Patrol rounds went a little longer than usual. Destroyer girls kept coming up to the commander like groupies asking if he'd chosen someone for the stupid ball. To my relief, he said no to all of them, but it only reminded me of how many other ships want to be the commander's date. Not to mention it ate up our patrol time.

Since we were already out and about, he suggested we head into town and grab some lunch. I guess if we're gonna lose time on our work we should go all out. Despite that, going out for lunch didn't sound half bad, so I agreed.

We managed to find a nice place with outdoor seating to enjoy the beautiful day. We exchanged some mild banter before we eventually had our food. The commander dug right in, bringing our small talk to a temporary end, allowing my thoughts to take over again.

Suddenly, I didn't feel hungry. My heart started beating faster at the realization... that I'm eating lunch alone with the commander.

I won't lie, part of me wanted to believe this was a date. After all, we're alone, right? Nobody else would be joining us. He even took his hat off—letting his messy, luxurious hair flow freely—as if he knew this was more casual.

...nah. I'm sure he'd do with any secretary. Heck, I know for a fact he's been out with Dunkerque once or twice. She knows all the good places. And if she doesn't feel like going out, she can just whip up something herself like magic.

Tsk... listen to me. Maybe I'm more jealous of Dunkerque than I thought.

I looked up at him, and my heart was set ablaze. I sighed. Why did God have to make my commander so easy on the eyes? His hair shined with such luster in the sunlight, looking like black silk. I wonder if it feels like silk too? And his eyes glittered like diamonds. No wonder why all the ships fawn over him... including me.

Ugh... should I say something? I have him all to myself right now. He'll think I'm boring if I can't hold a conversation. Besides, I should start trying to get answers and see if... he might feel the same way. Or if he could in time. But... what do I ask? Part of me wants to be blunt, but the other part knows I can't without making it weird. Hey, Commander, do you like me? Do you find me attractive? Wanna take me to the ball? Want a girlfriend? That'd be suicide. And also not at all special, since I'm sure every other shipgirl wants to say that. And if I came off that strong, I'd sound like Akagi.

Still, I should take advantage of this opportunity. No other girls. No work. Just us. But... what the hell do I say?

"Jean? You okay?"

"Hm?"

What the... oh crap! I've been staring at him this whole time! And leaning on my hand! As if it couldn't be more obvious that I was staring!

I blinked as reality practically slapped me in the face.

"Y-Yeah, I'm fine!" I said, putting my hand down. Shit... how red is my face? It feels like it's on fire.

Ugh... very smooth, Jean.

I tried to look back, but it was tough to maintain eye contact. Why do I always gotta embarrass myself?

"You sure?" he asked. "You haven't touched your food at all."

I looked down. He's right. And right on cue, my stomach growled. So lost in my thoughts I forgot I was hungry.

"Don't worry about me. I'm alright," I said, digging into my food. Still warm, thankfully. And tasty. A little spicy, though.

"That's not what Algerie told me."

My stomach dropped.

"Algerie?" I said. "Is that what you two were discussing when I came in?"

He nodded. "She's really worried about you. Sounds like the rest of your friends are too."

Suddenly it feels cold out here.

"What'd she say?" I asked, taking a sip of water.

The commander pursed his lips. "That you haven't been yourself lately. Something about… you crying last night?"

PFFFFT

I spat water in shock, feeling some drops fall into my windpipe and throwing me into a coughing fit.

"*COUGH COUGH* Sh-She said what?!" I beckoned, covering my mouth as I hacked up my lungs.

"A-Are you okay?" the commander asked. I held up my finger to shut him up while I kept coughing. After a few seconds of disgusting coughing, I took some deep breaths. At least I didn't spit all over the table. Or all over the commander. But now my water's backwashed.

"Ugh... okay... I'm fine," I groaned. The commander handed me his own water, and I took a swig, feeling the remaining gunk clear away. "Thanks. Anyway, what the hell did Algerie tell you?"

Please don't say what I think you said, Commander...

"That she heard you crying last night."

Damn it. I wasn't hearing things. He knew about my spell last night. I sank slightly in my seat, feeling my cheeks heat up.

"What else did she say?" I asked, trying to change the subject to anything else besides me crying.

The commander sighed. "Well, she asked if I'd noticed anything, and to keep an eye on you."

"Hmph... I see..." I said, continuing to eat.

"Am I overworking you?" he asked. "If the workload is too much I can look into a new secretary—"

"No!" I cried, feeling my face heat up immediately. "I mean... the workload's fine. Nothing I can't handle."

Don't scare me like that, Commander! Jeez...

"Hmm... so if it's not the workload, then what is it?" the commander asked.

Tch... wouldn't he like to know?

"It's stupid crap," I said. "Nothing you need to concern yourself with."

"Too stupid even for me?" he asked, which gave me a chuckle.

"Commander, if I told you, you might discover pyrite instead of gold," I said.

He looked at me weirdly. "You mean... I won't like what I hear?"

"Look, it's just some personal stuff, alright?" I insisted. "They're my issues, and I'll deal with them myself."

Ah shoot, maybe I'm more nervous than I thought. Didn't even notice I'd cleaned my plate.

He sighed. "Jean, I can't let this go if it made you cry. If something's upsetting you, I wanna help in any way I can. You can talk to me about whatever you want, and it'll stay between us. After all, I gotta look out for you, right?"

Hmph... I wonder if you knew the truth... would you still wanna help me?

Damn it, did Algerie have to blab about me crying? Couldn't she have left that part out? I hope he doesn't think less of me. It's not like I can just walk away either. I'd see him later in the office anyway. I appreciate the concern from him and my friends, but I don't wanna be someone that needs to be "looked out for."

He's looking at me intently. There's no getting out of this. I wanna tell him. I really do. And he clearly wants to help. But if I told him and he rejected me... God only knows how far I'd spiral.

I thought falling for someone was supposed to be exciting, not soul-crushing. Who knew I'd be such a nervous wreck?

...what the hell am I thinking? What happened to that pep talk I gave myself earlier? I gotta be confident! I'm not weak! I'm Jean Bart, damn it! I gotta quit my whining and make things happen myself. Strength and confidence will win, not this idle bitching and moaning. I gotta show him why I'm the strongest Vichya Dominion battleship.

...battleship. There's that other thought that stung my heart last night. The reality of who I am. What I am. Hmm... well... I can't ask about his feelings for me, but maybe I can ask something else.

"Alright, if you insist," I said. "Lemme ask ya something."

He perked up. "I'm all ears."

He looked kinda cute right now, waiting for me to talk like a dog waiting for a treat.

"Commander, what do you see when you look at me?"

He looked confused.

"Huh?"

"You heard me," I said. "Ain't a trick question."

It didn't seem any less confused. More like he just accepted what he was told.

"Um... a pretty girl?"

...oh... that's... not what I expected to hear. Damn... how many times is he gonna make me blush today? I gotta up my game. Does he really think I'm pretty? Does he honestly...

...no. Don't get ahead of yourself. You did your hair and makeup, remember? You also put him on the spot, so he's probably trying to be nice.

It's still sweet, though. Put me in a better mood, that's for sure.

Oh crap, I'm playing with my hair.

"Good answer," I remarked, trying to play it off. I wish I could stop blushing, though. "So ya see me as a girl first then?"

"First?" he said. "Instead of...?"

"...a weapon," I said. "A disposable tool of mass destruction."

"Disposable?" he said, looking appalled. "Wait... have I been treating you like that?"

He looked slightly horrified.

"No no, not at all," I said, which seemed to calm him. "It's just something that kept me up last night."

"An identity crisis?" he asked.

I sighed. "Somewhat."

My heart felt cold, knowing all too well that wasn't the real reason why I cried.

"Well, if it gives you some peace, I see you and the rest of the girls as girls," he said. "You're a fearsome weapon on the battlefield, I won't deny that, but right now? You're just as normal as anyone."

"So we're not just weapons to you?" I asked.

"Of course not," he said. "Y'know, I'm actually kind of jealous of you girls."

"Really?" I asked. "Why's that?"

"You're basically superheroes," he said. "Able to materialize these big weapons out of nowhere and use them to fight off evil? Not to mention you can walk on water. I'd love to have superpowers like that."

A hero. Tsk... how laughable.

"Hmph... you'd rather live knowing your only purpose is to be a weapon of destruction and sink your sisters?" I asked. "The whole superpower thing sounds fun on paper, but when you're 'blessed' with the power of a warship, so much is expected of you. My name—some powerful pirate ship—sometimes it's a noble title that gives me pride. Other times... it's reminder of my artificial origins."

The commander was silent for a moment.

"I never thought of it that way," he said.

I sighed, resting my head on my hand, drawing circles on the table with my free hand.

"Honestly, I envy you as well, Commander," I said. "Being 'normal' is quite a superpower in and of itself. Your purpose in life is whatever ya make of it. Me? My purpose was decided before I took my first breath. It's part of my design. You call me normal, but I'm only as normal as a girl born from a wisdom cube can be."

Hmm... maybe I've been talking too much. The commander looked like he was deep in thought.

"Sorry, I'm rambling," I said.

"I don't mind," he said. "This is what kept you up last night?"

...not exactly.

"Yeah," I said. "Like I said, it's stupid."

"I don't think it's stupid," he said. "But Jean, it doesn't have to be that grim."

"Whaddya mean?"

"You've been given life, right? And you have free will," he said. "Who says you have to follow some arbitrary purpose? You seem like the type of girl who'd wanna forge her own path."

I chuckled. "Bold words from my own commander."

He rose an eyebrow. "Am I wrong?"

I shook my head. "Nope. You're right on the nose. But truth be told, the only reason we shipgirls ain't trying to kill each other is because of your leadership. Never thought I'd see the day where we'd all be under one banner. Can't be an easy task, I imagine."

He shrugged. "It's a lot of work, but it's worth it to bring some peace to the world."

"Tch... betcha don't mind being surrounded by girls all the time either, huh?" I remarked. "Really got swarmed by those destroyers earlier."

He blushed. Finally, a point for myself today.

"I-I mean... it's definitely a plus..." he stammered.

I rolled my eyes and chuckled. "At least you're honest."

"What I'm trying to say is that you girls are basically comic book superheroes, fighting off evil and villainy, and I think that's awesome. Artificial or not," he said.

Hm… I have a crush on a nerd, it seems.

"The grass is always greener, I guess," I said.

"Well, if it's any consolation, you're a hero to me," he said.

He gave me a soft smile. He really doesn't know about my life before joining the fleet, does he? He'd probably see me as a villain. Still, knowing he admires me like that is kinda nice.

"If that's the case, I'll do ya proud," I said.

"You feeling any better?" he asked.

"A little," I said. "Thanks for indulging me. I don't mean to be a downer all the time."

He smiled. "I don't mind what we talk about, as long as I can spend time with you."

My heart skipped a beat.

"You like spending time with me?" I asked, feeling my cheeks heat up. Figures. Right after I make him blush.

"Of course," he said. "My favorite part of having a secretary is getting to know them. I hope this isn't the only time we can talk like this."

Hmph... there's honestly nothing I'd love more than that.

"Well, stay on my good side and maybe we can," I said. That won't be hard for him, but I've at least gotta look confident, right?

"You alright?" he asked.

"Yeah," I said. "Why?"

"Your face is red," he said.

Oh, crap! Am I blushing that hard right now?

"I'm just fine," I said. "Don't worry."

He chuckled. "If you say so. It's actually... kind of cute."

...cute? He's not helping my situation. My face is only getting hotter. Cute? How do I take that? It's cute that I'm embarrassed? Wait... is he hitting on me?

I've got butterflies in my stomach now.

"Um! W-We should talk business before we go!" I said abruptly, making him flinch. "We've got a lot of lost time to make up."

"Oh... um... o-okay," he said, looking at me weirdly.

Sorry, Commander. I breaths, Jean. Deep breaths. Confidence.

"So, any idea how we're gonna attack that Siren stronghold?" I asked.

"Ah, yeah," he said. "I was trying to brainstorm while on patrol. I'll have to look at the report more closely when we get back to really formulate a strategy. I think I have one thing I wanna do for sure, though."

"What's that?" I asked.

"I wanna deploy you as the flagship," he said.

"Me?" I said. "Instead of Richelieu?"

"I was really impressed by your performance against the Siren carrier," he said. "I wanna see what you can do in a true leadership position."

A chance to prove myself to him? And Richelieu? What more could I ask for? Besides, it's been a while since I've been the flagship of anything since Richelieu and I joined under the same banner again.

"I won't let ya down," I said with a smirk. "Those Sirens won't know what hit 'em."

"Surely you aren't serious, Commander."

I felt my blood start boiling. I know that voice. The voice of an amorous foxgirl. I looked and sure enough I saw Akagi approaching us. Behind her was another foxgirl in blue with white hair.

"Hello, Akagi. Kaga." the commander said. "Serious about what?"

"Deploying a lowly battleship as the flagship," Akagi said.

...lowly battleship?

I flinched, feeling Akagi's tail flick the back of my head.

"For a Siren stronghold, surely you'd want a more capable ship spearheading the attack," Akagi said. "Perhaps the glory of the First Carrier Division, hmm?"

"If I recall, Shoukaku and Zuikaku couldn't get a single plane through that Siren carrier's defenses," I said. "And it was this 'lowly battleship' who fired the killing shot on that carrier."

"Shoukaku and Zuikaku? Tsk... how unfair for them to be compared to me," Akagi said. "And if I recall, you sustained a direct hit. Tell me, is it fun to be only half a ship?"

"Akagi..." Kaga said. "Shoukaku sustained a direct hit too..."

"Kaga, please," Akagi said.

"Hmph..." I grunted. "Half a ship or not, I could still blast you back to your fox den in a heartbeat."

Akagi cackled. "I'd like to see you try with that hideous, bulky rig you battleships haul around. We carriers have no need for such bulk. Except where it counts. Don't you agree, my dear Commander?"

Akagi leaned over and gave the commander a rather… lustful look, as well as using her arms to accentuate her boobs, practically shoving them in his face. The commander's cheeks were bright red.

"Wouldn't I make a far superior flagship, Commander?" Akagi said. "I'm a much better choice than that flat-chested whore."

Psh... looks who's calling who a whore.

"If you must know, I'm picking her because I was impressed by her performance against the Siren carrier," he said. "She's a strong battleship and I wanna see what she can do in a position of leadership."

"Is that so?" Akagi said, moving behind him to rub his shoulders. "'Strong.' An interesting choice of words..."

Alright, I don't need her flirting with him anymore.

"Akagi, if you have nothing else of value to say, then leave," I said. "We don't need any more interruptions today."

"Akagi, he answered your question reasonably," Kaga said. "Let's not waste their time—"

"Hmm... you're quite a feisty one, aren't you?" Akagi said, glaring at me. "Wouldn't the commander love to know that all that bite is just a façade?"

"What are you blabbering about?" I asked.

"I think you know," Akagi said. "Perhaps I could jog your memory by mentioning... the fountain?"

My heart dropped. It felt like my face was set on fire.

"H-How do you...?"

"How adorable," Akagi said. "The 'great' battleship Jean Bart reduced to tears over a wish for the commander's happiness. What was that last thing you said? 'Even if I can't be a part of it?' Tsk tsk... how heartbreaking..."

"Jean?" the commander said. "What's she talking about?"

"N-Nothing!" I barked. "D-Don't listen to her!"

My heart pounded like a horse's galloping... if that horse was galloping over lava.

"Such a revealing sight," Akagi said. "Who knew you harbored such sorrow, Jean Bart? Or should I say... Jeanie?"

"Don't call me that!" I shouted.

"Oh my. Do you not fancy that name?" Akagi said, smirking. "But it's so cute, and I hear your friends call you that all the time."

"Because they're my friends, idiot," I growled. "You ain't my friend."

"Is that so?" Akagi said. "Hmph... at least we agree on one thing, Jeanie."

"Grrah!" I growled, getting Akagi's face. "Why the hell were you watching me, anyway?!"

"I know everything when it comes to my precious commander," Akagi sneered. "It's almost cute. So many tears, almost enough to fill a second fountain, just to make a pointless wish. You flaunt such strength and bravado, but it's all just to hide the weak, insecure little girl inside. So... ugly."

"You don't know anything about me!" I barked.

"Girls, please calm down," the commander said.

"Please don't make a scene..." Kaga groaned, hiding her face.

"Oh, but Commander, I haven't told you the best part!" Akagi said. "What was your original wish going to be, Jeanie? Something about wishing the commander would—"

"You shut your god damn mouth!" I shouted.

"Why don't you just admit it?! You want to steal the commander from me!" Akagi shouted, her gaze as sharp as a knife. "You think wearing that slutty pirate outfit will win him over?!"

"What gives you the right to meddle in my private business?!" I screamed. "You don't own the commander!"

"The commander is mine! And I'll exterminate any ugly, bitchy insect who gets in my way!"

"ENOUGH!"

The commander's booming voice silenced both of us. And some of the patrons around us. I didn't know he could get so loud.

"I don't need my ships fighting amongst themselves," the commander said. "Akagi, if you have nothing business-related to report, then please leave. Jean Bart and I have a lot of work to do."

"Hmph," Akagi pouted. "Forgive me, Commander. I don't mean to show my unsightly side. Still, how pitiful that your secretary is so... fake."

"Leave. Now." I growled.

Akagi shot me a gaze sharp enough to cut diamond. She closed her eyes and took a breath before turning back to the commander.

"Commander, it's been so long since we've had lunch together. Far too long," Akagi said. "Perhaps I can cook for you sometime to make up for this."

"That'd be fine," the commander said. "Now please leave us be."

"Akagi, let's go," Kaga said, trying to lead Akagi away.

At least one of the foxgirls is sane.

Akagi sighed, like she was trying to calm down.

"Yes, Kaga. We should go. There's... much to be done," she said, leering at me. "Until next time, my darling." She gave him a kiss on the cheek. The only acknowledgement she gave me before leaving was a solid flick of her tail on my chest.

And then the foxgirls were finally gone.

Ugh... took you long enough to say something, Commander.

I sat down, burying my face in my hands. My face felt so hot. Just... deep breaths. Calm down.

"Um... Jean?" the commander asked. "What was Akagi saying about the fountain?"

"It's nothing," I said sternly.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes!" I said. "And I ain't talking about it anymore, ya hear?"

"O-Okay," the commander said, looking a little startled.

I sighed. "Sorry, didn't mean to snap at ya. It's just embarrassing."

"It's fine," he said. "I should apologize. I never warned you about Akagi when you started."

"She doesn't scare me," I said. "But Commander, you can't keep this up. You have to tell her the truth at some point."

"Will she even listen to me?" he asked.

"Look, one way or another you have to at least try," I said. "It's only a matter of time before Akagi explodes like a bomb and someone gets hurt."

He sighed. "You're right. I just don't know what to do."

"Well, if you need a shield, just gimme a shout, alright?" I said. "I ain't letting that bitch hurt you."

He nodded. "Thanks."

"Don't mention it," I said.

The commander chuckled. "I didn't think you'd get so mad over her calling you Jeanie."

"Ergh..." I groaned. "It was more of an acquired taste for me to begin with. That's why I only let my close friends call me that."

"I see," he said. "Maybe I'll get there one day?"

I managed a chuckle. "Well, stay on my good side and we'll see.

My mind conjured an image of him chucking a coin into the fountain, wishing that I'd allow him to call me Jeanie one day. A cute image that made me smile a little. Only time will tell, I suppose.

"Anyway, we've wasted enough time," I said. "We got a lot of work to do back at the office, so let's head out."

He nodded, and we were on our way.

I think I've finally discovered a flaw with him. A hint of cowardice. Though... I can understand not wanting to tell the truth, especially if Akagi is that crazy.

Besides... I wasn't honest about the fountain, nor can I bring myself to reveal my feelings. So who am I to talk?

Damn it, how did she know? I think I grossly underestimated Akagi's omnipotence when it comes to the commander.

Please God... don't make him think less of me...

Ugh... my head hurts. Let's just get back to the office. At least I can have some peace and quiet there. Can enjoy the commander's company some more, too.

Longer chapter, I guess. They're gonna be as long as they need to be to tell their part of the story. That's just how it be. Just a warning, the next chapter might be a bit. Going home for thanksgiving this coming weekend (masking up and staying safe, don't worry), spending time with the GF and the fam, plus the next WoW xpac releases next week because Blizz sucks at planning, and I like to keep my writing on the DL (bc frankly it's a guilty pleasure for me). But I'll work on bits and pieces here and there. Stay safe out there, and I hope you enjoyed. Cheers.