Chapter Twelve

Spock had attempted to mediate but he had only succeeded marginally. He had used his limited success to focus on solving the mystery as to why his control was failing. He knew Vulcans were joined in a low-level telepathic field. It was faint, like background noise, but there.

The answer to his failing control came to him during his third attempt to fully calm the chaos of his mind. Vulcan of old was not the Vulcan he knew. Seven thousand years into the past his people had not encountered Surak and had not learned to temper and control their emotions through teachings. The man had not even been born yet.

During that time, pre-reform Vulcan, his people were a savage, almost primitive, war-like race where their passions ruled. It had been considered a shameful time period but Spock currently found it to be liberating. His father had once told him Vulcan emotion ran deep, far deeper than that of humans, and Spock had not believed him, his youth and ignorance denying this fact. However, he now had no choice but to admit his father's truths.

Spock explored the caves where they were staying. It had a small network of tunnels in which Spock discovered a small waterfall which provided safe drinking water which would still require boiling or purification from the carbon filters which had been thoughtfully provided from Mr. Atoz. He continued his exploration and was further pleased when he found a veritable paradise of trees, unfamiliar fresh fruit and vegetables surrounding the waterfall. It appeared the leaves were able to photosynthesize via bioluminescent rocks as well as small holes that led to the surface where patches of sunlight bled through like stars in the night sky.

He had also come across several pools of water that were heated from hot springs deep in the earth which served to heat the caverns above as well as provide them with warm water in which to bathe and relax. Small furred mammals, similar to Terran rabbits ran through the plants that inhabited their underground layers which appeared easy to catch and would provide much needed protein for the two of them. Even the abhorrent thought of eating meat did not seem to disturb him in his altered state.

It was fortuitous that these things were close enough to sustain them during their time here so outside excursions would be rare except to kill larger game. He spent a short time finishing his trek and came across a small patch of grains that closely resembled earth durum wheat, clearly planted by an individual as well as a series of primitive traps that were likely used to catch the small mammals. They had vines and weeds covering them and were brittle with age. Spock estimated them to be over a century old.

If he had any lingering doubt of them not being the first to be trapped here these signs were enough to dispel that thought.

He knew that Jim would be waking soon and he made his way back to their new 'home'. He knew that she would be angry with him and may possibly attempt to leave again, likely injuring herself further, and Spock may not be able to repair the damage a second time. She will need his help to survive and he may need hers.

Upon entering the cavern, he inhaled a cleansing breath to prepare himself for the inevitable argument that Jim would likely instigate and seated himself to watch her so he would be prepared when she regained consciousness.

He watched her sleep, secure in the knowledge that his actions were justified. She slept on, unaware of her audience and Spock felt his emotions, unable and unwilling to control them more than what was required to prevent himself from becoming as savage as his ancestors. He'd never controlled them to the degree that those on his home world had, preferring to embrace both his human and Vulcan heritage, but he still employed some practices. Being here made it...difficult.

Jim was magnificent in repose. Her long, wavy blond hair shimmered in the light of the fire and her skin was sun kissed despite her years aboard starships as if the stars themselves had accomplished this rather than the suns that warmed the many planets she had visited during her time in space. Her body boasted strong, lithe muscles but, also, soft feminine, curves. He longed to see her cerulean eyes that sparkled and shone in the light and the intelligence behind them; to feel her thoughts that fit and complimented his own.

In contrast to her intelligence, she seemed fearful, unwilling or unable to see his love for her-yes, he did love her. He also knew she loved him. Her feelings for him weren't simply because he shared his face with his duplicate. They had started out that way but her care for him had changed in the short time they'd known each other. He had sensed this when he had been holding her through his touch telepathy. It had only been a few times he had had the fortune to experience her true self when he had been able to place his hands on her smooth, soft skin. He longed to feel it again. Her mind was addicting, much like a drug that he needed and wanted. He longed to meld with her and wrap himself in her thoughts.

It was not long before the object of his thoughts began to stir from her slumber, groaning and shifting beneath the furs from the animals that likely inhabited the icy landscape outside of their current 'home'.

She slowly shifted onto her side and her gaze found his, full of anger with fire in her eyes. She abruptly turned away from him and a spike of anger lanced through him at her clear rejection.

"I will not apologize for my actions. They were warranted and necessary for your protection. I will continue to keep you safe from the dangers on this planet and, if needed, from yourself."

She did not even turn when she deigned to give him a response. "Fuck. You."

Spock mourned the loss of the progress he had made with her on board the Enterprise and did not appreciate the discord currently between them. He was hopeful, however, that it would end at some point. It would be a long eternity on this planet with only the two of them as company if they remained at odds with one another. Even if she hated him forever he would still care for her and love her for she was his t'hy'la.

She spun around abruptly to face him, her face twisted in her anger at him. "How dare you!"

"How dare I what?" He asked, knowing the answer but wishing for her to state it to make her understand so that the ensuing argument may be put to rest so that they may move past this issue. Every possible avenue of return had been explored and dismissed as impossible in his mind. There simply was no way back to their time.

"How dare you stop me." She snapped.

"As Doctor McCoy would say 'It was for your own good'."

"For my own good? I want to go home and I know you want the same."

Spock sighed and looked away, searching for a suitable response. "There is no way home and there may never be."

She laughed humorlessly. "You won't even try! There has to be a way."

"There is not." He stated simply. "You must accept this."

"There has to be a way. The doorway cannot be sealed forever. If it can be opened once, it can be opened again." She explained her faulty logic and Spock could understand her optimism but he could not understand her determination to want to want to believe in what was not true.

"That possibility is unlikely."

"Unlikely but not impossible. There's also the possibility that since we are not from Sarpeidon that our physiology is different enough that we might be able to get through." She argued.

"Our biological differences are not vast enough for that." Spock explained, willing her to accept their situation.

"I will still try."

"Very well." He brought himself to his full height despite his sitting position. "I order you to remain here."

"Oh, you order me?" She said the words, her voice thick with sarcasm. "We're the same rank."

Spock's eyes found the ceiling at her tone and he faced her, struggling to maintain his calm. "I do order you by virtue of the fact that I do possess seniority due to the fact that, not only have I been a commander for far longer than yourself, but your appointment to commander was also on a trial basis and you are not from this universe therefore, your status was probationary and I, officially, remove your appointment."

"Well, tough shit. I'm not following that order. We're not on the fucking Enterprise." She shot back.

"I believe you are emotionally compromised."

"You bet your ass I am. I'm leaving." She threw away her coverings and tensed, ready to flee, her injured limb beginning to move towards the floor.

"I cannot allow you to do that." Spock made to stand, moving to put himself between her and the door that led to the chamber which housed the entrance

"You can't allow me? What are you gonna do? Tie me down?"

"If the situation calls for it. I would, however, hope that it does not escalate to the point that I would be forced resort to more extreme force." He growled.

Jim's body tensed, ready for a fight which Spock knew he win. "You wouldn't dare!" She hissed.

"I would do so to prevent your injury or death. I will not allow you to come to harm."

She looked at him closely through narrowed eyes and Spock did not appreciate the scrutiny from her, the judgement from her. "There's something wrong with you, Spock. You need help. Normally you would never give up so easily. What the fuck?"

"Perhaps there is but the fact remains that we cannot leave." He admitted.

"I won't give up. I don't believe in no win scenarios." She continued her argument and Spock was done arguing.

"Then you are not thinking logically." He snapped and Jim tilted her head, her blue eyes watching him carefully.

"You're the one not thinking logically and are emotionally compromised. Why do you want us to stay? Why are you giving up so easily?" She asked suspiciously.

"Because I know we cannot leave."

"How? How do you know we can't leave?"

He took a calming breath. "The available evidence shows me this."

Jim threw up her hands in frustration. "What fucking evidence?"

Spock sighed. "The fact that it was explained to us by Mr. Atoz that those transported to the past could not return and there is also proof all around us that there was even a previous inhabitant in this very cave."

"That is not conclusive proof that we cannot return. It just shows that we weren't the first."

"I have explained the evidence of this. If you are unwilling to believe this I will have no choice but force you to."

"Fuck. You."

"I am sorry, t'hy'la." He moved close to her and knelt, gently carding fingers through her hair but she pulled away, lying down and facing away from him. "Don't fucking call me that, whatever it is, and don't touch me."

Spock's hand closed into a fist at her rejection, hurt flowing through him as his heart squeezed in his side. He closed his eyes and sighed, walking away to the fire to give her some time to absorb what happened.

"I am truly sorry but the sooner you accept these facts, the better off you will be."

xXx

A sense of betrayal settled in her mind, thick and insidious, at Spock's actions, or rather, lack of action. Both. Whatever. She just couldn't believe it. It was as if the universe was laughing at her, throwing her into impossible situation after impossible situation. Not only had she been transported to another universe, now she was in another time and with the one person she was struggling to not love and fight against her feelings.

She wanted a way out. She wanted to push away what she felt so her heart could and would not be broken when he discovered her past and who she was and become disgusted with her and reject her like the Spock in her own universe or when she was eventually transported home and away from him. She would not be able to handle it a second time.

And now? Now, she was well and truly stuck with the one person that she loved, yes-she couldn't delude herself any longer. Jim loved him. She tried to push everything away. She couldn't let him know. She wondered how long she would be able to stop this feeling because she could only hold out so long and being here with him and only him was making it harder.

The hard part? The hard part was staying angry. She knew at a base level that he was protecting her. His behavior towards her had been nothing but kindness and, dare she say it, love. It was more than him simply doing his duty to protect a crew member.

She also suspected that the planet or time period was, in some way, affecting him. His behavior seemed unusual, different from what she had seen on the ship and that made her nervous and unsure. She didn't remember much of what had happened when she had woken the first time around but she remembered the exquisite feeling of being surrounded in so much love that she was sure she would drown in it. It had been powerful and all consuming and she wasn't sure if it had been nothing more than a dream.

She spent the day refusing to acknowledge Spock even when he brought her food, only moving from her place on the makeshift bed to use the "restroom" which was little more than a hole in the ground a good distance away from the cave. Every movement was done under Spock's supervision and assistance but she never said a word to him and pretended he wasn't there other than her use of him as a crutch and only because he had demanded it and she had been in too much pain without it.

At night they shared the bed and Jim clung to the edge but every morning she found him wrapped around the her like an octopus. Nightmares that had plagued her since childhood never appeared and she always woke to a feeling of calm. He didn't mention it and neither did she.

It was three days before she decided to break the silence, her anger thinning in the face of Spock's continuous diligent care.

"I think I'm gonna teach Ensign Dax a few basic gymnastics moves. Maybe get her into it when we get back." She told him, stubbornly refusing to acknowledge their forced imprisonment in the past.

She was thankful when Spock chose to follow her example when he answered. "Are you certain? She is quite accident-prone."

"The clumsy ones are usually just clumsy because of nerves. I bet she'd be amazing once she learns confidence and I think she'd be great." Jim poked at the fire with a stick causing embers to fly up. "Besides, in my universe, Emony Dax wasn't a nurse nor was she an ensign. She was a gymnast known all over the Galaxy. She'd won hundreds of competitions and was the most graceful being I've ever seen. She was so confident that she'd put me to shame in the academy." She laughed at the memory. "She also had an ego the size of her home planet Trill and with good reason. She was the best." Jim smiled at the memory of seeing her Emony in action. The graceful way she had moved through her sets, flying and twisting in the air, only to land with almost no sound.

"You had a sexual relationship with her." Spock growled and the thick stick that he'd been using to tend the fire snapped in his hands.

A hot flood of anger filled her and Jim's grip on her own stick tightened. "No! Bones did. Not me. I was their wingman. I'd set them up." She turned towards the fire, stabbing it viscously, the height of the fire mirroring her emotions as it increased. "And, even if I had, it's none of your damned business." She snapped.

"It is my business, Jamison!" He snapped.

Jim's focus turned towards the Vulcan at the uncharacteristic behavior and she scrutinized him closely. His face was flushed green with spots of color high on his cheeks, his eyes seemed to be dark and almost predatory as they were trained on Jim and she shivered at the intense focus aimed directly at her.

Shifting closer to him, she reached out a hand to check his temperature, suddenly very worried. "Spock, are you feeling ok?" She asked and his hand shot out, gripping her wrist in a hard, unrelenting grip. She winced in pain as the delicate bones ground against each other. He suddenly released her and stood, scrambling to move away from her and looking at his hands in a sort of detached horror.

"I am well, commander. I...apologize. I am in need of meditation." He started to move away to the adjacent chamber.

"I'll say." She mumbled.

He turned back to her, almost angry. "Do not move from your position and rest your ankle. I will know if you do not listen." He snapped and Jim bit her lip and frowned, now very concerned about him. This wasn't like him.

She watched him leave and decided to heed his words, hoping that by giving him space he'd return to his original state soon. She turned her wrist, noticing ring shaped bruises the size of his fingers already appearing. Something was very wrong here.