2005 April
Julieta
-Are you mental? A werewolf? Really?
-Calm down, Tira. And don't tell me what to do.
-I usually don't. You are the one who loves to intervene in our lives for safety, or for precaution or whatever, and we listen to you because you have our safety and best interest at heart. What happened to you? This isn't like you, not at all.
-He isn't a danger to us. He is just a boy, who likes me.
-A boy, who is a werewolf, who is designed to kill vampires.
-He could have already killed me if he wanted to.
-Oh, that's reassuring. Is this some kind of getting back at me for being with Edward? Are you still angry because he is in a coven with Jasper?
-No! I mean I still don't trust them, but he has nothing to do with this.
-But you trust him, over me, over your own kind.
-We have been over this, Tira a thousand times. Let's just keep our agreement: I don't say anything bad about Edward, you leave Luke alone.
-Julieta, sister, you know I'm not saying this out of spite. I care about you, and that's why I'm worried. I never said anything about your lovers in the past, even when I saw that they didn't mean anything to you. I respected your choice to be with whoever you wanted to be with. But now I think I would prefer any of them over Luke. Expect maybe Egbert. He was an asshole.
-I don't want any of them. I want Luke.
-Oh my god, you actually care about him. Do you love him?
-No, he is just my…lover. That's all, nothing more.
Julieta really wanted to believe this: that Luke as just another fling, that was fun while it lasted, but easy to forget and move on. But deep down she knew that there was more to this. She was always so cautious, sometimes overly, but when it came to Luke every worry just went out of the window. She thought about ending it, so Tira would leave her alone, but when she looked into those brown eyes she just couldn't do it. She wanted to be with him, but nothing about this was like her previous partners. Most of those were just in for the sex, sometimes for intellectual company, but never more. After poor Kurt, she made sure to let them know at the beginning that this was nothing serious. And she liked it this way: no attachment, no issues. After meeting with Tira and Lizzy she had fewer affairs, but she still liked to have fun from time to time. But this was something different. They had been going out for almost a month, and they still haven't had sex. And even stranger, Julieta didn't mind it. Not that she didn't want to have sex with him, hell no, but just spending time with Luke was nice. They could talk about anything. They discovered the hidden galleries and underground clubs in the city. They went dancing and hiking. Normal couple stuff, something she wasn't used to. On their fifth date, they went to the beach. Julieta brought her paints and a canvas. Luke rested his head on her shoulders and watched her paint the landscape for a while, but soon got bored.
-Come on, let's jump into the water!
-Let me finish this first.
-You have super speed, I bet you can finish it in a blink of an eye.
-I could, but art deserves my time.
-And I don't?
-Okay.
She took off her dress. She wore a red and black swimming suit under it.
-This is more proper attire than when we first met – she teased him.
Luke blushed.
-I told you I didn't mean to stare.
-Relax. I would have stared at me if I were you.
They ran hand in hand to the edge of the rock and jumped together. Julieta sank but Luke pulled her up. She leaned into his touch. He brushed her hair back.
-God, you are so beautiful.
She kissed him. His lips were salty from the water. His arms tightened around her as he kissed back. He was a good kisser, definitely had practice. When they broke apart he was grinning.
-Wow. That was…something. I wouldn't mind seconds.
-Idiot – but she kissed him again.
Then she swam away, looking behind her back, gesturing to Luke to follow her. They played in the sea like two careless teenagers, chasing and splashing each other. It was sundown when they finally got out. Luke laid in the sand, panting.
-That was fun.
Julieta ran her hand through his wet locks.
-We can have some more fun.
-Mmm, not yet. For someone who is immortal, you certainly like to rush into things.
-I just like to enjoy myself.
-Kissing is enjoyable. I wouldn't mind more of that.
Julieta rolled on top of him and kissed him deeply.
2005 May
-So you can each other's thoughts? That's creepy. I hope you don't think anything inappropriate about me while you are a wolf.
-No! – he turned a bright shade of red.
-What do they think about you dating a vampire? Isn't it against the rules or something?
-No. As long as you don't hunt in our territory they can't hurt someone who is…with a wolf.
-But they aren't happy about it.
-No. Sam, he is the Alpha, went ballistic when he found out. But it's not like he could do anything about it.
-Lucky me.
2005 May
Julieta was trying to live as a vegetarian – and failing miserably. She absolutely despised the taste of animal blood. She couldn't go a week without feeling the irresistible urge to kill. It didn't help that the others seemed to do it with way less effort, only slipping up a few times. She tried this for Tira, and Lizzy and maybe for, Luke too. Definitely not for the humans. But it seemed that this motivation just wasn't enough.
-Your eyes are red again.
-Yeah. An accident.
-Babe, I don't want to keep bringing this up, because I know this is hard for you.
-You have no idea how hard this is.
-You are, right, I don't. But please, can you try harder?
-I don't know. This is hard enough already.
-Please?
-Okay. I will try, but I can't promise anything more.
-That's enough for me.
She got back from that date feeling discouraged. This wasn't working, not for her. No matter how hard she tried. She buried her head in her hands with a sight. She looked up when she heard someone approaching. It was from Jasper. He sat next to her.
-I don't need your company.
-You have sadness radiating off you. I could feel it from miles.
-Well, I don't need your pity, either.
-It's not pity. More selfish really. I don't just sense other's emotions, I feel them, too to some extent. And I don't like being sad.
-Poor you. Should I apologize?
-Come on, Julieta. We don't like each other, we never did. But we both changed a lot. Maybe we should leave this petty hatred behind.
-This sounded dangerously close to a peace offering.
-You can take it for that. So what do you say?
-Fine. But don't expect me to be your best friend.
-I would never dare. So why the sadness?
-I hate this whole vegetarian thing. Everyone, Tira, Lizzy, Luke, expects me to suddenly convert to this lifestyle, and they don't care what I want. Just because I live like we are made to live I'm the bad guy.
-Well if you don't want it, no one can make you. And this is not something you can do half-heartedly.
-Thanks. I feel so much better – she snorted.
-You know, all of the others followed this diet from the day they became vampires. Sure, some of them had mishaps, but this was always their way of life. You and I, well lead a very different life. I first started doing this for Alice, to make her happy, not because I cared about humans.
-You really love her, don't you? To do this for her.
-Yes, I love her. It's so different than Maria and me. I cared about her, I think I even loved her, but she never loved me.
-Glad you finally realized that.
-You knew, even back then? Of course, you did. You knew her better than anyone. You could have warned me.
-You wouldn't have listened.
-True. Anyway, I started it for Alice, but on the way, I realized that I got rid of so much guilt, guilt I didn't even know I was feeling. I could sense their emotions too, you know, the terror right before they died. I don't miss that. I still want their blood, I'm the least reliable in the family, but I'm trying. If you can find someone to do it for it gets easier.
-I wish this was so easy.
-It isn't. I'm not as naive as Carlisle. I know that this is not for everyone. It's your decision. Just make sure you don't regret it.
2005 June
She slowly opened about her past to Luke. Not the whole story, just glimpses.
-Maria was okay at first. I have never traveled before I was changed. We went to all sorts of places together, places I have never even dreamed of. I remember spending almost a month with sketching every animal at the Gran Desierto de Altar.
-I was absolutely furious with Tira at first that she let Lizzy hang around. She was like a lost puppy, always there. But when you get to know her, she is a really sweet soul.
-Lizzy has a fifth sense when it comes to the best places in town. WE move, and in a few days, she just knows where is the fun. She dragged us into so many crazy parties.
-I had to secretly paint Tira for the first decade because after that first portrait she never let me do it. Then she found some of my sketches. She was really mad but eventually gave into it.
2005 June
-Don't move! I'm almost finished.
-What about I shift? Wolves look cooler, don't you want to paint one?
-Maybe later.
-Where are your paintings, Julieta?
-In a storage unit, or at my house.
-No, I mean the ones you painted earlier.
-Most of them were lost or destroyed. I moved a lot, and back then you couldn't transport things easily. And paper is not the best material when it comes to the test of time. Later I tried to save them by storing them or giving them to galleries under false names. I tried to find and buy back some of my favorites. Strange. I love preserving the moment, even though I remember everything. And I'm sad when I lose these mementos.
2005 July
They went on a long weekend in the mountains. It was a long drive, but when they finally arrive and Julieta got out of the car she admitted herself, that it was worth it. A small wooden cabin, built deep within the forest, surrounded by pines.
-My grandpa built it. We would come up here every other weekend, no matter the weather, and hunted, fished, did gardening. All those simple things, but they seemed like the most interesting thing in the world for an eight years old. He left it o me when he died. Sadly, I don't have the time to come up here as often as he did, but I try my best to keep it in good condition.
Luke gathered firewood while Julieta explored the cabin. It was as lovely int he inside as it was int he outside. One bedroom, a bathroom with a big wooden vat, a small kitchen with dried herbs hanging from the ceiling.
-I wanted to roast some marshmallows. Do you mind if I light some fire? I know vampires don't like it.
Julieta made a flame appear in her hands and lighted the bonfire.
-Wow. How? Can you all do that?
-No. Some of us have special powers. Mine is controlling fire. Pretty ironic, if you think about it, since it is the only thing that can destroy me permanently.
She sat close to him, watching the flames slowly die. The nocturnal animals were waking up. She didn't avert her eyes from the fire when she started talking.
-I was engaged once.
-Really? – he sounded concerned.
-Yes. When I was a human. I was supposed to get married in a few days when Maria came back for me.
-Why didn't you change him?
-I probably would have, but Maria got there first. She killed him.
-I'm sorry.
-Don't be. You didn't do it. And I can't remember him anyway. Not his face, his voice, or even how I felt about him. I only know his name, and that I thought I loved him. I haven't allowed myself that kind of emotional dependence since.
-You deserve to love and be loved again. It's not a weakness. Julieta…I love you. And that doesn't make me or you weak.
She didn't reply, just squeezed his hands tighter. Later that night Luke was preparing the bed.
-Do you want the bed? I can sleep on the floor.
-Luke, I don't sleep.
-I know. I just…forget about it? I can still sleep on the floor if you want to lie down.
-I think this bad is big enough for two.
She yanked him closer, on top of herself, and kissed him. She clasped one of her arms on his back while trying to get his shirt off with the other.
-Are you sure? – he panted between kisses.
-Damn right I'm sure. Just shut up and kiss me.
After it, when he was sleeping naked next to her, Julieta thought about getting up to draw him. But she didn't want to move, this felt so right, lying pressed to him, listening to every breath. Moving might shatter this perfect moment to pieces.