Elijah stayed with Elena until she fell asleep again, slipping out before morning set. They didn't do much talking after the swing. Instead, they calmed one another's fears by being with one another. There was nothing sexual about it – Elena didn't dare with Jeremy in the next room over. Instead, they laid in one another's embrace, enjoying the peace that each other's company brought.
In the morning, Elena started her day with coffee and soon after getting ready, went to face the Salvatore brothers. She had much to talk about with them, and had apologizing to do as well. As she made her way through her routine, she couldn't help but let out sighs. She wasn't sure what she was going to encounter with them. Damon had not taken the whole explanation well when she came home. She could only imagine what he was going to say to her when they were in private.
"I can do this," Elena told her reflection. Pausing, she brought her hand up to her face. The idea of Tatia and Katherine still lingered in the back of Elena's mind. Sharing their face was something that always haunted her, and it didn't help that Caroline and Bonnie made it clear as well. She knew Elijah saw her for her, but it didn't qualm any of her fears when the only face that stared back at her was one that her lover fell for decades ago, over and over again.
Swiftly making an exit from her room to run from what stared back at her, she drove to the boarding house and awaited the wrath of the Salvatore brothers.
"Elena," Damon said surprised when Stefan ushered her into the house. "What, no Originals with you?"
From the moment she laid eyes on Damon, she knew how this was going to play out. While unpredictable in his actions, Damon was very predictable in dealing with his emotions. She had hurt him in leaving, and instead of just saying that, Damon was one to lash out. It was as if that was the only way he knew how to express himself. "Hi Damon."
Pulling at her leather jacket sleeves, Elena realized she was beginning to pick up her old habits. She used to pull on the long sleeves of her shirts for comfort, as if it could shield her away from the bad. Clearing her throat, she stopped her compulsive behavior and walked down to the middle of the parlor, taking a seat on one of the couches.
"What are you doing here, Elena?" Stefan wondered. From what he gathered she wasn't here to see Alaric, and she seemed nervous, shifting in her spot as she stayed seated on the couch.
"I came to talk to you guys. And to apologize," she sighed.
"Well," Damon said with a cocky smile as he went to pour himself a drink. "As much as I'd love to hear about that, I'm on Rick duty. His alter-ego self has something of…need…"
Elena knew Damon was being intentionally vague, but she couldn't help how her curiosity piqued. Looking over to Stefan who was shaking his head, as if saying 'don't ask', she watched as Damon left with drink in hand down to the cellar.
"So," Stefan said coming to sit down across from her.
"You have your humanity back on," Elena noted. The look of sadness and guilt on Stefan's face didn't escape Elena's eyes.
"I do," he confirmed. "I-…I'm sorry for everything I said and did when my emotions were off. I-…"
"It's okay Stefan," she said with a sad smile. "A lot happened and it was Klaus who compelled you to." The words on Elena's lips rang in her ears and doubt casted inside of her. Klaus had made Stefan turn off his humanity and do horrible things. And it was all for Klaus' own amusement and fun. Was she wrong about him? Was the Klaus she spent time with all these months just a fairytale? Could her friends be right?
"And I'm held accountable for some of the things you did," Elena sighed pushing away her persistent thoughts. "I was the one that had you break Damon's neck the night of the ball. And I set you up against him – your own brother. I'm sorry for that."
Stefan sighed and sat back. "Elena, you have no reason to be sorry for that. That had nothing to do with you. Yes, you asked me, but it was the only way to get Damon out of the way so you could see Esther."
Elena's heart ached, remembering how Damon said he loved her and cared for her and she rejected him. She would have to apologize for that as well.
As they discussed more and talked about Esther, Elena looked to the basement door and hesitated. "Stefan, what is going on with Ric's alter-ego? What is he hiding?"
It was truth time and Stefan dreaded it. "There is a white oak dagger. We-…we all had one – Damon, Alaric and I. We found out that the sign that Wickery Bridge was made out of was the last of the white oak tree. So, the three of us made daggers. We had a plan to go after all of the originals.
Elena took in a sharp breath.
"We didn't know what had happened the night of the ball, but Damon felt that Klaus and his family were up to something. And I couldn't really argue that point. But then you showed up with them and, well…" Stefan sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "They brought you back –or were helping to protect you at least. They stood by you when we didn't. And so after you left the other day, I decided to burn them. I found Damon's in one of his hiding spots and I burned the both of ours. As for Ric, he doesn't remember. His alter-ego hid it somewhere that he has no knowledge of. And now, if we don't get it back…."
"You could start a war," Elena finished for him. If Klaus or any of the other Original siblings were to find out that Damon, Stefan and Alaric had stakes which could kill them, they would torture and kill whomever until all such weapons were taken and burned.
Stefan nodded.
Elena swore under her breath and sat back on the couch. The idea of a white oak stake out there somewhere made her scared for Elijah and his family. She could lose him or one his siblings with that out there. A fleeting thought crossed her mind to stake Klaus with it. Her past feelings of pain and heartache were coming back to her as her loved ones reminded her of what Klaus took from her, but she brushed it away.
No, not even Klaus should get a dagger. He was changing. And peace was starting to be settled amongst the members of the family. No, the Mikaelson family has been through enough.
"So, what are you guys doing to Ric? Is he safe?" Elena worried for her step-in guardian's safety. Not only was his alter ego playing a dangerous game by toying with the Orginal family, but with Damon in a grumpy mood, who knows what he may do to Ric.
Stefan nodded. "He's fine. We haven't done anything to him. Damon and I have been taking shifts watching him, waiting to see if his alter-ego will ever make an appearance so we can have a chat."
Before Elena could ask more, the door to the basement opened and Damon came trotting over, empty glass in hand. "Your turn, Saint Stefan. Ric said he wanted better company. Maybe you can sing him a tune. That'll make the hunter come out for sure."
Elena and Stefan rolled their eyes at Damon. Looking back at Elena before leaving, Stefan gave her a sad smile. "Thank you for apologizing and explaining things to me, Elena. We will do whatever we can to help you."
Elena returned the expression and nodded. The two didn't need to verbally acknowledge there was now a rift between them. It felt different and Stefan no longer held a part of Elena's heart like he once did before Klaus had him turn his emotions off. He lost her, and they both knew that.
"So, Stefan told you, huh?" Damon asked coming to sit next to her on the couch with a renewed glass of light brown alcohol. He crossed his legs, his ankle resting on his knee as he sat back looking at her.
"He did," she sighed. "What were you thinking Damon? Going after the Originals?"
Damon's eyes turned dark. "I was thinking that you had possibly been kidnapped or gone who knows where and it was their fault. If you hadn't had Stefan snap my neck, maybe I would have thought a bit differently."
Elena put space between them, sliding to the opposite end of the couch. "Would you?"
"What is that supposed to mean Elena?"
She could tell he was angry and the conversation between them was getting overly tense fast. "I'm sorry," she blurted out. It felt good and right to say that to him. She had been wanting to for a while. "I'm sorry for having Stefan snap your neck and I'm sorry for the way I reacted the night of the ball when you told me you loved me. What I said was wrong and cold. I didn't mean it the way it came out."
Damon sat uncomfortably, holding back snarky retorts. He wasn't sure why he was holding back. A part of him wanted to hurt Elena as much as she hurt him. But the look on her face showed how guilty she felt. And he was a sucker for her. He could never stay mad at her.
"I'm also sorry for running off. I-….I wanted to do what was best for everyone, and in that moment, what I thought was best was to not have me around."
Damon snorted and tossed back his glass of bourbon with one shot.
"I made a choice," she told him, feeling strong on her words. A rush of courage and energy surged through her. "I made a choice and I'm sorry it wasn't one you liked. But I made it out of love for all of you – to protect you. You may think you don't need protection but you do, Damon. You all do."
"Elena, we are vampires," he said venomously. "While I appreciate that sentiment, let's read between the lines of your apology. You didn't do this for everyone else you love, you did it for you. And your precious Elijah. You did it to save his ass and you picked a side."
"There are no-"
"Oh, wake up, Elena! Yes, there are sides!" he argued before she could finish what she was saying. "Of course, there are sides here! It was us against Klaus and you went and picked them. You picked Klaus! And it sickens me that you think this family is worth giving a damn about. They hurt you. They betrayed you."
"And you haven't?" Elena bit out before she could stop herself. Immediately she regretted it because Damon's eyes went dark and he got up from his seat. "Damon, I-…"
"They're just using you," Damon said darkly. "You think you know them; you think they are changing," he told her, repeating her words she had told Stefan when he was talking with her moments ago. "Vampires don't change Elena. As soon as the threat of their existence is gone, what then? You think your precious Originals will just live here in Mystic Falls and get along? You think Klaus won't keep killing for the fun of it? Or need your blood to make more hybrids?"
Elena shook her head.
"Or what, you think Elijah will save you? The noble vampire," Damon mocked. "You think that will really happen Elena?! They look out for themselves, for their family. You are not a part of that. You are nothing to them."
Elena continued to shake her head. Damon was wrong. He had no idea of her and Elijah's relationship. She knew she meant something to him and the family.
Silence was cast upon them, slowly helping to deescalate the heat of their arguing.
"You're with him, aren't you?" He asked her softly as he stood by the fireplace. He knew the answer, but to hear it was another thing.
Elena hesitantly nodded. She didn't want to hurt Damon, but he needed to know the truth and where the two of them stand. "I love him."
A loud crash sounded behind Elena and a shattered glass now laid on the floor by the banister of the parlor. "He is not the good guy Elena!" Damon snapped striding over to her face. "He betrayed us the night of the sun and the moon curse. He chose family over you. He chooses family."
"Damon," Stefan's cautious voice echoed as he came up from the basement to assess what was going on.
"He didn't run after you because you mean something to him! He did it to save his own ass. He did it because his own life is being threatened and his precious family's."
A bile of emotions swelled in Elena's throat, but she continued to deny his words, shaking her head in refusal. She tried to ignore the tears pooling behind her eyes and push away the rising feelings of doubt, hurt, and anger.
"Vampires are brilliant liars, and he is one of them. He's an Original. Wake up Elena! You're stupid if you could think that he could love yo-" Damon stopped himself. The room had gone deathly silent.
"Damon," Stefan called cautiously again, glancing to Elena and then the rest of the room. Noting the broken glass, he took a few steps towards the couple. Things were escalating once more.
"He what, Damon?" Elena gritted menacingly, looking up from the floor. Tears now filled her eyes, ready to pool down her lids, but she swore she would not let them fall. "that he could love me?"
Damon backed down, his shoulders sagging and his chest no longer heaving in anger.
"Because who could love me, right?" Elena asked him and even glanced at Stefan. "Who could love Elena Gilbert the doppelgänger? That's all I am, right?"
Stefan moved to go to Elena, but she moved away. "Elena…"
"That's what drew you both to me, wasn't it? Because I looked like her – I reminded you of Katharine."
Both men bowed their heads in guilt.
"Elena," Damon sighed. He hadn't meant to get so mad and strike a chord. Or maybe he did, but he didn't mean to hit the most sensitive chord in Elena's books.
"No," Elena said stubbornly. "Say what you need to say, Damon. Tell me you're wrong. Or better yet, tell me you're right."
"I didn't mean-"
"Don't," she snapped in anger to him. She was standing and seething in her anger. Tears were filling her eyes but she wasn't done. She was so sick of everyone always only seeing Katharine or Tatia. No one could ever seem to just see her.
"They may not truly care for me," Elena ground out, referring back to the original family as she tried to get her emotions under control. "Elijah may not truly love me and they may only be looking out for their family. But when I was with them for the few months I ran, I began to care for them. They showed me they were just as human as the rest of us."
The tears in Elena's eyes fell and she quickly wiped them away. "The sooner you get it, the sooner you'll see. It's no longer about the sides we were on. It's where we are now. Esther is planning something, whether it is my death or an extermination of all vampires. She wants you all gone. And I don't care who you care about or if it is even just yourself. I will not let any of you die."
Elena went to let herself out, only to be stopped by Damon who sped to place himself in front of her.
"I-…" his eyes were sorrow-filled. He knew that denying what he said wouldn't get him anywhere and sorry didn't cover the hurt he just brought over her. It was exactly what he wanted because she had hurt him by loving Elijah.
Elena waited momentarily before stepping past him and speeding out of the house. Not bothering with her car, she ran off far from the Salvatore boarding house and collapsed in the middle of the woods. Falling to her knees, she clutched her stomach and sobbed at the pain she felt. She gasped and trembled in anguish as she cradled her chest, trying to sooth her aching heart.
"I have you, I have you," her mother used to repeat to her when Elena would break down crying. Miranda Gilbert would take her daughter in her arms and rock her until the tears would subside.
Rocking herself back and forth, Elena sat on her knees in the middle of the wet forest holding her body together. I have you, she kept hearing her mother's voice echo in her head. She needed to get it together, to stop crying, to stop breaking down, to stop being weak.
I have you.
She broke down again, crying in hysterics once more. This time it wasn't just because of what Damon said or the fears she had when it came to her doppelgänger status. It was her mother. It was her father. It was everything she had lost and it was everyone she had loved. It was all too much, just too much.