Memories of a stranger, Chapter 10
/
Jay awoke with a terrible headache and a loud ringing in his ears. He was incredibly tired and had no idea where he was or what had happened. He heard noises around him, but the ringing in his ears was at first much louder than the outside world. Then, his body seemed to adjust and he realized, that someone was talking to him.
"Jay! Can you open your eyes for me?" It was Will... It was Will's voice that he heard. "Jay?"
He tried to focus on his brother and with fluttering eyelids, he finally opened his eyes. Everything was blurry, but the white and green colors made him understand, that he was in a hospital room. His eyes finally focused and he looked at Will, as his brother leaned over him.
"Very good... stay awake.", the latter said and Jay felt a hand on his cheek. "Welcome back."
Jay just looked at him, exhausted. He was completely dazed and he didn't remember how he got here.
"What...?", he tried to ask a question, but his tongue lay heavy in his mouth.
"Don't try to speak yet... I'll explain everything later. You're in Med, everything will be fine, okay?"
Jay nodded slightly and closed his eyes again. Only seconds later, he was back in a deep sleep.
/
When he woke up the next time, he already found it easier to concentrate. He realized, that Will was sitting next to his bed, looking at him scrutinizingly.
"What happened?", Jay asked, noticing that he was hoarse and that his throat hurt when he spoke.
"You were unconscious for quite a while. There was an explosion.", Will answered. "A package bomb."
All at once he remembered what had happened in Fiora's apartment and he wanted to sit up. But Will reacted immediately and put a hand on his uninjured shoulder. With gentle pressure he held him down on the mattress.
"Don't!"
Distraught, Jay looked at him.
"How is Fiora?", he then asked tensely. "Is she alive?"
"She's alive. Calm down, don't move, okay?"
Will let go of him and sat back down. "I'll tell you what's going on if you promise, that you'll stay calm."
"Will...", slowly Jay was getting scared and his heartbeat increased, which the monitor next to his bed immediately indicated with a warning tone.
"Please, stay calm...", Will turned off the alert tone. "We'd have to sedate you, if you..."
"What? Are you crazy?", Jay interrupted him. "Just tell me what's going on!"
Will leaned forward a little and propped his elbows on the mattress. Then he put a hand on his arm. Jay wondered about the unusual gesture.
"The package bomb was stuffed with nails.", Will began. "You were hurt, especially your back."
He swallowed, trying to process the information as Will spoke. He wasn't in pain...so how bad could it be?
"And Fiora?", he asked.
"Fiora got most of the blast, but she's alive. Let me tell you what's going on with you first..."
Jay was silent now, but his tension was growing.
„You had Surgery and we removed the splinters in your back. Some had gone almost to your spinal cord. We were able to remove them, but because of the injuries there is a swelling in the area of the fourth Lumbar Vertebra. The nerve impulses cannot be transmitted at the moment. We could not detect any reaction to stimuli. At the moment... I'm afraid, your legs are paralyzed."
Jay blinked, trying to process what he had just heard. He looked down at himself and immediately tried to move his legs. Only now he realized, that he actually couldn't feel anything from his waist up. For a moment, he felt as if he could no longer breathe as the realization set in. His heart began to race.
"How long?" was all he asked.
"How long does it last? It varies... Days, maybe weeks. You'll get Corticosteroids and maybe we'll have to puncture again or put a drain in to relieve the pressure. That remains to be seen. Your prognosis is good though, you'll definitely be able to walk again."
Jay closed his eyes and pushed away the thought that he might be tied to this bed for weeks. He tried to fight down the rising panic.
"And what about Fiora?", he then asked again, glancing at his brother.
Will took a breath and he hesitated before speaking further. Jay tried to calm himself and brace himself internally. He understood by now, that there would be no good news here. It was bad, he realized.
"She took the brunt of the bomb.", Will began. "Her hands are badly injured, especially her left hand. It's going to take some more surgery here. But what worries us the most is the fact, that some splinters have entered her brain. She has already been operated twice... At the moment, however, she is in a coma."
"An induced coma?"
"No... She didn't wake up after the Anesthesia wore off. Some damage to the brain is quite extensivel. She had quite a few Hemorrhages in some brain areas."
"I want to see her," he said.
Will shook his head. "You're not fit for transport at the moment."
"No...", Jay said in disbelief and he tried to push himself up, but Will held him back. "None of this can be happening!"
"Be reasonable!", Will said. "You can't go to her right now. I'm sorry! But I'll keep you updated with everything, I promise!"
Jay felt despair gripping him now and tears suddenly welled up. How could it have come to this? Why hadn't he been more careful?
"I'm sorry.", he heard Will say again, and Jay turned his head aside, so his brother wouldn't see him crying. "I'll give you something to calm down, we'll talk again later..."
"Don't.", Jay said immediately, without looking at him. "I don't want to be drugged. Please, just leave me alone."
"Okay...", Will hesitated for a moment, squeezing his arm, but then he stood up. "I'll check on any news on Fiora and then I'll be back. I'll be on call all the time, if you need me... Jay?"
Jay didn't respond. He fell silent and closed his eyes.
/
Just hours later, Jay received a visit from Seargent Voight and Adam Ruzek. The colleagues must have been informed that he had woken up. The two detectives approached his bedside.
"Hey.", Adam said. "How are you?"
"Halstead.", Seargent Voight greeted him. "We've been worried about you."
"Sorry, Searge.", he replied, looking at them.
"It's good to see you awake.", Voight pointed to the chair next to Jay's bed and Adam sat down, while he remained standing. He crossed his arms in front of his chest. "Do you remember what happened?"
Jay nodded, trying to make a statement as accurate as possible. "A package bomb. The package was outside Fiora's front door. It wasn't particularly heavy, not labeled, I couldn't see any special features. It was taped and I could only make out some paper, when she opened it."
"We've already done some investigation.", Voight said after Jay finished his description. "We were able to recover partial prints on some of the pieces."
Jay raised his eyebrows. He was surprised that something had already been found. "Do you have a name yet?"
"Alexander Cayden.", Adam said.
Jay stared at him in disbelief. "The founder of the Darknet Forum? The Admin?"
"Cayden is an IT specialist and programmer. He´s a media mogul in Asia. He has money and influence. We went to his last address and were able to secure hard drives and disks, lots of sick stuff," Adam explained further. "He seems to be the mastermind behind many abuse cases."
"What does that mean?", asked Jay.
"We found recordings and videos.", Voight said hesitantly. "Even from the time, when Woods took his first victims."
Jay couldn't believe what he was hearing. "You have videos of Fiora and the other two victims?", he asked and Voight nodded. Jay swallowed and he felt himself tense up inside. "Why hadn't anyone found out about this before? And why are we just finding this out now? Does he want us to go after him? I mean... the prints, the videos? This was staged."
"This Cayden guy knows how to make himself invisible. He always stayed in the background, but headed for money. He knows we've been hunting him since the Forum came into our focus. We think he's playing a game with us and you and Fiora were his first victims."
"That's sick!" Jay groaned. His heart was racing and he wished he could do something. Upset, he looked at Voight and Adam.
"We assume that he and Woods knew each other back then and that Woods was the active part, while Cayden just wanted the recordings.", the Seargent continued. "He set up a network and sold the data on the Darknet. It was also certainly him who found out, that Fiora had returned to Chicago and who ultimately organized Woods' escape. We found Fiora's home address and the Precinct address on his laptop."
"We went back to the scene where Erin and Fiora were held. There, we found a hidden camera that had transmitted the video to an unknown IP address.", Adam reported. "Again, we suspect Cayden is behind this."
Jay felt himself growing angrier. "He's been cashing in on the suffering of these women."
"Looks like it.", Adam said. "We're trying to find this sick bastard, but so far he's been able to hide."
"He's actually playing us.", Jay said. "All that evidence..."
"That was deliberate. A show of force," the Sergeant said. "Cayden has the means to leave the country at any time and go into hiding, if he wants to."
Jay looked out the window and took a breath. He was agitated and angry and worst of all, he couldn't participate in the hunt for this sick bastard. He was trapped here.
"We just wanted to update you on the latest findings.", Voight put a hand on his shoulder. "You need to get back to rest now... Get well quickly and we'll do our best out there, okay?"
"You'll get any news right away.", Adam added. "Get well soon."
Jay realized that he really had to rely on his colleagues now. He had no choice. He tried to gain some control over his emotions.
"Thanks...", Jay therefore only said wanly and nodded at them, while the two turned to leave.
/
For the whole evening and the next day, Jay was brooding over the news that Voight and Ruzek had brought him. So many officials had already been involved with the cases, but Cayden had apparently managed to stay in the background all this time.
He wondered how much money he was paying people like Woods or Parker so that they would not spill the beans during interrogations. It had to be vast sums. By now, he also understood why Campell had put himself in the line of fire twice, first assisting in Woods' escape attempt and later showing up at the handover. It was money... Campell had allowed himself to be bought. Fortunately for them, however, he had come clean at the Precinct after he had been arrested.
He just wondered why Cayden had come forward now. It couldn't just be because of the Forum. Was it because he hadn't gotten what he wanted in the end? Fioras death? Was he now carrying out a public vendetta against her? He was glad, that Seargent Voight had placed a guard outside Fiora's hospital room.
/
On the next day, Jay was trying to find useful information about coma patients on the Internet. His brother had told him that Fiora's condition still hadn't changed. He was currently reading an article on his Smartphone, when someone knocked on the door frame. He turned his head and discovered a woman in her late 50s. It took him only a few seconds to recognize her. It was Fiora's mother.
"Mrs. Hillsen?", he asked in surprise. Immediately, he put the cell phone down.
She smiled weakly and stepped inside. "You still recognize me, that's nice."
Jay nodded. Of course he recognized the woman. They, along with their friends, had also met at Fiora's parents' house in the past and Mrs. Hillsen had always been a great hostess.
"How are you, Jay?", she asked as she stepped up to the bed and looked at him.
She looked tired and her eyes revealed, that she had just been crying.
"I'll be fine, Mrs. Hillsen.", he said. He certainly didn't want to bother her with his problems. "More importantly, how is Fiora? Were you just with her?"
She sat down on the chair that was always placed next to his bed and looked at him sadly. "I just talked to the doctors. They don't know what's going to happen next... She's on an artificial respirator and will probably never be able to use her left hand properly again, if she wakes up."
"Give her time.", Jay said immediately.
"The doctors have advised me that we should try to take her off the ventilator tomorrow, to check if she's breathing on her own. They can only do that with my consent."
"Will you do that?", he asked anxiously.
"If she's not breathing on her own, then I want them to reconnect the machine. I'll spend the last of our money to make sure that she gets the best care for as long as possible, that's for sure."
Jay breathed in... so the doctors would already go as far as to discontinue the ventilator? This was upsetting news. He was glad that Fiora's family wouldn't let that happen.
"Have they informed you about what happened?", he then asked.
She started to cry. "We only found out about what happened here through the police. She hadn't told us anything."
"Certainly, not to worry you.", he said, trying to explain her actions.
"But, what she went through...why didn't she say anything?", she wiped away the tears. "But I know that you were with her, when the package bomb exploded... Were you two close?"
"Mrs. Hillsen, Fiora and I...we've become very close in the last few weeks.", he said carefully.
She smiled through her tears. "I'm so glad that she at least had you. She's been so terribly closed off these last few years. And so alone... I always thought I got another child back after the incident with Woods back then."
"I'm so sorry.", he said. "We tried to do everything we could to find Woods and his aides. All of this... this shouldn't have happened."
"I'm sure you did your best,", she said, reaching across the bed and grabbing his uninjured hand. "I'm very grateful for that. Thank you for being there for her."
Jay was moved by her words and he looked at her with tears in his eyes. "Of course, Mrs. Hillsen."
"Please, call me Amelia.", she said, patting his hand. She hesitated for a moment before she continued. "I have a big favor to ask of you."
"Okay?"
"My husband, unfortunately, is very ill. He has COPD and depends on me to help him at home. Therefore, I can't stay in Chicago for long... I know you're not well yourself and it's not right for me to ask you to do this... But would you keep us up to date with everything? With everything you hear about her condition?"
He nodded. "Yes, of course. That's no problem at all."
"Thank you.", she smiled again. "It takes a huge weight off my shoulders knowing you're there."
Jay was glad that she had come to him. It was important that Amelia knew, that Fiora had been doing well and that she had blossomed again. That hopefully, she now had the strength to fight for her survival, that they had plans.
Although it was hard for him, he decided to tell her about the last weeks that they had spent together.
/
The next day, Jay felt his mood tilt and the well known feeling of depression begin to gnaw at him. The last few days had been upsetting and consuming, but at least he had managed to keep himself busy. He had been able to give hope to Fiora's mother, even though it had been painful for him to bring back the memories.
But now he had the feeling, that nothing was moving forward... He looked out the window. That morning he felt, like he hadn´t slept for weeks. He had been at a loss for words during Will's visit and he had really just been waiting for him to leave again. He turned his head, as someone entered the room.
"Dr. Charles.", he wondered to see the chief of Psychiatry come into the room. Then he cursed inwardly... Of course, Will must had sent him to see him.
"Hello Mr. Halstead.", the older Medic said, sitting down with him. "We certainly didn't think we'd ever be talking under these circumstances... How are you doing?"
Jay frowned and looked at him searchingly. Maybe this wasn't about him at all, it flashed through his mind. "Did something happen to Fiora?", he asked anxiously.
Dr. Charles did not answer immediately, he took his time. "I'm here to check on you first. But I can report to you, that an attempt was made this morning to take Miss Hillsen off the Respirator. Unfortunately, unsuccessful."
"That means, she has to remain on the Ventilator?"
The doctor nodded. "Yes, for now. We'll try again soon to see if there's any progress."
"Dr. Charles, tell me. What do you think about Fiora's chances?"
"It's all open. Similar to yours.", he tried to turn the conversation back on him.
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, that Miss Hillsen may wake up first thing tomorrow, or she may not wake up for weeks or months. And you'll be able to walk again. Maybe tomorrow, or maybe not for a few weeks. It's an incredible burden that sits on you, not being able, to take any influence. Don't you think?", he looked at him promptly.
Jay had no intention of explaining himself to the doctor in any way. He hadn't asked for this conversation.
"What bothers me much more is, that I'm a burden to others right now. You don't have to do this, take care of other patients. I'm fine.", he told the Doctor.
Dr. Charles did not address his dismissal. "You're not a burden to anyone. The staff is here for you, of course. That's their job. What you've been through is a terrible trauma. I just want to make sure that this hasn't opened up even older wounds."
"I don't understand..."
"This wasn't the first bomb blast, you've experienced. That you survived..."
Now he realized what Dr. Charles was getting at. His past. His time in the Military. Something he certainly wouldn't talk about here and now.
"With all due respect, Sir. I don't want to think about my time in the Regiment right now."
"Then you don't have nightmares? Trauma-associated thoughts?"
"No, Sir.", Jay felt himself becoming tense inside. "You're right to think that it's frustrating as hell to have to lie here, while my friend is fighting for her life just a few feet away! That I'm in here, while my Unit is out looking for this Monster and I can't help with that. I should be able to do my part!" Upset, he looked at the doctor.
Dr. Charles took in a deep breath, before saying anything. "You have to have trust, that this time, you are not the one in control. You have to understand, that the others are just as energetic and willing to do their part. The doctors over there are doing everything they can, to keep Miss Hillsen alive. They know what they are doing. And your colleagues, your Unit, is doing everything they can to find the Perpetrator. They are good at their jobs, too. You know that. Allow yourself to step back and to get better."
Jay blinked and looked at him. He knew the Medic was right. But it was so damn hard to admit it. So he just nodded.
Dr. Charles finally got up from the chair. "All right. You know where to find me, if you need to talk." He headed for the door.
"Thank you, Dr. Charles", Jay called after him after all.
The elder turned and looked at him. He just smiled knowingly and then he left the room.
/
Jay had really tried to take Dr. Charles' words to heart. But he had been sitting in a semi-upright position in the bed for days by now. The doctors had told him, that to avoid thrombosis and embolism, he had to be positioned at a certain angle. Positioned... he hated being labeled and treated like an object.
It was slowly but surely draining him, to be condemned to wait and to do absolutely nothing, while he could be much better be of use out there, finally tracking down Cayden. He was still hooked up to all sorts of tubes and IVs. Someone was constantly coming in to check on him or his vitals, but he wanted nothing more than to be responsible for himself again.
He had realized that the right side of his face was covered with sores, when they had brought him a razor two days earlier. He hadn't shaved. He didn't care what he looked like. They had taken some more splinters out of his right arm, but he hadn't seen his back yet. His left arm was still in a sling. He was still wearing a splint, because of the fracture on his wrist... He was beginning to find it almost unbearable to be physically limited like this.
They had sent different Psychologists by several times, but after his conversation with Dr. Charles, he wouldn't talk to anyone except to his colleagues. They took turns, coming by to visit him and to keep him updated on the Investigation. And he talked to Will, even though he tended to get angry, as soon as he showed up. His brother actually let him have all the developments about Fiora's condition, but Jay wanted to see her. He was getting more and more impatient.
"Hey, Partner.", Erin just entered the room and she smiled at him.
She was doing quite well by now and Jay was glad, that she had been able to return to desk-duty after the attack by Woods. She visited him regularly.
"How are you feeling today?", she asked. She came to the bedside and sat down in the chair. She had brought two coffees in paper cups.
"Like yesterday.", he answered emotionlessly.
"It will be fine.", she said and gave one of the cups to him.
He took it and placed it on the side cart, that stood to his right.
"Pumpkin Spice Latte.", she smiled wryly. "It's Halloween soon..."
He wasn't in the mood for small talk, so he decided to ask about the case. "Do you finally have any idea where Cayden is?"
She shook her head. "The Special Victims Unit is still on it and we're continuing to investigate as well. At some point, he'll make a mistake. Then we'll be ready."
Erin pulled out her cell phone and searched for a picture. "Look, Kevin cleaned up your desk for your return. Never looked so good. Everyone says hi, by the way.", she tried to distract him.
He just glanced at the photo and then looked out the window. She meant well, but he wished nothing more than to be able to reappear at his workplace himself.
A nurse came in at that moment, bringing a bouquet of flowers in a vase.
Jay frowned. "Is that for me?", he asked, surprised.
"It was dropped off at the front desk by a Delivery service," the nurse said. "There´s a greeting card."
Erin put her phone down on the mattress, stood up and took the flowers from her. "Thank you, they're beautiful. Jay, do you have any idea who these are from?"
She looked at him and showed him the bouquet. They were white lilies. Erin walked around the bed and placed the vase on the side cart.
"Would you please read the card?", Jay asked her.
Erin took off the clip with the small envelope and went back to her seat. As she sat down, she opened it and looked at him conspiratorially. She was curious who would send him something like that. He himself, had no idea. Then she read the lines and all at once gave him a surprised look.
"What?", he asked.
Erin handed him the small card. It said:
Sorry, no happy ending for you, Detective.
- A.C. -
The flowers were from Alexander Cayden! Surprised, he stared at Erin, who immediately took the card out of his hand and put it on the bed, next to her cell phone. Then she ran out of the room.
"I have to go downstairs!", she shouted.
Jay knew she was on her way to the front desk, to see if she could still catch the Delivery guy. Then a completely different idea occurred to him: Maybe Cayden had delivered the flowers himself and he was here right now... What if he was trying to get to Fiora?
He felt his heartbeat quicken. He was going to call Erin, but then his eyes fell on her cell phone, lying next to him on the mattress. He rang for the nurse. Heart pounding, he waited for someone to come... But nothing happened.
"Damn!", he pushed himself up with his right arm. Then he grabbed the protective grate that was attached to the side of the hospital bed and he heaved himself into a completely upright, sitting position. He bent his upper body forward. He had to get out of that damn bed... Then suddenly, a sharp pain drove into his back. He groaned and paused. Now, the nurse appeared in the doorway and immediately ran to him.
"What are you doing?", she asked.
She grabbed him and pushed his upper body back onto the pillow. Jay groaned, as the movement sent a new wave of pain through his back. He began to sweat and tried to breathe against the pain. He clenched his teeth.
"Stay!", the nurse commanded, rushing out of the room.
Jay felt his entire body tense up as the pain in his back continued to radiate. Moments later, Dr. Rhodes rushed into the room, followed by the nurse.
"Diazepam and Novalgin, IV!", he instructed the nurse, who immediately rushed outside again. Dr. Rhodes felt his pulse. "Jay! What were you thinking?"
"Go to... To Fiora Hillsen's room, please!", Jay pressed out shakily. "Someone may be with her...the bomber..."
Dr. Rhodes looked at him scrutinizingly for a second, but then he started moving and Jay watched him go. He hoped it wasn't too late.
The nurse returned and injected the medication that Dr. Rhodes had ordered into the IV cannula in the back of his hand.
Only seconds later, he felt himself getting sleepy and his muscles relaxed. Then his eyes fell shut...
/