromantic as possible.
"Indeed" said Lizzie forcing a smile. "Are you attending tonight's ball? It is at Lady Sandhurst's home, the dowager."
"Yes, we received an invitation, which was very kind, since we are not part of high society. Is she Lord Sandhurst's mother?" asked Charlotte.
"Yes. I had the pleasure of meeting her last week, she is quite lovely and invited me for tea" said Lizzie nonchalantly.
"Yes I recall you mentioned it and I believe I also read it in Lady Whistledown's gossip paper" noted Charlotte.
"Most likely" said Lizzie with a shrug. She hated Lady Whistledown. If it wasn't for her reporting on the rumor, she would have never met Mr. Darcy and would have been very happy with Lord Sandhurst's attentions.
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It seemed that everyone around her understood the significance of being asked to attend Lady Sandhurst's Ball, for her mother, Mrs. Bennet, instructed the maid to do Miss Lizzie's hair which much care. Mrs. Bennet event lent Lizzie a pair of diamond earings, which her own mother had given her.
"You look lovely" said Mrs. Bennet, her eyes tearing up. "I shall have two married daughters by the end of the seasons—to Lords! Oh my, I may need my salts! HILL!"
Lizzie tried not to roll her eyes as she looked in the mirror at her reflection. She looked beautiful—she was wearing a new gown her mother had insisted on ordering for her. It was silver and had delicate beading all over the delicate material. Her hair was up with beautiful sparkles applied throughout. The only one who did not look happy for Lizzie was Lydia, who was still angry with her mother because of their conversation this morning.
Lydia came home happily, announcing that she had met the most charming and handsome officer and wanted to invite him for supper one night. Mr. Bennet and Jane were openly aghast, the lack of propriety. Mrs. Bennet looked thrilled for she once was young and ran after redcoats herself but Jane's timely reminder that the two Lords who were currently courting her eldest daughters would highly disprove of such forward behavior, were sufficient for Mrs. Bennet to scold Lydia for meeting a stranger and to suggest an invitation when they were in London, not in the country. At Longbourn, Mrs. Bennet was known for her generosity and when the Militia were stationed in Meryton, she made it a point to have officers over for meals. But they were in London, in the midst of the ton, and thought it had taken years of convincing and saving, Mrs. Bennet finally understood the significance.
The Bennet family arrived fashionably late and were greeted warmly by the hostess, Lady Sandhurst, who took an extra moment welcoming Miss Elizabeth. If Lizzie already had her heart in her throat, this only made things worse. She could feel all eyes on her, as if there were a general expectation that something grand would happen tonight.
She had saved her first dance for Lord Sandhurst and there was a general murmur at they approached the dance floor. Lady Sandhurst and Mrs. Bennet were talking rapidly, watching the couple dance with approving eyes. After their dance ended, she was whisked off by Lord Harris, then Lord Sandhurst's younger brother, then his cousin, and then ready to take a break, she sat out for one dance and sat with her parents.
"May I have this dance?" said Lord Sandhurst, after greeting her mother, father, and Miss Mary, who was likewise sitting out this dance.
"Lord Sandhurst we have already danced" said Lizzie, giving him her hand hesitantly. She looked at her mother and father, the first who nodded eagerly, and the former who looked gloomy. Mr. Bennet hated himself for the position he put his daughters in and seeing the fear in Lizzie's face and feeling the lack of excitement in her being, made him feel sad to the core.
"I am aware" he answered, smirking.
"If we dance a second dance, you do know what impression that would give" whispered Lizzie, standing up and feeling him lean in towards her.
"And what impression have my actions given thus far, my dear miss Elizabeth?" he whispered in her ear. She blushed becomingly.
"I shall be honored, my Lord" said Lizzie, her heart beating fast. She felt that this was as if she had accepted his proposal.
"The pleasure is always mine", he said, a smile on his face.
She could feel the murmurs as he led her to the dance floor, her mother who had been angry at me Darcy and promised to call him out shall she ever lay eyes upon him, now seemed on the edge of tears of joy, Mr. Darcy clearly forgotten. Lizzie rolled her eyes. Lord Sandhurst saw her and smiled.
"She has every reason to be happy" he said, noticing her reaction at seeing Mrs. Bennet practically crying out of joy.
"I beg your pardon?" asked Lizzie, not realizing he had noticed the interaction.
"Your mother has every reason to be happy" he said.
"Yes, indeed she does" said Lizzie, swallowing hard. She had no idea where this would go, but she was not sure she was ready for it either way.
"Miss Elizabeth, you must know that in all of my outstanding qualities there is one that supersedes them all" he began, raising an eyebrow.
"Oh?" asked Lizzie in a teasing tone.
"I am extremely jealous" he said in a whisper.
"Oh" she said softly, now knowing exactly where this was going.
"I am ready and anxious to ask you an all important question but I must know if your heart is otherwise engaged" he said, "I know you would never lie to me. I know you wanted a love match and I do not want to settle for anything less"
"I would not lie to you, your lordship" said Lizzie, biting her lip nervously. She tried to be the example of composure, knowing her every move was being watched. It had been watched since the moment she was mentioned in Lady Whistledown's paper.
"Please call me Anthony" he said, with a smirk. She smiled.
"Very well, Anthony" she said, emphasizing his name. Even when she could feel her heart threatening to leave her body, she could always count on teasing and wittiness to calm her down, to feel like herself.
"It is now your turn to ask me to call you Elizabeth" he murmured.
"You just did", teased Lizzie and he noticed the adorable dimples on her cheeks.
"Oh lord you are beautiful" he said, letting out a heavy sigh. Lizzie blushed, feeling uncomfortable.
"My lord, I, I am afraid I do not know...oh I think I need a moment of fresh air" she said, thankful the dance was nearly over and her departure would not cause a scene.
"Of course" he said masking his disappointment.
Lizzie nodded in gratitude and walked as fast she could, without drawing attention, to the balcony, where some couples were talking in whispered flirtation. She felt as if she were to burst. There was a very pretty garden just under the balcony, with hedges and what seemed like a maze. She could not stand being looked at any longer—and she feared most of all that Anthony would come after her. So she took the stairs, her skirts rustling as she went, and finally caught her breath against a hedge.
"You cannot marry Lord Sandhurst!" said Mr. Darcy gasping, catching up to her. Lizzie looked at him incredulously—he was not supposed to be at the Ball and if the gossip was right, he should have been at Pemberley. He noticed the question on her face but he would not answer her that now, he came with one goal and one goal only.
"Why-ever not?" said Lizzie, defiantly, turning around and facing him. She was breathing heavily, her chest rising in rapid motions. "He is a gentleman, kind, smart and interested in me."
"Do you love him?" asked Mr. Darcy in a soft voice, taking one step closer to her. She took a step backwards and found herself with her back against a hedge of bushes.
"Love? This from the man who vowed to never love anyone other than himself?" asked Lizzie, hating how her body reacted when he was this close to her, for now he was mere inches from her face.
"How dare you insult me thus?" he said, taking another step forward, his eyes on her mouth. His words harsh but his tone soft, said as a caress.
"And how dare you question my intentions? I choose to whom I marry, not you. This farce is over! I do not need nor require your help! You disappeared and left me and now—" she said.
"Elizabeth" he said in a whisper, taking another step forward where they were now standing very close, she could feel his breath on her lips, "You cannot marry him."
"You already said that" she said breathlessly.
"I did" he answered, smirking and then without thinking he brought his lips to hers, his hand sliding in her back, pushing her against him. He was soft, he was desperate, he was rough, and she was melting with every kiss.
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Thank you so much for the lovely reviews! This chapter is for you :) I was blown away! I love seeing them throughout the day and they are inspiration to sit down, write, and get another amazing chapter out asap!
Hows this chapter for adding some scandal, RobinLea? ;)
To all the reviews about Kitty and Bingley: I like them together and though I love making new characters, its nice using the ones that jane brilliantly created. I'm going to put them in some situations and see if sparks fly-sometimes they do and sometimes they don't. I had actually originally planned for jane and bingley to get together in this story but it just didn't flow, i didnt him standing out enough and her finding interest in him, specially when she was the incomparable of the season.
to all the back and forth about darcy and giving him a title, first of all, I loved the discussion, it was so fun to read and I'm all for people sharing their opinions, even if they disagree. I know there is something very fun at marrying a lord or a duke, but I think that Mr. Darcy is great all on his own and specially for this story, lizzie has to choose between a titled gentleman or just a rich gentleman, and follow her heart-where will heart take her?
OnCloud, you made me blush :)
Nadia81, I too, like Lizzie am too busy to ponder her identity but I should think it is rather obvious...or is it? ;)