Heyyyyy hey hey folks. I hope you're holding up in these trying times. I'm still here, alive and well enough. Like many of you, clearly 2020 did not go according to plan but I do want you to know I'm still here! I recently mapped out the ending for this story (and I may have cried but I digress) so I'm here to announce there will be 26 total chapters. So this one and four more, then we're wrapped! I pre-apologize if that takes me until the new year to finish off. I'm definitely the type who doesn't like to see things end soo I end up drawing it out. Hence why I have a stack of unfinished books on my nightstand.
ANYWAY. Thank you so much for being here still. I'm so grateful for all the support! Thank you to everyone who reviewed the last chapter especially: Purplestan, Gingerandspice1, Rachem, Guest, and Guest! I so appreciate having you here and hearing your thoughts :)
To Tabbit: I want you to assure you that geminibbyy and I are certainly two different people. Two people who are very close friends and end up drawing inspiration from one another so we always end up updating at the same time! That's the honest truth lol although I do take your question as a compliment.
Speaking of my girl B aka geminibbyy, are you all reading 'gilded' too!? Because you should be. She's taken us into this rich, detailed version of our GG world and Odette fits right into the narrative. You'll love it, take my word for it.
Anyway, hereeeee we go!
Wake up the dawn and ask her why
A dreamer dreams she never dies
Wipe that tear away now from your eye
Standing across the threshold of the doorframe was Rufus Humphrey, scarf wrapped around his neck, peacoat unbuttoned, suitcase sitting beside his feet. His skin was tan, his eyes soft. They both remained still for just a moment.
Mackenzie tangled her hands together anxiously, clutching the ring on her finger. "What are you doing here?"
Rufus sighed, reaching to loosen his scarf. "I was hoping we could talk."
Mackenzie hesitated, feeling her chest tighten again. Then, she swung the door open and motioned for him to come in.
"I just put on a pot of coffee," Mackenzie started, immediately heading in a direction away from her father. She opened a cupboard and took out a pair of mugs, hesitating for a moment before filling them. A long exhale escaped her as she turned to see him hanging up his coat, glancing around the space. "Yeah?" She lifted up a mug to him and he nodded.
Rufus watched his daughter closely from across the room. Her body language wasn't hard for him to read - she was guarded, stiff. This was unexpected, of course. He hadn't planned on ambushing her at the loft but when Nate messaged him that she was there packing, he figured this was a 'now or never' situation. And she let him in willingly. So, they had to start somewhere.
He surveyed the space - eyes lingering for just a moment on the replaced window on the far end of the wall. His eyes closed tight, trying to imagine a shattered pane and Mackenzie discussing her trauma with the police. He hated it, all of it. He hated they had let things escalate like this.
It was time to fix it.
He owed it to himself but more than anything, he owed it to Mackenzie.
"Sugar? Milk?" Mackenzie's voice caused him to turn back towards the kitchen. "I think there's a bottle of Irish Cream on the liquor shelf."
Rufus smirked. "Just sugar."
Avery stirred his mug and left it on the island for him, staying in the kitchen as she sipped her own mug. Rufus thanked her and after a quick hesitation, took a seat on one of the stools.
He sipped his coffee and looked at her. "Can I ask you something?"
Mackenzie let out a quiet sigh. "Sure."
"Do you remember that fall when your mom made the trip up here for a few weeks? Thanksgiving then she managed to stay until Christmas, save for a few day trips back to Hudson." Rufus paused, letting out a sigh himself. "Jen would have just been in ninth grade. Dan and Serena had just started to date. You were training for the lacrosse team, I think? Tenth grade?"
Mackenzie swallowed hard, placing her mug down on the counter. She tangled her hands together. "I do remember that, yeah. Mom was flip flopping on moving back for a long time. Even though she had started up whatever with Alex and you guys were already legally separated, Jen really thought you two would get back together. Maybe you and mom thought that for a bit, too."
"Why didn't you come up with her? Not one weekend in that whole mess did you even visit. I know Alison asked you to. Sure, you had school and I know you were not the type to skip any classes to come to the city. But it was just a train ride away on a Friday afternoon."
Mackenzie thought back to those weird few months. She could narrow down chapters of her life between major family milestones. Rufus was describing post-divorce, pre-Alex moving in, post-Mackenzie-restarts-at-a-new-school, pre-paternity-test-revelation. In short, it was a complicated time for the Humphrey family. She had accepted her new life in Hudson, the character home with the red door, her own bedroom safe from the noise of the city. She had friends from school, extracurriculars. She didn't have to think about what her family was doing in the city. She didn't have to worry about what Jenny was up to or how she was surviving, Dan was there for her. She got to just be an only child and spend time with her mother.
But that didn't mean she was avoiding any underlying honest truths.
"Well, like you said, I was training for lacrosse. I didn't want to miss any practices."
"You know I can still tell when you're lying." Rufus smirked at her, rolling his eyes.
"Fine." Mackenzie squeezed her eyes shut for a moment. "I didn't want to come. I never really felt like I fit into this whole thing. Here." She waved her hands around the loft. "This was where you and Dan and Jen had this great thing going for you. It wasn't my home. Or mom's, for that matter." She opened her eyes and met his narrowed gaze. "Plus, if you want me to be completely honest, I knew it wasn't gonna work. There was no way mom was going to stay here. You guys weren't going to sort it out. I couldn't come here and watch you both try to sew our family back together."
Rufus just let out a dry laugh, letting his shoulders slump. "It's nice to know you had no faith in us."
"I'm sorry for being realistic about it. You know how Dan felt about it all. Like we abandoned the family. Jen was in a bit of a fog, I think." Mackenzie ran a hand through her hair, giving her dad a small sympathetic smile. "I was here for Christmas, at least." She paused, shaking her head. "Though I wish I had been here for Thanksgiving - we could have all complained about going to the tree lighting together.."
It used to be one of Mackenzie's favourite traditions - ever since she was a kid she had been so fascinated with the annual tree lighting at Rockefeller center. Though she complained about it just like Dan and Jenny, she had secretly always been so elated that they made the trip into Manhattan as a family.
"Our last Christmas as a family, the five of us," Rufus replied with a sentimental gloss in his eyes. He truly had a lot of regrets about his past - one of them was not fighting hard enough for his family. Even if he and Alison had fallen apart emotionally so many times, hadn't he owed it to his own kids to try and be better? Should he have insisted on more holidays with his estranged daughter? Should he have just swallowed his pride a long time ago?
Mackenzie remembered that Christmas well. Sharing a bed with Jenny, waking Dan up early, fighting over the bathroom. The moments of peace as they opened presents, indulged in waffles together, laughed and smiled and loved.
Until Alison opened a card from Alex and things fell apart.
She just watched as her dad nodded, as if he was trying to figure something out. Like her words were a puzzle to piece together, a game to decipher. "What makes you think about all that right now?"
Rufus stood up and let out another soft laugh. "Well, I've been spending a lot of time trying to figure out exactly where I could have tried harder to fix this." He motioned at the space between himself and Mackenzie. "Your words have been weighing on me a lot." He stood and started to wander around the loft, pausing to flip through some records on the shelving unit. "It's funny. Dan recently pointed out how absurd it was for you to even question your parentage, considering how much of me is in you."
Mackenzie rolled her eyes, smiling at the idea of her brother finally having some common sense and playing both sides of their argument instead of pressuring her to be the one to fix it. "That was Dan's backwards way of telling us that we both might be too stubborn to try and fix this."
"Sure. But you're also very trusting and kind, to a point where you've been hurt by it. You always try to see the best in people, just like me. While I might kick myself for letting you lean into the stubborn thing, I'm proud you got some of my better traits, too." He paused to pull out a record then listened to the faint noise already coming from the record player across the room. "Why'd you pick that one?"
Mackenzie pushed herself away from the kitchen counter and moved to drop on the couch instead. "It reminds me of something warm and happy but it's all kind of a fog in my memory."
Rufus smirked. "Your brother went to a sleep away camp upstate when he was eight or nine. I had to drive him there to drop him off - you came with me. Do you remember that?"
Mackenzie tilted her head as she took in his words. She vaguely remembered some sort of long drive with her dad.
Rufus continued, pausing in front of the record player and moving the needle over to change the tracks. "This record was the only one I had in the tape deck." He laughed to himself.
"Wait. I do remember that. Didn't we have to go back and get him like the next day?" Mackenzie shook her head as the memories seemed to be unlocked. She remembered Rufus going on and on about the guys in Oasis - 'Noel Gallagher is one of the best guitarists of my time' - singing loudly along to Champagne Supernova, placating an embarrassed Daniel with DairyQueen on the drive back to the city.
Rufus smirked, heading back towards the living room. "He said he missed Cedric."
Mackenzie smiled, pulling her legs up to sit cross legged on the couch. "Classic Dan."
Rufus dropped onto the arm chair across from her. He didn't look over towards her as he continued. "I used to think about how lucky Alison was to have you out in Hudson. And how lucky you were to avoid all the drama we found ourselves in for years here. You saw what the Upper East Side did to your sister. At least I knew you were safe from it."
Mackenzie just listened as her dad rambled on. It was funny. She didn't think Rufus thought of her at all while she was away. In fact, she mainly assumed he forgot about her entirely most days. She was starting to realize just how wrong she was.
Rufus ran his hand across his jaw then let out a breath.
"You were right, you know," he started slowly. "At some point I guess I did make some unconscious decision to keep you at bay. But I want to fix this, not drive a wedge further between us."
Mackenzie thought hearing her dad admit his wrongdoings out loud would make her feel better on some level. But in actuality, it made her feel worse. "I also want to fix this." Her voice came out in a quiet mumble. "I should have told you about Maya right away. It was just.. a lot. And considering how things ended up with her, I should have handled a lot of this differently. But her claims just applied pressure to this crack in our foundation and it was easier to explore it than confront you."
Rufus pursed his lips together, swallowing the lump in his throat as her voice quivered.
"I was mad at your mom for a long time. She was mad at me, too, sometimes. I know when I decided to go on tour after Dan was born… she was unhappy. She tried to be supportive but I know that was the beginning of the end already. It led to a lot of resentment, even when I did come home for a few days at a time. And when you were born, after your mom and I had fight after fight about the tour or the guy from her studio or how she was raising you and your brother… I think I projected it onto you. And that's not fair. I guess maybe I thought I was dealing with it internally but I wasn't aware of how my actions or lack thereof might have affected you. And I am deeply, truly sorry Mack."
Rufus paused his speech and leaned forward in his chair, extending a hand out to her. "I'll never forget when you called me about that stupid paternity test. How you cried over the phone. I should have apologized to you during that moment. And a million times since then. I wish you hadn't bottled all this up over the years but I know I didn't help the cause."
Mackenzie took a deep breath and matched his pose, reaching her hand out to grab his across the coffee table. She was struggling to hold back her tears.
"I wish I could go back and do it differently, Mack. I really do." He squeezed her hand. "I have a lot of regrets about how I handled things with Dan and Jenny, too."
Seeing remorse wash across her dad's made Mackenzie feel like she was going to collapse. Hadn't this been exactly what she was waiting for after all this time? She took in a long breath, doing her best to keep her heart rate at an appropriate pace. She always thought her dad played favourites but she was starting to realize the relationship her siblings had with their dad wasn't perfect either. For years, all she could do was hold onto that overwhelming sense of resentment that Rufus cared for Dan and Jenny more than her. Of course, that was never the case. And Mackenzie had to stop being naive to the fact that her siblings struggled with Rufus over the years, too.
She could only control her own relationship with her father. And it was time to start again.
"I'm sorry, too. I wasn't always fair to you. I would sit and analyze all the things I thought you did wrong instead of realizing you did so many things for me." She closed her eyes. "I remember how you stayed beside my bed for days after the shooting, surviving on just coffee and vending machine snacks. I know you'd always ask Jen how I was doing when we lived together. I know you kept all my old report cards."
"That wasn't enough. I know that, Mackenzie."
"It was still a lot." She shook her head. "I was the one who put all the physical distance between us. When I moved to Hudson with mom or jumped across the globe or kept away in Boston for school. I know this is a two way street."
"But I'm the dad." There was a heavy pause. "I should have done better. I hope you can forgive me."
Mackenzie finally looked over at him, her hand still grasped in his. He had a few stray tears falling down his cheeks. She sniffled and squeezed his hand harder. "I think we are well on the path to forgiveness."
"Oh, thank God." Rufus released her hand and stood up, a smile wiping across his face. "Come here."
She took a few steps around the table and wrapped her into a hug, planting a kiss on her head.
"I'm just so sorry, Mackenzie."
"Listen, I can't promise I'll never argue with you again."
"Well, a cheetah can't change it's spots, can it?"
She just laughed and pushed away from him, wiping the tears off her cheeks. Maybe they were going to be okay.
"Just be honest with me. I've always appreciated that about you."
Mackenzie just smirked at him, rolling her eyes. "Hey, speaking of honesty. I saw Lily at a luncheon a few weeks ago - she was subtle but she was asking about how you and I were doing. What's that about?"
Rufus just shook his head, an identical smirk on his own face. "We haven't told anyone this yet but I think we're dating again."
"What? Are you serious?" Mackenzie dropped her mouth open in surprise. "What about Lisa?"
"We broke up before Thanksgiving. And William moved to Miami permanently after Lily ended things with him again."
"You know I have to tell Jenny and Eric about this right away."
Christmas morning brought a gentle snowfall to the city. It was fitting and bright and perfect.
Mackenzie and Nate weren't in a particular hurry to wake up early though they did have to get to the loft for brunch by late morning. But, considering this was the very first time they were going to have Christmas morning together, they both seemed to indulge in the slow, soft feeling of the morning. The night before, Jenny and Leo had been over for eggnog and holiday movies.
After their guests left, Nate and Mackenzie returned to the couch and just sat together.
Nate felt an overwhelming sense of peace with Mackenzie as they tangled up on the couch. She was stretched out with her head resting in his lap, tucked under a blanket. Nate extended one hand over the back of the couch, swirling around the remains of a glass of scotch. His other hand was on the crown of Mackenzie's head, slowly running through her hair.
"Did you have any special Christmas traditions when you were a kid?"
Nate was taken back by her question. He hummed as he thought of a response, smiling as Mackenzie shifted to look up towards him. He pushed aside the stray hair that covered her forehead.
"Christmas was one of the only times my mother went from stiff to slightly..less stiff," Nate finally spoke, finishing his thought with a dull laugh. "Especially in the early morning when it was just the three of us. Before any of the house keepers showed up or whoever my mom managed to retain on staff to cook for us that morning." He paused again, finishing off his drink and leaning to place the glass on a side table. "My dad used to wrap one gift for me and hide it somewhere in the house, leaving just a few clues on my stocking so I would hunt around and find it. I think maybe he just wanted a few minutes alone with my mom but he was always so excited to see me running back to the tree with whatever it was."
Mackenzie couldn't help but grin at the idea of a little Nate bounding around his house in striped pajamas and slippers, excitedly tearing open wrapping paper and sitting around the tree with his mom and dad.
"Oh, and I always got a new video game and I got to play it all morning until we left for my uncle's house," Nate added in, tilting his head with a proud smirk.
"Oh, right. Rich kid getting a new video game every year while those of us who lived across the bridge had to fight over Rufus' old Super Nintendo."
"Hey," Nate laughed at her commentary and moved his hand to sneak under the blanket and squeeze her waist. "If he still has that Nintendo - it's vintage now."
Mackenzie giggled and pushed his hand away, sitting up to sit beside him. She ran a hand through her hair and pushed it towards her shoulder, meeting his lips as he leaned towards her.
"What about the Humphrey family traditions of the past?" Nate asked in return as he pulled away, welcoming Mackenzie to rest under his arm.
"Well, dad always made breakfast waffles -
"Oh, surprising."
"Hey! They were Christmas waffles, okay? Specialty. He sprinkled them with icing sugar like snow," Mackenzie laughed, tipping her head back as she thought of her Christmas mornings growing up. "One thing I'll always remember about the holidays was the warmth of it all. One of us kids would pick out a record and then dad would cook and mom would sip her coffee as we all opened our stockings and gifts and it was just.. Together. We were together."
Nate squeezed her shoulder and pulled her in towards his chest, pressing kisses on her head. "Together."
It didn't take much planning or prodding for Mackenzie's wish to come true - though it was in the middle of being packed away, everyone gathered at the loft for a late breakfast. Well, nearly everyone.
Rufus and Lily, Eric and Elliot, Serena and Dan, Mackenzie and Nate, Jenny and Leo.
The invite had been extended further to the Waldorf-Bass clan but Blair hardly hid her lack of interest in feeling sentimental about the Brooklyn loft. They, of course, had their own traditions at home with Henry anyway.
Dan stole off to his old room, sorting through his old piles of books. Lily sat happily at the island, watching Rufus work with love in her eyes. The loft was warm and happy. It was everything Mackenzie had imagined.
"So, how did the gift exchange go this morning?" Eric slid in beside Mackenzie as she was cutting up fruit in the kitchen. He reached over and grabbed a strawberry, popping it into his mouth with a smirk.
"Oh god, Eric. I felt so terrible. The look on his face when he just opened up the box to reveal just a scarf -
"It's vintage Armani! Not just a scarf -
"I know. But.. he looked so disappointed."
"Or confused. It is Nate, after all."
Mackenzie laughed and nudged him in the arm. "Hey. I have had to lie to him more than once to ensure this plan works and I'm so close to breaking and telling him about it. I need your support here."
Eric brought his hand up to her shoulder and squeezed. "Fine. I will not make fun of the scarf. Now, what did he get you?"
Mackenzie dropped her knife and grumbled, turning to look across the room and narrow in on Nate. He was sitting on the couch with Serena, laughing about something or other and her annoyance melted away. He was dressed in a dark green cardigan and jeans, hair styled to look just messy enough. He met her eyes with a playful smile.
"Nate, my love?" Mackenzie matched his playful look as she drew his attention. Rufus, who was standing at the island working on the waffles, glanced between them.
"Why don't you tell the crowd what you got me for Christmas?"
Nate rolled his eyes. "Stop pretending you're mad, Mack." He leaned forward on the couch. "Fine. A new pair of Louboutins, a beautiful Ferragamo satchel she was salivating over, some jewelry, annnd -
"Nate!"
"A pair of tickets for SNL in April." He leaned back on the couch, turning to Serena with a smile. "Chris Evans is hosting but -
Mackenzie let out an excited scream and moved to look at Rufus. "Billy Joel is the musical guest."
"Wow," Rufus cracked a grin at Nate. "You know you didn't need to get her that fancy stuff if you had just led with Billy Joel."
Mackenzie grinned. "Right?"
"I mean, I'm sure he could return the purse, Kenzie," Jenny piped in from the table, where she had been cozied up beside Leo. "Or I could adopt it."
"I'll take the shoes," Serena added in, raising her eyebrows playfully at Mackenzie.
"She's just mad because she had the same idea for me and when she asked Tripp he lied to her about tickets." Nate was really proud of himself. Mackenzie didn't handle surprises well but this had all been worth it.
"Okay people, let's eat!" Rufus clapped his hands in excitement, untying the apron around his waist and motioning over towards the dining table. Many hands moved the stack of waffles, pastries, bacon, fruit, mimosa ingredients and more.
Mackenzie was warm - so warm - partially because of the sheer number of people squeezed around the table but she felt like her heart was glowing as she took in the scene. She could forget about her work and anxieties, her fears and uncertainties, the pain and trauma she was leaving in the past few months and focus now on this: a hopeful future moving forward.
Dan and Jenny traded storytelling as they recalled memories of Christmas past. Serena chided Nate about some silly memory they shared at a holiday party as kids. Rufus and Lily held hands on top of the table throughout it all - smiles wide, cheeks rosy.
"Oh! Since it's Christmas and the time for sharing our feelings," Serena giggled as she took a moment to lean into Dan's side. "Dan is averse to gender reveal parties -
"What is the point? It's so arbitrary to let a colour dictate the direction your child does in. Plus -
Mackenzie held up her hand and pointed towards her brother. "Daniel, let your wife finish."
Serena shot her a sympathetic thank you look. "We wanted you all to know we're having a girl!"
The table erupted in excited cheers. Lily started to cry almost immediately, pulling off her glasses to wipe her eyes.
Much to Mackenzie's dismay, her excitement for Dan and Serena seemed to fizzle out as the baby name discussion came into play. She kept a smile on her face, though didn't contribute as they talked. She felt Nate's hand on her knee, squeezing for a moment then resting there. She didn't need to look at him to know what he was feeling.
She knew exactly what he'd say, too. Explaining how Mackenzie would be a mother one day, a great mom. How they had plenty of time to have a family. He'd make some saucy comment about getting started right away then he'd kiss her neck and make her giggle and everything would feel better.
But there was still a sting.
After they ate, everyone piled into the living room to exchange gifts. Although they would mostly all be seeing each other at the Van Der Woodsen penthouse for dinner that evening. They all unpacked sentimental presents - Serena tearing up at every baby related item. Rufus wrapped everything up with a heartfelt speech about family and the loft and how special it was to be in that moment with his kids and their partners with the future ahead.
The drive to the Vanderbilt family estate was beautiful and it was something Nate used to always take for granted. The snow decorated the pine trees lining the highway and he couldn't help but smile when he heard Mackenzie humming happily along to the music (her own curated winter playlist).
They had both enjoyed a slow (hungover) morning after an indulgent, joyous Christmas dinner at the Van Der Woodsen's - though Nate knew Mackenzie was still a bundle of nerves about being around his family again. Even though she had managed to survive Thanksgiving, he knew Christmas celebrations always circled back to some dramatic tension with a handful of family members. He could recall many Boxing Day dinners that ended in screaming and fighting, all while his Grandma Cherry tried her best to smooth things over with carols and more wine.
"What's on your mind?" Mackenzie's voice called him away from his memories.
Nate turned his head to look at her for a brief moment before casting his eyes back towards the road. She was sitting with one leg pulled up on the seat, layers of jacket and wool accessories piled in her lap. "You, mostly."
Mackenzie blushed, shaking her head with a laugh. "Aren't you smooth."
"I like watching you with Henry," Nate continued, keeping his left hand on the steering wheel while the other reached over to rest on Mackenzie's leg. "I'm not sure how you make him laugh so much but it just.." Nate trailed off with a shrug, losing himself in the warm thoughts. "I like it."
Mackenzie swallowed her smile, letting out a slow breath. Christmas dinner had been especially light and wonderful - she spent a lot of time with Eric and Elliot, indulging Henry as they all played some nonsense card game over and over again. Henry always seemed to win and he went on and on about all the wonderful gifts Santa had brought him. It was the embodiment of Christmas as he spoke with such excitement and joy. Of course, the food and wine and pecan pie were just the cherry on top of the entire evening, too.
Mostly, the entire day had been a reflection of their whole big, messy weird family. And Mackenzie was grateful most of all for the moments she caught her dad looking so carefree and happy. When he snuck a kiss with Lily or sat and asked Nate about The Spectator or lectured Dan about dad things. It felt like making up for lost time. It was funny - those Rufus actions would have annoyed the shit out of her a few months ago but now, it was making her heart and soul melt with contentment.
"You okay?" It was Nate pulling Mackenzie back to the SUV from her daydreams that time.
"I am." Mackenzie said honestly. "A little concerned about spending the day AND night with your family, though. It sounds like the beginning of a New York Times Bestseller thriller. One large mansion, big family, big secrets."
"You should pitch that story idea to your brother," Nate replied with a laugh, rolling his eyes. "We'll survive. I'll be by your side-
"Don't say that," Mackenzie cut him off. "I love you but the last few times you made that promise, it was not kept. May as well just be honest and remind me that your grandfather and uncle and dad are going to steal you away and I will be left with the wolves. I mean, your mother and aunts."
Nate huffed out another laugh. He was always grateful for Mackenzie's honesty. "You know, you should give yourself more credit. You are absolutely wonderful and my family is lucky to get to know you."
Mackenzie's cheeks flushed red and she squeezed Nate's hand as it rested on her leg. "Thank you for that. I will have to remind the voice in my head you said that."
"Maybe avoid getting drunk with my cousin's spouses this time?"
"Nate, us outliers have to stick together."
Nate sighed. "You act like I have a family full of villains, Mack."
Mackenzie pursed her lips together and stopped herself from returning his comment. It wasn't worth an argument especially considering Nate was well aware of the fact that his family had a tendency to be judgemental and difficult. There was no point in fighting during Christmas. They were a team and had to stick together instead.
"I will only go for the hard stuff if your mother gives me a hard time for not being a Kennedy."
Nate sighed but his lips turned into a smile. That statement felt inevitable. "Just.. signal me if you need a break, okay? We're in this together, Humphrey."
After about two hours on the road, they pulled up to an incredibly grand mansion. As they drove up the length of the driveway, Mackenzie's jaw fell when the entire estate came into view. She knew the Vanderbilts were Old Money but this seemed excessive. The house stood bold ahead of them - built of perfectly curated bricks and large windows, stone statues lined the columns and there was beautiful holiday decor strung across the front. Luscious red and green florals draped the doorway and as they came to a stop at the front, Mackenzie nearly gasped when someone hurried to open her door.
Nate had forewarned her there was staff on the grounds to keep things running smoothly but Mackenzie felt perfectly capable of opening her own door.
She stuttered out a thank you to the man and hesitated to grab her bags. She had a feeling this was all going to be very hands off. Nate handed his keys over to another staff member then reached for Mackenzie's hand.
"Nate, this feels like another world," she said quietly, squeezing his hand. Suddenly, not only did she feel underdressed in her leggings and dress, but all of her felt inadequate. Thanksgiving at Nate's uncles townhouse had not prepared her for the magnitude of excess.
Nate turned and smiled at her, pausing as they reached the door. "You'll get used to it. Just remember all these people are paid - so don't feel bad if they refill your drink or take your coat, okay?"
Mackenzie was always so surprised when Nate could so easily read her mind. She nodded and returned his smile, swallowing down all the maddening insecure thoughts waving through her mind.
Nate was so polite and kind to each member of the staff they encountered and Mackenzie did appreciate how they addressed both of them by name. She resolved this was just a normal thing for Nate and she would do her best to try and get used to it, let it be a normal thing for her during these family events too. She knew she had bigger things to worry about than constantly remembering how goddamn wealthy his family was.
As soon as they stepped inside, things felt a bit better as Mackenzie received friendly greetings from Nate's family. Anne Archibald herself even gave Mackenzie a stiff hug, though the smile on the matriarch's face seemed quite forced. Just like she predicted, it didn't take long for Nate to steal away with his grandfather, Tripp and some other family. Mackenzie found a safe comfort with Tripp's girlfriend Monica as they sat in one of the formal living rooms, commenting on the excessively decorated home and snacked on hor d'oeuvres as the staff circled around.
If there was one big takeaway Mackenzie had from getting to know Nate's family it was that she was grateful for her own upbringing and looked forward to her own future family with Nate. She didn't want formal living rooms and fancy carpeting though - she wanted messy and real.
As she wandered through the house, in search of a powder room, she found herself in one of the many studies or dens or whatever extra rooms were called in a mansion. This one was decorated with old family photos, trophies and awards.
The Vanderbilts literally had their own museum and trophy room.
Mackenzie laughed to herself as she padded through the room, narrowing in on a glass display case in the corner.
"Those are my Olympic medals." A voice came from the doorway and Mackenzie turned to see Nate's grandmother walking in.
While Mackenzie had briefly met the woman at Thanksgiving, she didn't know very much about her. Nate had told her a few stories about Cherry and her effervescent attitude, but just seeing the woman dressed to the nines and nursing a small glass of sherry told Mackenzie everything she needed to know. This woman was one-of-a-kind and clearly a saint having committed to spending her life with William Vanderbilt.
And it was evident Anne took after her father, not her mother.
"Mrs. Vanderbilt, hi," Mackenzie started slowly, giving the woman a small smile. "Merry Christmas."
"Cherry, my dear," the older woman waved her hand with a smirk. "How was the drive up? I hope Nathaniel kept to the speed limit."
Mackenzie laughed nervously as Cherry met her at the display case. "It was a casual, safe, speed appropriate drive."
"You're nervous. Don't be nervous, darling!" Cherry laid her hand on Mackenzie's wrist with a laugh. "Out of all the girlfriends that have been brought to our holiday celebrations over the years, you've got nothing to worry about. I've seen how that boy looks at you, by the way." She winked at Mackenzie, grabbing her hand and guiding her to join her on one of the sofas. "I'd love to get to know you better."
The more Mackenzie talked with the family matriarch, the more at ease she managed to feel. Cherry told Mackenzie all about her time as a professional athlete - a distance runner.
"You see, in the 1950s women didn't get to do all the same events as the men. Which is bullshit, might I add. I got a medal in each category I could but never got the big ones."
"You're right, that is bullshit," Mackenzie added in with a laugh.
"Your Nathaniel, out of all my grandkids, was the only one who used to go on runs with me. All summer long, for years, he would wake up early and even though he could quickly outpace me, he stayed by my side." Cherry paused, brushing down the skirt of her dress. "Probably thought I'd keel over and die. But he stayed by my side. He's loyal like that, you know."
Mackenzie smiled at the idea of a young, bright eyed Nate running alongside his grandmother.
"Not sure what happened along the way with all those other block headed boys of mine," Cherry smirked. "I love them all. But I'm damn well not getting to know another one of Bronson's wives."
"Now, my Anne is going to give you a hard time. It's because she's fiercely loyal, too."
Ah. Mackenzie realized now this was a lesson, a warning. While she appreciated the opportunity to get to know Nate's grandmother, she was even more grateful for the advice. They continued to talk - Mackenzie explained her role at the Bass Foundation and how she wanted to shape the future of the company. She spoke positively about Nate's upcoming political career and moving in with him.
"There you are." Nate's voice carried into the room, turning the heads of Mackenzie and Cherry. He had two champagne flutes in his hand, as if he knew Mackenzie likely needed another mimosa. "Two of my favourite people together. How fitting."
"Loyal and charming," Cherry commented, squeezing Mackenzie's knee before they stood.
Nate accepted a hug from his grandmother then extended his arm over Mackenzie's shoulder. "Was she regaling you about her time at the Olympics?"
"I'm telling you, dear. I would have beaten most of those men if they let me compete in their races," Cherry quipped as she led them out of the room.
"I hope your grandfather hasn't completely changed your campaign plans," Mackenzie said quietly as she and Nate paused in the room. "I'm not sure how someone as lovely as Cherry decided to stay with someone like your grandfather."
"I see you aren't holding back your feelings today, Humphrey," Nate replied, raising his eyebrows. "Grandfather and I did have a very serious talk about boundaries. If he starts prodding into our personal lives again without asking, I'm not against cutting him off completely and I'm hoping he understands that now."
Mackenzie leaned into Nate for a moment before he took her hand and guided her back towards the front of the house.
The rest of the day carried on somewhat smoothly. Afternoon drinks turned to some exchanging of gifts which rolled right into the most elegant feast of a Christmas dinner Mackenzie had ever seen. She felt mostly welcome and comfortable as time carried on, although she did realize Anne was keeping her distance. Mackenzie did her best not to worry about it. She resolved that was just how Anne was and in time, they would likely get along more cordially.
Following dinner and dessert, one of the annual family traditions was a hockey game. In the week leading up, a makeshift rink was laid out on the lawn complete with nets, painted lines and overhead outdoor lighting.
It was incredibly extra but something the entire family looked forward to. It was mainly the men who played, though the women were allowed to participate if they so desired. Usually they just acted as spectators, watching from the side of the boards or inside from the back lounge windows.
Mackenzie was happy to bundle up and stand outside with Monica, cheering on their respective boyfriends as they skated along the ice. Most of the older women stayed inside, cracking open more wine as they droned on about their social lives and traded gossip about their friends.
All in all, Mackenzie was surprised with how smoothly the day had gone. Plus, with her intention to surprise Nate with his real Christmas gift before bed, she was feeling especially content and elated. Although, that all floated away when she headed into the house to refill her mug of hot cocoa. Then, things took a turn.
Nate had absolutely no worries or concerns about his relationship with Mackenzie anymore. Even though the last few months had plenty of up and downs, he knew they were in it for the long haul - whatever his future looked like, it was Mackenzie Lilas Rose Humphrey who would be at his side.
And ever since she had made amends with Rufus, he had noticed a positive shift in her. Not that this resolved her anxiety or worries, it was at least one less thing clouding up her thoughts.
Though there were still a lot of unanswered questions regarding Maya, Nate had enough peace of mind for the time being not to worry about it. He was trying to put his focus and energy into his relationship first, then his mayoral run second. With Leo taking on more responsibility at The Spectator, he knew the next year of his life could be driven towards his political endeavors.
Nate always found himself lost in his memories and reflecting on the past around the holidays. Warm Christmas mornings cut short thanks to his parents arguments, long family dinners where his only relief was stealing off to get rowdy with his cousins, showing off his potential life partners to his judgmental family. He would always be grateful for his opportunities and privilege, but it didn't make up for the strange hole in his heart.
He always felt like something real was missing and would thank whichever God would listen for letting Mackenzie enter his life.
Nate used to wish he had met Mackenzie sooner. It would have been an entirely different ballgame if she had been walking the halls at Constance with her sister, too. It was a laughable daydream though - because he knew damn well that the version of himself that existed in high school would not have been worthy of Mackenzie.
He likely would have dismissed her to continue fighting his feelings for Serena. And really, there was no way Dan would have approved of them dating as teenagers.
All that to say, he would have been an idiot not to fall in love with her if he had known her then.
Perhaps it worked out better this way.
He leaned across the boards of the pop-up hockey rink and pressed a kiss to Mackenzie's pink lips, chuckling as she cheered him on. He glided towards the middle of the ice and stopped beside Tripp, giving his cousin a friendly slap on the back.
"You really helped me nail Mack's Christmas present, man," Nate laughed, pulling on his gloves as his hockey stick leaned against his shoulder.
"It was hard to disappoint her a few weeks ago, I'll tell you that." Tripp flashed Nate a smile. "What did she end up getting you?"
Nate frowned for a brief moment. "Uhm. A scarf?"
Tripp raised an eyebrow, leaning onto his hockey stick. "A scarf?"
"Yeah."
"Just a scarf?"
Nate swallowed. "Yeah."
"I don't get it."
Nate shrugged, eyes wide as another one of his cousins started to call out for teams. "Me either, man."
Nate had been looking forward to Christmas morning with Mackenzie for so long and it had been everything he imagined. They stayed in bed cuddling for a while then had coffee together under the tree. Mackenzie had even found a small cat stocking filled with toys and catnip for Max.
She screamed and nearly cried with joy when he surprised her with the SNL tickets but grew incredibly worried when Nate opened his single gift box. That had a scarf in it.
And nothing else.
He feigned a positive reaction but was left clueless more than anything. Admittedly, he didn't need a gift from her. But the scarf felt.. weird.
He wrote it off though - considering how busy their last few weeks had been and he knew Mack found him difficult to shop for. And that was that.
The hockey game went by in a blur. Just as the game was coming to an end - and Nate wasn't sure he could feel his toes anymore - he caught Mackenzie's eye from the side. She smiled and waved, raising up her mug and turning to head inside the house. Everyone left on the ice turned to grabbing beers and drinks from a small cooler nearby and the hockey playing turned to lazy slap shots and laughter. Nate skated to the side and found a place to sit and take off his skates.
"Nate?!"
He looked up to see one of his cousin Grace standing at the back door, shouting his name. "Yeah?" He called back.
"You might want to come in here." Grace paused and turned her head to look back inside. "Fast."
Nate rushed through pulling off his skates and finding his shoes again. He could tell something was wrong based on his cousin's tone but he wasn't sure what he was expecting. Hopefully Mackenzie was okay.
By the time he got to the door and inside the back entrance of the house, he figured it out. It was a familiar sound that was sweeping through the house from the kitchen - his mother's shrill voice trying not to yell.
Nate rushed towards the room, seeing Mackenzie standing on one side of the island with her arms crossed while his mother matched her pose on the other side. Before he could say anything, he was quickly stopped by his grandmother.
"Hold on, dear. Let her handle this one."
His aunts and cousins were crowding the entrance on the far side of the room, too. More than anything he wished they'd turn their attention away for Mackenzie's sake. He had no doubt she could handle what was unfolding but there was no need for the unwanted peanut gallery of family members.
"Anne, I'm not entirely sure why you're so set on making me feel less than because of what my parents do or where I grew up -
"Mackenzie. I have my son's best interests in mind. I have a lot of experience here and I'm not going to sugar coat how I feel. You aren't the right fit for him and I won't apologize for what I said."
"You don't get to decide who is the right fit for him." Mackenzie took a deep breath and narrowed her eyes. "And I don't think it's fair of you to continue comparing me to other people, especially Nate's exes or the Kennedy's."
"I meant it when I said even Serena Van Der Woodsen would make a more appropriate partner. Nate needs someone at his side who will support him and be there for social events, committee meetings, photo ops. I realize you think running a foundation that Chuck Bass handed you brings you some clout and experience, but you're mistaken."
"Do you even talk to your son and know what he wants?"
"I'm his mother. Just because he thinks he wants something doesn't mean that is what he needs. He even asked me about the family ring - which is laughable."
Mackenzie huffed. "I don't give a shit about that ring! I think you need to realize he has different priorities than what you've dreamed up. He'd never expect me to be a trophy wife -
Anne rolled her eyes. "You're far from trophy wife material, darling."
Mackenzie swallowed the lump on her throat, taking a few deep breaths. This wasn't the time for her anxiety to kick in yet her heart rate was starting to soar. Out of the corner of her eye she caught a glimpse of Nate, who was hidden behind Cherry in the doorway.
Just knowing he was there put her at ease.
"You'll have to forgive me for wanting to be in a loving relationship with your son instead of standing unhappily by his side forever. I'm not going to push my own career or goals aside and Nate supports me, too. Has that worked out for you after all this time?" Mackenzie took a step forward, shaking her head. "Just because I don't have a wealthy family or connected parents or wear a size six.. those things don't make me any less worthy of being a good partner to him."
Anne let out another quiet scream and pointed her finger. "You broke my son's heart, Mackenzie! I don't give a damn about the size of your waist or who your parents are - you hurt him before and you're just going to do it again. So forgive me for having my reservations when I had to see him in pain for months after you left." Anne's eyes grew wide, as if she didn't mean to unload such an emotional response. "I will not watch him suffer like that again." She pursed her lips together, as if trying to undo her emotions. "Excuse me."
Nate could see Mackenzie's reserve faltering as Anne hurried out of the room, pushing beyond the crowd of curious bystanders. Cherry motioned for everyone else to leave the room as Nate hurried in to Mackenzie.
"Mack, I'm right here. Are you okay? What happened?" He wrapped his arms around her as she buried her head into the crook of his shoulder. She wasn't crying, which was probably a good sign but she did let out a long groan.
Mackenzie gripped onto the back of Nate's jacket and sighed. "My intention was just to come in and get a warm drink but everyone was chatting so.. I was asking your aunt Patricia about one of the boards she sits on, since the Foundation had worked with them before. And I don't even understand how it happened but I made a comment about how I didn't have any board experience. And your mother decided to bring up Serena and Lisbeth Kennedy and Cassandra and it sort of just.. escalated. I don't even understand how it happened, honestly." She pulled away to look up at him. "I'm sorry but I told you - she still doesn't like me."
Nate sighed quietly. He didn't want to agree with that sentence but if he did it would feel dishonest. Hearing his mother react like that was a first for him. He had spent a lot of time with her after Mackenzie first left. Though they didn't talk directly about his breakup, Anne was still his mother and had clearly picked up on what he had been going through.
He and Mackenzie had already climbed out of that mess, though. They had shared enough apologies and remorse to last a lifetime and were moving forward together. Nate just never imagined his mother was holding onto some resentment about it, too.
Nate wasn't sure what to say. "I'm sorry for not intervening sooner."
Mackenzie sighed. "No, don't be. It's better your mom let it all out now instead of impaling me with a steak knife or something."
"I'd rather you not be the victim to the thriller that unfolds in this house." A smile grew on Nate's face. "C'mon, let's take a walk."
Hand in hand, Nate and Mackenzie walked through the large garden on the west side of the property down towards the frozen lake. He assured her that the blowout in the kitchen would be soon forgotten and shared stories with her about past fights that had unfolded.
Mackenzie assumed he was trying to make her feel better but it didn't really work.
"Mack." Nate paused to grab her empty hand as they stopped near the dock. "Look at me."
Mackenzie sighed and met his eyes. They were warm. They were Nate.
He squeezed her hands. "She'll come around."
"Whenever I think of our breakup, it's this messy fog of my own emotions. Not that I didn't think about what you were going through but it was easier to just assume I was the only one in pain." Mackenzie shook her head. "I never wanted to hurt you like that."
"I know that, Mack. Trust me when I say I know that. We were both hurting and I'm not sitting here feeling resentful because of it. I'm glad we took this second chance instead and don't have to worry about that." Nate paused and the corners of his lips grew into a grin. "Also, my mom is a terrible example of a loving wife. Considering how often she hurt my dad to save face. When I was in high school, she blamed his drug problem on me because she didn't want to accept the fact that her marriage was in trouble and her reputation was in jeopardy." He huffed out a laugh. "Figured she had grown from that by now."
"I just.." Mackenzie took a deep breath. "I want to stand here and promise I'll never hurt you again. But that might not be possible."
Nate dropped her hands and pulled her into a hug. "Please stop treating yourself like the bad guy. I've hurt you too. I think as long as we both stay honest and open, we'll make it through. So don't take my mother's outburst to heart."
"Cherry did tell me you get your unyielding loyalty from your mother. I guess that can't be a bad thing."
Mackenzie could feel Nate's laughter as it rumbled through his chest. It helped melt away her concerns about Anne Archibald, even for just a few moments. She just sighed into him, holding on a little tighter and wishing their embrace would last forever.
"Were you serious about the ring, though?" Nate asked quietly.
Now it was Mackenzie's turn to laugh. "I love you, Nate. And if you want to propose with that ring one day, I would gladly accept. But it's a bit much for me. The entire time your mom was screeching at me, all I could think about was how much it would hurt if she punched me with that rock on her finger."
Nate tipped his head back as he laughed, shifting to leave one arm around her shoulder as they headed back towards the house. "Good to know, Humphrey."
Luckily, the rest of the evening went by without any further arguments or yelling. Not from Nate's leg of the family, at least. Nate and Mackenzie crashed in one of the rooms of the guest house - which Mackenzie made a point to note was still bigger than most people's homes - and lingered in bed again.
Mackenzie was mainly avoiding having to see Anne. But, she was equally eager to be awake and finally get to execute the rest of her plan for Nate's Christmas gift.
She propped herself up on one elbow as she watched Nate stir awake. The bright light from the morning sun reflecting off the snow made him look so beautiful, Mackenzie nearly dropped her jaw open when he smiled at her.
"Morning," Nate said slowly, pushing himself up to press a kiss against her lips. "What's got you so awake already?"
Mackenzie clapped her hands together as she sat up, covering her bare legs with the bedsheet. "I just want to make sure we're back in the city by mid afternoon today."
Nate laughed and sat up, leaning against the headboard. "Okay. Sure. Why?"
Mackenzie swallowed her excitement for a moment and narrowed her gaze at him. "Did you like your Christmas gift?"
Nate raised an eyebrow. "The scarf? Yeah. Of course. It's really nice."
"Nate," Mackenzie laughed. "You know you're a bad liar, right?"
"Mack, I'll always love and appreciate any gift you get me." He reached to grab her hand, bringing it up to kiss the back. "I could always use an extra scarf."
"Well, then don't forget it when we're packing this afternoon."
"Packing?" Nate glanced across the bedroom where their shared overnight bag was sitting. "What do you mean?"
Mackenzie grinned. "We fly out of JFK at nine tonight."
"What? Wait. What are you talking about?"
"I cleared your schedule with Leo and Ken and your housekeeper is going to watch Max and -
"What? Where are we going?"
"C'mon. You really think all I got you for Christmas was a scarf? I'm a woman with a plan." She smiled and moved up on the bed to kneel beside him. "This was technically your idea, actually. When we decorated the tree and you brought up that shop in Amsterdam.. well, I rented an apartment there for a week. We'll fly home after New Years."
Nate's face lit up. "Are you serious?"
Mackenzie nodded excitedly. "What do you say, Archibald? Wanna get away with me?"
Nate moves quickly, hands finding Mackenzie's waist and pulling her down to lay flat under him. He kissed her, deeply. When he pulled away, they each had matching smiles on their faces.
"I'll take that as a yes."
Well, what kind of beautiful shenanigans can these two get up to in Europe? Something romantic, probably. And the New Year will bring some busy schedules and serious decisions for our golden couple...